#am i officially hamiltrash now?

[majiniesthings]

Remember (that night)

Also on AO3.

They had shared lingering glances, seemingly accidental touches and just a little more closeness than was strictly usual between good friends from the very beginning. John remembered being intrigued from the moment the scrawny man with the loud voice had first opened his mouth (“if you stand for nothing, Burr, what will you fall for?”) and he'd felt the other's dark, expressive eyes on  him even before that.

Alexander had leaned on him for support later that evening, cackling with alcohol-induced mirth, shoulders shaking with it when John wrapped an arm around them to steady him. Alexander had quieted, then, head falling back onto John's shoulder as he stared up at him and rendered him unable to look away.

The moment had been broken by Hercules stumbling against them and spilling half of his drink, but it hadn't been the first nor the last one that evening.

John remembered all these occasions with crystalline clarity. He knew the way Alexander could talk up a storm, dark eyes blazing and his hands flying, fluttering around him, never still, never stopping, and he knew the way the same Alexander went silent and eerily motionless when there was thunder rumbling above their heads and rain beating down onto their tent.

He remembered holding Alexander close that night, letting the smaller man curl into him and cling to John while he shook and flinched at every crack of thunder. He'd murmured meaningless words into Alexander's hair, nothing worth repeating but enough to serve as a grounding presence until Alex, exhausted to the point that his shivering had subsided to the occasional, weak shudder, had slipped into an uneasy sleep.

John remembered the first time Alexander had kissed him, quick and passionate in the spur of the moment like so many things he did, and he remembered the slightly wide-eyed, nervous look Alex had given him afterwards before John had leaned in to press his lips to the other man's again, effectively cutting off any sort of justification or apology from being spoken out loud.

He remembered the nights they'd made love under the thin blankets in their tents, as quietly as they could to avoid the risk of getting caught, remembered Alexander's breathy whispers and his light, almost shy touches that grew more confident as time passed, remembered the way Alex' hair would tumble down to frame his face, the way his eyes grew even darker when John whispered his name back at him. It was hard to forget, really.

Although, John mused, it seemed it came to Alexander easier than to him, if the light in his eyes when he looked at Eliza was any indication. He had watched his lover twirl the Schuyler girl – a lovely thing, really – around the dance floor for as he could bear before he had slipped out onto a balcony while nobody was paying attention to him. There was a half-empty glass of some alcoholic beverage or the other dangling from his fingers as he leaned against the stone railing, staring up at the clear sky and reminiscing, trying not to think of the fact that Alexander was most likely having the time of his life inside the ballroom right now, with Eliza and his new-found step sisters, with his family.

Of course that meant a lot to him, John got that. He did. Truly. It was the first time Alex experienced a functioning family, what kind of person would John be to begrudge him that? No, he was going to get back in there and smile and be a good best man, a good best friend. In a minute. He merely needed a moment to compose himself.

Of course, things could never be that easy, could they?

The muffled sounds of music and chatter grew more pronounced for a moment when the door behind him opened and John turned, a smile plastered onto his face. It grew more genuine when he saw who had joined him outside.

“Lafayette,” he greeted quietly and received a striking smile from the Frenchman in return.

“Mon ami,” came the warm answer. “What brings you out 'ere all by yourself?”

John looked down at his drink, swirled it around in its glass. “I just needed some air,” he muttered and looked up to give Lafayette a smile that was hopefully convincing. Concerned dark eyes met his and he immediately knew he had not fooled his friend.

“This does not mean he will stop holding you dear,” Lafayette said.

John averted his gaze to fix it on his drink again so he wouldn't give his emotions away in his expression. “Of course,” he agreed half-heartedly. “We're his friends, he's still gonna like us.”

“Oh, I am not talking about us, mon cher,” the taller man responded gently. “I am talking about you.” A little alarmed, John glanced up again – they hadn't told anyone about their involvement, not even Hercules and Lafayette. It had seemed too risky, not knowing how they would react. But whatever reaction he had feared might come, all he got now was the knowing, compassionate look in the Frenchman's eyes. “It's alright,” he added, and John felt long pent-up tension drain from his shoulders at the words.

“Thank you,” he whispered hoarsely.

Lafayette wrapped an arm around his shoulders in response, pulling John against his side in a firm, comforting half-hug. “Will you come back inside with me?” he asked and John, tucked against his side, glanced at the doors, the shapes of people he could make out by their shadows.

“Why don't you go ahead,” he replied after a moment of hesitation. “I'll be there in a few minutes.” As an afterthought, he tacked on: “I'll be fine.”

For that, he received a critical look from Lafayette, but then he patted John's shoulder gently. “I see,” he said. “Then I shall see you later, mon ami.”

“Sure thing,” John answered with a smile that didn't feel quite as forced as before. He raised his glass in a small toast and his smile was returned before his friend slipped back inside, probably aware that pressing John for answers wasn't going to get him anywhere.

With a sigh, he turned his back to the door once again and sipped on his drink. He didn't feel like going inside just yet.

He wasn't sure if that made him a horrible person, but seeing Alexander so happy with Eliza was hard to bear, especially with the letters in mind that were safely tucked away with his belongings. Had Alex sent the same carefully crafted words to Eliza?

My dear Laurens... my dear Eliza?

The door behind him opened again, light and music and laughter spilling out onto the balcony before it clicked shut again.

“Laf, I told you I'd be there in a minute. Go find yourself a petite mademoiselle or something.” He didn't look up when the other man leaned against the railing beside him.

“Okay, first of all, your French is atrocious.”

John jumped and turned. “Alex! I was just catching some air, I was about to head back inside, I swear, I just –”

“Hey.” Alexander slid a warm hand over John's chilled one resting on the cold stone railing. “It's okay.”

John smiled wryly. Everybody seemed so intent on telling him that. “Of course,” he replied hollowly. “I... you're good together, I've seen the way you look at her, it's – you love her.” He had to force the last three words past a suddenly tight throat and Alexander's hand tightened on his.

“That doesn't mean that I don't –” he began and cut himself off just as quickly. He was better with those things in his letters, John thought. He wasn't sure how to feel about that.

“It's okay,” he echoed the other man's earlier words. Despite that, he felt a sharp sting of disappointment when Alexander's hand left his. Usually, he was more stubborn than that.

Then, there was an insistent tug at his shoulder. He let himself be turned around after a moment, leaned back against the railing to stare at Alex without looking confused or longing. The shorter man met his eyes firmly and took two steps backwards into the middle of the balcony before he extended a hand toward John.

“May I have this dance?”

Large, dark eyes were fixed on John, who sputtered. “Stop that, Alexander, you're being silly.” He held his drink in front of himself defensively.

“I'm not,” Alexander insisted. “Come on, Laurens, dance with me.”

John was tempted, but shook his head. One of them had to keep a level head after all. “We can't –”

Brash as ever, Alex stepped in, reached out to pluck the glass from John's loose grip and set it down to precariously balance on the railing behind John before he took both of his hands in his own to pull him with him as he stepped backwards again.

“Alexander, someone is gonna see, you're going to –”

“Talk less, dance more,” Alex cut him off and John scowled.  

“Don't Burr me, seriously, you of all people...”

While he was busy protesting, Alexander tugged one of John's hands to rest on his waist and clasped the other with his own. John sighed in defeat when his lover took a step back, vaguely in tact with the music they could hear playing softly from inside.

John went along stiffly for a few seconds, then closed his eyes in defeat and drew Alex closer. He took the lead, keeping their pace slow, small steps moving them around the balcony, his cold hands regaining some warmth from Alexander's body heat.

For a few minutes, he could pretend the muffled music from the inside was playing just for them, Alexander and him under the clear, if cold sky. Their breaths came out in small, white clouds that dissipated into the air between them like so many unspoken words – regrets, promises, apologies, confessions. So many things they'd written in letters received on lonely nights, things they'd never said but knew all too well nonetheless. Things that didn't need to be said, things that perhaps should not be said.

For a few minutes, John got to bask in those things, got to cradle Alexander close and have him move with him, pressing close against the chill.

Eventually, however, the waltz that had been playing faded away and John reluctantly came to a halt. He refused to let go just yet, pressed his lips to Alexander's hair and heaved one, two shuddering breaths while he blinked rapidly against the tears blurring his vision. He was not going to cry on his best friend's wedding night.

Alexander squeezed his hand and John exhaled with a shiver before he stepped back to meet the other man's gaze. Alexander's eyes were large and dark and vulnerable, reminding John that this wasn't as one-sided as his mind would have him believe; with a bitter-sweet twist in his chest, he pressed a kiss to the other man's forehead and watched Alexander's eyes flutter shut, a shaky, uncharacteristically quiet sigh on his lips.

For once, he didn't have anything clever to say. Instead, he squeezed John's fingers gently and asked: “Will you come back inside with me?”

“Yeah,” John murmured, almost a whisper, and he knew he was going to remember this, too, their shared minutes in the cold outside the ballroom, for a long time yet.

Alexander's “thanks” drifted around them in a cloud of white, frozen breath and John let himself be tugged along by his hand, back toward the door that led toward the ballroom.

When they stepped over the threshold, music and chatter suddenly at full volume again, Alexander's fingers slipped away from his and John thought he might remember the feeling of something colder than the winter air settling around his heart and squeezing for even longer.

[apopcornkernel]

i have officially become hamiltrash.

also satisfied is now stuck in my head and i am trying to memorize guns n ships

also

LAFAYEET

[leo-nardo-di-taekwoon]

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag people

I was tagged by @jaellyhwan and @kenikme ❤️❤️❤️ I tag you (random tagging):

@whinytaekwoon @rapperravioli @fxck-vix @hamiltrash-swl @chained-up-taekwoon @akashxt @marrymeleoxxiu @taekwoonies

THE LAST: 1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: my mom 3. Text message: “HAHAHAAHAHAHA” 4. Song you listened to: Vixx - into the void 5. Time you cried: yesterday lol (nothing serious tho, just watching some sad shit)

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no, im single as fuck 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: single as fuck 8. Been cheated on: hyukbin cheated om me 9. Lost someone special: what do you mean ‘lost’ 10. Been depressed: yES 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: lol not gonna happen

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: black, purple, pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: YaaaAAss 16. Fallen out of love: yeah 17. Laughed until you cried: i almost died 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yep 19. Met someone who changed you: uhhh, maybe 20. Found out who your friends are: yep 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no ew

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: a lot of them 23. Do you have any pets: 3 dogs 24. Do you want to change your name: no cause my name is hyuk’s birthstone 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: swimming with the fam 26. What time did you wake up: 9:00 am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching gay porn (reading a hyukbin ff after that) 28. Name something you can’t wait for: hyukbin 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: uhh, she’s upstairs sooo 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my height 31. What are you listening right now: the sound of my electricfan 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: idk lmao what kind of question is this 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: school 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr, Youtube, Twitter, AFF

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: plenty of them. I have one on my boobs. 36. Mark/s: a very small one on my right arm 37. Childhood dream: to be an actress 38. Haircolor: dark brown 39. Long or short hair: long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: not yet 41. What do you like about yourself: im cute as hell 42. Piercings: hell na 43. Bloodtype: guess 44. Nickname: bea 45. Relationship status: single and ready to murder 46. Zodiac: Libra 47. Pronouns: She/Her

48. Favorite TV Show: none 49. Tattoos: nah 50. Right or left hand: left 51. Surgery: hell no 52. Hair dyed in different color: im too scared to try 53. Sport: reading smuts 55. Vacation: we went to singapore last april 56. Pair of trainers: bish wut

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: i only drink water cause plants have feelings too 58. Drinking: my anxiety 59. I’m about to: nut 61. Waiting for: hyukbin to be official 62. Want: hyuk’s thighs to choke me 63. Get married: i cant even spell merry 64. Career: psych

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller (cause im smol as fuk) 68. Older or younger: older (sugar daddy lol) 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: both 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: hyukbin 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: yes, in my dream 75. Drank hard liquor: ….yeh 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i broke my glasses 77. Turned someone down: a lot of them lol 78. Sex in the first date: ??? 79. Broken someone’s heart: i think i did 80. Had your heart broken: no lol 81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: of course 83. Fallen for a friend: yep

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: sometimes 85. Miracles: idk 86. Love at first sight: yes lol 87. Santa Claus: nope 88. Kiss in the first date: what the fuk is this 89. Angels: yes

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: secret 91. Eyecolor: dark brown 92. Favorite movie: Kingsman

[fandom-loveletters]

Anyone But You! Soulmate AU: (Thomas Jefferson x Female!Reader)

Summary: When you meet your soulmate, your heart glows.  Warnings: None? I don’t think Requested: Nope… Just me being trash… Author Notes: I told you I was Hamiltrash, so this is me, living up to the name… 

^Look at this beautiful man… *sigh*

Another night, another ball. But it wasn’t something you minded; you were used to them by now. 

Ever since your brother began to climb through the ranks as the right hand man of General Washington, you’d both been invited to countless parties or balls and all kinds of festivities. It was at one of these balls that Alexander’s heart glowed red when he met his soulmate, Eliza Schuyler. 

You were delighted for your older brother, and for your new sister-in-law, when they shared their vows and began a new life with each other. And since you were still a young and very single lady, Alexander and Eliza insisted that you continue to stay with them. It was admittedly awkward for a while, but eventually the three of you worked out a routine. And then a baby boy was born and everything was thrown off track, but it was a lovely time. 

But that was a while ago now. And you started to wonder if you’d ever find your own soulmate and settle down…

However, you were not the type of girl who dwelled on things you couldn’t change, if you did that, you’d have lost your mind ages ago, on that tiny forgotten spot in the Caribbean. So you put on the dress you’d picked out, with the help of Eliza, and made your way down the stairs to meet up with Alexander. They both smiled at you as you stepped up to them. 

“You look lovely, Y/N,” Eliza complimented. You blushed and your brother added, “I’d expect nothing less from a Hamilton!" 

You followed them into the carriage and filled the time with pleasant conversation and jokes the whole ride there. However, neither you or Eliza could prevent Alexander from ranting about his problems at work. His favorite problem to lament about was, of course, Thomas Jefferson. Your brother hated that man to his very core, and was not afraid to show it. 

"And the worst thing is that he’ll be there tonight! Trust me, if it were my decision, that pompous, egotistical, son of a–" 

"Alexander!” Eliza warned, “We’re almost there and I don’t want talk like that to ruin our night. Please, Alex, promise me the two of you won’t start something?”

“But–!”

“Alexander…”

“Fine! But if he tries to start something with me, it won’t be my fault! I think then I’d have every right to–”

“Walk away? Yes, I agree. That would be the most logical decision, brother,” you finished for him, casting the same warning look his wife gave him. The man sighed, knowing he couldn’t fight off the two of you. 

Finally, the carriage came to a stop and you were the first to step out onto the drive of the mansion where the ball was being held. You waited until Eliza and Alexander entered and were announced, then you prepared yourself to be announced without an official escort. You tried not to think about how people might stare or whisper about you, about how you haven’t found your soulmate by now. Instead you attempted to smooth your dress and stepped up to the top of the stairs. The man next to you announced you and you quickly made your way down into the ballroom, simultaneously trying to hold your head high and keep yourself from making eye contact with anyone. Then you made a beeline for a chair at the side of the room, a quiet place to keep out of the way of everyone else. 

It seemed only a few moments before a bright faced Peggy came bounding up to you, squealing, “You’re here! What’re you doing sitting down?! Don’t you want to dance with all of the fancy suitors?” You laughed and replied, “I know you believe in searching for a soulmate one person at a time, Peggy, but I think I like waiting for fate to intervene, instead…”

“But who knows how long that will take? Don’t you think you’re…” Peggy trailed off when she saw your smile drop from your face. She quickly tried to recover, “Oh, not that you-! I didn’t mean-!”

“No no, you’re right Peg,” you stood up and brushed off your already spotless dress, “I need to do what Alexander always does: take initiative. Do you mind introducing me around the room?” You held out your hand to the youngest Schuyler sister, and the girl gladly accepted it. Then you found yourself being dragged around the room, dancing occasionally, and meeting all kinds of new people. 

For the moment, the two women took a break, enjoying glasses of champagne and glancing around the room as Peggy searched for their next victim, I mean, new acquaintance…

“Hmm… it doesn’t look like there’s much of anyone left, Peggy. I supposed we’re done for the night, right?” You asked hopefully, your feet beginning to drag with every step you took. You just wanted to sit down at this point… However, Peggy seemed to have a different idea, “Mmhm, yeah, just one more, I promise!” Then she snatched the glass out of your grasp, took you by the hand, and led you blindly across the ballroom to a smaller corner by the back doors leading to the gardens. Before you even knew what was happening, Peggy stopped in front of two men and began, “Excuse me, gentlemen, I’d like to introduce someone. This fine young woman is Y/N Hamilton.”

With barely enough time to collect your bearings, you turned to the men and curtsied politely. And just as you straightened, one of them took your hand, kissed it lightly, and said, “A fine young woman indeed…" 

You blushed and looked up into the face of the man who said it, only for everything inside of you to freeze on the spot as you stared up into the face of… Thomas Jefferson. 

You stood in shock, at a loss for words. Your mind fuzzy and blurred, you almost didn’t notice his eyes flicker down to your bodice, before his eyes widened and he said, "Oh no…”

Just as your mind caught up enough to be offended by his stare at your chest, you glanced at his own. It glowed, right where his heart was. Panic growing, you looked down at your own chest now. The same glow emitted from it. 

You threw your hand over your chest in a painfully useless act to stop the glow. A gasp escaped your lips and you frantically snapped your head up to look him in the eye, your brother’s worst enemy, your apparent soulmate. You cried out, “No! Not you! Anyone but you!" 

Immediately you realized your mistake as heads all over the room turned and stared at the four of you. You bit your lip and pushed past the two men in front of you to escape into the gardens. You didn’t look back, and hoped with everything you had that no one would follow you. 

But it wasn’t long before you heard the door open behind you. You kept running until you lost yourself in the hedges and rose bushes. Finally, you stopped, out of breath from your run and your tight corset. You collapsed onto a stone bench in front of a fountain and placed your head in your hands. You breathed deeply, in and out, desperate to forget what had just happened, and how everyone must be talking about your outburst. You felt humiliated, and tried so hard not to let tears fall from your eyes. Then you heard footsteps approaching. Your head snapped up in panic, expecting Jefferson. But your body relaxed when you recognized Eliza cautiously making her way toward the bench. 

"Y/N? Are you alright? Peggy told me what happened…” Eliza sat down next to you and gently placed her hand on your shoulder. But suddenly you snap, words tumbling out, “What am I going to do? How am I supposed to fall in love with my brother’s worst enemy?! I don’t know…! If he asks it, should I just marry him…? Eliza! What is Alexander going to say?!" 

Eliza pulled back and stared at her sister-in-law, pondering the same question. She took a breath before replying, hesitantly, "Well… I’m not sure what he’ll say, Y/N… but everything from here on out is your decision, not his. And not mine, and certainly not Jefferson’s. You don’t have to marry anyone if you don’t want to, and if anyone tries to force you into something–!” You cut her off by hugging her tightly. She quickly embraced you back, laughing quietly, “Alright, alright. You’re welcome! Now, I think you should head back inside and explain yourself to Mr. Jefferson. I’m sure he is quite confused…" 

You stood up quickly and agreed, "Yes, you’re right. I’ll go talk to him… but could you please break the news to Alexander? Preferably somewhere in private so he doesn’t cause a scene…” Eliza nodded from where she was still sitting. “And Eliza?” You paused and looked back at your sister. She waited patiently for you to finish, “Thank you…” Her face broke into a smile and she stood to give you a final hug. Then she pushed you away and said, “Now, go!” With a smile still on your face you dashed back toward the mansion, however, not a few minutes later, you turned a corner and bumped into the person you’d been looking for, but still dreaded to encounter.

“Ah, just who I was looking for…” Mr. Jefferson drawled. He grinned down at you, prompting heat to flood your face. You gulped and stepped back slightly, as the man made no effort to alleviate the space between you two. Then you took a deep breath, tried to draw strength from Eliza and her supportive words earlier and said to him, “Mr. Jefferson… I understand that earlier this evening our two hearts flowed in signifying that we were to be, or perhaps, always have been, soulmates…” You paused and didn’t dare look into his face as you said the word. Then you took a deep breath and continued, your speech picking up speed in nervousness, “And I’m truly sorry for my actions when I learned of this fact. I was taken by surprise and I may have said some offensive or hurtful things. But please understand, Mr. Jefferson, no matter what the universe, or God, or fate may say, I will not allow myself to be forced into marriage with anyone I have not met or gotten to know on a personal level or even talked to for more than five minutes so if you are here to ask this of me I’m afraid I’ll have to decline!” You stopped ranting, out of breath and your face hot. Then you heard a quiet laugh come from the man in front of you. You whipped your head up to glare at him, angry he could be laughing at your declaration. And when he noticed your glare, he immediately composed himself and quickly reassured you, “Oh! Oh no. I wasn’t laughing at you, dear. Please forgive me if I offended you. I was just, you see, I intended to tell you the same thing. I had no intention of marrying you on the spot, although I have heard of some people doing that… Anyway, I’m glad we seem to be on the same page.”

You stared up at him, realization and admiration filling your eyes when you heard what he said. Then you collected yourself and stammered out, “S-So you d-don’t mind that I’m a… a Hamilton?” He laughed again and replied, “I’ll admit, that surprised me at first, but… you two aren’t too similar, are you?” He eyed you suspiciously, obviously wary that he might have to spend the rest of his life with someone just like his worst enemy. You smiled and told him matter-of-factly, “I’m my own woman Mr. Jefferson.” He grinned in relief. The he held his arm out to you and said, “Now, if the lady would agree, I’d like to escort her back inside and spend the rest of whatever time we have left of this evening getting to know her. Will you join me?" 

You pressed your lips together and hesitantly slipped your arm through his and replied, "I suppose I would. Thank you, Mr. Jefferson.” He shook his head and suggested, “Please, call me Thomas.” The two of you began making your way back to the mansion, and as you ascended the steps you smiled, “Then you must call me, Y/N." 

He held the door open for you, and as you stepped inside he said, "It’d be my pleasure, Y/N.” You both laughed as you entered the ballroom again, and Thomas led you to the side of the dance floor, where Peggy and James Madison waited. Finally, you were able to properly introduce yourself to the man, and Peggy gave you a quick hug and asked what happened. Just as you told her you’d fill her in later, something interrupted her reply. 

“WHAT?!" 

Everyone turned to find the commotion, and you grimaced to see Eliza desperately trying to shush her husband in his outrage. But your brother would have none of it, "HE’S HER WHAT?! NO! NOT HIM! ANYONE BUT HIM!!" 

You groaned and turned to Jefferson to apologize, but he was already saying, "I’ll take that as my cue to leave. I don’t need a black eye tonight.” You smothered a laugh and he took your hand, kissing your knuckles softly. You blushed and he said, “But it was lovely meeting you Y/N, and I do hope you’ll write?” He formed it as a question, leaving the choice to you. You nodded quickly and replied, “I’d love to, Thomas. But you should go,” you glanced over your shoulder to see your brother stalking his way over, “I don’t think Eliza will be able to hold him back this time…” He nodded and bid his goodbye to Madison and Peggy. Then he shot a smirk toward Hamilton and scurried out of the party. You laughed quietly as you watched him go. It would be difficult to be together, yes. But it would not, it seems, be difficult for you to love him. That may already be happening…

[tinydoobles]

I am officially Hamiltrash now... and I am completely okay with it.  

[zumidotexe]

I keep wanting to do an “update on Zumi” kinda thing since I was away for.... what, a year? Something like that. But there’s all of three points I figure are worth mentioning.

-I no longer work at my old job.

-For those that remember me with @usami-chan13, she and I are still together (4½ years strong ♥).  For those that don’t, I actually met her in the Wild Kratts fandom.

-You may have noticed that before I officially came back I’d occasionally make posts about Disney Ducks. I’ve made an entire sideblog for that now, Down in Duckburg, which also worked as a test about coming back to Tumblr full-on; obviously it worked. Ducks are also apparently my first fandom? Since I found out recently I learned to read on, among other non-Disney titles, the old Uncle $crooge comics. Which explains a lot >.>

Other than that and becoming Hamiltrash, sob there’s not really much else to report XD   Still drawing, still RPing, slowly breaking into the animation market with animatics Zumi shush you’ve completed ONE and I think that’s about it.  I got a Wii U too, I guess?  I dunno.  I am as I am.

Can you guys tell I’m bad at the summary thing 8|  I don’t have a proper bio either, it’s just all links.  Though I did put the one to the old WK Demon AU back, so I guess there’s that.

[witchraftywizardry]

Music Shuffle Tag

I was tagged by the pure sweetie who is @quibblersandquidditch my who you should all follow and give all the love what a smol bean!! Rules: Put your music on shuffle and post the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people (or however many u want lol) 1. Fluffy' Harp - Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone Soundtrack What a way to start this off and expose myself for the dork that I am. So I bought this soundtrack for 2 reasons; one, I'm Harry Potter trash, and two, I threw my friend a Harry Potter surprise party and this was the music I was playing in the background of the party (it was lit) 2. Can't Fight Against the Youth -Panic! At The Disco Ah Panic! , my first band love. This is the first band I got obsessed with they were my favourite for years and are still a huge favourite of mine and I love all their music, so yeah, check em out!! (I say them, it's just Brendon now lets be real) 3. The Reynolds Pamphlet - Hamilton soundtrack HAMILTON IS MY WHOLE LIFE I AM HAMILTRASH NUMBER 1 (also just musical trash in general) (also I love this song it's so EXTRA) 4. Blow Us All Away - Hamilton Soundtrack More Hamilton!!!!!! Also this song is the goes from the happiest most boppiest bop to the most heartbreaking sob fest so be prepared (this musical man) 5. What'd I Miss - Hamilton Soundtrack (again) Hamiltrash, what can I say. Thomas Jefferson is trash but Daveed Diggs is EVERYTHING I LOVE HIM this song is amazing as is the whole soundtrack 6. Kitchen Sink - Twenty One Pilots Love my boys and love this tune (side note I'm a huge loser who can only express emotion in memes and ironic slang btw) 7. This is how I disappear - My Chemical Romance My emo side is showing. Love this band and this is probably my fave MCR album?? Idk I haven't made an official decision yet it changed all the time but this one is GOOD 8. Someone in the Crowd - La La Land Soundtrack When did all my music turn into soundtracks?? Anyway musicals are my life and so is la la Land it's artistically amazing and everyone should watch it (I've seen it three times now) 9. Sick of Losing Soulmates - dodie Also I am dodie trash. My music is a rlly good portrayal for everything I'm trash for?? Anyway I'm so gay for dodie and her music tbh 10. The Apparate Suite - Potter Puppet Pals A meme song and still the funniest thing ever you gotta listen to this (it's 7 mins long and I know the whole thing word for word...) What a great insight into what a listen to (the answer: mostly trash) I'm surprised no The 1975 or The Beatles showed up because I have so many of their songs?? but I'm just gonna give them a cheeky mention because they're probably my two favourite bands so?? Yah I'm tagging my trash buddy @fuckthewaveringwood And these cool peeps @ebbthegoatgirl @snowbazblogithink @sncwbaz @simonsnowstail @snowsmagic @jjjolly @eroticgropefest @ismill @snazzybaz @snowbazmysons @dodieandtessa (who I think knows me as dodieclarkie but hey that's me) (Okay that's more than 10 I'll stop now but I have loads more awesome folks who I could tag!!)

[eclipsleep]

@tinyscribbles is now officially hamiltrash i am so proud

[collectingpersonasforfun]

I.....am not good at this

2/1/17

So, I’m basically the worst at keeping this up to date...Honestly I don’t think anyone cares, but who knows there may be that one person reading these cause it’s interesting (Hey a man can dream ok....). Well what can I tell you? Lets see.....hmmm....I KNOW...”HOW DOES A BASTARD, ORPHAN, SON OF A WHORE” I have fallen prey to the Hamilton fandom and am officially Hamiltrash. I have fallen in love with all the character’s voices, flaws, jokes and the intensity of their voices. They’re all just astounding and the lyrics (Don’t even get me started!)...All I wanna say is that “The room where it happens” is the most fun I’ve had singing a song by myself (that wasn’t punk [I’ll tell you more on that soon]). I’ve just fallen in love for everything about it, and honestly who doesn’t ship hamilton and laurens (even if it’s just a little). The only downside to my new obsession that has nothing to do with my crush is that my friends have to go deaf to my relentless off-tune voice. 

Now....What you always expect of me in this blog....cause I’m not very unique about this....I just like telling you about this situation and all the details (take it as a show of trust random reader :D ) I’ve basically just been a mess of thoughts and worries. My heart is like a compass that’s confused as to what direction is correct and which one is wrong and just spins uncontrollably. I’ve tried just getting over it, not by ignoring them or acting like it never happened; I’ve been trying to just understand that our story was just that a story. one which would never have a full ending and I just have to live with it;However, the heart is indecisive and is not controlled by your mind. I still feel very strong and alive feelings for someone who never thinks about who I am or why I held their hand like I did. While I’m here wondering what he meant a year ago when he gave me that look and said “hey baby” (like seriously da fuq who does that? was it a joke? or was it a genuine expression?). Either way if there ever was anything I’m too late and I have to live with it. Like a river the possibilities have stopped flowing, drier than the Sahara desert. It’s just something I have to live with. I’m currently just having weird impulses of saying some weird shit around them (I literally joked about child support [WHO DOES THAT?] and I held their hand by accident in the stairs [they tried their best to rush away from me XD ]). I’m such a train wreck of emotion and impulse..... but you know what? I’m learning from all this. I’m learning that if i want something I should do my best to work for it and take it from the world. Making it entirely mine and no one else’s as someone’s truest feelings are the ones which lead to the most broken or fulfilled of people.

Well that’s basically me lately, I promise to write when I can and don’t forget to do so.

[solarpire]

Me: *draws Hamilton*

Me: this is it,, theres no going back now,, I am Officially HamilTrash