#am not a fan of ordinary plays so i don’t have any material to reference either lmao)

[pallases]

GUYS

[unabashegirl]

Omg so glad you opened requests! Can you do a ddXreader where she is an actress (Netflix original level not superstar) and they’re adjusting to life including both of their fan bases and having to merge worlds

--- 

FAME

Fame. It is something that sought and dreamt by many. Some aren’t lucky enough and end up spending the rest of their lives seeking it. Running after a dream that wasn’t meant for them. You are one of the expectations. It wasn’t long ago that you were stumbling into different castings and giving it your all to try to accomplish your dream. 

Three years ago your time to shine finally came. That month not only had you accomplished what many had failed to do, but you had also signed a contract with one of the biggest entertainment companies. Netflix. 

The first season of the show was a success. Shortly after the premiere, Netflix announced a second season. The audience demanded it and craved for more. A few days after the release of the second season you met him. He had been invited to one of your co-star's afterparty. The way he carried himself with such confidence, but without any arrogance -- called your attention that night. 

He is everything you have ever dreamt of in a boyfriend. He does all the little things like putting socks on your feet when he notices they are too cold. He serves you coffee in bed, even though he doesn’t like the taste. He plays with your hair when you lay your head on his lap while going over scripts. He even laughs at your awful jokes. After long days at work, you lay on the bed with one another and he tells you about his day while holding your hand. He just truly cares 

“Baby?” You heard from the inside of the room, followed by the sound of the front door being shut. You sit on the bathroom floor with a box of tissues and your phone close by. 

“I’ll be right out!” You yell back as you try to clean up the mess that you had created in your bathroom. Nonetheless to say it has been a rough day. You have been stuck reading over the script for the third season of the show. David had promised you to have dinner with you and stay over after a movie. 

You have been crying all afternoon after reading some comments under an Instagram post. That only lead you down a vortex of hate comments that essentially made you feel like trash and not good enough for David or Netflix. Devastated, you locked yourself in your bathroom and cried your eyes out for a couple of hours. If it wasn’t for David you would have probably continued to cry until the next day. 

“I got us your favorite!” David had picked up Thai food from your favorite place. He made sure to order your favorite dish -- coconut chicken curry with jasmine rice. He settles the brown paper bags on the coffee table in the living room. He heads towards the bedroom in search of you. 

You quickly wash your face and attempt to look like you haven’t spent most of the day crying. There are a few minutes of utter silence before you hear David attempting to open the bathroom. You take one last breath before opening the door and revealing yourself to your boyfriend. 

“There you are” he smiles at the sight of his girlfriend. You look around and try your best not to look at him straight in the eyes. You don’t want David to find out. You don’t want him to think that you are weak.  “I’ve missed you” 

“I’ve missed you more. How was your day?” You ask as you step closer to him. You wrap your arms around his neck, thinking that maybe some contact with him will heal you. 

“It was pretty good. We got enough content for the vlog. Yours?” He asks, wrapping his arms around your waist, pushing your bodies closer together. 

“It was alright. Nothing out of the ordinary” David nods before leaning down and gently kissing her lips. You kiss back for a few minutes before he pulls away. 

“Let’s go eat. Food is getting cold” He takes your hand in his and pulls you towards the living room. The food is already unpacked and ready to be eaten. You don’t have much of an appetite yet you force yourself to eat. Just for David since he had gone to all the trouble to get your favorite. 

You choose a movie to watch while eating and proceeded in enjoying the deliciousness of the Thai food. 

By the end of the movie both of you are stuffed and ready to fall into a food coma. Your feet rest on his lap while you both struggle to stay awake. When the movie comes to an end, David shuts off the move. You wait for him to rise for you to do the same, but he never does. He just stares at you while drawing circles on your ankle with the tip of his index and middle finger. 

“Let’s go to sleep” You suggest feeling exhausting. Your eyes are still stinging from crying so much. You just want to cuddle up to him and forget about today. 

“Y/N?” He calls out, “Why were you crying today? Is everything okay?” He had noticed from the very beginning. He knows you too well to know that something is bothering you. 

“It’s nothing,” You say, chocking up in tears. David’s sleep instantly goes out the window when he notices the change in your voice and your eyes welling up with tears. You shake your head at him as he sits up straight and leans forward. 

“How are you going to say that it’s nothing? Look at you, baby. If something is bothering you, please let me know” Your breathing becomes more difficult, you choke up and sob. You look away as the tears start falling. 

David sighs heavily, throws the blanket off your bodies, and pulls you by your wrist. You close enough to hide your face in the crook of your neck. You grip the soft material of his back shirt as you allow the big wave of tears to unravel. David’s hands travel up your back trying to soothe you while the other holds you close. 

“Why are you so sad, baby?” He whispers as he continues to hold you. He tries his best not to move you an inch and just allow you to cry. A few minutes pass by before you take your head off his shoulder. 

David's hands come up to should face and gently pull the strands of hair that have stuck to you face. He cups your face in his hands as he tries to get a good look at you. In his eyes, even after all that crying, you still manage to look breathtakingly beautiful. 

“I- r-read some comments” You hiccup trying to catch your breath. David frowns knowing where this was going.” They just said I should be with you. They say I don’t deserve you” you wipe your tears with the back of your hand. 

“How many times have I told you to stop reading the comments? People are mean, baby. They don’t worry about hurting anyone's feelings. They are selfish. They don’t know about us” He grips your chin, forcing your glances to meet. 

“What if they are right? What if I actually don’t deserve you and you are too good for me?” You exhale loudly, finally catching up with your breathing. Your head is pulsating and you can feel the headache creeping up. 

“They don’t know shit, baby. You know how many people comment on my videos and Instagram post, comparing me to him?” By him, he refers to your co-star. He is every girl's dream. He and you are in a romantic relationship on the TV show. Some people take it out of context and make up stories like you only dating David for more exposure. “They all think that you should be with someone like him” You shake your head at him. His eyes swell with tears and his voice break. For the first time, he looks vulnerable and so different from the confident man that you had met at the party. You lean in and peck his lips while caressing the back of his neck. 

“and do you think I let those comments get to me?” You shake your head at him.”I don’t because no one beside us knows what we have and how special it is. Let them talk and let them say whatever they want. At the end of the day, you are mine and I am yours” He grabs your hands and kisses them. 

“I love you, Dave” You whisper as you look at him with adoration. You had read the comments on your Instagram, but you haven’t stopped to think about the comments on his Youtube channel. “They have to get used to us because I am not going anywhere” 

“Really?” He smiles as he hands strokes your back. “I thought I would finally get rid of you” You gasp and smack his chest, earning a heavy laugh from him. 

“Way to ruin the moment, doofus” You giggle as he hides his face in the crook of your neck, hiding his big smile. 

-- 

I hope you liked it! Let me know! 

[there-must-be-a-lock]

Big Damn Heroes

A Supernatural / Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover! 

Characters: Sam, Dean, Cas, Charlie, Buffy, Willow, Spike, Xander, Giles, Anya, Faith

Word Count: ~4930

Warnings: Flirting, play-fighting... it’s sexy but not smutty. 75% banter, 20% geeky references. (No, seriously, SO MANY. If anyone can spot all the easter eggs/quotes from Supernatural, the Whedonverse, and beyond, I’ll give you a cookie.) 

A/N: For @impala-dreamer​ and @deanwanddamons​, and the I Do Understand That Reference Challenge! I’ve been wanting to write a SPN/BtVS crossover since I first started watching Supernatural; I’ve been imagining some of these character interactions for a while. Thanks for giving me an excuse to finally do it! 

Major thanks to @stunudo​ and @thoughtslikeaminefield​ for the reading and cheerleading. This was the most excited I’ve been about writing in a hot minute and I was so happy that you guys were excited to read it. 

This bears very little resemblance to either show’s canon/timeline. No Dawn, no Tara. Just go with it. 

“Okay, stand super still for me?” Charlie asks apprehensively. She twiddles a few knobs on the gadget she’d built, and a little fan of laser beams shoots out one end. She points it at Dean, who grimaces and shields his junk protectively as the lights sweep up and down his body. 

Sam rubs at the tension headache that’s developing between his eyes. “You sure about this?” 

“No?” Charlie says, voice squeaking slightly, and Sam’s headache throbs again. “But… I think so. It should work. I don’t think you understand how ridiculously complicated this whole thing is.” 

“You are bringing their alternate selves here from an entirely different universe,” Cas says skeptically, arms crossed as he looks critically at the scene. “There are a lot of variables at work.” 

Charlie points the device at Sam and scans him as she nods firmly. “Yes. Thank you. What Cas said. What’s the worst that can happen, right?” 

Sam raises his eyebrows and sees Dean and Cas making near-identical expressions of disbelief. 

“Right. Probably not a good thing to ask around here, huh? You guys are like the living embodiment of Murphy’s Law. I don’t think I’m gonna, like, blow anything up though, so that’s something!” Charlie cuts off her own nervous babbling and takes a deep breath. “Well, here goes nothing.” 

Sam's ears start to ring, and he feels a tug somewhere in his chest. The bunker fuzzes and fades around them. 

The last thing Sam hears is Cas saying flatly, “Well that can’t be good.” 

***

Dean’s drawing his gun before the room even comes into focus, fighting a dizzying surge of nausea. He looks around wildly, turning to scan his surroundings. There’s a redhead in an eye-poppingly colorful sweater sitting on the couch, looking at him open-mouthed; a cute, tiny blonde at her side; a cozy, utterly suburban living room; and most importantly, a total lack of Sam, as far as he can see, and that’s a problem. 

“Whoa, hey, take it easy,” the blonde says sharply. “Drop the gun.” She’s standing, coming toward him with her hands raised, and she’s clearly not a threat, but Dean’s not letting his guard down yet. He eases his finger off the safety but keeps it pointed at her. 

“Where’s my brother?” Dean snaps. 

“You just Apparated into the middle of my house, buddy, how ‘bout I ask the questions?” she says, unfazed. Which. Fair. Dean lowers the gun slightly. 

The second he starts to relax, the blonde is whipping around like a goddamn ninja and kicking the gun out of his hand. She settles back into a fighting stance, looking way more serious than anyone wearing sparkly lip gloss has any right to look. Dean’s so stunned he doesn’t even try to fight back; he stares for a second, torn between the urge to pull his other gun out of the back of his pants, just to make a point, and the urge to propose on the spot, because wow. 

“Um, hi, answers now?” the redhead says, still sitting on the couch, staring incredulously. 

Dean takes a deep breath. “I’m Dean Winchester. I’m pretty sure this was a fuckup of gigantic proportions. Where am I? Who are you? How did you…” 

“Sunnydale, Buffy, and mystical forces-of-evil-fighting Slayer powers,” she rattles off, with a little smile at the look of astonishment on his face. “Yeah, I get that a lot.” 

“Buffy?” Dean says, smirking, and she raises an eyebrow. 

“That’s really not the part most people fixate on,” she says bemusedly. There’s a phone ringing somewhere in the next room, and Buffy shouts without taking her eyes off Dean: “Xander? Would you get that?” 

“I’m not most people.” 

***

“Yes, quite. We’ll be right over,” Giles says, and he hangs up before turning back to Sam with a long-suffering expression. “Your brother is safe and sound. I’ll take you to him and we can try to sort this mess out.” 

Sam lets out a long sigh of relief, following Giles to the door. He looks down at his phone again as Giles locks up, but it still displays “no signal.” Sam frowns. 

“Where are we?” he asks. 

“Sunnydale, California.” Giles leads the way to a tiny European car. Sam has to fold up like a pretzel to get in the passenger seat. 

He watches out the window as Giles drives, frowning to himself as he tries to figure out why they’re here of all places. He’d been so busy with the whole Apparition thing that he didn’t question Giles’s initial reaction to a stranger materializing in the middle of his living room, but his expression had definitely been more resigned and exasperated than astonished, like maybe this sort of thing happened to him a little too often. 

“Is there such a thing as magic in this world?” Sam says, with a sneaking suspicion that he already knows the answer. “Or… ghosts? Demons?” 

Giles blinks a few times. “Magic, yes. Demons, quite. Ghosts… not that I’m aware of, but stranger things have happened on a Hellmouth, I’m sure.” 

“A what?” 

“Hellmouth. Sunnydale sits on top of a literal gate to hell, and as such, there is a convergence of mystical energy here. It tends to draw monsters and… well, general disaster.” Giles sounds like he’s repeated this little speech a few times before. 

“Averted any apocalypses lately?” Sam asks wryly, and that does get him a very polite, British expression of surprise. 

“Well, yes. A few, as a matter of fact. Buffy does stay busy.” 

“Buffy?” 

“Yes, the friend I called when you arrived. The Slayer. Do they have one of those in whatever world you’re from?” 

“In my world, Slayer is a band,” Sam says with a shrug. “So… you’ve never heard of me? Or my brother? Dean Winchester?” 

Giles gives him a skeptical sideways look. “Should I have?” 

“I think I have a theory.” 

“It’s not bunnies.” 

“What?” 

“Never mind. Go on.” 

***

“This is where you live?” Dean asks, looking around at the big windows and unlocked door. “Are there protective spells or anything, at least?” 

“No. And thus, the neverending construction,” Xander says mournfully, nodding toward an unfinished window frame. 

Dean’s still processing how normal it is. They’re all sitting around in the incredibly ordinary living room on comfortably mismatched couches, and the coffee table in front of him has a copy of Cosmo on it, for fuck’s sake. He’s never met a hunter of any kind who’d be reading about “Why Wet Kisses Make Men Horny.” 

He looks up hopefully when he hears the door, but it’s not Sam; there’s a bleach-blonde guy coming in, shaking off the ratty blanket he’d been wearing like a cape. 

“Oh, great, you’re back,” Willow grumbles. 

Buffy gives him a look that’s borderline murderous, which would be about as threatening as a newborn kitten if Dean didn’t know what she’s capable of. “Why, exactly, are you back?” 

“Bored. Not much to do in a crypt.” The guy shrugs, looking Dean up and down with an appraising gleam in his eye. “Who’s the pretty boy?” 

Dean’s still processing “crypt.” Before he can decide how he feels about the flirtatious tone, Buffy answers for him: “Spike, this is Dean. Dean, this is Spike. Spike, you can fuck right off now. Dean, you want a glass of water or something? Sorry, all the alternate universe talk made me forget my manners.” 

“Got anything stronger?” 

“If by stronger you mean orange juice?” Buffy offers apologetically, but Spike pulls a flask out of the inside of his long coat and passes it to Dean with a smug half-smile. Then he makes himself at home in one of the armchairs, raising an eyebrow at Buffy as if to make it extra clear that he has no plans to “fuck right off” any time soon. 

“Cheers,” Dean says gratefully. 

Spike winks at him, obvious and shameless, and drawls, “You just let me know if you need anything else.” 

Buffy’s got her arms crossed, glaring daggers at Spike, and Dean can tell there’s something going on there, but he can’t really resist flashing his most charming grin in Spike’s direction.  

The front door opens again, and Dean breathes a long sigh of relief when he sees Sam. 

***

“What makes you think there’s a version of you in this universe, anyway?” Willow asks, and everybody pauses to think about that one for a second. “I mean, if there are all these different worlds, why are you guys the heroes in every single one?” 

“Bit bloody full of yourselves,” Spike says. There’s no reason for that sentence to sound as suggestive as it does, but that seems to be his default tone. Sam tries not to notice the way Spike’s staring at his brother. Not like Dean is aware of it; he’s too busy staring at Buffy. 

“There’s a world with nothing but shrimp,” Xander chips in unhelpfully. Sam shakes his head like that might clear his ears. 

“Chuck said -” Dean starts, and Sam cuts him off with a gesture before anyone can ask who “Chuck” is. That seems like a surefire way to derail this barely-coherent conversation, and Sam wants to figure out how to get the hell home. 

“It’s not a bad point,” he says. “So if Charlie programmed the thing -” Willow opens her mouth like she really wants to interrupt, but Sam plows on, “- to bring us from a world that didn’t have an us, maybe that’s what made it glitch. It couldn’t bring anyone to us, so it brought us here instead.” 

“But why would it drop you with us?” Buffy asks. 

“You guys seem to be the ones who deal with the apocalypses around here,” Dean says, shrugging. 

“We are the local experts at the saving people and the hunting things,” Buffy agrees. 

Spike smirks. “Big damn heroes, is what we are.” 

Buffy shoots him a withering glare. “You are not included in this.” 

“But why split us up?” Sam muses, rubbing the bridge of his nose. His headache has not improved in the slightest. When he looks up, Dean’s eyes are darting between Sam and Giles, who has his glasses off and is pinching his own nose in the exact same spot. 

“Wow, Sammy,” Dean says, an infuriating grin spreading over his face. 

“What?”  

Dean turns to Buffy. “So this whole Slayer thing. Kind of a birthright? Destiny?” 

She shrugs. “I guess so. There was this whole group of old British guys with sticks up their asses, but... ” 

Sam rolls his eyes, starting to see where Dean’s heading with this, and asks Buffy, “Ever died, by any chance?” 

“Twice, actually,” she replies, without batting an eye. She looks back and forth between them. “Wait, have either of you -” 

“Trust me, you don’t wanna know,” Dean says ruefully. “Sacrificed yourself to save someone, I’m guessing?” 

“That’s me, self-sacrificey girl,” Buffy says, matter-of-fact and borderline chipper. “Kind of my specialty. That and the quipping.” 

“Let me guess, you handle the research,” Sam says to Giles. 

“Well, yes, I suppose. Although I’m not exactly helpless in a fight. I do know a bit of magic as well.”  

Sam buries his face in his hands for a second. 

“So when the program couldn’t find a match for either of us, it sent us to… someone as much like us as it could find,” Dean says. 

Willow jumps in quickly. “What sort of computer -” 

“What was that about shrimp?” Dean asks at the same time. Everybody starts talking at once, and Sam sighs heavily. He almost rubs his forehead again, but he stops himself when he notices Giles doing the same thing.

***

Dean’s trying to explain the whole Chuck situation when he sees the distortion in the middle of the room, and he trails off in the middle of the sentence, watching anxiously as Charlie blurs in and out a few times before solidifying in front of them. 

“Okay, weird,” she blurts out, looking around wide-eyed and overwhelmed. 

“Holy fuck am I glad to see you,” Dean says fervently. 

“Right back atcha,” Charlie says. “Somebody want to tell me what the fuck is going on?” 

“Ooh, are you the one who beamed them up?” Willow asks excitedly. “Actually… you look weirdly familiar, have we met before?” 

Charlie blinks at her a few times, a smile spreading across her face, and shakes her head. “I don’t think so. Pretty sure I’d remember you.” 

“This is Charlie, she’s our resident computer genius,” Dean says, and they make the rounds of introductions yet again. 

Charlie gives everyone an awkward little wave. “Charlie. Um. I like LARPing, pretty women, and long walks on the beach.” 

Dean doesn’t miss the way Willow perks up at that, and he bites the inside of his cheek to hold back his laughter. 

“Hey, where’s Cas?” Charlie asks, finally tearing her eyes away from Willow long enough to look around the room, as if Cas might’ve hid behind the bookshelf when he arrived. 

Dean’s stomach sinks. “He came with you?”

“Yeah, we -” Charlie starts, but she’s interrupted by the door opening, and much to Dean’s relief, Cas is walking through it next to a frazzled-looking girl. 

“I’m hoping one of you can explain why this man materialized in my car?” the girl asks irritably. “As if parallel parking wasn’t hard enough without surprises.” 

“Hi to you too, Anya,” Buffy chirps. “Glad everybody could join us for what was supposed to be my relaxing day of solitude.” 

“I’m not a man, exactly,” Cas interjects. 

Anya tilts her head to the side inquisitively, glancing very blatantly down at Cas’s crotch for a second, and Dean snorts. 

“Would it be rude if I asked -” Anya starts. 

Giles answers before she can finish: “Yes, it undoubtedly would be.” 

“I’m an angel,” Cas says nonchalantly. 

“Judging by everyone’s faces, Anya’s not an angel, then?” Sam asks, looking between the two of them. 

“Only that one time, for Xander’s birthday,” Anya volunteers, and Xander splutters an incoherent protest. “But that was a sexy angel, not a real angel. I don’t think we have those here.”  

“She used to be a revenge demon,” Buffy explains. 

“Used to be?” Cas asks. 

“Oh, I’m human now,” Anya reassures him.

Spike adds, “Not that you’d know it, talking to her.” 

“Considering how primitive and strange humans are considered to be by most of the known universe, I wouldn’t say that’s a bad thing,” Cas says mildly. “Some of your customs are utterly incomprehensible to an outsider.” 

“That’s what I keep saying!” Anya exclaims. “I mean, how am I supposed to know exactly which reproductive habits are acceptable for public discussion?” 

“They do have some very arbitrary rules about appropriate behavior,” Cas says. Dean notices Sam and Giles rubbing their foreheads in tandem again. 

***

By the time they finish asking all their questions and comparing apocalypses, Sam’s actually kind of having fun, but he knows it’s time to get back to work. 

“You ready to get out of here?” he asks Dean, during the next lull in the conversation. Dean looks more than a little put out as he sneaks a glance at Buffy, but he shrugs. 

“Probably should. Charlie? Hey, Earth to Charlie.” 

Charlie looks pretty dazed as she turns to face them. “Hmm?” 

“We should probably get home,” Sam says apologetically. 

Charlie’s face falls. “Really?” 

Dean gives her a sympathetic look. “Worlds to save, and stuff. Still need to find a way to warn all those other Sams and Deans. Sorry, kiddo.” 

“Maybe you can come back sometime, if you… y’know, survive the apocalypse?” Willow says, with a hopeful smile. Charlie grins at her. 

“We also have places to be,” Anya says cheerfully. “Very important things to do.” 

“Subtle,” Xander mutters. They wave their goodbyes and head for the door, followed by a somewhat sulky-looking Spike. Then again, that might just be Spike’s face; Sam can’t really tell. 

Cas, Charlie, Sam, and Dean huddle in the middle of the living room, and Charlie says resignedly, “Strap yourselves in, I’m gonna make the jump to lightspeed.” 

“You don’t have to scan us again, do you?” Dean asks, eyeing the gadget with some mistrust. 

“Nope. We’re all saved in the system. Ready?” 

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Dean says, with one last half-smile in Buffy’s direction. Charlie hits the button. 

Nothing happens. Charlie frowns and hits it again. 

“Charlie?” Sam says hesitantly. 

“No, obviously that’s not supposed to be happening,” she retorts. She fiddles with a couple knobs. “I think I know what it is, though. There are all sorts of parameters for, like, which Earth you’re coming from and which Earth you’re going to, and I think the weird glitchy thingy might’ve scrambled the algorithm.” 

Dean leans in to look. “Did you try hitting it?” 

“It’s quantum physics, Dean, you can’t just keymash until it works,” Charlie says, rolling her eyes and holding it away from him. “Unless you want to be stuck in shrimp-world or something.” 

“How long do you think it’ll take to fix it?” Sam asks. 

Charlie shrugs. “Could be a couple hours, could be a day or two.” 

“I could help you,” Willow offers. Charlie looks like Christmas came early. 

“You guys are welcome to stay, it’s no biggie,” Buffy offers. “Not like you’re the strangest thing that’s ended up in my living room.” 

“I’m flattered,” Dean says with a grin. 

Sam sighs, but he can think of worse worlds to be in for a day or two. At least they’re not surrounded by shrimp. 

***

“So this is what you do every night?” Dean asks, as Buffy hops the fence with zero visible effort. He might have actual hearts in his eyes. 

“Pretty much,” she says cheerfully. Dean follows her. He does okay, even if he doesn’t stick the landing like a Russian gymnast. 

Sam had stayed home, after some silent pleading in eyebrow-speak, so it’s just the two of them, and it’s nice, for a graveyard. There’s something about the idea of “patrolling” that Dean likes. He imagines coming here night after night, recognizing the mausoleums, getting familiar with all the paths. It sounds stable.

“Do you like it?” Dean asks. “The whole Slayer thing.” 

Buffy wrinkles her nose adorably at him. “I’m not sure like is the word I’d choose. What else would I do, though? Not like I could just walk away from it. I tried, once. The weird follows me wherever I go.” 

“Sorry, if you don’t want me to follow you any more I can just…” 

She laughs at that. Dean feels butterflies in his stomach, like he’s just a middle schooler with a crush. It’s been a minute since he put actual effort into flirting with somebody, beyond the easy one-liners. Dean fiddles with the stake she gave him, twirling it in his fingers, trying to keep an eye on his surroundings instead of just staring at Buffy. 

“Sometimes I wonder,” she says softly. “Y’know? Like, why me?” 

“You’re basically a superhero,” Dean says. She can probably tell how hard he’s geeking out about it. “That’s what heroes do.” 

“It’s not just that, though! Like… I was bored out of my mind trying to be normal.” 

Dean laughs. “Normal was a disaster.” 

“So even if the weird wasn’t following me, I’d go find the monsters myself. Who does that?” 

“Crazy people,” Dean agrees. “I can’t imagine doing anything else, though. Never gonna have a normal job, never gonna have a normal relationship, and yet.” 

“So you’re not - there’s no relationship?” she asks, exaggeratedly casual.  

“Nah.” Dean tries to hide his grin, and then he asks cautiously, “What’s up with you and Spike?” 

She stops dead, mouth open, staring at him. “Wait. Oh god. Please don’t tell me Faith is already running her mouth, I told her -” 

“No, it’s cool, I just… guessed, earlier,” Dean says sheepishly. “Don’t worry, I don’t think anybody else noticed.” 

Buffy makes a face and rolls her eyes, and they start walking again. “It’s complicated, the… thing with Spike. It’s definitely not a relationship though.” She stresses that last bit, and Dean really shouldn’t feel relieved, at that, but he does. 

“Isn’t it always complicated?” 

Buffy sighs. “There’s the whole undead creature of the night thing, for starters, which. Oddly enough, seems to be a type for me?” 

“Yeah?” 

Something must show on his face, because Buffy frowns. “Oh, Jesus, don’t tell me you’re some sort of demon too.” 

“Would that help my chances?” Dean asks wryly. “Cause I kinda used to be.” 

She stares for a second. “You’re joking, right?” 

“Really not.” 

There’s a moment where she’s clearly deciding whether she wants to go there, but then a familiar voice rings out behind them and interrupts: “Thought you were heading home, pretty boy.” 

Dean turns, grinning in spite of himself. “Change of plans.”  

“Lucky us,” Spike drawls. “Mind if I join you for a walk, pet?” 

“No,” Dean answers, just as Buffy lets out a resigned, “Kinda.”  

Spike catches up to them and slings an arm around Dean’s waist, pulling him against his side. Buffy lets out a huff, but she’s laughing too. 

“Are you really trying to make me jealous?” she asks Spike.  

“Is it working?” 

Dean disentangles himself and looks back and forth between the two of them. “Yeah, this is obviously healthy.” 

Buffy laughs, but Spike just retorts, “Like you would know a healthy attachment pattern if it bit you in the ass.” 

Dean considers protesting, but he doesn’t really have a leg to stand on there. 

“Guess it’s in the job description. Are we gonna go fight some monsters, or what?” 

“Yeah, let’s go find the monsters,” Buffy says, grinning at Dean. “That’s what heroes do, right?”  

***

Sam zones out of the discussion around the time Cas and Giles start talking comparative theology through the millennia. He slouches back on the couch and watches them fondly as Cas answers question after question. His eyelids feel heavy and he’s comfortable, and even though he knows he should take the opportunity to learn more about this totally new Earth, all he really wants to do is sit, and breathe, and rest. 

Cas and Giles end up heading back to Giles’s house for tea and… something about an old book of etchings? Sam can’t really follow Giles’s breathless, excited rambling. He waves them off, thinking that he might actually go to sleep early, for once. 

Sam goes to the kitchen, chugs a glass of water and then fills another, and he just stands there for a moment, one hip leaning against the counter as he looks around. It’s such a normal house. Even on their most domestic days, they’re still in a bunker. Must be nice to have a little bit of normalcy, no matter how crazy life gets. There’s faint music and the occasional giggle from upstairs, but otherwise, the house is quiet. 

Of course, just as he has that thought, the front door slams open and someone shouts, “Yo, B! Ready to go?” 

“She went out already,” Sam says, bemused. 

He gets an impression of red lips, dark hair, and leather as the girl closes the door behind herself, moving whirlwind-quick. She plants her feet (loudly, in big stompy combat boots) and crosses her arms, looking at Sam suspiciously. Neither of them move for a second.  

“I’m Faith,” she announces eventually. “Who the fuck are you, why the fuck are you in B’s kitchen, and where the fuck is she?” 

“Sam, and… it’s a long story. She’s out patrolling with my brother, they left about an hour ago.” 

Faith seems to make some sort of decision about him, and suspicion turns to mischief as she gives him a broad grin. “If your brother looks anything like you, can’t blame the girl for ditchin’ me.” 

Sam’s mouth twitches as he tries to hold back a smile, and he takes a sip of water to cover it. 

“Aww, you shy?” Faith teases. Her voice is low and raspy, kind of absurdly sexy, and she clearly knows it. “Must be one of those nice guys I’ve heard so much about.” 

Sam doesn’t answer. He watches Faith stalk toward him. 

She’s a fucking force of nature, Sam can already tell, all aggression and attitude as she comes at him with a challenge in her eyes. He doesn’t move when she gets up in his space, looking Sam up and down like she’s inspecting him. He has a feeling she’s used to people backing away before they let her get this close. 

“Sam, huh? What brings you to Sunnydale?” 

“Just passing through,” Sam says calmly. “What about you?” 

“How do you know I’m not from around here?” she asks, looking up at him coyly. 

Sam doesn’t dignify that with a response, just smirks and waits. She takes a step back and leans against the counter, mirroring his pose. Her eyes are sparkling. 

“Fair enough. I’m a Slayer, figured I’d stick around in Sunnydale and help B for a while. Always seems to be somethin’ around here that needs its ass kicked.” 

Sam cocks his head to the side, considering her. “So you fight vampires?” 

“And whatever else is askin’ for a fight,” she retorts. “Why, is your brother a vampire?” 

“What?” 

“Buffy’s got a type. A demonic kinda type, if you know what I’m sayin’. Don’t worry, I won’t stake him.” 

Sam laughs. Figures. “I wasn’t worried. Just curious if the superpowers are all they’re cracked up to be.” 

“You better believe it,” Faith says proudly. “Strength, speed… stamina.” She says the last with a sly, unsubtle smirk, watching Sam to gauge his reaction. 

“Show me,” he challenges. He doesn’t specify which one he means, and Faith raises one eyebrow. 

“Right here? I figured you’d be the candlelight and Al Green type.” 

Sam smiles. She’s not the first person to make that assumption. 

The first punch is light, and he lets her see it coming; she dodges it easily, without so much as blinking. Sam’s left hand snakes out, lightning-fast this time, and she sidesteps neatly, grabbing his wrist instead and holding his arm in place. She’s stronger than he expected, and she’s grinning like this is the most fun she’s had all week. 

“Sure about this? I wouldn’t want to hurt you,” she says, sugary-sweet. 

The next punch is in earnest. She blocks it, throws one of her own, and then it’s a blur for a moment, a flurry of blows one after another, none of them landing. Neither of them are moving their feet much, trapped in the narrow space between the counter and the kitchen table; they’re just testing each other. 

“Not bad,” Sam admits. 

“Right back atcha.” 

She takes a couple steps backward, out into the open space, and Sam follows, watching closely. This time she lets loose with a flashy spin-jump-kick thing like something out of a cheesy action movie, and Sam’s laughing as he ducks. 

“Points for style, but not for substance,” he teases. 

She comes back at him twice as hard and almost gets him this time, but then he snatches her wrists and slams her back against the wall with a thunk that’s a whole lot louder than he expected. They both wince and freeze. 

“Everything okay?” Willow yells from upstairs.

Charlie’s pissy voice adds, “Please don’t tell me that was a monster.” 

“Just tripped,” Sam shouts back. He looks down at Faith, taking a half-step closer so that there’s maybe an inch of space between their bodies. He’s still got her wrists pinned over her head. She’s definitely not trying to get away. He has a feeling she could, easily, if she wanted to. 

“Not so nice after all, then,” she purrs, looking up at him through her lashes. 

Sam shakes his head slightly. “Not so much. You giving up, then?” 

“Not a fuckin’ chance. Just thinkin’ maybe we should have the rematch back at my place. You know, in case you ‘trip’ again.” 

“Sounds like a good idea.” 

***

Probably good they only stayed for a day, Dean thinks, looking around the room. Nobody, from either world, looks particularly happy about the departure, but they’ve all said goodbye often enough that they don’t draw it out. Charlie gives Willow one last little wave, and then she hits the button. Everything goes fuzzy. 

It’s disorienting, for a moment, but the bunker comes into focus around them. After the dizziness has passed, Dean gives Charlie a wordless hug. 

“I’m gonna go read a book with pictures in it,” she says glumly, and shuffles away. “And eat ice cream.” 

“Research time, I guess,” Sam says. “Back to work.” 

Cas heads to the kitchen to make some coffee as Sam starts flipping through his notes. Dean settles down at the table and looks at the nearest book without really seeing it. He feels fucking off, almost sad, as if he could’ve possibly gotten attached to that other world in less than twenty-four hours. 

“That was… kinda a nice universe, right?” he says. “I dunno. There was something about it.” 

Sam gives him a knowing look. “Yeah.” 

“Ever wish we could just… stay somewhere else?” Dean says, and he can’t keep the bitter note out of his voice. “I mean, why do we keep coming back to this world? What’s so great about it?” 

“It’s ours,” Sam says, with a shrug. “I mean, the other one wasn’t our responsibility, you know? Of course it was nice, not having to worry, but… this one’s ours. Gotta take care of it.” 

Dean twirls a pencil between his fingers and wishes it was a stake. He smiles, slightly, as he remembers. 

That’s what heroes do. 

.

.

.

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[dreadwulf]

*sigh* Okay, I just had to write this all out to get it off my chest and hopefully get over it and move on.

People tell me I look just like Brienne of Tarth. I’m tall, blonde, broad-shouldered, and homely. I get mistaken for a man, even when I have long hair that goes all down my back, even wearing a dress. I’ve gotten used to it.

My earliest memory of school is lying on the ground while a crowd of boys are kicking and hitting me, because I was an ugly freak. Girls grow earlier than boys do, you see. I was the tallest kid in my elementary, and I was hated for it. I endured constant abuse. When I got a little bit older, and I was almost 6 feet tall when I was 12, the abuse mostly turned away from being physical and into emotional and psychological. Girls followed me into the bathroom, laughing at how my clothes didn’t fit, how awkward I was, how masculine. Boys no longer hit me, just ignored or ridiculed me. Because it was the 80s I heard constant references to the East German olympic team, how I looked like a member. I didn’t understand the references at the time, but I knew it was yet another reference to how I didn’t measure up as a woman. Much later I learned about how those women were dosed with testosterone by the government against their will - a terrible story that the people around me regarded as a joke.  There’s nothing funnier than a manish woman, apparently.

When I was young I was undatable, never considered an option to anyone. I never kissed anyone until I was in my twenties, and was a virgin until I was 25. It’s bizarre when I look back now at photos of myself, because I’m expecting a hideous monster, and all I see is an ordinary girl - a little taller, broad-shouldered and plain, not pretty, but ordinary. But it all got into my head, you see. Inside I still feel like a freak. Undesireable. Unloved.

I started watching Game of Thrones from the first episode (mainly because I’m a big fan of Peter Dinklage!), and I was intrigued. Intrigued, but not obsessed, not yet. I’m a grown woman and I don’t have time for that sort of thing. But the first time Brienne of Tarth took off her helmet onscreen and I saw her face, I literally pointed at the screen and said out loud, “that’s me!”

Never in my life have I reacted that way before. Never before, and never since.

Granted, the actress who plays her is a great beauty, but the character of Brienne I latched onto instantly and felt a deep kinship with, especially after reading her story in the books. How as a child she was a girl very much like Sansa, who loved songs and romance and dancing and other girlish things, but the adults around her told her she was too ugly. Her septa told her no one would ever love or want her. She was shamed for wearing dresses and trying to be feminine, was told she was embarassing herself because her body was not womanly enough. She was made to feel like a failure just for existing, for being umarriagable, for causing the end of her house by being so ugly that no one wanted her. But instead of just crumbling and disappearing, Brienne of Tarth took up a sword and decided to make something else of herself. She wanted to help people, she wanted to contribute something to the world, and she decided to find a good lord and serve them as a knight. Brienne is brave and caring and defends the weak and wants to protect the people she loves. Brienne is a hero. She is a hero while not being tiny and delicate and pretty but large, sturdy, and ugly. In that she is completely unique, and completely wonderful.

A lot of old wounds opened up, watching that story and reading A Feast For Crows. Old issues I thought I was over all came back up. I identified powerfully with having your femininity stolen from you because your body is different, with being abused for not being woman enough, and with longing for love in a world that hates you. I remembered being hated, constantly and visciously hated, just for existing. I relived the bone-deep belief that I would spend my entire life alone, because no one would ever want me, a belief that was constantly validated by the actual people around me. I became painfully aware of the sense that I still have to this day of being constantly too big, too loud, too much, that has me slouching and shrinking and taking up less space and whispering timidly and the effect that those things have had on my life and career to this day.

And watching Brienne’s story, I saw how someone can endure the same things I did, and keep trying. Can keep struggling to succeed, and even fall in love. That was the most amazing thing of all, you see. This woman on television who looked like me, she was a love interest! She had her own romantic storyline! I could hardly believe it at first. I watched through my fingers trying to talk myself out of hoping. Because this never happens - an ugly woman, a masculine woman, is never desirable in fiction, never important enough to the story to be a love interest, and never worthy of romance. Yet here it was, it was happening right in front of my eyes.

Her love story with Jaime Lannister was a competely unique thing on television. An ugly woman with a beautiful man. A bond of deep respect and admiration, with undeniable sexual tension. Here were two people who can understand each other because they have both been hated for reasons beyond their control, who sought refuge in honor and knighthood and were loathed for it. Brienne understood how hatred can warp a person, make them someone they never meant to be, just the way she herself had been made to harden and close off to the world. She saw the person that Jaime might have been, if things had gone differently, and the man he could still become. Jaime for his part saw worth in her when everyone around him called her ridiculous, even though she was his enemy. He still knew that she was more deserving than any knight in Westeros, and believed in her when no one else in the world did. He gave her a sword and a quest and even a squire, lost his hand defending her, and he put his own life on the line to save hers.

Jaime openly adored her, looked at her like she was the most wonderful thing in the world, and I have never seen anything like that. A woman who looks like me, being looked at like that. Do you know what that felt like for me? Can you imagine it?

This story meant a lot to me, is what I’m saying. It was healing for me. I believed in that story, and I expected that even if there wouldn’t be a happy ending, at least there would be that respect for the character, and that she would be taken seriously by the narrative and her story would be completed in some fashion.

And then they aired Season 8.

In season 8 we learn that not only did the show never bother to adapt her storylines from the books, where she is slated to face Lady Stoneheart and the Brotherhood Without Banners, they gave her no story in replacement. She has no material impact on the storyline of the show, she simply doesn’t matter in any way. The only major storyline they kept from the books was her romance with Jaime Lannister, and in Season 8 they destroy that story in the cruelest possible way.

After emphasizing that Brienne is an adult virgin, they give her one scene with what we thought was her love interest, where they share one kiss. One. Onscreen within seconds of Brienne being naked Jaime looks dissatisfied and unhappy, and in the same episode, leaves her to go back to his traditionally beautiful ex. Leaves her crying and pleading with him to stay. And then her story ends, except for a brief bookend where she writes an entry in the White Book showing she still loved him, even though he abandoned and betrayed her in the worst way possible.

Right now I’d really like to know if anyone involved with this show ever gave a moment’s thought to what it would be like to watch that happen. After years of patiently waiting to get the love story we were promised for five seasons, instead, to humiliate and punish Brienne for daring to think she deserved love. Did anyone ever consider what that would feel like for women like me? If they did think about it, I hope they enjoyed the hurt they caused me, because the way this story played out felt outright malicious and hateful. They could have given me one tender moment, one declaration of love or affection, just to know what it would look like to see that onscreen for a woman like me. Instead they deliberately withheld that. And then went out of their way to invalidate absolutely everything about the storyline we had been watching, as if it had never happened, as if we had imagined it all, and been foolish to believe in it in the first place.

Yes, I know, it’s only a story, but stories matter. We wouldn’t put nearly the effort and investment into them that we do as a culture if they didn’t. My story has never mattered before, and it meant something to me over the last 8 years that someone was telling it. So was this ending intended as a deliberate slap in my face, or was that collateral damage that the show simply did not care about?

The messages sent by our media are sometimes unintentional, but they are usually given at least some consideration. So I wonder what sort of message was trying to be sent by giving the gender non-comforming woman who dared to open her heart an immediate rejection, and have her then swear to serve a celibate organization for the rest of her life? Giving up her inheritance, her island, her own sworn vows to Sansa, and everything else she cared about? Am I meant to regard this as a happy ending, I wonder? Her feelings and dreams don’t matter, but hey, she has a position in the small council, so Girl Power! Was there a single woman anywhere involved in this production who might have pointed out how awful this is?

I understand that what’s done is done and there’s no fixing this, and complaining about it is pointless. But what I really want, what I wish for, is for somebody to confirm that at least at some point this was a love story, and that for whatever reason, network interference or showrunner decision or whatever it was, it was changed at the last minute. Just tell me that at some point the intent was real. To know that would be helpful. Because right now I feel like a stupid chump for ever believing that anybody wanted a woman like me to have a love story, and you cannot imagine how much that hurts.

[reconditarmonia]

Dear Equivalent Exchange Author

Hi! Thank you for writing for me! I’ve just completed my first watch of FMA:B and am obsessed, and very excited for the first single-fandom exchange I’ve done.

I’m reconditarmonia here and on AO3 (and have been since LJ days, but my LJ is locked down and I only have a DW to see locked things). I have anon messaging off, but mods should be able to contact me if you have any questions.

Riza and Roy | Ishval | Briggs | Olivier/Izumi

General likes:

– Relationships that aren’t built on romance or attraction. They can be romantic or sexual as well, but my favorite ships are all ones where it would still be interesting or compelling if the romantic component never materialized.

– Loyalty kink! Trust, affectionate or loving use of titles, gestures of loyalty, replacing one’s situational or ethical judgment with someone else’s, risking oneself (physically or otherwise) for someone else, not doing so on their orders. Can be commander-subordinate or comrades-in-arms.

– Heists, or other stories where there’s a lot of planning and then we see how the plan goes.

– Femslash, complicated or intense relationships between women, and female-centric gen. Women doing “male” stuff (possibly while crossdressing).

– Stories whose emotional climax or resolution isn’t the sex scene, if there is one.

– Uniforms/costumes/clothing.

– Stories, history, and performance. What gets told and how, what doesn’t get told or written down, behavior in a society where everyone’s consuming media and aware of its tropes, how people create their personas and script their own lines.

– I have no idea how a Simoun AU/fusion would work for any of the (military-related, I guess) prompts, but if you know that anime, hell, go for it.

General DNW: rape/dubcon, torture, other creative gore; unrequested AUs, including “same setting, different rules” AUs such as soulmates/soulbonds; PWP; food sex; embarrassment; focus on pregnancy; Christmas/Christian themes; focus on unrequested canon or non-canon ships.

A note: I’m generally fine with “/” ships where the fic doesn’t contain a kiss, overt declaration of love, etc. I’ll trust that you wrote it with shippy intent and don’t expect you to force in something that wouldn’t fit the story.

—

Female Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye; Riza Hawkeye & Roy Mustang

I love the loyalty kink in this ship - the trust and competence and stoically hidden but very very intense feelings, the willingness to risk oneself or the other person, or to stake a lot on the other person’s competence (and willingness to hurt or sacrifice the other person because their shared cause says it’s right, too, all the times that comes up), the fighting together in tandem. I have an unbelievable need for f!Roy fic that plays up all the dynamics I love in canon: a dangerous mission (or intelligence-collecting situation) where their deep familiarity/trust/awareness of each other’s presence and fighting style and communication come into play (god, that bit in canon where Hawkeye shoots two guys right over Mustang’s shoulder), or where they worry about each other’s safety? I love the intimacy of their work relationship and personal history, on levels from casual to very intense, and would love it with sexual tension in how they notice and appreciate each other's physicality and presence and competence (hands??? muscles?)

Also potentially interesting: some kind of document or documents (newspaper, history book) or other outsider perspective on President Mustang and her decades-long professional relationship with Riza Hawkeye, so close they even live together/travel together/entertain guests together, neither of them ever married, that sort of thing.

I’d also be up for canon-gendered fic with absurd levels of platonic smarm: cuddling (for warmth or otherwise), bed-sharing for plot reasons, helping with clothes due to injury or for a fancy event, quasi-domestic working together, etc. as well as with the said loyalty kink.

When reading genderswapped characters, I have no strong preference for character names, with a slight preference for sticking with their canon names; it’s up to you whether you want to justify any resulting names that would be unusual for women or just gloss over it.

in conclusion: loyalty kink.

DNW: unrequested ships for these characters, including passing mentions thereof.

—

Scar & Original Ishvalan Character(s); Miles & Original Ishvalan Character(s); Scar & Miles

One of the things that really hits close to home about canon, for me as a Jewish fan whose relatives went through the Holocaust, is the Ishval plot; I like that it’s important and not just backstory or setup for other stuff, and that there are multiple characters who are Ishvalan or of Ishvalan descent, rather than a genocide plot being a convenient reason to have one or no Ishvalan perspectives in the story. I’d really be interested in reading anything about, well, what do you do during or in the wake of a genocide: Miles’s seemingly increasing identification with his Ishvalan background; one or both of them in the post-canon rebuilding; what is is to be Amestrian *and* Ishvalan; what Scar (or OCs) are able to keep from their culture and community and what was lost (and what evolves), whether that’s in “Amestrian” cities and towns during or after canon, or in post-canon Ishval; saving the testimonies or the culture. Doesn’t need to be angsty if that’s not what you’re into; indeed, surviving/building a new life/finding joy/celebrating one’s culture and heritage after that kind of thing are meaningful too.

DNW: Please don’t give Scar a name; I personally am fine eliding any narration issues with “how would he refer to himself in his own POV?” in my brain. I would also prefer that Ishvalan culture be worldbuilt rather than borrowed wholesale from a real-life culture.

—

Briggs Soldiers & Officers; Olivier Mira Armstrong & Miles

I love the entire Briggs dynamic and its mix of heartwarming and id-satisfying loyalty kink. (The watch! Buccaneer handing Olivier a clean pair of gloves after she kills Raven! Constant and deeply sincere saluting) Any combination of Briggs characters (Olivier? Miles? Buccaneer? Falman? The doctor? Engineer Bobby? OCs?), whether in ordinary or extraordinary circumstances - daily life in the fort, a battle with Drachma where they work together seamlessly, surviving a storm or the typical winter cold - would make me happy, but I especially love those shows of loyalty. Entire Briggs Is Gay would also non-ironically be neat, as would other ways of exploring the idea of Briggs being a united wall made up of people with a lot of secrets and/or racial and gender differences. I’ve also requested Olivier & Miles specifically and am basically interested in the same sort of thing (feel free to pull ideas from my other Miles requests as well). Olivier has no patience for anyone’s shit and I adore her.

—

Olivier Mira Armstrong/Izumi Curtis

So competent! So angry! They hit it off as soon as they meet! (Olivier’s previously aware of that woman who stole from Briggs for a month before she took command, but not by name/face.) It’d be hot!

DNW: infidelity angst or poly negotiation; I'd rather just tacitly assume Izumi and Sig have an open relationship.

[221bcumberb]

“A female Sherlock? Why not. I don’t care. Sherlockina… it’s coming soon.” The question had arisen because I had been asking Benedict Cumberbatch about his views on the casting of Jodie Whittaker as the first lady Doctor Who – the Timelord saga until recently overseen by Sherlock’s showrunner Steven Moffat. And for the record, Cumberbatch is all for Whittaker in the role. “It’s an alien so why can’t it be a woman?” he says. “I don’t speak as a fan as I just speak as someone who wants to see Jodie Whittaker’s performance as the Doctor. I think she’s an extraordinary actress and we’re lucky culturally to have got her to agree to do it, let alone any debate about whether it’s right or wrong. Just go for it… Let’s see what happens.”

But back to Sherlock, and underlying Cumberbatch’s relaxed attitude to the gender of the person playing the detective with the pipe and deerstalker, I believe I detect an actor who is perhaps subconsciously letting go of the role that made his name. “Maybe…. maybe”, is his not unexpected reply to the eternal question of whether there will be more of the globally popular updating of Arthur Conan Doyle. And while there almost will be further episodes at some point, there is also little doubt that the 41-year-old actor’s energies are flowing in a new direction. In short, he’s become a producer.

SunnyMarch TV was launched by Cumberbatch and associates in 2013, France’s Studiocanal buying a 20 per cent stake last year, and its first major project is about to be seen on BBC1. The Child in Time is an adaptation of Ian McEwan’s 1987 novel centred on a grieving children’s author, Stephen Lewis, whose toddler daughter has been kidnapped from a supermarket two years earlier. However, it’s rather more lofty and metaphysical – as you’d expect from any Cumberbatch-McEwan axis – than the burgeoning canon of more visceral TV thrillers (The Missing and Thirteen on the BBC alone) about abducted youngsters. “Despite the depths it plumbs and the emotional trauma at the centre of it, it’s a story about salvation and hope and trying to build a future that accepts and encompasses the loss of that child”, says Cumberbatch with his characteristic flood of articulateness. “It’s almost an examination of childhood and time and what happens in trauma with time but also reflections and how the conscious and sub-conscious can slide… it got quite a lot going for it other than just that horrific, horrific central premise.”

McEwan is having something of a screen moment, what with the upcoming movie of his novella, On Chesil Beach, and now this – the first TV version of one of the author’s books. Cumberbatch appeared in Joe Wright’s 2007 film of McEwan’s Atonement, but this particular script landed on his producer’s desk. That he himself took the central role of Stephen Lewis was not simply because he wanted to play him but because starring in his own productions is helping get his company off the ground – “To bring attention to the material and get it funded”, as he puts it. Playing an ordinary person, albeit in extraordinary circumstances, the role is also something of a departure for Cumberbatch, a go-to actor for real-life geniuses (Alan Turing in The Imitation Game or Thomas Edison in the upcoming The Current War), arrogant fictional brainy types (Sherlock, Steven Strange), or troubled and/or ambivalent characters like Julian Assange or Hamlet. Cumberbatch would never claim to be an ‘everyman’. “It’s a part that is a million miles away from a lot of the stuff that I’ve done… especially the more famous one on telly”, he says, [referring to Sherlock]. “It was a challenge. I was bringing a lot more of myself as I sound and as I move through the world. It felt quite naked at times, and there were moments when I thought ‘am I doing enough?’. “I wanted Stephen to be close to myself, so I brought a lot of my own wardrobe in because I wanted to feel it was me rather than someone else I was putting on every day. It’s not often you get into a role by getting out of a role.” On the afternoon we meet, Cumberbatch’s wardrobe consists of navy chinos and trainers, white t-shirt and open grey linen shirt – the same outfit, I can’t help but notice, that’s he’s wearing later when he’s snapped by paparazzi as (according to Mailonline) “he enjoyed a date night with wife Sophie Hunter”.

Cumberbatch and theatre director Hunter were married in 2015 after having known each other for 17 years. The couple have two sons, two-year-old Christopher, and Hal, who was born in March. Did parenthood make the role of grieving father in The Child in Time more difficult for the actor? “I don’t think you have to be a parent to understand”, he says. “It wasn’t a case of ‘Oh, great, I can get my teeth into something whereby I’ll be emotionally wrought because I’m a new dad for a second time’. It just happened that way.” He didn’t take the part home with him then? “I try not to do that whatever I’m doing. Those are very separate spaces for me, and you have to take care of yourself. In a way, you’re literally kind of breaking down for a whole day but that’s what the drama demands; it makes you realise what the pain must be like for people who actually experience it. It’s unfathomable, so you don’t really want to bring that into your own domestic space.” Hunter is joining her husband as a producer on one of SunnyMarch’s new projects, a film adaptation of Megan Hunter’s eco-apocalyptic debut novel The End We Start From (“a stunning tale of motherhood”, according to Cumberbatch). Other movies on his production slate are an adaptation of Matt Haig’s How to Stop Time, Geoffrey Household’s 1939 adventure classic, Rogue Male, and Rio, which will co-star Cumberbatch and Jake Gyllenhaal, while TV dramas in pre-production include screen versions of Edward St Aubyn’s Melrose novels. For reasons given above, what connects the productions, apart from their origins in literature, is that they all star Cumberbatch. But what was it like for The Child in Time to also wear the producer’s hat? “It’s different because you’re there at the inception of the idea and just thinking who would be right to direct it… I’ve never been at that stage of things before”, he says. “I really, really enjoyed it. But it’s not without its challenges, especially watching the work sooner than you should as an actor, in a very raw state to then give feedback about what you feel as a producer. That was tricky.” And watching and then critiquing himself? “It’s horrible and very peculiar – the way you look, the way you do things, it’s just horrible. It’s full of hate but there’s nothing better than the self-critic in your head for brutality. “It’s a first time, we’ll see how it works”, he continues. “Everyone had a great experience making it which is a testament to us doing something right as a production team.” The cast of The Child in Time also includes Trainspotting-to-Boardwalk Empire actress Kelly Macdonald (playing Lewis’s estranged wife), Stephen Campbell Moore and Saskia Reeves. Stephen Butchard adapted it. “I’ve been a McEwan fan since I was old enough to kind of understand stuff… I would read the book almost the minute it came out”, says Cumberbatch. “Atonement was the first book [of his] I read and funnily ended up in a few years later. And The Cement Garden was first the first production I went to. There was a production of it being made when I studied it [at Manchester University] and I thought about auditioning for it and then I thought ‘I can’t do that… I’m not a good enough actor.” The Child in Time was one McEwan novel that evaded his omnivorous consumption, however. “I hadn’t read it”, says Cumberbatch. “And there will be expectations from those who know the novel even though it was released in the late 80s. We’ve re-contextualised it and set it in the present day [because] it’s partly a critique of the Thatcherite era.” In the meantime, in another departure for the actor (“Unlike any character I’ve played before”, he promises) it was announced last week that Cumberbatch will be playing the father of gay bare-knuckle-fighter Mikey Walsh in the film Gypsy Boy. And with so much going on you might think that he wouldn’t have time to make another film in the all-star Avengers superhero series, let alone three. However two more of the multiplex blockbusters in the role of Steven Strange have been filmed, with another in pre-production. “I’m very late to the party but it’s just amazing to be part of it. Anything’s possible especially as I can go like that”, he says, clicking his fingers, “and appear anywhere”. He might equally have been describing his future prospects.

[tallia671gaming-blog]

3 VIDEO GAME Technics You Never Learned

Computer Gaming Blog

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[onlylovekpop]

I’m Back!

Hello, everyone. Sorry I’ve been MIA for a little while. The past few weeks have been a little hectic for me. I’m closing drabble requests now and have received lots of good ideas. Thank you to all of those who submitted! Also, two of the requests have turned into oneshots (this is a rare thing, but sometimes I get carried away and it happens lol.) The oneshots will be a pirate!au with some smut for Jimin and a dance camp smut with Yugyeom. I’m also finishing up my first Jungkook smut oneshot that I started working on ages ago and involves Netflix and chill. Hehe. Hope you’re all doing well and please look forward to the upcoming drabbles and oneshots! :)

(replies below the cut beware im drinking vodka while i answer to make my responses more interesting hehe (actually im getting as drunk as i can to deal with my vengeful uterus which is very unhappy i have not conceived any spawn this month and is giving me cramps from hell) you may notice my spelling grammar and punctuation get worse as you read please dont hold it against me)

anonymous asked: Hi Leigh we haven't heard of you since you mentioned having knee surgery the next day and I had this really bad feeling I hope you are ok? For some reason I am genuinely concerned and I don't know why so I hope everything went well??

Yes, all is well! I healed in pretty good time and am already out and about again. It’s a surgery I’ve had before so I knew what to expect and nothing out of the ordinary happened. Thank you for checking on me. Sorry if I made you worry :)

omg-mystarx-neoctech asked: Hell YES JOOHEON.

I SAY THIS ON A DAILY BASIS!

anonymous asked: Can I just say I fucking love the layout and look of your blog. Also I just read one of your smuts and holy shit im deceased.

Thank you! I’ve been revamping some of the pages but I only have a few of them done, so a few things may be blank at the moment. I changed it so fics are listed by member instead of type I hope that’s better but if anyone has opinions on the layout please let me know :)

anonymous asked: OKAY BUT THAT JOOHEON SMUT WAS FUCKING DELICIOUSLY SINFUL. I'M HAVING HEART PROBLEMS.

Jooheon himself is deliciously sinful tbh. I have heart palpitations every time I see a pic of him wearing tight pants. Or just pants in general. i aint never seen such pretty thighs before

neon-flamingos asked: I read Rhythm and omg i criedddddd it was so good i just can imagine Jooheon saying all those dirty thingssss my vayjayjay cries

look i recently saw that vid of him speaking english and his accent is so good which means i can totally hear him in my head saying all them naughty english things this is not good what have i done my lady parts also cry HELP

anonymous asked: Everyone is talking about the Jooheon smut and I'm here still crying because of how hard Chained up hit me

oh god that was not my best work but im glad you enjoyed it the thing never got edited i hope its not a hot mess haha sorry markiepooh but it still got the job done i think hehehe

anonymous asked: A part of me regrets reading Underworld AF....but it was such a good read too... that last chapter HURT but it was a good hurt

oh no dont regret reading it! that makes me sad! its a long ass fic i dont want you to get to the end of it and think holy shit i wasted so much time reading that horror flick i tried to bring it full circle in the end im glad you thought it was a good read i panicked for a second haha

honeyheonie asked: HOLY FUCK!!!! I have sinned. 'Rythm' was 👌👌👌👌👌

me too darling ;) thank ya

anonymous asked: Do you have a quote or prompt list we could use? :)

i do not. i leave it up to you guys that way you have lots to choose from

topaz-and-turquoise asked: For some reason, I only just got to binge-read the last 3 chapters of Underworld. Leigh. LEIGH. YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF BTS-GOT7 CROSSOVERS. YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF CROSSOVERS. THE QUEEN OF ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AU'S. OF ALL AU'S. YOU ARE THE BEST AT WRITING TENSION AND HEART-WRENCHING SCENES AND THE COMPLEXITY OF PEOPLE AND JUST HOLY FRICK YOU'RE AMAZING. THANK YOU FOR THIS. I KNOW YOU ALREADY KNOW BUT THIS IS MY FAVOURITE KPOP FANFIC OF ALL TIME. I'M SAD IT'S OVER BUT I'M SO SATISFIED. YOU ARE THE BEST.

she calls ME QUEEN! thank you thank you I SQUEAL A LOT AT THIS im actually sad its over too. but im content with it. I HOPE IT IS FOREVER YOUR FAVE you stuck with me through the whole thing thank you i love you

statetheobvious04 asked: I've long been a follower for your underworld series and Jesus christ it's one of the best series of read ever. The storyline was so gripping and full of love and loss that by the time I finished the last chapter my chest was heavy and I nearly cried. Idk how you did it but I feel like I've personally lived through minas insane and perilous journey and felt every single emotion as if it were my own. It's een a while since I've read the earlier chapters but I feel like if I do il start 1/2 2/2 sobbing. You are such an amazing and talented writer that this story deserves to be developed into a book or movie but eve then those may not do it justice. But honestly, thank you so much for sharing and writing. And I’m so happy mina finally got the life she deserves and that everyone else managed to find peace in Iceland 💜💜💜💜

THIS MAKES ME HAPPPY YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW CAN I DESCRIBE MY JOY AT THIS MESSAGE you make me cry thank you for loving mina and thank you for supporting the story and thank you for telling me how it felt to read it i love you <3

anonymous asked: hi leigh! I have a question. I hope it doesn't come across the wrong way, I'm just curious! May I ask why you're not taking exo requests?

you’re good honey :) honestly im just not in an exo mood at the moment. i still write for them i still even have a baekhyun oneshot in my drafts idk im just not feeling like writing for them for drabbles at the moment if that makes sense

anonymous asked: Do you still open the drabble request?

they are closed now.

anonymous asked: I'm a Yoongi at heart but your story Underworld made my heart 'boom boom'. Seriously this is the best mafia /zombie apocalypse AU I have ever read and I read a lot of fan fiction. Keep up the good work. PS: Some drabbles based on Underworld wouldn't hurt. PSS: If you don't understand the heart boom boom reference , go see the latest Buzzfeed interview of BTS.

i can’t help but only hear got7′s boom boom boom though haha im down for underworld drabbles i think i mentioned before that any gang!au drabbles i do will be in the underworld universe before the zombie outbreak so far i only have the one for bambam i would link it but im too tipsy for something that level right now sorry :D

anonymous asked: I fucking love your angst writings, they get me emotional aha

thank you i love angst i like toying with emotions ehehe

anonymous asked: Underworld is amazing!!! One of the best stories I've read, even though it has me crying from Paris all the way to the end.😭😭😭😭 You done good. 😁

we dont talk about paris haha jk that one hurt too much thank you darling that its one of the best you’ve read means the world to me :)

anonymous asked: How can you write like thattttt!!!! I adore you. I'll always be your follower 💖

AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU and i’ll always be here! i promise <3

anonymous asked: Who is that in your header gif?

It’s Suga :)

thewriterpixie asked: *squeals* I just finished reading the Suga father/daughter date drabble! It made my day!

Thank you! I love that one so much :)

anonymous asked:  Okay I was reading Wake Up and Play with Me and for some reason it reminded me of their song Paradise?¿¿ Now whenever I hear it I'm gonna associate it with this smut xD

Ooh i like the sound of that! i really love Paradise but I think Sign is my favorite on the album but how do you get your question marks upside down i thought the room was spinning for a second i kid you not lol

anonymous asked: Your Jooheon smut got me looking at Jooheony at a different way now 😏 thank you for writing such a quality one shot! You're one of the best of the best!

YAS come to the jooheon side we have thick thighs and adorable dimples you will not regret this ;)

taecmekai asked: hope you are ok and recovering well from your knee surgery :)

i’m okay! gained a few pounds from being stuck on the couch for a few days but idgaf hehe ;) i’ll get back to yoga when i feel like it

coppertopging asked: I just finished Underworld. holy crap the emotional coaster you took me on! I read the last 7 chaps today & i couldn't stop crying. I didn't when Jae died, but his 'funeral' got me with the reactions from everyone. & then Hobi?! That was the most painful. I had to stop & pull myself together. Yoongi made me laugh a little with his delivery. My favorite part of the ending was the Jk/Yugy part. The only thing I felt was missing was more detail into Namjoon & Jin. But this story was amazing!!!

yeah hoseok was the hardest for me too. i wanted to keep anything namjin related kinda vague and open to the reader’s interpretation that’s why there wasn’t much material there but im very glad you enjoyed the story thank you :)

anonymous asked: holy fucking shit. it's 4am and i just finished reading Underworld and i'm crying so hard there's so many emotions i'm feeling. thank you so much for that masterpiece. it's the first work of yours i've read and omfg you're talented as fuck. i'm actually a bit speechless still tbh it's only fully processing to me ...hobi... he's not even my bias but i'm crying so hard i need help wow SO MUCH LOVE FOR U AND UR WRITING THO

omg i cant believe you stayed up that late to read it i wish i could do that but in my old age i dont bounce back that well anymore (i just turned 27 and am very upset about it) anyway THANK YOU this makes me very happy

danphilandstuff asked: OH MY FUCKING GOD RHYTHM WAS SO FUCKING GOOD THANK YOU SO MUCH ITS ACTUALLY HOW I IMAGINED HIM TO BE IT FELT SO REAL IT WAS ACTUALLY THE BEST FANFIC IVE EVER READ IM CURRENTLY READING YOUR MASTER LIST. you're actually such an amazing writer thank you so much (Could I request more Jooheon fics? ((If you want and have time)) )

i will never stop writing jooheon fics. you have nothing to worry about there haha. WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS THE BEST FANFIC YOUVE READ IT WAS SUCH A RAUNCHY SEX FEST I SHOULD BE ASHAMED lol just kidding no but in all seriousness THANK YOU I LOVE YOU IM GLAD YOU LOVED IT I HOPE YOU KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE MUHAHA

anonymous asked: (1/3) Hey lovely! I came across your blog today after reading your monsta x all in one shot and i just wanted to say thank you for writing something so incredible! it had me gripped from start to finish and it was honestly one of the most (2/3) well-written pieces ive ever read, I would love to be able to write at your standard one day. I cant express how grateful i am, it put me through so many emotions and i actually had tears in my eyes at one point! So yeah, apologies for this (3/3) being so long but i just wanted to express my gratitude and say that you are an amazing writer :) x

oh my goodness this was ridiculously lovely. i am very proud of All In and how it turned out. i hope to finish the sequel soon. i keep getting writers block on it and i dont know why but anyway. thank you for sending me this and im thrilled that i could write something you enjoy very much. you are too kind thank you <3

[andrewdburton]

Identity economics: Who are you? And how does it affect your spending?

“Who are you?” my cousin Duane asked me on Saturday afternoon. We'd spent the day playing nerd games together and were taking a break for pizza.

“What?” I said. I wasn't expecting a philosophical question over supper.

“I don't think you know who you are,” Duane said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I don't think you know who you are,” he repeated. “You write about money and frugality, yet you spend $200 on dinner.” Duane was referring to the fancy meal we'd had in May at a Michelin-star restaurant in France. I knew it had been bugging him, but he hadn't said anything about it until now. (And that meal cost $267.41 for the two of us, not $200.)

“You paid $1900 for your used pickup, but you don't wash it. It's filthy. You buy new clothes that you don't need, but you leave your old clothes on the floor so that your cats pee on them.” It's true. Kim and I have a cat that will, from time to time, pee on my clothes.

“You say you don't like attention, that you don't want to be a celebrity, yet you're always taking on new work that puts you in the spotlight. You're thinking of doing a course for Audible, for instance, and you're talking about doing more speaking gigs — even though you hate speaking gigs,” Duane said.

All of these things were true. I couldn't argue.

“Who are you?” Duane asked. Well, that's a mighty fine question, Duane. That's a mighty fine question.

A Digression

In 1862, French novelist Victor Hugo published Les Miserables, one of the greatest novels of the nineteenth century. Long and sprawling and full of digressions (just like Get Rich Slowly!), the book explores the many facets of human nature: the good and bad, the humorous and poignant, the ordinary and sublime.

Les Miserables wasn't popular with critics when it was released, but everybody else loved it. It sold well when it was published and continues to sell well more than 150 years later. The book has inspired several several film and television adaptations. And, of course, it's the source of one of the most successful stage musicals of all time.

Turns out PBS recently aired a new six-part Les Miserables miniseries written by the always-awesome Andrew Davies. It's on my watch list.

Although Les Miserables contains a ginormous cast of characters, two stand at the heart of the story:

Jean Valjean is the novel's protagonist. Arrested for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his sister's seven starving children, he spends nineteen years in prison (five for the original crime, fourteen more for various misdeeds). Upon parole, he assumes the identity of Monsieur Madeleine. As Madeleine, he builds two factories, becomes rich, and is appointed mayor of a small seaside town. Valjean is a good man who occasionally finds himself on the wrong side of the law.

Javert is the novel's antagonist. (It's not right to call him a villain. Nothing about him is villanous.) Born in prison to deplorable parents, he grows up to become a prison guard — then police inspector. Javert is obsessed with upholding the law, which includes pursuing and punishing Valjean for his past misdeeds. His worldview is shattered when he realizes that not all laws are moral, that sometimes the moral course is not the lawful one.

What's fascinating — mind-blowing, actually — is that Victor Hugo based both Valjean and Javert on the exact same real-life person. They're both loosely modelled on Eugène François Vidocq, a French criminal turned criminalist. (You should open that link in a separate tab for later reading. Vidocq's life is fascinating. Among other things, he's regarded as the first-ever private detective and the “father” of modern criminology.)

That's right: Both the protagonist and the antagonist of Les Miserables were inspired by the same man. And, even more mind-blowing? Vidocq was also the inspiration for Sherlock Holmes. (Go read that article!)

Who Am I?

The amazing thing (to me) is that Jean Valjean himself is two people! He is Jean Valjean, yes, but he spends years posing as Monsieur Madeleine. As the latter, he's a wealthy factory owner, he's mayor of Montreuil-sur-Mer. He is a force for good in his small world. He is, at once, both Valjean and Madeleine, just as Vidocq is at once both Valjean and Javert.

In a 2012 New Yorker piece praising “the persistent greatness” of Les Miserables, Adam Gopnik wrote, “Hugo believed in, relished, luxuriated in, contradiction — he thought that we show ourselves most truly when we are seemingly most opposed to our double natures.”

When I posted about this on Facebook in April, John from ESI Money observed that this adds a whole new meaning to the song “Who Am I?” from the musical.

“Who am I?” Valjean sings as he's forced to reveal his identity in order to save an innocent man. “Who am I? I'm Jean Valjean!”

Yes, that's true — but Jean Valjean is also police inspector Javert.

True story: I'm a devoted fan of musical theater, and “Who Am I?” is one of my favorite songs from any show. It induces frisson — it gives me goosebumps — every time I hear it. Every time.

What I like about this clever bit of character creation from Victor Hugo is how it highlights our inherent dual natures. We, as humans, are inconsistent. We are complex creatures. At the same time, we can be both good and bad. I truly believe that most of us do what is right most of the time — but each of us also sometimes makes poor choices. We do things that seem to go against who we say we are and what we believe.

In Valjean and Javert, we get to see human nature dramatized in two men forever at odds, just as we are each forever at odds with ourselves.

Me, Myself, and I

As I was walking the dog this morning, I found myself meditating on my own personal duality. I am at once the hardest working person I know…and the laziest. I am the smartest person I know…and the stupidest. I am the kindest person I know…and the meanest.

Recently, I've grown increasingly frustrated with my seeming inability to “do the right thing”. I know that there are certain actions I could take (and should take) to improve my health, to build this website, to maintain relationships with my friends. Yet I do not do these things. I actively avoid them.

Why is this?

Here's an example. I could solve a whole host of problems if I were to get regular aerobic exercise. Over the past year, I've done a fine job of strength training, but for some reason I've become allergic to sweat. I do whatever I can to avoid running or biking or otherwise increasing my heart rate.

It's not that I can't do these things. I know I can. And I like them. I've run half marathons (and walked a full marathon). I've completed a century ride — one-hundred miserable miles on a hot and windy summer day. I did Crossfit for five years. I'm capable of strenuous exercise, and I know it.

But I'm not doing that exercise right now. I'm avoiding it.

Three months ago, as the sun started to show its face here in Portland, I wheeled my bicycle from the bottom of the hill to the back office. I wanted to make it easy to hop in the saddle and go. But you know what? I've ridden the thing exactly once this year. The bike is just sitting there, pleading with me to ride it.

The same goes with the website. You all know that I can crank out an article a day. I did it for three years between 2006 and 2009. I did it for the first three months of 2018. When I put my mind to it, I can write well without sacrificing quality.

Yet, for some reason, it's tough for me to publish even once a week lately. My mind is elsewhere. I have no inspiration. This wouldn't be so bad if I were at least handling other site maintenance chores, but I'm not. The site redesign is nearly finished, but it isn't live because there are still things I need to do. I'm not processing guest articles. I'm not posting to social media.

I've no doubt that some of this malaise stems from my chronic depression. But I also know the best way to shake the self-loathing is to actually do something, you know?

Which leads me to fundamental question I find myself facing: If I know what is right, why don't I do it?

I have no answer.

Impossible Expectations

This year, as every year, my depression and anxiety became especially strong during the spring. What's different about this year is that I sought out a therapist.

A few weeks ago, she asked me about my writing. We hadn't talked about it before. “What does success look like for you when it comes to your work?” she asked.

“Success means publishing three articles per week,” I said.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because then I'm giving my readers lots of material. I'm helping them. When I give them a lot of material, they want to come back more often. When I publish more material, more people find the site by search. When I publish more material, I make more money.”

“So, you want to publish three times per week?”

“I guess so,” I said. I thought about it a little. “But I hate the pressure that pace puts on me.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because I don't enjoy it. I don't do great work under time pressure like that. I want to take my time. If I decide to write an article on, say, the history of retirement, then I want to read a book on the subject. Maybe two or three. I want to think deeply about it. Then, I want to take the time to write the best article out there about the history of retirement.”

“You realize you've just told me two very different things, right?” my therapist said. “You've set up contradictory goals for yourself. Plus, you're asking yourself to be the best. That's a tall order. No wonder you're stressed. You have impossible expectations for yourself.”

When I think about it, my therapist is right. I do have impossible expectations for myself — on a lot of things. I have contradictory goals. It's as if there's a Jean Valjean inside of me and an Inspector Javert. And they want different things. Neither is wrong — but they can't both have their way.

But to which do I yield? Am I Valjean or Javert?

At the end of the session, I lamented my dual nature. “I tell other people to be proactive,” I said, “to take charge of their own lives, but I have a hard time doing that myself.”

“Do you think that makes you a hypocrite?” my therapist asked.

“No,” I said without hesitation.

“Good,” she said.

“I think it makes me human,” I said. “I write about the things I struggle with personally. When I started writing about money and getting out of debt, that's because I needed to get out of debt. Now, when I write about tracking spending or having a sense of purpose, that's because I need these things.”

Mindful Spending

So, this is all very interesting on a philosophical level, but what does it have to do with personal finance? Lots, actually.

We make our purchasing decisions based on who we are and who we want to be. If we're not clear on who we are and who we want to be, our choices tend to be arbitrary. They're spontaneous and not based on anything other than immediate desire.

When you're clear on who you are and what you want, it's much easier to practice mindful spending, to be deliberate about the things you buy and own. If you identify as fitness-conscious, for instance, you'll be much less likely to be tempted by cookies and snacks in the grocery store. If, like me at the moment, you identify as a “lapsed” fitness junkie, well then it's much easier to succumb to temptation.

Who we want to be also affects how we spend. In fact, I suspect that much wasted spending — not just for me, but for everybody — is what I'd call “aspirational”. It's not based on our actual habits and actions but on what we wish we did.

Take my bike, for example. I bought it last year but have ridden it only three times in fifteen months. Like I mentioned earlier, it simply sits there, pleading with me to ride it.

I have a good friend who once decided he'd like to learn woodworking. His father had always built and repaired things around the house, and my friend aspired to do the same — even though he had never done so in 35 years of life. He bought a stack of woodworking books, then acquired several expensive tools. He never used them. These were aspirational purchases, based on somebody he wanted to be, not the person he was.

From what I've seen, a lot of folks do this sort of thing with cookbooks. They want to try new recipes and new cuisines, so they gradually fill a shelf with cooking manuals — cooking manuals that they seldom use.

It's because of this relationship between money and identity that I'm so insistent that GRS readers write a personal mission statement. When you're clear on your purpose, it's much easier to make sure your spending is aligned with your values, that your financial decisions are based on who you are instead of some idealized version of who you want to be.

Identity Economics

In their fascinating (if dry and academic) book Identity Economics, George Akerlof and Rachel Kranton explore how our identities shape our work, wages, and well-being.

“In every social context,” the authors write, “people have a notion of who they are, which is associated with beliefs about how they and others are supposed to behave. These notions…play important roles in how economies work.” Our identities determine how we earn a living and how we spend our money.

Akerloff and Kranton say that large portions of our identities are shaped by the environment:

Identity, norms, and social categories may appear to be abstract concepts, but their reality is both powerful and easy to see. Norms are particularly clear when people hold an ideal of who they should be and how they should act.

Here's an example: Many folks who discover the early retirement movement do so through the awesome work of Mr. Money Mustache. He has a strong voice and a popular website. Over the past few years, he's accumulated a passionate army of followers who call themselves Mustachians.

When a person identifies himself as Mustachian, he subscribes to a certain set of values, to particular ways of working with money. Driving is frowned upon. A high saving rate is encouraged. Thrift is a prized virtue. This is identity economics in action.

Akerloff and Kranton are careful to note that our personal identities are not static. They change. Our larger identities change slowly over time, but we can also shift roles rapidly in daily life.

The latter is easiest to see. “Over the course of a day,” they write, “a woman may see herself as a mother at home and a professional at work.” I'd add that she might see herself as an athlete in her running group, a civic leader as a member of the city council, and a Mustachian when she's hanging with her financial friends online.

Each of these is a different identity — or perhaps a different facet of her overall identity. And each affects how she works, saves, and spends.

People change over their lifetimes too. From the book:

People often make decisions that come back to haunt them. We overeat, we smoke, we spend too much, and we regret it. [This is due to] time inconsistency. People have different selves at different points in their lives. The new self could regret the decisions made by the old self…

Sometimes these transitions are anticipated, and people plan accordingly. But often, people only imperfectly anticipate who they will later become.

Look at my own life over the past decade. Who I am today is drastically different than who I was ten years ago. And twenty years ago. Sure, the core J.D. remains the same — once a nerd, always a nerd! — but my values, which are constantly evolving, have morphed and my day-to-day life is sometimes unrecognizable.

During the past ten years, much about my personal identity (and my resulting financial choices) has changed:

I deliberately chose to purchase a small home in “the country”.

I drink beer. I drink coffee. I ride a motorcycle. All of these actions are new.

I lost fifty pounds through years of exercise and healthy eating. Then I gained back forty of those pounds through years of neglect.

I sold Get Rich Slowly — then I bought it back.

These changes, large and small, all affect how I manage my money and how I spend my time. As my identity changes, so do my financial habits.

Related reading: In a strange coincidence, The Guardian published an article on a similar subject last Saturday: “Are you really the ‘real' you?” This piece, which is terrific and well worth reading, looks at how some people change their lives entirely — and why.

Order and Light

At the end of the Les Miserables, after Jean Valjean frees Javert instead of killing him, the police inspector faces an existential crisis. Victor Hugo writes:

He saw before him two roads, both equally straight; but he saw two; and that terrified him — him, who who had never in his life known but one straight line. And, bitter anguish, these two roads were contradictory. One of these two straight lines excluded the other. Which of the two was the true one? His condition was inexpressible.

Inspector Javert's moral certitude proves to be his undoing. Like many folks who are certain they know what is real and what is right, Javert spends years ignoring evidence that controverts his beliefs. He thinks he knows the truth but in reality is blind to it.

When, at last, Javert recognizes that he's been in error all this time, that things are not as black and white as he believed them to be, it's too much for him to bear. Rather than face a world filled with ambiguity and uncertainty, he takes his own life. He jumps in the river and drowns.

Before he kills himself, though, Javert has a sort of revelation. He realizes that Jean Valjean and his alter-ego, Monsieur Madeleine, may have seemed like two different people, but they were one all along. They were two sides of the same person. Valjean was both criminal and hero.

It's all well and good to want to be a fixed, constant person, to have an identity that never changes. But that's not how healthy people work. Healthy people learn and adapt and grow. Who you are today is not the same as who you'll be tomorrow — or who you were yesterday.

As you change, your values will change too. Your goals will change. Your spending will change. What you want to do for work will change. And, yes, there will be many times when you are internally conflicted, when like Javert you are faced with two parallel roads, both of which are “true”.

Summing Up

Who am I? That's a great question.

I'm a guy who writes about money and frugality, but I'm also a man who is willing to — once in a lifetime — spend $267.41 to experience a Michelin-star restaurant in rural France. That's a clear example of mindful spending: I planned the meal weeks in advance and looked forward to it with great anticipation.

I'm a guy who can't bring himself to purchase a new car, so I buy a 25-year-old pickup for $1900. And I don't wash it. I value the vehicle but see no sense in spending the time, money, and energy to clean something that will never look pretty.

I'm a guy who buys new clothes from time to time — don't we all? — but who, yes, is careless enough to leave them on the bedroom floor even though I know my cat likes to pee on them. (Stupid cat!)

I'm a guy who hates public speaking and who doesn't want to be the center of attention, yet who has a deep desire to teach people about personal finance. (Especially the personal side of it all.) This leads me to do things that seem incongruent with what I say I want. I take on months-long projects that stress me out. I agree to fly across the world to talk to people. (Just yesterday, Paula Pant and I had a conversation about how the hassle of attending events is worth it for the friends we make.)

Who am I? I'm J.D. Roth.

The post Identity economics: Who are you? And how does it affect your spending? appeared first on Get Rich Slowly.

from Finance https://www.getrichslowly.org/identity-economics/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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The 1 Bitcoin Show- What is VeriBlock? Binance Coin risk, Bprivate burn, Coinbase, Philippines

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The 1 Bitcoin Show- What is VeriBlock? Binance Coin risk, Bprivate burn, Coinbase, Philippines

Whats up everybody that is adam meister the bitcoinmeister the disrupt meister welcome to the one bitcoin exhibit today is February the thirteenth 2019 robust hand offended via promoting value wealth and bitcoin one Bitcoin equals one Bitcoin i’m confiscating all private duties new counterculture no fancy units or pics here all Fanta city conviction all right guys examine out the links below watch the day before today’s show watch disrupt meister calm tech ball combo mio tech purchased eech be alt i want to remind everybody Friday this week a bitcoin 1:30 p.M. London time we now have got three visitors lined up who are a shock one is Towanda Kim Bo in the gray in Zimbabwe and extra on that the next day however Friday eight:30 a.M. Japanese Time is that this weekend Bitcoin don’t forget play this exhibit play my suggests it 2x speed or 1.5 X 1.75 X if you are if you are staring at it tape it saves you plenty of time I watched all YouTube movies at least at one point 5 x now every single one however lots of them at 2x also check out the hyperlinks under the very first thing recounted in the record below it says Tel Aviv Israel that’s where i’m so after I’m in Baltimore Maryland will say Baltimore Maryland there’s a bit of slightly tip for every person who wears Adam it’s the first thing I write in the be aware session that’s why you should learn the notes part perpetually says where i’m and i shall be here in Tel Aviv until March of 12th in los angeles for 2 weeks after which Baltimore for over a month so i will be in Baltimore all of April and taking care of business there discovered that like bit button okay so i will be in motion i’m invariably in i am in movement in tv Baltimore in LA anywhere anywhere but you cannot Bitcoin master he is in movement I recounted these these folks first he is got a brand new video out his first are living video truly his first are living video link to under he did a just right job he’s a ordinary crate ship my buddy out in a undisclosed location near Camp David in Maryland he advocated to me that you just all determine out tech webcasts that information his chum in Australia now accepts Bitcoin for donations they are so just right shout outs to content material creators who you understand aren’t imperative in the Bitcoin but accept Bitcoin for donation so we’re gonna go care for that correct away my two friends UK Bitcoin master and Craig ship and i assume Craig ships buddy examine it can be all linked to beneath verify it out so yesterday within the tremendous chat any individual sent me a perfect chat that just said and hi there that you would be able to send the super Chan i will read it and that i learn this if it can be clean Union bank of the Philippines launched its first crypto ATM and and he stated it is it can be a bag the bag launched a crypto ATM good and i suggestion well that’s cool and i saw there are a number of articles about it however I decided you recognize why not go ask my chum within the Philippines what is going on on so my chum in the Philippines who did this is this is a real stuff right here whats up Adam I feel it can be a good step but there is little or no indication that they intend to roll out extra of those I suppose it was generally a PR transfer for them to exhibit how severe they had been about blockchain at final yr’s consensus the you be that’s the Union bank of the Philippines president pointed out how he was once engaged on a Rural financial institution blockchain agreement platform with the consensus team we had no longer virtually done so much considering the fact that then however they in actual fact owned the blockchain buzzword here at least within the banking sector so okay these dudes they do an ATM they maintain control of the buzzword the blockchain buzzword everyone associated them with the blockchain within the Philippines they most likely not going to do any longer of those atm it is a start but not as massive of a deal as it’s going to look thank you my pal within the Philippines now I used to be looking at Scott Adams at present yeah well what’s he have got to do with crypto Adam well he had naval ravikant on his exhibit and that is linked to under at naval you guys understand him if you happen to follow crypto Twitter various humans type of she’s a fairly wise man but he says some matters then not every person is of the same opinion with all the time but on Scott Adams show it can be commencing up to twenty 4 minute mark is when he starts talking about crypto okay and in actual fact the rest of the show establishing at the 24 minute mark and it is linked to below is exceptional and he says bitcoin one is a store worth in opposition to you know well theft and socialism theft and he talks of and that is nice it’s a retailer value he likes Bitcoin as a narrative price that was good he put that available in the market and that i agree that it is you realize it protects and worth your wealth and Bitcoin you preserve your wealth from you recognize Venezuela circumstances or wealth tax predicament thank God for the reason that that you can simply leave talk and he talks about one factor that’s he was once speaking about if a country adopts an current small cryptocurrency or makes their own by using forking it off a Bitcoin that all the residents would turn out to be rich it can be the way he you get the factor I don’t know how theoretical it particularly is you gotta hearken to him again and then he also suggests that every america citizen is given a 2nd passport so they are able to sell that 2d Passport to a legal immigrant who they want to get into the country the country’s population will double but all of all american citizens will become a lot wealthier since they are going to promote the they will promote these 2nd passports they will make a decision who their new countrymen are again that used to be an idea of his would not have so much to do with Bitcoin I concept i’d it’s an intriguing video i suppose that Allah tempt you guys to watch it due to the fact that numerous it is about correct all correct continuing on and it can be newsworthy does the Scott Adams talking as much as a smart crypto man more individuals discovering out about it that’s pleasant this is a narc k I was once going to mention this the day prior to this and come to a decision not to as I point desk has an editorial about it and there may be additionally a tweet about it i’m going to hyperlink to beneath coinbase pockets to characteristic personal key backup on Google force and iCloud queerbaiting swallowed users will soon be equipped to backup their confidential keys or private Oh personal cloud storage platform Google pressure and Apple’s iCloud k that sounds disastrous you wish to have to place your exclusive key within the cloud the cloud will get hacked okay you comprehend it’s a Keable that this seems like a nasty drawback however this tweet by way of jesse friend sums it up better than I might i’m not a fan of coaching users on bad protection cloud storage whilst convenient is always compromised above all with all of the symport introduced the folks who would unwittingly use this don’t have passwords robust adequate to withstand legitimate cracking k so it is a no-win quandary if you’re a character who would not wish to you are regularly now not it is technologically advanced at all for those who do not even want to like keep in mind storing your crypto on a trestle or instead of that coinbase so you are not going to have a strong ample password anyway for your your cloud account it’s extra inclined to being hacked it’s a nightmare situation this is my advice if you are even due to the fact that something like this gain knowledge of learn how to control your own confidential key get a trace or all correct retaining this makes it I mean as a minimum this indicates how foolish it is to maintain your your coins at coinbase that this is going to be a method to shield your coins they coinbase through having a duplicate of the personal key therein within the cloud now it’s it’s making things worse so Josh additionally bitch additionally H who I’ve had on my exhibit before he has article with courageous new coin speaking about something I had by no means heard of earlier than or maybe I heard but I did not provide it much Vera block network fundamentals show a fun a enormous rise in transactions per day over the past month that is in Bitcoin which is able to ordinarily be attributed to Vera block a mechanism for securing other block chains using the Bitcoin blockchain the ongoing growth in transactions per day has been helped with the aid of Vera block which helps cozy different block chains by means of the proof of proof consensus mechanism proof of proof embeds the present state of other block chains into the Bitcoin blockchain making different block chains less susceptible to proof-of-work vulnerabilities like 51 percentage attacks the Vera block workforce includes Jeff garsik a prior Bitcoin core developer and head developer of the failed segment 2x initiative in accordance to a few estimates Vera block accounts for 25% of all transactions presently on the community Vera block does now not use seg wit and some have referred to as the mining technique transaction spam so what is going on here man what is god I want to be taught slightly bit more about this is this a difficulty does I imply blocks are not fooled now so wager it is not a problem is this spam i like to listen to more on joyful Josh I introduced this up and any individual over Twitter informed me about this yeah Vera block so Josh additionally had as an editorial about a conception of price analysis now i am going to explain why i am bringing this book a thought of network fundamentals are all Pauls as soon as again as a constantinople hard fork has been delayed unless february 27th a discount in aetherium issuance will affect now not simplest the annual inflation but also mining profitability if aetherium prices remain low many my will not be capable to mine aetherium at a revenue and aetherium hash rate will continue to fall okay I i don’t consider the cost will drop I think the fee will increase and miners will proceed to mine profitably I think they will pull it off this time they may be a bunch of hype around it and you know a number of individuals are aware of it’s the 2nd coming of a theory uh-oh flippin purpose you realize it’ll customarily activate uh wouldn’t be amazed if it sets up some style of bull on market for it cereal once once they pulled this off so uh simply it can be coming up on the 27th we will see but hey I valued my bail from big the coin i do not gamble on things like ethereal it’s no longer going away although and it can be bought a number of big supporters who wanted to be triumphant who desired to be the next Bitcoin so you know it perhaps down now it’s going to be again it just will that you can hate it on it as so much as you want to however there is a variety of and also you know it would no longer make plenty of experience quite a lot of individuals say there is various problems with it but that gets overlooked that it just gets not noted in when the market turns into irrational and when the dreamers with some huge cash to blow invest in it too because they have got such excessive hopes that it’ll be the next Bitcoin even though it is now not intended to be the subsequent Bitcoin all correct coin burn scan good as we know be confidential in crypto dividend of a Bitcoin and handle Z basic they are incomes cash which have not ever been moved in different words when that once the fork happen there’s some people that on no account simply claim their cash they web and so they on no account will Satoshi will in no way claim his be personal so due to the fact that be exclusive had that problem the place they there used to be a developer snuck in some code the create additional be exclusive now they’re going the opposite course and they’re eliminating all of the simply be confidential that has never been claimed earlier than that is never be clean so I imply it can be it is no longer taking any one’s be private on account that these folks didn’t take the initiative to get to be personal in the first location now some folks could had been ready on that initiative so they’re gonna believe they’re being robbed but if they particularly desired them they must get it but it’s it is it can be now not worth very much but here is there is a piece of writing about this be private cost turns bullish as coin burner Neil Mears so ok that’s the satisfactory experiment right here I imply this is a component of a significant if they if they get rid of all of these coins and it could come to be being numerous coins we’re we’re going to knit I mean while others are talking about cash printing and increasing supplies to solve issues i like to see an scan in lowering give and to look how the market reacts to that because that is my whole I imply I i’m not for these inflationary options that bribing individuals are spreading fun about let’s print extra Bitcoin I imply that’s although it can be ridiculous to me it can be ridiculous me so i like seeing all coins it was once all aspects are just experiments they are simply experience the BIC we would learn from what happens while you eliminate cash which can be in no way going to be planed when now when persons are watching at your market cap it is going to at the start appear rather a lot scale back they’re gonna that is going to be so much much less coins but at least you can this shall be in the event that they do this right and so they rather what they will be left with is the amount of coins that have genuinely been moved that folks have proactively finished anything with it’s going to show you understand how much interest is rather in the coin you may have coins like that what’s it known as a B B diamond they say they may be 210 million of them however I imply both the bulk of that’s cash which have not ever been claimed at all so it makes it look so much larger than it’s and you you do once they listed on coin market cap I imply I learn Nick Carter had a method of looking at a market cap the place it took into account the fee of the coin when it lasts the final time it moved good I imply so many cash in so many – so many cash in so many distinct cryptocurrencies have under no circumstances moved so they’re they’re valued at very little in that method of making a choice on market valuation so now would be personal if this in the event that they pull this out right you’re going to peer how so much it’s relatively how so much market quite thinks it can be worth so it can be the closest thing to an actual market cap of all all coins available in the market in the event that they pull this out pull this off and that i desired to evaluate this to an airdrop in an airdrop you proactively have to do whatever to get your factor you have to signal up and the whole thing right here they are retro actively pronouncing you must have carried out some thing and if you don’t do it via the 16th then you are now not gonna have the coin so that must have factor that you simply must have carried out was move the coin claim the coin break up the coin from Z traditional or or or large so again the 16th or seventeenth that is happening on that is any spare a sport you already know men and women by and large or why do you carry up all cash out i am Bree and i hardly ever do not carry them off guys and usually once I deliver them up its websites so how will we how can we learn from this how are we going to this is an experiment this has now not been this a foremost coin burn like this has not been tried before and that i consider it I it will be first-rate if it suggests that the that coin scarcity is main that coin that if the market is aware of the reality about how a lot you could have out there and if it’s now not that month many you recognize if it’s if they realize it’s not gonna get inflated away then then it’s a positive then the cost will go up we will see we’ll see what we gain knowledge of from this ok so and to this point the costs going up it appears that article says Matt O’Dell coin panic and i factor this out once more I want to put this out once more in the event that they pull this off then maybe a bunch of different all cash will do that too and we’ll know what their proper market caps are or are extra accurate market cap considering that correct now the coin market cap market caps are simply and they don’t they do not mean that so much they don’t imply that a lot when you consider that so many the cash for higher or worse do not relatively exist all right so let’s speak about one more hear have an IC o—- coin here Matt Odell who mattered al reminder that shopping he says write reminder that with the aid of and that is linked to below finance coin is a centralized security token for an trade that’s actively breaking US laws you also must trust that finance is reporting their financials thoroughly being financed coin could turn out to be nugatory without warning because of executive motion exit scam fraud or theft ok so what why am i bringing this up i do know a variety of men and women used by NASA i guess you isn’t you will not be buying and selling anyway however there you understand you get tempted you see good they’ve acquired this finance coin that’s essentially invest is funding in their corporation so I imply that’s what it’s that is what happening lift cash by using giving out these finance cones and now it can be the worth of the cash going up since persons feel the organization is good it’s useful now what he points out right here is that it is it’s breaking the USA laws and when you the united states the united states could go after them sooner or later and but might compromise with them someday and say k dudes we are going to can help you do what you are gonna do however you received to show off your with the aid of Nantz going now that’s it or yeah they could willingly supply over all their finance cash once more it is a centralized coin based on a enterprise it’s that’s not a good thing to maintain and not a just right factor to mess around with it’s very centralized and and again it habits and the way about this if the for some rationale the S if the if they finance gets hacked or if the U.S. Shuts it down then the coin is right away valued at zero so you are conserving this coin you think you will have acquired 1000’s of greenbacks worth of it tens of enormous quantities and it is valued at nothing in a 2nd that may occur very with ease with a centralized Cohen token that’s founded on a manufacturer on this atmosphere okay seeing that again these organizations they are no longer as match they usually’re no longer like Google they may be not it they may be not like they may be now not like IBM they are no longer they’re not they may be relatively fly-by way of-night time businesses and so they might emerge as the next biggest matters they might end up huge or this might we talked about this on a earlier exhibit maybe with the aid of Nance is the following CompuServe pound that like button and good you suck it think back in then I mean hardly someone can assume this was we were all youngsters numerous men and women have been children but in you realize in 1995 for some cause you were ready to have stock and CompuServe i do not suppose they were a public organization however I imply they have been the largest factor but then instantly it grew to become worthless when you consider that he taught me servers nugatory it used to be it was the worthless corporation if it got here out date is so speedy yeah you wouldn’t want you would not wish to be holding a comp reserve the equivalent of copies or inventory in these days and this would be on a much this would be a lot worse and far turbo however again i hope by means of NASA as good i’m hoping i’m hoping it is the subsequent I have no idea what the identical is next Yahoo Yahoo did for you all correct they did they weren’t the nice however they’re still round right all correct it’s that is formatted yeah I wish to read whatever from bruce fenton this tweet and this this type of goes with what Matt simply stated do not danger what you already have to get what you don’t need tell that like button don’t risk what you already have your Bitcoin to get what you don’t want your through Nance coin k worth your wealth in Bitcoin yeah you have already got something in case you’ve received Bitcoin don’t forget with that one Bitcoin is the one Bitcoin show you do not want you are not looking for by Nance coin you recognize you don’t want any of the opposite coins k Trump maestro calm tech ball calm watch these indicates baby holla me at tech ball an that bail button if you want a reminder when this exhibit goes live but howdy YouTube doesn’t even send out reminders to me anymore when my show goes are living even though I bang the bell something hey that is it i am doing what i’m doing though baby preserve keep preserve going along child conviction so no Paris 73 I tried to summarize in 20 minutes the entire privacy work that is taking place in Bitcoin concentrating on blockchain degree at an enemy and immunity associated stuff I nonetheless overlooked a lot it’s a twice it’s part of a greater presentation it can be link snapshot below if you wish to watch a technical talk about Bitcoin privateness from a new para 73 that is linked to below Brad the Brad tech webcast this dude that I just stated on the show who I stated is in motion he simply sent me ninety nine cents Australian this student is really in Australia and he he invited me on the show it’s door for Shabbat I are not able to I are not able to come on the exhibit you worship I however Craig ship will probably be on the show and well that is Frank it can be Friday guys verify him out below thanks for the support man thank you a lot a brad of a tech webcast was a tech webcast on info I acquired not gonna go all the manner again up my notes I wish to make sure I get this dude’s URL right once more I imply it can be it can be linked to beneath it is it’s uh yeah it can be uh it is linked to below and can be his tech webcast info straight out of Austria found that like button Australia’s ok now going back to the place I used to be before earlier than that uh very been remarkable super chat I respect it we mentioned privacy ok so let’s speak about some drop more enjoyable whatever that is not very good in terms of privacy and it goes back to what I used to be talking about with exchanges in the past breaker magazine octor portraits at the moment are among the many litany of ways that hackers are seeking to acquire access to men and women’s cryptocurrency money owed consistent with cyber security firm historic safety bait images are being offered on the darkish web as a technique for hackers to trick economic associations comparable to crypto currency exchanges into resetting your two-element authentication thereby getting across the one-time passcode that the majority ordinarily protects your account it dudes that’s now not excellent so a number of you’re like well I’ve bought to 2-factor authentication at my crypto trade nobody will be in a position to steal all that Bitcoin that i’m storing there to alternate for by Nance coin or for another or nonsense coin however no if anyone has received your photo a man they’re due they’re promoting it on the darkish net and that is that is unhealthy again for those who manipulate your possess personal key in your Tresor it isn’t important who’s bought your snapshot you might have received your Bitcoin it son confiscated once you do not manipulate that personal key you think I possibly the safest operation in the world two-factor authentication no one can be competent to persuade this exchange to that it’s me after which they only they make a fake passport on the grounds that they observed your face somewhere very well and it’s working it sounds as if they’re promoting it on the black bill on the darkish net Oh God all proper guys i’m adam meister the bitcoinmeister the disrupt meister buddy man like button subscribe the channel follow me at tat bot te CH b alt infamous b t– c no fancy sesor portraits click on on those squares now on the finish of the exhibit play the show at 2x see you in a chat now bye

[batterymonster2021]

The 1 Bitcoin Show- What is VeriBlock? Binance Coin risk, Bprivate burn, Coinbase, Philippines

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/the-1-bitcoin-show-what-is-veriblock-binance-coin-risk-bprivate-burn-coinbase-philippines/

The 1 Bitcoin Show- What is VeriBlock? Binance Coin risk, Bprivate burn, Coinbase, Philippines

Whats up everybody that is adam meister the bitcoinmeister the disrupt meister welcome to the one bitcoin exhibit today is February the thirteenth 2019 robust hand offended via promoting value wealth and bitcoin one Bitcoin equals one Bitcoin i’m confiscating all private duties new counterculture no fancy units or pics here all Fanta city conviction all right guys examine out the links below watch the day before today’s show watch disrupt meister calm tech ball combo mio tech purchased eech be alt i want to remind everybody Friday this week a bitcoin 1:30 p.M. London time we now have got three visitors lined up who are a shock one is Towanda Kim Bo in the gray in Zimbabwe and extra on that the next day however Friday eight:30 a.M. Japanese Time is that this weekend Bitcoin don’t forget play this exhibit play my suggests it 2x speed or 1.5 X 1.75 X if you are if you are staring at it tape it saves you plenty of time I watched all YouTube movies at least at one point 5 x now every single one however lots of them at 2x also check out the hyperlinks under the very first thing recounted in the record below it says Tel Aviv Israel that’s where i’m so after I’m in Baltimore Maryland will say Baltimore Maryland there’s a bit of slightly tip for every person who wears Adam it’s the first thing I write in the be aware session that’s why you should learn the notes part perpetually says where i’m and i shall be here in Tel Aviv until March of 12th in los angeles for 2 weeks after which Baltimore for over a month so i will be in Baltimore all of April and taking care of business there discovered that like bit button okay so i will be in motion i’m invariably in i am in movement in tv Baltimore in LA anywhere anywhere but you cannot Bitcoin master he is in movement I recounted these these folks first he is got a brand new video out his first are living video truly his first are living video link to under he did a just right job he’s a ordinary crate ship my buddy out in a undisclosed location near Camp David in Maryland he advocated to me that you just all determine out tech webcasts that information his chum in Australia now accepts Bitcoin for donations they are so just right shout outs to content material creators who you understand aren’t imperative in the Bitcoin but accept Bitcoin for donation so we’re gonna go care for that correct away my two friends UK Bitcoin master and Craig ship and i assume Craig ships buddy examine it can be all linked to beneath verify it out so yesterday within the tremendous chat any individual sent me a perfect chat that just said and hi there that you would be able to send the super Chan i will read it and that i learn this if it can be clean Union bank of the Philippines launched its first crypto ATM and and he stated it is it can be a bag the bag launched a crypto ATM good and i suggestion well that’s cool and i saw there are a number of articles about it however I decided you recognize why not go ask my chum within the Philippines what is going on on so my chum in the Philippines who did this is this is a real stuff right here whats up Adam I feel it can be a good step but there is little or no indication that they intend to roll out extra of those I suppose it was generally a PR transfer for them to exhibit how severe they had been about blockchain at final yr’s consensus the you be that’s the Union bank of the Philippines president pointed out how he was once engaged on a Rural financial institution blockchain agreement platform with the consensus team we had no longer virtually done so much considering the fact that then however they in actual fact owned the blockchain buzzword here at least within the banking sector so okay these dudes they do an ATM they maintain control of the buzzword the blockchain buzzword everyone associated them with the blockchain within the Philippines they most likely not going to do any longer of those atm it is a start but not as massive of a deal as it’s going to look thank you my pal within the Philippines now I used to be looking at Scott Adams at present yeah well what’s he have got to do with crypto Adam well he had naval ravikant on his exhibit and that is linked to under at naval you guys understand him if you happen to follow crypto Twitter various humans type of she’s a fairly wise man but he says some matters then not every person is of the same opinion with all the time but on Scott Adams show it can be commencing up to twenty 4 minute mark is when he starts talking about crypto okay and in actual fact the rest of the show establishing at the 24 minute mark and it is linked to below is exceptional and he says bitcoin one is a store worth in opposition to you know well theft and socialism theft and he talks of and that is nice it’s a retailer value he likes Bitcoin as a narrative price that was good he put that available in the market and that i agree that it is you realize it protects and worth your wealth and Bitcoin you preserve your wealth from you recognize Venezuela circumstances or wealth tax predicament thank God for the reason that that you can simply leave talk and he talks about one factor that’s he was once speaking about if a country adopts an current small cryptocurrency or makes their own by using forking it off a Bitcoin that all the residents would turn out to be rich it can be the way he you get the factor I don’t know how theoretical it particularly is you gotta hearken to him again and then he also suggests that every america citizen is given a 2nd passport so they are able to sell that 2d Passport to a legal immigrant who they want to get into the country the country’s population will double but all of all american citizens will become a lot wealthier since they are going to promote the they will promote these 2nd passports they will make a decision who their new countrymen are again that used to be an idea of his would not have so much to do with Bitcoin I concept i’d it’s an intriguing video i suppose that Allah tempt you guys to watch it due to the fact that numerous it is about correct all correct continuing on and it can be newsworthy does the Scott Adams talking as much as a smart crypto man more individuals discovering out about it that’s pleasant this is a narc k I was once going to mention this the day prior to this and come to a decision not to as I point desk has an editorial about it and there may be additionally a tweet about it i’m going to hyperlink to beneath coinbase pockets to characteristic personal key backup on Google force and iCloud queerbaiting swallowed users will soon be equipped to backup their confidential keys or private Oh personal cloud storage platform Google pressure and Apple’s iCloud k that sounds disastrous you wish to have to place your exclusive key within the cloud the cloud will get hacked okay you comprehend it’s a Keable that this seems like a nasty drawback however this tweet by way of jesse friend sums it up better than I might i’m not a fan of coaching users on bad protection cloud storage whilst convenient is always compromised above all with all of the symport introduced the folks who would unwittingly use this don’t have passwords robust adequate to withstand legitimate cracking k so it is a no-win quandary if you’re a character who would not wish to you are regularly now not it is technologically advanced at all for those who do not even want to like keep in mind storing your crypto on a trestle or instead of that coinbase so you are not going to have a strong ample password anyway for your your cloud account it’s extra inclined to being hacked it’s a nightmare situation this is my advice if you are even due to the fact that something like this gain knowledge of learn how to control your own confidential key get a trace or all correct retaining this makes it I mean as a minimum this indicates how foolish it is to maintain your your coins at coinbase that this is going to be a method to shield your coins they coinbase through having a duplicate of the personal key therein within the cloud now it’s it’s making things worse so Josh additionally bitch additionally H who I’ve had on my exhibit before he has article with courageous new coin speaking about something I had by no means heard of earlier than or maybe I heard but I did not provide it much Vera block network fundamentals show a fun a enormous rise in transactions per day over the past month that is in Bitcoin which is able to ordinarily be attributed to Vera block a mechanism for securing other block chains using the Bitcoin blockchain the ongoing growth in transactions per day has been helped with the aid of Vera block which helps cozy different block chains by means of the proof of proof consensus mechanism proof of proof embeds the present state of other block chains into the Bitcoin blockchain making different block chains less susceptible to proof-of-work vulnerabilities like 51 percentage attacks the Vera block workforce includes Jeff garsik a prior Bitcoin core developer and head developer of the failed segment 2x initiative in accordance to a few estimates Vera block accounts for 25% of all transactions presently on the community Vera block does now not use seg wit and some have referred to as the mining technique transaction spam so what is going on here man what is god I want to be taught slightly bit more about this is this a difficulty does I imply blocks are not fooled now so wager it is not a problem is this spam i like to listen to more on joyful Josh I introduced this up and any individual over Twitter informed me about this yeah Vera block so Josh additionally had as an editorial about a conception of price analysis now i am going to explain why i am bringing this book a thought of network fundamentals are all Pauls as soon as again as a constantinople hard fork has been delayed unless february 27th a discount in aetherium issuance will affect now not simplest the annual inflation but also mining profitability if aetherium prices remain low many my will not be capable to mine aetherium at a revenue and aetherium hash rate will continue to fall okay I i don’t consider the cost will drop I think the fee will increase and miners will proceed to mine profitably I think they will pull it off this time they may be a bunch of hype around it and you know a number of individuals are aware of it’s the 2nd coming of a theory uh-oh flippin purpose you realize it’ll customarily activate uh wouldn’t be amazed if it sets up some style of bull on market for it cereal once once they pulled this off so uh simply it can be coming up on the 27th we will see but hey I valued my bail from big the coin i do not gamble on things like ethereal it’s no longer going away although and it can be bought a number of big supporters who wanted to be triumphant who desired to be the next Bitcoin so you know it perhaps down now it’s going to be again it just will that you can hate it on it as so much as you want to however there is a variety of and also you know it would no longer make plenty of experience quite a lot of individuals say there is various problems with it but that gets overlooked that it just gets not noted in when the market turns into irrational and when the dreamers with some huge cash to blow invest in it too because they have got such excessive hopes that it’ll be the next Bitcoin even though it is now not intended to be the subsequent Bitcoin all correct coin burn scan good as we know be confidential in crypto dividend of a Bitcoin and handle Z basic they are incomes cash which have not ever been moved in different words when that once the fork happen there’s some people that on no account simply claim their cash they web and so they on no account will Satoshi will in no way claim his be personal so due to the fact that be exclusive had that problem the place they there used to be a developer snuck in some code the create additional be exclusive now they’re going the opposite course and they’re eliminating all of the simply be confidential that has never been claimed earlier than that is never be clean so I imply it can be it is no longer taking any one’s be private on account that these folks didn’t take the initiative to get to be personal in the first location now some folks could had been ready on that initiative so they’re gonna believe they’re being robbed but if they particularly desired them they must get it but it’s it is it can be now not worth very much but here is there is a piece of writing about this be private cost turns bullish as coin burner Neil Mears so ok that’s the satisfactory experiment right here I imply this is a component of a significant if they if they get rid of all of these coins and it could come to be being numerous coins we’re we’re going to knit I mean while others are talking about cash printing and increasing supplies to solve issues i like to see an scan in lowering give and to look how the market reacts to that because that is my whole I imply I i’m not for these inflationary options that bribing individuals are spreading fun about let’s print extra Bitcoin I imply that’s although it can be ridiculous to me it can be ridiculous me so i like seeing all coins it was once all aspects are just experiments they are simply experience the BIC we would learn from what happens while you eliminate cash which can be in no way going to be planed when now when persons are watching at your market cap it is going to at the start appear rather a lot scale back they’re gonna that is going to be so much much less coins but at least you can this shall be in the event that they do this right and so they rather what they will be left with is the amount of coins that have genuinely been moved that folks have proactively finished anything with it’s going to show you understand how much interest is rather in the coin you may have coins like that what’s it known as a B B diamond they say they may be 210 million of them however I imply both the bulk of that’s cash which have not ever been claimed at all so it makes it look so much larger than it’s and you you do once they listed on coin market cap I imply I learn Nick Carter had a method of looking at a market cap the place it took into account the fee of the coin when it lasts the final time it moved good I imply so many cash in so many – so many cash in so many distinct cryptocurrencies have under no circumstances moved so they’re they’re valued at very little in that method of making a choice on market valuation so now would be personal if this in the event that they pull this out right you’re going to peer how so much it’s relatively how so much market quite thinks it can be worth so it can be the closest thing to an actual market cap of all all coins available in the market in the event that they pull this out pull this off and that i desired to evaluate this to an airdrop in an airdrop you proactively have to do whatever to get your factor you have to signal up and the whole thing right here they are retro actively pronouncing you must have carried out some thing and if you don’t do it via the 16th then you are now not gonna have the coin so that must have factor that you simply must have carried out was move the coin claim the coin break up the coin from Z traditional or or or large so again the 16th or seventeenth that is happening on that is any spare a sport you already know men and women by and large or why do you carry up all cash out i am Bree and i hardly ever do not carry them off guys and usually once I deliver them up its websites so how will we how can we learn from this how are we going to this is an experiment this has now not been this a foremost coin burn like this has not been tried before and that i consider it I it will be first-rate if it suggests that the that coin scarcity is main that coin that if the market is aware of the reality about how a lot you could have out there and if it’s now not that month many you recognize if it’s if they realize it’s not gonna get inflated away then then it’s a positive then the cost will go up we will see we’ll see what we gain knowledge of from this ok so and to this point the costs going up it appears that article says Matt O’Dell coin panic and i factor this out once more I want to put this out once more in the event that they pull this off then maybe a bunch of different all cash will do that too and we’ll know what their proper market caps are or are extra accurate market cap considering that correct now the coin market cap market caps are simply and they don’t they do not mean that so much they don’t imply that a lot when you consider that so many the cash for higher or worse do not relatively exist all right so let’s speak about one more hear have an IC o—- coin here Matt Odell who mattered al reminder that shopping he says write reminder that with the aid of and that is linked to below finance coin is a centralized security token for an trade that’s actively breaking US laws you also must trust that finance is reporting their financials thoroughly being financed coin could turn out to be nugatory without warning because of executive motion exit scam fraud or theft ok so what why am i bringing this up i do know a variety of men and women used by NASA i guess you isn’t you will not be buying and selling anyway however there you understand you get tempted you see good they’ve acquired this finance coin that’s essentially invest is funding in their corporation so I imply that’s what it’s that is what happening lift cash by using giving out these finance cones and now it can be the worth of the cash going up since persons feel the organization is good it’s useful now what he points out right here is that it is it’s breaking the USA laws and when you the united states the united states could go after them sooner or later and but might compromise with them someday and say k dudes we are going to can help you do what you are gonna do however you received to show off your with the aid of Nantz going now that’s it or yeah they could willingly supply over all their finance cash once more it is a centralized coin based on a enterprise it’s that’s not a good thing to maintain and not a just right factor to mess around with it’s very centralized and and again it habits and the way about this if the for some rationale the S if the if they finance gets hacked or if the U.S. Shuts it down then the coin is right away valued at zero so you are conserving this coin you think you will have acquired 1000’s of greenbacks worth of it tens of enormous quantities and it is valued at nothing in a 2nd that may occur very with ease with a centralized Cohen token that’s founded on a manufacturer on this atmosphere okay seeing that again these organizations they are no longer as match they usually’re no longer like Google they may be not it they may be not like they may be now not like IBM they are no longer they’re not they may be relatively fly-by way of-night time businesses and so they might emerge as the next biggest matters they might end up huge or this might we talked about this on a earlier exhibit maybe with the aid of Nance is the following CompuServe pound that like button and good you suck it think back in then I mean hardly someone can assume this was we were all youngsters numerous men and women have been children but in you realize in 1995 for some cause you were ready to have stock and CompuServe i do not suppose they were a public organization however I imply they have been the largest factor but then instantly it grew to become worthless when you consider that he taught me servers nugatory it used to be it was the worthless corporation if it got here out date is so speedy yeah you wouldn’t want you would not wish to be holding a comp reserve the equivalent of copies or inventory in these days and this would be on a much this would be a lot worse and far turbo however again i hope by means of NASA as good i’m hoping i’m hoping it is the subsequent I have no idea what the identical is next Yahoo Yahoo did for you all correct they did they weren’t the nice however they’re still round right all correct it’s that is formatted yeah I wish to read whatever from bruce fenton this tweet and this this type of goes with what Matt simply stated do not danger what you already have to get what you don’t need tell that like button don’t risk what you already have your Bitcoin to get what you don’t want your through Nance coin k worth your wealth in Bitcoin yeah you have already got something in case you’ve received Bitcoin don’t forget with that one Bitcoin is the one Bitcoin show you do not want you are not looking for by Nance coin you recognize you don’t want any of the opposite coins k Trump maestro calm tech ball calm watch these indicates baby holla me at tech ball an that bail button if you want a reminder when this exhibit goes live but howdy YouTube doesn’t even send out reminders to me anymore when my show goes are living even though I bang the bell something hey that is it i am doing what i’m doing though baby preserve keep preserve going along child conviction so no Paris 73 I tried to summarize in 20 minutes the entire privacy work that is taking place in Bitcoin concentrating on blockchain degree at an enemy and immunity associated stuff I nonetheless overlooked a lot it’s a twice it’s part of a greater presentation it can be link snapshot below if you wish to watch a technical talk about Bitcoin privateness from a new para 73 that is linked to below Brad the Brad tech webcast this dude that I just stated on the show who I stated is in motion he simply sent me ninety nine cents Australian this student is really in Australia and he he invited me on the show it’s door for Shabbat I are not able to I are not able to come on the exhibit you worship I however Craig ship will probably be on the show and well that is Frank it can be Friday guys verify him out below thanks for the support man thank you a lot a brad of a tech webcast was a tech webcast on info I acquired not gonna go all the manner again up my notes I wish to make sure I get this dude’s URL right once more I imply it can be it can be linked to beneath it is it’s uh yeah it can be uh it is linked to below and can be his tech webcast info straight out of Austria found that like button Australia’s ok now going back to the place I used to be before earlier than that uh very been remarkable super chat I respect it we mentioned privacy ok so let’s speak about some drop more enjoyable whatever that is not very good in terms of privacy and it goes back to what I used to be talking about with exchanges in the past breaker magazine octor portraits at the moment are among the many litany of ways that hackers are seeking to acquire access to men and women’s cryptocurrency money owed consistent with cyber security firm historic safety bait images are being offered on the darkish web as a technique for hackers to trick economic associations comparable to crypto currency exchanges into resetting your two-element authentication thereby getting across the one-time passcode that the majority ordinarily protects your account it dudes that’s now not excellent so a number of you’re like well I’ve bought to 2-factor authentication at my crypto trade nobody will be in a position to steal all that Bitcoin that i’m storing there to alternate for by Nance coin or for another or nonsense coin however no if anyone has received your photo a man they’re due they’re promoting it on the darkish net and that is that is unhealthy again for those who manipulate your possess personal key in your Tresor it isn’t important who’s bought your snapshot you might have received your Bitcoin it son confiscated once you do not manipulate that personal key you think I possibly the safest operation in the world two-factor authentication no one can be competent to persuade this exchange to that it’s me after which they only they make a fake passport on the grounds that they observed your face somewhere very well and it’s working it sounds as if they’re promoting it on the black bill on the darkish net Oh God all proper guys i’m adam meister the bitcoinmeister the disrupt meister buddy man like button subscribe the channel follow me at tat bot te CH b alt infamous b t– c no fancy sesor portraits click on on those squares now on the finish of the exhibit play the show at 2x see you in a chat now bye

[buildfacebookbusiness]

How to Use Facebook For Business

The one thing Facebook has not made sense of yet is the means by which to use their spectacular item to profit, reliably and on a continuous premise - i.e. finding the correct plan of action. An extremely captivating theme to compose my first blog about, in light of the fact that, as I would see it, finding the correct plan of action for Facebook can't be practiced utilizing traditional reasoning, as, exclusively taking a gander at Google and their web crawler promotion income, for instance. Facebook is one of a kind, so you have to discover one of a kind arrangements. All things considered, there isn't one single best plan of action for this site, rather a large number of potential income streams from altogether different sources. It isn't just "how would we produce income", however similarly essential "when do we begin with which one". This may sound bizarre now, yet it will get clear when perusing this. Abridged, it is fundamentally taking your benefits and what made you fruitful in any case and finding better approaches to utilize them viable.

Facebook has a commercial center really, yet it's sheltered to state, that it never took off in the manner in which different parts of the site did. So I propose a relaunch. Focal points are that no extra login is required and the entirely helpful record gets to, likewise through Facebook's really well done versatile applications. Presently the business arrange profile of (in any event) the dealers ought to be incorporated with the commercial center with the clients tolerating that Facebook business can utilize their information for security reasons (e.g. to kill clients with phony profiles from the begin) while having them likewise add more information to have the capacity to go about as a merchant (increasingly key information inside Facebook). This abundance of information empowers Facebook to have an adequately lower misrepresentation rate and far superior fitting custom contributions for each and every client than e.g. eBay, colossal upper hands. Exceptional advancements for merchandise on Facebook will likewise make it simpler for some clients to acknowledge letting Facebook utilize their current information entirely for security reasons.

Facebook groups have the degree that anyone knows been obsolete by Facebook pages, yet due to Facebook restores inside the most recent two years Facebook pages have been kept to an under 15% appearance in the news wellsprings of individuals who to a great degree like the page. This has understood the arrival of Facebook packages as a strategy for passing on your message to the larger part on Facebook multi amass appropriation. Adding individuals to Facebook bunches is such a ton of less asking for than rousing individuals to a great degree like your page. Get-togethers are a framework and frameworks are incorporated individuals who share a normal intrigue. When you find how to get a bounty of individuals who share an ordinary vitality into a social event that they are amped up for then you are well while in the movement to making an amazing Facebook gathering.

When you are certain that your facebook multi-pages see is of an authentic rousing power to its kin you are set for headway and the central focuses in a going with a couple of regions will really work for you.

Multi pages see has ended up being something past playing stimulation's, seeing your allies, and doing silly tests for the range of the day. Today, a more noteworthy number of people than later in late memory are using the intensity of Facebook to find the things and affiliations that they require. In like way, Facebook addresses a goliath open entryway for self-decision affiliations. Absolutely when done precisely, your Facebook impelling system can change into an exceedingly convenient gadget. You can get the message out about your things and affiliations, make amusement arrangements, and interface with your customers in a customer lovely way.

In the wake of setting up your Facebook groups you can fundamentally ahead and invite people to join your get-together, by then you can put pictures and annuals, you can start related subjects, you can send enthralling contemplation's, you can develop a couple of offers. Use your name or your connection name as the title for the get-together and welcome a couple of assistants along to take an intrigue. This is a momentous approach to intertwine more substance and information about your very own remarkable business and won't be seen as spam because of the manner in which that the information you give is basic and genuine. The striking thing about this system is that if you develop your get-together people in excess of 5,000 people, you can not send messages to all people from your gathering any longer. So think of it as unequivocally. When you send messages to your family, uncover to them really about the qualities and challenges of your business and after that approach them for a dedication about future appearing, people will tune in and respond.

A considerable number of individuals stun when they at first understand that facebook auto post contraptions and totally markdown that auto blogging programming works. Notwithstanding, truly they work, and furthermore, they work to an incredible degree well. I have distinctive online journals that I was attempting purposeless to remain mindful of another and new substance. Plainly, when I began the online journals the objective was to post a fundamental article every day, by then it was two or on numerous occasions each week, by then it was at one time seven days… you get the float, and no uncertainty is facing a similar thing with your blog.

Business No-Brainers: Why You Should Use A Facebook Business Page Not Your Facebook Profile! I was constrained to compose this three-section article in the wake of meeting such a significant number of entrepreneurs who have not yet understood the advantages of a Business Page for their image, items or benefits and are, as I would like to think, extremely missing a trap. And after that, there are the individuals who either misconstrue the different element idea of a Facebook Business Page or erroneously feel that it gives individuals an entrance to their private lives on the web. I have even met entrepreneurs who to my alarm have set up numerous Facebook accounts with discrete log-ins - so much pointless work for them.

A Facebook Profile and Business Page are (almost) fundamentally unrelated and lead exceptionally separate lives giving you recall forget to post refreshes as your Page. While there is a limit to what is 'open' on your Facebook Profile except if someone is companions with you, in the event that you are as yet worried about the refinement, it doesn't do any damage to secure the settings significantly further in the event that you wish to - Facebook gives you the adaptability and control to do this.

On the other side, placing yourself in the shoes of your family and companions, they likely would prefer not to see a report on your business each time they sign in to Facebook same as you wouldn't have any desire to find out about a companion's activity each time you did. Obviously, on the off chance that they have preferred your Business Page, it's an alternate story yet keeping the two separate in any case gives everyone the choice and maintains a person's inclinations.

There is nothing more baffling than tapping on a Facebook symbol on a site for it to then take you to someone's Facebook Profile. This looks crude and as though you don't have an idea about how to utilize Facebook for business. I have lost tally of the occasions this has happened to me and when it does, as opposed to setting aside the opportunity to see whether there is in certainty a different Page, I just kill and close the site page.

I am not by and by in the propensity for sending companion solicitations to individuals I don't have the foggiest idea, yet say in this case I did? Along these lines, I've arrived on a Facebook Profile by tapping on the Facebook pursue catch on a site and sent a companion to ask. This has now been acknowledged. Be that as it may, despite everything I don't get business refreshes, yet rather the photographs remarks, companion refreshes, and so forth of the individual being referred to as well as their companions also who I similarly don't recognize in the slightest. Have I made my point?

A Page Newsfeed or Timeline is what could be compared to your Email Marketing on Facebook and supports your accomplishment in coming to and drawing in with individuals. Consider it an individual's inbox to which you convey your whole Business Page related news, i.e. a Newsletter to which Fans have bought in to. With the special reward of a far lower withdraw rate, no dependence on endorsers sending it to their companions (but with a motivation for doing as such inherent), it is far less tedious to stay up with the latest and a sentence or two is everything necessary for you to conceivably get new Fans and expanded introduction.

But at the same time we should not overlook the invert, on the grounds that what you read from others in your own Page Newsfeed won't just give an abundance of motivation and material for your own substance thoughts yet additionally give further chances to you to remark on the posts of others and be seen by their Fan/Friends.

Similarly as with the substance the board arrangement of a site, an Administrator of a Business Page can designate organization rights to other Facebook account holders with a level of various consent levels, which and in addition enabling you to work more brilliant and free up your very own opportunity to concentrate on different regions of your business, gives an extra dimension of security since you don't need to give them the username/secret phrase for your own Facebook account.

You can likewise make anyone who is as of now an Administrator of your Business Page a Featured Administrator/Business Page Owner. This will essentially connect them with the Business Page by showing their Facebook Profile Picture in the About area of your Business Page and furthermore express that they are a Business Page Owner on their Facebook Profile. For my own business, the advantage of this is to enable individuals to see who the general population in the business are, similarly as the About Business Page of a site does.

[thesinglesjukebox]

THE 1975 - LOVE IT IF WE MADE IT [4.46] Get out your popcorn, it's time for another controversial One Nine Seven Five single...

Will Adams: What? It's just an ordinary The 1975 s- *reads lyrics* OH MY GOODNESS! [3]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Matt Healy yelling Hot Takes™ in a wind tunnel as a warmed over INXS track plays is weirdly compelling, but not quite good. [5]

Claire Biddles: If anyone else tried this zeitgeist-quotes lyrical trick (it's barely a trick!) I would hate it, but a) I'm hugely predisposed to The 1975; and b) their inherent miraculousness somehow makes them the exception to every rule. The lyric tries to hold the enormity of the world and so does the music -- each electronic whoosh and whizz is a digital overspill from the heady whole, like even something this maximalist and ambitious isn't quite enough for them. [10]

Iain Mew: The sound is a great expansion of the omnivorous approach of the last album. Taking a beautiful twinkle and one shiny happy phrase and setting upon them with echo, reflections and a lot of noise, its sonic trip represents the overload of modernity in the compelling way that the lyrics resolutely don't. Maybe it's because I've been extremely online since way before The 1975 was a thing, but I'm already familiar with a great stream of context-free sourness and nonsense, and I'd rather not encounter any replications of it. If you're singing "poison me daddy" and "fuck your feelings" as slogans for satire, you're still singing "poison me daddy" and "fuck your feelings" as slogans. It's on a level with someone seeking out the most awful tweets to quote tweet them for clowning purposes, at best. [3]

Alfred Soto: Have these loudmouths gone and interpolated The Blue Nile? Sounds like it. "The Downtown Lights" relied on a steady pulse to put over its lovelorn message; "Love It If We Made It" relies on "The Downtown Lights" to pull a con job on fans born after 1985. I mean, why is this mix so crowded? [5]

Eleanor Graham: The 1975's music has this quality of dancing around your own mind in the stale air of Tory safe-seat mid-late teenhood in an endless cycle of UCAS and grey skies and girls and boys and club toilets with peeling paint. I don't expect anyone to be able to relate to that, but please don't equate my specificity with cosy familiarity. I'm talking about "Robbers" cutting straight to the core of everything that hurts about growing up within its first 30 seconds. Uncomfortable? Oh, god yeah! But when something so closely resembles the inside of your head, it is churlish to deny that you're a fan. All of this goes to say: I am incapable of being objective about "Love It If We Made It." Because it is essentially a dystopian "Robbers," with the same yearning indie thrum and a new urgency; because, well, you know, everything's decaying; because aren't we all thinking about the death of the republic on some level at all times, but don't we also need bangers? Of course, we should be cynical about pop songs that make half-hearted jabs at the administration and reference the deaths of children, which both 1975 singles have now done. In its defence, this one at least makes the statements "I moved on her like a bitch" and "thank you, Kanye, very cool" sound terrifying and surreal enough to remind me that "terrifying" and "surreal" should not have become platitudes. Is it toothless? Is it exploitative? Or will it be read in twenty years simply as addressing the elephant in the room? They've thrown the chorus in there -- raw, open, pleading, trailing off like a comet in the night sky -- to make all of those questions feel inconsequential. [8]

Juan F. Carruyo: A shocker in gloomtown, the song starts with a bang and it never lets up, swallowing everything in its path. The moody production suits the enveloping soundscape and it's worthy of mentioning how the bass plays against the keys in the refrain. By the time the song ends, it feels like this is the soundtrack for the rapture. [8]

Edward Okulicz: I'm massively fond of the 1975, but this is puddle-deep where it's trying to be ~meaningful~ and ~edgy~ and ~zeitgeisty~ and it's a hookless joy after the previous single's buzzy earworm. Big-name artists probably think they've earned the right to release indulgences, but we shouldn't pretend singles like this are anything more. [2]

Will Rivitz: Leave it to The 1975 to build off an earth-shatteringly good teaser single with a follow-up nearly as bad as the first was good. Look, I'm all for politically conscious songwriting, but these lyrics could have been written by any of the interchangeable and smugly ineffective liberal Facebook pages my high school friends repost material from. I can overlook the awful lyricism of "Give Yourself A Try" ("Like context in a modern debate, I just took it out," eurgh) because a) it's only occasional and b) is utterly drowned out by an ecstasy of electric guitars, but here Matty Healy's slacktivist garbage piles are given main billing. One point for the Lil Peep shoutout, one point for the glorious jangles after the second chorus reined in too soon in favor of a bridge that is somehow worse than the verses, and absolutely nothing else. [2]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: I have to give credit where credit is due: this is an evil song that utilizes its structure as a means to elevate and justify its conceptual gambit. Matt Healy reads off a list of provocative phrases that act as a simulacrum of the discouraging news headlines, ironic shitposts and self-impressed hot takes that crowd numerous corners of the internet. The pulsating beat and claustrophobic mix amplify that particular dread, and the swirling harp is the only sound that feels unstuck from it all. It hints at a hope that is later projected in the chorus, but it turns out to be nothing more than a red herring. I don't expect Healy to provide answers -- I'd argue that he took the more effective route in providing a moment of release over anything concrete -- but I don't believe him at all when he says he'd "love it if we made it." This is the sort of dude who finds joy in crassly exploiting the tragedy of others for the sake of art, and it finds its roots in how he decided on the band's name. When the chorus finally breaks free from the monotony, his voice has a smugly arrogant tone that snaps everything into place: Healy is eager to be the source of relief for the trigger warning-necessary lyrics that he doled out in the first place. He can only be a savior for the bullshit he pushes on you, and he'll cover it up by touting we instead of I. As a political statement, this has virtually no worth. As a piece of music, the bridge makes exceedingly clear that this is just an edgy "We Didn't Start The Fire." As a depiction of narcissistic manipulation, this is excellent -- perhaps the best of the year. [0]

Vikram Joseph: Even without the viral billboard advertising campaign, "Love It If We Made It" is much larger than life, but offsets its pretensions with self-aware hyperbole and a streak of pitch-black humour. The genuine venom towards a society that permits Donald Trump and "a beach of drowning three year olds" is undercut by an awareness that we're all tied up in this mess -- they can get away with railing against modern existence without sounding aloof or curmudgeonly, because they're so self-evidently part of it, and, to some extent, in love with it too. The chorus is equal parts earnest optimism and grim humour, which just about epitomises their brand. There have been a lot of "We Didn't Start The Fire" comparisons, but it actually makes me think more of a half-speed, tongue-in-cheek "Ignoreland"; The 1975 feel better having screamed, don't you? [8]

Lauren Gilbert: See, I wrote an entire blurb about how this is "New Americana" v. 2018, and then promptly deleted it to write about what it means for modernity to have failed us. Spoiler alert: Modernity has not failed us, but the specific iteration of modernity of which Healy writes is certainly Not Great. Capital M Modernity is more (and less) than drugs and borders and Trump. At the risk of sounding like the pedantic graduate student I am, modernity is characterized by industrialization, market economies, nation states, individuality, and secularism (surely not the "Jesus save us!" Healy mentions). Healy's Modernity-as-characterized-by-this-song is not that. He's writing about the dissatisfactions of a left-leaning person in the Trump/May/dear-god-why-is-Boris-Johnson-still-around era, a modernity grounded in the specific sociocultural norms and events that shaped how certain rich English-speaking countries experienced in 2018. And if we consider that particular experience of modernity as the only possibility we have, it's pretty easy to conclude "modernity has failed us" and write a "We Didn't Start The Fire" of terrible things. And I'll give Healy some credit; "Love It If We Made It" does sound and feel like living in twenty-fucking-eighteen. But modernity the concept does not imply that we must live in our specific instance of modernity; we do not have to accept Trump and income inequality and in-the-future-everyone-will-be-famous-for-fifteen-minutes Modernity. And more than that, that specific (miserable) modernity is not even the only modernity happening right now. Around the world, people are living longer, healthier lives; fewer people live in extreme poverty; there are fewer wars. Healy's Modernity may feel like a prison, where we are trapped forever in endless cars on endless roads to places we don't want to go, but it is not the only game in town. I (and many others) am alive today because of modern(ity) medicine & honestly, I'll take Donald Trump and Brexit and "thank you, Kanye, very cool" as the price of being alive. Perhaps it's too much to ask for a band known for its cynicism to consider a fuller context, and the very real positives in the world we live in, but hey, why give themselves a try? [4]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[universeinform-blog]

Selena Gomez on Instagram Fatigue

New Post has been published on https://universeinform.com/2017/03/21/selena-gomez-on-instagram-fatigue/

Selena Gomez on Instagram Fatigue

On an unusually moist and windy evening in La, Selena Gomez indicates up at my door with a heavy bag of groceries. We’ve decided that this night’s dinner could be a form of tribute to the after-church Sunday barbecues she recollects from her Texan youth. I already have ten simmering in green salsa, poblano peppers blackening at the flames of the stove, and crimson cabbage wilting in a puddle of lime juice. All we want are Gomez’s famous tacky potatoes—so bad they’re excellent, she guarantees. She sets down her Givenchy purse and brings up, in gaudy succession, a frozen bundle of Massive Eagle Potatoes O’Brien, a can of Campbell’s Cream of hen soup, a bag of shredded “Mexican cheese,” and a squat plastic canister of French’s Crispy Fried Onions. “I wager you didn’t assume we have been going to get this real,” she says, and after I inform her that real isn’t the first word that springs to mind whilst confronted with these ingredients, she responds with the booming conflict-ax laugh that offers a foretaste of Gomez’s many captivating incongruities. However actual is exactly what I used to be awaiting from the 24-yr-vintage Selena, simply as her a hundred and ten million Instagram fans (Selenators, as they’re regarded) have come to expect it. Of course, celeb’s old codes are lengthy gone, MGM’s untouchable eggshell glamor having given manner to the “They’re Much like Us!” generation of documented journeys to the gasoline station and cellulite captured via telephoto lenses. However, Gomez and her ilk have long past similarly nevertheless, using their smartphones to generate a stardom that appears to say now not merely “I’m Just like you” However “I am you.” People so badly wanted me to be true,” she says, laying a tortilla in scorching oil, “and when that came about, sooner or later, it turned into a massive release. I’m no longer extraordinary from what I placed out there. I’ve been very vulnerable with my enthusiasts, and once in a while, I say things I shouldn’t. But I have to be sincere with them. I feel that’s a large a part of why I’m wherein I’m.” Gomez lines her shift towards the unfiltered lower back to a track she launched in 2014 known as “The Heart Wants What It Wishes,” a ballad approximately loving a man she is aware of is awful news. The name derives from a letter written via Emily Dickinson, although Woody Allen reintroduced the phrase when he used it to explain his relationship with Quickly-Yi Previn. We will count on that Gomez is referring here to Justin Bieber, with whom she ended a 3-yr dating at across the time the track debuted.

How To Get Instagram Followers Fast

Instagram is some other of the numerous social networking websites running out on the internet today. It’s far a platform wherein you can share your snapshots privately or publicly. Now, in case you want to reach out to a much wider target market, you need to start amassing your Instagram fans.Instagram online

Here are a few legitimate and tried and examined techniques to get Instagram followers speedy.

Public money owed –

If you have a non-public account, it is most effective your buddies who can see what your percentage. Hence, the first step to getting Instagram fans speedy is to head public. For the ones of your actually involved about privacy, you can constantly preserve a check on what you pick to proportion.

Hashtags –

Instagram uses hashtags to filter out photos. When you look for pictures, the social media community will display all of the photographs with a commonplace hashtag. Popularity isn’t always the only criteria whilst choosing the hashtags to go with your pics. You must also use relevant ones. three is an excellent range of hashtags to use with your image.

Normal uploads –

A dormant account does not normally get too many fans. Instagrammers on an Everyday basis tend to unfollow inactive money owed. Consequently, the approach is to refresh your account with new, original and charming content material.

In general of the thumb, don’t post too little and do not flood your web page. A picture each day is a superb popular.

Use filters –

Why have you to use filters? Nicely, they definitely enhance the appearance of your photographs adding a more personalized touch. This experience of delivered splendor is enough to draw greater followers who love following great paintings. test how a selected filter looks before you actually apply it.

Image collages –

Instead of importing alone Photo, you could integrate multiple pix right into a single one. Such photos are more engaging as they inform a story. There are numerous paid and loose, 1/3 party university makers and image-enhancing apps you can use for the motive.

Time it right –

The maximum breathtaking pics will have no viewers in case you publish it while the whole Instagram community is asleep. The peak times on Instagram are within the morning earlier than paintings and inside the evening after work. This is when maximum Instagrammers take a look at their debts. So, time your uploads proper.

Follow, like and comment –

Yet some other tip to growth your visibility on Instagram is to Comply with others. They could Observe you in go back. Take it a step in addition via liking and commenting on other’s pics and movies. You are in all likelihood to seize the eye of the image owner as Properly his/her fans. It’d spark off them to test out your Instagram account, increasing the likelihood of fans.

Sync with Facebook –

With Fb taking up Instagram, you can now percentage your pix across both the structures with the aid of integrating your Fb and Instagram account. This manner your Instagram activity gets streamed on to Facebook. Fb friends that also have an Instagram account will start following you if they prefer what you upload.

Detroit Could Use Gomez For Pennant Race To Fill Out Injured Roster

The Tigers had been the most lively contender given that final month’s change closing date, looking to fill in for the numerous injuries which have sidelined key players. They’ve misplaced half of their establishing day infield and one 0.33 of their ordinary outfielders, collecting a crowded disabled list.

Just days ago, Detroit engineered a change with the Braves. The Tigers acquired veteran Erick Aybar from Atlanta to help replace injured shortstop Jose Iglesias, who’s on the 15 days D.L.

Even extra these days, Detroit referred to as up utility guy Alex Presley from their Triple-An affiliate in Toledo. Presley became without delay inserted into left discipline against the Boston Red Sox, hoping that the former Mudhen can assist fill the void left through the injured Curtis Granderson.

The team should see an extra on the spot impact if they looked within the course of a former All-Famous person who was Just closing week released by using the Houston Astros, a player that Detroit has to be very familiar with.

In the end, that player, Carlos Gomez, changed into worried in one of the maximum memorable plays that most Tigers fanatics would really like to overlook. Even as gambling for American League imperative rival Minnesota, Gomez scored the run that prevented Detroit from reaching the postseason.

Youtube Selena Gomez

After the closing recreation of the season returned in 2009, Detroit and Minnesota had been dead even atop the department. The two golf equipment had to meet in sport 163, which would decide who could be going to the playoffs.

Now not only did the golf equipment need that extra recreation to decide the champion, but they ended up wanting twelve innings before it changed into ultimately decided. The result thrilled the fanatics at the Metrodome that night, but the sight of Carlos Gomez rounding third and crossing home has been for all time painfully etched into the reminiscences of Detroit lovers as well.

Suffering From Low Energy And Fatigue

Fatigue can deliver a mixture feeling of weariness, tiredness and in standard a loss of electricity. There are many causes for low energy. It is able to be as simple as placing extra electricity into your each day lifestyles to end up extra lively, the much less movement or exercising your frame receives the greater strength it could lose.

Being low on power the maximum commonplace one is nutrition. But, if fatigue is not willing to head away after having made adjustments in your nutrition and activity plan, then It can be caused by any underlying clinical hassle and pleasant see a health practitioner. There are many approaches to offer yourself again the electricity or replace the only you misplaced. Regardless of what age, deficiency can show up to anybody and faster than you think.

The Purpose Of Deficiency

In accordance with research, human beings over 60 are much more likely to have better deficiency levels. The cause at the back of this is, the absorption price lowers as we grow old. The body calls for greater effort to absorb nutrients. Alas, the larger percent of meals our frame receives is lacking crucial nutrients. The principle bulk of meals humans devour is over processed, loaded with sugar and coffee on nutritional values.

To retain a weight loss plan wherein the bigger percentage consumption is over processed and delicate food, this not best will bring forth low power and fatigue, it will weaken the immune device, opens the frame’s defense for any type of infection. refined ingredients are complete of chemical compounds, meals colorings and loaded with preservatives. Including to this is pollution, strain, tension, which all of them drain your body of energy. An unexpected upward push in temperature and humidity will even supply that feeling of low strength. As your frame adjusts to the new temperature this will quickly depart and is not any type of deficiency.vitamins for tired and no energy

A way to Fix The trouble

As stated before, absorption is often the issue as we age. In our food regimen most probably are lacking a few minerals and nutrients and this might be one of the reasons via no longer having the proper absorption. Blockers: It is recognized that positive pills and medication can block your frame’s nutrition consumption, and prevent therefore right absorption.

What do help absorption and occasional electricity are a specific nutrition belonging to the diet B organization Methylcobalamin B-12? Do no longer confuse the call with Cyanocobalamin; keep away from them and take most effective Methylcobalamin B-12, (methyl B-12).

[andrewdburton]

Identity economics: Who are you? And how does it affect your spending?

“Who are you?” my cousin Duane asked me on Saturday afternoon. We'd spent the day playing nerd games together and were taking a break for pizza.

“What?” I said. I wasn't expecting a philosophical question over supper.

“I don't think you know who you are,” Duane said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I don't think you know who you are,” he repeated. “You write about money and frugality, yet you spend $200 on dinner.” Duane was referring to the fancy meal we'd had in May at a Michelin-star restaurant in France. I knew it had been bugging him, but he hadn't said anything about it until now. (And that meal cost $267.41 for the two of us, not $200.)

“You paid $1900 for your used pickup, but you don't wash it. It's filthy. You buy new clothes that you don't need, but you leave your old clothes on the floor so that your cats pee on them.” It's true. Kim and I have a cat that will, from time to time, pee on my clothes.

“You say you don't like attention, that you don't want to be a celebrity, yet you're always taking on new work that puts you in the spotlight. You're thinking of doing a course for Audible, for instance, and you're talking about doing more speaking gigs — even though you hate speaking gigs,” Duane said.

All of these things were true. I couldn't argue.

“Who are you?” Duane asked. Well, that's a mighty fine question, Duane. That's a mighty fine question.

A Digression

In 1862, French novelist Victor Hugo published Les Miserables, one of the greatest novels of the nineteenth century. Long and sprawling and full of digressions (just like Get Rich Slowly!), the book explores the many facets of human nature: the good and bad, the humorous and poignant, the ordinary and sublime.

Les Miserables wasn't popular with critics when it was released, but everybody else loved it. It sold well when it was published and continues to sell well more than 150 years later. The book has inspired several several film and television adaptations. And, of course, it's the source of one of the most successful stage musicals of all time.

Turns out PBS recently aired a new six-part Les Miserables miniseries written by the always-awesome Andrew Davies. It's on my watch list.

Although Les Miserables contains a ginormous cast of characters, two stand at the heart of the story:

Jean Valjean is the novel's protagonist. Arrested for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his sister's seven starving children, he spends nineteen years in prison (five for the original crime, fourteen more for various misdeeds). Upon parole, he assumes the identity of Monsieur Madeleine. As Madeleine, he builds two factories, becomes rich, and is appointed mayor of a small seaside town. Valjean is a good man who occasionally finds himself on the wrong side of the law.

Javert is the novel's antagonist. (It's not right to call him a villain. Nothing about him is villanous.) Born in prison to deplorable parents, he grows up to become a prison guard — then police inspector. Javert is obsessed with upholding the law, which includes pursuing and punishing Valjean for his past misdeeds. His worldview is shattered when he realizes that not all laws are moral, that sometimes the moral course is not the lawful one.

What's fascinating — mind-blowing, actually — is that Victor Hugo based both Valjean and Javert on the exact same real-life person. They're both loosely modelled on Eugène François Vidocq, a French criminal turned criminalist. (You should open that link in a separate tab for later reading. Vidocq's life is fascinating. Among other things, he's regarded as the first-ever private detective and the “father” of modern criminology.)

That's right: Both the protagonist and the antagonist of Les Miserables were inspired by the same man. And, even more mind-blowing? Vidocq was also the inspiration for Sherlock Holmes. (Go read that article!)

Who Am I?

The amazing thing (to me) is that Jean Valjean himself is two people! He is Jean Valjean, yes, but he spends years posing as Monsieur Madeleine. As the latter, he's a wealthy factory owner, he's mayor of Montreuil-sur-Mer. He is a force for good in his small world. He is, at once, both Valjean and Madeleine, just as Vidocq is at once both Valjean and Javert.

In a 2012 New Yorker piece praising “the persistent greatness” of Les Miserables, Adam Gopnik wrote, “Hugo believed in, relished, luxuriated in, contradiction — he thought that we show ourselves most truly when we are seemingly most opposed to our double natures.”

When I posted about this on Facebook in April, John from ESI Money observed that this adds a whole new meaning to the song “Who Am I?” from the musical.

“Who am I?” Valjean sings as he's forced to reveal his identity in order to save an innocent man. “Who am I? I'm Jean Valjean!”

Yes, that's true — but Jean Valjean is also police inspector Javert.

True story: I'm a devoted fan of musical theater, and “Who Am I?” is one of my favorite songs from any show. It induces frisson — it gives me goosebumps — every time I hear it. Every time.

What I like about this clever bit of character creation from Victor Hugo is how it highlights our inherent dual natures. We, as humans, are inconsistent. We are complex creatures. At the same time, we can be both good and bad. I truly believe that most of us do what is right most of the time — but each of us also sometimes makes poor choices. We do things that seem to go against who we say we are and what we believe.

In Valjean and Javert, we get to see human nature dramatized in two men forever at odds, just as we are each forever at odds with ourselves.

Me, Myself, and I

As I was walking the dog this morning, I found myself meditating on my own personal duality. I am at once the hardest working person I know…and the laziest. I am the smartest person I know…and the stupidest. I am the kindest person I know…and the meanest.

Recently, I've grown increasingly frustrated with my seeming inability to “do the right thing”. I know that there are certain actions I could take (and should take) to improve my health, to build this website, to maintain relationships with my friends. Yet I do not do these things. I actively avoid them.

Why is this?

Here's an example. I could solve a whole host of problems if I were to get regular aerobic exercise. Over the past year, I've done a fine job of strength training, but for some reason I've become allergic to sweat. I do whatever I can to avoid running or biking or otherwise increasing my heart rate.

It's not that I can't do these things. I know I can. And I like them. I've run half marathons (and walked a full marathon). I've completed a century ride — one-hundred miserable miles on a hot and windy summer day. I did Crossfit for five years. I'm capable of strenuous exercise, and I know it.

But I'm not doing that exercise right now. I'm avoiding it.

Three months ago, as the sun started to show its face here in Portland, I wheeled my bicycle from the bottom of the hill to the back office. I wanted to make it easy to hop in the saddle and go. But you know what? I've ridden the thing exactly once this year. The bike is just sitting there, pleading with me to ride it.

The same goes with the website. You all know that I can crank out an article a day. I did it for three years between 2006 and 2009. I did it for the first three months of 2018. When I put my mind to it, I can write well without sacrificing quality.

Yet, for some reason, it's tough for me to publish even once a week lately. My mind is elsewhere. I have no inspiration. This wouldn't be so bad if I were at least handling other site maintenance chores, but I'm not. The site redesign is nearly finished, but it isn't live because there are still things I need to do. I'm not processing guest articles. I'm not posting to social media.

I've no doubt that some of this malaise stems from my chronic depression. But I also know the best way to shake the self-loathing is to actually do something, you know?

Which leads me to fundamental question I find myself facing: If I know what is right, why don't I do it?

I have no answer.

Impossible Expectations

This year, as every year, my depression and anxiety became especially strong during the spring. What's different about this year is that I sought out a therapist.

A few weeks ago, she asked me about my writing. We hadn't talked about it before. “What does success look like for you when it comes to your work?” she asked.

“Success means publishing three articles per week,” I said.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because then I'm giving my readers lots of material. I'm helping them. When I give them a lot of material, they want to come back more often. When I publish more material, more people find the site by search. When I publish more material, I make more money.”

“So, you want to publish three times per week?”

“I guess so,” I said. I thought about it a little. “But I hate the pressure that pace puts on me.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because I don't enjoy it. I don't do great work under time pressure like that. I want to take my time. If I decide to write an article on, say, the history of retirement, then I want to read a book on the subject. Maybe two or three. I want to think deeply about it. Then, I want to take the time to write the best article out there about the history of retirement.”

“You realize you've just told me two very different things, right?” my therapist said. “You've set up contradictory goals for yourself. Plus, you're asking yourself to be the best. That's a tall order. No wonder you're stressed. You have impossible expectations for yourself.”

When I think about it, my therapist is right. I do have impossible expectations for myself — on a lot of things. I have contradictory goals. It's as if there's a Jean Valjean inside of me and an Inspector Javert. And they want different things. Neither is wrong — but they can't both have their way.

But to which do I yield? Am I Valjean or Javert?

At the end of the session, I lamented my dual nature. “I tell other people to be proactive,” I said, “to take charge of their own lives, but I have a hard time doing that myself.”

“Do you think that makes you a hypocrite?” my therapist asked.

“No,” I said without hesitation.

“Good,” she said.

“I think it makes me human,” I said. “I write about the things I struggle with personally. When I started writing about money and getting out of debt, that's because I needed to get out of debt. Now, when I write about tracking spending or having a sense of purpose, that's because I need these things.”

Mindful Spending

So, this is all very interesting on a philosophical level, but what does it have to do with personal finance? Lots, actually.

We make our purchasing decisions based on who we are and who we want to be. If we're not clear on who we are and who we want to be, our choices tend to be arbitrary. They're spontaneous and not based on anything other than immediate desire.

When you're clear on who you are and what you want, it's much easier to practice mindful spending, to be deliberate about the things you buy and own. If you identify as fitness-conscious, for instance, you'll be much less likely to be tempted by cookies and snacks in the grocery store. If, like me at the moment, you identify as a “lapsed” fitness junkie, well then it's much easier to succumb to temptation.

Who we want to be also affects how we spend. In fact, I suspect that much wasted spending — not just for me, but for everybody — is what I'd call “aspirational”. It's not based on our actual habits and actions but on what we wish we did.

Take my bike, for example. I bought it last year but have ridden it only three times in fifteen months. Like I mentioned earlier, it simply sits there, pleading with me to ride it.

I have a good friend who once decided he'd like to learn woodworking. His father had always built and repaired things around the house, and my friend aspired to do the same — even though he had never done so in 35 years of life. He bought a stack of woodworking books, then acquired several expensive tools. He never used them. These were aspirational purchases, based on somebody he wanted to be, not the person he was.

From what I've seen, a lot of folks do this sort of thing with cookbooks. They want to try new recipes and new cuisines, so they gradually fill a shelf with cooking manuals — cooking manuals that they seldom use.

It's because of this relationship between money and identity that I'm so insistent that GRS readers write a personal mission statement. When you're clear on your purpose, it's much easier to make sure your spending is aligned with your values, that your financial decisions are based on who you are instead of some idealized version of who you want to be.

Identity Economics

In their fascinating (if dry and academic) book Identity Economics, George Akerlof and Rachel Kranton explore how our identities shape our work, wages, and well-being.

“In every social context,” the authors write, “people have a notion of who they are, which is associated with beliefs about how they and others are supposed to behave. These notions…play important roles in how economies work.” Our identities determine how we earn a living and how we spend our money.

Akerloff and Kranton say that large portions of our identities are shaped by the environment:

Identity, norms, and social categories may appear to be abstract concepts, but their reality is both powerful and easy to see. Norms are particularly clear when people hold an ideal of who they should be and how they should act.

Here's an example: Many folks who discover the early retirement movement do so through the awesome work of Mr. Money Mustache. He has a strong voice and a popular website. Over the past few years, he's accumulated a passionate army of followers who call themselves Mustachians.

When a person identifies himself as Mustachian, he subscribes to a certain set of values, to particular ways of working with money. Driving is frowned upon. A high saving rate is encouraged. Thrift is a prized virtue. This is identity economics in action.

Akerloff and Kranton are careful to note that our personal identities are not static. They change. Our larger identities change slowly over time, but we can also shift roles rapidly in daily life.

The latter is easiest to see. “Over the course of a day,” they write, “a woman may see herself as a mother at home and a professional at work.” I'd add that she might see herself as an athlete in her running group, a civic leader as a member of the city council, and a Mustachian when she's hanging with her financial friends online.

Each of these is a different identity — or perhaps a different facet of her overall identity. And each affects how she works, saves, and spends.

People change over their lifetimes too. From the book:

People often make decisions that come back to haunt them. We overeat, we smoke, we spend too much, and we regret it. [This is due to] time inconsistency. People have different selves at different points in their lives. The new self could regret the decisions made by the old self…

Sometimes these transitions are anticipated, and people plan accordingly. But often, people only imperfectly anticipate who they will later become.

Look at my own life over the past decade. Who I am today is drastically different than who I was ten years ago. And twenty years ago. Sure, the core J.D. remains the same — once a nerd, always a nerd! — but my values, which are constantly evolving, have morphed and my day-to-day life is sometimes unrecognizable.

During the past ten years, much about my personal identity (and my resulting financial choices) has changed:

I deliberately chose to purchase a small home in “the country”.

I drink beer. I drink coffee. I ride a motorcycle. All of these actions are new.

I lost fifty pounds through years of exercise and healthy eating. Then I gained back forty of those pounds through years of neglect.

I sold Get Rich Slowly — then I bought it back.

These changes, large and small, all affect how I manage my money and how I spend my time. As my identity changes, so do my financial habits.

Related reading: In a strange coincidence, The Guardian published an article on a similar subject last Saturday: “Are you really the ‘real' you?” This piece, which is terrific and well worth reading, looks at how some people change their lives entirely — and why.

Order and Light

At the end of the Les Miserables, after Jean Valjean frees Javert instead of killing him, the police inspector faces an existential crisis. Victor Hugo writes:

He saw before him two roads, both equally straight; but he saw two; and that terrified him — him, who who had never in his life known but one straight line. And, bitter anguish, these two roads were contradictory. One of these two straight lines excluded the other. Which of the two was the true one? His condition was inexpressible.

Inspector Javert's moral certitude proves to be his undoing. Like many folks who are certain they know what is real and what is right, Javert spends years ignoring evidence that controverts his beliefs. He thinks he knows the truth but in reality is blind to it.

When, at last, Javert recognizes that he's been in error all this time, that things are not as black and white as he believed them to be, it's too much for him to bear. Rather than face a world filled with ambiguity and uncertainty, he takes his own life. He jumps in the river and drowns.

Before he kills himself, though, Javert has a sort of revelation. He realizes that Jean Valjean and his alter-ego, Monsieur Madeleine, may have seemed like two different people, but they were one all along. They were two sides of the same person. Valjean was both criminal and hero.

It's all well and good to want to be a fixed, constant person, to have an identity that never changes. But that's not how healthy people work. Healthy people learn and adapt and grow. Who you are today is not the same as who you'll be tomorrow — or who you were yesterday.

As you change, your values will change too. Your goals will change. Your spending will change. What you want to do for work will change. And, yes, there will be many times when you are internally conflicted, when like Javert you are faced with two parallel roads, both of which are “true”.

Summing Up

Who am I? That's a great question.

I'm a guy who writes about money and frugality, but I'm also a man who is willing to — once in a lifetime — spend $267.41 to experience a Michelin-star restaurant in rural France. That's a clear example of mindful spending: I planned the meal weeks in advance and looked forward to it with great anticipation.

I'm a guy who can't bring himself to purchase a new car, so I buy a 25-year-old pickup for $1900. And I don't wash it. I value the vehicle but see no sense in spending the time, money, and energy to clean something that will never look pretty.

I'm a guy who buys new clothes from time to time — don't we all? — but who, yes, is careless enough to leave them on the bedroom floor even though I know my cat likes to pee on them. (Stupid cat!)

I'm a guy who hates public speaking and who doesn't want to be the center of attention, yet who has a deep desire to teach people about personal finance. (Especially the personal side of it all.) This leads me to do things that seem incongruent with what I say I want. I take on months-long projects that stress me out. I agree to fly across the world to talk to people. (Just yesterday, Paula Pant and I had a conversation about how the hassle of attending events is worth it for the friends we make.)

Who am I? I'm J.D. Roth.

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