#am i insane? yes. am i delusional? also yes. do i believe my own suspicion? not really! im not to be trusted!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

aw man now i gotta go edit my wips and snippets now that i know Sally calls Howdy "Howardson". i've been having her call him "Howdell"

[anika-ann]

Think Again (When You Stop Freaking Out) - Pt.3

The New Level of Crazy

Pairing: None                   Word count: 2642

Warnings: language, hella lot confusion, attemp at science talk… irony and sass? ;)

Summary: Steve and Foggy go for a trip and Matt has to deal with Avengers’ own science bros. Oh boy.

Story Masterlist

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After a bit awkward process of dressing up, for which Steve kept apologizing profusely – ‘just stop apologizing, Murdock, I heard you the first time’ – they managed to get to the street (which made Steve want to take a beeline back to the apartment, blind or not, because the assault on his senses was brutal) and hailed a cab.

Steve dutifully recited the right address, not allowing Mr. Nelson to speak, only to be questioned by both Nelson – silently –  and the cabbie.

“Are you sure? ‘cause I’m pretty confident that it’s the Aven-“

If Steve didn’t know better, he would think he could hear the moment Matt’s friend resigned.

“Yeah, he’s sure. Don’t you know it, even that kind of building needs to be ADA compliant and my friend here is going to test it, so if you would be so kind…” Mr. Nelson interjected, sounding a bit different than before and Steve wondered if this was his business voice or he was just losing his nerve. Either way, it probably worked.

Also, Steve was one hundred percent positive he heard Mr. Nelson’s pulse falter, which was impossible, but ‘impossible’ was just another Thursday for him.

His train of thoughts was cut off by a dialling tone from the lawyer’s phone, soon followed by a female voice.

“Hey, Foggy! Did you reach him? Is he okay?” the woman asked, sounding a bit worried if Steve could take a guess.

A pang of guilt twisted his stomach for making her worry – and while Steve didn’t feel good about it, he wouldn’t have such a strong reaction, not normally. Weird. Maybe it was about the woman’s and Matt’s relationship and the body reacted on its own? This thing was getting stranger with each minute.

“Yeah, Karen. He’s… I don’t know what he is…” Nelson admitted with a twitch.

“What does that mean? Is he… is he hurt? You know, because he’s… uhm… night activities?”

Steve blinked, his eyelashes brushing the lenses of his glasses – dark ones, he assumed, because Matt was blind –, glad no one could see how alarmed he was.

Night activities? What kind of night activities? Steve would like to think they were talking about an… intimate way of spending nights, but he was sure he was not that kind of sore. Blood rushed into his cheeks at thinking about the body he was occupying this way, but he needed to figure this out dammit!

How could a blind lawyer spend his nights in an unusual way, in a way that would get him hurt?

Steve’s money would be on alcohol, but for some reason, he didn’t believe it. There was just something about the way Foggy and Karen spoke about the topic that made him wonder and his hair stood on ends.

And unwittingly, his thoughts once again wandered to a movie he had been forced to watch recently, because it was a classic.

So, logically, his first question back in his role of (apparently) delusional Matt Murdock pretending to be Steve Rogers, after Mr. Nelson hang up, was: “Foggy, am I... am I in a fight club?”

“Are you in a— Matt, if this is a prank, you're really taking it too far,” he hissed back, and ouch, not a good question then. And his heart started racing again – like, unhealthy fast, Steve thought.

“But-“

“Matt. Do you have amnesia? Do you even know who I am?”

“Foggy Nelson,” Steve shot back immediately, happy he had stocked this information and could answer correctly without making the man beside him angry again.

“Yeah, okay. And who's that? How did we meet? What fruit or vegetable we are – yes, I know you insisted it was a fruit, but…?”

Steve just stared. Or, not stared, but he would stare if he could, perfectly confused. Was this a twenty-first century thing? Did friends name themselves after a fruit or vegetable? That didn’t make any sense, right? So, naturally, Steve asked the only questing that did make sense.

“Uhm... is this a test?”

“YES, you duffus!”

“Look, I would really appreciate if you just took me to the Tower-“ Steve gave up, only to be interrupted.

“Yeah and what are we gonna do? You have the sudden urge to reveal your identity to the world’s mightiest heroes? Because if you do-“

“My identity?” Steve cried out, Nelson’s hand covering his mouth right after to shush him.

What the hell? What identity? Was Matt secretly a criminal, hiding behind an act of a lawyer? That wasn’t right. Right?!

“Oh god... you need to stop talking, Matt.”

Steve murmured against the other man’s palm, trying not to think about everything he smelled on it.

“Keep the volume low, Murdock.” Only then, the palm disappeared.

“I'm begging you, Mr. Nelson- Foggy-“

“Okay. Okay. Let's say hi to the real Captain America,” he muttered, sounding surprised, as if he couldn’t believe what they were about to do and he was agreeing to it. “This will not end well. It better get me an autograph at least.”

The rest of the ride was quiet. Not in the actual sense of the word, because of all the noise that made Steve’s/Matt’s head hurt, but the point was, no one said another word.

Mr. Nelson paid for the cab and before Steve knew it, they were walking into the lobby of the Avengers’ Tower, a walking cane in his hand again and hanging onto the other man’s arm so he wouldn’t walk into anything.

The lobby was nice; Steve had never appreciated it, but it must have been soundproof, because the noise of the city almost faded, which was something he was immensely grateful for.

They approached the reception desk, Mr. Nelson leaning onto the woman behind it before she could speak up.

“Good morning. There’s no easy way to say this-“ he lowered his voice to a whisper, “-alright. So, my friend here claims to be Captain America and he didn't escape the psych ward, I swear, and I know-“

The woman’s heartbeat picked up, her perfume swirling the air as she spun on her chair for a phone. “Oh. I'll inform Mr. Stark. He needs someone to make his day.”

“What? Really?”

Steve’s lips twitched. He never thought Tony would actually ask his employees to take care of making his day. But yeah, it sounded like Tony.

“Mr. Stark, I am sorry to interrupt your work-“

“Trust me, you’re not interrupting, Kelly,” Tony’s half-amused half-bone-tired voice replied to the speaker – Steve guessed he wasn’t supposed to hear it, but with Matt’s exceptional hearing, he had no trouble understanding. “What’s up?”

“There are two gentlemen of which one claims to be Captain America, Sir.”

There was a choking noise on the other end of the line.

“You're joking. Send them to Banner's lab.”

“Will do, Mr. Stark. You can go up,” she announced, smile in her voice.

Nelson’s heart freaked out. “Uhm. Really? Okay. Alright. Matt, buddy, come on. Which way…?”

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“You’re weird.”

Matt tilted his head at the voice, before he remembered he needed to look up to that person to actually see them and not to keep staring at his – well, Steve Rogers’s – blood filling the vial; like a tenth one, by the way, this friend of Rogers’ was sure thorough.

A man in a t-shirt and sweats walked in with his eyes glued to Matt while scratching his goatee. Matt’s eyebrows shot up involuntarily at the casual look, so they both examined each other with curious eyes.

“Thanks, T-tony,” Matt said finally, causing the man frown and look at the other scientist.

“Alright, Banner, what’s the word? And don’t repeat my diagnosis, that’s nothing new.”

Aha! Banner! Bruce Banner, Matt remembered. He had heard the name before…

Mr. Stark went to some… flying pictures – holograms, Matt believed they were called –, moving his hands so he could see the data, while Banner stood next to him.

“Not much to tell. My theory is that when he touched the package, it did something to his memories. He said that he— wait, how did you know who Tony was?” Doctor Banner spun to Matt, confused.

“Uhm… you said you would call Tony, so… I guessed we… knew each other.”

“Huh. You guessed we know each other? So you had no clue who I am? Now that’s insulting,” Stark noted, scoffing. Matt fought the urge to roll his eyes at the diva. “Okay, so memories. What else?”

“He says he feels like he’s in a wrong body. That it feels to big – well, he confirmed it when I offered the phrase.”

“What about his brain scans?”

Matt tried to ignore the fact they started talking about him as if he wasn’t in the room.

“Everything seems rather normal, except his brain is… working a lot.”

“Now that’s a new one…”

“Hey!” Matt did jump to defend his/Captain’ honour this time. His protest was thoroughly ignored.

“His cerebellum is going insane, which would make sense – if he doesn’t feel right in his own body, he has to be putting a lot of effort in just walking or sitting upright. Also, it looks like the areas of visual and auditory cortex are misbehaving. He’s using it a lot. Do you have trouble with your hearing? Can you see clearly?”

Matt jumped when being talked to again. Well. A little. I feel like I’m deaf and I can see quite clearly, if that can be described as ‘trouble’.

“Uhm…” Matt fumbled with his fingers, which was an action that didn’t escape Stark’s notice, so he stopped.

“The body language is all wrong.”

Matt gulped at Stark’s note. Yeah, no shit.

“Since when you’re an expert on— no, don’t answer. Just tell me what you mean.”

“What I mean is... if his consciousness returned to the state before the serum, which I guess is your suspicion-“

“Yeah.”

Huh, Matt thought. Now that was an interesting theory. But maybe he should just tell them? Sure, he had no idea how to explain them that he was somehow in someone else’s body, didn’t know how and why, but… they were the Avengers, for God’s sake. Surely they were used to unexplainable…?

“Nervous ticks should stay the same, right? You think he adopted them after?” Stark questioned.

“Uhm, gentlemen-“

“Well, he might have adopted them later, don’t you think? When I’m… the other guy, I’m not exactly-“ Banner motioned with his hands vaguely and Matt just grimaced at being ignored again.

“Sure, but that’s different, right?”

“Doctor Banner-“

“Well, he could always be just hammered, I mean, Thor’s liquor…”

“Come on, Tony…” Doctor Banner questioned him with what could almost be called disgust, clearly annoyed – which was about the same state Matt was as he was being neglected completely.

“Mr. Stark!“

The man in question snapped his head Matt’s direction, shock all over his face. “You never call me that.”

“Well, that would make sense, we never met.”

“You just said you guessed we knew each other,” Stark remarked, confused but intrigued. Matt made a face. Yeah, about that… He cleared his throat.

“Yes. I changed my mind, because this leads nowhere. Firstly, if I could take a guess, my visual cortex is misbehaving, because I am legally blind for the past two decades-“

Bruce paced to Matt, his hand soothingly reaching out as if he was trying to stop him from Hulking out. “Steve, what are you talking-“

“I’m not Steve.”

There was a beat of silence, only intruded by their breaths and a mask of horror on the scientists’ faces as they turned to each other.

“Split personality?” they asked each other simultaneously and Matt face-palmed at his own stupid move.

He rose to his feet. “Barely. My name is Matt Murdock-“

“Friday, run the name.”

“-and I can tell with absolute certainty that I am in the wrong body. And if my assumptions are right-“ Oh shit, that totally slipped his mind, if he was in Steve Rogers’ body, did that mean that- oh, oh fuck, he was blind- “-then your friend is in mine and let me tell you, he’s definitely freaking out.”

Banner and Stark stared at him, speechless, disbelief all over their faces. The stunned silence was cut by Friday’s voice.

“Matthew Michael Murdock born 3rd May 1982 in Metro General, Hell’s Kitchen. His mother Margaret Grace Murdock, father Jonathan Murdock, also known as Battlin’ Jack Murdock in the area. Matthew was orphaned at the age of ten, eight months after the accident in which he was blinded. He grew up-“

“-in Saint Agnes Orphanage, went to law school in Columbia and after an internship at Landman and Zack opened his own firm with Franklin or Foggy Percy Nelson of Nelson and Murdock, with a secretary Karen Page, who was their first client when being a murder suspect, cleared of all charges,” Matt recited, mimicking the mechanical voice, more feeling than seeing the intense glares Stark and Banner were giving him.

“That… is all correct, Sir.”

Matt fell silent, watching the two men expectantly, waiting for them to get their shit together. They might seem at least partly convinced, but that didn’t mean they didn’t look freaked out. So much for them being used to weird.

Tony Stark was the first to recover, raising a hand directed towards Matt. “Hold on. So you’re able to see after like… twenty years.”

“Yes.”

“And you just what? Roll with it? I don’t buy that.”

Matt sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose. “I did throw up as the first thing after I woke up.”

“That’s it true, Mr. Stark,” Friday supplied helpfully and Matt was grateful for the voice for the first time. He smirked in Tony’s direction.

“So… you’re not Steve. Why didn’t you tell us right away?”

“Wait, you actually believe him?” Stark blurted out, incredulous as Banner examined Matt from a whole new angle.

“What? It would explain everything. The visual cortex, his auditory functions – usually, you rely more on your hearing, don’t you? I mean, you have to compensate somehow… the coordination – just imagine, Tony. Even if he would be tall and muscled, becoming a serum-boosted soldier is a whole new level-“

“Well, it doesn’t explain how the hell that would happen! Tell us something lawyery,” Tony challenged Matt and he couldn’t but roll his eyes.

“Do I have to? Isn’t it enough that your building is not ADA compliant? You don’t even have braille in the elevators.”

“They have an AI running them!” the billionaire cried out, wounded. Then he stopped as Matt grinned, realizing Tony just adjusted to his ‘play’. He huffed.  “I don’t like him. He’s sassy.”

“Must be terrible, getting a taste of your own medicine,” Banner remarked, the corners of his lips twitching. “But seriously. If you’re in Steve’s body, it does make sense for him to be in yours-“

“There had to be a better way to phrase that. Thanks for the mental image, Banner.”

The doctor just continued. “We need to find him. He really must be freaking out. I mean… freaking out on Steve’s scale. He is accustomed to a certain level of crazy.”

“I would think so, but you didn’t believe me this was happening. Imagine him living it. It is insane, trust me. I have no clue how-”

“Sir, the reception desk is calling you.”

Stark blew a generous amount of air from his mouth in annoyance, still watching Matt, wary. “Put them through.”

Matt only smiled in relief when there were visitors announced. And one of them claimed to be Captain America. Matt was sure Foggy was having a blast; and yeah, he would definitely had to take him to Josie’s for a glass (or two) of shitty whiskey later.

Matt gulped when he realized that the ‘later’ might come much later then he would like. If ever.

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Part 4  

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Tags: @igobypoet​ @mermaidxatxheart​