#am i really so unlikable. 5 years of me being nice to him and us being close friends and this is what i mean to him?

[visualbutterflysworld]

Cover Stealer | Vhackerr

You and Vinnie in bed after a fight

“Stop pulling the cover!” I yank some of the cover back. “I’m cold!” Vinnie said, yanking it back. “You walk around half naked everyday! How are you suddenly cold now!?” I scrunch my face up. “Because I am!”

Vinnie and I got in a fight a few hours ago. I don’t usually like fighting and I wouldn’t have been so upset if it wasn’t really important to me. We were supposed to have dinner together at this really nice place and had reservations but, Vincent being Vincent lost track of time over his stupid game. So by the time we made it they had given our table away.

I wouldn’t have mind but, with him being signed to IMG Models and me having to travel a lot for my job, we barely had time to spend together. If I was some famous person than I could be with him anytime I’d want. No, see, I actually have a 9 to 5 and don’t have enough times on my hands unlike some people. I may or may not have brought that up.

“Y/n, I said I was sorry.” Vinnie sighed as we walked into my apartment. “Yeah, whatever.” I grumbled as I walk upstairs. “Y/n, what’s the big deal? We’ll have another date night.” Vinnie stood at the end of the stairs and I turned midway on the staircase. “And when do you think that’ll be Vincent!? Two months from now!? I’m so sorry but, some of us don’t make our schedule! Some of us actually have to work!” I yelled as I folded my arms.

He glared at me. “You think I don’t work?! I work every damn day Y/n!” He yelled back at me. “Oh please Vincent, your job is being sexy and a photo for fourteen year olds to masturbate to.” I rolled my eyes and continuing walking up the stairs. “At least I’m doing my dream!” Vinnie yelled. “I’ve achieved my dream and got financial stability, you asshole!”

As you can see, we haven’t talked since. The whole dream thing was about me wanting to model and act but, when I decided in college that I wanted to be financially happy and actually have a job I could depend on unlike acting and modeling. Because once you hit a certain age roles and jobs dry up for whatever reason. Plus, who the fuck wants to deal with paparazzi!? Those assholes killed Princess Diana and made Britney Spears’ life a living hell.

Yeah, so I choose my other dream route. Marketing consultant. Sometimes I travel a lot to other firms to study and bring clients to my firm company. While Vinnie gets to sit at home and play video games and look sexy. I get out of my thoughts by feeling another tug. “Can your sexy ass stop pulling the cover!” I speak and instantly regret my words.

I feel the bed move and a head on my forearm. “Did you just call me sexy?” He asked. “No.” I try to hide my smile. “Liar. You know, you said something about fourteen year olds masturbating to me but, I’ve caught you masturbating to photos of me.” His fingers ling on my side before I quickly flip on my back. Letting out a gasp. “You have not!” I said and Vinnie shrugs. “I have too. Hell, I’ve caught you with your secret vibrator pretending it was me.” Vinnie laughs at me as I stare at him with wide eyes.

“I thought I was being sneaky with it.” I mutter as I pout. “Yeah, but you’re very vocal.” Vinnie pinched my side. “Whatever.” I cross my arms and look away. “I am sorry about missing the dinner.” He said before kissing my neck and nuzzling into it. “Yeah, I know.” I sigh as I rub the bridge of my nose. “Sometimes I’m afraid with us being apart so much, you may find someone else. Someone better.” Vinnie quickly shoots up. “That is the most stupidest thing I ever heard you say.” I scowl at him before he continues.

“To ever think that I would leave you because of distance is an insult. I wouldn’t leave you if you had to go to China for three months!” I laugh and Vinnie let’s out a smile. He strokes my face softly before placing a kiss on my lips. “Plus, I like when you’re away and come back to me.” He mutters as he rest his forehead against me. “Why?” I scrunch up my nose. “Because it gives me more pleasure knowing i can fuck you for as long as I want to make up time.”

I smack my lips before responding, “I seriously think you’re a sex addict. You probably have a Fleshlight somewhere.” Vinnie smirks. “Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t. That is one thing you’ll never know.” I roll my eyes. “Okay, Dr. Seuss.”

[hanafubukki]

Malleus Draconia’s Flower Bouquet Meaning

Twst Bdays Flower Language Masterlist

I have been waiting and waiting for the release of Malleus’ 3rd Bday card with such anticipation. I literally waited every day until the time Twst JP usually updates with news for some semblance of Malleus Bday card news.

AND NOW MY BOY IS HERE AND HE LOOKS SO FINE PLEASE. His smirk with the fangs sends me. His wink is so cute! Lilia is raising these boys right! Look at HIM.

January is the moth of Diasomnia and I love it, we have Malleus, Lilia, Silver and Sebek card releases. (Diasomnia Stans I hope your gems survive). 

As I did with Lilia’s Bouquet Post , I will be writing more than I usually do. Malleus Draconia is one of my favorite twst characters and he deserves it and all the effort (in this love essay, I will). In addition, I will be adding possible theories along the way and will be mentioning book 7 too and other cards that have been released, so heed spoilers for book 7 and cards that might have not released yet.

At first glance, Malleus’ Bouquet reminded me of Trey’s Bouquet . In the sense that it reminded me of a salad, and I couldn’t help but laugh a bit because of it. When you think about some of the meanings previously discussed in Trey’s Bouquet, it applies to Malleus as well when you think about it: past, present, and future. But I’m getting ahead of myself, we will discuss that later.

It’s really nice seeing Malleus so happy especially without any worries right now (basically flirting with us lolol). After book 7 chapter 1, I am happy he is full of energy and amusement. 

I do wish that his bouquet had more colors to make it pop more, but like Lilia’s, Malleus’ bouquet does fit him rather well. It can give you a glimpse of his past and current mindset, and also a hint to the future of what may come. (please, my heart.) 

Some observations from just from a glance, Malleus’ bouquet may not pop as much color wise, but you know what it does really well? It blends into the environment rather seamlessly.  Unlike Trey, who doesn't like to stand out and would rather blend in, which shows in his flowers. For malleus, it is not by choice. He blends in seamlessly because he is forgotten by those around him. When he is not forgotten, people are scared of him and tend to run away. The only ones to truly notice him missing are Lilia, Sebek, Silver, and MC.

We know that Malleus hates being forgotten and left out and this bouquet shows that while he blends in to the environment, it is not by choice and some of the flower meanings show his feelings towards being forgotten and ostracized. (I’ll never forget you Malleus 💕💕). 

Greem flowers tend to be rare and on further research, they also tend to be mutations in some variations of flowers. This fits Malleus because we can all say that he is a highly respected figure, not only is he a future king in the Valley of Thorns, but he is one of the top ten strongest mages in the world. If we went further, Malleus is a type of dragon fae, and royalty, maybe he might or might not be the last of his kind? Only time will tell, as we know the only relative he has right now is his grandmother. I

In terms of magic power, malleus is extremely strong and we can see how the story swings and the narrative changes when he deigns to step in and help. Book 5, Malleus fixed the stage hence allowing for VDC to continue, and in book 6, he helped Vil by making him young again. We have seen in masquerade the magic potential he has and how that affects the environment as well, and in book 7 a well. Malleus is unique and rare, and that could also show why he is so revered heavily by everyone else when all he wants is to be invited and share experiences with others.

I love how Malleus is also winking in this card, as he is in other cards. You certainly get the Diasomnia closeness as because sebek was also winking in his cards. We also have the smile that Lilia and Silver all share too, which I think is cute! I might be wrong but I think all the third years so far have been winking?

Now, let’s talk about some rather interesting...moves that twst played with the release of this Malleus card. First of all, with the release of the Malleus Bday card, We also received the Silver Dorm SSR card. This is interesting because this is the first time they released a Dorm SSR card without a story update. What’s more, its rather interesting they chose to release it with the Malleus card which makes me wonder how purposely did they do this? Was this as a way to show the connection Silver and Malleus has? 

As in a sense, Malleus can be paralleled to Maleficent and Silver could be Aurora (and the Sword, Shield, and Prince Philip technically) from what we see on the surface level. It's as if they are telling us these two are more connected than we realize and maybe they are a mirror too (or like that one promo where you see Maleficent on one side and the princess on another as two opposite spectrums).

Considering the opposite styles that Malleus and Silver were raise (by Lilia no less), it hurts to see how much this is stressed. You can tell familial love will play a big role in book7 from this alone. It also makes it seem like they are pushing Malleus to play this evil role that he clearly doesn't want to be in when all he wants is to belong and be invited.

Another interesting point I want to bring up is that, Silver is the only one without the title that basically says “___ Protector of the Valley of Thorns” Instead, He is the sleeping guardian. So, we have this disconnect between the four and shows how much of the role Silver might play when it comes to the other three diasomnia residents.  This Post shows the English titles  and this post is a jp comment about it as well I believe .

It alludes more and more to the fact that Silver has a connection to ‘dreams’ and that could also be a hint on how Malleus and everyone could be saved given that Malleus is the King of the Abyss as well. Maybe, Silver’s UM is connected to dreams as everyone speculate, but I digress. We know at the end of the day, these two have a connection and only time will tell what kind of connection and what it will put everyone through (and how it will eventually wreck us too, get your tissue boxes ready everyone. Book 7 chapter 1 already came for us without reprieve.)

Another fact that I find funny is that Malleus’ Duo is Ace. So, I can’t wait to see how Ace and Malleus interact given that Ace....doesn’t care for manners when it comes to people in power and will basically say what's on his mind. Which, we can see from Endless Halloween. I also personally find it funny because many people tend to ship MC with Ace and Malleus and these two always end up in a triangle and I can’t wait to see what happens after the interview lol Ace also doesn’t have his UM so maybe its a hint of Ace’s role in Book 7 (he could be hiding it as well, since we know how much of a trickster he is).

Malleus’ card spells are similar to those of Idia’s Bday ones apparently. Which is funny and interesting given that Idia will play a big role in book 7, especially in terms of grief and moving on and recovering from the loss of a loved one.

I can’t wait to see Malleus’ groovy. I hope its either in dawn or dusk because that would not only be beautiful but give a wonderful symbolism as well. 

Malleus holding the bouquet so effortlessly also shows his strength, I mean look at him, no struggle at all.

You know what makes me so soft about Malleus’ bouquet? It’s that he has signs of those he loves in his bouquet. He has flowers that symbolizes Lilia, Sebek, Silver, and even MC/Yuu.

Now, lets talk about Flowers 🌺💚🌺💚

[As usual, my disclaimer from before stands, flowers have many different meanings depending on region and color, so the meanings I have might differ from the meanings you know.]

In addition, I know there were some feelings of sadness going around with Malleus’ bouquet because most of the associated flower language were negative, but remember every flower has more than one meaning and together, the flower language can change as a whole depending on the bouquet. It also depends on the meaning we choose to empathize over the others. 

His flowers are kind of hard to tell, so I put whichever ones I thought they might be. Get your hearts ready and anything you have that has Malleus’ face because you are going to want to hug him. (total opposite from how I wanted to yeet Lilia during his post lol) 

Flower Colors (general meaning): 

Green Flowers: Health, resilience, good fortune, and youth. We know Malleus is young in terms of Fae age and we know he also has to learn and mature more when in comes to certain instances over the others. Some examples we have seen was when things didn’t go his way and you can see the weather being affected, but also we have to consider that he never really got to act his age has he? Health and good fortune for his future.

White Flowers:  True love, purity, innocence, sympathy.  We know True Love Kiss plays a role in Sleeping Beauty and I can’t wait to see how it plays a role for book 7. In a way, Malleus is innocent in his experience with anything related to modern times, and his situation does make you feel for him. (Malleus, we love you 💕).

Red Flowers: Love, passion, pride, vigor, and strength. (rather fitting, wouldn’t you say?) 

Bouquet:

Green Roses: Renewal, rejuvenation of spirit and energy, growth, abundance, balance, stability, peace, good news and new beginnings. Possibly the future healing that Malleus will go through? (you know, after his mental breakdown...I know know, I’ll be quiet now) [To my knowledge, green roses do not mean jealously. It’s the yellow roses.] I was hoping they would give him red roses to symbolize his rose garden back home too. 

Carnation: Fascination, distinction, and love. In Greek, it is known as God’s Flower.  As some tend to worship Malleus like a God, it's rather fitting for him to have this flower. (Sebek and some diasomnia students come to mind).

Curcuma/Hidden Lilies: Love, Rebirth, Devotion, Purity, Fertility, clear and sincere intentions. When I first saw these, my mind literally went Lilies = Lilia and with several of the meanings it makes you wonder doesn’t it? Especially as Rebirth seems to be a themes in Malleus and Lilia’s bouquet. (Sleeping curse maybe?) These also look like the flowers you see in the Live Action Sleeping Beauty 2 Movie, during the wedding. You know when Maleficent walks Aurora down the Aisle. So it could also be stressing the relationship Malleus has with Silver. Technically, all three of them. Can be used to treated stomach problems and this makes me laugh because Lilia had stomach problems in that one Firelit Sky event, hence another factor in representing Lilia.

Green Lisanthus: Appreciation, charm, charisma, and confidence. (Malleus in a flower basically 💕)

Cala Lily (Burgundy): Life’s right of passage, purity, holiness, faithfulness, courage and determination. (Silver and Sebek determination to protecting their Lord.) 

Dracaena Fragans: meaning Dragon, financial and career success (he will make wonderful king), peace and good fortune.

Amaryllis: to sparkle, pride, strength, determination. These flowers blooms every year despite looking frail and it doesn’t take much to have them grow year after year. An interesting story is about a maiden who fell in love with a cold hearted man. She pierced her heart with a gold arrow and visited his cottage. After 30 days, her droplets of blood became beautiful flowers and the man fell in love with her and she was healed. Another type of Amaryllis is the cluster ones, we know it as the spider lilies. Common ones are the red spider lilies which is basically a red flag because it usually means death and last goodbye. This could symbolize the long life Malleus has ahead of him as well. White Amaryllis means beauty, devotion, and love. In addition, White Amaryllis symbolizes children and the innocence that comes from them. It reminds me of the story that Malleus told MC about how he just wanted to belong and had a tantrum that led to the castle becoming frozen in ice. Lilia was the only one who stepped forward and helped him and it implies that's how Malleus ended up loving ice cream. (My heeearrrttt) Also, the other story of how Lilia had his hair burned because baby malleus blew fire too lolol.

Houseleeks/Succulent: Always Living, enduring and timeless love, forever, does not change, Will live in harsh environments (My heart damnit, my heart).

Elderberry/Elder: inner strength, courage, calm fears, resilience, joy, protection from evil, prolong life, and peaceful sleep. “Eld” can also mean fire.

Olives: friendship and reconciliation, cleansing and healing, light, victory and richness, and above all, a sign of peace. (I’m not crying, you are!).

Hypericum Berries: symbol of peace, protection, rebirth 

Acai Palm: Nutritious, growth in wilderness.

Thistle: Pain, aggressiveness, pride, and Protection.

Cordylines: Added to flowers to add emphasize to other flowers meanings, good luck, and fortune. Often it is confused with Dracaena. 

Random Fact: Anniversaries could also be considered, since its the 3rd bdays for all the boys, their flower will be Sunflower: strength  be well, happiness, male healing, confidence, self-esteem, assertiveness. Sounds just like them, doesn’t it?

Credit: Thank you to Lala (@/mobagehellocal) for her help as always. Please go talk flowers with her too. We love talking about them. 🌺🌻

[justanotherblogger]

Random Rambles And Theories About Alastor Go!

Ok, so right now I am on a high with all the recent Alastor lore we've been blessed with in Hazbin Hotel, and this little murderer has been occupying my mind 24/7. I really need to get all my theories and rambles out that I don't see a lot of people talking about.

(BTW, before my ramble, I have seen many places say he was mixed race as a human, but if I am wrong, please let me know, because this delves deep into that with his human life.)

(Also be warned for a bit of gore/violence and that this thing is kind of long)

Now let's begin!

I'll start with the most talked about theory with Alastor: his connections with Lilith and why he reacted the way he did with Lucifer

The show has given us what many people think are hints to this with both of them gone for 7 years, the slight eye twitch in the pilot when he looked at liliths portrait, Alastor showing up right after Charlie finished voicmailing her mom also in the pilot, how he knew about Charlie's Daddy Issues before she seemed to have told anyone, the leash comment from Husker, and how Alastor reacted to Lucifer.

Now, all of these could be chalked up to Alastor having some sort of nice relations to Lilith, but some of these are a bit too far stretched to just be because he has interacted nicely with Lilith in my eyes.

I have seen many people talk about how Alastor must have gotten a bad impression of Lucifer because either him and Lilith are besties and talk crap about him after the split, or he listened to her complaints about him and got an impression off of that to dislike him this much right off the bat in episode 5.

But I don't think that's it. We see how badly Alastor reacted to the leash comment by Husker, which definitely isn't a good sign that he would even trust the words of whoever is holding that 'leash' against him. He seemed pushed over the edge, vulnerable enough to lash out, which is unlike himself. Whatever deal he made for his soul, was most likely under threat, a life or death choice.

This is why I think he despises (most likely) Lilith or whoever has that 'leash' on him. He lashes out, sensitive about the subject. After gaining so much power over the overlords, he suddenly gets toppled over again by someone of (most likely) higher status, being forced into an unwilling contract, now just another pawn that this demon(?) can use for their own desires, and he doesn't want to be that, he needs to make his own decisions. But he doesn't have any say in the matter.

So I think why he was mocking and teasing Lucifer so much was because of his connection with Lilith. Everyone knew how deeply in love they were (before they split) and how they are both the most powerful demons in hell. I think Alastor took a chance to use his pent up anger on Lucifer, trying to get him to hurt as much as he can because of what Lilith did, all the while Lucifer cant do anything too serious leat he upset Charlie. We know he is extremely petty, after all. (we can also see him (most likely) letting off some steam when devouring the loan sharks, with him getting unnecessarily big and just letting loose on a couple of low-tier goons)

I saw another person talk about how Alastor has no power over Lucifer/Lilith, no political power, and he can't beat them in games of wits either. But the one thing that he does have the upper hand on, is their daughter, and I completely agree with that.

Alastor has been there since the beginning, has helped Charlie out and talked with her more than her own Parents had in the last couple of years probably. He's seen how attached the parents are to Charlie, and decided to use that info in full force. Just look at the Lucifer/Alastor duet.

Now that we have my theories of the life and death contract with Lilith, let's go deep into what I think is Alastors character right now:

Alastor, a mixed child in the early 1900's most likely had it really rough. With being treated as less than from both sides for being to dark/light to the violence that he most likely had to endure during his childhood.

This could have been where his anger/obsessive resentment started to simmer up in sporadic bursts over the years and years of belittlement, abuse, and racism.

Like I said before, he was probably treated as less than human for his mixed skin, and Alastor most likely started to hate it. His skin, the people, everything seemed so wrong. Why should the people who beat him and his mother see them so vulnerable and weak. He decided he didn't like that anymore.

So the radio show started. I got this idea from when he said his face was only made for radio. Over the radio, no one ever knew what you looked like. Just your voice would be broadcasted, and no one would ever see who was really behind the microphone unless they stepped out. This seemed like a barrier to Alastor. Letting himself go with no worries about letting people see him vulnerable behind his broadcast. (Maybe that's why he hates TV and modern tech so much; people can see everything about you)

And when his radio show became a hit and people wanted pictures and news? What would protect him then? Simple: his unwavering smile. Reactions are what people want when they crush others. They want to see them wallow and beg cry from what they have done. But Alastor won't let anyone do that to him ever again.

He stands his guard, not letting any comments get to him, keeping charming smile and unwavering voice all throughout his career as a radio host. Keep the smile up, dont have your voice crack, never show weakness. If you stop, those that wait will sink their teeth in and never let go of you. That's what I think a part of his mentality is and is maybe a part of why his smile is stitched on in his demonic form.

Now onto why I think he's a serial killer/cannibal. Remember when I said he had lots of unchecked anger and obsessive resentment? All this now simmering even more while being pushed down by his persona?

This is when he'll break loose.

He usually goes for the ones with the least amount of defense: drunkards/ bar frequenters. I though of this when Mimzy said he used to always come to the bar she was performing at and how he could drink like a sailor.

He might've drank with people to let their guard down in addition to his non-threatening charm, and he probably built a tolerance to be at least a bit sober when the others are full out drunk so he can easily transport and kill them.

He probably enjoys killing/eating his victims because a) it shows how he has power now. How he isn't a helpless victim anymore and he's finally in control of his life or b) where he likes seeing privileged people beaten and bruised for once, the gratification of seeing someone taste their own medicine by his own hand, like revenge, even if that person hadn't been necessarily bad towards him.

His death ro me is the same that everyone else thinks, where he's burying some victims body and gets mistaken for a deer, then shot straight between the eyes. What I do think a bit differently is that he was chased by hunting dogs first, which alerted the hunter for him to get shot, which then led to his fear of dogs.

Then he was finally free to do anything. Hell had no limits, he didn't have to hide his carnage anymore. But now that smile he wore was engraved into his face, almost making it impossible to frown. But that didn't matter. Not right now. Alastor has so many emotions bubbling up that he just wanted blood to be on his hands.

And then he slaughtered the overlords and took their souls within weeks ( maybe months, idk how quick he killed them, but ima go with weeks), broadcasting it over the radio to show everyone what he's been up to.

Alastor had kept this routine for a couple of decades, occasionally getting a guest star on his broadcast by those who he seems fit.

But maybe he had become too cocky with this power high, as he had been attacked by holy weaponry right before the extermination he dealth with most of them, but a shot did make it into his shoulder, causing him to collapse in pain, unable to move. (a bit simple, but I imagine him getting badly hurt by angels/angelic weaponry to lethal levels and Lilith decides to save him)

He fought hard when the angels arrived, of course, but he could only go so far in being this injured. So when he was about to get stabbed in the chest by a holy spear, he was already tired and almost accepted his fate, before being pulled somewhere by Lilith herself.

This is where Lilith offers a beat and broken Alastor a one time deal: become her servant or she'll throw him back to the exterminators herself. And in a situation like this, there's usually only one option you can really take.

And so he was a ghost, leaving everything he had behind. His power, his respect, his freedom...

Now Alastor had become a pawn again. A tool useful for the right situations, and just a toy to be played with by Lilith. This is exactly what he didn't want from his human life. The humility, the disregard, treating him as some sort of street animal, no matter what he did.

And now she orders him to guard her daughters hotel, giving him back a piece of his power to protect the hotel.

Alastor had hated Charlie for how she misused her amazing power for something like redemption.

Alastor hated Lucifer, for having all that power, being the strongest demon in hell, yet taking it for granted while mocking him about his choices.

And Alastor hated Lilith, for trapping him again, and renewing his endless cycle of suffering.

So those are my thoughts about Alastor. I think you can tell he's my favorite. I just love his powers and lore.

[mtkay13]

Qin Huaizhang and his pupils! I always love thinking a lot about Siji manor and how it was, how it started, etc. I really wanted to make an illustration reflecting a nostalgia of these times. More Siji manor rambling below >>>

I am going through a crisis regarding my headcanons about it, though. As in, I can't be satisfied by what the book gives us, and clearly I got too invested in the backstory I made up to just accept giving it up based on some random infos sprinkled here and there. Here are the named characters that I assume are all from Siji:

(Duan Pengju isn't there because, for good balance, I thought it would be nice to have him as an agent recruited later on by ZZS.) QHZ is obviously the founder of the manor, right? According to the book (which gives us very little), he's an oddball, and he could have gone about with only two disciples-- or very young ones... But simultaneously, we do get informations in extra 5 about Siji manor's wide reach and activities. It's hard to believe that ZZS was the oldest disciple (as it is suggested in TYK in that one line where he's said to having been a dashixiong.....); he was 15 by the time of QHZ's death, so could QHZ really have operated alone with an army of tiny kids before that? Sorry, Priest, I will have to fight with canon lines here. I like to imagine that QHZ had associates within Siji-- he was the main founder, but he wasn't working alone. Old Bi, who's mentioned in TYK, chapter 1, could have been one of said associates. Lu Yu....... So Lu Yu is from Qi Ye, and up until recently he was my anchor when it came to justifying my idea that no, ZZS and LJX weren't the sole disciples in Siji Manor (since, in TYK, ZZS says it was "just the two of them"-- but it could be metaphorical!! and Lu Yu being there so early on in Qi Ye could be a proof of that!!). Turns out, the infos we get from Extra 5, once again, make me feel like it's unlikely that it was really literally only ZZS and LJX, but-- Anyway; I did picture Lu Yu as being older than ZZS, probably a shixiong, but it's also mentioned in Qi Ye that he his technique was "worthy of ZZS' teaching"...... which makes it harder to justify him being a shixiong. I mean, some mental gymnastics can probably make it work, and after all this is only a remark coming from Jing Qi's narration, BUT. Bichen suggested he could have been trained later on by ZZS as more people left Siji in disagreement with ZZS' own politics... so why not? I like to think that ZZS was QHZ's only disciple-- the others, shixiongs and shidis, were disciples of QHZ's associates rather than his own direct disciples. Maybe he didn't want any, until he met with ZZS and figured that the kid was worthy enough of being his disciple. LJX would have been taken in by QHZ as an additional trial or training method for ZZS-- because teaching is the best way of putting your own knowledge to the test. ALL OF THIS TO SAY, i do imagine that ZZS and LJX had a peculiar relationship with QHZ that other disciples didn't have, and that it was just the two of them from the moment ZZS was chosen by QHZ to become the next leader. Bi-shu... could have been reluctant at first, then decided to believe in ZZS until years later when he figured he couldn't do TC anymore and it was time for him to go? Anyway--- I could go on for hours bc clearly I have nothing better to do w my life than to muse about some random background storylines LOL

Thanks for reading!

[sweetmariihs2]

Look at what arrived today 🫶🫶 (there's still more on the way but they didn't arrived yet)

Unfortunately there's only one page where Cedric is in, in the Wassailia magazine. Today I discovered that each magazine revolves specifically around that theme, so in a Wassailia themed magazine there will only be Wassailia themed activities. I don't know why I thought that there would be activities unrelated to the main theme. All of the Wassailia magazine pages are related to Wassailia, the same way that in the costume party magazine the activities all talk about this topic. I guess it makes sense.

In my country there's only 5 available magazines to buy. Two come together (these ones), other two also come together, and there's one that I'm almost DYING to put my hands on that it's the Cedric's apprentice magazine and it's available to buy separately.

Also we got an extra content about what happened to Cedric in the first Wassailia episode! He probably spent his whole holiday in his workshop. Sofia came to visit him and she gave him a snow globe as a gift and he loved it💗

That's the only image of him that we have. I don't know if I should share the whole magazines because I'm afraid of being accused of piracy😭😭😭

But I don't know, the magazines are from 2016 and it's a hell to find their content. I literally had to buy them to see what's inside! And you can say "well if the fans want to see what's inside then yes they should buy it," but it's really difficult to find, and I know that there are people out there who really wanted to own them but they can't since it's not even selling anywhere anymore. I don't know about your contry but in mine there were just 5 available and I bought all of em, and that's because I searched for hours. While I do have some of them and I can share, which is something that I saw some other magazine owners refusing to do.

And I really don't blame them, since some posts that I found were indeed from 2010's and at that time those magazines were still being produced. They wanted to support the artists involved and that is honestly a very noble thing to do! That's why I'm torn too, because I'm an artist myself and it would be nice to have my work properly sold and not just shared everywhere with absolutely no remuneration.

But yeah, after years since those posts were published, now I'm in the STF fandom and searching for all possible Cedric content and merch I can find on the internet and it's being such a torture to search for these magazines since they're not produced, commercialized or even remembered anymore. Some of the images I have are so poorly photographed and framed, poor lighting, bad quality camera, and I can't even know the context behind the illustrations because most of the time there is no information or even the complete image! Which makes me a little mad because if at the time the magazines were being produced, if fans had saved images or shared the magazines, we wouldn't have had so much trouble finding them today. It is obvious that after years on the market, products are being destroyed and becoming more scarce. The main audience for these magazines are children and the magazine encourage children to cut, paint and doodle, so many copies of these magazines simply ended up in the trash or are completely torn up. It's the correct way to use them after all.

It's almost lost media, but luckily there is still someone somewhere in the world who has them in their entirety after more or less 10 years since they were published. Many of the collectors from 2016 today may not even have their collections anymore, as was the case with a blog that unfortunately lost its collection in a flood and which had some of the magazines. I am literally so amazed by the fact that I have discontinued and untouched products in my hands, and in my language, which is even more unlikely to happen. There's only three left to arrive!

I think I should share these images while I can, as later there may not be any more copies available to buy or even view. If fans are no longer going to be able to buy it because of its rarity, then I at least think they should see what's inside. And the rarity it's not even because they're coveted products, it's just that they're forgotten! People care so little about them that it's starting to disappear and no one will care enough to sell or share it, as is already happening now. After all, it's just a silly Sofia The First activity magazine, but it's very important for us fans, at least the few who know about its existence. And all the copies available for viewing or sale don't even pay the artists anymore, as it's been around for many years and these products are surrounded by resellers. There is no longer any way to buy from the artists hoping that they will get a return, because they won't, the 2010s are over and so are the magazine publications.

I'm really thinking about sharing them, but I'm afraid of being misinterpreted or accused of disrespecting those artist's work. Disney it's literally not producing and selling them anymore at all, and they're really hard to find to buy, so I guess that sharing while I can is a viable option, and it's an act of kindness for other fans, who won't go crazy wondering what's inside knowing that no one has ever shared it and they won't ever do. I really wish 2016 fans had shared it at that time because today we would have images of copies that are no longer available for purchase. Real rare stuff!

So yeah, please tell me your opinions about this... I'm really afraid of doing something I shouldn't and disrespecting those artists in the process. But at the same time, well... they're not involved in this anymore. So I don't know.

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 19

Hi friends!

Thanks for being patient with me -- I had one hell of a day yesterday and didn't get the Digest out when I usually do. It's short this week: only 10 fics (still not bad, considering, lmao). I read a 40 chapter fic this week that was about 400k words (rec'd below) and I was hooked (am hooked, I have like 5 chapters left). Apologies to all my moots whose fics I have ignored in favor of having my face buried in AO3 for a week, I'm catching up now!

As always you can find the Spreadsheet here and all of my previous fic recs here. Tag me in your fics if you want to be included in a future Digest :)

Recs below the Pedro in a v nice suit:

you can't trust anyone these days - a Joel/Tess one shot by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

TW Noncon - read the warnings - I really thought this was such an interesting take on Raider!Joel. I don't usually see Tess there with him and I also liked the power dynamics/trust thing going on. The plot twist? That was everything!

All over you - a Javi G drabble by @theywhowriteandknowthings

This is super fucking hot ah!! I love needy men who can't wait to get their hands on you. You're at a fancy party with Javi G and you look so hot he has to drag you into a closet. So good

Take My Hand - a Pero Tovar one shot by @pedrito-friskito

Okay so the prompt ended up being Pero Tovar, “is this real? are…are you real?” for fluff and “take off your clothes before I rip them off your body” for smut. And it's perfect. It's got this touch of angst, but it's so fluffy and sweet and then the smut is so hot. I am in love

John Wayne - a Joel one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

SOOOO fuckin sweet, man. Like it's heartbreaking obvi. You show up in Jackson and Maria is all "this is my husband Tommy" and you're like that's the brother of the love of my life (pre-outbreak). And I won't spoil what happens but I love it so fucking much

Cherub - a Joel series by @cherubispunk

TW Dubcon - read the warnings - Mean old trailer park drug dealer Joel? The mouth on that man... Yeah this is filthy in the best way.

Stay - a Javi P one shot by @millerscoffee

Motherfuckin daddy kink with Javi P???? Hell yes. Yes on every level. This is so fucking hot ugh. The mouth on that man is criminal.

Religious Corruption - a Dave York two shot by @absurdthirst

Just reading the fuckin warnings/content summary on this fic got me screaming. Reader is an innocent virgin beginning her freshman year at a very religious school and she gets a crush on her professor, Dave York. This is not your average loss of innocence fic, not your average Dave York fic, not your average professor fic.... This is unlike pretty much anything else I've ever read and I loved it. It's sweeter than you might expect, but it's got penty of angst and the smut is insane.

I Will Always Find You a Din series by @lahooozaherr

Bodyguard!Din is one of my favorite things ever, seriously. I have only read the first chapter of this, but I'm so excited to read more. The way the whole first part of this fic is a flashback and you know eventually you get kidnapped???? It gives you this feeling of doom the whole time you're reading lmao (good thing, I promise) but like... our Mandalorian is gonna save us, yeah?

Be-All and Endor - a Din series by @djarins-cyare

Listen... this is the most well researched Din fic I have ever read. The amount of thought that went into this fic is insane. The linguistics are fascinating -- I think she absolutely nails the voice of everyone in this fic, especially Din. The knowledge of Mando'a and Ewokese on display here is incredible and if you ever wanted to hear Din Djarin growl strings of (actually coherent) Mando'a (with thorough translations) right into your ear... This fic is for you. The characterization and the way that every single decision made by Reader and Din make sense and build to such a gorgeous character arc? UGH. And while you have to wait... a long time... for smut -- it is so worth it. GODS this fic is gorgeous. I love it so fuckin much. (This is the one I was talking about in the intro)

Breaking in the new house - a Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

AHHHH this is so fucking hot. It's literally husband (so helmetless)!Din fucking you on like every surface of your house on Nevarro. There is not a refractory period in sight in this fic and I love it with all my heart. He is so hot, I want to die. <3

--------------- my fics --------------

I finally made a masterlist for A Ghost of You and updated all the headers which I'm very excited about. I also added a new fic to that series called Faulty System. The series is a mostly angsty, sometimes smutty Dieter Bravo x f!reader fic.

---------- Oldies but Goodies ----------

Here's some fics from before I did the digest or made commentary!

Jack Daniels x tattoo parlour AU - a Jack one shot by @fuckyeahdindjarin

Early Morning Moments - a Dieter one shot by Jazzelsaur on AO3

Over and Done With - a Javi P one shot @loquaciousferret

Every fic by @frannyzooey (I have too many of her fics on my spreadsheet to rec separately lmao)

In an Instant - a Joel one shot by @mishasminion360

A fool for you - a Joel one shot by @supernaturalgirl20

It would be - a Din Series by @fuckyeahdindjarin

------------------------------------

Happy Reading!

[nani-nonny]

Between You and Me and Him - short version 1

I’m too lazy to format this to look nice or organized, I want to answer the question!!!!

Starting off simple and easy with something your readers wanted to know, DMD. They think you’re hot.

DMD:

He pauses where he sits, an uncertain expression on his face that shows he doesn’t know what to do with this comment. He doesn’t deny it or make any notion to show he dislikes it, but he doesn’t seem to claim it with an utmost confidence like he would when he was younger. He smiles nonetheless, “Thanks, I haven’t heard that in a while. I got used to being called Old by the kids.”

Now that that’s out of the way, here’s a question for everyone. This one’s a little similar to a previous question, but different overall. What’s the first thing you would do if you switched bodies with the peepaw who came before you?

DMD:

He cocks his head to the side as he crosses his arms over his chest as he thinks for a moment. When he finishes his thought, he asks, “Is there anyone who came before me? From what I know, I’m the first, aren’t I?”

Yeah… doesn’t work for you.

Reunion:

He taps his chin for a moment before replying, “Do I get to change the warrior outfit? I’ve seen it in passing, and honestly? Not our best work.”

No.

“Then why bother? Big Mama when she was young was tricky to work with. I’d rather stick with my situation.”

That’s not the question.

He slams his hand on his fist and counters, “Then the first thing I’d do is change the damn outfit, have you seen the outfit? He looks like he’s still in the apocalypse!”

LCD?

LCD:

He nods silently for a few seconds before it shifts to a shake of the head indicating disagreement. “I don’t know,” he grumbles under his breath, “Look around, scan what he’s been doing and search for anything he might be hiding. He’s a secretive guy, I’d like to get my hands on anything that explains why he’s so reserved.”

WDS:

“Kill myself.”

AJSJAAJA—wait, At least think for a moment—

He raises his hand to silence any further comments, “Fuck no. Are you kidding? I have my kids, I have my siblings, I have my family. Why would I give it up for some asshole who couldn’t keep himself in line? Seriously? I already hate the idea of everything he has done—why would I put myself in that situation? Death is a better option than being stuck in that guy’s body.”

DisMir:

“WHERE AM I?”

Cut the cameras.

(A)PAF?

(A)PAF:

He looks around cautiously, a furrow of the brow forming as he tries to make some more sense. “There are others? Like me? What are they like?”

The one before you is in his late 20s.

He snorts and quickly slaps his hand over his mouth. Behind his hand he asks, “He’s still a baby?”

Well, what would you do?

(A)PAF shrugs, “I’m not sure… do a few flips and be grateful I don’t feel the usual back or knee pain.”

What do you imagine yourself doing after 5 to 10 years? Like, did you imagine yourself keep doing what you're already doing or get to do something new?

DMD:

He hums to himself before answering softly, “I don’t know…” He doesn’t look defeated, but rather, hopeful. As if the uncertainty of the future is something to look forward to. “Maybe watch the kids grow? Retire as the champion? I honestly don’t know.”

Reunion:

He sighs and counts on his fingers before answering, “Hopefully get the town running without having to hold everyone’s hand.”

LCD:

He swallows. “In the Hidden City, helping the town. Even if they have forgotten my name.”

WDS:

He smiles softly, “Send the kids off elsewhere, watch them grow. Travel the world with Case. The possibilities are endless.”

DisMir:

His eyes are determined, his expression resolute. He knows what he wants and answers in the clearest voice, “Won the war.”

(A)PAF:

Unlike his predecessor, he’s uncertain. He’s anxious and worried and confused, he looks a loss for words. He shakes his head, “I don’t know. There’s this… baby, and I—I really don’t know.”

Big ouch… moving on!

Don’t think I forgot about you this time, DisMir. A reader thought your entrance was badass when you returned to the future. Why didn’t you have that same energy when you fell into the present timeline?

DisMir:

He’s holding the chair like a weapon, ready to strike anything that might move. He frowns and mumbles, “How do you…?” He sets the chair down and refutes, “Wait a minute, it’s not like I planned on time traveling on a random afternoon. It’s not my fault Mikey somehow managed to link our portals together and switched me and the little guy. At least when I returned, I had a warning. That was predictable, but what wasn’t predictable was the first time traveling.”

Nice excuse. Thanks anyways. See you next time!

[alonelystargazer]

jjk for the fandom ask (hope i was first and also that you're doing well <33)

hi rin! I'm having a nice day today actually, and I hope you're having a nice day too! also yeah you're the first one!

The first character I first fell in love with: 

This might be a surprise to some people, but I actually was a Megumi fan when I first got into JJK 3 years ago. I always gravitate towards the dark-haired, moody, reserved guy in media lol, so of course I would end up liking Megumi. But then I met Nanami and he got bumped down. Sorry! I still like Megumi though, he's definitely a top 5 JJK character for me.

I'm putting the rest under a read more because this is really long.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: 

Hmm, I guess I would say Yuuta for this one. Not that I didn't think I wouldn't like him as a character, but he definitely jumped higher on my list after I read/watched JJK 0.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: 

During season 1 I would've said Todo, because he seemed like one of those meathead frat boy type of guys, but he grew on me during Shibuya Incident as a source of inspiration for Yuuji, and in the more recent chapters of the manga.

But now, I would say Toji. Objectively speaking, he has a complicated history that seems interesting, and he's also attractive, but also he's a deadbeat dad who tried to sell his son to the Zen'in clan, and I can't really find any justification for that. Him sacrificing himself for Megumi in Shibuya is quite emotional, but I don't think it makes up for abandoning Megumi. Maybe it's just a personal issue for me lol.

The character I love that everyone else hates: 

I could joke and say Megumi for this one, but I'm gonna go with Mahito. He's a really compelling villain character and served as a foil to Yuuji in terms of philosophy regarding humanity. And him being the one to kill Nanami and Nobara, as his final acts as a cursed spirit, really impacted Yuuji and left a permanent mark on him.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer:

I wouldn't say I loved Mei Mei, but I liked her enough as an example of a morally-gray character, someone who only looks out for herself. But then Gege showed us where she disappeared to during the Shibuya Incident and THAT whole scene was really disturbing to me and from that moment on, I wanted to erase her from my memory. We really didn't need to see THAT to get the impression that she's greedy and has secrets and all that. It was enough of an example of her taking bribes from Gojo to have the students being promoted and all that.

The character I would totally smooch: 

Hehe, well, I think it's obvious I wanna smooch Nanami and Choso, but would it be weird if I also said Heian Sukuna? Also, Kashimo (old man or reincarnated is fine with me hehe). I would also say Shoko, but she's a smoker and I don't really like the smell of cigarette smoke, sorry. She has a gf anyway.

The character I’d want to be like: 

I really want to be like Nanami in the sense of being a mentor to the next generation, and also like Choso in being the best older sibling.

The character I’d slap: 

Fuck ass Mei Mei lol. If Mei Mei has no haters, then I am dead.

A pairing that I love:

ItaFushi my beloved! The angst, the devotion, it's just so peak tragic yaoi. I've already said what I like about them as a ship, so I won't write a long ass paragraph, but I still have some hope for them, unlike with SatoSugu. I also like Haibara/Nanami and Yuuta/Toge as my top 3 JJK ships.

A pairing that I despise: 

*looks at the long list of ships I dislike/hate* Uhh... well, besides the incest and adult/minor ships, I REALLY hate Nanami/Mei Mei, which is something I've seen on twt a few times and it made me wanna rip the flesh off my bones. They are the antithesis of each other, Nanami who's so selfless and kind-hearted and protects children vs MM who's so greedy and selfish and is a danger to her younger brother, not just because she's a weirdo but also because she uses him for his Cursed Technique. They would never work as a ship, and it really irks me how she's the one who gave Nanami the idea for "going south".

anyway, this was fun!

[thequibblah]

Hi Suuuuze!! Has been like 2 months since I send you my last review and I am SO sorry!!

I’m kind of cheating myself in this because I’m reading CT in two fronts: this one in my private phone and another in my workplace phone. There I’m already on chapter 46!!!! 😅

I wil try very hard to the synchronise the two again since I want to give my first reaction to chapter 52 in here

Sooooo Chapter 5: Ties That Bind

The way Doe is invested in find Mary a rebound is everything to me!! And she is treating it like something very professional hahahaha

Remus made a face. “Smooth sailing for you, maybe.” - Poor Remus!!

You know, I kind of miss fic’s with the boys being boys, theirs times together. This part made me want more of this…

Sirius is that kind of kid that was raised by his parents to own the world (pureblood, first born, the heir of the family and handsome), to rule the world. He thinks a little like this, like he is better than everyone, but at the same time he was abused by them and he learned a lot with his friends and his own mistakes. I can see this in your writing, so I should thank you for this!

But he had, overall, a rather tepid opinion of Lily Evans, having assumed the role of the cynical, protective friend. - We know darling, and you are forgiven.

I don’t know why maybe because of Dex but in my mind Doc was a Hufflepuff… 😬

Speaking of Doc, there’s a reason why the boys don’t like him?? It’s because of all the drama involving MM and MB?? Or there is another reason?

Poor Sirius too… He is kind of hyperactive isn’t he?

Her friend gave her a look as if to say she wasn’t fooling anyone. It’s for things like this that I love your Mary, she knows how to read the in between’s. Never change Mary my dear.

“My sort? I don’t think I’m a nice boy, really. I can be quite a prick sometimes — though I’m working on it.” - Yeah Dorcas, don’t push him to Mary, he’s YOUR type!

iv. All Your Loving - About this hole section I have 1 thing to ask: WHY IS ALWAYS JAMES??? Why can’t it be Snape at least once?? I would love to see him suffering, not my good boy James (and me in extension)

He’s — he and I are in a strange phase of pre-friendship and I don’t think either of us is handling it well. - Turns out I have another question: Dex knew of the rumours about Jily?

Thank you for this part where the boys simply support each other, even with a sad Sirius I like this part pretty much! It’s the beginning…

The last bit of Mary and Doe it’s just heartwarming, I loved every part of it!!!

And that’s all!! Thanks again!! ��

HELLO! omg you are rereading TWICE that's so crazy 😭😭😭😭

and thank you for the note about sirius! there's plenty of characters in this fic who put on a facade to hide their insecurities but sirius does it in a very specific, very mercurial way i find so fun to write. sometimes he lets people take knocks at him, other times he just will not have it—and that spark of pride/defiance feels very much like a residue of his life at his parents' house.

hahah doc, a hufflepuff? never!

and thank you—i love that doe and mary are both quite emotionally intelligent, but in such different ways. they play off each other so well because of it.

they just don't like him because doc's a bit of a snob, tbh! he's not wildly friendly, nor is he sporty so he and james have never had that in common. it's not that they hate him or anything, it's just that james and doc have run in similar social circles for a long time and they've never actively been friends—unlike say frank who james has always seen as a good sort

dex knew what everyone in school knew: that james had asked lily out very publicly at the end of fifth year. everyone comes to their own conclusions about that!

[hylianengineer]

Fic rec friday

This is a weekly event, 5 fanfic recommendations per week. It was supposed to be stuff I've read recently but I fell down the rabbithole that is my bookmarks page so that's been delayed for a bit. If anyone wants recs for a specific fandom, let me know, my AO3 bookmarks are formidably extensive.

Hazel's Hair by Vikingfangirl23

Hazel is spending her 16th summer at the Chase Space in Boston. A regular visit with Blitz at his shop turns into a hairstyling extravaganza which turns into deeper exploration of her past and how she wants to move past it. With a little help from T.J., Frank, and Nico, she begins to see herself as more than the girl who cheated death. (Featuring happy, peaceful days at the Chase Space and cameos by Samirah, Alex, Magnus, Hearth.)

Hazel is my underappreciated Beloved and this fic is so insanely awesome. Slice of life, warm and happy and life-affirming.

2. That's What Friends Do by PuzzledPegasus

Leo is a touch/affection starved lil baby and also Jason kind of platonically seduces him a lot idk how else to describe it lmaoo Anyway this is just Jason finding out Leo is a lil bit touch starved and he snuggles him and its so nice :3

If you know me, you know I adore fics about gratuitous cuddling, especially platonically. This is that. Enjoy.

3. feeding the hearth by grainjew

Percy, Chiron, the joy of teaching, and happily ever afters. Percy took a deep breath. "I really, really like teaching, I think. Well, obviously I don't mind it, or I wouldn't have taken over all the swordfighting classes let alone be in the process of fixing how we teach canoeing and setting up swim classes for the new campers, but... making sure these kids can survive, giving them something to come back home to... it's so much more rewarding than finishing a quest."

Future fic about Percy becoming a teacher at Camp Half-Blood. It's so so fluffy and hopeful and awesome and it makes me want to CRY.

4. Being Us by HonorH

Starting with the three days in the infirmary, Nico di Angelo learns to heal as he and Will Solace negotiate their relationship, discovering how two people so unlike each other can become "Us."

This is a very, very long series and it might be my favorite Percy Jackson fic Of All Time. It's got worldbuilding like crazy, explores Nico's child of Hades powers in-depth, and features an ensemble cast of demigods focusing on the Apollo Cabin. It will make you laugh and cry and everything in between. I am deeply, deeply invested in some of the original demigod characters in this fic even years after reading it. It haunts me.

5. Staccato by decayaslife

The first time Nico hears Italian in the camp infirmary he nearly impales himself on the scalpel in his hand. Once the shock wears off he discovers that not only are the Apollo kids proficient in the language of music, they’re also all horrible gossips. In which Will shamelessly pines behind a perceived language barrier and Nico just lets him.

I am such a sucker for language barriers (real or perceived) and this fic delivers. Pining, humor, and a happy ending.

[respectthepetty]

I am currently hooked on Past-senger. I don't know how possibly may have a happy ending but I am enjoying its lightness and humor. Did you notice Bamee house is the house of Tonhon in TonhonChonlatee?

I have tried Love syndrome III because I like its protagonists but it's terrible. How can the acting be that bad? I know from other series they are not that bad.

How the Koreans manage to give us such a steady string of wonderful stories such as Unintentional love story and The eighth sense? They always leave me with a nice aftertaste I don't get anywhere else.

Anon, Taiwanese BLs are my favorite, but I appreciate Thai QLs because so many are produced compared to the ZERO I've gotten from Taiwan in 2023. ZERO! The last BL Taiwan offered was HIStory 5: Love in the Future, which shared the time travel theme with Past-Senger, and as much as I love Taiwanese BLs and the HIStory franchise, I think Past-Senger did a better job with it.

Quantity does not equal quality, so Thailand having over fifty QLs a year doesn't necessarily equate to great stories or production value, but, much like Vietnamese and Filipino QLs, there is always a solid foundation with some heart at its core. Also, Thai series are easily available, for free. I haven't nor will I watch Love Syndrome III because I will hate it, and not in a fun hate-watch way, but some who watched it liked it because that's the beauty of variety; we have more to pick from based on what we like and there is something for everyone.

Past-Senger, with its Tonhon Chonlatee house, has its issues, and there are plenty including spotty sound, a clumsy final quarter, and odd pacing, but as you mentioned, it does humor well, and it takes the time-traveling aspect seriously compared to HIStory 5. When Kiew lands in the future, he is constantly reminded that he is out of place and not meant to be there, while HIStory 5 spent the first episode on that idea, then quickly moved along.

Korea tends to go back to the past (Tinted With You and Once Again) or for reincarnation (First Love Again and The Director Who Buys Me Dinner), but there is always in underlying melancholy to these since the narrative makes it clear these are "right person, wrong time" stories. Korea loves a time skip like Japan loves to make its guys run. But the issue most people as well as I have with Korean BLs is they are too short to properly develop the plot, the characters, and the resolution. For me, something is always rushed or lacking.

Yet Our Dating Sim has done the best "left him because I love him" plot out of all the QLs I've watched, and I think Star Struck might do well with it also. Both also demonstrate the Korean staple of "right person, wrong time" with time jumps that I just complained about, yet they are done well here.

As much as I stay rooting for Taiwan, I appreciate a range of queer media because every show is doing something different; therefore, each show has the possibility of doing it better.

Gameboys and Hello, Stranger, both Filipino offerings, gave us love stories about the pandemic DURING the pandemic, but unlike my Taiwanese See You After Quarantine?, I feel like some dismissed them simply because they were Filipino even though Gameboys was one of the biggest BLs of 2020 with its mask-off scene.

I have trash taste. I didn't like Bad Buddy overall and I have intentionally never watched a MAME series, so you don't have to trust one word I wrote here, but all of this is really to tell you that as great as Korean dramas are, I encourage you to continue dabbling in other countries' offerings every now and then. I'm a HIStory 4: Close to Me whore first, and a human second, but I loved being surprised by how Bed Friends handled healing from trauma through a sexual relationship, how Moonlight Chicken presented generational and economic differences through a queer lens, and how Kabe Koji and My Beautiful Man showed how distorted views of self-worth can drastically harm the people who love us.

Gems are everywhere. We just have to be willing to shuffle through some dirt to find them. Consider Love Syndrome III your dirt, but perhaps a Mame series will be your gem.

[sublimepenguinpeach-blog]

Title It must be nice to be a Grisha. Chapter 1

Nikolai is not introduced in this chapter just to warn you.

She was tired of this… the fold, the darkling (no matter how attractive he is, men who believe that it’s okay to force themselves onto someone even if they say no … all of it. The only thing good that came out of all of this was meeting and becoming friends with Alina Starkov who she met in the Keramzin orphanage. Both my parents were killed by the darkling since they were one of the few people who had the guts to attempt to go through it. There’s no physical proof that they’re are dead but it’s quite obvious they are because I know that they would have came back for me and the likelihood of them not being killed by volcra (the darkling’s beasts that he put there to ensure that no one could ever go back to their old homes). The woman who ran the orphanage didn’t hold a high opinion of me at least that’s what I gathered when she repeatedly called me weird/eccentric with disdain clear in her voice and told one of the other adults saying “you need to watch out for that girl, she’s not like the others.”

flashback to the year, 2005

I remember the day so clearly as if it was only yesterday. I arrived at the orphanage at the age of 5. All of the other orphans gathered together outside to see who was the new unfortunate soul that would have to stay there but they soon lost interest when they noticed that I was shy and had a hard time meeting their eyes as they continued to ask me various questions like “how did your parents die, why are you refusing to look at us in the eye, and are you usually like this?” The only one who never treated me like I was nothing was Alina. Instead one day, she had just came up to me and just talked to me about her old home, including her parents, and the things she knows are happening outside of Keramzin after overhearing one of the adults quietly talk about it or rather thinking that they were talking quietly.

“We must be friends!” You’re about the only person I can talk to about this stuff with besides Mal.”

I nervously laughed at that and agreed with the shake of the hand but she moved my hand away and instead hugged me which was an odd gesture I thought because the only people who ever hugged me at the time were my parents. Alina let go after a minute realizing my uncomfortableness and then rambled on to talk about the next thing that was on her mind. I have a feeling that before coming here, she didn’t get to talk to very many people who were her age unlike me where I always had to attempt to interact with people who were my age because my mom wanted me to improve my social skills and she thought that the best way to do that was drop me off at this daycare every day while she saved lives. My dad and I weren’t close like my mom and I. We frequently fought over everything. Sometimes these fights weren’t so bad just some yelling coming from the both of us mainly him at first. The worst fights were when he would bring up my insecurities which worsened them and he would also say that I was an ungrateful child etc. There were some good moments but I remember more of the bad moments than the good. My mom had told me repeatedly that my dad did love me but I just couldn’t see that since all he would do is criticize me and make fun of my insecurities which makes it seem like he really dislikes me. The last day I saw my dad was a few before leaving with my mother to try to get our old home back. He told me to be good and that they would be back as soon as they can. He kissed my forehead and went out of the door with my mom. My mom briefly turned back her head to look at me and for a brief second I thought I saw tears forming.

A few months after arriving, these men came to evaluate each of us to see if we were Grisha which I suppose I will never know if I am or not because before they called my name, Alina grabbed my hand and ran. “Why are we running?” Are the men really that bad?” I mean they sure at doing very good in the look department, I will tell you that.”

“Y/N, that’s not why we are running. The reason we are running is because I don’t want to be tested.” Alina sighed and stopped running to catch her breath. “Is it because you’re Grisha?” “You know I am sure it’s not a bad thing to be Grisha in fact I bet it’s really cool being a Grisha since you got to have a specific power that you can use whenever you want and the greatest thing about it is that there are others like you who have the same power as you.”

“I am sorry for rambling but you know me, talk first and ask questions later actually scratch that it’s the complete opposite.” “Ask questions first then talk incessantly.”

Y/N, I am afraid that I could be Grisha even the possibility of being one scares me. “Do you know how hated Grisha are by most of the world especially here?!” She runs her fingers through her hair and gently grabs ahold of both of my shoulders. “We must escape because I fear that it won’t just be me who will be taken away but also you because it’s just as likely for you to have powers too.”

A hearty laugh escaped from her mouth. “Oh god, why are you laughing, what did I say now.”

Don’t worry Alina, you didn’t say anything wrong but I do find it funny that you think that there is a huge chance of both of us being Grisha because at the end of the day, I believe that they had it all wrong. You are special, you’re the one people need to keep a watch on and you will be the only person who comes out of here who will you know be something. I just have this feeling that you will, don’t ask me why because frankly I can’t think of a solid answer for that at the moment.”

Alina laughed at that. “Okay then, let’s go back and get this over with. She once again grabs my hand and we are heading back to the direction of the orphanage. Little did Y/N know that she was right, Alina was special.

She’s the sun summoner..

To be continued

[kasaneteto]

been thinking about this guy a lot. dont read under the cut if you dont want persona 4 spoilers or dont want to hear me talk about how i used to wish this guy would do nasty things to me because of my trauma

first of all this is not a character analysis this is my very personal relationship with the character. second of all this is normally the kind of thing i would put on my private instagram but my roommate is currently playing p4 & i dont want him to get spoiled. so sorry that youre subjected to this i guess. anyways.

recently something ive realized about myself is that i am a HOPELESS romantic. i require something to pour my affections into. & if that isnt a person WELL its gonna be a fictional character. for me the adachi blorboism started right after i ended my first real “relationship”. i say “relationship” because it was less of that and more of me being groomed by a guy 5 years my senior. unfortunately, this guy was what got me into persona. he asked me to watch the p4 anime with him and that was it for me lmfao.

so wtf does that have to do with adachi. well i didnt think it had ANYTHING to do with him until recently. being in therapy has allowed me to really dissect the way my environment has manifested in my behaviors and atp im confident in saying that getting groomed is pretty much the reason i love adachi so much. groomer man was the literal definition of a nice guy, like i made a nice guys finish last joke to him once & his actual response was “but it’s true though…” and he was SO bummed when adachi was revealed to be the mastermind. he was all “ooouuhhhh it sucks because he was such a good character before that”

so i got out of that relationship, had clarity over the fact that he had been manipulating me the entire time, got my hands on my own copy of p4 (i had still only seen the anime & played arena atp) and when i got to adachi’s monologue i was like. THIS GUY IS AWESOME!!!! HOW IS HE A WORSE CHARACTER FOR THIS!!!! im realizing now that travis (groomer) probably felt very attacked by adachi’s motives. & not only that but that i felt very comforted by how blatantly evil he is. that sounds really weird so let me explain.

i saw (& honestly still see) adachi as someone who’s a product of his environment. he felt trapped & suffocated by inaba, felt mistreated by his superiors at work, and with being given access the tv world found something that he felt he could control, which was fun for him in a world of boredom, of which he felt like the victim. i related a lot to that feeling of being trapped somewhere you can’t escape from (both because of my relationship & at the time living with my parents) and really appreciated his fucked outlook on life. not like. the misogyny part. just the whole “life only favors the lucky ones” sentiment. i also saw him as a much more honest & self-aware version of travis. he knew he was doing bad things to people who didn’t deserve it, and his justifications were just “i was bored”. unlike my ex who probably still sees himself as a victim

idk! i guess the takeaway here is that there’s still so much more to me than i know. im learning new things about myself every day. im very glad to finally be on this journey of self-discovery. ive always been a really introspective person but i dont think i ever asked myself WHY? why am i like this. like actually. so im doing that now. & the answers are actually pretty fucked up! ive always played down my trauma because its what my parents and a lot of my peers did. my “best friend” as a kid (she was honestly just a bully) didn’t believe me when i told her that my parents fought. like it was so much worse than i allowed myself to believe. i played down getting groomed because I wasn’t like r*ped or anything (he touched me with my permission but no insertion happened idk if that counts as r*pe) but whenever i tell people that my parents were not only okay with it but allowed him to come visit me from Canada and STAY AT MY HOUSE….they are always shocked. because thats so fucked up! like… what!

alright ive really gone off the rails with this but in conclusion: adachi is a piece of shit and thats why i love him. he’s my disgusting babygirl. my awful little mongrel anime husbando. & you dont get him like i do

[thisisourlovestory]

Ahhh thanks for the tag bestie!!! Also sorry this took me so long to repost

1- Ophelia (it’s my honorary middle name)

2- 3rd December

3- depressingly no

4- probably Percy Jackson because it’s my comfort book series

5- am I good enough

6- Joe Keery, Charlie Bushnell, Matthew Gray Gubler, Henry Moodie, Cameron Chapman

7- none lol

8- author but it’s highly unlikely to actually happen

9- I read 144 books last year that was a pretty big accomplishment (not including all the fanfic as well)

10- I fainted in school once because my tooth started falling out (I was a weak child)

11- highs- spending time with my bestie and just having fun lows- I’ve cried a lot. I don’t know why but yeah

12- Greece and Italy cause the history

13- at the moment by reading fanfic and watching stranger things but it changes like every month

14- Pinterest and these couple of stupid little games that just have no purpose but they bring me joy

15- is really quiet and shy when we first meet but when we become friends you realise I’ve probably got a screw loose somewhere and I’m a bit insane but nice

16- ummmm I have no idea maybe my hair and height (is being tiny attractive people?)

17- I’d like to say I’m really good at writing

18- art just art in general I truly suck at it which is sad because I’d like to be able to draw my characters

19- I used to tell my mum every morning no I didn’t read past 9. I would read well past after she went to bed

20- the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell (literally I know nothing)

21- my bestie

22- my teddy bear and my book collection

23- umm I think 4 years

24- I will never feel like an adult

25- I play netball sometimes and I really like athletics

26- I feel a bit meh

27- definitely a night owl

28- yep it happened for me but unfortunately not for him so that’s fun but I still believe in it

29- And I wake up in the middle of the night with the light on and I feel like I could die cause you're not here- Risk Gracie Abrams

30- watching tv and reading with something sweet to eat

31- Henry Moodie, Sabrina Carpenter, Gracie Abrams

32- boys, which is brilliant for me

33- people eating with their mouth open, it’s disgusting

34- the death scene of any of my favourite book or tv characters

35- likely just bafflement

36- should I write fanfic tonight? And hope everyone’s having a great day

No pressure tags @bunniesandsilk @platypusbearrr @cherrsnut @thosesillylittlegayghosts

Question Game

Are we tired of these yet?

What is your nickname?

When is your birthday?

What was your longest relationship?

What is your favorite book?

What is something you're insecure about?

5 Male celebrity crushes

5 Female celebrity crushes

What is your dream job?

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

What were your highs and lows for this last month?

Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

How do you de-stress?

What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

Describe yourself in one sentence.

What do you think makes you attractive?

What is something you're really good at?

What is something you're really bad at?

A time that you told a lie.

What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

Who knows you the best?

What is your most prized possession?

What is your longest friendship?

When did you first feel like an adult?

Do you/ Have you played any sports?

How are you feeling right now?

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Favorite song lyrics right now?

What does self care look like for you?

Describe yourself with 3 singers.

What makes you nervous?

What’s a pet peeve you have?

What will always make you cry?

What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

Free Pass! (Ask any question you want that's not on the list)

[aloneatl4st]

Im not using tags cuz I hope this doesn't get found

Ive started college in 2023 and now im getting closer to my 1st year. Ive met many people and stopped talking to quite a few.

Ive recently made friends with a guy whose name shall be Hunter for this post and anonimity. Hunter is a straight guy who ive gotten to know quite a bit in the last 4 to 5 weeks.

Im ashamed to say it, because i should know better, but ive had a crush on him for i would say 3 months. Against my better judgement i decided to let myself get infatuated with a man that has no ability to like me back which isnt something surprising to me but still a mistake i couldve avoided somehow... I just dont know how.

Hunter is a very nice and caring guy i would say in general, he funny and he, unlike most straight men ive talked to in my life, isnt disgusted by my existence as a queer man. He touchy feely and for shits and giggles even asked me if i want a piggy back ride (im a 6 foot non-skinny man, he realistically had no reason to do that). I dont really laugh like I laugh with him and thats what makes me feel so painfully pathetic.

Recently it seemed he got a bit closer to another one of my friends whoch made me feel super defeated as she is a girl, but i managed to confirm from her that neither one of them like eachother.

Another huge problem is that he broke up with him abusive girlfriend about 2 or 3 weeks ago, which makes me feel disgusting and "opportunistic". I wish I wasnt like this but i havent received this level of attention from a man in a while, especially positive attention.

Realistically I know Hunter will never like me or be into me (hes got VERY clear straight boy behaviour, its hard to explain) but hes also pretty gentle with me and sometimes his touches linger and I feel like a fool for letting some second-grade infatuation ruin me like this.

Ive been unable to function for 2-3 days right now, just listening to lovesick music and fantasizing for something that was clearly not meant for me ever. Sometimes I still regret not being born a woman, so I could just love the guys Ive been into in the past without feeling added-on guilt of incompatibility due to sexuality.

I just wish he knew how special he is, and how sweet and nice, and hes also such a sight for sore eyes... Gods I am not your strongest soldier, stop giving me your toughest men to have crushes on my hearts love capacity is too large to use on men who cant love me back.

In a world in my mind where things go my way, he figures out he is bisexual and somehow I have a chance with him, I just hope itd happen fast cuz he has rendered me immoble and unable to complete simple tasks cuz all I do is think of him.

Hunter... youre very beautiful and sweet, and I know thia information is useless because neither one of us can do anything with it, but I hope whoever is your next girl will treat you right cuz if you treat women better than you treat me than I cant imagine ever being toxic to you like your exes were 💔

[kunrengui]

hi just talked to a rlly close irl friend (he's nice) who i didnt talk to in a long time (DNI, i just need to get this off my chest)