#am i sleepy stressed or angry
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neverendingford · 1 year ago
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#tag talk#I've started using music to fall asleep to. because if you watch a video and start to feel sleepy but then stop once you close the video?#the answer is to leave the video running while you fall asleep of course#I'm using music not talking so I don't dream funky and sleep restlessly.#it probably says horrible things about my ability to calm down. rest. and not need distraction. but anything that helps right?#idk. the brain's inability to sit with any sort of quiet. any sort of space to think.#I can't stand when nothing is happening because then I have time to think my own thoughts.#I'm just high school again. which... yeah I'm stressed to hell so it makes sense. but it's annoying and a little disappointing#disappointing that enough stress can just revert me back. I know I'll bounce back faster and more healthily because of the work I've done#but it's still annoying to be back in this same place#how can you move on when you're constantly visiting your old self?#is it nostalgia? trauma? a secret other thing? perhaps all of them at once? I don't know.#I can never be estranged from my bio sex because I'm him all the time.#things get bad and I'm just that terrified little kid who's convinced everyone can read his mind and hates him and wants to hurt him.#and then I'm older me. angry and ready to hurt anyone who touches us. because I'm fucking done with getting pushed around#but I want to get back to me. I want to get back to smiling and laughing so hard I have to lie down on the cold kitchen tile to calm down#one of my minecraft kids told me yesterday that his face hurt from smiling so much while talking to me. that's the kind of person I am now#and I want to be that. I want to be her. I want to be me. I'm so tired of bouncing between past and present.#what does it say that my protective mode is a man and my emotionally honest mode is a woman? idk#trans men often live more emotionally honest and authentic when they transition. obviously my experience will be limited data#I don't think it means anything except the inherent fear that is perhaps characterized so often in trans-women experiences#the fear that becoming myself is somehow reductive of gender roles. the fear that I'm confirming some deeply held bias#which is bullshit. I can be who I want. and I certainly can be who I AM. I just. I want to be me. I want to lose the pressure#because sharing my experiences with others in a way that improves other people's lives is what I want from life.#hmmmm. just had a thought about how minecraft allows me to express whichever side of me I want.#the eager insufferable know it all kid who just wanted to create the world in his own image.#the paranoid and nervous maniac who just wanted everything ordered properly and for it to stay predictable for even just two fucking minutes#and me. the one who wants to create things with others. to engineer collaborative experiences and to build others up and make them happier#idk. I vibe with a lot of stuff I read about did but I really don't match so none of this is trying to pretend or co-opt identity.#but idk. I'm so tired of being split between these eras of my life and getting thrown back into one of those people when things get bad
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sturnsdarling · 3 months ago
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are you still awake?
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Chris and y/n had a stupid fight, but he refuses to go to bed angry
part two
vibe check: fluffy and suggestive towards the end, softie!chris, mentions of fighting etc, you get the jist bro
900 words
A/N: I LOVE CHRIS he's so fricken cute I wanna pull my hair out. kid said he can't go to bed angry at his brothers and I died. anyways enjoy this blurb of my little angel baby princess
love and cigs, merc
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You and Chris were laying back to back in his bedroom, feet tangled in each others at the foot of the bed. The room was completely dark, a light patter of warm LA rain creating the perfect atmosphere in the room for you to slip into a peaceful sleep. You were stretched out in his bed, hugging the cold side of your pillow as you dozed off, having had a long and stressful day, all you wanted to do was sleep.
Chris on the other hand, was wide awake. He had been tossing and turning for hours, unable to quiet his mind. Earlier that day, you guys had a stupid argument that was so pointless you didn't even remember how it started. After a back and forth of who's right and who's wrong, you took off in a huff and told Chris you were going to bed, because you couldn't be bothered to argue with him anymore. In the moment, he didn't care, angry enough to let you fall asleep by yourself.
But that was earlier, and after he crawled into bed, the sight of you peacefully tucked up in his sheets stripped him of any lingering anger, and all he wanted was to make sure that you were okay.
"baby" Chris whispered, turning to place a gentle hand on the side of your shoulder.
you didn't respond, only hugged the pillow tighter with a soft groan.
"baby" he repeated, "are you still awake?"
you groaned slightly, face smushed against your pillow as your eyes fluttered, "I am now, Chris"
Chris' arm gently wrapped around your waist and he peppered soft kisses on your bare shoulder, "I can't sleep after what happened earlier" he said softly.
"what are you talking about?" you sighed, turning round to face him, desperately trying to pry your eyes open.
He hovered over you, brushing your bed tangled hair from your face, "I can't go to sleep if I know we're not okay"
A long exhale left your nose as you rolled your eyes slightly, "we're fine, Chris, please go to sleep" you said, attempting to turn back to your comfortable position.
Chris couldn't accept that, he pulled you by the shoulder back over to face him, "what if tonight is the night one of us dies in our sleep? d'you really want to have to go on knowing that our last conversation was a fight?"
You tiredly chuckled, "you're ridiculous" you said, rolling your eyes slightly as a smile crept its way onto your face.
" m'serious, baby, I can't sleep knowing we're not good" he whined slightly, "m'sorry for everything I said, y'know I didn't mean it"
Your hand found his face in the dark, the light from the moon illuminating his soft features slightly as it crept its way through his blinds. An uncontrollable smile lingered on your lips as he pushed his cheek further into your touch.
"I'm sorry too, my love, it was stupid"
Chris grinned and lowered his lips to yours, pressing a soft and tender kiss over them, his hand hooked round your jaw. He broke the kiss gently, rubbing a caring thumb over your cheek as he did.
"can I go back to sleep now?" you muttered, your tiredness creeping back up on you.
"yes, baby, go to sleep, I love you" Chris replied, shifting so he was tucked behind you. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into him so tight you'd think he was afraid you'd slip away
"I love you more" you said with a sleepy groan, nestling yourself back into him, his frame engulfing you in a comfortable warmth.
"not possible" he whispered, pressing a loving kiss onto your shoulder.
You let out a tired hum at his words, pushing back into him even more as your legs intertwined with his. The feeling of your skin against his, your nearly bare ass pressing back into him and the sound of your sleepy whines all going straight to his crotch. The blood in his body started to rush downwards, and he found himself absentmindedly grinding his hips against the soft flesh of your ass.
His movements brought you back out of your approaching slumber and you instinctively pushed back against his now painfully hard length, the feeling of his hard cock making you giggle slightly.
"Really, Chris? now?" you whispered
Chris groaned slightly, grinding into you harder, "I cant help it, baby, y'know how I get after our post fight make up convos" he whined, referring to how every time you guys would fight and make up, you telling him that you loved him and that everything was okay just did something to him.
You brought your hand up behind you and raked it through his long curls, tugging at the root slightly as you massaged his scalp, giving in and grinding your ass back against his movements
The sensation made Chris whimper, and he began to nip and suck at your neck, "s'that a yes?" he said, still grinding into you
you chuckled, moving your hand down to palm him over his boxers, "yes, Chris, but you're doing all the work" your words muffled by your pillow.
Chris' hips bucked up into your hand, a boyish excitement filling his brain "s'fine by me, baby, you don't have to move at all, I jus wanna put it in for a lil, need t'feel you around me"
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A/N: smutty part two? lmk
taglist: @sturniozalt @mattslolita @shaquilles-0atmeal @blahbel668 @sleepysturniolo @le4hsblog 
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rene-spade · 9 months ago
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my man isn’t creepy! i | f1 grid
growing up leclerc au !
fem! leclerc! reader x f1 grid, leclerc family
part i: carlos sainz, daniel ricciardo, oscar piastri, pierre gasly & kika gomes
synopsis. when the youngest leclerc finds her partners’ ‘shrine’ of her, but she’s a leclerc so the red flags aren’t all that red
WARNING(s); i like em crazy y’all, obsessive/possessive behavior, implied stalking/shrines, unhealthy relationship dynamics, sexual implications but no smut
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carlos sainz.
“What is it?” You asked, head tilted to the side as you look up at your boyfriend. The Spaniard melted, muttering a curse to himself and running his hands through his thick hair. He felt hot, nervous for what the outcome of this discussion could be.
“Dios mío, ángel, it’s— it is not what you think— nothing bad. I am just embarrassed is all.” He reassured, big hands gripping at your shoulders. But he knew it was a bit bad, even his enabling family members were worried he’d freak you out if you saw. His movements were made to comfort you, but you could tell they were more self-soothing. Arthur had a similar habit whenever you got upset with him, too.
You only frowned, but it fueled Carlos’ panic.
“Mi amor, I will do whatever you ask-! You know this. I will let you in when it’s cleaned, I swear it.” He pulled you into his chest, arms fully embracing you. But you squirmed out of his hold, making him respond with an unhappy attempt to coo you back into comfort.
“You’re hiding something in there, Carlos. This is the first time I’m staying with you in your home since we started dating, let me see.” And at the sight of your big, beautiful, angry eyes, how could he refuse an Angel? With a twitch of his fingers, Carlos unlocked the door without any movement to push it open.
With a short huff, you pushed yourself through the door, only pausing at seeing at the sheer amount of merchandise that covered every surface. It was all you-themed, from posters and cut-outs, down to a body-pillow and even an outfit you’d only worn once for a runway show. There was a glass shelf with your old perfumes, newer ones too, and photos everywhere.
“Carlos….” You began, covering your mouth with your fingers and stepping further in.
“I know—! But I liked you so much before we started seeing each other and I- I am just a passionate man is all, my whole family says so—!” You cut off his red-faced rambling with a beaming grin.
“Ouah! I didn’t know you were a super fan before we met!” You giggled, mumbling to yourself in French about the various things he’d collected. “maybe you are a bit extreme, but it’s kind of cute, no?”
“¿En serio? Sí, mi perla!” He breathed shakily before grinning, “I should have known you’d understand! Mis hermanas se burlaron de mí, ¿sabes? But it was all silly…” (You’re serious? Yes, my pearl! My sisters teased me, you know?)
“What are you saying? Your sisters… something? I’m still learning, mon chéri.” You pout at him, in a much better mood now that you knew what your boyfriend was hiding behind the door he seemed so desperate to keep you away from.
He shook his head, hair messy after having run his fingers through it many times due to stress, “We should have dinner with them tonight while we’re still in Spain, I said. Let’s go back downstairs?”
“Why? Got anything weird?”
“Don’t say things like that, amor!”
♤ ♤ ♤
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daniel ricciardo.
“Danny…?”
“Shit-!” He jumped out of surprise, dropping the box he was reaching from the top shelf of the closet.
“Oh, I’m sorry, mon soleil!” You squeaked, jumping back as well. You hadn’t meant to scare him, but it wasn’t your fault he was so focused in the dead of night. You were just curious is all. The box he dropped was was rectangular in shape, but easily bigger than a shoebox. You shot him a sleepy grin, “What do you have there?”
He sighed, shaking his head, “Why are you up, sleepy girl? Get back to bed, I’ll be right there. Didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“I’m up because you’re up.” You wrinkled your nose, inching closer to him with a small blanket in your arms. You tried to get a glimpse of what fell out of the box, but Daniel wrapped himself around you so you couldn’t see. He wrestled the blanket from your fingers, careful not to be rough with long nails, and threw it over your head with smile.
As you wrestled, your boyfriend only laughed and placed kisses on any part of you he could without being hit by your flying limbs, “Pretty things like you should be asleep. Your brothers would kill me if they knew I disturbed your beauty rest.”
“Are you trying to hide something from me?” You pulled the blanket off your head, hair a mess.
Daniel froze, jaw clenching as he tried to hold a toothy smile. But he didn’t have it in him to lie to you. The moment was completely still, before you finally broke eye contact and crept passed him to see the mess on the floor. You could hear Danny gulp as you plucked the first item from the ground; a pretty, navy blue set of lacy underwear. Yours, yes. But from ages ago, you swore you lost them. Then there were a few pieces of jewelry, a lipstick tube, a silk scrunchie, a press-on nail, a red heel, and two pieces of now-hardened chewing gum. All yours from various points of this past year.
“Daniel,” no, not the first name, he begged internally, squeezing his eyes shut, deciding to just wait for the inevitable disgust and rejection. You never called him by his full first name, only sweet ‘danny’s his way, sometimes ‘mon soleil’ or ‘sunshine’.
“You know you can just ask for my things, yes? You don’t have to take.” You were looking right up at him, navy colored panties still in your hand like you didn’t even mind that he took them. His reasoning couldn’t have been pure, you know that.
You hummed, pulling at his fingers so you can shove the underwear into his balled up fist, “lá.”
“Perfect girl.” He muttered, pulling you back into him and dragging you to bed, “give me the pair you have on then, yeah?”
♤ ♤ ♤
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max verstappen.
It wasn’t always like this with you— you used to be just Charles “track terror” Leclerc’s pretty little sister, a little girl. But now it was years later and you’ve become something perfect and irresistible— something he can’t live without. He knows he’d resorted to some immoral, if not a little creepy, behaviors, but it’s not like he’s one of those guys that would ever hurt you. No, you’re a deity to him. He told his sister about his feelings at one point (even thought about showing her the shrine), but she told him— “This is all because you watched You!” The Netflix show that follows a stalker.
So he took down the shrine— moving most of it into his bedside drawer and the rest under his bed. But he realized he didn’t think it all the way through when he had you in his room for the first time; all pretty and perfect and curious.
“Good race, Maxie.” You hopped back onto the bed, your hair bouncing as you landed, “You’re so tense and for what, huh?”
Max had just a little bit of shame about the whole thing, but maybe not too much. I mean, his body definitely felt some kind of physical guilt or something if you’re judging him by the shaking and sweating— but his mind was happy. You were here with him in his home. In fact, the physical reaction might just be from seeing you curled up in his bed. But you’re close to finding out how… intense he was. (As his mother would say.)
“Sorry, lief, I’m just tired and you’re distracting me by being cute.” He smiled down at you as he began to change, “you need a shirt to wear?”
“Yes, s'il te plaît. Hey, can I put my bracelets in here—? oh!” He’d barely turned his back for a second, just long enough to remove his shirt, but that’s all it took for you to pull the drawer open and see the copious amount of photos of you (some edited to have him in them) and unsent love letters.
“It’s not a shrine— I’m not a creep! It’s just some things I made back before we got together—! You weren’t supposed to see them!” He was trying to shove some of the papers back in, but you were already skimming one of the letters.
“Mijn hart,” he winced at seeing the one you had— one of the more unhinged ones. The worst of it was in Dutch, so that worked out for him at least.
“Oh c’mon, Maxie! It’s kind of sweet! You had such a big crush on me! It’s a little hot, even.”
He grew even more red and fidgety at that, “Shit.”
You giggled at the words you could understand before he wrestled the page out of your grip. You grabbed him and pressed a kiss to his cheek before he could stray too far.
“From Max Verstappen-Leclerc, hm?”
♤ ♤ ♤
oscar piastri.
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“Can’t I just grab a hoodie, Osc?” You questioned as he held you in place on the counter, from his spot between your legs, still in his race suit.
“You don’t need one, Lovey, it’s hot.” He pressed himself into you so he could feel you breathe better. You’d asked for a jacket the moment you’d entered his freezing trailer just after the race. He saw you go for the closet and quickly redirected you onto the counter.
“Non, you’re hot because you just raced in a little car for hours and now you’re all over me. I am normal temperature.”
“Cold?”
“Yes.”
“Then get closer, I’m hot.”
You huff obnoxiously like the pretty spoiled girl you are and Oscar can feel the rush of serotonin he got just from the sound. He knew this is the part where you’d get cute and pretend to pick a fight, his sweet thing. But bad timing— he’s desperate to hide his secret now.
“I can’t get any closer to you if I trieddd. What? You have a girl hiding in that closet? Hm?” He scoffed into your shoulder, but stiffened, knowing just what was behind that door.
You gasped dramatically, likely playing it up to get what you wanted (a tactic you used with your brothers, Oscar noticed), “You do! Irréelle!”
“I don’t!” His face shot up from your shoulder, brows furrowed, but he didn’t let you go, “You know I don’t like any other girls!”
“Then you need to show me so I can be sure! And I’m still cold.” You crossed your arms and pulled your knees together to get him to back up.
“I can’t.” He choked out. “There’s— it’s just— I have this thing—”
You hopped down and booked it across the trailer before he could reach out and stop you, yanking the door open to see what your new boyfriend was hiding.
You breathed out a dramatic sigh of relief at the sight, “Goodness, Osc.” Rather than finding a person, you instead found some sort of… collection? Collage of yourself and your things? Photos mostly, magazines, and lots of hearts drawn on articles about you.
Oscar grabbed you by the shoulders and quickly spun you around into him, slamming the door, “You saw?”
Looking up at him with big eyes, you nodded, “Yeah, why? You really like me that much?”
“What? Yes— yeah I do. You—? Okay.”
♤ ♤ ♤
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pierre gasly. | kika gomes.
“I’m prepared to blame you for this if Charles finds it.” Pierre breathed, looking at the start of his girlfriend’s collection of your things. Kika scoffed, a smile playing at her lips as she re-organizes your makeup. Mostly lip balms, you’d let her borrow some of your things, not knowing she wasn’t going to give any of it back. Kika even managed to get a few skirts from you as well. The small framed photo of you sitting in her vanity was just a personal touch.
Pierre would be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed, but he could say he wasn’t surprised. He and Kika were a good couple, a good duo in general, but especially when it came to drawing you in. Because Pierre was such a good friend to Charles, it came pretty easy; Charles was easier on him around you. Unfortunately, that grace didn’t extend to Kika just because they were dating. Charles had something of a sixth sense for when pretty girls liked his pretty sister; so he was on to Kika. Where at the beginning it was nothing to get you alone with them, it was now next to impossible.
“Pierre? Kika? Are you home?” Wow it’s like they could hear your pretty voice— oh wait they gave you a key. To their apartment. In Monaco, where you live and you can really just waltz in and see all of the things they took (—yes they, Pierre is a thief too—)
Like two naughty school children, the couple shot up to cover what they’d done before you could reach their bedroom. This was their fault naturally, none of yours at all, they were the ones who encouraged you to come over whenever physically possible.
“Grab everything and I’ll distract her!” Kika whispered, rushing to slip out of the room.
Before the ‘not fair-’ could slip from his lips, his girlfriend was off to catch you, brushing passed him and leaving the door cracked. He could hear your surprised greeting, a cute squeak escaping you, before Kika saying something like ‘Oh, Pierre is busy now’, then silence. Pulling the handle back just an inch, he peaked outside to see Kika’s lips not even a centimeter from your own, her hands gripping your jacket for dear life.
“Oh, pretty girls, ce n'est tout simplement pas juste.” Slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it. Your eyes shot to his, but Kika’s remained trained on your face. After just a second, your gaze drifted to Kika’s vanity behind him.
The couple froze, you saw. Pierre pulled the door shut behind him as Kika’s mouth opened to form words.
“Oi! Get your hands off my little sister, huh? Démon impoli et pratique, seriously.” Charles slipped into the living room from the front hallway, having obviously accompanied his little sister in her visit.
“Non, Charlie, Kika helped me when I almost tripped.” You smiled at your brother, quickly covering for them, “I was just coming to see if I could get my jean skirt back?”
You looked up at her so sweet and she thinks you’re blushing—“Oh.” She squeaked, “yes, no problem. Pierre.”
“I’ll get it for her, mate.”
“surveille ta copine. je ne suis pas aveugle, mate.”
♤ ♤ ♤
Your man (s girlfriend) is definitely creepy, girl.
note; I made kika and pierres a lil longer bc they’re two ppl so yeah ft charles
thinking part ii with lando, mick (ft the schumachers), lewis, lance, alex & lily, george and carmen?
- ren
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the-fiction-witch · 4 months ago
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My King
Media - House Of The Dragon Character - Aegon Targaryen Couple - Aegon X Reader Reader - Y/n Targaryen (Aegons Wife) Rating - Sweet + Smut Word Count - 1330
Requested - I submitted a request/idea like this to another writer but I will not keep this like head canon idea type thing to myself........ Aegon is 100% the type to love his girl breastfeeding him... him being all stressed and angry or sad from the council not listening to him and Alicent being cruel and everything and he just wants to lay his head in her lap and latch his mouth onto her nipple and drink in her sweet milk... it makes him feel at peace... makes him feel wanted and loved and special
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Writers Notes - I actually loved this idea so much I made two versions of it, cause I couldn't decide which angle I liked better so this is Version one a second will be coming soon.
Y/n sat in the royal chambers, perched softly on the ottoman beside the fire. Wearing her sweet soft green cotton gown with long off-shoulder sleeves. The twilight of the hour cascades purple and gold across the floor and tapestry-lined walls. Maids and guards long since sent away leaving only gentle sounds behind, The sound of the fire's soft crackles and pops, the sounds of gentle sucking, and of sweet heavenly humming.
Y/n hums softly to the baby in her arms, his little body cradled so sweetly and gently as the new prince feeds from his mother's breast.
“There we are, all done my little prince,” She cooed as she pulled the baby from her breast, wiped his lips, kissed his forehead and stroked her fingers softly over his Targaryen silver hair, She chuckled slightly at the baby's milk drunk little face, eyes droopy and sleepy.
“Fuck those cunts!” Erupted from the door as Aegon forced his way into the chamber throwing open the doors, letting them smack into the stone walls to their sides. He turned and slammed the doors in the faces of the guards who followed him, screaming to the ceiling like his own dragon,
Y/n, blinked a few times before she set the baby in the crib, “Is… everything alright my king?” She cooed,
He ran his hand through his silver hair and took a breath, “I wish to burn this infernal castle to the ground.”
“I see.” She nodded, “May I ask why?”
“Everything is why!” He yelled, “My mother is being a pretentious little bitch! Gives me all the power in the world and then forbids me to do anything! My brother is being a self-initiated little prick! Anyone think he thought he was king! This council constantly going round and round in bloody circles! Undermining My AUTHORITY!” He paced,
“I understand Aegon,” She nodded,
“W-what?” He froze up a moment,
“I understand, that must be very hard. Very conflicting emotionally and politically. I’m sorry you have to feel this way,” She cooed,
He scoffed a moment, “How is it… that you are… as angelic as you are?” he leaned his arms on the back of the chair, “You know just what I need.”
“Years of practice,” She chuckled,
He let a laugh slip, “I was expecting you to tell me how foolish I am, for feeling this way.”
“You are not foolish for feeling this way, your feelings are never foolish.” she affirmed, “It is a complicated time, but you have every right to feel disheartened and upset as everyone else does.”
“You’re too sweet. For a man like me.”
“Perhaps that's why you need me,”
“Perhaps it is,” He chuckled finally his eyes meeting his wife, He smiled at her a moment letting out a rather happy and content sigh, but his eyes flicked down to her bare breast and his teeth caught his bottom lip,
“Ohh! Forgive me, my king, I was feeding the prince.” She blushed pulling her dress back up and tying the small ribbon,
“You have no need to apologise Y/n,” He cooed, “How is he? Baby Baelor?” he asked coming to the crib to loom over his son,
“He’s fine, sleeping well.”
“Thank the gods,” He nodded, “And you?”
“I am very well my king,”
He chuckled and sat down in the chair beside her ottoman, “You have no need to still call me that,”
“I know, I just like to,” she smiled,
“You are far too sweet, for me, for Kings Landing … for Westeros,” He said pressing his forehead to hers and caressing her cheek, “Must you love me so strongly?”
“I must,” She nodded,
“Hum…” He smiled rubbing his thumb on her cheek before softly pressing his lips to capture her own,
The two shared a soft and loving kiss for a few moments before he pulled back,
“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” she asked,
His eyes trailed down from her lips, down her neck and lingered on her cleavage, he licked his lip and captured it once more in his teeth, “Mhm,” He growled,
Y/n blushed a moment, “Yes my king,” she nodded moving her hands to unlace the top of her dress tugging the dress down and holding it at her waist exposing both of her bare breasts to him,
He smirked a low growl in his throat as he took his time, looking at her. His eyes trail over every single inch of skin with a look of feist desire. After a while, he moves his hands to stroke her skin running his fingers gently across her, “what happened here?” He asked his thumb briefly brushing over the small mark on her tender breast just above her nipple,
“He bit me.”
“Bit you?” He rasied an eyebrow,
“It’s alright little guy just doesn’t know his strength yet,”
“You poor thing,” he cooed, “It’s a crime to bite something so beautiful,” He cooed fully cupping her breasts in his hands his thumbs softly circling her nipples watching with glee as they perked up and hardened for his attention, He gives her a few tender squeezes before his attention fully moves to her nipples brushing his thumbs over them in little clockwise circles around the pointed peak, only so often brushing the peak itself which always made her whimper, “May I, my queen?”
She blushed, “Of course my king,”
He smiled and moved to kneel on the floor his body between her legs, he laid his head softly on her thigh looking up at her with a joyful smile,
She smiled down at him and stroked his silver hair as he began to pepper her breast with kisses,
He made sure to kiss as much as he could before reaching her nipple, he slowly circled the hard peak with his tongue before lapping at the nipple with the side flat edge of his tounge, forcing a giggle from her, “So sensitive Y/n,” He cooed,
“Well they’ve been working hard feeding you both,” She chuckled,
“True,” He smirked, “Come here my angel,” He cooed taking her other breast in his hand and locking his lips around her nipple latching to it, he circled the nipple with his tounge a few more times before he began to gently and softly suckle,
“There we go, does this please you my king?” She cooed as she stroked his hair,
He nodded as he began to gently drink, making sure not to be too hard or too fast on her tender breast as he slowly suckled and drank her milk, as soon as the milk touched his tongue he began to moan and groan his eyes rolling back before squeezing shut completely, his other hand squeezes and rubs her nipple on the other breast while he enjoys her sweet milk.
“Not too much, or there’ll be none left for Baby Baelon,” She chuckled,
“Hummm” He nodded a little dismissively enjoying himself far too much to stop,
She chuckled and rolled her eyes a little petting his silver hair and caressing his cheek as she held him in her lap letting him drink and play for a good while until finally, he pulled back.
Ageon licked her nipple clean and wiped his mouth, “You make me feel… so peaceful my angel,”
“I’m glad I can, I’m just happy you feel better.”
“I feel much better now,” he cooed nuzzling into her lap, “I love you y/n,”
“I love you too Aegon,” She smiled giving his cheek a soft little kiss, 
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20nugs · 1 year ago
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Oblivious (Chris Sturniolo)
Spin off of: Tone Deaf by @d0wnt0wnstu4n1ol0
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a/n: yes, I got permission for this🤓
summary: request
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I sit on the triplet's couch, watching TV. I check the time. 10:00 PM, the clock reads. A whole hour after Chris usually gets home from a meeting. I sigh and tap my foot, hoping he's alright. He hasn't answered my texts, but I've heard from Nick that this meeting is particularly long and heavy.
My eyes light up as I hear the door being unlocked and shoved open. Chris enters first, his hair unruly as ever and head tilted down. A sharp scowl overtakes his usually laid-back features.
"Hey baby, how was it?" I ask, standing up and smiling. My brow furrows and a frown tugs at my lips as instead of pulling me into a hug like he always does, Chris walks swiftly past me without even sparing me a glance. Concerned, I try to follow him, only to be tugged back by a hand on my wrist. I turn to see Nick, holding me back.
"Give him some space," he says quietly. "He's stressed out, we all are." He releases my wrist with a sigh.
"Oh," I mumble, plopping back down on their couch. Nick follows my action and rubs his face with his hands. He lets his hands fall and turns to me with a tired smile.
"What do you want to watch?"
---
It's been around two hours since Chris ignored me at the door, and I've been watching TV with Nick the whole time, Matt opting to go to his room like Chris did. Now, Nick is asleep on the couch, his feet in my lap. I chew on my bottom lip as I check the time. 12:02 AM. I sigh and gently push Nick's feet off of me. I quietly creep my way up the stairs and stand in front of Chris's door. I see a dim light coming from the crack beneath it. I take a deep breath and slowly push open his door.
Chris sits at his desk, his head in one of his hands, a look of deep concentrated on his features as he stares at his computer, clicking away with his free hand. The computer is the only thing lighting up his room, straining on my eyes. I gently shut the door behind me.
"Hi Chris," I say softly, taking a few steps towards him. I stand there, playing with my fingers as I wait for his response.
"Hi," he says, his voice monotone and blunt. I chew on my lip, worried. He never acts like this, not even when he's angry.
"How... how was the meeting?" I ask quietly. I inch closer to him reaching out a hand to rest on his back. He doesn't look at me, his stare still focused on his computer. It looks like he's working on his videos and deals.
"Fine," he answers. His voice is monotone still, with an edge to it. I can tell that if I say anything else it'll annoy him. But I continue anyways.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I ask, my eyebrows pinched together.
"Oh my God, are you fucking oblivious?" He asks angrily, standing from his desk chair. "Obviously I don't want to talk right now, just leave me the fuck alone!"
Hurt contorts my features as I stare back at him. I watch his face drop from the angry expression he had before to a look of realization and panic.
"Wait baby, I didn't mean that-" he starts reaching out to grab my hand, but I ignore him as he ignored me before and push past him, tears brimming at my eyes as I slam his door behind me and jog down the stairs. I can hear a distant 'fuck' from his room, and his door opening. I rush past Nick in the living room and open their front door. Nick is sat up, his sleepiness still evident on his face.
"What hap-" I hear Nick begin speaking but before he can answer I slam their front door behind me and get in my car, backing out of their driveway and flooring the gas to get back to my own house.
Speeding through the neighborhood, I pull over for a moment to wipe the tears from my eyes that are blurring my eyesight. I softly drop my head onto my steering wheel as I cry. Chris never snaps at me, never. I finally sit up and wipe the tears from my eyes and resume driving. I stop for gas on the way home, but as soon as I pull up to my driveway, I know I'm not alone.
I squint at my house. I didn't leave any lights on, so why is my living room window lit up?
My heart pounds as I clutch at the pepper spray in my purse, gently closing my car door. I make my way up to my front door and hold out my pepper spray as I quietly open my door. I let out a silent breath of relief as I see that it's only Chris inside, sitting at my dinner table, seemingly distressed. My relief is short-lived as I remember the events of only around an hour ago. Just as I'm about to leave, Chris notices me. "Wait," he calls out, his voice hoarse. "Please, don't go." There's a quiver in his voice that causes me to hesitate long enough for him to grab my wrist, preventing me from leaving. "Please," he whispers. "I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have snapped at you. It was wrong, and I feel awful."
I finally meet his eyes for the first time today, noticing how bloodshot they are and the dark circles beneath them. A flood of concern and empathy for him fills my body, but there's still hurt and anger. "You yelled and cussed at me," I mumble, looking away from him. In the corner of my eye I see his shoulders droop and his head lower. I take a deep breath. "But you were also stressed," I continue, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek delicately, "and I forgive you." He smiles softly and leans into my touch, pressing a kiss to my palm. He pulls me in for a passionate kiss, conveying his emotions through it. He breaks it to squish me against him in a warm embrace, burying his face into my hair.
"Can I sleep here tonight?" He asks quietly.
"Of course you can," I whisper, leading him into my bedroom and towards my bed. We both flop down and I cuddle up against him, feeling his smile against my forehead.
"I love you," he mumbles sleepily, tightening his arms around me. I smile and press a kiss to his cheek.
"I love you too," I whisper as we slowly drift off to sleep.
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borathae · 2 years ago
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“Jungkook gets anxious sometimes. And when that happens, he needs your affection more than anything.”
Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x f.Reader
Warnings: anxious Kook, tears, he sucks on her boobs but it’s not even an ounce of sexual
Wordcount: 1.3k
a/n: I couldn’t get the concept of Kookie sucking on her boobs for comfort out of my head so here it is. This is pure comfort and fluff. Also this is very sappy, because I reread some of their chapters and got sappy af about how far they’ve come :( have fun besties ❤
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Jungkook worked really late today. So late in fact, that you were already asleep when he came home. You often are with his schedule. You really hate those days. They leave him stressed, tired and sometimes even anxious. And there is no thing on earth you despise more than knowing that your Bunny had a bad day. You already hated it back when you still pretended that he was nothing more than business and you especially hate it these days as his loving wife. It makes you want to protect him from everything and everyone. You want to set the whole world on fire whenever he is feeling cold. You want to darken the sun whenever his eyes hurt because of it. And you would especially love to demolish his company whenever he had a bad day because of it. Truly, if anything or anyone bothered your Jungkookie in any kind of way, your desire for protective violence is raging. 
So when a weak hand shakes you awake that night, followed by a little sniffle, you jolt up ready to fight the world. Not that one can see that you are, as your eyes open comically slowly in sleepiness. But you really are ready to fight the world.
Jungkook is barely visible in the darkness, only the weak shine of his nightlight illuminates him. He uses the light whenever you are sleeping already to find his way to bed and then apply lip balm and hand cream. Tonight it seems that he is using it to see you as well. 
He is pouting. His eyes are puffy and wet from tears and his nose is runny too. 
"What's wrong?" you ask him with a terribly croaky voice, courtesy to the deep sleep you previously had found yourself in. 
"Anxiety attack", he gets out and whimpers, "I, I can’t get it to s-stop."
"I'm here, I’m right here", you are wide awake instantly, propping yourself up on your elbow to scoot closer and kiss his cheek, "I'm right here, Bunny. You’re safe now." 
Jungkook nods his head, chasing your closeness with his trembling fingers twisting the front of your shirt. He’s safe now. Nothing can hurt him anymore because he has you to protect him now.
"I threw up", he confesses and sobs softly, "in, in t-the office. I, I had an attack and, and then I, I threw up b-because it, it was so strong. A-and now I, I can’t get it to, to stop."
"Oh no, I’m so sorry", you gasp, cradling him against your chest, "I fucking hate that you had to. This is the worst fucking feeling. Fuck, my Bunny", you hug him closer, burying your fingers in his hair, "I'm here now. Do you hear me? You’re not alone anymore."
"I really wanted to b-be in your arms, but you were in the exam so I, I didn’t call", he says, shivering like crazy.
"God no, my Bunny", you feel yourself tear up in guilt. Jungkook needed you and you weren’t there for him, "I'm so sorry. I feel so awful. Please call me next time. No matter where I am, you’ll always be the most important priority to me and I'll always come to help." 
Jungkook sobs gratefully. He really needed that reassurance. He didn’t want to call you today, not because he thought that you would be angry, but because he didn’t want to disturb you. He wants you to be able to live your life and for you to be able to experience things like exams and college classes because you never got that when you were younger. And that’s why he didn’t call. Because he didn’t want to be the stupid reason why you had to miss out on such experiences. 
But his anxiety has tortured him to the point where there was almost nothing left of him. And all Jungkook needed was to hear you reassure him that he will always have a shoulder to lean on with you. He needed to hear it. He never stopped believing it, but he still needed to hear it.
He feels better already now that he is resting in your arms and has your gentle touch soothing him. The painful lump in his throat is gone and those everlasting heart palpitations are calming down as well.
"I'm so sorry, my Bunny. I seriously feel awful", you whisper, kissing the shell of his ear softly. 
Jungkook tilts his head up upon hearing the guilt in your voice and feeling the distinct sensation of your tears hitting his skin. Just as he had feared. You are crying, looking so guilty.
"It's not your fault. It’s okay", he whispers, "I love you so much."
"I love you too", you breathe, cupping his cheek, "I'll fight the fucking world to keep you safe" you add, running your thumb over his cheekbone.
Jungkook feels so unworthy of your love sometimes. It’s moments like these that make him feel like this. Moments where he realises that someone like you – someone who spent most of her life fighting for herself with no other person in mind – chooses to fight for him over and over and over again. You chose him. Chose him even if that meant stepping out of your comfort zone. Chose him even if that meant handing over some of your control to which you so obsessively clung to. You fucking chose him. As your family, partner and human for life. And Jungkook will never ever take that for granted. 
"Please don’t fight it, you'll only hurt yourself", he whispers, making you laugh quietly.
"I'll be careful, promise."
Jungkook feels better now that he heard your laugh. His desire to flee from unknown danger ceases to exist and he doesn’t feel so broken anymore.
"I adore you so much", he whispers.
"I adore you too", you tell him, leaning down to kiss his cheek, "my Bunny."
Overwhelmed by his emotions, Jungkook seeks you out, nose brushing against your breasts and fingers traveling to your chest. He hopes that you will understand for he feels too weak to speak.
You rest back on your pillow. Knowing very well what his gesture means, you unbutton your shirt wordlessly. You open it until the button where he can comfortably reach your breasts.
"Thank you", he presses out and whimpers, cupping your right breast to guide your nipple to his lips. He whimpers again as he takes you inside, body growing limp in comfort and shivers finally stopping entirely. 
Jungkook does this often when he needs true comfort. When his day was hard and his mental health was bad, all he truly needed was to be close to you. And on those really exhausting days, all that really helped was being able to suck on your breasts. He saw nothing sexual in the act during those moments and neither did you. It felt nurturing, comforting and safe. For both of you. For Jungkook because he was finally in your safe arms again and the gentle motion of sucking soothed him. And for you because you finally had the reassurance that your Jungkookie was safe and the warmth of his mouth relaxed you. 
You never ended up having sex because of those moments. Not even once. This act, while perhaps sexual during other situations, was of the most intimate and vulnerable nature and leaves the both of you oh so much more connected. Jungkook also feels no ounce of anxiety when he can suck on your nipples. Whatever painful feelings kept him hostage before, they all instantly disappear the second he begins kissing and sucking your breasts. 
Tonight is no different. Jungkook sucks on your breasts until he feels too sleepy to continue and you massage his scalp until your tired fingers stop working. Jungkook falls asleep just a little bit sooner than you. Reassured that he was finally at peace, you give in to the tiredness and fall asleep seconds later. And together you will forget about the world outside your windows, because all that truly matters was being in each other’s arms.
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shadowdaddies · 1 year ago
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Could I request a Rhys x reader where reader stress cleans or cooks? Rhys just walking into the house and it’s either smelling like some really delicious food or like she just cleaned and already knows something’s wrong?
I’m known in my family to clean or cook when I become stressed, angry, or jealous (mostly stressed and angry) lol. There have been a lot of midnight cleaning sessions or my sister waking up at 3 am to a 3 course meal because something was stressing me out lol
um would you take another sister? you sound so lovely 💜 my brother and I fought each other for the good snacks lmao
Late Night Baking
Rhys x Reader fluff
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You jolted awake in bed, already forgetting whatever your nightmare was about, but the dreadful feeling of the dream staying with you. You tried falling back asleep, but your heart was pounding as the stressful emotions built in a crescendo until you were compelled to get out of bed. You stood up, pulling on your robe as you looked to see Rhys still sleeping soundly, moonlight shining on his blue-black hair. 
You crept out the door, trying to stay quiet as you made your way down to the kitchen. Baking was always a comforting distraction when you were upset, and you welcomed the activity, a familiar soothing remedy for your nerves. You played soft music on the symphonia, humming along as you whipped together the ingredients for brownies before popping the tray in the oven. You promptly cleaned the used dishes while the brownies baked, but soon enough you were feeling jittery again, needing to do something with your hands. 
You were scrubbing invisible dirt from the kitchen counter when Rhys padded down the stairs, stretching his arms as he yawned. He gave you a knowing look as he took an exaggerated inhale, smelling the chocolate baking. “It smells wonderful, darling. Do you want to put down the cleaning supplies to let me know why you’re up at this hour?” You sighed, turning around as Rhys brought you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You laid your head against his chest, mumbling “nightmare.” Rhys gave an understanding hum, not pressing you for information. He knew you would share what you wanted to, when you were ready. His priority was to be there for you, to comfort you. 
You enjoyed his warm embrace, the feeling of his hands rubbing circles on your back, until you were interrupted by the timer. You pulled the brownies out, testing that they were cooked through before setting them out to cool. Rhys returned to stand behind you, arms around you again as his presence lulled you into a warm comfort, and you let out a yawn. He chuckled softly against your shoulder, “darling, why don’t we go back to sleep, and enjoy these brownies tomorrow?” You nodded, anxiety finally wearing off as you began to feel sleepy. Rhys placed a kiss to your temple before picking you up bridal-style, and carrying you upstairs where you fell back asleep in his arms.
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pleasebendmeoverxxx · 5 days ago
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Meant to be
Hi everyone, just to remind you that my first language is not English hihi
No smut(yet) just a cute fluff
“Finally, im going to tell you that you have to make a presentation about what we talked about today with a partner by the end of the next week.” The teacher speaks as I sigh,
I see fellow students looking at their friends because they want to work together.
I wasn't very popular, I didn't have many friends in class. I had Chris and Nick as friends, but they weren't in my class but their brother was, Matt. he is also a friend of mine but i think he is not as interested in me as nick and chris are,
mostly because he has a girlfriend and she thinks that me and Matt shouldn't be friends because I'm a girl, I think that's stupid and I think she should trust Matt more. she is in the same class as me btw.
“okay guys be quiet because I choose the groups” the teacher speaks.
I was happy because I think if we were allowed to choose I would be left alone.
the groups are chosen and matt's girlfriend is put with a boy and I see that she immediately starts flirting with him but matt doesn't see that. she doesn't deserve matt. And it makes me angry
After a few other students are put together, Matt and I are left and we are put together. I don't really care because I am happy that at least I have been put together with a person who I know better than the rest in my class.
I look at Matt and see that he is looking behind him at his girlfriend who is looking at him with an irritating look as if it was his fault that he has to work with me.
“That's it for today, have fun and enjoy your weekend" The teacher speaks.
I walk out of class wanting to say something to Matt but I see him walking with his stupid girlfriend, I roll my eyes and walk in the other direction knowing that I will see him in the weekend.
✧・゚: *✧・゚: *・゚✧*・゚: *✧・゚: *・゚✧*:・゚✧
I come home tired and rush up the stairs to my room and plop down on my bed as quickly as I can, I fall asleep.
After an hour I am woken up by my ringing phone i pick up "finally, I've been waiting for hours for you to pick up" "nick?" I say in a sleepy voice not hearing who I was on the phone with "no stupid! it's Chris"
“ohh hi, what’s up” i asked him
“Oh nothing.. I'm just bored and would like to watch a movie with you” he says
“Okay..on my way!” I say happily
I put on a gray top with gray sweatpants, I didn't wear a bra underneath, knowing that I feel very comfortable with them so I didn't care. I grabbed my keys and left
Chris,Matt and Nick live on the same street so I didn't have to walk that far before I was already there.
I knocked on the door and Chris opened it and he hugged me and says "I missed you" I say "I missed you to" as I walk inside
“What movie you wanne watch?” He says
“ohh i want a horrormovie” i smile at him
We are now lying together under a blanket, with my face resting on my shoulder, almost falling asleep.
until I hear some screaming from upstairs, it was a girl and Matt arguing "who is that" I say in a sleepy voice, knowing for sure who it was
"it's Matt and his girlfriend, god I hate her.. Matt has been so stressful lately because of her" Chris says “yeah i feel bad for him too, i saw her flirting with another guy today” i say as Chris rolled his eyes.
We continue watching the movie again.
less than 10 minutes later, Matt's girlfriend storms downstairs leaving the house
me and chris look at her with wide eyes
We look at each other and try to ignore it until Matt comes down the stairs with a sigh and plops down next to us looking tired.
“You good bro” Chris asked him.
“no man, I hate her so much and I'm really done with it, she's selfish and she's way too jealous, every time I even stand next to a girl she gets angry” Matt says with angry voice
“I get you Matt, today she was even flirting with a boy from our class, can you believe that?…you deserve better Matt" I say
Chris says "you broke up with her, right?”
“Yhea..don't worry, I'm definitely not going to let myself treat like that” Matt says
“Wanne watch a movie with us” I say as I get up to get some snacks “yhea” Matt says
I come back with some ships in a bowl and I sit among the brown-haired boys we continue watching the movie until I feel myself drifting off to sleep. Matt realizes that my head is resting on his shoulder and starts blushing.
Matt was so happy and relieved that he had broken up with his girlfriend, that he no longer cared that he was blushing for his friend, he felt me ​​move in my sleep placing my leg over his lower body. now me cuddling him in my sleep as if it were my bed pillow
he feels himself getting harder when he feels my nipples through my t-shirt on his chest
Matt now blushing even harder,
“ahw look how cute” chris says to matt as he takes out his phone and takes a picture of us, not knowing it was with a flash. "oops" chris says giggling "shhh" matt shushed chris as I woke up,
not knowing what was happening and I looked into Matt's eyes then I realized that I was almost lying on top of him with my whole body, cuddling him like a baby.
“Omg!… i-i ueh im sorry Matt” i stood up blushing crazy at him. Matt giggled when he saw me blush "its okay you just fell a sleep" he says "yhea hugging him like you are a little baby" chris says when i try to hit him with my hand but he protects himself with his own hands.
“Im to tired for this Chris i wanne go sleep ” i say rubbing my eyes “yhea maybe you can go sleep with matty” he laughed at me as i try to find my shoes
I mean i would’t mind hehe
I just rolled my eyes at him going to the kitchen for a glass of water “you know you can sleep here, i mean nick is out of town so his bed is free”
“No,no its okey” i say while giving them one last big hug knowing i will see them tomorrow…
“goodnight” “see you tomorrow” they say as i walked away from the house to my own
thinking about what i'm going to do tomorrow with chris and matt knowing that it will be a bit fun and even more fun now that I know that Matt is single again and I no longer have to adhere to a distance rule from his stupid ex
To be continued…
✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
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cixl-writes · 1 year ago
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nepenthe — kim minji
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SYPNOSIS — `` | minji loves her job, really she does! it just gets too much sometimes. luckily for her, you're there to become her escape.
PAIRING — `` | kim minji x non-idol!fem reader
REQUESTED — `` | yes
GENRE — `` | fluff fluff fluff
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minji was stressed.
that much was obvious to everyone who she encountered today. from the seemingly permanent frown on her features to the way her body seemed so tensed, it was all too obvious.
her members didn't wanted to make her explode or snap and remained cautious around her— hell even pham hanni didn't dare to try and push kim minji's buttons! she was grateful, of course, but she felt bad if she was being honest.
she knows that it wasn't their fault, and the thought made her feel more guilty.
still, minji just wanted the horrendous day to end.
the girl trudged up to the stairs of her girlfriend's condominium, eyes shutting close from time to time and shoulders sagged down after the day. she just wanted to rest in your arms, and using that as a motivation, minji fastened her pace.
the idol paused when she reached her door, hand busily opening her phone and frowning at the screen that greeted her. '3:18 am', it showed.
something tells her that her beloved is now asleep and she'll just feel even more guilty if she ever wakes her up.
debating in her mind whether or not she was going to continue, she didn't notice the door opening and lo and behold, l/n y/n coming out of it. it was until y/n spoke up did she even noticed.
"hm? hey min, what are you doing just standing outside like that?" y/n showcased a smile, albeit a bit sleepy yet it remained mostly happy at the sight of her favorite person in the world.
"come on in, i just finished cooking you some late night dinner— or early breakfast, at this time."
kim minji mustered up a real, genuine smile for the first time.
"lifesaver~" she sang playfully before entering the neat condominium, kicking her shoes off. y/n only laughed, "i know that you'll probably get off your schedule late, so i'm prepared."
the l/n wrapped her arms around the kim's waist, chin resting on her shoulder. "how was your day, love?" she urged the girl to start ranting, eyes lovingly watching her from her shoulder.
minji started to finally let her feelings out, heart and shoulder slowly becoming light.
"—and then, i got scolded because i was the 'leader'!" y/n hums as she guided her lover to take a seat in the kitchen.
"that's horrible, what happened next?" she quipped and pushed the other to eat for now, chin resting on her fist as she attentively listened to the rant.
"what happened next is—" that routine continued to repeat until they were both settled at the bed, minji freshly out of the shoulder but still not done with her rant about her day.
the idol sat on the soft cushion in the floor, letting her girlfriend gently dry her air as she continued to talk her heart off. "—then, the producer wanted me to do this and that like i'm one of his employee; i mean, what the hell?!"
"wow, what a bastard."
"right?!"
minji huffed with an angry pout, crossing her arms in front of her chest like a child. y/n placed a few pats on her head with an amused chuckle. "rest now, min. you deserve it after such a long day."
the kim, who had her head leaned against the other's thigh, felt her eyes drooping down— a sign that she actually needed that much deserved rest.
the l/n once again guided her girlfriend to the bed before she could doze off in the floor, tucking her in and kissing her forehead right after.
"sleep well, min. you deserve it..."
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NOTE — `` | this is the best i could do after hellish weeks </3
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save-the-villainous-cat · 2 years ago
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ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS WITH ANGST AND PINING 😭😭😭 I BEG
“You’re leaving,” the villain whispered.
“Have I ever told you about my favourite part of hooking up with you?”
The villain looked up from their coffee. I have a mission. I’ll be back in three months. The words echoed in their mind, feasting on it like a wicked parasite. Three months were endurable but that didn’t make the situation painless.
“I suppose finishing?” the villain guessed. The hero laughed and the villain realised they could get drunk on this sound. God, they felt like a fucking clown, longing for someone they weren’t supposed to have.
No one had ever made the villain feel loved. A difficult childhood, traumatising teenage years and horrible first years of being an adult made them feel worthless at best and redundant at worst.
“I mean, I like that part a lot, don’t get me wrong. Especially when you actually do let me finish.” The villain felt their cheeks burn. Sometimes they feared they were going too far but the hero seemed to enjoy to be told what to do. “But no. My favourite part is when you’re sleepy in the morning and the early sun dips your face in orange light. You always look so soft.”
“I am not soft,” the villain reminded them.
“Not always,” the hero agreed. “But despite what you want the world to believe, I’ve seen the truth and you can’t take that from me.”
“You’re leaving,” the villain said again. They looked at the hero on the opposite side of the table. Messy hair, sleepy eyes, bruised neck. There were even some older hickeys on their chest from another session a few days ago. The villain didn’t want them to disappear.
“I have no choice. It’s my job.” They sighed and took a sip of tea.
“We always have a choice.” The villain’s voice was as bitter as their thoughts. The hero would leave them. They would forget about them. They would find someone else. Three months were enough to forget.
“Oh, don’t be angry with me,” the hero said gently. “You’ll find another way to relieve stress. It’s just three months. You’ll find that I’m pretty easily replaceable when it comes to lovers.”
“I don’t want another way,” the villain said. They felt how angry they were getting. They wanted one person. Just one person on this entire earth. Of course that was too much to ask for.
The hero observed them for a while. They didn’t say anything at first but when they did, their voice was soft enough to invoke some kind of melancholy in the villain.
“Is this getting to you?”
“You wouldn’t understand it,” the villain answered. They stared at nothing in particular, angry at themselves, angry at the world, angry at destiny or whatever the fuck was controlling their way.
“I’m fairly certain I’d be the only one who’d understand,” the hero said. They’d always been good at soothing the villain. It was scary how synchronised their thoughts could be.
“Fine. This is getting to me. I can’t explain it. But I’m afraid I’ll always think of you when I look into my future spouse’s eyes in a decade or so. I’m afraid that I’ll always see a fraction of you when I’m in bed with someone else. And now you’ll leave me and I won’t be able to kill those thoughts. There won’t be any reassurance without you.”
“You know I will return, right?” The hero smiled sweetly at them, their beautiful eyes shining. “We can figure it out, I promise.”
“Then why does this feel like a goodbye for good?”
The hero leaned forward and took the villain’s hand.
“Because you’re overthinking. Everything will be alright, I promise. We’ll see each other in three months, I promise.” They squeezed their hand and the villain’s heart skipped a few beats.
However, the hero never returned. They died a day before the mission was completed.
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sahhr-studiesmed · 15 days ago
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27/10/24
Sunday.
11:40 PM.
Hey everyone.
It's been a while since I wrote here especially since my exams were done and over with.
I think I was in the recovery phase in a way. The experience was not just stressful but also extremely traumatic and for a long long time I couldn't figure out what to do about any of it. I suppose I was waiting for it to start feeling right once again and that I didn’t want it to feel overwhelming once Again.
On the better part— I am starting to feel a bit more normal than say a month ago. I haven’t been studying a lot but I have started studying a a bit more or at least the way i used to.
The biggest change that came in my life was not coming to the second year but rather that— i went through a breakup. That’s not something that a a study blog talks about. Right? Well, this is a life blog and broken relationships are still very much a part of life.
Why am I taking about this? Why am I making a a big deal out of this? Why am I being dramatic about it? It’s not a big deal. It would have happened eventually. What difference does it make that it happened a bit earlier than you had expected? And why even feel like it came out of nowhere? You had been anticipating it. You could almost see it happening in your head— are some of the things my brain has beentelling me.
I am a sleepy right now as I write this but i have been choking on my own words and i promised myself that I would write today and get it out. No matter how hard it was.
The thing about med school no one talks about is— the impact it has on close relationships. It could be platonic ones or it could be romantic ones and they are never the same once you get in med school. The people who scoffed and ridiculed you suddenly become nicer and the people who meant the world to you become distant and eventually you end up losing them.
In my head relationships have always been a game of probability and the steps you take to push the probability in your favour.
The person I love— he is the reason I got in med school. I was never the one with grit. I talked big about dreams but they were mere words and words mean nothing if they are not backed with actions. Words are air and they vanish just as quick as they come but actions anchor them. When we had first met— I was just that all talk and no action and I would blame everything else instead of being accountable and that made him angry. I was scared of losing him to this reason— so I stared working hard even though it felt like my mind was not my own and that I was clutching at empty air. I wanted him to know that I was putting in efforts.
That’s how it started and then by some miracle I got in med school and he became secondary.
I didn’t get a choice and we slowly grew apart. He got angrier and I got busy. He got colder and I couldn’t do anything about it. He lost his warmth and I became the villain.
That’s how it happened— the breakup.
How am I dealing with it all?
I have been binge eating— i have gained weight because of that because somehow food brings comfort. A full stomach keeps the mind full and there is no thinking one has to do. I spend time doing everything that can be categorised as wasting time.
It happened three days before I was to start in the new year.
Med school doesn’t allow you to grieve. So i cry now and then— when I can register what has actually happened.
The thing really is— i knew months ago that this would happen but I mourn the loss of what was. The comfort and care. The openness and sincerity and it eventually vanishing away.
I don’t know what else to write really. I have been feeling disengaged from even expressing. Words do form but they bring me not relief. I keep feeling empty.
So i will write from now on. Broken and imperfect. Unsatisfactory and incomplete but I will write because I cant let myself go. I have worked too hard to get where I am right now and if I let that go— there is not much left to me.
So i will start small and fall a lot but I will try to save myself and not let go of myself.
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fieldofdaisiies · 2 years ago
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modern!Azriel x Reader | Ashamed?
type: angst-y warning(s): Azriel being an insecure and sad boy, talk about money, I guess word count: 2.9k words request: Hiii ik it's been a while but can you write a fic which is az x reader and the reader is kinda well off with cash but like az needs some help with it but he's shy to tell the reader he needs cash cuz it might make him look less in front of her? modernAU where Azriel and Reader are roommates, and since Azriel no longer works for the major and rather wants to focus on his musical career he doesn’t have that much money which becomes quite obvious when he cannot pay the rent
-all rights reserved-
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“Azriel?” Your voice hollows through the flat and although the letter you are holding in your hand is everything but positive you still try to not sound too gloomy.
At this point you simply think that Azriel has forgotten to pay the rent, wouldn’t be the first time that you have to remind your roommates, Cassian and Azriel, that their rent was due. Cass has given you the money a week ago before he left for holiday with his girlfriend Nesta. But Azriel’s part is somehow still missing. He has been been working a lot on his music lately so you think it probably has just slipped his mind.
You open the door to the fridge while you wait for an answer from Azriel. Your lips pout when your eyes scan the empty interior of the fridge, nothing but one carrot left. You quickly glance to side, looking at the small note board to figure out whose job it has been to go shopping this week.
Azriel. Great, what has been going on with him lately?
“Azriel!” you shout once again, frustration taking root in your chest. Still no answer. You quickly slip your phone out of your back pocket to check the time–five past ten. So he has to be up. 
Sliding your phone back into the pocket and holding the letter tightly in your other hand, you hurdle to his room, knocking loudly. 
You are not mad, not really at least, but a tiny bit angry. You all have the same duties in this shared flat and it is really frustrating when some does not fulfill theirs because it means another person has to make up for that. 
“Yes?” Azriel’s voice sounds sleepy, slightly hoarse and grumbly. 
“Can I come in?”
“Yes.” So you enter and find Azriel sitting in his bed, one knee bent, his laptop in front of him. His gaze is trained on the screen, his jaw clenched, his brows furrowed.
“What are you up to?” you ask, slightly surprised that he is already sitting in front of his laptop. Normally Azriel would always do some songwriting or guitar playing in the morning.
“Nothing…” he says and does not even deign you a glance. 
What Azriel is really up to should be a secret as he is currently looking for a weekend job as he is in a desperate need of money. He does not want you to know, he does not want you to think he is a loser who has failed at making money with music. He can’t even afford gas for his motorcycle; it has been standing in front of the building since weeks, unused. Also he would love to go on holiday as well, take you on holiday maybe? But that is a sheer impossibility at the time being.
“Why are you here?” “Oh good morning, my dearest roommate, it is such a delight seeing you on this wonderful morning,” you sarcastically express and toss the letter to him. Finally the male looks up at you and you internally cringe. Dark circles surround his eyes that are slightly bloodshot. Has he been up all night? His hair is ruffled, his shoulders hunched and you quickly glance back up at his face.
“Sorry, I am a bit stressed. Good morning, Y/N,” Azriel says in a calm voice, offering you a small smile. “What is this?” 
“Rent for this month. Cass and I have both paid but your part is still missing,” you say, trying not to sound accusatory. Azriel’s shoulders hunch even more and he seems like folding into himself.
One hand coming up, he first rubs it over his chin, then the back of his neck. “I must have forgotten.”
“Yeah…” you say and step from one foot to the other. 
“I will give it to you sometime soon.” You really don’t want to be annoying, especially since you may have this tiny, little crush on your roommate, but you need the money to give it to your landlord.
“What about now?” Your voice is barely above a whisper when you lean back onto the doorframe, watching Azriel’s throat work on a swallow.
“Now is not so good. I don’t have any money,” Azriel says and quickly adds, “here. Here at the moment, I mean. I will go to the bank tomorrow. I promise.” He seems so sad, so vulnerable in that moment that your heart squeezes a little bit. You don’t really buy his lie, but you give your head a tight nod and press your lips in a thin line. “Alright.”
With that you leave his room, an odd feeling settling in your gut. 
~~~~~~
“So, what did he say?" you excitedly querie your friend Gwyn who is sitting opposite of you on the couch, questioning her about her date she had the previous evening. Gwyn grins and takes your hand into hers. “He said that he would like to meet me again, preferably this weekend.”
You both squeal at that, grinning and cheering which is suddenly interrupted by the slam of a door. Azriel you gather as Cass is still on holiday.
You turn your head the moment your wet —he is drenched in rain water— roommate enters the living room. His gaze is trained on the floor when he toes off his boots and brushes his hand through his hair, exhaling a loud breath, apperently not having realised that both you and Gwyn are sitting on the couch. It is now two days after you have questioned Azriel about the rent and he still hasn’t made any move to give you the money. You have decided to give him a bit more time —until Monday— as then the time of grace would be over. 
Gwyn next to you stiffens and you feel her gaze on you. She knows about your little crush on him and desperately wants to get the two of you together. 
“Az?” you carefully question and it startles your roommate. He winces and tips his head up, his gaze shooting to yours. “Y/N…” he breathes and his voice is so weak, so unsteady. 
You stare at him for a long moment, unable to find appropriate words to help him in this disheveled state. You feel Gwyn nudge your knee and start to scramble for something you could say. 
“Are you alright, Azriel?” your best friend then asks, helping you out. You are incredibly thankful for that and tap her knee with yours. 
“Oh, hey, Gwyn. I am. Just in need of a shower.” Azriel is quick to depart, giving the both of you a quick wave of his hand before disappearing into the corridor.
“He has always been calm, but I have never seen him like that,” Gwyn says to you when Azriel is out of eyesight. Pressing your lips in a thin line, you bow your head. Your fingers peel on the skin around your nails when you start chewing on your lower lip. “I think he is having trouble with money…”
Gwyn looks surprised when you lift your gaze to hers. You cocks her head and gives you a questioning look, waiting for you to elaborate. 
“He hasn’t paid the rent yet and when I asked him he said he has no money and then quickly corrected himself, saying he does not have it here. I just think he is struggling with it lately and I would really like to help him, but I don’t know how if he doesn’t reach out,” you say, your voice calm so that Azriel does not accidentally hear you. 
“But doesn’t he work for the major, Rhysand? Doesn’t he pay him well?” You chuckle lightly at that and give your head a tiny shake. “No, he quit there quite some time ago to focus on his music.” 
Azriel has not really announced it that big back then, only when you asked him why he was not going to leave the house in the morning he told you. 
“Oh, that makes sense. It is so hard to earn money in this business. 30 bucks is all I got for the show last night.”
“I am sorry to hear that. You deserve 30 million for how good you are.” A blush fills Gwyn’s cheeks and rolls her eyes. “Stop being so cute.”
You smile at your best friend, but it doesn’t reach your eyes, your whole focus on Azriel and how you can help him. Gwyn must have noticed since she tells you that she has to leave and that you should go talk to him. You say is currently showering as you can hear the water running and she laughs wickedly and tells you to join him. 
You swat at her shoulder. “It was a joke, Y/N.” She still cackles when she shoves your towards the corridor and then gives you a quick hug as goodbye. You hug her back and tell her thank you, before she slips through the door, leaving.
Bracing your in wool socks covered feet on the ground, you ball your hand into fists and draw in a deep breath. You listen to the water being turned off, not really sure if you should wait here or in front of his room or if you should wait in your own room. You somehow wish Cass was here, it would make things easier.
And what would you even say now? How would you address the problem without making him feel bad? Or embarrassed? It is the last thing you want. You want him to feel comfortable and not like he should feel less just because he cannot pay the rent. He should—
The door to the bathroom opens and reveals…Azriel…just with a towel around his waist. His gaze immediately lands on you because you still stand in the middle of the corridor, fingers still curled towards your palms. His eyes lock with yours and for a moment neither of your speaks. You force your eyes to stay on his and not follow this one, single droplet, slowly sliding down your roommate’s toned chest, to the strong muscles on his lower abdomen, to the edge of the towel—
You snap your gaze back to his, feeling heat creep into your skin, filling you with colour from your cleavage up to the top of your head. 
“We need to talk!” you quickly say and cringe at how hard it sounded. Great, that is exactly what you have wanted—not.
Azriel furrows his brows but slowly dips his chin and extends his hand, showing you to his room. You follow silently and he holds the door open for you. Once inside you can practically cut the tension with a knife. You somehow want a hole to appear in the floor, to suck you in and never spit you out again, because this is uncomfortable. And it will get a lot more uncomfortable. 
Before you can say anything Azriel shuffles over to the desk, picks up an envelope and hands it to you. He does not say anything, but the shadows in his eyes and the how hard he clenches his jaw speak volumes. “My part of rent,” he says, his voice empty of all kind of softness, leaving a rough statement behind. 
“Thank you,” you says and add, “this is partly what I want to talk with you about.” You cannot stand this odd tension and situation anymore and then do the one thing that makes it maybe even more odd.
You go over to his bed and plop down, folding one leg under yourself.
Azriel leans against his desk, crossing his arms over his chest, not seeming uncomfortable with you sitting on his bed but rather with the whole situation. Azriel has an inkling of what you want to talk about and he desperately wants to avoid this question. “Is money a problem for you? You can tell me—“ “No, it is not. I have a job now. Can you leave please?” You have expected a lot but not that answer. Not so sharp. And not so quick. You wince slightly, eyes going wide. Azriel is so cold and it hurts you. He has never been cold. He has always been calm and reserved, but always kind and warm. Nothing is left of this and you worry that you might be the reason for it. Maybe you have intruded his personal space, imposed yourself and this was now your price to pay—his indifference and cold. 
“Azriel, I am sorry, I just—“ “Just go, please.” It pains Azriel to talk to you like that, has he come to like you so much over the time he has been living with you. Gods, he has been falling for you since quite a while and this is exactly why he doesn’t want to talk with you about this. He doesn’t want you to think he is a loser, a failure, someone who does not have control over his life. 
His heart cracks when he sees the disappointed look on your face, knowing he has hurt you. 
“Alright,” you say and slowly get up from the bed. “If you want to talk or if you need anything,” —you push down the handle, opening the door— “you know where to find me.” You step out onto the corridor, Azriel still leaning against his desk. His gaze moves to the ground, he grinds his teeth so hard that his jaw aches. Closing his eyes, the moment the door falls shut, Azriel exhales loudly and wipes his hand over his head. “Fuck!” he expresses through gritted teeth. 
It is around twenty minutes later when a soft knock sounds from your door and lift your gaze. Moving your bookmark into your book, you place it on the bed beside you and open your mouth. “Come in.” 
Azriel is now dressed in grey sweatpants, still no shirt, but at least no longer just a towel. He looks like a picture of misery when he slowly waddles in and sucks his lower lip between his teeth.
“I wanted to apologise for earlier. It wasn’t fair and I didn’t want to come around as so rude. I didn’t mean to upset you.” You sit up in bed. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Azriel. And it is fine, you don't have to apologise.”
He closes the distance between the door and your bed and lets himself fall onto it, his eyes searching yours. “It is not fine. You are right. You have been right…I…”
Azriel momentarily looks at the ceiling, searching for the right words. Shame fills every fiber of his body when his heart drops into his belly. “I have a problem with money. I just…I don’t have a lot of money. None somehow. I started this job, a delivery job that is why I got home drenched in rain the other day.”
“Oh, Azriel…” you breathe and slide your hand over his, squeezing softly. “You could have told me. I could have just paid your part of the rent for this month.” “No, you could have not. I don’t want you to pay my things just because I am not able to. This is embarrassing.” “Not at all,” you argue and lean closer to him. “This is not embarrassing. Everyone can have issues with money. You just quit your job and—“ “Should be earning money with my music if I would not fail so greatly.” That is enough for you. Making a tiny leap forward, you cradle his face in your palms and stare deeply into his eyes. “Azriel, you listen to me now,” you say sternly, “your music is amazing, but you are only in this business for a few weeks. What did you expect? To earn millions after this short amount of time? It is fine. I told you already. And I am sure you will soon earn a lot with your music, but remember: good things take time.”
Smiling slightly, Azriel leans forward and places his forehead against yours. “I don’t deserve a roommate like you.”
“You do,” you whisper, giving his head another tiny squeeze. 
“The next time you ever need help or just need someone to talk, please, don't wait for that long again…”
“I won’t,” Azriel hums and it is the sincerity in his voice that tells you he really won’t. His arm moves around you and Azriel pulls you to his chest, hugging you before kissing the top of your head. 
“Want to show me the song you have written the other day? And then we could watch a movie?” you ask against his shoulder. 
When you pull back Azriel’s lips are curled upwards and his eyes are filled with so much hope, so much life agsin. “You really want to hear?”
“Of course!” It is the excitement in your voice that makes Azriel's heart race. Relieved and delighted he jumps out, dashes to his room and returns a moment later with his guitar and a piece of paper. You scoot over on the bed to make room for him and climb under the blanket when Azriel places the sheet of paper on the bed in front of you. He sits cross-legged on the bed, his guitar placed on his thighs. Both leaning agains the headboard and your head resting on Azriel's shoulder listening to his lovely voice and him softly his guitar, admiration and awe radiating from every fiber of your body and hopefully reaching him. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tags (crossed-out I couldn't tag) : @juulle987 @marimorena06 @danikasthings @younxii @nightcourtwritings @mrofontaine @lunalilyf @whor-3-crux @tired-all-the-time @anni-was-here @ummmmmwat @azbracadabra @j-pendragonx @hollyismentallyillhelp @famousbasementpainter @bsenpai @lena-davina @red-highlady @thesugatoyourtae @azrielsbabyg @cityofidek @moony-thoughts @wrensical003 @cherryjain17 @moonfawnx @crushedcloudsx @devilsfoodcake22  @valeriedarkness @azrielscertifiedslut @mulansaucey @cynicalpotato95 @hanasakr @high-bi-andreadytocry @eerievixen @feyretopia @moonlightazriel @randomness-it-is @brekkershadowsinger @eliieee23 @girasoli-e-sorrisi @illyrianvalkyriecarynthian  @kennedy-brooke @highladyofillyria @theworthlessqueen @marina468 @topaz125 @illyrian-dreamer @azriels-mate 123
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thisgirlnamedblusy · 1 year ago
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Hi I hope you have a great day/night. I love your work and I wanted to request something please (if you don't want it's totally okay)
So I want to request a Marylin with Student reader but R is Larissa daughter. R and Mary are already but they didn't tell to Larisa yet and one day she caught them and confronted them.
Thanks you and see you next time
Yesss!!! Here it is!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :))))))
The Weems girl secret
Pairing: Marilyn Thornhill x Fem, Student! Reader
Warnings: Angst, fluff, reader is Larissa’s daughter
Word count: 5,484
Summary: You were the Principal Weems’ little girl, but you have a big secret that you try to hide the best way you can
N/A: Requests are open!!! Sorry about the delays and for not posting this week, I’m having a very stressful time at work :((( I’m sorry about that, I love you all, and thank you for your support
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“How are the classes going? Miss Green told me that you are a prodigy in literature...” Said your mother, Larissa Weems, in one of her infinite attempts to stop feeling guilty about sending you to Nevermore, the school of which she was the principal.
You shrugged as you took a sip of your chocolate milkshake.
“I guess so,” you sighed.
Larissa looked at you, analyzing your gestures.
“Come on, talk to me (Y/N), you can't stay angry with me…” She told you. You smiled wryly.
“I'm not angry, it's just that everyone knows that I'm your daughter, no one tells me anything at all. It's frustrating,” you said, crossing your arms and constantly looking at the clock. “I have to go.”
“You have to go? Where?” Your mother asked, arching an eyebrow. Even when you did everything she told you, you couldn't get rid of those uncomfortable interrogations.
You shifted in the chair, nervously looking everywhere.
“Well, to sleep, I'm very tired today,” you said, faking a yawn.
Larissa looked at you suspiciously. You weren't good at lying, you didn't know how to lie and you never needed to, but on that occasion you had to do it, it was more than obligatory.
“Darling...” Your mother sighed, preventing you from getting up.
“What?” You asked in your usual teenage tone. She looked at you carefully.
“I have the feeling that you are hiding something from me,” She said with half-closed eyes, paying attention to all your small expressions, altered by your nerves.
“Yes, I'm sleepy,” you said, looking away from her accusatory eyes and freeing yourself from her grip. Larissa sighed, but she finally let your arm go, watching you walking away.
Nervously, you walked through the hallways, constantly checking your watch. You had something important to do and your mother's constant questions and attempts at fraternization made your free will around school very difficult for you, especially lately, especially since you had a secret, something that you couldn't let to be discovered.
Looking around, you knocked on the wooden door. Being in the hallway where the teachers lived was always a risk, a risk that you took every night, that you accepted every night as a routine.
“(Y/N), you’ve come...” Marilyn Thornhill, your botany teacher, sighed.
“Well, of course I have. It's not easy to get rid of my mother, but here I am,” you said with a smile. She handed it back to you and stepped away so you could enter the room.
When the redhead closed the door, the two of you stood looking at each other for a brief moment, before Marilyn approached, gently grabbed your waist and kissed you tenderly on the lips. You smiled when you felt the kiss. That was the only thing that could make you forget all your problems.
It seemed like something impossible, unattainable, but when by mistake you confessed the love you felt for your teacher, you discovered that impossible was nothing, that she had also been repressing her feelings, that her favorite student was something more than just that.
Logically, that kind of relationship was dangerous, it exceeded the limits of Nevermore, the rules and the school ethical code. But that wasn't the biggest problem. The biggest problem was your mother, the principal.
Fighting not to be discovered was simple, at least until that moment. But with the passage of time, and the consolidation of a loving relationship, a real, authentic one, your way of being was affected and your mother, always on the lookout, noticed it.
“I've missed you...” You whispered in the redhead's ear. She laughed and hugged you tightly, placing small kisses on your neck.
“(Y/N), you saw me in class this morning,” she said amused, caressing your cheek. You smiled and nodded, rolling your eyes.
“It's not the same, and you know it,” you said with a falsely dark tone. “You got it? Do you have it?” You asked impatiently. Marilyn bowed her head and walked to her desk.
“Here it is... A cabin for two...” She said, handing you a sheet of paper that you looked at as if it were a treasure.
“I can't wait...” You sighed, looking again at the small cabin that would be your home that weekend.
“Do you already know what are you going to tell your mother?” She asked curiously. “You know it's not easy to fool Larissa.”
You sighed, shaking your head. The idea of spending a weekend with Marilyn, away from Nevermore, alone, had occupied your mind those days and you hadn't even bothered to think of an excuse. The realization made your legs tremble.
“The truth is I don’t…” You said discouraged. “I guess I'll ask my classmates for help.”
Marilyn frowned and crossed her arms.
“(Y/N), that's not a good idea,” she said with a serious tone. You snorted.
“I know, but it's the only excuse I have,” you said, sitting on the bed. “I sure can count on the Weems advantage.”
“The Weems advantage?” The redhead asked, sitting next to you.
You nodded thoughtfully.
“Being the principal's daughter has its advantages, you know, I can sneak into her office and get the files. I'm sure many of my colleagues would pay to have that information.
“That's dangerous,” Marilyn said.
“I know, but it's worth it to be with you,” you said carefree, smiling innocently. Marilyn shook her head, biting her lip.
“You're hopeless, (Y/N),” she said amusedly, kissing you again. “You are crazy.”
“Yes, for you,” you teased, lying down. “What are we going to watch today? I hope you take my recommendations into account.”
The nights were like that. There was nothing beyond kissing. Marilyn was a cautious woman, she did not want to take risks. You felt somewhat frustrated by that attitude, but you never insisted on taking another step in the relationship. That fabulous weekend that was about to arrive would be the best moment.
In her room, you watched movies, series, you laughed, you kissed, you hugged. It was like a little refuge for you, a refuge full of pure, innocent love, and above all, a true one.
And there, lying on the bed, with your hands intertwined, watching anything on the computer, you passed the time. Between kisses, caresses and laughter. Something that on the one hand was frustrating, but on the other hand you believed that they were the best moments of the day, and of your entire life.
“Well, it's over,” the redhead said, when the credit titles appeared on the screen. “It has been well…”
“I know, I have chosen it,” you said with a mischievous look. “Wait, wait,” you said, grabbing Marilyn's arm, who was about to get up. “Can't we stay like this a little longer?”
“(Y/N)…” She said, in a warning tone.
“Come on, please…” You said, pouting exaggeratedly. Marilyn opened her mouth to say something, but at the last moment she changed her mind and went back to lie down next to you.
You smiled victoriously, settling into her chest again as her hand stroked your hair.
After a few minutes, and making an effort not to close her eyes, the redhead sighed melancholy. You looked up curiously.
“What are you thinking about?” You asked. Marilyn looked at you and shook her head.
“I think that if they catch us things are going to go really bad,” she told you in a serious, but at the same time sad tone. “This is very risky.”
You shook your head.
It wasn't the first time Marilyn questioned your relationship. It's not that she didn't love you, quite the opposite, rather it was a rational concern. You were who you were. A student, the principal's daughter. She was your teacher.
“Without risk there is no victory, Mari,” you said amused, kissing her briefly on the lips. She laughed and shook her head, caressing your cheek.
“And what is the victory?” She asked, looking you straight in the eyes. You opened your eyes wide, thinking of an answer that you didn't have at that moment.
“Well... Being together,” you said sighing, shrugging your shoulders. “But I guess not this way… Stop hiding… You know, let classes end and I'm no longer your student. I think that is where we have to get to.”
Marilyn nodded with a sad smile, looking into your eyes in that way that made you melt.
“(Y/N), there's still your mother,” she said, kissing you, pulling you closer to her.
“What's wrong with my mother?” You asked annoyed. The same topic always came up.
“Do you really think she would accept what we had?”
“Why not?”
Marilyn laughed nervously, shifting on the bed.
“You're 20 years old, I'm 43, I'm your teacher…” She began to say, getting you to roll your eyes when you heard the same words as always.
“You won't be forever.”
“I'm supposed to take care of you.”
“And you do it.”
“(Y/N), stop fooling yourself, Larissa will never accept our relationship.”
You snorted, unable to convince the redhead.
“She'll accept it. And if she won’t, well, I don't care about her, I'm not going to give up on you,” you said, crossing your arms, indignant. She remained thoughtful, with a half smile.
“(Y/N)…” She whispered. You looked at her sharply, suppressing the smile she always managed to get out of you.
“What?”
“I love you,” she said softly, approaching you, silencing your possible response with a tender, warm kiss. You let yourself go, deepening her kiss, hugging the redhead, losing control.
Delicately, you lay on top of her, while the caresses ran through your entire body. Your breathing became disordered, rapid, uncontrollable, as did your desire. You didn't have that rational way of seeing things, you simply acted according to your instincts.
Marilyn, however, realized what she was doing and put a hand on your chest to stop those kisses, those caresses that were little by little getting out of control.
“Honey, no, we can't, not here...” She said, fighting against herself, brushing her lips with yours. You sighed and gave her no respite. You kissed her again, this time more intensely, passionately.
“What does it matter...” You said against her lips. The redhead stopped you again, shaking her head.
“Can't you wait for the weekend? The two of us will be alone there...” She said amusedly, fleeing from your caresses as her own desire allowed her.
“No,” you said dryly, lifting your shirt over your shoulders. At that moment she froze, admiring parts of your body that she had never seen before, becoming dazed, running her hand over your collarbone, over your belly...
“Please, stop...” She said to you, although it seemed more like she was talking to herself, while the buttons on her blouse gave way to the skillful attacks of your fingers.
“No...” You sighed, kissing her neck, biting her lips, going wild.
Three soft knocks on the door almost gave you a heart attack. You both widened your eyes, scared.
“Marilyn? It’s Larissa,”  
“Shit,” you said. “Shit, shit, shit.”
“My God, it's your mother, what does she want?” Marilyn whispered, buttoning her blouse again.
You were nervous, looking for your shirt on the bed, trying to think clearly.
“How can I know?” You said nervously. “Oh God, oh God, oh God.”
Marilyn stood up, looking for a good place to hide you.
She quickly grabbed your wrist.
“To the closet, quick, quick, quick,” she told you, pushing you into the cabinet, leaving your shirt abruptly on your chest.
“But...” You said before the redhead closed the door.
“Stay there…” She whispered to you. You were terrified, your whole body was shaking. Also, the closet was small, you didn't have room to put your shirt back on. Rarely have you been so afraid.
You heard the door open and the unmistakable sound of your mother's heels on the wood.
“Larissa... What's wrong?” Marilyn asked, unable to control the trembling tone of her voice.
“Does something have to happen for me to want to talk to the only person with common sense in Nevermore?” Your mother asked, with some irony, closing the bedroom door.
You stayed hidden in that closet, avoiding making any movement that would open the wooden door.
“Talk?” Marilyn asked, nervous. You couldn't even see her and you already knew what she looked like. Shaky, blushing and nervous.
“Yes, unless I’m interrupting something,” Larissa drawled.
One of your tremors pushed the closet door open, causing it to squeak just enough to be noticeable. Luckily, Marilyn stepped in front of it, immediately closing it and hitting your nose in the process.
“No, no, I was reading...” She said nervously, holding the door with her hand. “What do you want to talk about?”
“(Y/N),” she said, sitting on the bed. “That girl has me very worried.”
You held your breath when you heard your name. You certainly didn't expect Larissa to want to talk about you, much less to Marilyn. That made you suspect that something was wrong.
“What's wrong with (Y/N)?” The redhead asked.
“She's always been a strange girl, but lately she's starting to worry me,” your mother said, sighing. “And that's not the worst thing, on top of that I went to see her in her room and guess what: she wasn't there.”
“Oh, well, she maybe is with one of her friends,” Marilyn said, with an innocent tone, unable to convince anyone that she was telling the truth. Luckily, it seemed like Larissa trusted her.
“I doubt it, Marilyn…” Your mother said. “You get along well with her, right?” She asked. You gave a small start, pursing your lips so that your frightened breathing was inaudible.
“Um... Well I...” Marilyn said.
“Oh, come on Marilyn, she spends every afternoon with you in the conservatory. She probably tells you more things.”
“The truth is, she only helps me with the plants, she is a nice girl,” the redhead said, sitting next to Weems.
“And I suppose that during all that time you talk about something, right?”
Marilyn nodded and shook her head. She didn't know what to say to that, she was almost cornered. You couldn't move, or even barely breathe, predicting a truly uncomfortable conversation.
“Well, about the plants, about the classes...” Marilyn said, smiling shyly.
“Please,” Larissa said with a sharp voice. “I have been the Nevermore’s principal for 10 years, I know what happens in every corner of the school. It's clear that something is happening here.”
“What... What do you mean?” Marilyn asked, stuttering.
“Don't play dumb, you know perfectly well,” Larissa said, sharp, threatening.
That was the end. You didn't know how, but surely your mother had been aware of your nightly skirmishes for some time and surely that visit was just one of her tricks to make Marilyn confess. You were done.
“(Y/N) is dating someone, right?” Your mother asked.
You sighed in relief, having to put a hand over your mouth to silence your breathing. You were on the verge of fainting.
“I, I don't know,” Marilyn said, sighing too.
“I'm sure you know, and if you don't want to tell me it's because I'm not going to like it, am I wrong?”
“I promise you I don't know anything,” Marilyn said, gesturing with her arms in surrender.
“Hmm,” your mother murmured.
“A, also, (Y/N) she is a smart girl, I'm sure if what you’re saying is true, you shouldn't worry.”
“Don't be so sure, Marilyn. I know my daughter, if she hasn't wanted to tell me anything it's because she knows that I'm not going to like it.”
“Well, she's old enough,” Marilyn said, with a slightly annoyed tone.
“That's what scares me. Look, Marilyn, (Y/N) is a good girl, too good, in fact. I don't want some jerk to break her heart... I can't help but worry,” your mother said, with a sincere tone.
“I understand, Larissa.”
“Good, because I have to ask you a favor.”
You were very attentive, and you sensed the unpleasant task that she was going to propose.
“Yes, of course,” Marilyn said, with her usual smile.
“If you have the chance... I would like you to try to get some information out of (Y/N). She trusts you, I'm sure that if you ask her, she will have no problem telling you anything. She always speaks when she feels confident.”
That made your blood boil.
“Are you asking me to spy on your daughter?” The redhead asked with a gesture as surprised as it was amused.
“No, God no...” Larissa said, with a fake smile. Clearly, that was precisely what she was asking for. “I only ask that if she tells you something that you think is important, you let me know. Don't force it, just be natural. I'm asking this as a personal favor, Marilyn, I can't think of anyone better than you.”
“I... Well, that's, that's fine. I’ll try,” the redhead said, getting up from the bed, looking fearfully at the closet, which threatened to open again.
“Thank you, Marilyn. I count on you. Anyway, I'm going to try to get some sleep,” your mother said, heading towards the door.
You closed your eyes as you heard the heels on the wood, getting further and further away, until the familiar squeak of the door reached your ears.
“Quick, get out,” Marilyn said, opening the closet and pulling you along. You almost stumbled, but managed to stay on your feet, holding back your laughter.
“My name is Thornhill, Marilyn Thornhill, license to spy,” you said jokingly, adopting the pose of the famous secret agent. The redhead shook her head, sighing.
“It's not funny, (Y/N). You have no idea how bad it has been,” she told you, falling onto the bed.
“What about me? You broke my nose,” you said, rubbing it.
“If your mother catches you here, she would break mine,” Marilyn responded. “This is very difficult, (Y/N)...”
You finally put on your shirt and sat down, putting a hand on her leg.
“Eh, I'm sure she would forget, don't worry. Just tell her a lie,” you said in a pleasant tone, downplaying that disturbing situation.
“A lie? I don't know how to lie...” She sighed, caressing your cheek when you lay down next to her.
“Mari, don't worry, besides, tomorrow is Friday. Surely the romantic weekend helps to clarify your ideas.”
“Or to dig my own grave...”
“Well, I think I'll go to my room before Warden Weems gets the key and rummages through my drawers…” You said, kissing her briefly and getting up from the bed. “Tomorrow at the usual time in the conservatory?”
She nodded, looking at you tenderly. Sometimes your optimism was beyond the limits of a common person, but that was cute, funny.
The next day…
“Well, I'm leaving,” you said to your friends, getting up from the table in the quad where you were enjoying a pleasant autumn afternoon. There were only a few hours left for your trip and you were nervous. Luckily, your friends had agreed to cover for you. They were the best friends in the world.
“I thought you would go at night,” Enid said, the most nosy of all.
“Oh yes, but I'm meeting Miss Thornhill in the conservatory to help her. I can not deny,” you said, taking your bag.
“You are a serious nice talker, (Y/N),” your friend Yoko said.
“I do what I can,” you said with a smile, walking towards the old glass building.
There, as always, Marilyn was organizing the plants. You stayed for a moment admiring that woman. She was the best thing that had ever happened to you, despite the differences, despite all the obstacles that were between you. Her tenderness and innocence captivated you. You could be looking at her all day.
A vibration interrupted your fantasies.
“Oh, don't fuck with me,” you whispered, taking out your phone, which was agonizingly warning you that it had no battery left. “You are a disaster, (Y/N)…”
Sighing, but with a nonchalant shrug, you walked into the conservatory, taking a quick look around.
“(Y/N), is nice to see you,” the redhead said with a perhaps too wide smile.
“Yes, keep pretending that you don't see me every day,” you said jokingly, leaving your bag on her desk. “What are you doing?”
“Well, watering the plants, is quite obvious,” she said with a smile, grabbing a watering can. You nodded unconcerned.
“Hey, I have great news,” you said, getting a little closer to her. Marilyn looked at you and nodded for you to continue. “I already have an alibi. My friends are a treasure… I already have everything prepared for the trip. I can't wait to get out of here...”
“Oh, the trip, of course,” she said, with a strange expression.
“Imagine being far away from Nevermore, far from my mother... With the person I love... Alone... under the fire of a romantic fireplace...” You said, wandering erratically around the building, making exaggerated gestures, as if you were in a modern art performance. “Doesn't it seem ideal to you? I have to admit that when you proposed the idea of the cabin in the woods I wasn't very convinced, but I've thought about it better. I can't think of a more romantic place.”
Marilyn looked at the floor for a moment and made another strange face. But in an instant her face smiled again, placing a hand on her waist.
“You know I always have good ideas,” she said whispering. “And regarding that loved one… I suppose you really want to be alone with her…”
You blinked, but you didn't even pay attention to those words. Marilyn was like that, she liked to play with you, bring out everything you had inside, especially the feelings you had towards her. You didn't find it strange.
“Yes... It's about time. I swear I'm not going to get out of bed.”
Marilyn smiled but she couldn't hide a gesture of surprise, something that did seem strange to you.
“Was there an energy point here?” You asked, taking your charger out of your bag.
She nodded, pointing to a power strip under her desk. Finally, you put your phone on charge.
Taking advantage of the fact that her back was turned, you hugged her waist. She stood stiff, firm, scared.
“(Y/N)...”she stammered, barely moving.
You, amused at seeing her nervous, ran her hair over her shoulder and kissed her neck, heading towards her ear.
“What's wrong, Marilyn?” You whispered suggestively. “Are you nervous? Don't worry, I've already told you that my mother's situation is under control.”
She didn't respond, she simply walked away from you, turning around.
“(Y/N),”she said when you approached, biting your lip, ready to give her a kiss. She mysteriously backed away. “Wait, wait a minute, I, I don't...”
Before you could react, a vibration from your phone interrupted you. You went to look at it with a smile.
“I'm sure it’s my annoying mother, she'll want to know where I am. She certainly looks like a police officer. But hey, now that you're her insider, I think we can rest easy. I swear I almost fell out of that closet yesterday... It was funny.”
“Yes...” The redhead sighed, frowning. “Very funny…”
Winking at her, you looked at the screen. You went pale, confused. It wasn't your mother who sent you the message, it was someone you didn't expect, that wasn't possible. It was a message from Marilyn, and her words did not help you catch your breath: Today it will take me a little longer to go to the conservatory, I have several surprises for our trip. Wait for me there.
“Oh, no...” You whispered, looking at the time she sent it. It was only ten minutes ago. There was no way she was in front of you, there was no way she was Marilyn. You went into shock, unable to even blink.
What came next was worse. Marilyn, the real Marilyn, came into the conservatory with a couple of shopping bags.
“Hello honey, sorry about the delay, but I had to buy some…” She changed her face, dropping the bags. It was logical, her double was in front of her, with a angry face. “Things…”
You looked at both of them repeatedly, lamenting, nervous.
“Shit…” You said, seeing how the Marilyn you were talking to became your mother again. “Shit…”
“Larissa,” she sighed the redhead, with the same pale and confused face as you. “What's happening?”
“That I screwed it up…” You said, with your whole body trembling.
“But, but, haven't you read the message I sent you?” She said, upset, without paying attention to your mother, who didn't look away from her, waiting for the perfect moment to attack, like a good predator.
“How do you want me to read it if it didn't have  battery?”
“Haven't you put it on charge?”
"Well, no, how was I going to know that my mother was going to pretend to be you?” You asked nervously, taking your hands to your head.
“Well, you should guess if you knew I wasn't here,” she said, angry, nervous, embarrassed.
“I already told you that my phone didn’t have battery!” You yelled, letting out some nerves that were beginning to make your blood boil.
“Silence! Enough!” Your mother shouted. You both looked at each other and turned your head to Larissa, who had an unreadable expression.
“Mom, I...” You said, trying to find a good excuse, although you knew perfectly well that there was none.
“Silence, (Y/N), I don't want to hear a single word,” your mother said, serious, blunt. “Now I’m beginning to understand many things.”
“Larissa, I…” Marilyn said.
“I told you to be quiet,” The principal responded. I don't know how I could have been so blind. All this time worried, I thought about who my daughter could be spending time with and it turns out that she had extracurricular classes with her teacher. It's disgusting, Marilyn, it's so unlike you that I don't even recognize you.”
The two of you looked at each other, giving up, waiting for the fight that was coming and in which there was no place to take refuge.
“This, this has an explanation...” The redhead whispered, her voice breaking.
“What explanation? Marilyn, I trusted you. I considered you a friend, a person with principles. It's incredible that you betrayed me like this. With my daughter, Marilyn, with my own daughter…”
“I'm sorry, okay?” Marilyn said, defensively. “I, I couldn't help it.”
“Oh, you couldn't help it,” Larissa said, with a mocking tone. “Don't make excuses, Marilyn, she's a kid! Don't you realize what you've done?”
“Hey, she hasn't done anything,” you said, trying to defend the woman you loved.
“You better shut up young lady, you and I will talk later. You're going to be grounded until the gorgons turn people into candy,” your mother said, hissing.
“That's not fair,” you said, protesting. Marilyn was already sobbing. For you it was a humiliating situation, but for her it must have been much more devastating.
“Larissa, I... No, it's not what you think...” The redhead said.
“It's not what I think,” she repeated again, with mockery, irony. “I don't have to think anything, Marilyn, I have seen it with my own eyes. I saw how my daughter was willing to kiss you here, at school, and I don't even want to imagine what she was doing last night hiding in your closet. I don't even want to think about it.”
“I was hiding,” you said, crying too.
“I can imagine that, (Y/N),” your mother hissed, getting dangerously close to you. “Since when has this been happening? When did you start laughing in my face?”
Marilyn did not respond, she stood with her head bowed, staring at the floor, trembling, unable to maintain her composure.
“For longer than you think, mom,” you said defiantly.
“Marilyn, look at me in the eyes, or don't you dare to do it? You're involved with my daughter, with my girl! And you don't even dare to look at me in the eyes now,” Larissa said, ignoring your comment.
The redhead raised her head, looking at you briefly.
“I, I don't want to hurt your daughter, Larissa...” Marilyn said, sobbing. Larissa raised her eyebrows, laughing wryly, anger was clear in her eyes. “I love her.”
You looked at her suddenly, surprised by those words, by that unexpected response.
“You love her? But have you gone crazy?” Your mother said.
Marilyn nodded, taking your hand bravely. You were excited, leaving fear behind, feeling safe, reaffirming the feelings you had for her.
“We love each other, mom,” you said, supporting Marilyn, making her feel that you were on her side, that you always would be.
“Don't talk nonsense, (Y/N), you don't even know what you want… You're too young,” Larissa said, passing a hand over her forehead.
“Yes I know! I love her!” You shouted. “You always say that I should look for someone suitable, someone who really loves me, who cares about me... Well, very well, I've found her. Marilyn is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and you are not going to stop me from continuing to love her.”
Marilyn squeezed your hand tighter.
“But dear, don't you realize that that can't be possible? That is not good?”
“Who says it? You?” You said indignantly.
Your mother pressed her lips together hard, but she didn't respond, darkening her gaze.
“Larissa, I understand that you don't like it… And I understand that I'll have to leave Nevermore,” Marilyn said, getting your attention.
“I should fire you right now…” Larissa said.
“Very well, fire me,” the redhead said, defiant. “But that's not going to keep me away from (Y/N). I'm, I'm tired of being a coward. I shouldn't, but I'm honest, I love (Y/N) and would do anything for her.”
“And I would do anything for you…” You answered in a low voice, admiring with pleasure the change in attitude of the shy and innocent Marilyn.
“Oh my God…” Larissa sighed, resting her hands on her desk. “(Y/N)... Why are you making it so difficult for me?”
“You make it difficult,” you responded, no longer crying. “If Marilyn leaves, assume that I will go with her. I'm of legal age, I can do whatever I want. I don't care if you like it or don't like it, but I'm not going to give up the woman I love, so you can get used to it.”
Larissa approached threateningly, ready to slap you, to give you a corrective, but at the last moment she regretted it, clenching her fist and relaxing her face.
“(Y/N)...” She sighed, clasping her hands.
“Mom, please...” You said, watching how little by little she seemed to calm down.
“Marilyn,” she said, now looking at the redhead. “I should kick you out, report you to the police, yell at you, even break your nose... But... I'm not going to do it.”
“What?”
“I don't like it, I don't approve it, but I really can't think of anyone better for (Y/N)...” She said, without looking at you, walking around the same place. “If what you say is true... I can, I can let it go...”
You smiled and so did Marilyn. You both looked at each other in disbelief at those words.
“But I'm going to tell you one thing, Marilyn Thornhill...” She said, pointing her finger at your girlfriend. “If you think about harming my daughter, you will have to deal with me.”
“I will make her as happy as I can,” Marilyn said, looking at you with sincere love, with relief.
Larissa nodded.
“So I can go this weekend with her?” You said, jokingly, knowing that the danger had passed. You got a nudge from Marilyn, of course.
“Do whatever you want, but I, don’t, want, to know,” your mother said, leaving the building between indecipherable whispers and occasional bad words.
“Well, it’s done,” you said, hugging the redhead.
“And no signs of affection at school!” Your mother shouted, walking away.
“Oh my God, I thought it was going to give me a heart attack,” she said, resting her head on your shoulder.
“She will end up accepting it, believe me, I know her,” you said, kissing her on the lips.
“I'm not very sure, she will kill me when she has the chance.”
“Not if I'm here to prevent it,” you said amused, trying to forget the awkward moment. “Everything you said… It was beautiful.”
“I thought I was going to die,” Marilyn said, brushing a strand of hair away from your face.
“Well, at least I don't have to explain myself to anyone anymore,” you said, sighing. Marilyn looked at you with some pity.
“Will it go well for us?”
“Of course it will.”
“I hope you're right, (Y/N)... I could never live without you... Not anymore.”
“Me neither, Marilyn...”
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user777h · 4 months ago
Text
𝘊𝘢𝘭𝘮 𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘮
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Word count:851
Themes:Stress and Its Impact on Relationships,Support and Compassion,Communication,Personal Growth and Responsibility,Redemption and Forgiveness,Emotional Vulnerability
Seonghwa slammed the front door behind him, the force of it rattling the windows. The clock on the wall pointed to 1 AM, and the house was cloaked in an uneasy silence. His jaw was clenched so tightly that the muscles in his neck stood out, and his eyes were wild with barely contained fury. The day’s stress had transformed into a tangible cloud of anger that followed him home, ready to explode.
Y/N, who had been anxiously waiting in the living room, shot up from the couch. Worry etched deep lines into her face as she hurried towards him. “Seonghwa, you’re home late,” she said softly, her voice trembling slightly. “Are you okay?”
Seonghwa didn’t answer. He stormed past her, his breathing heavy and erratic. “I can’t believe them!” he shouted, his voice echoing off the walls. “How can they be so incompetent? Nothing went right today!”
Y/N flinched at his tone but approached him cautiously, trying to be a calming presence. “Please, Seonghwa,” she murmured, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “Calm down. You need to take your medication. It will help.”
He jerked his arm away, eyes flashing with a dangerous intensity. “I don’t need it!” he snarled. “I still feel angry all the time. It’s useless!”
Y/N took a step back, her heart aching to see him in such a state. “I know it’s hard, but you have to give it a chance,” she pleaded. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”
Seonghwa’s pacing became more frantic, his hands running through his hair in frustration. “They don’t understand the pressure I’m under. They expect miracles!” he shouted, his voice breaking with the weight of his stress.
Y/N watched him, feeling utterly helpless. She wanted to hold him, to comfort him, but she knew he wasn’t ready to accept it. The tension in the room was suffocating, a ticking bomb waiting to explode.
Suddenly, a small creak broke the charged silence. Both Seonghwa and Y/N turned to see their daughter, standing in the doorway, rubbing her sleepy eyes. Her stuffed bunny hung limply from her hand, and she looked tiny and vulnerable in her pink pajamas.
“Daddy, why are you so angry?” she asked in a small, scared voice, her eyes wide and teary.
Seonghwa’s demeanor changed instantly. The anger drained from his face, replaced by a look of guilt and concern. He knelt down to her level, his voice soft and soothing. “Jagi, I’m sorry,” he said gently. “Daddy’s just had a really tough day at work. But Mommy and I are okay, I promise.”
Jagi shuffled closer, clutching her stuffed animal tighter. “Can I sleep with you and Mommy tonight?”
Seonghwa glanced at Y/N, who gave him a small, understanding smile. “Of course you can, sweetheart,” he said, scooping her up in his arms. “Let’s all go to bed.”
They made their way to the bedroom, the air much calmer now. Seonghwa gently laid Jagi down between him and Y/N, pulling the covers up over them. Y/N nestled close, her hand finding Seonghwa’s and squeezing it gently.
“Thank you,” she whispered, her eyes meeting his in the dim light. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
Seonghwa sighed, a weight lifting off his shoulders as he gazed at his family. “I’m sorry for scaring you both,” he said, his voice choked with emotion. “I’ll take my medication tomorrow, I promise.”
Jagi snuggled into her father’s side, her little hand resting on his chest. “Daddy, I love you,” she murmured, already drifting back to sleep.
Seonghwa’s heart swelled with love and gratitude. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, his eyes misting with tears. “I love you too, Jagi.”
As they lay there, the darkness of the night enveloping them, Seonghwa felt a sense of peace he hadn’t experienced in a long time. He squeezed Y/N’s hand, a silent promise passing between them. She looked at him with soft, understanding eyes, her love and support a balm to his weary soul.
In the quiet of the night, surrounded by his family, Seonghwa finally felt the anger dissipate, replaced by a calm and gentle love that promised better days ahead. The stresses of the outside world faded into the background as the three of them lay together, finding solace and strength in their bond.
Y/N kissed Seonghwa’s cheek and whispered, “We’re here for you, always.”
Seonghwa closed his eyes, a tear slipping down his face. “Thank you,” he whispered back, his voice filled with gratitude. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
They held each other close, the warmth of their love wrapping around them like a protective shield. And in that moment, Seonghwa knew that no matter how tough things got, with Y/N and Jagi by his side, he could face anything.
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amphiptere-art · 1 month ago
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oh your the person who did the jack-o thing I very much enjoyed that I don't think we've had a conversation but I think I have seen you around I haven't interacted because you would like to write really long messages and I probably would read them but by the time I have the energy to read a long thing it's lost (at least I hope that's you that would be weird to say to you if it wasn't)
I'm kind of hungr and sleepy been like that for a while more sleepy than hungry though probably cuz I'm more stressed then I think I am
I probably shouldn't say that oh whatever I'm not erasing it I hate formatting in Tumblr asks and I love formatting but just Tumblr is bad for it I would not recommend writing in Tumblr I mean at least on mobile I don't use Tumblr on my computer
Hmmm want a poem? Too bad you're getting one
BY ROBERT FROST
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
This is one of my favorites I really like poetry I also like sending it to people a person I usually send it to has their asks closed though I actually write some to it on ao3 it's linked in my thing pinned post is the word I'm looking for I'm very sleepy anyway in my pen post is like a bunch of other stuff I do not to shamelessly advertise in your asks
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this is non-negligent manslaughter she say 'mew' not right now cuz she's sleeping on my chair she lets me touch her toe beans i got her for 20 bucks from the shelter she came without a uterus and with a microchip and I'd say that's a pretty good deal she is very kitten though she's only 5 months old 4 months old when I got her and I wanted a cat not kitten but the shelter didn't have any cats
I'm going to go eat a frozen pizza now maybe something else probably frozen pizza
Well hi! Nice to meet you too. I'm glad you like my little Jack thing! I think Jack has become my favorite DCA....
But yeah it's understandable We haven't talked. I'm trying to curve my big long paragraphs be shorter but we're still working on that. I've seen you around too. It's just usually in conversations I can't talk in.
Heheh. Yeah Tumblr can be a angry beast. Mobile isn't exactly fun. But that's what I do most of my stuff on so.... I suffer in silence.
That's an interesting poem? Is it supposed to be a horse slay? I've written poems before. Mostly because a lot of my characters talk in poems, or rhymes. But that's one intrigues me and I'm going to have to puzzle out what it's about.
I'll have to see if I can read up on some of your AO3 stuff. I've been reading more of that stuff lately, So it might be a treat.
Hello non-intelligent manslaughter. Hehehe. She looks like a sweetheart. Pretty lass. Hopefully the little kitty won't drive you insane. I know sometimes they can. I'm so glad all my cats are out of the kitten hood.
Enjoy your pizza! I think I'm going to reheat some mac and cheese.
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ro-writesstuff · 2 years ago
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Carlos Sainz- Dreams That Feel Like Nightmares
a/n: had a dream where I made out with carlos. how I wish that was reality.
summary: you have a nightmare where carlos tells you he never loved you.
pairing: carlos sainz x female!reader
warnings: cursing, angst, tears
word count: 991
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not my gif!
~
You were walking around the paddock- although something about it seemed weird about it this time- heading towards the Ferrari section. Though it was a beautiful day, your intuition told you something wasn’t right. Still, you brushed it off and tried to enjoy the scenery. Charles walked in the opposite direction of you, snapping you out of your thoughts.
“Y/N? What are you doing here?”
“What? What do you mean what am I doing here?” You said, concerned.
“Oh, you and Carlos worked it out then? I’m glad!” He said, turning back around.
Interesting, okay.
You turned around and ended up -somehow- at Carlos’s driver’s room, and knocked on his door. Of course, he answered, swiftly opening the door in his red team shirt, which you found most attractive on him.
“Charles I- Oh. Uh, hi Y/N,” He seemed agitated, but you figured he was probably stressed. “I thought I made it clear not to come this weekend.” He kept the door open to a minimum.
“What? You always want me to come to races.”
“Not this weekend.”
“What are you talking about? You told me to come this weekend.” You said, mocking his tone.
“No, no me escuchas you don’t listen to me,” He said, rubbing his temple.
You remember him telling you to come this specific weekend. He told you to come instead of next weekend because he and Charles had interviews to do so he’d rather you come on a weekend where you could actually see each other. You were 100% sure he said this weekend.
“What are you-? Love, I don’t know what-” You tried moving closer, but he stepped away.
“Don’t do that. Stop pretending like you love me.”
“Carlos, why-”
“You know what? I’m just gonna say it. I never loved you, okay? Ever. You never respect me, and for what it’s worth I hate you.”
~
Your eyes shot open to the darkness of your room. You sat up trying to catch your breath, your chest heaving back and forth. You still had that weird feeling in your stomach, still trying to adjust to what happened. Did your boyfriend just break up with you? You two were talking about getting married a month ago. Your brain kept trying to comprehend what the hell just happened.
“Mi amor my love, que pasó what happened?” Carlos shot up from his sleeping form, reaching over to you, checking to see what was happening.
You cursed at the movement coming from the other side of the bed. “Carlos?” Though it was dark, you could feel his eyes pleading to know what was wrong.
“Si. Si. yes. yes. Are you okay? What’s wrong?” His comforting voice threw you in an altered state. Two seconds ago he basically told you that you meant nothing to him.
You looked around, trying to decipher what was real and what wasn’t, failing miserably. You attempted to blink at nothing as Carlos turned on the bedside lamp. The soft, dim yellow light illuminated his sleepy figure. Did he really hate you? Was he acting just now? Why was he being so nice all of a sudden? “Um,”
His dark hair was a mess, and concern covered his face. “Did you have a bad dream?” He said, reaching to caress your arm. He was probably right, you’d just had a bad dream, but his words echoed through your head: I never loved you.
You pulled away at his touch rather quickly, causing him to worry. You’ve never shied away from him, only when you were angry. And this time you weren’t.
“Amor love, what’s wrong? You’re really scaring me.”
You tried to gather your thoughts with all the conflicting information you had. What was real? Did he actually love you?
“I- you- we…” You remembered everything from the dream, from the uneasy feeling from the start until the very end where your stomach dropped when your boyfriend said he hated you.
Tears started to stream down your face. You felt so stupid for even thinking for a split second that it was real. He’d never say that to you. He wasn’t that kind of person. He would never forgive you for thinking of him in that light.
Carlos quickly stepped in, practically hearing you think. He comforted you with a warm hug, shushing you and your thoughts. “Hey. Hey. It’s okay. I’m here, princesa. Shh. Está bien it’s okay, mi amor my love.”
A few minutes after your breath matched Carlos’s, Carlos lifted your head from his chest, wiping a few tears from underneath your eyes.
“Do you want to talk about it, amor?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. It seems stupid now,” You said, feeling self-conscious. You knew now he would never in a million years say something like that to you.
“Nothing that comes from that brain is stupid.”
You gave him a soft smile. How’d you get so lucky?
“Whenever you’re ready, princesa.”
You planted your face back into his shoulder as he held you, softly stroking your hair. After a minute or so, you started talking.
“You, you said you never loved me… and that, uh, that you hated me,” You said, quietly.
His hand stopped dead in its tracks. You swore you felt his heart stop. “Oh. No, no no mi amor. That couldn’t be further from the truth, huh? I love you. So so much. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you, hmm? In all the languages I know.”
You nodded, slightly smiling.
He didn’t seem very convinced. “Hey. I love you.” He cupped your face with his hands, making you look at him. He needed to make sure that you knew.
“I know.” You said, softly. You knew he did. He always expressed his feelings for you, telling you that you were his most favorite person on Earth, and how the gods knew he needed someone like you. At the bottom of your heart, you knew he always had and will love you.
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