#am i. drunk enough to start making webweaving posts finally

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

omg ok im on saltburn rewatch #???? and smth just hit me. weve all been sort of operating under the assumption that what olivers mum says about him is true. taking the idea that he actively avoided socialization, avoided friends, kept to himself, at face value. but honestly?? i feel like it was the exact opposite. bc the first time he sees felix (assuming that the first time WE see felix in oxford is in fact the first time oliver sees him, as olivers telling would have us believe) its not like, some romantic shot of just felix himself. its very specifically *felix surrounded by the people who oliver was preemptively rejected by, whom felix has obviously charmed*. and like. if oliver was in fact a willful loner, like micheal gavey (although even there, the willful part is debateable, given the bitter undertone to his whole rant about not being invited to the christmas party), then hed have no reason to be so....disgusted? by micheals embracing of his loner status? oliver really strikes me as the type who truly wanted connection, but was socially shunned throughout middle and high school, and lied about it to his parents so as to duck the humiliation of facing their pity. he got them to think that he *wanted* to be alone. just like he got them to think hes on the rowing team. hes treating oxford as a fresh start, but hes still in his old habits of lying to his parents, and he still has his old wants. the first time he walks through the archway into oxford, hes insulted by people who dont even know him. and then, alone, peeping through a window, he sees felix. surrounded by friends. which is to say, i think he first falls in love not with felix as a person, but with what felix represents to him: *acceptance*. i know theres a lot of arguement whether oliver wanted felix OR saltburn, love OR wealth, to be with felix OR be him, but i swear to god, i really truly believe that at its core its both. this entire movie is about oliver conflating the two. he is drawn in by felix's halo effect, not just as a subject of his gravitational field, but as an aspiring planet himself.

anyways. stream The Last Of The Real Ones by fall out boy its so cattonquick i wanna puke