#am i self projecting? maybe a little bit shhhh i have experience with this

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

reading your tags and realizing the angst potential of the childhood friends AU :3c (I love angst with fluff/good endings sm, cannot handle ones with none at all :,D)

like. imagine being his best friend when you two were young, knowing he's changed ever since you lost him for a few days, but you were there for him, hoping things will be okay. then you meet up with him, and things looked very promising! you knew him too well and he's almost the same Ajax you knew and adored! possibly pining for each other too hehe

that was until you caught him murdering someone you likely knew (but you weren't close or anything, you just know them from work maybe?) and seeing the look in his eyes, realized this isn't his first, second, or third time doing this. you knew the light in his eyes was gone when you found him again, you knew he was different, he was resorting to violence and you did expect him to still be like that, honestly. but not like this. the betrayal hits you hard, but you still gave him a chance. albeit it, at the cost of how betrayed and a bit emotionless towards him. it was different but you tried to warm up, even if this was the outcome.

imagine meeting Legacy for the first time though… he's having a meltdown, you probably heard or seen him once or twice, but not a lot. (probably in your childhood though eheh~) you'd approach him cautiously, trying to hush him down a bit. Legacy better kneels down because you'll gently hold his face, rest your forehead against his and murmur some soft words that you used to tell Ajax when he was upset as a kid. even if you're betrayed, it wasn't fair for you to feel like that towards Legacy, knowing they're somewhat different? you're not leaving his side even if he calms down, gently telling Legacy to please be okay and know that you're not mad at him.

possibly even saying that even if you're betrayed, you don't hate Ajax, because surely he's there listening, right? you're just upset that things turned out to be like this, but you can't hate him even if you honestly wanted to. you feel like you should, but you can't. he's your first, and only friend you have, and is someone you deeply cherished.

right now, you want him to know that it's okay, things will work out slowly. well, you want Legacy to know that the most.

(may or may not be a re-occurring anon dropping some minor scenarios i'm too shy and i don't wanna flood your inbox with some ramblings ah- I love your FL content so much thank you for blessing us with this <3 <3)

aaaa you and me both, anon!!!! angst with happy endings is my bread and butter, since i love writing feelings but i want everyone to end up happy :D

oh but just imagine Foul Legacy inside Ajax's mind, watching you witness your best friend kill someone, watching you step back in horror- he whines so desperately, clawing at the boundary between Ajax's body and his to tell you not to be afraid, to hold you close and show how much they both truly care for you because he, the Abyssal half of your friend, loves you too

but he's too weak, and is stuck watching you grow closed off and wary of Ajax- it's so hard to give him a second chance when you're having doubts that he ever cared for you at all

so when you finally come face-to-face with Foul Legacy, he thinks you're going to despise him- after all, he represents everything that changed and warped Ajax into how he is today, so why wouldn't you hate him? but instead you approach slowly, whispering and hushing him to calm his frazzled nerves until he can at least tell the world apart, leaning into your touch as an anchor to reality so you can wipe away his tears. you can tell immediately, whether by the soft whines that slip from his fanged mouth or the way his claws wrap around your hands, that Foul Legacy is not Ajax- or at least, not entirely. so you settle yourself beside him, linking your hands around your knees and striking up a conversation about anything and everything to help him calm down. eventually you hear his breathing even out, occasionally rumbling or humming in response to something you said, and suddenly a weight settles on your shoulder as he unabashedly snuggles his face into your neck

it's been so long since you've been this close to him or Ajax, and when you pet his hair Foul Legacy shivers and purrs

he listens to you talk about the recent years and your conflicted feelings, the way you know you should hate Ajax but just can't, how you're so lonely all the time because you really can't bring yourself to believe that Ajax even considers you a friend anymore, and Foul Legacy whimpers at the way your voice hitches as you hold back tears

but then you smile, just barely, and scritch behind his horns, saying that there's no way you could ever hate him- none of this is his fault after all, and Foul Legacy's been nothing but sweet to you. you're not sure when he'll have to disappear and Ajax will return, but at least you can stave off the loneliness and savor his presence while it lasts, curling up in his arms and listening to his deep, rumbling purrs of relief

[pixs-pinings]

Me? Interested in Persona 5? No wayyy...

Warning for long post!

I had this written differently before I accidentally closed this tab, but I recovered the infodump well!

So... Yeah, Ribbon! My Persona 5 SI, my Phantom Thief SI. Still want to work on a possible real name- I wanted to go with a continuation of the plot threads I thought of with my P4 si, but... nah. Two separate SIs. Even if P5 si was also from the real world, I want them to be different for. Reasons.

She would awaken in the same place as Makoto- Kaneshiro's palace. I want to slip her in somewhere, and I feel like that case would feel the most... Natural? After futaba, a lot of shit picks up, and, as seen with Haru, can be a bit awkward. (And... Yes. I'm going to try to make that arc...... Not Suck? Maybe keep Morgana self loathing but...)

As for her awakening itself... She and Makoto have similar reasons! Both of them were previously known as prim and proper students, but then awaken to a sense of Justice, and are able to go all out. After looking a bit into myself, I was like "wow Makoto really is sorta like how I would awaken maybe" because like... I want to fight against injustice and hatred in society, but I'm scared because of the law- and, like Makoto, in p5, I could snap past that. Fuck the law, I want to stop people from being HURT by society's ineptitude. Haha...

Also, a reason for the involvement in the first place- Kaneshiro's reach is... far. Its very possible that people in Kosei were affected- and, in fact, judging by Yusuke being able to gather information, they were. So... Say that one of Ribbon's friends were being used... selling her body, perhaps... Hmmm...

Yes, both Makoto and my p5 SI- can I call her just Ribbon for now?- are third year students at their school. Yes, for Ribbon's backstory, I think I want her to be a Kosei student! Maybe there because of an art scholarship- writing??- or maybe a financial education scholarship, or maybe just that whoever her guardians are, biological or not, they sent her to that school with the money they had. But... Third year. I am 19 irl- and she would be 18 during the majority of the story, turning 19 in that february because surprise I'm a February baby.

Oh, yes, and her costume! She's a magical girl. Supposed to be based off of one- I gave her ribbons and feathers and a poofy dress and high boots with thick soles and gloves... Also, her mask is simple, but... I had the base form of a butterfly, and added on some mask details and also feathers. The ribbons on the lower part of her dress are more noticeable, though. Hence, her name of Ribbon. Unless y'all can think of any better...

As for WHY magical girls? Well, she thought magical girls were cool! Yes, this reflects on me! Ribbon watched magical girl shows ever since she was a young child, and always got this idea of fighting off evil by using bright magic! And punches. And kicks. When Ribbon grew older, while she never grew out of it, she tried to keep it to the back of her mind. She always still kept an eye on one of the magical girl shows- hmm... Beauty Cure? Beaucure? (Yes. Based on Precure.) And it was pulled back to the front with her awakening, because that's always the type of stuff she liked believing in- a magical force of good fighting against forces of evil... OUTSIDE OF THE NORMAL FIGHT AGAINST EVIL SOCIETY TRIES TO DO... Yeah. Mhm. Doesn't that seem familiar.

Oh, yes, I'm going to call the SI by the name of Ribbon- still unsure of if I should use Pix or if I should make up a japanese name that fits a bit closer to my real one, haha.

Her role of the team is... Well, sorta like a magical girl? She has light attacks, which does include the instant kill ones later (points @ magical girls and the series having magical attacks be the magical girl's finishing move), but she also can serve another role... Providing Buffs and giving Debuffs. I mean, magical girl power ups over the season is like a buff... And their attacks debuff the enemy... I would be tempted to also give her some healing things... Maybe later. After all, there are buff moves that are like "gain all three buffs at once!" And she'll get those! So maybe she can also be the status healer...? Dunno. Haven't really watched battle gameplay of p5- even if it's fancy, its... Boring to watch. Oops. Battle dynamics...

As for who her Persona is... I haven't thought of it. I haven't even looked into it either. I was thinking... Her first Persona would be probably an ancient magical girl? Pfft. Funny to say it like that. Maybe a fictional magical girl who was definitely outside the bounds of rules. Maybe villain, maybe hero. Her second persona would... be a goddess. Not the goddess of Magic, since. (stares at Ann.) But. A goddess of something important. Light? Hmm.

Her weapon is... A staff. Kinda a stick, but also it IS something to hurt with. Swing it around, smack someone in the side or head... Use it to adjust your position... Twirling it around... A magical girl doesn't use conventional weapons.

Oh, yeah! Here's where I closed out of the tab by accident. I went to go look at something and my phone pulled a trick on me... Anyway, moving on...

Futaba Sakura is 4'11. Ribbon is 5'. Short squad! Ribbon is irritated about getting teased for it, but is indeed 18- during the story, anyway- and just... Hasn't. Grown. Makoto is 5 inches taller. Interesting.

Ribbon's (outside of battle) role is... well, data gathering, and plan pulling. Makoto thinks of the plans, and can, indeed, push them out to the team... But for group planning sessions, Ribbon is the one listening to everyone's suggestions, and then addressing them... and giving them to the leader to mull over, as well. Make sure everyone is heard.

Oh, idea there... Ribbon also, like me, used to be a theater kid! It helped her grow more used to people around her, more used to speaking, and also technical details on things. Even if she isn't all outgoing, she still shows influences of it with analogies she makes sometimes.

(Spoilers for P5... Brief Warning. Skip to next parantheses for past that spoiler gone.)

During the Phantom Thieves' plans to decieve Akechi into believing he is totally fooling them, Ribbon could easily be very important with that acting experience. While coming up with the plan, Ribbon will definitely state theater terms, backstage, actors, scene changes... And she will definitely help the others get more into character. Staring at you, Ann... For a more believable lie... pull forth a truth similar to this situation and keep that tucked next to your heart... say your lines... and then, when that's over, let it go.

(Spoilers over! Yayyy)

So. Have you guessed who i want to f/o yet? If the answer is yes, congrats, you ain't blind to subtext!

Ribbon's costume is definitely on the lighter side! And... Yes, its definitely pink based. Solid pink ribbons... Light, soft pink dress... A mainly pink mask... I do think the feathers are another color, with those little x marker things that most of the feathers belonging to sharing a similar color, though maybe a different shade. I am... Not good with costume design, though. The accents on her mask would be similar colors to it...

Her hair is black. Darker than Makoto's, yes. She is light skinned, with barely a tan forming on her. Her mask actually covers up her obvious freckles on her face! Her arms, however, still have their freckles showing. (Not in the picture, because i forget about my arm freckles a lot...) (Also not in the picture is the frills on her dress but shhhh)

As for her Confidant? Uh... Hmm... To get to know her... Oh! She can show you her art and writing, sort of brush off her achievements with it because haha not as good as Yusuke Kitagawa's more official art... And her confidant would be helping her tap more into her confident side, whether it be for her own personal projects, or even for her just in society in general! While not as bad as Futaba, she still doesn't like approaching other people... And when that happens, and maybe culminates in her verbally cussing at someone who's been pressing her down for a while now and getting them to lay off her thanks to that newfound confidence. Not a Mementos Target, though she does bring that up but brushes it off as 'just a petty bully thing', but something she deals with herself!

.... Oh, Arcana... Uh. I think... you know how the Jester arcana was like... Another version of the Fool? Wait, the Thoth deck doesn't have an alt Priestess...? Fuck. Uh. Congrats, Akira! You get SUPER DUPER PRIESTESS BONUS. ... Please help

For her Confidant Ability.... Probably something to do with her Magical Girl influnces? The first idea I thought of was like... being able to be a temporary "safe" zone- while in the palace, she could... extend her magical girl light out and create a Barrier that prevents the shadows from noticing her. It will always stay a temporary ability, of course, since otherwise would pribably negate difficulty? But the period would become longer as her confidant goes up. The period of time would be extremly cut down during the times of actually stealing a treasure- after all, the palace ruler is EXPECTING the phantom thieves. No amount of magical girl protecting light would hide that expectation... Or. Something like that.

Also, her last skill. Instead of being like... Making the ability of protecting/anti detecting light last practically forever, its a SUPER STRONG BATTLE ABILITY. What is it? Well... uh... Still have to decide. My current idea has to do with a magical girl blast. Like, activate her light ability right as you get into a battle, and that actually does something- fires a big blast as the battle starts and inflicts damage on the enemy... Hmm. That, or she gets a special version of the all out attack that always kills? Has to be her leading the all out attack, though. What do y'all think...?

Oh, speaking of all out attacks! Hers (or her normal one if I go with the second idea in the above paragraph) would have her landing, spinning around, and doing a sharp "v" pose with her fingers, standing tall and with a grin. Think... Uh... Sailor Moon? I looked up some images and a few I found, with the peace sign arm outstretched, fit that mental image. The other hand would be on her hip, and, of course, she would be winking. Ah, girl vibes.

Yes. I am aware that could be similar to Ann. When i thought of it, i was like "hmmm" but then was like "I do that! and also there's a different between a lean and a wink with the peace sign to your chin rather than a stand/slight slouch and a wink and a peace sign held upward rather than close to the body"

Also, her little line in the background would be "light has prevailed!" In like... Bubbly letters? And it looks like light is shining from behind the letters.

Sure, Ribbon would have a romance route with Akira... but I don't consider that canon. It would make sense that he could POSSIBLY fit my type? But. Nah. Not SUPER attached. Pal at most. Speaking from outside here... In game, with the friendship forming? Maybe so. Anyway, not canon.

Oh my god i just realized Queen and Ribbon have like... Opposite sorta aesthetics. Dark Biker to Light Mage.

Anything else I can think of... Oh, a spoilerly thing.

(I don't believe I can think of anything else to say, so for those who want to be unspoiled on certain things in p5, end of post is the next paranthesis. For others...)

For her reaction to the announcement of Akira's "suicide", it would be something like... Well... A hand to her mouth, and a furrow to her brow... but she doesn't sound like she is going to cry. Instead, she goes, "Ah...", like... Realizing. Like a "hmmm" tone instead of one trying to hold back tears. And then like... Ryuji's scene is after that. And those of you who have seen the scene know what the scene is. So like, if the player was confused by Ribbon, Ryuji smacks them with a direct confirmation.

(And... That's it! Sorry for the long post, I am both unsure of if the read more code trick works on mobile anymore and also am unsure of, if it does work, which version of the trick is the correct one. Because i remember two different versions. Fuck.)

[artificialqueens]

Missing You (Pharon) - Sammy Indigo

A/N: No idea where this came from. But I hope someone enjoys it. Xx

Missing You - Part 1

For all that the world loved to believe that Phi Phi hated Sharon Needles, loved to conspire and dwell on stories of loathing and drama, loved to invent and fabricate scenes of spiteful fighting in the back of filthy clubs, the fact of the matter was, it just wasn’t true.

At one point, a long time ago, maybe, there had been some tension. That was true. The whole ‘show-girl vs party city’ thing had been real. Well, as real as reality TV could be. But they were long past that. Long past that, now. Phi Phi and Sharon were friends.

Friends.

Sort of. Kinda friends. Kinda more than friends. Kinda less than friends.

Used to be something.

Before Phi Phi had fucked it up.

It was whole confusing thing that Phi Phi chose not to dwell on for too long, lest she fall into a deep contemplation and existential crisis that only copious amounts of Skyy could even begin to manage. So Phi Phi focused on her work, did a fucking amazing job of 365 days of drag, and was fucking proud of herself, thank you very much, All Stars be damned. She did good. She did great, and she wasn’t ashamed of that.

But, as was the curse of Phi Phi O’Hara, it never seemed to be enough.

“Why do people hate me?” She asked Katya quietly one night, the two of them sitting side by side in the dressing room of a club somewhere in Atlanta.

“Because you’re a cunt.” Katya said without hesitation, grinned with glowing teeth.

Phi Phi frowned. “I’m nice.” She said. “I try to be nice.”

Katya patted her elbow, and when Phi Phi caught sight of her expression in the mirror, she looked away quickly. When Katya was socially aware enough to pity you, you knew you were a charity case.

“You are nice.” Katya said. She smiled without showing her teeth. “It’s just, sometimes people struggle to see the, er, real you.”

Phi Phi looked back at the blonde queen in the mirror. “The ‘real’ me?”

Katya shrugged, smudging out smokey eyes with what Phi Phi was sure was actually a lip pencil. “Yeah.” She said. “Mama, you just spent a year dressing as other people. You can forgive the general population for struggling to connect with your personality.”

“But it’s not just the fans.” She said, nibbling on her thumb. “Our friends. The people I work with. I just feel like,” she sighed, “like they would rather I wasn’t around, I guess.”

Katya stopped what she was doing. The door to the room swung open and a group of queens bustled in, the smell of nicotine and weed permeating the space, as laugher cut through the once quiet room. Phi Phi felt Katya lean closer to her, hand resting on her shoulder.

“You need someone to talk to?” She asked. “Phi? I can listen. I’ll always listen.” Hearing Katya be sincere was unnerving.

Phi Phi shrugged her off. “I’m fine. I’m just being stupid.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.” Phi Phi looked behind her at the other queens. Jujubee was attempting to jump onto Raja’s back, while Sharon and Willam egged her on, arms wrapped around each other in their hysteria. Phi Phi sighed and looked away, quickly. “Maybe I just need a hug.”

“You asked for it.” Katya grabbed her around the shoulders in a hug that was more painfully crushing than comforting, although she appreciated it nonetheless. “Don’t touch me.” She feigned seriousness, then burst into flailing hysteria. She coughed, and calmed herself down enough to speak, again. “Seriously,” Katya said quietly, letting go, “even if it isn’t me, don’t be afraid to talk to someone.” She grinned, pearly whites glowing once more. “Or, to ask for a hug!”

“Thanks.” Phi Phi said. “I’ll remember that.”

………………

Being on tour with a bunch of other queens was a novel experience no matter how many times Phi Phi found herself in the situation. Buses and clubs, hotel room sharing and Ubers, the proximity to people she considered ‘friends’, was always uncomfortably close and invasive. It was almost impossible to find yourself on your own.

And yet,

God,

And yet, Phi Phi had never felt so lonely.

And wasn’t that the most disgustingly cliche thought? Even having the notion poke at the entrance to her consciousness made Phi Phi physically cringe and curl into herself in her position on the little bunk bed on the bus. She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them close to her body. Katya had left the tour early to work on projects with Trixie, but Phi Phi found her mind drifting to their brief heart-to-heart a week ago.

Phi Phi could really fucking do with a hug right now.

The curtain on her bunk was pulled shut, the rest of the queens either in their own bunks or up at the back of the bus in the little living area. The solitude was comforting enough that Phi Phi felt her self consciousness dampen just that little bit, to allow her some guilty comfort. She pressed her back to the wall of the bunk.

Fingers curled over and began stroking the bridge of her nose, as Phi Phi slipped her thumb into her mouth, sucking gently. Her eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, breathing snuffling slightly as she rested her cheek on her knee. It wasn’t quite the same as having her pacifier. Not nearly as lovely as being curled up on her Mommy’s lap. But it was something. Something Phi Phi had been avoiding for a while now.

Sharon had never judged her, had seemed to enjoy it just was much as Phi Phi, but she didn’t have Sharon’s confidence. All it had taken was once snide comment from a season two queen about Phi Phi being Sharon’s ‘pet’ when they had been caught cuddling on a couch in the back of a club in Florida, and Phi Phi had been done. No one had cared, Sharon had assured her. No one had seen anything more than Phi Phi even sitting on Sharon’s lap, fairly innocently, but she had felt humiliated. Frightened. And that had been enough.

She had been avoiding Sharon ever since. Over eight months ago, now, and fuck, Phi Phi missed her. She missed her so much.

Tears dripped down her cheeks, soaking into the knees of her grey sweats.

Phi Phi just wanted a hug.

She wanted her Mommy.

Phi Phi’s phone buzzed and lit up with a pointless notification from a shopping app she hadn’t used in over a year, and had been meaning to take off her notification list for just as long. The notification didn’t matter, but the reminder that the phone existed, was enough to have Phi Phi, in her delicate state, fumbling to message the person she hadn’t had full conversation with in over eight months, and who couldn’t have been more than twenty feet away.

Typing with one hand, thumb still in her mouth, was not as challenging as she had been expecting, and without allowing herself to overthink, Phi Phi sent the message.

P: I’m sorry.

Her cheeks itched with the dampness, and she wiped them on her knees, pointlessly, as more tears spilled over her lashes.

Three dots appeared on her phone screen almost immediately.

S: are you ok xx

She sniffled and bit hard on her thumb, the pain an all to familiar reminder why Sharon had first converted her to pacifiers. Phi Phi eyed the little travel bag at the end of her bed, but didn’t move.

P: I miss you xxx

Three dots, and,

S: are you ok. baby? xxxx

P: Mommy. I need a hug xxxxx

This time, there were no dots, but footsteps. The curtain to Phi Phi’s bunk opened a tiny bit, and she nearly began sobbing with relief when Sharon’s head poked though.

“Baby…?”

Phi Phi couldn’t help it. Eight months of denying herself this, had her slipping faster than she ever had before, and it was all she could do to bite her thumb and make a grabby hand at Mommy with the other hand. When Sharon climbed into bed next to her, Phi Phi did begin to sob.

“Oh, baby, sweetheart.” Sharon pulled her into her lap, allowing Phi Phi to curl up and cry into her neck.

It was all too much. All too perfect, and frightening, and safe, and horrible, and-

“Shhhh, you’re okay, you’re alright, baby.” Sharon combed her fingers through her hair, and kissed her head. “I’ve got you. It’s been so long.”

“M’sorry.” She stuttered around her thumb. Snot and tears were mingling on her chin and in her mouth around her thumb, making it hard to speak. “Mommy, m’sorry.”

Mommy hugged her tighter. “None of that.” She said, wiping her face on her own shirt. “All better, now. Mommy’s here.”

Little voices in the back of Phi Phi’s head were whispering that ‘this is wrong’, ‘this is disgusting’, ‘you’re a disgrace’, but then Mommy slipped her hand under Phi Phi’s shirt to tickle her back, and she couldn’t hear them anymore. She pressed her nose into Mommy’s neck and gripped her shirt with a tight fist.

“Don’t go.”

“Never.” Mommy said. “Promise. Never again.”

Mommy pulled on the hand in Phi Phi’s mouth. She let it go, content to snuggle into her Mommy’s chest without having any digits inside of her mouth. Mommy tutted, and Phi Phi fluttered open her eyes.

“None of this.” She said quietly, rubbing her fingers over the nasty purple indentation on Phi Phi’s thumb from her teeth. “No hurting yourself.”

Phi Phi hid her face as she felt it heat up with embarrassment. “Didn’t mean to.”

“I know.” Mommy said. She kissed Phi Phi’s lips. Kissed them again. “But my baby needs to be kind to herself. My baby deserves kindness.”

Mommy grabbed the bag from the bottom of the bed with her foot and dropped it onto Phi Phi’s lap.

“Now,” Mommy said, gently, “am I going to find what I’m looking for in here?”

Phi Phi giggled for the first time in months.

It was obvious what she was looking for. They’ve always been in the same place in the bag. In the little zipped compartment at the bottom. Even after all those months. Still there. Phi Phi giggled again when Mommy pulled out the purple one, still able to remember which one was her favourite. Mommy slipped the pacifier into her own mouth, gave it two sucks, then pushed it against Phi Phi’s teeth until she opened her mouth.

“All clean for the baby.” Mommy said.

Phi Phi just about melted with relief, then. The feeling of the hard plastic rubbing on her lips with every suck, Mommy’s hands rubbing her back and tummy, Mommy’s lips against her forehead. It was right.

Everything was right.

Mommy tipped them back a little so Phi Phi was reclined in her arms, gazing up at her. She was gorgeous. Easily the most beautiful person Phi Phi had ever seen. The peroxide hair, the plush lips, the altered cheeks. She was gorgeous. She was perfect.

She reached a hand out to touch Mommy’s face and Mommy held her hand there, against her cheek. She moved her head to press a long kiss to Phi Phi’s palm.

“Baby,” She spoke into her hand, “always my baby. Always.”

Phi Phi nodded. The pacifier bobbed in her mouth, and even though all she wanted to do was stare at her gorgeous Mommy, her eyes began to flutter, and to force them open became a monumental task. Mommy leaned down to kiss her nose.

“Bedtime, baby.” She whispered.

Somewhere in the back of the bus, a queen screeched and the rest of the queens erupted in laughter. Phi Phi jumped at the noise, but Mommy stroked the bridge of her nose, and patted her bottom, and then nothing else mattered. Everything was better.

“Bedtime, baby.” Mommy said again, and wiped a tiny stream of drool from under the pacifier with her thumb.

Phi Phi’s eyes closed, lips pressed to her cheek, and by the time Sharon whispered, “Bedtime, baby,” for the third time, the baby was fast asleep, and only in her sweet dreams did she hear it.