#am sad i missed nicky goal but oh well

[muirneach]

WAIT omg its baby goalie night tuning in immediately. for the last five mins lol

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 144

Cammie

Trey makes a face at me. "Love you."

"Why can't you stay on the phone?"

"I told you, Jay. Bye." he says covering the screen.

He normally does it until I hang up. Today I'm not hanging up. Like I just don't feel like believing that he is 100% faithful today. It's all according to what he does and says. Like he never talks to me as he is getting ready or when his new stylist is around. I hate that. Or the fact that he never video chats me when other people are around. It all makes me wonder. I stare at the blank screen until he moves his hand.

"Jay, Baby?"

"Hmm?"

He sighs. "Here. Talk to CiCi."

I suck my teeth. "No, Tremaine."

"Hey, Cammie."

"Hey." I huff.

She giggles. "Okay then bye."

She doesn't actually hang up. Instead she smiles at the camera then sits it down. She carefully props it up so that I could see Trey fumbling through the clothes. Some lady comes up holding a shirt. He turns back to what he is doing. She brings him something else. He holds it up then holds it out to CiCi who folds it across her arm. Okay, I'm done with this. I hang up. That was boring as shit.

"Hey, Bay." Sevyn says walking in. "Let's walk downstairs."

"I only have a few minutes."

She gestures to me to follow her. I remove my top shirt and replace it with the one I wear downstairs. I've been doing this so much I have a routine now. I even know everyone that works in the café. I'm super glad no one is stunting me.

"Hey, Cammie." someone says excited.

"Um, hey." I say catching up with Sevyn.

Amber looks at me and smile. "What are you thinking about?"

"Like I seriously hate this life."

"Why?" she says stopping in front of a door.

I pause when she starts to enter the room. "Cause... Why we going in here?"

She grabs my hand. "You have an amazing life, Bae. Listen, in a few weeks, you will be home with your perfect family and you will be saying it all different. Trust me."

"Yeah." I shrug looking around the room. "What is this?"

"Something Trey setup." April says smiling extra hard.

"Oh." I say numb.

April touches my hand. "Just say hey and leave if you want. They understand."

The room was filled with roses and only a few people. I feel so nervous for some reason. I mean that maybe what I feel. I just know the numbness is greater than anything. MiMi comes up to me.

"Stop acting like my breast stank." she whines checking herself.

"I meant to tell you MiMi." Sevyn whispers moving her from me. "We have food. Please say you already ate so I can eat the fruit by myself."

I take a shallow deep breath. "Hey, everyone."

It's MiMi, Sevyn, Hidia, Leah, April, and Teyanna. Teyanna looks up from her phone when I speak. She comes over to me then smiles.

"I'm reposting some of your pictures as relationship goals."

"What picture?"

She smiles. "Bitches came all the way to my snap to hate."

I take her phone. "Pictures of me?"

"Oh." she says grabbing the phone back. "Your husband breaking hearts on Twitter, SnapChat, everything. Here is him and Lane on Snapchat making breakfast. Then it's videos of you guys fighting over the camera. So cute. What I love is the Instagram panel of your face. Takes up the whole screen."

"What is that man's problem?" I say.

"Well he explained minutes before blowing everything up with your face."

I watch the video of him singing. He stops then starts talking about how he missed me. I have never know Trey to be so open about anything. He is trying to prove a point with this. I've always been here and there on his page. It's his page. Not really much about me. Now he goes and puts my face all over his page.

"Damn, did he cheat on me?"

"Why would you think that first?" MiMi says. "He misses you."

I go to the buffet table. "MiMi shut up with that Yana save my life bullshit."

MiMi kisses my cheek. "Anyway, how is the man upstairs?"

"God? Oh he cool."

"I hate you." MiMi snaps walking away.

I turn to them. "Y'all I swear I don't feel like being happy. I'm glad y'all love me."

"Yeah, we know you Cammie." Hidia says. "I'm just glad I was included cause like damn I get left out of everything like I don't stay in Atlanta."

"Awh, boohoo." MiMi says.

Hidia laughs. "Damn, I was convinced."

April hugs me. "How is the baby doing this morning? I've been trying to give you your space. I know those nurses are already annoying."

"I mean for real. Like I have to get permission to touch my baby. I don't." I say eating a banana. "Well, I'm going back upstairs."

"Girl, you make me scared to be doing this all over after so many years."

I glance at Leah. Why was that needed? "Don't let me be your guide."

April moves towards the door. "I'll walk you back upstairs."

"Yes, before I lose my support with this cloud of sorrow."

"I love you, Bae." Teyanna says. "Can I come see the baby?"

I turn around and smile. "Yes, of course. Come see him."

"Caden what?"

"Caden Elijah." I smile.

Leah frowns. "I saw the little bundle this morning for the first time. I cried so hard for so long. He is so precious. I can't take it. I'm ready for you to be busy and need a quick sitter."

"Leah, she is married. No quickies." MiMi snaps.

"Love you." Amber says.

April and I leave. "I'm glad you came down."

"I'm so gloomy right now. Leah was making me mad with her drama."

"I know. She is pregnant you and I both know she meant no harm."

I roll my eyes. "All of them wanted me to feel good about this. I can't. I can't even get around thinking he done something negative. I'm screwed up."

"With reason."

"April."

"I'm trying to be supportive, damn it."

I giggle. "Oh, yes, continue."

All she does is smile at me. April has been very supportive. I hate that I'm so attached from everyone. It seems like no one truly understands how I feel. My youngest baby boy is stuck in the hospital with tubes everywhere that I know are uncomfortable. My oldest is thousands of miles away with my love. Nothing is going my way.

  Chris

"Hey, Chrissy." Sevyn says.

"Amber Ass."

She giggles. "I know my ass brown thanks."

I lay back on the bed. "Things are fucked up around here."

"Are they? Trey seems to be fine."

"And when did you figure this out when he talking to Cammie, the person that fucking makes everything gold? How many times you been pissed off and Cammie makes it all good by smiling at you? Anyway, shit not all good."

Sevyn makes a sad face. "Yeah, and Cammie going through a lot. The baby is doing better. Gaining weight."

"I thought I was ready for a baby but the shit is no walk in the park."

"No, it's not."

She gets extremely silent. We stare at each other saying anything. I initially came to Europe to help out. Now I see that the only thing good for Trey is to get back to the other half of his family. He has Lane here which will really help him.

"We went out last night. I won't do that again."

"What do you mean?"

I sigh. "Well, Trey... Don't worry about."

"What happened?"

"Nothing." I say looking away.

I shouldn't have started that statement. The problem is that Trey is too stressed to be in the company of pretty available women. I didn't like how friendly he was being with them. I believe that the night could have possibly ended with him and so random girl. I could tell he wanted freedom from all of this. Maybe a night where he no longer had the responsibility of a family on top of everything. I started acting drunk and making him mad. Eventually we left the club where I instantly sobered up but I started talking about Lane and how he waiting up for us, which is true. He knows Trey was gone.

"Christopher!"

"Hmm?" I say focusing on her.

"You got to tell me."

I lie too easily. "Trey has been having a bad attitude. Almost fought this person. Plus Lane was up waiting for him."

It's not my place to put that burden on her. She shouldn't have to hide that. It's more understandable for a man to hide a man's secrets. Trey wouldn't ever forgive me if I fucked up his marriage. I wouldn't forgive myself.

"Aye, I danced with this big booty hoe." I say to Sevyn.

"I kissed this big booty joe."

I laugh. "Sound like a faggot."

She rolls her eyes. "Trey setup this small dinner for Cammie. We expected her to reject the idea but it was so fucking hard to actually witness. I wanted to reach out and take all her pain away. It's like she is blanked by grief."

"Yeah, I heard from Trey."

"Is that why he blowing up the internet with her?"

I shrug. "I missed that."

"It's all over his Instagram and everything. Cammie feels like he did it just because he cheating on her."

"Why would she think that?" I say freaking out on the inside.

Sevyn shrugs. "She is fragile. She could think anything."

I breathe deeply. "She should voice it to him."

"No, she shouldn't." Sevyn snaps. "She gets a little happy when she talks to him. There is no need to bring in frustration. Imma go talk to her. Call me back in a little while."

"Don't hang up."

She stares at the phone. "What?"

I sit up. "How are you doing? Trey and Cammie aren't the only ones in the world."

"I'm going good." She smiles.

"What are we doing after Trey returns to America?"

"Going to Florida right? I ordered this cute new bathing suit."

"Where we going we gonna be swimming naked."

She giggles. "It's that secluded?"

I nod. "We haven't done something together in a while. I got a lot of stuff planned."

"Chris, I really think you grew a lot. I hate so many people had to deal with the other you. I like the improvement."

"Thanks." I say smiling more on the inside.

"I'm being serious though. I know I got issues and all so I don't know where this will end up but I'm glad we tried... Trying it."

I raise my eyebrows. "I am too."

"Trey only has 4 days."

"That's it?"

She nods. "Yeah."

The room door opens. "Aye, these bitches... You on the phone?"

"Go ahead." Sevyn says kissing at me. "Call me back."

"Nope." I say looking at him.

He stands there silent then kicks back into monster mode. "They want me to close the show instead of it going like it was. So I will only be on stage for 2 songs. One of which is me and Nicki song. They got me fucked if they think I'm doing that shit."

"The fuck?"

"Exactly." he retorts. "They supposed to be bringing in some fucking British brat in. I ain't getting pushed back."

I stand up. "Aye, look. I know you committed to this and everything but you not needed here."

"What?"

"Go home before you fuck something up."

He gives me a cold look. "Let these bitches win by running home. Fuck no."

I didn't want the anger turned on me. "So what you want? Go on stage anyway at your time?"

"I'm thinking that. Let them ruin the show by taking me off."

"Fuck them."

He stares at me. I stand there looking back at him. I gave him the best way out of the shit. I'm going to keep thinking of other ways to get this man home tomorrow. I'm going to come up with something. But for this moment it's me and him against them. Lane neutralizes the rage of Trey by entering the room. He was carrying some index cards.

"That say Daddy?"

"Jump."

Lane shuffle the cards in his little hand. "That say?"

"Could."

"That say, Chris?" Lane says walking to me. "No, say that. That say?"

I chuckle. "Purple."

Lane hands me the card. "I not like purple. You like purple?"

"Yeah."

"That say?"

"Apple. A."

He flips the card over. "It red, Chris?"

"Yes."

Trey walks out of the room. I follow. He is picking up the cards that Lane had scattered around the floor. Lane runs in the room to help him. I pick the ones up by my feet. That little boy is saving Trey right now. Lane makes him laugh. He grabs him and tickle him messing all the cards up again.

"Damn it." Lane says looking at the pile. "All my words."

"Son." Trey says then laughs.

Lane starts trying to fix them. "I do it."

[waterkick15-blog]

July 2018 Must-Read Books

A review of the 8 must-read books I finished in July of 2018. 

Dear friend,

Since getting  my reading glasses and solving the whole “I’m losing my mind because words are jumping around on the pages” problem, I’ve been taking advantage of reading ALL THE BOOKS. It feels SO good to be reading again!

I thought I’d do a quick roundup of some of my July must-read books. As always, if we aren’t friends on Goodreads click here to friend me there so we can share real time book recommendations with each other. It’s my favorite site to hang out on although my “to read” shelf is dangerously large. There are way too many good books out there and not enough time, am I right?

Since I have a lot of books to share, I’m just going to write a short review about each one, however if you want to know more about any of these must-read books just leave a comment and let me know. Let’s dive in, shall we?

How to Walk Away by Katherine Center   

My rating: 4 out of 5 Stars

About this book:  Margaret is a young twenty something woman living her best life. She has a wonderful fiancé, is getting ready to start her dream job and has a future that’s planned out down to the white picket fence. Things change when Margaret is in a plane crash that severely changes her way of life. Through her recovery, she is able to examine her relationships and life goals more closely and determine if the great track she was on is really the track she wants to be on in her life. This was a heartwarming story about true love, forever family and how sometimes the worst things in life aren’t actually so.

If, like me, you loved Katherine Center’s book Happiness for Beginners you’ll love How to Walk Away. You can add it to Goodreads here or purchase it on Amazon here.

Ginny Moon by Benjamin Ludwig

My Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

About this book: Ginny Moon is a 13 year old autistic girl who suffered terrible neglect and abuse from her birth mother. Ginny was eventually rescued and placed into foster care. After being shuffled from home to home, Ginny is finally placed in the loving care of a family who plans on adopting her. The only problem is, Ginny is hiding a terrible secret and because of it she can’t seem to let her past go. Ginny’s obsession with her past is threatening to ruin her future which is a chance Ginny can’t afford to take.

Ginny Moon is such a terribly sad yet heartwarming book that I think every parent and educator should read. You can add Ginny Moon to your Goodreads here or buy it on Amazon here.

Hum If You Don’t Know The Words by Bianca Marais

My Rating: 5 out of 5 Stars

About this book: Oh, how I loved this book. Hum If You Don’t Know The Words takes place in 1976 apartheid South Africa. Robin is a 9 year old white girl who becomes orphaned after her parents are murdered (most likely as a consequence of her fathers racist behavior towards blacks). Living in a rural village many miles away is Beauty, a 50 year old, educated, black mother. Both Robin and Beauty live in an era of racial divide and come together when Beauty searches for her daughter who she believes left school to become part of the resistance. Through a turn of events, Beauty becomes Robin’s caretaker and despite their outward differences, the two develop a special bond that helps them navigate the terrifying world they live in.

Hum If You Don’t Know the Words is a beautiful book about the bond of family and friendship that goes beyond race and stereotypes. If you loved The Help you will love Bianca Marais’ debut novel. You can add Hum If You Don’t Know the Words to Goodreads here or buy it on Amazon here. (I just read that this might not be the last we hear from Robin and Beauty and I can’t wait!).

The Summer That Melted Everything by Tiffany McDaniel

My Rating: 4 out of 5 stars 

About this book: Friends, I don’t even know where to start with this book and would desperately like to talk to anyone who has read it. It was one of the most moving yet bewildering books I’ve read in a very long time. I was sucked in by the story, moved by the writing, and left in a state of wonderment about what I just finished reading when I closed the book. I don’t even know what to say about it, so instead, I’ll just leave a short synopsis from their website here: “The Devil comes to Ohio…and is a 13-year-old boy. This devastating and original story delves into the depths of community, revenge, redemption, and where evil really resides. In the end, you must decide is this boy, who speaks in riddles and brings with him a heatwave unlike the town has ever seen, really the devil…or a victim.”

The Summer That Melted Everything is definitely not for everyone and is definitely not a book in my normal genre. Fans of Neil Gaiman and readers who are looking to suspend reality and be made to think deeply, will enjoy this book. You can add this book to your Goodreads shelf here or buy it from Amazon here.

Educated by Tara Westover

My rating: 4 out of 5 stars

About this book: I love a good memoir. In fact if I had to pick a favorite genre memoir would be it. I especially love memoirs about life so outside the norm of my own, which is what Educated is. In this memoir, Tara Westover chronicles her life growing up completely off the grid in rural Idaho. Tara’s parents (especially her dad) were paranoid anti-government extremists Mormons who did not believe in sending their kids to school, avoided doctors and hospitals (even after severe, life threatening accidents, which were plenty) and attempted to be as self-sufficient as possible. While living at home Tara often experienced abuse by one of her brothers that went ignored by her parents. Tara’s version of the story chronicles her life growing up under these circumstances and eventually tells of her move away from the Mormon church as well as leaving Idaho and her family behind to get a proper education.

Educated reminded me some of Jame’s Frey’s book A Million Little Pieces (which is one of my favorite books). Some of the stories told seemed to be so extreme it was hard for me to imagine them actually being true. Tara is sticking by her story although several family members are not so happy about the light she has shone on them and are offering up different versions of their facts surrounding her upbringing. Either way, if you like a good memoir, definitely pick up Educated. You can add this book to your Goodreads shelf here or buy it on Amazon here.

A Simple Favor by Darcey Bell

My Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

About this book: Stephanie and Emily are best friends who met because they both have young sons the same young age. One day, Emily asks Stephanie a simple favor…would she mind picking her son Nicky up from school and watching him for awhile? These kind of favors aren’t unusual between these two friends, so Stephanie happily obliges. What isn’t typical is Emily never shows back up to pick up her son. What happens next is a twisted and suspenseful story with lots of unexpected turns. What was fun for me (and made me cringe a little) is Stephanie is a blogger who blogs about the whole experience of searching for her missing best friend.

Fans of Gone Girl or The Last Mrs Parrish will like this one. Bonus, it’s currently free for the audio version on the Hoopla app (which is how I listened to it). A Simple Favor has been made into a movie starring Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively which I think is perfect casting. You can catch the movie in theaters in September.

You can add A Simple Favor to your Goodreads shelf here or buy it from Amazon here.

The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah

My Rating: 5 out of 5 Stars

About the book: I had the opportunity to visit Alaska during the summer of 2017 and reading this book made me miss it so much. It is one of the most beautiful places on earth.

The Great Alone begins with Ernt Allbright up and moving his wife Cora and his teenage daughter Leni to the wilderness of Alaska in the 1970’s. With little advanced planning, the Allbright’s have no idea what they are getting into with the harsh Alaskan winters and realize once they’ve arrived that they are completely unprepared for the new homesteading lifestyle they face. To make matters worse, Ernt Allbright is a Vietnam Vet who is fighting demons that remain from the war. He’s unhinged and mentally unstable, which makes the long winters even more difficult. The local neighbors try to help the Allbright’s out by donating livestock and food to help get their new life in Alaska started, but over time Ernt’s hostile, unpredictable and abusive ways tend to alienate the Allbright family from others who can help them.

Kristin Hannah is an incredible storyteller and it’s evident in the way she crafted this beautifully sad story of the Allbright family. This is definitely not a happy book, but one that will capture your attention from page one and continue to hold you captive until the very end. If you love Kristin Hannah’s other books, you will definitely love The Great Alone. You can add this book to your Goodreads shelf here or buy it from Amazon here.

The 57 Bus by Dashka Slater

My rating: 3 out of 5 stars

About the book: This is a true story about two very different teens who spend just a few minutes on a public bus at the same time each day and how their lives drastically change when one of them does something really stupid and ends up being charged with a hate crime. It’s a timely read about gender identity, racial tension and unexpected forgiveness.

This is an important read that will both break your heart and open your mind to the daily reality of those who might be different from us. You can add this book to your Goodreads shelf here or purchase it from Amazon here.

OK friends, I fell like I just dumped a ton of books on you, but hopefully out of these 8 must-read books you’ll find a couple that pique your interest.

When you get a moment leave a comment letting me know what must-read books you’ve been reading lately! In addition, if you’ve read any of the books I recommended today, let me know your thoughts about it. As always, check out all of my reading activity on Goodreads and follow my 2 Minute Book Chats on Instagram Stories for more of a live look at what books I’m reading.

All the best,

Kristen

For more must-read books, check out my past book review posts here. 

Disclosure: There are affiliate links in my July 2018 Must-Read Books post. This means if you choose to purchase a book through any of the affiliate links above, at no additional cost to you, I may receive a small commission. Thank you for purchasing your books through Dine & Dish…your support helps to keep me reading so I can continue to share more must-read books with you.

Source: https://dineanddish.net/2018/08/july-2018-must-read-books/

[hendricks94]

2017: New Beginnings

Eight hours into my shift and I’m ready to just quit. Nothing bad happened just done with this nine to five bullshit. I’m tired of working in general. I’m trying to explore the damn world, but ain’t no one got money for that. Lot of stuff has been going on but to sum everything up: I’m going back to college for Computer Science, I’m in the process of saving for a house and slowly losing my old friends. What happened? Life happened. 

Audio was my life and something I was super passionate about. Music was what ran through my veins and I took every measure to get into the industry. More on the studio side, but it didn’t end up that way. The live industry is much more interactive than anything, but it’s not what I wanted to do. I live in Las Vegas and there is a couple major studios out here and it’s hard to find an open position. Then I had many different thoughts about my career path. At the beginning of this year I have come to realize that I am not happy in what I am doing. I realized that even if I were to try and move into the studio industry, I would be disappointed. No one is making real albums anymore. Everyone is making music at home and on their own computers and it’s just not attractive. I want to be able to go into the studio, recall the patchbay, setup a drum kit with 12-20 microphones, get DIs for keyboards, I want a full band to come in and vibe like it used to be. Yes, that is still happening now but rarely. Everyone is too busy trying to live their lives as well. There’s rarely any dedication to music anymore and it’s sad. Maybe someone will read this and be like “we have that come to our studio and we can talk about employment.” I think my last opportunity was apply for Sony as a sound designer, I didn’t get it. So, I’m over audio. I will probably still make music as a hobby. Don’t want to do anything big with it but to entertain people. I don’t want to be famous or for anyone to care really. 

I’ve always been interested in computers and want to try a different pathway. I’m going to begin my study at UNLV. The only shit that sucks is that I have to start all over. Since I went to a technical school my credits don’t count for transfer. Whatever though. I start in fall and have my classes picked out and tuition is $4,000! Hopefully Nicki Minaj will help me pay for my first semester. I’m excited to go back to school and learn something new. Maybe meet some new people.

I do dislike my job, but I have been getting some serious hours, getting paid somewhat well and about to get a raise. I’ve been drooling over houses lately, oh my gosh.

I saw this place and almost went bonkers. It’s $6,250,000, so if any rich sugar mommas are reading this I will suck your tit milk for a nice luxurious home. Just kidding. Maybe. I’ll consider if you ask. Anyway I got turned on by the fact that I could own my own house. Within the past year I’ve picked up a new hobby. Investing. It’s one of my new place to put money, otherwise I’d spend it on some alcohol, going out with friends and other activities that inquire money. I picked up a Investing For Dummies book and got familiar with many different investing options. I now own over 1000 stocks from two different sites and basically have an extra $2,000 just waiting to shoot up or just my accounts to build up enough money to buy a home. I also have my own savings account and a joint saving with my girl. I’m really anxious about buying my first home and get excited every time I come across a site full of listings of houses on sale or that I can build. Like huge boner when I see some shit like the place above which my ignorant ass will probably never own. I am paying attention to places that are worth about $250,000 to $300,000 at this moment. My whole aspect of my paychecks has changed and I’m going to do everything I can to get into my own house by next year.

As for my friends, they all just dipped dawg. Sort of. Everyone is just busy and have their own thing going on which is cool. I guess I’ve been asked a few times to hang out and couldn’t because I was working or tired from working and they stopped asking. I’ve been trying to keep in touch but it seems like no one wants to make an effort to keep in touch. It’s cool though I see y’all. I’m making some new acquaintances and may turn into friends, maybe. My girlfriend wants me to hang out with her friends and then they talk some shit about some bullshit and really don’t want to be around that drama. My friend Tiffany has been keeping in touch since she moved, but mostly because she has some things she going through which isn’t going to be disclosed but she’s always been near whenever I needed someone to talk to. Now I have to be a friend and return the favor and make her feel like this world is not against her. I miss her dearly. My other friend Mabel lives in Washington and keeps in touch regularly, but she isn’t physically here with me so it’s hard. She been around for 7 to 8 years. One of my longest friendships ever. She bought us tickets for Tech N9ne (or at least I think she did) a couple of years back for the Hard Rock Live. We got kicked out because she was a lightweight on tequila. It was funny until I almost got arrested because the cops thought I slipped her a pill but thankfully she remembered my name. That night I took care of her and nursed her back to health with some In N Out. I always bring up that story when she’s telling me how she went out and drank so much, she gets mad. I miss her so so so much. I really want to make the trip out to see her but it’s super expensive.

Life has been a little rough, but I have been taking it one day at a time. Whenever I feel discouraged I immediately focus on my goal and get right back on my feet. One thing I want people to know is that nothing is going to get better until you make it better. If you’re going to lay around in your tears nothing is going to get better, for anyone. I just made it past another fork in the road (I went right if you were wondering) and ready to see what is down this path. This is 2017: New Beginnings

P.S. Sugar Momma applications will be available.