#am i firmly back in my mcu bag? maybe so...... maybe..... so......

[jonny-versace]

Just saw Guardians of the Galaxy 3...... nobody talk to, touch or even look at me, I'm severely emotionally compromised. Sobbing like a little tiny infant thing over a cgi racoon, I love cinema

[huntergatherercreator]

The Takedown | Part Fifteen

Pairing: Mob!Tom Holland x Detective Reader

Summary: NYC has a new drug lord determined to wipe out any and all competition in order to grow his empire. You're going undercover to stop him.

Warnings: Maybe a teeny bit of violence?

AN: It’s been a minute since the last part of this series was posted. I haven’t written anything since then so fingers crossed this is OK.

Catch up here: Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven | Part Twelve | Part Thirteen | Part Fourteen

Part 15 - 1,601 words

My apartment had already been too small. Now with Joe blocking the doorway and Holland practically breathing down my neck it felt tiny. Hunching closer to the laptop screen I tried to focus on the information scrolling before me. I’d pulled up the last three months worth of records detailing what cruise ships had docked and was whittling down the list slowly. There were ones we’d suspected that had already had a full background check but I couldn’t cross them off without raising suspicions.

“What’s this?” I stilled as Holland leaned over my shoulder, finger tapping at an entry. With his breath tickling my throat and the soft scent of shampoo emanating from his curls it took me a minute to focus.

“It seems like a shell company. I can try to trace it but it’ll take time.”

“How can you tell?” Suspicion was apparently his only tone tonight. I nudged out the chair beside me as an invitation. When it went ignored I twisted in my seat, intent on glaring at him until he relented, only to realise too late how close he actually was. My lips skimmed over his cheek. I could feel my colour drain as his breath caught. I made to shove back from the table but his hand caught my shoulder, holding me down.

“Trace them,” he murmured. Hands shaking slightly I pulled up a new search engine to start. Only when I started typing did he let go. Relief trickled through me but it was short lived. Dragging the offered chair to the corner of the table he slipped off his jacket and hooked it to the back before settling with crossed arms to watch me. I flicked a glance over his shoulder to Joe who threw me a wink before going back to staring out the window. Trying to shove back the humiliation I could feel creeping up my cheeks I pulled up as much as I could about the company, already knowing it’d come to a dead end.

After half an hour I read out the details I’d scribbled down, eyes firmly on my notepad as Holland questioned me. Then he chose another company. And another. On and on until we’d almost exhausted the list.

The smell of expensive coffee roused me from my notebook. I blinked and a takeaway cup appeared under my nose courtesy of Joe. I accepted it with a grateful smile and he gave me another of what was becoming his signature winks. Closing the laptop I shuffled my notes into order and put both on the counter allowing Joe to start emptying the paper bag of breakfast foods he’d bought. It wasn’t until I was up out of my chair that I realised how sore I was. Rolling my neck I rubbed at a tender spot on my shoulder with a grimace.

“Maybe you should take five to clean up?” Joe offered. My eyes automatically drifted to Holland for the first time in several hours. He looked as dishevelled as I felt. Hair unruly once again from running his hands through it every time I hit a dead end. I realised with a jolt that I was waiting for his permission.

“Good idea.” I mumbled. Quickly skirting past them both I headed for the bathroom locking the door firmly behind me. I cringed as I caught myself in the mirror. My skin was pale, tired. The tie that had been keeping my hair back had failed leaving long messy wisps falling around my face. Running the cold water I repeatedly doused my skin until I felt the last of the brain fog disappear. I needed to be on higher alert, more so than before. Holland wouldn’t keep accepting the trails going cold. There was only so long he’d sit patiently knowing Rivera was out there. I needed to find a solid lead but I wasn’t sure if I could on my own. As much as I’d learned about tracking down corrupt company details those had all been from tracing low level thugs, people who didn't have the knowledge or the money to properly cover their tracks. Rivera had both of those things. It could be damn near impossible to directly link him to anything.

A jolt ran through me. Wasn’t that exactly what Holland did? He made it impossible for anyone to get information about the next level because each of his men ran their own area. Quickly drying my face I threw open the door coming face to face with Holland.

“You and Rivera are the same,” I started the words dying in my throat as his mood visibly darkened.

“No. We’re not.” He stalked closer and it took me a second to collect my thoughts as replays of the day before hit me. My gaze flicked to the damaged wall. A reminder not to push him, no matter how much I wanted to.

“Let me finish,” I insisted, hands coming up to hold him off. “How did I find you?”

Confusion flashed before irritation settled on his face. “Stupidity, and luck.”

“No. It was through Arnold. The only way to you is through your men. It’s the same with Rivera, he-” He pressed his palms against the door frame either side of me, blocking me in.

“Why are you wasting my time? Rivera’s men don’t know where he is. If they did Joe would have gotten the information.”

“Stop interrupting me!” I shoved against his chest in frustration. He grabbed my wrists spinning me until my back was pressed against the cold tiles of the bathroom. Eyes boring into mine his jaw ticked, grip getting tighter.

“I am nothing like him.” Anger surged as we fell into the same dance we always did. Hooking a leg behind his I used his grip against him and put him on his back. A sliver of sympathy shot through me as he lost his breath but I let my anger chase it away, using it to power my arms into holding him down.

“I’m fed up with you thinking you can push me around and bully me. This,” I motioned with my head to the position we were currently in, “is the last time I have to do this. Understood?”

Eyes unreadable he nodded curtly. I cautiously let go, easing back to a sitting position, not ready to give up the upper hand just yet. When I was sure he wasn’t going to lash out I continued.

“We’re looking through the information for ties to Rivera himself. We should be looking for ties to the men we know he associates with. He’s using them as scapegoats. The companies are in their names, that way if anything goes wrong-”

“Then the trail ends with them” he finished, shoulders slumping as the realisation hit him.

“Exactly. And what better way to ensure your men’s loyalty. They’ll do everything they can to ensure their area runs smoothly because it’s their necks on the line, not his.” My smug smile was missed as he closed his eyes, hands coming up to scrub at his face.

“You didn’t sleep did you?” I asked gently. He let out a humourless laugh, his body rocking under mine. I planted my hands on his stomach to stop from falling onto him. Fingers splayed I could feel the solid muscles that made up his abdomen tensing as he shifted. The realisation of our position hit me. Mouth dry I tried to chase off the scenarios that my brain was throwing at me. I could control myself. Or so I told myself repeatedly.

“Care to let me up?” he asked, eyebrow raising as he looked pointedly at where I was touching him.

Sure he’d somehow been able to read my thoughts it took me a second to find my voice again. “It depends.”

“On?”

“Whether you can behave yourself. I meant it before, this is the last time. You’d never have figured any of this out without me.” I instinctively clenched my hands into fist. His t-shirt got tangled in my grip, tugging it up to reveal a small section of skin just above his waistband where the line of his hipbone slid out of sight. I was a hypocrite asking him to have decency when all I could think about was how much more I’d be able to expose before he stopped me.

“You’re right.” I almost lost my balance in shock at his admittance, eyes darting away from him.

“From now on you can take the lead but only when we’re alone. In front of my men you say nothing.”

I reigned in the urge to roll my eyes. Given who I was dealing with the conditions could have been a lot worse. I could handle letting him keep the facade of all knowing mob boss.

“Deal,” I agreed. “We have breakfast then I need you to get me the names of Rivera’s men. The higher their status the better. I’ll work on retracing the list from earlier and cross referencing it against them. And you, you’re going to get some sleep. It’s a waste of resources having you sit watching me. Joe can help in your place, he was the one that interrogated them anyway so he’ll know more than you do at this stage.” Reluctantly I released his clothing and pushing up to my feet. Instead of joining me he propped himself on his elbows.

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered, deadpan. Spinning I left him on the bathroom floor as the heat that had been simmering through me peaked. Get it together, I mentally scolded myself.

- - - - - - -

Taglist:

@spideylovin

@lukesbabylon

@panicattheeverywherekid

@keep-bears-wild

@unbelievableholland

@tomholland-mcu

@whattheheckparker

@stargazerholland

@gorillaglue23

@marvelpeters

@weirdowithnobeardo

Part 16!

[btswishes]

Love me for who I am now

Bucky x Reader ( Chapter 2 )

Previous / Next

Summary: You apply for the Stark internship and end up getting it, so now you have 5 months to make a good impression to continue working with the Avengers.

A/N: Continuing my little experiment here with chapter2, a bit more filler for the story. Sorry for any mistakes made, hope you enjoy it even a tiny bit.

Word count:  2,903

Warmings: fights, harsh language, not part of the original MCU

Y/N- Your name 

Y/L/N- Your Last Name

                                  ----------------------------

   The suitcase made a slight thumping sound, when you laid it down on the floor next to your desk. Wasting no time books found their new home on the empty shelves, notebooks fell asleep in the dark drawers. Pens, pencils, markers and all your stationary soon followed suit and found their own little space to rest.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.” the silence in the room finally got overthrown by the voice of its new owner, asking for some help in the matters unfolding 

Yes Miss Y/N

“Would you put a timer for 5min from now please?” still focused onto your stuff, finding them a visible but safe from damage storage. Nothing could destroy as well as time and dust did.

Timer set for 5 minutes from now.

“Thank you.” The only thing left to do now was to get the clothes in the closet and move the tech to the lab. Hopefully Dr. Banner wouldn’t mind waiting a bit more, not like he seemed to but who knows, Hulk lived inside him after all. You didn’t want to take a chance and play with his limits. The closet was hidden inside the wall, stealthy I must say. Toothpaste and toothbrush, essentials and cosmetics. All was done, now.

      Ding Ding Ding.  

Timer is going off  Miss. Shall I turn it off or restart it?

“Thank you F.R.I.D.A.Y. You can turn it off. “

  Your laptop and small bag were safely nestled under your arm, making your way outside the room.  For a moment you thought you got lost, but the orange tint of the sun’s rays soon pulled your attention in the right direction. Around the corner your nose caught the smell of caramel. Your head hesitantly protruded behind the pillar, as you called out to the man holding 2 cups in his hands firmly.

“Oh.” He jumped a bit, reaching out offering one of the mugs “ I hope you like it, we don’t have much selection when it comes to tea here. Coffee addicts you know.” he laughed out

“It is ok. Thank you very much.” Your leg levered and you swung onto the bar chair like it was nothing, taking a sip from the hot drink. You felt it warm you up slowly as it went down, melting away a bit of your anxiety. Once again your sight was captivated by the view. No one knows how much time passed since you got lost in the sunset, but it was nice. You could barely hear the bustling city from the 134th floor. It was only you, the sun and the room. Quiet almost like a safe serene space.

“Beautiful isn’t it.” Bruce shook you out of your little mind palace

“Mm? Ah, yes. Very much so. “ you puffed out some air with your smile, eyes forming little crescent moons “I feel like a cat, my attention keeps drifting to the glass unintentionally.”

“I understand you. I keep doing that myself and I have lived in the compound for quite some time now. “ the conversation was lighthearted, easily drifting over the main reason for your arrival “One would think I would be used to it by now.”

“Mr Stark made this place so calm. Big yet homey.” Your head scanned the area, words intriguing the doctor “ In a way it contrasts the inner state of most of the Avengers.” realized what just came out of your lips, your body stiffened. Oh man, way to ruin it - you thought to yourself “I am so sorry.” The mug clanked under the table, sending a vibration to his palm, as you bowed “I spoke out of place.”

“I think you might be on to something.” Your neck pulled your head up, a few strands of hair falling down next to your soft cheek. Bruce was still looking at the setting sun with a soft smile, his jaw exposing the beard to the light, coloring it a deep fiery yellow hue. There was something nostalgic in his dark eyes. “Most of us here have some sort of troubled past- lets sugar coat it a bit. This whole building, on the levels we use., is like a constant Zen state. It calms us down unintentionally. How do I say this...” He turned towards his coffee, laughing out almost silently.

“Maybe it offers you the peace you couldn’t have on the inside, masking the pain from past trauma. A way to indirectly cope with all that had happened, offering a haven to heal the past.” Bruce was listening to you, taking in your way of thinking and how right you were about something that had always been in front of his eyes ,but he had never noticed it before. Such a young girl, so much pain in her manner. He couldn’t bring himself to ask you about the weight inside your voice. It felt too close for him to do so. He had just met you after all, it is not like he could just straight up ask you about all your deepest and darkest secrets, that you might be hiding underneath your mature façade.

“Well, enough about our depressing past.” He pushed off the table “Lets get you situated in your new place.”Dr. Banner began walking in the direction of the lab, turning towards you from time to time. He was make sure you were close by and not lost somewhere in this maze of halls, corridors and who knows what else Tony could have hidden in these walls, for some unsuspecting person to stumble upon.

“I am sadly not familiar with your work like Tony is. He told me about you literally a few hours before you arrived, so you would have to excuse me for that.” You nodded with a smile, accepting the apology he didn’t even need to speak of 

“The lab is pretty big.” He unlocked the door and turned the lights on. It was exactly as he said and nothing like you had expected. The color pattern was the same tints, maybe a bit of blue mixed in as well, a dash of red. The tables and tech inside were state-of-the-art, high-quality and very well kept. Some weren’t even yet released or known to the public. Talking year 3054 up in here.

“This will be your desk, right next to me.”Bruce plopped onto his chair and waved at you “Hi, Hi.”

  He gestured for you to get yourself as comfortable as possible, which you almost couldn’t wait to do. Your fingers gently ran over the material getting familiar with it. Just with one look you already knew where everything was going to go, like it knew it’s own home. You had a tech bay, where you could check how systems worked, if they didn’t and building anything. It was amazing, just an arm’s length distance was possibility and creation itself. Excitement boiled inside you, eyes wide. Reaching inside the bag, you pulled out your work computer, your project tablet and made sure they were all connected to the internet and matched the Stark system interface. As soon as you saw the company logo you were all set up.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.” the silence danced hand in hand with your voice

Yes Miss. Would you like a run down on the desk functions?

“Yes please.” In a matter of minutes you realized that this wasn’t just some random fancy desk ,but a whole machine of its own. Interactive hologram functions, building station and program 3D design. It had it all. Bruce was shocked how easy you worked with F.R.I.D.A.Y. , naturally taking a lead and informing yourself at 100% capacity about what you will be working with. For a second Tony flashed before his eyes.

“What made you apply here?” he cut your investigation “I don’t mean to be rude but I saw some of your pre-university work.”

“No problem. I was mostly out of the country for a very long time, maybe most of my life. When I came back the Avengers were something I loved watching on the news.” The praise went over Bruce’s head unnoticed “ There was something nostalgic when I looked at you guys. Mr. Stark’s tech, the way everyone fought with ease, I don’t know how to explain it. I craved that in my life, almost like a forgotten world I was striving to immerse myself back into. “ a gentle crook of the neck and a smile eased Bruce from the question

“Well you made it here, so congratulations.” loud joyous clapping followed his words” I think I am talking for all of us, we will love having you around. So-” His face became serious, glasses finding the bridge of his nose onto his face, eyes sharp “Would you like to start with your job here miss intern?” he winked playfully waiting to see your reaction. Like a mirror ,you pulled your hair away from your face, rolled up your sleeves and flashed back the same look of determination. “Introduce me to your train of thought and your projects.”

“I work mainly with the structure and characteristics of vibranium. At first, I was focused on making prosthetics that pack a punch the same way the Iron Man suits worked and Sergeant Barnes’s arm- of course on a smaller scale. But then my mind started drifting towards the process before amputation, which was for a certain percent of people the healing factor. Maybe inside strength as well. ”

“As in incorporating it into medical technology?” this sounded too simple of an idea coming for someone Tony chose, yet Bruce kept listening. He was judging the book by its cover way too soon.

“Not exactly. Vibranium has a metal crystal structure that possesses ‘memory’ the same way other metals remember being indented even after getting fixed or straightened eventually. My theory has a few parts before I reach the main plan. Going on an atomic level, even deeper to its base structure, I change the connections between the atoms. They have the same functions as in keeping the shape, but missing that molding memory.”

“You are saying you can mold the bonds, selecting freely what function to remove?” Bruce pushed back off his chair, letting the idea enter his ear and stay there, feeding the interest on his face.

“I am not saying I can.” he was listening more and more with each passing minute “I am saying I did it. I am in the final stages of my project.” Your hands pulled out a flat disk of vibranium  “F.R.I.D.A.Y. would you do a double scan before and after I bend this?”

Affirmatively Miss. Scan done. Shall I offer a hologram?

“Please do.” Right between your two bodies you could now see the basics of the metal “ See how the bonds are thicker? I noticed, metal bonds just have to keep  the shape of the crystal structure. Not only did I make vibranium stronger than it originally was, but now if I bend-it.” Your voice strained in pair with your muscles, as you folded and unfolded the sheet. The second scan showed no memory intake not even deformed the shapes “I call this metal healing.”

“That...that is amazing, not even a crease to be noticed! But where are you going with this?” Bruce rubbed his face, still shook from what you just showed him

“It might sound stupid, but this isn’t even my main idea. You see, if we look at matter as one and the same, things start to add up. Everything on a molecular level has no difference. Bonds, and atom-placement dictate what the object will be, look like and how it works- properties if you wish. I looked at vibranium and human flesh as different parts of one thing, which lead me to believe enhancing people could be done without super soldier serums.”

“That is… truly amazing, but won’t the testing period be a sadistic thing. We are not HYDRA thankfully.” As great as this was Bruce had a point here “Human experiments are not a politic the Avengers will ever lean upon. As fellow humans nonetheless.”

“I am not planning to make another Winter Soldier. I already have control over vibranium on levels outside and inside hyperspace.” You pulled out a bottle of metallic looking dust. The top unscrewed easy and you spilled the contents like heavy silvery snow all over the floor. “If I take quarks from the human body and use them to make 1 proton from the atomic nucleus, I can theoretically program it to answer to the human body using the unbroken rule of our system.”

  Bruce blinked a few times understanding exactly where you were reaching “All work in favor of the body.” He said out loud, glasses sliding off his skin

“Exactly. If they get programmed correctly the metal will work for the body, under the command of the main system- the nerves and brain. Post that success I would be able to inject them with a liquid medium directly into the bloodstream. As they make their way to all parts of the body, they will get acquainted with the cells. I want to change them so they will be susceptible to hormones as well. Basically I want to make a metal compound that reacts like organic matter. It would be able, upon will, to pile around bones, create fibers, strengthening muscles ecc. Some could even carry other substances with them, or isolate toxic ones. Now their size and ability for diapedesis is still questionable. So far I can move them at a certain extend.” You swung your hand and the dust lifted off the floor cleanly in one swoop 

“That is amazing!” Bruce pitched his voice after seeing the floating cloud “Are you using some kind of device ?”

“No, this dust was modeled after me, I am the only guinea pig so no one was harmed in the making. I have to say though, it was quite painful till I got it right.” You laughed out uneasy, scratching your arm  

“ I could only imagine, taking your own tissue for this. What else could it do?”

“Well. I know that Mr. Stark isn’t into weapons anymore, so I pitched him the enhancing technique only. The dust’s only function right now sadly is shaping.” Your fingers danced as the vibranium cloud formed Captain America’s shield, before turning into a sword. “As long as I have enough information of structure, function and the way the object works I can make it.” Your footsteps were confidant and strong.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. the window if you please.”

Certainly Miss

   The clicking sound of the metal around the glass flung the object open. Your hand reached outside and pointed towards the sky. “My uncle had a deep interest in weapons so naturally I learned as well by listening to him.” The dust wrapped around your hand and formed a Heckler Koch pistols. With the pull of the trigger you shot into the air, making Bruce jump from the sound.

“I am sorry about that, I should have warned you.” You giggled stepping in

“That is a completely functional firearm. His breath normalized as his body took him right up to you, running his hands over the gun “ This is, something I can’t even imagine.” Eyes scanning every inch of it looking like a perfect mold “How does it look so solid? Smooth, no trace of it even being made from any smaller particle. ”

“Oh that, intra-atomic pressure. Kind of like gravity times 100 or more. If I pitched this to Mr.Stark I think the selling point would have been…”your fingers gently pulled the weapon out of Dr.Banner’s hand as the vibranium flew from the outside to the magazine “ It doesn’t run out of ammo since I call it back at anytime AND once in the body I can infest it.”

“It could travel through the blood stream and form clumps in certain organs!” he gasped

“I could have gone a bit more sadistic with this one, but I will stop talking now.” You laughed out sending your project back to its jar, securely tightened up. 

“How far is your limit? I mean is there a distance at which you can’t sense the partials, any mental fatigue or physical? You are amazing! This is something out of this world truly, no wonder Tony accepted your application. I wouldn’t be able to come up with anything closely resembling…wow.” He kept praising you each time his mouth opened

“Banner.” Light and confident footsteps accompanied the familiar playboy voice inside the lab

Welcome back Sir

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. medical bay on standby please.”

As you wish Sir

“I would appreciate it if you stepped back from my new intern and helped out a bit. We have injured coming in stat.” Tony waved his hand and Bruce pulled away from you, cleaning the couch on his side “You too miss intern. No slacking off just because it’s your first day. Treat it as orientation.”

“Yes Mr. Stark.” Panic rose up inside you again as you tried to follow what Dr. Banner was doing. Injured? Were the rest of the Avengers on a mission this whole time? It didn’t matter, you were mobilized as well and for a second it felt kind of cool, like you were also an agent fighting crime. The grunts and groans pulled you back to Earth as Captain America’s large frame stepped inside.  

[harley-sunday]

10 Things I Hate About You [01]

Summary: Based on the RomCom ‘10 Things I Hate About You’ we follow the reader as she tries to win over Bucky Barnes so his best friend can finally go on a date.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (f) Steve Rogers x Maria Hill

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 4k

AN: So this is my entry for @arrowsandmixtapes​ RomCom Challenge. I’ve never really written anything for the MCU-fandom before, so just know I might have taken some creative liberties here. And although this is a reader insert, the reader does have a name (Petra) to keep in theme with the movie/play (Patrick/Petruchio) and because I hate using Y/N, even if it’s just a few times. Also, I know paring Steve & Maria is unconventional, but they’re definitely my guilty-pleasure ship :) This is the first part in what I assume to be a four-part story and I absolutely loved writing this, so please let me know what you think! ♥

Beads of sweat roll down your face at a steady pace, some of them finding their way into your eyes, making it harder for you to see. You’ve long stopped trying to blink them away. It doesn’t matter anyway, muscle memory means you know where the punching bag is even with your eyes closed. Your gloved-up hands hit the bag in a tempo that was too high from the beginning, but you’re stubborn so you keep it up even though your arms are killing you by now. The high tempo helps though, because with every hit you land you feel yourself calm down, the anger with which you entered the gym slowly subsiding. 

That’s the downside of solo-missions, you learned a long time ago, when things go wrong there’s no one to blame but yourself. 

Because even though you technically still are a part of the team, you have come to an agreement with Tony and so he doesn’t include you on the team’s missions anymore. Some of the newer recruits think it’s because you have these mood swings that nobody really knows how to deal with. Others think Tony is playing favorites, letting you go out on your own because you’ve been here for so long already. You always tell them to just ask Tony what happened in Padua a couple of years ago. The gossip usually stops when they do. 

You tell yourself ten more punches, because you’re starting to struggle for breath, but then there’s someone standing next to the bag, clearing their throat to get your attention and so you let your arms drop without too much of a struggle, part of you just relieved the workout is cut short by someone other than yourself because now you don’t have to admit defeat. 

“What did that poor punching bag ever do to you?” Maria asks with a grin, her hands on either side of the bag, stopping it from swinging around.

By now she should know you’re not one for smalltalk, so you just shrug, even though the fact that you’re still trying to catch your breath might have something to do with it as well. 

“Fine,” she lets go of the bag and lets her hands rest on her hips, her feet planted firmly on the ground, almost like she’s ready for battle. What she says next tells you she probably is, but with you instead of a shared enemy, “I need you to take Barnes.”

You just shake your head.

“Petra-”

“Maria,” you counter, still breathing heavy. You hold out your hands for her to help you out of your gloves, and watch her sigh at the task at hand, but then she loosens the Velcro and starts pulling on the leather anyway. You look up at her, “You know I don’t do partners,”

“Oh, I know,” Maria replies with wry smile, dropping your gloves on the floor once she’s pulled them off. She holds out her hands and motions for you to give her yours again, her skilled fingers finding the tape and taking it off before she starts unwrapping your hand wraps.

“Then why do you even ask?” 

She sighs, her eyes finding yours while she continues to work on your hands, “Do I really need to pull rank on this?”

“That bad?” you ask, because she’s never done this to you before. Hell, no one has ever done this to you before. 

She shrugs, “Not per se.” There’s a slight smile playing on her lips then, “Not if you just agree.” 

“Maria, I just sort of fucked up an important mission, I’m not in the mood for games." You let out a frustrated sigh and pull your hands back, your left massaging your right, trying to get some feeling back, “Just tell me what you want.”

You find her in the otherwise empty kitchen, “Natasha!” 

“Oh shit,” she mutters, mocking you by raising an eyebrow at you as she turns around, “am I in trouble?”

“Depends,” you growl, now standing next to her. She offers you the cup of coffee she’s just made and you take it with a quiet, “Thank you,” until you remember why you’re here. “What-” you start, but then think better of it, “How-” no still not what you were going for. “Why did you-”

“Come on, use your words,” she grins, taking a sip of her coffee, casually leaning against the counter now because you are sure she already knows why you’re here.

“What is this about Steve not being allowed to date until Barnes does?” 

“Oh, that.”

“Yeah, that,” you echo. “I just had Maria Hill come up to me because she wants to ask Steve out on a date but can't until she finds someone who takes Barnes out on a date first.” 

Nat laughs, nodding her head, “Yeah, that is the deal.”

“But why?”

She shrugs, “I don’t want Rogers to get hurt. I know all the new recruits are lusting after him, but he needs someone who’s interested in him, you know, not just in this perfect specimen of a human being they think Captain America is.”

“And he agreed with that?”

“Who, Steve?” She grins, “Steve likes it when someone else takes the decisions every now and then. So he was more than happy to.”

“I guess Hill is the perfect candidate then,” you agree before taking a sip of your coffee.

“Yeah,” Nat agrees.

“So why don’t you just let her ask him out?” You reach for the sugar that’s on the counter next to the coffee machine because fuck Nat makes a strong cup of coffee. “Why does Barnes still need to be included in this narrative? I feel like I’m in ‘The Taming of the Shrew’.”

She throws you a poignant look, “Because Bucky will never get to go on date otherwise.” A sigh then. “Everyone thinks he’s this bad-tempered assassin you shouldn't go near unless you have a deathwish, but he really is a good guy.”

“Natasha,” you coo, bumping your shoulder into hers, “is that sympathy I hear?”

“I know him from way back,” she admits easily. “He deserves someone who can see past his tough exterior and appreciate him for what he really is.”

“And apparently that’s me,” you say with a shrug.

“Yeah, about that,” she says, putting her now empty cup back on the counter, “how did Hill get you to agree anyway? Did she offer you money?” She gently shoves you then, “Or does she have a dirty little secret she threatened to expose if you didn’t go along with her plan?”

You just shake your head, not really wanting to share this with Natasha, but knowing all too well she’ll never drop it unless you tell her, and so you almost whisper when you finally admit, “She pulled rank on me. Said to look at it like it was a mission.”

“She did what?” Nat’s laughing now, punching your upper arm. “She pulled-”

“-rank on me so I’d take Barnes out on a date?” You nod, “Yeah, she did. Offered to foot the date night bill because as she said, that seems like the fair thing to do.” 

“Well, good for her.” 

You find him in the gym, just like Maria said you would. Once you agreed to do this she gave you a rundown of his schedule, telling you exactly where you could find him at which time of day. What she didn’t tell you, however, was what you should talk to him about and so here you are, having found him, but not knowing how to start up a conversation. You decide to go with a good old, “Hi.” 

He doesn’t even look up when he answers with a low, “Hey,” instead keeping his attention on the target he’s throwing his knives at.

Taking a better look at the cut-out figure that’s taped to a dummy hanging from the ceiling you realize the outline reminds you of the Iron Man suit and you wonder what Tony ever did to piss Barnes off so much that he’s now using him for target practice. The dummy’s at least thirty feet away but every knife he throws goes in effortlessly, all hitting center target. If this whole ‘bad-tempered assassin’ thing really is just an act, you think, well then at least he’s very dedicated to the cause.

“Barnes?” He doesn’t reply but you continue anyway, “Nat says I have to improve my hand-to-hand combat skills and I figured you might be able to help me out.” Nat never said such a thing, but you figured it’s a good excuse as to why you’re here.

He doesn’t reply, keeps on throwing knives instead and it’s then you realize you haven’t actually asked a question yet and so you add, “Would you be able to teach me?”

“Able?” he echoes, “Yes.”

“Ok,” you draw out, not sure what his angle is. “And willing?”

He throws the last knife, but its blade hits the handle of one of the other knives and so it bounces back, landing tip first, wedging itself firmly in between two floor boards. You expect him to curse, or get mad, but instead he just turns to you and shrugs, “Sure.” 

“Eh, ok,” you reply with a surprised smile. “When can we start?”  

“Well, I doubt you have the same adversity against Stark as I do,” he says with a nod towards the dummy, “so why don’t you spend a day or two making some targets of your own and we’ll meet here on Thursday? Two o’clock?”

This is the most you’ve heard him say, maybe ever, so for a moment you’re too shocked to reply, but then he’s looking at you like you’re losing it and so you scramble to find your words, nothing but a “Sure,” coming out.

He nods and walks away and you can swear you can see the hint of a smile tugging on his lips when he turns around and looks back at you over his shoulder before he walks into the locker room. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Making a target,” you mumble, not looking up from the absolute work of art you’re creating. If you may say so yourself, of course.

“Huh,” Nat replies, and you see her cross her arms in front of her chest out of the corner of your eye. 

“Oh and by the way,” you say, dipping your brush into the yellow paint again, “you want me to improve my hand-to-hand combat skills in case anyone asks.”

“Ok,” she draws out slowly, taking a few steps so she’s standing behind you, no doubt eyeing the target you’re working on. 

“I needed an in,” you explain.

“Sure,” she agrees. 

You look up, because she seems distracted, and find her looking down at you with a worried look. “Nat, it’s fine,” you’re quickly to assure her, “it worked.”

“That’s not,” she starts, but then she seems to change her mind. She nods towards the table, “What the hell did Big Bird ever do to you that you’re now going to use him in target practice?”

“Alright, so remember,” he says as he puts his hands on your hips and makes you turn ever so slightly so you’re not facing the target head-on but rather at an angle, “hold the blade when you throw the knife.” 

“Yes, sir,” you say, not even mocking him, just the years of training kicking in. For a moment you wonder who would even outrank who between the two of you, figuring it’s probably him. He’s got more years in the field of course, so he’d definitely hold the higher rank if you were to go by experience alone. 

Shaking your head you try to focus on the task at hand, and you roll your shoulders back so you’re standing a little more upright. It’s like you can hear every teacher you’ve ever had screaming at you in unison, “Posture, Petra!” because more than once people have told you you tend to slouch.   

You go over everything he’s told you so far, from holding the blade when you throw to finding the balance point of each individual knife before you even think about throwing it. You feel sort of ready but at the same time you worry you’re going to fail miserably. You rely on guns and explosive devices to help you on your missions, not hand-to-hand battle. 

“Ok,” he lets go of your hips and steps aside, “whenever you’re ready.”

The knife you’re holding seems old, beaten up by years of use, and you wonder if this is the knife he went to war with. It is amazingly balanced and when you grab the tip of the blade between your thumb and index finger the handle rests on your hand comfortably. Taking a deep breath you focus on the target, only ten feet away this time because you convinced him to take it slow. 

By the way, if he was surprised your targets are all characters from Sesame Street he definitely didn’t show it and you’re thankful for that. No need to share that childhood trauma just yet, you decide, worried he’ll just make fun of you when you tell him those puppets used to scare you shitless when you were a kid.

You raise your arm then, your muscles only tensing up after a second or so when your mind makes the decision to make the throw. The knife flips through the air at an incredible speed and lands blade-first in the target, one ring off center. 

He lets out a low whistle somewhere next to you. “Nice,”

“Thank you,” you reply with a smile, surprised at your own capabilities. 

“Alright,” he says, walking over to the target and moving it back a little before he pulls the knife out, “let’s try that again.”

He has you walking around the compound with a plastic knife almost 24/7, showing you some tricks at the end of the first lesson and telling you to master them by lesson number two or he will stop teaching you. And so here you are, flipping around a fake knife, letting it twist and turn between your fingers, ever so often throwing it up in the air, trying to catch it while you change position, trying to predict where the handle will be once it lands in your hand. 

Thank God he gave you a plastic one or you'd be a few fingers short by now.

The next lesson is scheduled for Monday, after you both agreed one lesson a week wouldn't be enough to get you into shape. And while the knife throwing was fun, and you were surprisingly good at it, it's the actual hand-to-hand combat you're most looking forward to. You’ve seen him in action only once, on some footage Tony showed you, but you remember being in awe of his skills.

By Sunday you have mastered most of the tricks he’s showed you, except one, where you’re holding the knife in your right hand while blocking an invisible attacker with your left. During the block you’re supposed to throw the knife up, while at the same time retracting the arm you’re blocking with, only to catch the knife again with your right hand, but at the same height where your left arm was before.

You just can’t get it right. Either you use too much force so the knife is too high up for you to catch or you forget to retract your arm so the knife bounces against it and falls to the floor. You’ve gone from quietly cursing to cursing out loud, growing more and more frustrated by the hour. You’re glad the team’s away on a mission this weekend, so it's just you and some of the newer recruits left in the tower. They have their quarters on the lower levels and absolutely no reason to be up on your floor so you doubt they’ve heard you. 

Taking a deep breath you decide to give it one last try, but just as you want to throw the knife you hear the Quinjet coming in and so you’re distracted and mess up. You let out a frustrated groan, grab the knife off the floor and make your way to your room, not really in the mood to see anyone else. 

“Alright, show me.” 

It’s the first thing he’s said to you since you entered the gym a minute or so ago and so you quietly mutter, “Yeah fine, thanks. How are you? Sleep well?”

“How I sleep is none of your concern,” he grunts.

A bit taken aback by the tone in his voice you throw him a look. He seems unfazed by it, instead raising his eyebrows to let you know he’s waiting. You huff at whatever is going on and grab your knife, the plastic one, of course, and start the sequence you now know by heart.

You’re not sure what happens, maybe you’re too distracted by the mood he seems to be in, or maybe you just didn’t take enough time to focus on the task at hand, but fact is you blow every single trick. Not one of them goes as it should. If you were anyone else right now you’d be secondhand embarrassed. 

Just as you bend down to pick up the knife from the ground you see him turn and walk away out of the corner of your eye. Standing up you call out to him, “Barnes?”

Of course he doesn’t respond and you figure, fine. Whatever. Fuck him and his attitude. You’re not going to need knife skills anyway. At least this means you’ll have the rest of the afternoon off. But then you remember that you’re not here to improve your knife skills, not really anyway. You’re here to help Hill get a date with Steve and so you let out a frustrated groan, drop the knife, and set out in a jog to catch up with him.

“Barnes,” you say, coming to a stop in front of him and putting a hand on his chest to get him to listen to you. Well fuck me, you think when you feel his hard muscles against your fingertips, you knew the guy was muscular from the way his clothes stretch around his torso, but to actually feel it is something else. You’re distracted for a moment but then you look up and find him looking down at you with a hint of a smile playing around his lips.

“I uh,” you clear your throat and pull back your hand, “I can do better than that. I promise.”

The smile drops and he actually sighs. “You don’t get a second chance in direct combat.”

“This isn’t direct combat,” you counter, starting to get annoyed. “This is me doing knife tricks. By myself. With a plastic fucking knife.”

“To prepare you for direct combat,” he replies, arms now crossed in front of his chest. “That’s what you wanted right? To be better prepared? Improve your skills?. 

“Yeah, ok, fine.” you agree halfheartedly. “But unless you decide to attack me right now, there’s no direct combat in my foreseeable future. So, you know, can I least get a second chance?” A tilt of your head then, “I mean, that’s part of improving my skills, isn’t it? Doing something over and over and over again until I get it right?”

He actually looks a little defeated but impressed at the same time and you wonder if it is because people usually avoid confrontation with him because they're afraid of what he might do. He nods then, “Ok. Let’s go.” 

He follows you back to the mat and this time you do focus, allowing yourself a few seconds to clear your mind from any distractions. The knife rests comfortably on your hand and after a quick countdown in your head you start. You nail trick after trick but when you get to the last one, the one you haven’t been able to master yet, you start to feel nervous and so of course you fail.

“Nice,” he compliments from somewhere on your right, his tone of voice now very different from  before. You wonder what brought that on, it can’t just be your knife skills, right?

“That last one always gets me,” you admit, letting out a frustrated sigh then.

“That’s because you think about it too much,” he offers.

“No shit, Sherlock,” you mutter quietly, sitting down on the mat to catch your breath. You hear him rummage through his bag and don’t look up until he’s standing in front of you, holding out something that definitely isn’t made from plastic.

“Try this.”

You scoff, “You want me to try with a real knife?” Shaking your head then, “You better have a first-aid kit in that bag too then.” 

“Come on,” he holds out his hand, hoisting you to your feet once you take it. “Just try it.” 

Taking the knife from him you carefully place it on the tip of your index finger, trying to find its balance point. It’s not where you expect it to be, the blade almost weighing as much as the handle and the balance point not far off center. Interesting. You throw the knife in the air to see what it does, surprised when it falls back down blade first. Huh. 

“This might work,” you say, turning to him. You do a double take then, because is that admiration you see in his eyes? Weird.

“Go for it,” he says with a nod of his head, taking a step back to let you have your space.

Planting your feet firmly on the mat you take position, left arm straight out in front of you. A deep breath then, tightening the grip on the handle of the knife before you throw it, retract your arm, and catch it again. “Oh my God!”

“Yes!” he exclaims. “I knew you could do it!”

“Oh my God,” you say again, panting a little now from the excitement, “that was awesome!”

He lets you keep the knife. Tells you to keep practicing everything you’ve learned so far and so you do, ignoring the looks you get from everyone else whenever they see you entering a room while throwing a knife around. Strangely enough most of them are smiling, like they’re all in on this little secret you know nothing about. You decide to ignore them.

Maria finds you and your new arts and crafts project in the common room Wednesday evening. Bucky’s told you to make new targets, but smaller this time, so you opted to go with cutouts of the Muppets. Ignoring the one you’re working on now, of Kermit the Frog with a target painted on his head, Maria sits down next to you, “Hey,”

“Hi,” you reply without looking up, too focused on finishing the smallest circle.

“I was just uh,” Maria says, her voice just above a whisper even though the common room is empty except for her and you, “I need a mission update, I guess.” 

You let out a laugh, “Please don’t make this awkward.”

“Any more than it already is?” she counters with a grin.

“Yeah, ok, fair point.” You wipe your brush on an old cloth and set it aside, admiring your handy work.

“So?”

“So, he’s teaching me hand-to-hand combat twice a week,” you start, nodding towards the targets on the table. “I’d say it’s going well.” 

“Right.”

“I can’t force this, Maria,” you say almost apologetically, “we’re not two giant pandas, you know? You can’t just put us together and expect us to mate.”

“That’s not,” she all but sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I know, ok? If you could maybe, step it up just a little?”

She must really like Steve, you figure, if she’s getting impatient after just a week. So you agree, “Ok,” gently patting her arm you try to reassure her, “I’ll see what I can do.”

[agent13thepretender]

Accidentally deleted my fanfic preview lol

I accidentally deleted my fan fic preview so here it is again. I am almost done with the story, however and will probably post in on AO3 and FanFiction.net. Please give me some feedback, especially with characterization. Obviously everyone has their own perception of different character and this is mine. Enjoy!

Fandom: MCU (Irondad and Spiderson)

Title: Home Videos

Summary: Peter has a dream where he’s in a movie theatre watching Uncle Ben’s home video of the day he was born. As he watches, a familiar voice announces himself and Peter Parker finds Tony Stark smiling in the seat next to him.

                                                             o0o

 Peter Parker found himself sitting in a soft, red plush chair, facing a black screen partially covered in red velvet curtains. He could see a few rows of matching red seats scaling down in front of him, all empty. Turning, Peter saw the seats rising behind him were also empty. The small projector window above glowing faintly. He sat back in his seat, brows furrowed. He was in an older movie theatre, completely empty, with non-reclining seats and yellowed lights. Peter could see patches of discoloration on the red fabric-covered walls and the chipping back paint of the handrails. 

    The lights began to dim into a soft glow as the curtains slowly pulled back. With a quiet click, the black screen illuminated into a stunning white that made Peter’s eyes squint to adjust to the sudden brightness. He was relieved when the screen became gray static and a gentle buzz filled the auditorium. A loud, dull click sounded and the screen became a scene of blurry green trees. The image was shaky and glitched slightly. There was a digital time tag at the bottom right corner that read:  August 10,  2001.

    “Is this thing on?” A soft but gruff voice mumbled close to the camera. Peter felt his heart twinge in his chest at the instantly familiar voice. The camera moved sharply and the screen was filled with a middle-aged man with brown hair and brown eyes behind red-rimmed glasses. Ben Parker was gazing at the camera with eyebrows creased closely together. 

“The red lights on, it’s recording.” Another man called off-camera. 

“Oh!” Ben said before grinning and making a few funny faces at the camera that made Peter smile. 

“Ben, you’re gonna break the lens with that mug of yours.” The other man sounded closer and Peter recognized it as well. The camera moved to confirm that it was his father, Richard Parker. He was standing with his hands on his hips, squinting in the late summer sun. He was smiling brightly as the breeze swept through his curly brown hair.

Peter heard Ben scoff behind the camera. “Your mug ain’t much better.” Ben shot back. The camera rotated and Ben’s face was captured in an unflattering angle. “Let’s hope my niece takes after Mary.” He loud whispered into the camera. 

The camera quickly readjusted back to Richard who gave Ben an unimpressed look. Ben snorted as he zoomed in to Richard’s face. Peter found himself chuckling with him.

“Are you done? Or do you want to wait another nine months to meet my kid?” Richard asked with fake annoyance. The camera was still zoomed in to his face and caught the small smile at the end. 

“Yeah, yeah, lemme just shut this off.” Ben’s voice trailed off. 

The clip soon cut off to the footage of Richard walking in a hospital hallway. “Nervous, Ricky?” Ben asked calmly.

Richard turned to the camera and smiled shyly. “Maybe.” He confessed.

“Why?” Ben’s voice was hushed but sincere.

Richard stopped and stood in front of his brother, disregarding the camera. “‘Cause it’s a kid! They’re super fragile, get sick a lot and about a billion things can go wrong.” Richard whispered. “I don’t have a degree for this.”

Ben hummed thoughtfully. “I hear girls are even more difficult. Good luck, Doc.”  Ben chuckled at the glare Richard was throwing at him.

“What’s all this about a girl?” A low voice announced. Peter’s head whipped to the seat next to him. The young boy’s heart clenched painfully in his chest, his throat closing tightly at the sight of the person seated next to him.

 All that could escape Peter was a pained gasp of surprise.“Mr. Stark?”

Tony Stark turned to look at the boy with a broad grin and a bucket of popcorn in his arms. His dark eyes shining behind a pair of old school red and blue 3-D glasses. “Hey, kid!” Tony greeted Peter, just as he always did. 

Peter’s eyes were wide with disbelief but they quickly turned red and glossy. The crushing waves of grief made Peter double over his seat, gasping fast and shaky breaths. Tony sprung forward in alarm and placed a familiar heavy hand on the boy’s back.

“Hey, hey! Its ok, kid!” Tony exclaimed, tossing the popcorn away. He got out of his seat and crouched down next to Peter while expertly rubbing circles on his back. “Shoot, maybe surprising you like that was a bad idea.” He mumbled.

Peter’s body was shaking with the sudden and intense emotion. He took shuddering breaths to try to calm himself down. He concentrated on how real and warm the hand on his back felt.

“It’s ok, Peter,” Tony said softly, a tinge of sadness washed over his voice. 

Peter gathered himself with deep breaths and turned to his former mentor, the hand never leaving his back. He still couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Tony removed the 3-D glasses without turning away from the boy. His eyes were dark and warm just as Peter remembered them. 

He turned away to rub his face. “This is a dream, just another dream.” He mumbled to himself.

Tony quirked his head a bit. “Another dream?” 

Peter sighed. “Yeah, that’s all this is. I’m aware now so I’m probably going to wake up soon.” He said in distress. 

Tony shook his head. “This isn’t a dream, kid. At least not a normal one.” Peter looked at Tony skeptically and received a sympathetic expression in return. “I’m actually here.” 

“How!? How are you possibly here!” Peter cried. Tears finally fell down his face as he stared at the uninjured face of his dead mentor. “If this isn’t a dream, is this an illusion? A hologram? Beck’s dead so I don’t think that could be it.” 

“Pete,” Tony cut him off. “This is none of that stuff. To put it simply, I guess you could call this a Limbo of sorts.”

“Limbo?” Peter said, alarmed. “Am I dead?” 

Tony chuckled slightly as he shook his head, patting Peter on the shoulder. “No, you’re not, kid. Jeez.” 

Peter stared at Tony’s smiling face. There was some sadness in his eyes but no shadows or bags of exhaustion under them. His face was relaxed instead of the tension that was frequently lined on his brow. He looked younger, at peace. 

Sighing, Tony sat back in his seat. “We’re essentially in a pocket of reality where I, a ghost, can Jacob Marley one person,” Tony explained. “It’s like an I.O.U from the universe since I literally saved it.” 

Peter nodded his head, mulling it over in his brain. “You’re here ‘cause you used the Infinity Stones.” He concluded.

“Basically.” 

“You’re really here? With me? In my mind?” 

“Triple affirmative.”

“Why?” Peter asked softly, confused.

Tony shrugged casually, an amused smirk on his lips. “Because I wanted to see you.” 

“Are you going to see Pepper or Morgan?” 

Tony took a breath, his face was momentarily stricken at the mention of his wife and daughter. “No. I can only do this once.”

Peter’s eyebrows rose in alarm. “Shouldn’t you be doing this with Morgan? She’s your daughter, I’m sure she’d want to see you. To talk to you again.” Peter pleaded. “Or Pepper! She was the last person to talk to you. They miss you, they need you!”

“The one who needs me most right now is you, Peter,” Tony stated with conviction, his hand landing firmly on the young boy’s shoulder. “And you’re the one I wanted to see most, too.” 

The boy stared at him in confusion, his brown eyes still shiny from tears. “Me? But, but why I’m not…”

“Family?” Tony finished. Peter stared at the older man, his lips drawn tightly in a straight line as more tears spilled from his eyes. Tony stared back at the boy, sniffing slightly as his own emotions were bubbling forward. He knew this would be the last time he would ever talk to Peter like this. Every emotion and instinct he restrained when he was alive had been his greatest regrets. “Yes, you are, kid.” 

[the--sad--hatter]

Name Calling (26)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  In which the ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on how much you would enjoy it.

Current Word Count -  74,382

Chapter Twenty Six - The Cat's Out Of The Bag

The Avengers were gathered in a meeting room in the tower, waiting on Ross. The mood was sombre. Their friend had just been dragged away to be put only god knows where and they hadn’t had the chance to explain to her why there was a video of her killing and nearly dying that existed to be leaked online in the first place.

“Who leaked that footage?” Sam asked the question they were all wondering.

“Docherty. He has to have been watching her, or having people do it for him more accurately.” Steve guessed.

“Why leak it today? Why now?” Rhodey enquired.

“She’s his Vernichtung, his little world ender. Having her being hailed as a hero must have pissed him off.” Tony said wearily.

“This is good. We’ve been looking for a way to get to him for a long time and we had nothing. Now he’s shown a weakness, something we can exploit. The angrier we make him, the more likely he is to make a mistake.” Natasha reasoned.

“First we have to get my little girl out of Ross’s clutches. I don’t trust him any more than I do Docherty.” Tony snapped.

“He’s right. Ross has been trying to get his hands on The Hulk for a long time, god knows what he’ll do with Vernichtung.” Bruce agreed.

“The X-Men said they would gave her sanctuary but that only works as long as nobody knows she’s with them. They won’t help break her out. The Avengers can’t be seen doing it either. I’ll have to take the fall for this, I’ll take her and we can go into hiding. Cap can you contact T’Challa? See if he can help?” Tony asked, pacing as he made plans.

“I’ll think we should take a page out of Romanov’s book and fight Docherty with his own tactics.” Bucky spoke up for the first time.

“That’s not a bad idea. It’ll push Ross into a corner and put Docherty off his game at the same time.” Steve mused.

“Plus it will put Docherty’s face on the map. It’ll be much harder fro him to hide.” Natasha added.

“For those of us not following?” Sam probed.

“The Vernichtung Files. We release them.” Bucky said.

“That’s the worst idea I’ve heard all day.” Rhodey stated.

“You want to expose Kit Kat to the world like that? No.” Tony said firmly.

“Tony the whole world knows what she can do and who she is. So let’s show them how much she’s endured and how many times she said no to using that power to hurt anyone.” Natasha said diplomatically.

“She’s a hero, we all know it. It’s time the world did as well.” Steve added.

Everyone but Tony and Rhodey looked convinced. Tony looked frazzled and torn but before he could press further, Secretary Ross came sweeping into the room.

“Where the hell is my kid Ross? You have no right to take her away like that, she gets to have a lawyer. As her father, her next of kin I demand to know where she is.” Tony insisted.

“You aren’t in a position to be making demands, any of you. You harboured an unregistered powered person and took them on active missions. If a fraction of what is on that footage turns out to be true, you’ve been sitting on the human equivalent of a nuclear bomb.” Ross said, his voice dripping with unbearable smugness.  

“Then slap me on the wrists, put me in the naughty corner, prosecute me if you like. I don’t give a damn. I want to know where my daughter is.” Tony yelled.

“Oh there will be ramifications, for everyone. The UN will not let this slide.”

“You mean there will be ramifications for Stark and myself.” Bucky spoke up,

“I beg your pardon Mr Barnes?”

“There’s nothing on that video to suggest any other member of The Avengers knew about her. Matter of fact, Tony didn’t arrive until after. Maybe he didn’t know either.” Bucky said smoothly.

Ross’s jaw worked furiously as he tried to catch up to what Bucky was implying.

“The only person you can say with absolute certainty knew about Miss Starks abilities was me.” He continued.

“That’s not going to look good for anybody. Prosecuting a man you only recently pardoned. I’d hate to be you in that scenario.” Natasha said, catching on.

“Oh no, you can not spin this to your advantage. You really think you’re going to get away with this? The evidence speaks for itself.” Ross sneered.

“Speaking of evidence...” Dr Banner spoke and everybody turned to look at him. He smiled softly with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Were you aware that Benjamin Newlands was creating a deadly virus to unleash on a well populated country? Doesn’t he have an uncle on the UN council?” Bruce continued.

“He does, his father in law sits on the council as well.” Natasha added.

“In case you were wondering, yes we do have evidence. Irrefutable in fact. There’s a witness who worked on the virus, a paper trail showing Mr Newlands plans for after the virus was unleashed and a sample of the virus itself.” Bruce concluded.

“And you want to know the kicker Ross, the final damning fact? It was ‘deathwave’ who infiltrated Newlands home, destroyed the facility and obtained the virus so a cure could be synthesized.” Natasha said, hitting the final nail into the coffin.

“So you currently have the hero who discovered a traitor in the UN in your custody.” Steve summarised.

Secretary Ross had gone pale. They had him over a barrel and he knew it.

“It’s a good thing you decided to utilise a valuable asset to weed out the traitor and saved millions of lives in the process. Of course you had to hold off on having Miss Stark signing the accords, this whole sting operation only worked so long as nobody knew who she was. This was well played Sir.” Rhodey said diplomatically.

They all held their breath while they waited to see if the Secretary Of State would take the bait. He could take the messy path and throw her into a cell despite the backlash he would receive or he could go along with the plan they had just laid out. Turn her into the hero who saved the Accords from being tainted by War Crimes and Genocide.

“Before you say anything else Secretary Ross, there’s something you should see.” Natasha said.

Everyone looked at Tony and after a long moment he nodded.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Breaking News! More details on the story of ‘Deathwave’, Tony Stark’s illegitimate daughter have come to light.” The news anchor announced.

“Well the cat is well and truly out of the bag now.” Rhodey remarked.

“We made the right move, now that crowd outside who already think she’s a hero is going to grow exponentially. Show people footage of a scared little girl standing up to a bully and then have The Secretary Of State announce she was secretly working for them to single handedly take down a madman who wanted to kill millions and by this time tomorrow the whole world is going to love The Newest Avenger.” Clint said.

“We made her The Media Darling and Dr Jack Docherty public enemy number one in one fell swoop. I’d call that a win.”

“Yeah, now all we have to do is find a way to explain to her why she doesn’t remember killing 200 people or being shot in the heart.” Sam snapped bitterly.

Bucky had had enough of listening to them all congratulate themselves and bicker. It was going to be a lot to process for her and forgiveness for all they had done wouldn’t come easily. Everytime he got somewhere with her something got in the way and he was sick of it.

Would this be the final straw? Would she give up on him, on them? Would she go back to hating him?

“WHO WAS IT?” Tony yelled, storming into the room.

“Wasn’t me.” Clint said immediately.

“Who was what Tony?” Steve asked calmly.

“Ross just called his men to have her released and brought back here. Only he can’t do that because someone broke her out of custody.”

His revelation was met with silence.

“Nobody wants to fess up?” Tony pressed, slightly urgently.

Nobody spoke up and a chill ran up Bucky’s spine. If none of them had broke her out, then who had?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You slowly roused from a deep sleep. The last thing you remembered was a lot of screaming, a klaxon blaring and a flash of red. You shot up into a sitting position, taking in your surrounding rapidly.

You were on a tatty sofa, springs digging into you. The room was musty and well lived in to put it politely. The door was kicked open loudly and your kidnapper/saviour came literally skipping into the room.

“GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!”

The defensive stance you sprung into was instinctual but the red spandex clad figure ignored it and held out something to you.

“Chimichanga?”

“Who the hell are you?” You snarled at him.

“I’m Deadpool sweetcheeks, and you should really already know that but the author really wanted me to say it out loud so there was no confusion for the readers so I’ll let it slide.” He announced tearing open the foil wrapped Chimichanga and taking an obscenely huge bite.

“Alright Deadpool, did you rescue me or kidnap me?” You enquired.

“Technically both Princess Peach. Ooooh, that’s what I’ll call you from now on since I’m not allowed to say your name.”

“Alright… what?” You were utterly lost.

“Quick note. The last person to rescue you adopted you so by those rules, you have to call me daddy. Or Daddypool.”

“I am not calling you Daddy.” You insisted with a confused grimace.

“Daddypool it is.” He said, clapping his hands together in excitement.

He leapt onto the couch you’d woken up on and struck a heroic pose.

“Now let’s end this chapter so everyone can mentally prepare themselves for the upcoming grand adventures of the dynamic duo…. Princess Peach and Daddypool!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Short but important chapter... I really really hope you like this. It's a creative gamble on my part. Please like it!!! *sweats nervously*

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@chook007@thejourneyneverendsx@thelostallycat@inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher@kendrawr-kitkat@phoenix-whiskey-tears @the–real-wombat@buckitybarnes@fairislesheets@angieptt@meganjonezzzz

@dugan365 @fluffeh-kitty@memanda17@krystallynx@theonelittleone

@piscesbarnes @free-as-fishes@tarastudiesalot@captainamericasbeard

[uselessnocturnal]

promises we’ve made

parkner | orpheus and eurydice au | chapter one | underneath his wing

summary; a parkner au of hadestown and the myth of orpheus and eurydice

“How far would you go for Harley?”

"To the end of time.” Peter says firmly, gripping his mask in one hand, “to the end of the universe.”

"It’s no spaceship,” Tony warns him, “Getting to Thanos is not an easy path – not for the sensitive of souls”

He pauses. "So do you really wanna go?”

"With all my heart.”

Tony regards him. “Well, that’s a start.”

-

chapter summary; 

“Hermes? Like the Greek god?”

“Shhh,” he raises a finger to his lips and leans in slightly, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, “I’m incognito. Call me Tony. Tony Stark.”

“A god called Tony?” Peter asks sceptically, as though that’s the weirdest thing he’s seen today.

Tony draws back in mock offence, “Yeah, shut up kid.”

notes; I've planned every chapter for except the last cos I still don't know how it will end oops. Inspiration from Hadestown and also some Percy Jackson because that series was the foundation for all my Greek mythology knowledge. It's my first mcu fic that I've /actually/ written and first parkner fic. Let me know if you have any questions because this universe is probably a bit confusing cos I have merged...everything.

read here on ao3!

---

As many Greek tales begin, this one starts with a god and a mortal. And, as many Greek tales do, it ends with tragedy. Still, there is always the slightest belief that perhaps this time, this time the story might just turn out differently.

Hermes spends a lot of his time in the mortal realm. As the god of messages and travelling, Zeus doesn’t even know how busy he is - what with all the up and coming technology and developments and aliens!His immortal life just got a whole lot more interesting.

Even so, he only ever watches them as they scurry about their fleeting lives - some search for meaning, some scrambling to leaving a mark on their world - really, it is fascinating. And yet, rarely does he interact with them.

To be fair, few believe the gods of Ancient Greece actually exist anymore. Demigod children and rare and far apart (he’s not quite sure how Zeus has managed to keep it in his pants - it’s almost impressive) and have practically died out. They had sworn an oath to no longer consort with mortals but really, when has a little thing like consequences ever bothered the gods?

No. Hermes tries not to interfere with mortal lives. More often than not, the gods’ involvement only ends in doom. Still, he’s only one god whose impulse control is his father’s threats and in the past century or so, he’s been involved with two mortal lives: once was an accident and the other by choice. And somehow, by a strange twist of fate, these two lives collide.

Ultimately, it’s their story that’s being told.

It mostly starts when he meets Peter Parker.

He’d watched the boy for a while now. Never before had he seen someone so well-intentioned and pure of heart and so, so willing to throw himself into all sorts of unnecessary danger. Hermes isn’t one to get attached (mortals die too quickly and too easily) but he can feel the fondness growing for the boy and he did not want to see him die if he could do anything about it.

You see, Peter Parker was also Queens’ friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man. And every night he dresses up in red and blue pyjamas and goes out stopping petty crime in his city. It’s rather noble, Hermes decides, though if the kid could try his best not to get shot and fix himself up on his fire escape in the middle of the night, it would do wonders for Hermes’ immortal heart.  

For all the oaths they’ve sworn about not having any more demigod children blah blah blah, not once has Zeus said anything about just…talking – maybe mentoring? – a random mortal. Of course, Hermes is going to take advantage of the loophole and chooses to do something about Peter Parker. Technically he’s not breaking any rules.

And so, Hermes starts to scheme.

It’s been a while since he talked to a mortal so obviously, he needs to make sure he doesn’t come across as a crazy person. Turns out, he’s not a huge fan of planning and decides to turn up outside the door of the Parker residence the next day.

He takes the form of a mortal – wears a business suit, a funky pair of orange-tinted sunglasses, throws on an odd goatee he must’ve seen on a poster and gives himself a moment to adjust to the vulnerability and smallness of a human (he’s so short this is ridiculous!).

He still doesn’t have a plan.

He’s a god, he doesn’t need that. The kid’s a mere fifteen years old – a complete baby! – and Hermes is just here to provide some extra protection.

Really though, all he did was find all the tech Peter might need to make a new-and-improved-not-just-cotton Spidey suit and shove it into a purple paper gift bag.

The door flies open.

Hermes hasn’t even rung the bell.

Peter stands in the doorway, eyes alert like he’s expecting some sort of attack. Hermes tries not to show his surprise and hopes that the wings on his shoes don’t make an appearance because that would be incredibly difficult to explain.

The two stare at each other for a while.

“Uh…who are you?”

Hermes opens his mouth to answer when Peter’s gaze drops and fixates on Hermes’ shoes. Or more specifically, the wings that seem to have taken a mind of their own and flutter nervously by his ankles.

His mouth drops open almost comically. “Hermes? Like the Greek god?”

Now, Hermes is stunned. How the kid’s perceptiveness slipped his notice he has no idea. He tries not to flinch at the use of his godly name, straightens up and pulls a smirk onto his face.

“Shhh,” he raises a finger to his lips and leans in slightly, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, “I’m incognito. Call me Tony. Tony Stark.”

“A god called Tony?” Peter asks sceptically, as though that’s the weirdest thing he’s seen today.

HermesTony draws back in mock offence, “Yeah, shut up kid.”

Peter’s eyebrows are drawn together in confusion but he nods slowly.

“What are you doing here, Mr Herm- Mr Stark?”

“I want to discuss something with you.”

When Peter doesn’t make a move to bring Tony in and perhaps give them some form of secrecy, Tony rolls his eyes and juts a thumb into the flat, “Private matters. Of the arachnid sort.”

Peter’s eyes widen and he practically drags Tony – he is a god! – into the flat.

“What are you talking about?” Peter hisses, suddenly on the alert again.

“Look, kid. I’ve seen what you can do and I’m not gonna stop you. Nor am I going to out you. I do think you’re doing good.”

As Peter flushes slightly at the praise, Tony ploughs on, “But then again, I don’t want you dying anytime soon so I’ve found some tech that you can use to make a suit that can protect you better than those pyjamas.”

He holds up a hand to stop Peter’s protests, “I know you have the skill to make your own stuff – I’ve seen your webshooters in action – this is just for your own safety.”

By the gods he sounds like a mother. He’s known of this kid for a couple months and he’s already attached. There’s no way this will end well.

He lets his hand fall, allowing the kid to speak. “Well, questions?”

“This is amazing Mr Stark! Thank you! But…” Peter starts, slowing his tone, “when you say found the tech did you mean…steal from Hephaestus?”

Tony splutters indignantly because no, he had actually asked nicely! but when he sees Peter stifling his laughter, he lets his lips quirk up in the smallest of smiles.

“You’re gonna be the death of me kid.”

[hymn2000]

Where The Darkness Ends - MCU AU fanfic - C2

Story summary: The concept of having a baby has been more of an idea for a long time now. Ideal candidates for a three-person baby, Loki and Tony have finally, after many Peter-based setbacks and challenges, got to the point of being tested. Now, they just have to wait for the results before they can move on to the next stage.

Previous Chapter(s): 1

Part of my Frostiron and Spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: family stuff, mental health stuff, hurt/comfort, hospital/medical stuff, fertility stuff, IVF, potentially some medical inaccuracies 

You can also find me on AO3

Chapter 2 - Curtains

-

Peter tried his luck again the next morning, He knew he hadn’t been allowed to go to the clinic at all so far, but he thought it was worth another shot. He whinged and whined and bargained for all he was worth, but his parents didn’t change their minds.

“Peter, stop” Tony said. “You know the answer is no, and it’s not going to change, not even if you whine until you’re blue in the face. You need to go to school”

“Yes, listen to your father, Peter” Loki said. “We’ll fill you in on everything you need to know tonight. Now finish your tea and go and get dressed”

Peter sighed in an exaggerated fashion. “Fine, but I’m definitely coming to the twelve week scan, even if it’s a school day”

“Go and get dressed, chick” Tony said.

“Promise me first!”

“Ok, I promise. Now go and get your uniform on!”

-

Peter and Tony chatted baby talk in the car on the way to school.

“-Oh yeah, and I’ve been reading all these Buzzfeed posts about parenting and parenting hacks and kid hacks and stuff. You know, I came across stuff you and daddy do as well. Have you been Buzzfeeding?”

Tony laughed slightly. “Not really my kinda thing, chick. Daddy definitely loves a Buzzfeed scroll though. Spends hours on it sometimes”

“Huh. Ya know, daddy’s really weird sometimes. Still, there was some cool ideas and stuff on those posts. Oh, oh! I forgot to ask you about something else”

“Oh yeah?”

“Are we gonna have a playroom? Because I was looking at these posts that had some really cool, mega, over-the-top rich-kid playrooms”

“Hmm, I hadn’t really thought about it yet” Tony said. “I think that’s something we’d need to think about a bit later. There’s no need for a playroom until the baby is older. Even when they’re at the age of playing, we’d probably just get a playpen. The whole idea of a playroom is very much an older thing. Say, maybe toddler-age. We’ll see”

“If we do at some point, can I help design it?”

“Sure. But don’t think about it too much: we’ve got a long way to go before our little three-person baby is a toddler”

“I know, I know. I think I need to slow down. I keep thinking ahead too much, like, to when my baby sibling is older. I keep thinking about the baby bits too, but I think about them older too”

“Yeah, I get that, kiddo” Tony said, turning through the gates into the grounds of St Hendricks. “I’ve thought about it too. But only a tiny bit. I’m kinda focusing on the baby stuff now. We’ll set a date for the next stage today. I know it’s been a long time coming, but it also still feels like it’s snuck up pretty fast”

“You and daddy are so excited. I am too. But I can tell you’re getting all emotional and stuff just thinking about it” Peter said. “You’ve been crying all your happy tears and looking at each other the way you did after you got engaged, and after the honeymoon, and after the adoption, and-”

“Adopting you was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. You’re such a brilliant little kid. I love you to bits” Tony said. “So does daddy. We’re both so, so lucky to have you in our lives, to have you as our son. You’re right in thinking the feeling we got back then is similar to what we feel now. We’re so excited and happy about this. It’s a pretty brilliant chance, the IVF stuff. We’ve wanted a baby for so long, and daddy has wanted one for even longer than me. It’s so cool to think it’s happening now. Family of four, kiddo”

“That means a comrade for me, you know. Two parents and two kids. Level the playing level a bit”

Tony smiled, laughing a little. “You’re so cute, kiddo”

“Ok, two parents, and two cute kids” Peter said. “You and dad are like, attractive men, right? My little sibling is bound to be adorable. I bet it’ll have daddies eyes”

“We’ll have to wait and see” Tony said, parking the car. 

Peter looked out over the car park. “It feels so wrong and boring to be going to school when there’s something this exciting going on at home. I feel like I should be sat in the reading nook reading baby books or looking at nursery designs or something”

“I love your enthusiasm, bambino” Tony said. “But you need to stop daydreaming, just for a few hours. You need focus on your lessons like a good little boy. Ok?”

Peter sighed. “Lessons are so boring though! We’ve got some seriously dull units going on right now. I fell asleep in class four times last week!”

“I think that’s because of your late nights” Tony said, raising an eyebrow. “Darling, you’ve still gotta focus and keep your grades up. I know you’re bubbling over a bit right now, but give focusing a go, ok? Promise me”

Peter nodded. “Alright, I promise I’ll try to focus on my lessons and stop daydreaming so much. And try to stay awake”

“Good boy” Tony ruffled Peter’s hair. “Out you get. Time for school”

“Ok, ok” Peter unplugged his belt and opened the car door, getting out and throwing his satchel on his back. “Bye dad!”

“Bye, honey”

Peter closed the door and took a few steps, but then stopped and doubled back, going to Tony’s side of the car and knocking on the window. Tony sighed slightly and wound the window down. Peter rested his arms on the ledge.

“Is the baby gonna go to the nursery at St Hendrick’s sister school?”

“Go!” Tony scoffed, but he smiled. “You can’t hang about asking questions all day. You know it’s way too soon to think about nurseries anyway”

“Ok, alright. Still...”

“Peter, go to school”

“Ok, ok, I’m going! In a minute...”

“What’s that face for?”

“I hate this bit. I know that as soon as I get through the doors, my throat will do that thing again and then my voice will hibernate until I’m back in the car at the end of the day. I know I’m better in a lot of places, but something about being at school just really scares my voice away, you know?”

“I get it, kiddo. Hey, don’t look so glum” Tony said gently, chucking him under the chin. “You’re gonna be late if you’re not careful”

“I’ve still got time...”

Tony looked at him. “...Ah, fuck it”

He undid his belt and got out of the car. Peter took an uncertain step back, and Tony pulled him close and hugged him tight, very nearly lifting him off the ground. He stroked his hair firmly and kissed him on the cheek.

“You’re such a good boy. I love you so much, darling”

“I love you too”

“You’ve really gotta go in now”

“Are you sure? It’s not too late for me to jump back in the car and go home with you”

Tony loosened his grip, looking down at the boy. “Stop trying your luck. Even if I let you come home, you couldn’t come with us to the clinic. I get that you’re excited, but we’ll clink glasses tonight, ok?”

“Ok” Peter nodded. He sighed and stood back. “I should go. I’ve gotta fight with Macy: she borrowed one of my fountain pens yesterday and didn’t give it back”

Tony smiled and ruffled his hair. “Go and get that pen back, son. You be good, and have a good day, ok?”

Peter nodded. “I will! Can I get a last hug?”

“Last hug” Tony said, giving him another hug and kiss. “Ok, now go! I’ll pick you up after school”

“Ok, see you later! Love you!”

“Love you too”

Tony shook his head fondly as Peter trotted off towards the front entrance of the school. He got back in the car, and he smiled to himself as he started the engine. Peter was a good boy, and a funny kid. If the new baby ended up growing to be even half the child Peter was, he and Loki were going to be the most blessed people on the planet.

-

Tony stopped off for a coffee before going home. He knew that Loki often went back to bed for a little bit after saying goodbye to Peter in the mornings, so he knew he wouldn’t be missed. 

He sat in the car with his cup, scrolling through the nursery designs he had saved on his camera roll. Personally, he liked the jungle theme, but he rather thought Loki would think it too masculine, or hate the cartoon-y design of the animal stickers. It wasn’t the only option, though: he quite liked the woodland theme too. There were lots of examples of huge shelves made to look like a tree and its branches, and he quite liked that. Plus, it fit with Loki’s idea of making the ceiling in the nursery look like the sky. He opened the internet and did another google search. He scrolled quite happily for a good while. He liked the idea of a little circus theme, even though the artwork was a little creepy. He also thought that Loki might like the idea of a nautical nursery. They’d talked about it a lot before, but they’d mainly just been bouncing ideas off each other, and looking at furniture more than themes. There were lots of interesting theme ideas, like mountains and various gardens and various animals and characters. Tony knew what he didn’t like, but there was so much that he did like, that it was hard to decide what he really wanted. But then again, he supposed he did have a good ten months to get it sorted. It wasn’t pressing, not yet. Some time soon, he’d sit down and decide something with Loki - and he was sure Peter would be happy to give his input too. 

Tony finished his coffee and threw the empty cup into the carrier bag behind the passenger seat. Well, he should probably be getting home. Maybe he’d cook breakfast for Loki. He hadn’t done that for a while. This was going to be an exciting day - why not start the good stuff straight away?

-

As Tony suspected, Loki was asleep when he got home. He hadn’t gone back to bed, but was simply reclined on the sofa in his dressing gown, looking very peaceful. Tony smiled and went out to the kitchen, not wanting to disturb him just yet. 

-

Tony knelt down by the sofa, stroking Loki’s hair and kissing him gently.

“Loki? Hey, Lolly, wake up”

Loki stirred and opened his eyes. “...Hi”

“Hi” Tony smiled. “You wanna sit up? You should have some breakfast”

“Mm, you’re probably right” Loki said, sitting up and stretching and yawning.

Tony set a tray down on Loki’s lap before he could stand up. Loki paused a moment, surprised.

“Oh! Oh Tony, you didn’t need to cook for me!”

“I wanted to” Tony said. “I cooked for myself, too”

Tony sat down beside Loki, putting the second tray on his own lap. 

“I figured we should have something proper” Tony said, picking up his fork. “I don’t know about lunch. I think I’ll probably get all weird and nervous and just have a drink or something”

“I think I may well be the same” Loki said. “At least if we have a good breakfast, lunch won’t be so much of an issue”

“We can always eat after we get back from the clinic. Our appointment’s at half one, right? So we’ll probably be back here by like, three. We can grab a snack or something before I have to go and pick up the sprog”

“That works with me” Loki said. “We might want to go out”

“Yeah, maybe. How much have you thought about dates?”

“Not too much” Loki said. “Because they told us that we can give ideas and they can give us a schedule, but we’re better off getting a little appointment that Pepper can attend so we can discuss it properly with her again. I know she gave us some vague dates, and said whatever works for us, but I still think we should go through it again, so none of us are missing something important or urgent on the day”

“Yeah, good idea” Tony said. “We’ll ring Pepper tonight and see what we can figure out”

Loki nodded. “I’m not fussed. My main commitment is Peter, and with it being term-time, that’s not too big of a worry. My only thought is sooner rather than later”

“Mine too. I kinda pick and choose my own hours to work anyway, so it’s not a bother for me. As long as Pep doesn’t have any urgent meetings, I reckon she’ll be pretty flexible. That’s what she said last time”

“She said she’d do it today if she could” Loki said. “But we all know that’s not really practical. It has to match up with ovulation”

“She said the same to me. Whatever, let’s get today’s appointment out of the way first. We can talk about the next one later”

-

Waiting was awful, so Loki and Tony passed the time doing what they’d done after Peter had gone to bed the previous night. It certainly helped, and afterwards they both had a quick shower and then dozed for a while. When they were woken up by the reminder on Tony’s phone, it was time to get ready to go.

-

They both found themselves drumming their fingers while waiting to be called in. Every second felt like a minute, and every minute felt like an hour.

“Maybe we should’ve stopped for that coffee after all” Loki said. “Being ten minutes early has never felt so frustrating” 

“I know. I bloody hate waiting” Tony sighed. He checked his watch. He looked at the clock. He checked his phone. “Four minutes, Loll”

“The fact that the test is essentially just a formality makes it worse. I’ll be glad when we’re back at the house cracking open a bottle of fizz”

“Maybe we should leave the booze until later! Especially since I’ve gotta pick little Peter up from school”

“Ok, we’ll leave the fizz until later. It’s not my favourite anyway”

“Yeah, you’ve always been more of a spirits man. Is it becau-”

“Mr’s Tony and Loki Stark?”

“Oop, that’s us!” Tony said, standing up and taking Loki’s hand. “We’ll be home before you we know it, baby”

Loki smiled and squeezed his hand. Tony smiled back. The butterflies in their stomachs were worse than ever - but somehow, it felt good.

-

As always, the consultant, Ms Maynard, greeted the Stark’s, shaking their hands and asking how they were. But the small talk didn’t last long. 

“I always think it’s best to be upfront and straight to the point with fertility tests” she said, taking her place at her desk and straightening the papers in front of her.

“Well, quick and painless works for us” Tony said. “We just wanna get this bit over with so we can get on with it. Right, Loki?”

Loki nodded. “Yes, of course”

“Tony” Ms Maynard said. “The results of your test were very good, with all of your markers being above average. Your fertility is good; there’s no doubt you have an ability to have your own biological child”

Tony nodded, smiling slightly. It was essentially the answer he’d expected, but it was still quite nice to hear. 

“Now. Loki”

Loki looked at her, waiting for her to essentially repeat herself.

“Loki” she said. “I said I’d be straight with you, so I will be. I’m afraid you may have a condition known as Aspermia. The results of your fertility test showed that you have a sperm count of zero”

For a while there was silence. The room felt strange, heavy, hot and horrible.

“Wh-what do you mean?” Tony said eventually. “That can’t be right! Are you sure you’re looking at the right results? Loki can’t be- he’s not-”

“These are definitely the right results. I’m so sorry, Loki, but this does mean that you would not be able to have biological children”

“But how?! This doesn’t make any sense!” Tony said, tears filling his eyes. 

“These things can’t always be explained. It could be something we’re not familiar with, given who and what you are, Loki, and where you’re from. We can do further testing if that’s something you want, but I will tell you there’s no guarantee we can find the cause, and there’s no cure for Aspermia”

Tony took a deep breath, his heart pounding. This couldn’t be happening; it couldn’t be right. This was just some kind of horrible dream. He looked at Loki. Loki didn’t say anything, and didn’t look back. But he’d gone horribly pale and still, and his eyes didn’t seem to be focusing. He was zoned out, but Tony could see him shaking.

“Loki..”

“I understand this is very upsetting news, and not what you were expecting to hear today” Ms Maynard said. “If there’s anything we can do to support you at this time, please do let us know. There’s people we can refer you to”

“...But... But the trial, there’s gotta be...”

“I’m so sorry, Mr Stark” Ms Maynard said. “But with results like this, I’m afraid there really is no way we can consider you for the three-parent IVF trial. I’m afraid Loki’s result make you ineligible for this type of IVF”

“But, but our baby! We’re gonna have a baby, we were gonna- oh god, this can’t be happening”

A sob escaped him, and he buried his face in his hands. He felt sick, and hot, but he’d broken out in a cold sweat. This couldn’t be happening. How could Loki be infertile? How could this be happening to them? They’d been through so much already, they’d waited so long - surely they deserved their baby now? How could fate be so cruel? What about little Princess May, or Oliver Anthony? Their baby had a name already, they’d started planning the nursery, they’d prepared themselves to welcome their baby into their lives - and now they weren’t eligible. Oh god, they weren’t eligible. It had been in touching distance, but now the three-parent offer had been snatched away from them. Their baby was gone before it had even had a chance to exist. 

-

“If, at some time in the future, you decide it’s an option you’d like, we’ll help organise traditional IVF” Ms Maynard said, mainly looking at Tony. 

Tony shook his head, scrubbing at his tear-stained face with his sleeve. “..It was always gonna be three... It was always gonna be both of us”

“I’m sorry the news today wasn’t different. We’ll be in touch”

-

Tony managed to calm down just enough to reach the car. Loki took the keys from him. He still looked pale and blank and unfocused, and he was still shaking, and he still hadn’t said anything. Tony didn’t protest when Loki got into the drivers seat. He flopped in the passenger seat and started crying all over again. He couldn’t believe what had happened. He couldn’t believe it - it hadn’t sunk in properly, not yet. How could this be real?

Loki kept his eyes on the road. Tony watched him. It took until they were nearly home before he managed to speak.

“Loki?”

Loki didn’t respond, but his grip tightened on the steering wheel. 

-

The house seemed far too big and empty and silent when they got back. Loki hung his coat up on the hook by the door to the garage steps. He kicked his shoes off and pushed them neatly together beneath the coats. He went to the nearest living room and slowly sat down in the middle of the sofa, halfway to the edge. He stared straight ahead, and then his eyes turned towards the ground.

Tony stood close by, watching him, biting his thumb and trying as hard as he could to stay quiet, even though he was trembling and his throat was tight and his legs felt weak and hollow and his chest hurt like someone had shoved their hand through his ribs and torn his heart out.

Loki put his hands together and rested his elbows on his knees. He rested his mouth against the side of his hands. Slowly his eyes seemed to focus a little. His face twitched, as though he was wincing. Tony stepped a little closer.

“Lolly?”

Loki swallowed. He inhaled deeply through his nose. He swallowed again. His eye twitched. He closed his eyes, bending his head more. His face crumpled, and his shoulders started to shake.

“Loki..! Oh, Loki!”

Tony rushed over and threw his arms round his husband. Loki clung to the back of Tony’s coat as best he could with shaking hands. Tony held Loki tight, but he was shaking too, and he couldn’t even stop crying enough to speak now. He just held onto Loki and sobbed into his shoulder, while Loki howled into his. How had everything come crashing down like this? Tony felt sick, and the pain in his chest was turning into a tightness. He couldn’t breathe. He knew he should try to focus on breathing evenly, and tell Loki to do the same, but it seemed so pointless. If they were going to have panic attacks, then so be it. Why stop it? Stopping it wouldn’t fix things. It wouldn’t change the results of the test. It wouldn’t suddenly make them eligible for the three-person baby they’d been planning for. Their baby... Stopping this, calming down, it wouldn’t give them their baby. Tony felt so weak, and it was something of a relief when they fell onto their sides on the sofa, entwined in each others arms, anguished and scared and helpess.

It felt like a death.

-

Peter hugged his girls goodbye and went trotting over to his usual pick-up point. He was surprised and a little confused to see Happy. He climbed into the back seat of the car, looking at him. He quite liked Happy, but he couldn’t always speak to him, especially when they were alone together.

“Hi, kid”

Peter nodded. He opened his mouth, trying hard to choke out some words. Happy didn’t seem to be paying attention, and he started the car. Peter kept trying. 

‘Come on, Peter! It’s only Happy. You can talk to him’ he thought. 

“...W...wh...”

“Nearly” Happy said gently.

Peter furrowed his brow, annoyed at himself. He hated this bloody condition sometimes. He tried harder, and eventually managed to make another sound.

“Wh... Why..?”

He managed the one word, and then his throat went all silly and tight again, and he sighed, turning his head away and covering his mouth with one hand, upset with himself.

“Alright, don’t hurt yourself” Happy said. “Tony asked me to get you”

Peter looked up, looking at him. Tony had promised he’d pick him up. It wasn’t like him to break that kind of promise. Maybe he’d gotten overexcited after their appointment at the clinic and gotten drunk.

“Listen, kid” Happy said, awkwardly. “I think your parents are gonna need you to be really good for them today. Can you do that?”

Peter nodded. He was always good. Well, not always, but most of the time. He felt it was a bit odd for Happy to bring it up. But then, truth be told, Happy was a bit odd. Not that Peter would ever tell him that. 

“It’s not my place to tell you what the situation is” Happy continued. “If your parents wanna tell you, then they will”

Peter lowered his hand. Of course his parents would tell him! They told him everything, and today was something they’d been excited about for a little while now. They were going to be celebrating tonight, so of course they’d have things to tell him. Happy really didn’t have a clue about the Stark’s sometimes.

-

Peter rushed up the garage steps as soon as they were out of the car. Happy ran after him, and caught him on the landing, grabbing his collar.

“Don’t go running about like that!” he hissed.

“My daddies won’t mind” Peter said, his voice suddenly recovered by the comfort of being home.

This was one of Peter’s slightly-mean little tricks. If there was just one thing Happy knew about this household, it was that all Peter had to do was shuffle his feet and blink his puppy-dog eyes and hold his arms out to his daddies, and his parents would do virtually anything for him. Happy sighed. He wasn’t in the mood for bargaining with him today.

“Maybe you should go and get changed” he said.

“I wanna see my daddies first” Peter said, shrugging his satchel off and letting it fall to the floor. “Are you gonna let go of my collar? Dad doesn’t like my coat and uniform getting messed up, you know”

“I know” Happy let go of Peter’s collar and instead rested his hand on the boys shoulder. “Listen, you parents got some news today. Maybe-”

“I know”

“MAYBE” Happy repeated. “Maybe you should give them some space”

Peter pouted at him. “...They’re in the living room, right?”

Happy sighed. He was too beaten down to try to convince him to steer clear.

“I’ll take you”

-

Happy took Peter through to where his parents were. Peter felt a little funny as soon as he walked into the room. Maybe it was just nerves. He looked over at the sofa where his parents sat. He could only see them from before, of course, but he could see that Tony had his arm round Loki’s shoulders, and he could see their trembling forms - and he could hear them crying.

“Dads?”

Tony froze and craned round, frantically wiping the tears from his face, even though they were very quickly replaced with more. He looked at Peter. He swallowed, and looked at Happy.

“Happy, can you..?”

“Sure” Happy said gently, going over and taking Tony’s place on the sofa.

Peter blinked a bit. “Wh-what’s going on? Has something happened? Daddy?”

Something was wrong here, dreadfully wrong: he could sense it. Tony came and put an arm round Peter.

“L-lets go and talk” he said. 

“What about daddy?”

“He’s with Happy”

Peter looked behind him for a moment, but Tony ushered him out of the room quickly. Peter looked up at his dad. He could feel the heat radiating off him. He could see him shaking, and he could see his red eyes and his flushed cheeks. What was going on? Suddenly his tie felt much too tight.

-

Tony sat Peter down in a chair on the landing and knelt down in front of him. He held the boys hands, rubbing his knuckles gently with his thumb while he tried to find the words. 

“Dad, why are you and daddy crying? Did Pepper pull out? Because you know there’s loads of surrogates around, an-”

“It’s not that” Tony interrupted softly. He closed his eyes for a moment and then wiped them on his sleeve. “Darling...”

“You went to the clinic today, didn’t you?”

Tony nodded. “Sweetheart, just let me speak”

Peter swallowed, tears filling his eyes. His heart was thumping in his chest, and he could feel his pulse beating in his neck. Maybe someone had died or something. Whatever it was, it was scary. He hated seeing his parents upset.

“Sweetheart... You know we got the test results today? And you know we always said it was just a formality, and everything was gonna be fine?” Tony swallowed hard, and looked at the boy. “My results were good. But daddy’s... Weren’t”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“Oh Peter...” Tony closed his eyes for a moment, more tears dripping down his cheeks. He opened his eyes again. “Daddy can’t have children”

“...But, but, but what about the baby?”

Tony swallowed hard. “There’s not gonna be a baby”

“But, but there has to be! We’ve been planning for it, and we’re ready, and I’m gonna be a big brother! I’m gonna be a brother-”

“Oh sweetheart-!”

Tony pulled him close, holding him desperately, and starting to cry all over again. Peter started crying properly, trying to bury himself in Tony’s chest. Tony held him tighter, one hand on the back of his head. 

“It’s not fair..!” Peter wailed. “Our family of four-!”

“I know, I know, it’s so sad and horrible” Tony sobbed, kissing him hard on the temple. “Oh, Peter... I’m so sorry”

Peter just cried harder, because he could never bear seeing Tony cry. 

“We’re gonna be ok” Tony wept. “We’re gonna be ok, I promise”

“You can’t know that! This is all daddy wanted!”

“I know. I know” Tony held Peter tighter still. “We’ll get through this together, I promise”

-

Peter insisted he wanted to see Loki once he’d calmed down a bit. Tony wasn’t so sure, but Peter was faster than him. He went after him. Loki was still crying into Happy’s chest. 

“Peter, I don’t think this is a good idea” Tony said thickly.

“I want my daddy! He’s my daddy and I wanna be with him”

Tony put an arm out to stop him rushing over, but he was conflicted. He didn’t know how Loki would feel about Peter seeing him like this. He didn’t know who needed him more. He didn’t really know what to do. Everything was so fuzzy and confusing after so much crying - crying that hadn’t really stopped.

“I need you to go and get changed” he said weakly. 

“I want daddy!”

Tony looked at Happy, who nodded. Tony left Peter and swapped places with Happy, pulling his husband close. Peter went to go over, but Happy caught hold of him.

“You heard your dad. You’ve gotta get changed. Come on”

“No! I wanna-”

“Remember what we said in the car” Happy said firmly, putting an arm round Peter.

Peter shook him off and tried to run over to the sofa again, but Happy grabbed him.

“Hey, come with me”

“NO!”

Happy knew Peter was making it worse for Loki, so he took hold of the boy and threw him over his shoulder.

“No, no, put me down! I wanna be with my dads! This is my family; I’m their baby, put me down!”

Loki held tighter to Tony. He knew Peter wasn’t being insensitive, but just hearing the ‘b’ word hurt so much. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t believe he was so broken.

-

Happy put Peter down once they were in his room. Peter tried to run again, but Happy stopped him.

“Don’t. Your parents need some time alone”

“This isn’t fair!” Peter howled. “It’s not fair, they’ve waited so long for this! It can’t be real, they’re gonna have a baby! I’m gonna be a big brother!”

Happy watched him. He’d known Peter for so long now, longer than Loki, but he still wasn’t always sure how to act around him. Kids were a bit of a mystery, and none more so than this one. He knew this was horrible. It felt like he’d been told about a death when Tony had rang him. He knew how much having this baby had meant to the Stark’s, and he knew how much today’s results were going to hurt them. Peter was a Stark too. Happy sighed and hugged the boy close.

“You need to breathe, kid”

Peter didn’t bother trying. He just clung to Happy and cried, feeling far too hot in his school uniform and coat. He didn’t know exactly what he was feeling. He hadn’t seen Tony cry like that since they’d lost May. He supposed it was a loss, and it felt so horribly unfair. This couldn’t be happening, it just couldn’t.

-

Once Peter had calmed down, Happy managed to coax him out of his uniform and into some normal clothes. He looked much softer and smaller out of his private school clothes and in his jeans and hoodie. Happy sat down beside him on the bed and put an arm round his shoulders.

“I know it’s horrible” he said. 

Peter swallowed. “...I've been looking forward to being a big brother for so long... We’re not having a baby, are we?”

“Your parents can’t do the three-person baby, not with Loki’s results” Happy said carefully. 

“It always had to be three” Peter said. “That’s what they were always gonna do. And now they can’t”

“No, they can’t. I know you’re upset, but you know, infertility isn’t as uncommon as you think”

“How can daddy be infertile?! He’s a god, right? Surely that should put him above us?”

Happy sighed. “I’m not a medical man or a mythologist. You’re just gonna have to accept this. If nothing else, at least this wasn’t their only chance”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Peter snapped. “There’s no way they can have a baby that’s both of theirs now! All of the planning and hoping and all the other stuff has just gone to waste! It’s not fair! Why did it have to happen to us? Haven’t we been through enough?!”

“I’m not good at this kinda stuff, you know that” Happy said. “What I meant was, well... at least they’ve got you, right?”

Peter stopped for a moment. “...That’s not really a consolation. Daddy would probably slam you through a wall if you tried telling him that”

“I watch far too many dramas” Happy said. “If they’ve taught me anything, it’s that you’ll be a comfort to them while they come to terms with this. All it means is you’re gonna stay a family of three”

“Things were finally looking up, Happy. Everything was so perfect, and now we’ve had another horrible thing happen. Daddy Loki’s wanted a baby as long as I’ve known him. This will kill him”

“It’s been a blow to both your parents. They’re absolutely devastated, I’ll give you that. It’s alright for you to be upset too”

“...I’ve gotta stay in here now, haven’t I?”

“That’s probably a good idea” Happy said. “They’re gonna need a lot of time to talk”

Peter nodded slightly. He knew he didn’t have a choice.

-

Peter fell asleep for a while. He was woken up by FRIDAY, and he went through to the kitchen. Tony was there alone, still shaking, and looking very pale and sad. He was still sniffing a bit.

“Hey, kid” he said quietly.

“Is Happy gone now?”

Tony nodded.

“Where’s daddy?”

“He’s... taking a few minutes to himself. Do you want something to eat? It’s kinda past teatime now”

“I’m not hungry” Peter said.

He felt dreadfully empty, but not because of hunger. Tony nodded slightly. He swallowed, staring at nothing for a while before looking over in Peter’s direction.

“Do you wanna go and see daddy?”

-

Loki was sat on his bed, still crying quietly - just tears dripping down his cheeks. He didn’t look up when the bedroom door opened. He was looking down at something in his hands. As Tony and Peter approached the bed, they saw that it was a tiny white baby sleepsuit.

“Oh sweetheart...” Tony said, crawling onto the bed to sit beside him.

“I know we were going to wait” Loki said thickly. “I managed to control myself most of the time, but I kept seeing this and I just couldn’t resist. I didn’t think it would do any harm...”

He kept looking at the sleepsuit. So often he’d imagined dressing his tiny baby in it - but now it would never be worn. It would stay limp and soft with the tags on forever. 

Tony put his arms round Loki, resting his head on his shoulder. Peter slipped out of the room and returned a minute later.

“I didn’t have proper self control either” he said.

He sat on the edge of the bed and showed his parents the tiny fluffy teddy bear he had. It had a baby bottle stitched onto one paw. Loki reached out a hand and touched the teddy gently. 

“I-uh... I’ll just be a minute” Tony said.

He left the room and returned soon after, resuming his position on the bed.

“Looks like none of us have much self control” he said awkwardly.

He revealed what he held: a little traditional wooden baby rattle. He shook it gently, listening to the beads settling. 

“I kept it hidden in case you saw it and told me off” he said. “I couldn’t wait either. I thought just one thing would be fine...”

The family looked at the three lovingly chosen baby items until they couldn’t see through their tears. Loki carefully lay the little sleepsuit back in the middle drawer of his bedside table. Peter paused, and then set the little teddy bear down with it. He gently took the wooden rattle from Tony and set that in the drawer too. He left it open. He swallowed hard. He just wanted to wake up and find that all of this was a dream.

“...Peter?”

Peter looked up and saw Loki holding an arm out to him. Peter started blubbing, and crawled onto Loki’s lap. Loki held him tight and started crying properly again. He didn’t bother trying to muffle it: he just cried, hating himself, hating everything about this. Tony put his arms round both of them, and they stayed close, sobbing and crying horribly until exhaustion caught up with them, and they fell asleep in a tear-stained heap.

*

[bisexualstevierogers]

Don’t Go (Peter Parker X Reader)

Pairing: Peter Parker X Reader Fandom: Avengers: Infinity War Word Count: 2,039 Author’s Note: Reader is a mutant, with abilities kind of like Vibe’s from The Flash. Infinity War SPOILERS and Infinity War fix it fic. Some stuff doesn’t really make sense, but I really wanted this to be happy, so let’s roll with it! Also, this is the first fic I’ve written in AGES, so please be gentle with me. ALSO: requests for MCU characters are open. See this post http://its-the-apocalypse-baby.tumblr.com/post/173452711311/requests-open-hi-so-i-really-wanna-get-back for more info! I own nothing, all characters belong to Marvel.

You were trying to take a nap while using Peter’s shoulder as a pillow when you felt him suddenly shift. You turned to look at him, vaguely annoyed, before registering the look on his face.

Fear. Concern. Uncertainty. Something was wrong.

Peter was moving, gathering up his backpack and opening up the window beside him.

You grabbed his hand to stop him. “Where are you going?” You hissed quietly, looking around the bus to see if anybody was paying attention to the two of you. Everybody was looking out the windows at...something in the sky. You could barely see it, but it looked like some kind of ship. Probably alien. Great.

“I need to go help.”

Something about the situation sent chills down your spine. “Pete, I have a bad feeling about this.”

“What?” Peter asked, turning to look at you fully. “Why?” His warm brown eyes were full of trepidation.

You swallowed around the sudden lump in your throat. “I don’t think you should go. I think you should stay on the bus.”

Peter’s eyes narrowed. “Did you see something?”

“No. Not yet. I just have a feeling that-” Even as you were speaking, your eyes were closing, and you were being pulled into a vision.

The earth was in chaos. People were screaming and crying. There was ash everywhere, making the air thick.

The scene suddenly changed, and you were on a planet that was definitely not Earth. The planet looked like it had been abandoned for a while. The planet was almost deserted, except for two people. One of them was a blue woman with metal on her face and arm. A cyborg maybe?

The other was one you had seen on TV many times and had even shared a few Facetime calls with thanks to Peter. It was Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, and he looked devastated.

You couldn’t understand why, but you did see a scrap of fabric on the ground beside him. Cautiously, you walked towards him and knelt down to pick it up.

You felt bile rise in your throat. It was Peter’s Spider-Man mask.

You were harshly brought out of the vision when Peter started shaking your shoulder. “__y/n__, what’s wrong?” Peter’s eyes were worried. “Why are you crying?”

You hadn’t even realized you were crying until Peter’s hands were gently cupping your cheeks and wiping away the tears that had collected. “Pete…” Your voice was small and noticeably shaky. “You can’t go.”

“Why not?” Peter asked, watching you carefully.

“Because I just saw the future and you’re dead.” Saying it out loud made the bile rise in your throat once again.

“I’m...what? Mr. Stark wouldn’t let anything happen to me.” You weren’t sure if Peter was trying to convince you or himself.

“I know it’s hard to believe, Pete, but I know what I saw.”

Peter shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. “I still have to go.”

“What?” You asked in disbelief. “Were you listening to me at all? You’ll die.”

Peter’s eyes were firm. “I have to do something. I can’t just sit on the sidelines if something bad is happening.”

Peter was grabbing his bag and moving towards the window again.

“Pete, stop, please.” Your voice cracked, and Peter reluctantly turned back to you.

“__y/n__, I have to go.”

You couldn’t think of anything to say that you hadn’t already said, so you did the only thing you could think of.  Your hands flew up to Peter’s cheeks, and you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his and kissing him gently.

The kiss couldn’t have lasted longer than a few seconds, but by the time you pulled away, you were breathing heavily. Peter looked dazed.

“I-what was that for?” Peter asked breathlessly, looking at you with eyes that were a little unfocused.

“I’ve been in love with you since sixth grade, and if you insist on putting yourself in danger and being a hero, I wanted you to know.”

“Since sixth grade?” Peter asked teasingly. “That all?”

You raised an eyebrow at him challengingly.

“I’ve loved you since fifth.” Peter said smugly.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Peter shrugged. “Same as you, I think. Scared. Didn’t want to mess up the friendship.”

Your heart was thumping wildly, happily, before you noticed Peter was still fidgeting with his bag and anxiously looking towards the window.

You grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Please promise you’ll be safe and that you’ll come back in one piece.”

Peter ran his thumb along your knuckles soothingly, locking his eyes with yours and smiling that sweet smile that turned your heart to mush. “Of course. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“You’d better.”

Peter winked and pecked your lips one more time before slipping silently out of the bus window. Everybody was still too distracted with the strange ship in the air to pay attention to him, but you watched him go while the pit in your stomach grew.

--------------------------------

You were sleeping when you were woken up by the sound of your phone ringing shrilly. Reluctantly, you reached around your nightstand blindly before finally finding your phone and answering it.

Normally, you hated answering the phone, but you thought that if somebody was calling you in the middle of the night, it had to be important.

“Hello?” You asked sleepily.

“Is this __y/n__ __l/n__?”

“Mr. Stark? How did you get my phone number?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Tony responded shortly, and you could hear him take a deep breath.

“Mr. Stark? What’s wrong?” Even as you asked, you knew it was about Peter.

“Peter is…” Tony couldn’t even finish the sentence but you knew what he was trying to say.

“No…” You whispered, feeling your heart sink down to your feet. You were light-headed and dizzy, and you hung up the phone immediately, burying your head into your pillow as you started to sob.

This couldn’t be happening.

Your sweet, kind, amazing Peter couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t be. It wasn’t fair.

You thought of the last time you saw him, how he promised you he’d stay safe, and your sobs increased tenfold.

You didn’t mean to, but you cried yourself to sleep.

------------------------------

“Hello, beautiful.” Peter’s voice was warm and tickled your ear.

You tried to open your eyes but you couldn’t. “Peter? What’s going on? Tony told me you were dead.”

Peter chuckled, and your heart clenched painfully at the sound. “No. I’m fine. I’m just not exactly sure where I am.”

“Can I find you? How can I help you?”

“I’m not sure. It looks like Earth but things are...different. It’s hard to explain.”

“I’m so glad you’re okay, Peter.”

You could hear the frown in his voice when he responded. “I’m sorry I worried you. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Peter, when I wake up, can we still communicate? We need to get you out of wherever it is you are.”

“I hope so. __y/n__, I love-” His presence disappeared from your head.

You woke up with silent tears streaming down your face.

----------------------------

“Peter is ALIVE.” You said firmly, arms crossed in annoyance. Nobody was listening to you. Tony, Captain America, Thor, Dr. Banner, and Black Widow were all just staring at you blankly. “What part of Peter is alive and we need to find him don’t you understand?”

“__y/n__, I want him to be alive just as badly as you do, but we have no idea where to look. Or what to do. Or how to find him.” Tony replied gently, and you narrowed your eyes at him.

“You and Dr. Banner are two of the best scientists in the world. If anybody can find Peter, it’s you guys. And if Peter is alive, don’t you think the others might be alive too?”

Captain America’s head perked up. “Bucky might be alive?”

You nodded. “I think it’s very likely that if Peter is alive somewhere, the others are with him.”

“I’ll call Shuri.”

He left the room before you could ask him who Shuri was.

--------------------------------

Shuri turned out to be the younger sister of T’Challa, the king of Wakanda. She was a scientist and genius like Bruce and Tony. You liked her immediately.

Shuri was eager to help, as she wanted her brother back desperately.

With Bruce, Tony, and Shuri working together, and a couple more nightly visits from Peter, you discovered that Thanos had not killed half the universe like he thought. He had merely transported them to a parallel universe.

Bruce, Tony, and Shuri figured out that they needed to find the frequency (?) of the parallel universe and figure out how to make a portal to the parallel universe. You felt like you were stuck in a science fiction movie, and there was a lot of science involved that you didn’t understand.

You told Peter to the best of your ability about what they were doing, and Peter gave you suggestions to relay back to the science team.

Finally, after what felt like years but was only about two months, Bruce, Tony, and Shuri did it. The portal was complete, and it was open!

When Steve got Bucky back, you were only a little surprised when the first thing he did was pull him into a deep kiss. Sam Wilson, aka the Falcon, was a little hurt that Steve didn’t even notice he was alive until he coughed. Steve blushed and sheepishly pulled him into a hug. Shuri first smacked her brother for dying before pulling him into a tight hug. Rocket the Racoon, who you had just recently met, cried when Groot (a talking tree?!) and Drax (a large man with some kind of tattoos) walked out of the portal. Nebula, the blue woman who you had seen in your vision months ago, and Thor, the God of Thunder who you had met a couple of times while attempting to help with the portal, waited with bated breath in the hope that their siblings would exit the portal. You breathed a sigh of relief when a green woman who you thought was Gamora and a brown haired man who you thought was Peter Quill stepped out of the portal. You heard Nebula let out a sob as she ran to embrace her sister. Thor let out a disappointed sigh, before his face broke into a grin.

“I told you the sun would shine on us again, brother.” Loki, Thor’s brother, had appeared in front of him without warning.

“Loki!” Thor shouted exuberantly, pulling Loki into a bone-crushing hug.

A few other people exited the portal, but you stopped paying attention to everybody else when you saw Peter step through the portal, looking alive and healthy and perfect.

“__y/n__,” Peter breathed out, crossing the room in two seconds flat and spinning you around in a hug.

“Pete,” You whispered, trying in vain to stop the tears that were streaming down your cheeks. “I thought I lost you.”

Peter smiled gently at you. “I told you I’d be back before you knew it.”

You frowned at him. “You were gone for two months, and they were absolutely the worst two months of my life.” You deadpanned, and Peter opened his mouth to apologize before you were dragging him down into a deep kiss.  

“I missed you so much.” You breathed out against his lips, Peter’s hands a warm, welcome weight on your waist.

Peter’s grip tightened ever so slightly. “I missed you too.” Peter tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You pressed your lips to his again, slowly, savoring the taste of him. Peter hummed against your lips in approval. “If you die on me again, Parker, I swear to god-”

Peter kissed you sweetly to shut you up.

You could get used to this. There was still a lot of work to be done in defeating Thanos and bringing the other half of the universe out of the parallel universe they were trapped in, but right now, all you could think about or care about was that you had your Peter back.

(You were never letting him out of your sight again.)

End. <3

[fanfic-scribbles]

More Than the Sum of Our Parts

Fandom: Avengers (MCU)

Summary: You trust Steve with your life, but not your body. Maybe it’s time for that to change.

Quick facts: Romance – Steve Rogers/Reader – Female [Overweight] Reader

Warnings: Body issues/self-confidence issues. There is nakedness but this is way more about body issues than sexing.

Words: 1969

A/N: (Skip after the several empty line breaks if you just want the story; this is a way-too-long author’s note.) This is a week where the things I want to turn out don’t come out as I expect? Still, I started this account with the idea that imperfect is better than nothing and I get upset when other authors call their stuff ‘trash’ when I end up really loving it. So! Not trash, but not what I expected. Basically, I wanted a ‘you’re not perfect or gorgeous and that’s still okay’ fic. I wanted to write a fic where Reader doesn’t get called ‘beautiful’ because of reasons (I have many issues and this AN is too long as it is). I may have missed the mark a little bit because along the way I also got an idea for a StuckyxReader fic (that I still want to do eventually) where everybody gets to have body issues because I imagine Steve and Bucky both have different kinds of body dysmorphia (because duh, that is entirely reasonable) and I got a little sidetracked. As an aside, for a reference maybe not everyone will get: Carole Lombard was a beautiful lady of 1930s cinema who was married to Clark Gable (and died in a tragic plane crash in the 40s while selling war bonds; v. sad). (Also, I gotta admit I waffled between Jean Harlow and Carole Lombard because they’re both gorgeous but Lombard inched out. Myrna Loy was also a top contender ‘cause hot damn.) Anyways. Done rambling. Please enjoy (or not; that is your prerogative).

    You walk into your little studio apartment and drop your keys and bag on the table next to the door. The day hadn’t been especially hard but it was long enough that it’s dark out now, and all you want is to relax.

Or, you realize with a growing smile as you see your boyfriend lying on the bed, something else. Steve glances over and smiles at you, setting aside his book and sitting up in a succession of smooth movements. He has issues with his body, sometimes, but he really knows how to use it. “Hey sweetheart,” he says and stays as you walk over to him. You eye his lap but sit next to him, and he pulls you in closer with an arm around your back. “Long day?”

“Kind of,” you admit. You could easily lean in and fall asleep like this, so you turn your head and pull him in for a kiss. Your boyfriend is an incredibly good kisser. It took a little practice to get him there, but now Steve maneuvers around your mouth as easily as he moves about a battlefield. The blunt force of his lips and tongue can leave you breathless, but when he skirts the edges, nipping up and down your neck…

He pulls back, breathing a little heavier. “We should, uh, eat dinner first. You’re probably starving.”

“Nah,” you say and pull your nails down his back, outside his thin, tight shirt. “I could work up an appetite.” You grin and lean up to nibble up his neck. “But you do look good enough to eat…”

He huffs a laugh and lies down, bringing you with him. You’re careful not to bring all your weight with you, though, because Steve is strong enough to lift a car and you don’t ever want to hear how you’re ‘heavier than you look’ even in jest.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

You go to turn off the lamp next to the bed but Steve says, “Wait,” and grabs your hand before it reaches the switch. “Can we do something a little different?”

Talk about intriguing. Sex with Steve never stops being amazing whether it’s fueled by fevered need or gentle desire, and maybe that’s why neither of you have switched it up yet. But oh the possibilities. “What do you have in mind?”

He smiles in the way he knows makes you weak in the knees, the scheming bastard, and he pulls you up and over to straddle him. He runs his hands over your thighs, up your hips, and slips his hands just under the bottom of your shirt. “Let’s leave the light on.”

You blink, feeling a creeping edge of dread that you can’t seem to put into words. “That…I don’t…that doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

Steve, of course, looks shrewd. Scheming bastard indeed. “Why not?”

“It’s because…I’m not…well…” You gesture helplessly at your body.

“We’ve been having sex for a while now. I’ve felt almost every part of you.”

He drags his short nails down your sides and you shudder. “It’s different,” you protest, even as he rubs his hands over your skin. “It’s even different just normally because yeah you see me but you see me in clothes. You see me how I want to be seen.” Mostly.

“What do you think is so wrong that I wouldn’t want to see you?” he asks.

You roll your eyes. “I’m fat.”

“That’s it?”

You shoot him a dirty look. “I have been self-conscious of my body since I was a child Steve; don’t act like that’s nothing.”

His expression softens. “You know I understand that,” he says and reaches up to touch your face. You lean into it. “I never felt completely small like I was and even now I don’t feel like this is my body, sometimes. But you help me when I feel out of place in my skin. Maybe I can help you.”

You take his hand and kiss it, and let out a little sigh. “Except sometimes I don’t want to be in my own skin,” you admit. “Sometimes I want to be someone else. To know what it’s like to not be heavy. To…do things smaller girls can do.”

He frowns, like he’s figuring something out. “Is that– wait, is that why you won’t lie on top of me? Why you won't sit on my lap even when you look like you’re about to?”

You flinch away. “You notice that?”

“Sweetheart, it’s hard not to,” he says gently. “You, uh, do know I occasionally lift vehicles for my day job, right?”

You giggle at the thought of Steve randomly lifting a car at a 9-to-5. “Yeah but…”

In one swift motion he stands with you in his arms, making you shriek and cling to him. When your heart slows back down he’s standing, holding you as you have your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms behind his neck. You study him, seeking any kind of strain, any increase of breath, but he holds your gaze.

Finally, you breathe. “I swear if you make one Goddamn joke about how I really am heavier than I look…”

“How about lighter than you look?” he asks, his smirk small and his eyes bright with amusement.

You think about that. “Still not helpful,” you admit.

“Fair enough,” he says. But he moves his face closer to yours. “Are you okay?”

“Are you okay?” Because you don’t know how to answer that.

“Better than okay.” He licks his lips. “I actually really like this.”

“Hm.” You’re not sure you do, but you don’t want to count it out quite yet.

Steve brings you both to the bed and sits down again. This time though he makes sure you sit in his lap, no hovering allowed. “Tell me this– if I was still sickly, scrawny Steve, would you still love me?”

“Yes,” you say without hesitation. You’ve had your own ‘am I shallow’ freak-out long before now but landed pretty firmly on the decision that, if Steve has always had the good heart he does now, you’d still have loved him.

“Then why do you think I can’t love you as you are?”

“I don–…” You sigh. “I don’t know. I guess it’s not fair, it’s just…in my head, you know?”

He lets out a slight “hm.” Then he smiles again. “A lifetime of body issues doesn’t just go away.”

He’s quoting you, the brat. “Sounds like a smart person told you that.”

“Oh, the smartest.” He starts kissing you again. Not your lips though; seemingly everywhere but. He starts telling you about yourself– the things he loves. Your sense of humor, bits of personality you don’t show anyone but him. The little jokes you share that can make him laugh just thinking of. Your chest swells with the almost uncomfortable amount of praise

“And I love the way she touches me,” he says, settling to look in your eyes. “I love how she knows just where to touch to drive me crazy. I love how she pulls my face when she wants a kiss. I love how she pulls my arm when she gets excited and just knows I’ll come along.” He strokes your face. “And I love the way she lets me touch her. I love that she lets me touch the places no one else does, how she lets me close when she’s so vulnerable, how she trusts me with almost anything.”

He doesn’t put any extra emphasis on it, and if you know Steve then you know he didn’t even mean to, but that ‘almost’ is like a brick in your head. It’s true. Of all the things you’ve trusted him with– your home, your safety, your body– you haven’t trusted him with all of you. The first time you had sex was sort of an accident, a moment of passion, and you made sure you were wearing something before he woke up the next morning. He was none the wiser then, still punch-drunk on endorphins and love confessions, and so you kept it up.  You’ve trusted him to have you, but you haven’t yet trusted him to look at you and not run away.

You stare at him for several, long, quiet seconds.

You stand up and move back. He starts to say your name but stops when you pull off your shirt. It’s now or never, you think, and though that’s not quite true, you’re going with it. It’s the unsexiest strip tease ever, especially when you’re down to your undergarments, but even though your hands shake on your bra clasp, you need to see this through. So you do, until you’re standing in front of him, utterly exposed, and letting him take in the sight you have so far denied him.

He looks you up and down, poker face in full effect. You hold your arms out, do a full turn, and shrug. “It’s…me.”

He’s still staring when he smiles slowly and crooks a finger for you to ‘come hither’. You do, taking back the position you just left. He suddenly inhales deeply and you feel a definite rise in his pants that makes you gasp in surprise. He chuckles and nuzzles your neck. “Yeah. Still plenty for me to like, sweetheart. Especially knowing you’re my girl and I’m the only one that gets to see you like this?” He starts kissing your neck, trading between teeth, tongue, and lips. “So what if you’re not perfect? You don’t have to look like Carole Lombard to be worth something.”

You let out a breathless laugh and when he pulls back to look at you, you look right back at him. “Eh,” you say with a little shrug. “You’re no Clark Gable.”

He grins. “Nope,” he says and turns so that you’re lying back on the bed. “I’m Steve. And you’re (y/n). And I love you as you are– even the parts I don’t always like.”

“Oh really?” you ask as he moves down and starts kissing up your stomach.

“Yeah. Your stubbornness…”

“Your stubbornness,” you grumble.

“…the way you close up sometimes when I wanna talk it out…

“How self-righteous you can be.”

“…how defensive you can get…”

You snort as you try to clamp down a laugh at that, but he rests his head on your chest and smiles up at you. It takes your breath away– not because his head is especially heavy, but because it feels so comfortable, even despite it being an unflattering angle. You run your fingers through his hair. “Mm…I see your point. There’s always good and bad.”

“Exactly.” He kisses your lips. “I don’t have to love everything to love you.”

He sits up and takes his shirt off. It is quite a nice sight to behold– mostly because you’re looking at his chest and thinking about dragging your fingers down it roughly in the way that always makes him shudder. You’re thinking about how you can’t wait to nibble on his ear and pull his hair, because he always lets out the sweetest moans then.

He gets naked and looms over you, beautiful and imperfect in ways only he can tell you about. Only the ways you can notice. And now that he’s staring at you, you quash as much of your insecurities as you can and ask, “What are you seeing?”

“My dream girl.” He gets on the bed and hovers over you with that impossible arm strength. “Every part of her.” He lowers himself and kisses you, and you feel him, all of him, skin to glorious skin. Ragged bits and bumps and smoothness and untrimmed hair and all. “What are you seeing?”

“Mm, my dream guy.” You look into his eyes and smile. “The whole of him.”

[andinewton]

Healing the Hurt - Avengers Redemption Series - Part Two - Chapter 47

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Amelia Richards (OFC), pretty much everyone from the MCU appears at some point!

Pairings: Bucky x Amelia (ofc)

Warnings:  Chronic pain, physical disability, implied smut, eventual smut, swearing, fertility issues, pregnancy, angst with a happy ending, Stark has a heart.

Word Count:  151372 (complete with additional epilogues added)

Summary: 
Everything is going well at Avengers Tower, Bucky is integrating into the team slowly but surely; he longs for his confidence back but knows it's going to be a long road, never more than when he meets the new secretary at his doctor's office.

Amelia Richards is a career SHIELD agent, recruited straight out of college into the "company" but now she finds herself passed around from department to department, her latest position as a secretary at Avengers Tower proving monotonous compared to her former life, but when James "Bucky" Barnes walks into her office one Friday evening everything changes…

Join Bucky as he rediscovers parts of himself he had thought long lost with someone who considered herself broken for a long time, helping one another heal in more ways than one…

Master List

Chapter 47

Summary:  The long wait for Bucky to be found begins...

Amelia’s heart sank. She knew she needed to keep the line clear but she wanted to scream Bucky’s name until he replied, until she knew he was safe. ‘Steve?’ She said, her quiet voice echoing through the radio silence that Vision’s statement had left. ‘Stay on the comms, Amelia, we’ll find him.’ Steve said firmly. ‘Vision, do what you can, Tony, I want you and Lang down there helping Vision, the rest of us watch for any stragglers and protect those who are searching for Buck. You have your orders.’

Amelia lost track of what was happening, so many voices and so much information. She collapsed into the chair, put her hands between her knees, pressed together, and folded herself over her legs as her breathing came too fast, tears burning at her eyes for escape. ‘Found him!’ Scott’s voice came into her ear. ‘He’s unconscious but breathing, quite a lot of rubble between him and out. He’s in a good air pocket though.’ ‘Great, Scott, stay with him, you can guide the others to him.’ Steve replied. A small sob escaped Amelia’s throat from relief and worry at the same time and Nat heard it. ‘Milly, remember, he’s a super soldier. He has that great healing factor, not to mention the enhanced strength and constitution.’ ‘I’m fine.’ Amelia replied, not sounding fine at all. ‘Just get him home, okay?’ ‘Promise.’ Nat said, casting Steve a glance as they reached the site where Vision was moving rubble. It didn’t look good. The next hour Amelia sat with her head in her hands, listening to everything that went on, until they were able to lock onto Scott and Bucky’s vitals enough for Vision to phase through the rubble and bring Bucky up safely. The last of the enemy forces had been dealt with and the team were flying home soon afterwards, but Bucky had yet to regain consciousness. FRIDAY’s scan of his vitals showed various wounds, some minor internal bleeding, a broken leg and a blow to the head that could be a cause of concussion and was definitely the cause of his unconsciousness. Sigyn and Loki used what sorcery they could to heal some of his wounds but the rest would have to wait until they reached the tower. As soon as they had word they were inbound Amelia raced to the med floor, just having to be there for whenever she could see him. She was sent to the waiting room well out of the way but she knew when he was brought in as the activity level went up along with the noise. As she reached the door Nat came through it and immediately blocked her way. ‘How is he?’ Amelia tried to look around her but Nat stepped into the room, closing the door and moving Amelia back with her hands on her upper arms. ‘He’ll be fine, just needs a little patching up.’ Nat smiled reassuringly. ‘Don’t lie to me, Nat.’ She said wearily. ‘Just tell me.’ ‘They just want to run some tests, check there’s no other broken bones FRIDAY missed, that the bleeding has stopped. Standard procedure.’ Amelia nodded, hoping that really was all. ‘What am I meant to do?’ ‘Just wait here, I’ll stay too, and as soon as we can we’ll get you in to see him. You know he changed his file to list you as his next of kin instead of Steve?’ ‘How long might that be? Is he conscious or…what did you say?’ ‘I said you’re his next of kin.’ Nat smiled warmly and led her back to the chair where she had left her bag. ‘You are the one he wants contacted first, because you’re the first person he thinks of every day.’ Nat’s words made Amelia’s eyes well up again and she covered her mouth with her hand as though that would stop the sobs from escaping, and instead she gave a kind of hiccuping squeak and Nat pulled her into a hug. ‘He has to be okay, I don’t know what I’ll do if he’s not.’ ‘He will be. This is just a scare, Milly, he will be dancing with you again in no time.’ Amelia nodded and clung to Nat as she cried. Minutes later Steve came through the door and Amelia realised how dirty he and Nat were, how battered from trying to help reach Bucky and the fight. ‘You guys should go clean up.’ She suggested and Steve looked down at himself as though he hadn't realised. ‘You go, Nat, I’ll wait with Amelia until you get back.’ ‘You’re sure?’ Steve nodded with a small smile. ‘Okay, can I bring you anything back with me?’ She brushed Milly’s hair back from her face. ‘Decent coffee? The spleens of the HYDRA agents responsible?’ Amelia gave a small, sad laugh. ‘Maybe a coffee, thanks, Nat.’ ‘We can do the spleens another time.’ She assured her, hugging her briefly before going for the door. ‘Call me if there’s any news.’ ‘How’re you holding up?’ Steve asked before the door was even closed. ‘Terrified.’ Amelia admitted as Steve indicated they should sit. ‘Understandable. He’ll be okay.’ ‘Still scared the shit out of me.’ Steve smiled slightly. ‘He always had a flare for the dramatics.’ ‘He can just damn well quit it.’ They sat in silence for a few minutes in the basic chairs that Steve himself had sat in not that long ago as Bucky paced the floor waiting for news after Amelia was shot. She wasn’t a pacer though, she was a quiet contemplator, and he could all but see the cogs in her mind whirring. Finally her thoughts escaped her lips and Steve could have guessed at what they might have been without a single clue. ‘I don’t want to lose him, Steve. I’ve lost everyone else, I can’t stand the thought of him not being there too.’ Steve wrapped his arm around her awkwardly, this was Bucky’s girl and his friend, but hugging on greeting was one thing, trying to comfort her was something else. ‘He has a dangerous job, but this was a fluke. And without your warning it could have been a whole lot worse.’ ‘I should have seen it sooner.’ ‘You saw it soon enough.’ His hand rubbed up and down her arm in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. ‘In the grand scheme of things you saved a lot of lives tonight. You called it right, you had us evacuate and without you we might have had a hell of a lot more injuries than just Bucky. And what he has is all curable, we might just have to put up with him being a bad patient for a while.’ Amelia chose to ignore the fact that Steve said she helped, preferring to feel bad until she knew Bucky was actually okay. ‘Do we have any idea what injuries he sustained?’ ‘One definite break in his leg, clean so will heal fast enough. Loki and Sigyn stopped the internal bleeding, so other than a few cuts and bruises, and a bump to the head, he should be good.’ ‘Should be?’ She leant away from him and looked at him worriedly. ‘Well, you know, he’s still a stubborn jackass, we can’t cure that.’ ‘Language.’ She gave him a small smile, knowing Bucky’s injuries really weren’t that serious. ‘Because you don’t sound like a sailor when you’re incensed.’ He gave her a sideways smile. ‘Let me go see if I can find out how long until we can see him.’ ‘I’ll come with you.’ They stood together and headed towards the door, meeting Tony part way to the desk. ‘Hey, kid, how you holding up?’ He looked her over, noting her puffy eyes and streaked, pale skin, and resisted the urge to pull her into a hug. ‘I’m okay. Is everyone else alright?’ She looked between the two of them, realising she hadn’t asked. ‘Unlucky Barnes was the only one hurt.’ Tony replied as Steve went on ahead to the desk. ‘Thought I’d check in here before I hit the lab. Anything I shouldn’t touch, besides your laptop?’ She shook her head. ‘I managed to convert and transfer most of the data onto your system before you got back. I think there was one file still running, but it might have been corrupted in the blast, I won’t know until I look.’ ‘You don’t need to look.’ He assured her. ‘You’ve done enough.’ She shook her head. ‘Gives me something else to do besides worry.’ ‘I’ll leave it alone. You’ve given us enough data to go over as it is.’ She swallowed and it hurt, more emotion than physical pain, but it was still there. ‘No, it might be important. Let me give you my password and you can check it.’ ‘Whoa, what? Your password?’ He said in disbelief. ‘You’re giving me full access to your laptop? That thing is like your own personal ark of the covenant!’ ‘I trust you.’ She said simply, and those three words made something inside Tony melt. The fact she would willingly allow him access to everything she held so close to her was probably one of the biggest compliments he had ever received. Holding his arms out he simply said; ‘Okay, two time offer.’ And when she frowned at him uncomprehendingly he took the initiative and stepped forward, enveloping her in a fierce hug. He had joked when they first met about adopting her, and he realised he kinda had, more as a little sister than daughter, a little sister with questionable taste in men, but they had both lost their parents to HYDRA, both had a love of all things nerdy and geeky, and she took his teasing with good humour and gave as good as she got. She sighed against him and he kissed her hair. ‘I trust you too, kid. Tell you what, I’ll call you from the lab and you can talk me through it, how’s that?’ ‘Okay.’ She nodded, having sunk gratefully into his embrace. For all she had previously heard about Tony Stark she felt she had seen a side of him few got to and she was grateful for that. ‘Thank you, Tony, for everything.’ ‘Don’t sweat it.’ He replied as he let her go and stepped back. ‘We’re a family. A weird, Brady Bunch for the new century family, but a family nonetheless.’ ‘They’re the best kind.’ She managed a small smile. ‘Amelia?’ They turned to see Steve approaching. ‘We can go in.’ ‘Go get him, Science Sis.’ Tony nodded towards Steve but Amelia paused, rested her hand on his chest and went up on her toes, kissing his cheek. ‘Thanks again.’ She said quietly and patted his chest as she went back down onto her feet and headed towards Steve. Tony nodded to him as he put his hand on Amelia’s back and guided her down the corridor. ‘The doctors have him stabilised, they’ve put him on a drip for fluids and some pain medication, for what good it will do, plastered his leg; you know he’s a big baby who’s going to milk this, right?’ He said, trying to lighten the mood. ‘I really don’t care as long as he’s okay.’ ‘Same.’ He agreed. ‘But if he wants a little call bell to ring can we agree to disown him until he’s healed?’ ‘Deal.’ She nodded as he opened the door to Bucky’s room. The super soldier in question laid in a hospital bed opposite the door and to one side, oxygen pipes leading to his nose and two tubes running to a cannula in his right arm. His hair and vibranium arm were a stark contrast against the white bedding, his skin paler than normal, marred by small cuts, bruises and a little dirt. His right leg was in a cast from his toes to his knee and was elevated by two pillows under his ankle. He looked peaceful but also fragile and Amelia fought back a gasp, stopping still as she took him in. ‘He was always the fit one, the healthy one.’ Steve said, as he made her take a few more steps forward, not that she resisted his encouragement. ‘I was always sick as a kid and he never left my side, other than to go bring me books. He used to read to me all the time. It’s weird every time I see him injured.’ ‘Have you seen him hurt often?’ She asked quietly. ‘Just the once before this, I mean this bad.’ He corrected himself. ‘The Zemo incident. But once, and just once, when we were kids, I got us both into trouble. I was always picking fights and he was always riding to the rescue, but this time I bit off more than even he could chew. We had the crap kicked out of us. My mom went nuts. Her verbal beating was so much worse than the bruising and split lips we had.’ ‘You were both troublemakers.’ ‘No, not Buck.’ Steve shook his head, guiding her into the small plastic chair by the bed and watching as she reached up and touched his metal hand without hesitation, running her fingers over his palm. ‘He was a ladies man, had a real flare for them. Handsome, witty, always tried to find someone for me so we could double, but his idea of a good time was things like the science expo run by Tony’s father. Sure, dancing too, but he loved the pulp magazines. Stories of action and adventure, mostly mysteries and detective stories back then, and Flash Gordon, we were there, every Saturday for the matinee, sometimes we stayed for two shows. We even toyed with the idea of making our own pulp fiction when we were in art class together, but then war broke out and…’ He shrugged. ‘Are you telling me that you were the jock and he was the nerd?’ She looked up at him. ‘If I was the jock I’d have got in less trouble.’ He smirked. ‘Wannabe jock?’ ‘Hero in the making.’ She smiled and he rested his hand on her shoulder in gratitude. ‘Your heart was in the right place.’ ‘That doesn’t always help.’ ‘Doesn’t hurt either.’ She smiled at him before turning back to Bucky, his breathing even, his chest rising and falling with each one. They stayed like that for some time, just watching him in silence until Steve noticed how heavy Amelia’s blinks had become and he looked at the clock on the wall. ‘Hey, Amelia, why don’t you get some sleep?’ ‘I’m fine, Steve, but feel free if you want to go.’ She said absently without looking at him, evidently lost in thought. ‘Why don’t you curl up in the chair and I’ll go clean up?’ He indicated to the armchair in the corner. ‘I’ll move it over by the bed so you don’t have to leave.’ She sighed. She was really tired and didn’t want to leave him so that would work. ‘Sure.’ She nodded, getting to her feet and carrying the plastic chair to the corner of the room while Steve easily moved the large armchair. He got her settled in it, it wasn't the most comfortable chair in the world but it was better than the plastic one. ‘Try get forty winks. I’ll be back as fast as I can.’ ‘No rush, he’s not going anywhere.’ She looked up at him. ‘That’s true.’ He took the extra blanket off the end of the bed, shook it out and laid it over her legs where she had tucked them up under her. ‘See you soon.’ Amelia made one quick call to Stark and gave him her password before she did exactly what Steve suggested, angling herself so she was facing Bucky but still curled up and comfortable. It wasn’t long before she began to feel sleep pulling at her and in minutes her breath was falling as easily as Bucky’s.

Chapter 48

[btswishes]

Love me for who I am now

Bucky x Reader ( Chapter 4)

Previous / Next (5)

Summary: You apply for the Stark internship and end up getting it, so now you have 5 months to make a good impression to continue working with the Avengers.

A/N: Ok. I think I need to calm down with the descriptions a bit. They might be a bitt too much for everything. Good thing this is an experiment and a challenge for my damn bratty authors block. Sorry for any mistakes made, hope you enjoy it even a tiny bit.

Tag list: @vicmc624​

Word count:  3,305

Warmings: fights, harsh language, not part of the original MCU

Y/N- Your name                             

Y/L/N- Your Last Name                  

40s Vocabulary:  

killer diller - the best, amazing

grandstand - show off in a boastful manner

​snap your cap - get angry

flip your wig - lose your temper, lose control

                                   ----------------------------

   The compound was overthrown by silence, such a sweet melody combined with the sound of the nightly creatures, passing by at such heights. One would be surprised at what could even survive up here, at least the city was just a distant presence. The clock hit 12 as you closed the door of the lab behind yourself. After tiding up you decided to brush over some stuff, ending up just doing 3 more hours of work. Steve wouldn’t be happy to find out you did exactly what he expected.

  Your feet tiptoeing snuck around the halls, making sure no one noticed or got woken up by you. No sound came out, not even by your breath. You were expecting to see the glimmer of light from at least 2 rooms, but apparently no one was up. Palm against the metal of the door, it slid open ever so silently as its owner.

“Ah~…” you let out a deep breath, letting your body sink onto the bed- work books and empty laptop bag on the covers under your right hand. Replenishing the oxygen, you took in the smell of the sheets. A mix of fresh, crisp mountains with a hint of floral tones.

       Knock knock

   Your head came up first, allowing the guest access to your room, before pushing half your body up with hands firmly pressed into the bedding. The hissing sound of the door revealed a head pocking from the side, illuminated slightly by the dim lighting coming from inside.

“Am I bothering?” the female voice asked

“Um no, actually I just came from the lab.” You explained, beginning to identify the owner of the rich voice slowly

“Come over to my room then.” blunt and direct, a woman that never beat around the bush. Something you wanted to be able to do as well sometimes

“Nat!” another sweet note flew into your room, rapidly cutting off the residual command “You are supposed to ask her if she wants to come, not demand. She could be tired.”

“Oh come on.” Natasha looked back at the second companion, reading her a lecture in the corridor “She can say no.” with the corner of her eye she was indirectly actuating you in her favor. Agent habits die…well - never.

“ I am a night owl so if you don’t mind I would love to join you.” Still whispering in case someone woke up, you were pulled out from your room by the two women. It felt like a blink of an eye when you found yourself cross-legged on the soft mattress. The situation was not expected and very much tense for you. Soft tapping sounds of rain filled the room, creating a cozy ambiance. Natasha was leaning onto her elbow - body sideways, while Wanda was completely laying onto her stomach- both looking at you.

“Relax.” Natasha tapped your shoulder. It felt almost like magic when your body did exactly that, well maybe it was since Wanda’s hand flashed a bit. I don’t think anyone would complain about the sudden stress relieve. Compared to your pretty empty living quarters this place showed the years spend. The color of the wall was a warm light tone of dark amber. Combined with the wooden style furniture and small knickknacks, it had a warm cabin like feeling - welcoming. You did not regret coming here at all, now that you were situated. And the rain, the light drops just added so much to this, almost like you were on vacation in the woods and star-gazing with your closest friends.

“So, how did it go with Mr. Always Grumpy?” Wanda uttered below you, attention spilling out of her very existence

“Bucky?” you asked strings pulling a nod from both of them “Thought so.” sighing, your elbows dug into the soft cover supporting your upper body “ He just threw a tantrum that ended up with him almost choking me out on the spot and not in the good way. Fixed his arm though. ”you added proud of the last sentence

“Wait, wait.” Natasha swung her hands side to side in front of her face in disbelieve “He let you fix his shoulder? No, no let me rephrase that. James Buchanan Barnes let you touch him? Someone he doesn’t know?”

“How?” Wanda sat up in a split second, making the bed shift a bit from the kinetic energy applied to it

“Simple.” Your pointer finger flung up positioned between your eyebrows, before pointing at the two women “Treat him like a moody antisocial child.” A wide evil smirk tugged from side to side onto your lips “ I just told him that if he doesn’t get it fixed he will be a burden on the next mission. For someone trying to erase his past by doing good deeds and being useful, this was like a jab to his ego.”

“That…” Wanda’s fingers wrapped around her chin, letting her sink in thought “…that makes a lot of sense honestly. I would have never come up with that.”

“Enough about fossil number 2.” Natasha clapped her hands “Since we will be neighbors from now on, let’s go around and do a short introduction happy campers.”

“I will go first.” Wanda rose her hand beginning “Wanda Maximoff here, your teammate living right in front of you.”

“You can just call me Nat, no need for formalities, Captain’s orders.” She joked

“I mean for me just Wanda is ok.”

“I guess the introduction is directed more towards me.” A giggle rung out “ Y/N Y/L/N, studying in Stark University with a very weird past, that I can’t explain to myself either. Your new neighbor and teammate from what I can gather. Pleasure to make -“ too formal you thought to yourself, it was time to let go a bit “Nice to meet yall.”

  You found yourself getting along with the girls much faster than with anyone else in the compound. Maybe it was because you didn’t have an awkward first confrontation with any of them or a choking one.

“By the way.” You lured them back with your voice “Tony said something about me using the gym. What’s all that about? ”

  The two turned to each other questioning for a moment, before deciding that it wouldn’t hurt to know what Tony was mixing in his little pot of mischief – had to get used to it sooner or later.

“He is testing an Avengers new generation program on you.” Nat concluded from their numerous conversations about you prior to your arrival or, as a matter of fact, even your application acceptance “The gym is for well, to make sure you don’t die on missions.”

“Ok, hol’ up hol’ up.” Your eyes squeezed shut when your hands waved air side to side “Not only am I a ‘build an avenger’ type of deal, but I will be going on missions?!”

  Their non verbal agreement pulling a deep and already exhausted sigh out of you. It hadn’t even began and your muscles were in pain. You got yourself in this mess, you kind of wanted it so no backing down now. Your pride wouldn’t let you.

  The rest of the night was filled with jokes, snarky comments about the men in the compound. Natasha had dirt on almost all of them with the occasional help of Wanda. The three troublesome birdies soon fell asleep each in her own corner of the bed, till later in the night when you huddled up. The window in Natasha’s room was the main culprit causing you to ball one next to the other.

  Light slowly creeping into the common room and welcoming the men stumbling early for a cup of coffee - drowsy and very much looking like bird nests. Tony dressed in his fancy pjs was quick in his preparations, while Sam and Steve were still waiting next to the bubbling machine, on each side of it. Arms crossed, pressed against firm muscles and fighting the sleep.

“Morning early birds.” Tony teased Sam when Bucky’s heavy steps passed behind the playboy. He looked the most awake and ready for a mission out of everyone. Steve pulled out a couple of mugs and poor the hot dark liquid, passing 2 out to his buddies.

  Peace covered them like a comfort veil, sips frequently reminding that time was indeed still flowing and not paused. Boredom began crawling up their spines, when Bruce’s emerging presents lit them up. The need for some vibrancy was soaking into the air.

“What is up with the serious atmosphere?” he asked grabbing one of the cups resting on the bar.

“Something is missing here.” Sam pushed his lips to the side speaking of things everyone noticed “It’s...too quiet.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” Tony released his grip on the mug, resting it on the table

Yes Sir?

“Where are the rest of us?”

If you are speaking of Miss Maximoff, Miss Romanoff and Miss Y/L/N they are still in bed.

“I know I buy the best beds, but this is a bit too much.” Tony got up and walked over to Wanda’s room, knocking on the door. He waited for an answer, but none was given. His head pocked in just for his eyes to be met with emptiness.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. where are they?” Tony stomped over to your room, which was in the same condition maybe a bit emptier since you were a new arrival

In Miss Romanoff’s room Sir.

“All of them?” Steve pushed his hips off the counter, tall figure stalking after Tony.

Yes Sir.

  The door slid open and Steve almost choked out a loud laugh at the sight. The three of you were cuddled up like stray cats trying to keep warm during the cold winter days, waiting for an owner to come and pick you up. Hands pushing his lips closed, Steve snuck in closing the open window. As simple as the action was it released a calming moan from one of you, the space already getting warmer.

“I don’t have the heart to wake them up.” Bruce announced with a cheerful whisper 

“Yeah, keep them like that.” Sam pulled out his phone and started taking pictures

“What are you doing?” Bucky’s body leaning onto the doorframe, the newest member to this room-visit

“What does it look like tin can arm?” clicking sounds bouncing off the wall “Getting some dirt on Nat. The amount of blackmail material she has on me is too much.”

“Ok, you had your fun bird brain.” Bucky grabbed Sam’s hand and pulled the phone way from your resting figures, specifically you.

“Calm down you two.” Steve tried to pull them away and out of the small space

“What got your panties twisted?” Sam’s body stood up confidant, clenching the muscles being wrapped by the cold vibranium plates “The Winter Soldier look is showing on that smug face of yours.” The dark glistening skin pushed closer to Bucky as he was almost picking a fight “ Shit, if I didn’t know better I would say someone was whispering them trigger words of yours.” 

  Sam finally had something to use for revenge, but this whole righteous behavior of Bucky was spoiling his fun. The rest of the guys felt the pressure accumulating around the menacing men “Zhelaniye and Semnadtsat something like that right? Oh wait that is right~...Wakanda whipped your ass clean.” The awful Russian accent awoke Natasha, but feeling the heavy air she decided to wait her time to get those pictures back. Sly one.

 The words were loud enough for everyone to wait for Bucky’s reaction.

“Rzhaviy or some shit li-“ the word crept inside your ear together with the sentence beforehand. Your left hand decided that the position it was in wasn’t comfortable anymore, swinging your left foot in the opposite direction. Hands pushing off the bed with a rough creek, let your left knee hook onto Sam’s neck – body hanging like a chain in front of him. Your fingers didn’t waste time to snake around his own calves pulling them up.

“Wha-!” Sam gasped when the heels of your feet pushed his shoulders back – head hitting the soft carpet with a loud thud and grunt. There was no time to take a breath for the poor man before your arms locked the air in his throat.

  Natasha grabbed the phone quickly and deleted whatever she could find about herself, while everyone else sat stunned.

“I give- I give- up!” Sam tried squeezing the words out of his mind as he began tapping the floor and your elbow.

“I got the pics Y/N.”Nat waved the phone at you, but your hands began to tighten around his neck. Sam was starting to turn colors his skin wasn’t supposed to have.

“Y/N!” Bucky growled out loud and commanding, shacking up the whole room. It felt like a bubble popped from in front of you, body jolting at the voice.

“Ha?” your lips fell open as your body relaxed, letting Sam finally suck in so much ai,r the covers on Natsha’s bed almost went inside his mouth. Your jaw closed just so your throat could swallow a bit of spit seeing as it was feeling dry, before it opened back up. Sam’s body heat pulled your gaze down to him when you started to register the situation.

“Oh God!” you pulled away from him, apologies spilling out of you, too many in a second “I was sleepwalking again!”

  Dumbfound, that was exactly the expression on everyone’s face hearing you say that. You were used to your nightly habits, even your family found it natural at this point.

“Usually when I have nightmares I either mumble or sleepwalk.” Trying to explain yourself didn’t change what everyone was feeling.

“OW!” Steve screeched out upon feeling Tony’s fingers pinch his arm

“I am not dreaming am I? You all saw that too.” He felt Cap swat his hand away sending a warm wave of pain through his limb

“Test it on yourself next time!” he hissed

“I call that sleep fighting not walking.” Bruce pitched in feeling left out “You are trying to tell us you are…used to this?” your head nodded, roughed up hair flying back and forth

“My mom calls them night terrors. Tried to get help for it, but I guess the only one who could help me was my uncle. One of the reasons why I spend so much time with him.” You grinned trying to get out of this mess as fast as possible with less casualties

“I am stopping this now.”Tony threw his hands in the air “I am not awake enough to deal with all this...and that tiny assassin.” You followed him hastily to the kitchen whipping yourself a cup of tea and flying over to one of the seats. The rest of the Avengers followed your stumbling figure out of the room – slow steps, a mix of amazement and confusion, pain for some. Sam sat on the couch pretty far from you, keeping quiet. Your eyes scanned the room waiting for someone to say something or to cut the thick atmosphere with a butter knife.

“Can I take Y/N over from Nat?” Steve was the hero in this moment . Tony waved his hand, swallowing his almost cold coffee

“Do what you want, I am not capable of decisions right now.” The screeching floor yelped under the chair’s feet. Sam followed Bucky out the room, after Tony announced his departure. 

“Come with me kid.” Steve’s heavy yet warm hand fond your tense shoulder muscles. Your body jumped and followed the man like a small chick behind its mother. You ran to your room taking a quick shower, a dash of deodorant and putting on workout clothes. Washing yourself before sweating made no sense, but the warmth tended to relax you. Taking into consideration the amount of stress you were feeling for awhile now – it felt good.

  The gym was maybe 3 levels before the floor you lived on, information revealed to you in the not so comfortable awkward ride with the elevator. The doors slid open unveiling a whole new world. Stylish…there is nothing you could say at this point but Tony owned it, it talked for itself. Steve told you to leave the duffle bag onto a bench and come to the equipment. 

“Have you used any of these?” he pointed at the machines and you shook your head. You knew about them from youtube videos and maybe 1 or 2 gym visits, but saying up right being able to use them properly was questionable. “Ok, let’s start with a quick evaluation of your body’s capabilities.”

  With the corner of your eyes you could see Bucky lifting an absurd amount of weights – super soldier let’s not forget that again. You started first with the bar without anything on it, before Steve began adding. You were struggling, which made him know when to stop piling stuff and changing the muscle groups. What felt like 2 hours later he gave you a small break, walking over to his friend to spot him.

  A dust cloud swirled around the metal arm before the weights floated in the air. Once more finding yourself eyeing him head to toe – his arms were glistening from the sweat droplets forming onto them. The t-shirt was tightly clinging on his muscles like glue was applied to them previously. His hair fixed to patches of his lovable face. That untamed beard and ice blue eyes made his existence mirror that of a Greek God statue. Fingers tingling around your water bottle unknowingly wishing to touch him, before noticing Steve walking up to you – not before Bucky’s eyes met yours for a split second for who knows what time.

“He is a killer diller aint he.” The blonde snickered at your flushed face, being caught staring. Taking a quick drink from your bottle ,you stood up and threw it to Steve

“Grandstand.” you coughed out at the man leaving him stunned in place from what just erupted from your mouth “You coming?” you coaxed him successfully.

  Aside from the small playful teasing Cap tried to play on you,F on his best friend’s back - training was though. He wasn’t going easy on you, ass hitting the floor one too many times for your liking. You could already feel the bruises coloring your skin a midnight blue with a hint of a bloody red.

“Time out!” puffing out the words with the last liter of air left inside your lungs “I-I can’t Steve.” The dull thudding sound your legs made hitting the mat echoed in the big gym. It was loud enough to wake up the dead.

“That is enough for today. You did surprisingly well. Don’t you think Mr. Grandstrand?” a towel flung on top of your head turning off the lights in your mind. With a trembling hand you pulled it off to look at the one and only Sergeant, looming over you. Steve’s words summoned a low groan from Bucky filled with annoyance.

“Hey now, don’t snap your cap.” A type of teasing only possible between friends gone through decades and countless near death situations. The towel was soft enveloped in a calming and nostalgic smell. Having gained some of your strength back, your palms pushed off the floor with a fling. For a moment your demeanor mirrored that of Steve, calmly tapping Bucky’s back and throwing him a playful look, that of years long pals.

“Come on cap, don’t tease him that much. He gonn’ flip his wig soon.” The sentence dripping with a heavy old school Brooklyn accent. No war could prepare them both for this one sided conversation they just witnessed.

“Did she just?” Bucky pointed at you, finger hovering in the direction of your disappearing body silhouette.

“I don’t know man.” 

[hymn2000]

Freeze - MCU AU Fanfic - C16

(Title subject to change)

Previous chapter(s): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Story synopsis:- When a burst gas main destroys everything and leaves Peter with nothing, the Stark’s take him in. Thrown together by necessity, they then need to try to keep it together and build a new life. Devastated by loss, Peter doesn’t make things easy for them, and Loki and Tony struggle with their own grief and the responsibility of having someone completely dependant on them.

Chapter description:- Peter accepts his place at St Hendricks, but as the first day approaches, he feels like he’s made a horrible mistake

Story warnings/themes: character death, hurt/comfort, trauma, grief, depression/mental health issues, bullying, corporal punishment

Relationships: Frostiron (Loki x Tony) (romantic), Tony and Peter (platonic), Loki and Peter (platonic)

From the same AU as Called To Be A Rock

Chapter 16 - It’s Complicated But Understand Me

-

Tony let Peter think. He was busy thinking too, but more about his absent husband and less about the school. To him, the school was easy. It was a great school and they wanted Peter. Giving the kid a choice was a bit of a trust exercise: he knew that if he had any sense, he'd accept the place. 

Loki was far more tricky. He'd sent a few postcards, all with impersonal messages, and from locations with little to no correlation. At first it had seemed like a redo of the honeymoon, but soon the postcards came from other places. He never wrote more than a sentence, and he never gave a return address.

Tony didn't know where to start. Loki had, on occasion, disappeared for a day or two. But when he did this, he always took his phone, kept in touch, and told Tony exactly where he was. He never went out of the country without prior notice, and he had never done anything like this before. Tony couldn't guess where he was going to go next. Truthfully, he wanted to leave him to it, let him sort himself out. But, he also wanted more than one line scribbled in a different language on a postcard. He wanted to know he was ok. He wanted to know that he was definitely coming back soon. He'd promised in his initial letter, but that didn't mean anything. Even if he kept to his promise, he might not be back for years. That was something Tony had to face up to. His husband had walked out on him, and he didn't know if he was going to come back. And if he did come back, he didn't know whether he'd be back for good. 

- 

Peter spent most of Saturday and Sunday at the library. One benefit of not being at school was that he could go there. Tony never had a problem with it, provided that he was back at a reasonable time. Peter had grown fond of Abby, the librarian, and was happy spending his days talking to her, and sitting in the armchair reading and forgetting the world.

- 

On Sunday evening, Tony sat down in the kitchen with Peter. 

"Have you made a decision about St Hendricks yet?" 

Peter shrugged. He'd been trying not to think about it. 

"You know we have to let them know tomorrow. You need to decide. It's high time you were back at school anyway. You've been sitting around the house for long enough" 

"I haven't been sitting around the house: I've been at the library" Peter pointed out. 

"Don't be pedantic. Now, please, have another think about St Hendricks" he checked his watch. "It's six o' clock now. I want an answer by no later than eight. Ok?" 

Peter nodded. 

"Ok. Off you go, then" 

Peter went off to his room and flopped down on the bed. He thought about St Hendricks. He thought about the head teacher and the boarding master and the legality of corporal punishment and the uniforms and the social class. He thought about the science lab and the drama studio and the swimming pool and the locker room. He thought about the old wooden doors and the stone walls and the sports fields. 

And he thought about Tony. He might be pretending everything was ok, but Peter still heard him crying at night. He knew Tony was heartbroken. And he also knew he was doing his best despite that. He thought about the look on his face while they were looking round St Hendricks. He thought about how impressed and hopeful he had seemed. 

Part of Peter wanted to reject the school. He didn't want to be lumped in with a load of rich kids and strict teachers. He didn't want to sit in a classroom day after day pretending he cared about schoolwork and trying to keep up appearances. It would save Tony money too. Peter had seen the list of school fees they'd been given, and he'd been surprised and a little bit horrified to find just how much they were. He knew Tony was rich, unbelievably so, but he still didn't understand how he could be happy shelling out thousands of dollars a term for his education. Maybe he was mad. 

- 

Peter stayed quiet all through dinner. He stayed quiet while he washed up and helped tidy the kitchen. He stayed quiet when they went to the living room and put the telly on while Tony started looking at spreadsheets on his laptop. He kept an eye on the time. 

At eight o' clock, Tony closed his laptop and turned to the boy. 

"It's eight o' clock, sweetheart" 

Peter looked at him. He really, really didn't want to go. He swallowed hard, and opened his mouth to say so. 

"Ok" 

He surprised himself, and Tony looked at him. 

"Ok? Is that a yes?" 

Peter paused. He wanted so badly to shake his head. But he looked at Tony, and he knew just how disappointed he'd be if he did. So he nodded. 

"Yes. I-I'll accept the place" 

Tony moved his laptop aside and hugged the boy close. "We'll get you kitted out this week then, son" 

Peter rested his chin on Tony's shoulder and closed his eyes. This was a mistake, he just knew it. It would be just like the last school. 

- 

Peter did hope that Tony might change his mind. He woke up late on Monday morning, and went through to the kitchen, still half asleep. 

"It's all sorted" Tony said, smiling at him. "You're starting next Monday" 

"What?!" Peter exclaimed, suddenly wide awake. "But I'm not ready! It's too soon!" 

"Peter, darling. You've had time. Your bruises are mostly gone. We'll get your uniform and everything else this week, and we'll be fully prepared and ready for you to start"

"But-" 

"Ah, now don't argue with me. You have to start some time, and I rather think sooner is better than later" 

Peter tried to think of an excuse. "But what about Loki?" 

This comment stopped Tony in his tracks. He was quiet for a moment, but then swallowed very hard and looked at him properly. 

"We don't know when he's coming back, if at all" Tony said. "We can't wait around just so he can send you off in the morning. No, you'll start on Monday"

"No! I don't want to!" 

"Peter, you will start at St Hendricks on Monday morning and that's final!" 

He said it so firmly that Peter dare not argue. 

"I'll drive you, of course. It's a little far to walk, so it'll be lifts every day" Tony said. "They'll need to go through some stuff with you on Monday morning so we'll aim to get there early. Hey, I'm up to date with my work, so maybe we should go out now and get a few bits" 

"Oh. Um, well, I was gonna go the the library" 

"Ok, ok. Tomorrow then?" 

Peter nodded. He supposed they'd have to go sooner or later. 

- 

The next few days were an uncomfortable mad rush. Tony had a great time - Peter did not. He was pushed from shop to shop and grew more and more stressed by the minute. He got stroppy with Tony, but Tony didn't let it put him off. He stayed calm and fairly happy for three days of shopping, excited by the prospect of Peter starting at a school like St Hendricks. 

On Thursday night, Peter sat on the bed and looked at all of his new things. He felt that, by rights, he should be excited. But he wasn't. He looked at his new shoes and satchel and pencil case and stationary set. He looked at his new notebook and water bottle and trainers and football boots. He looked at his tennis and badminton rackets, at his lacrosse and hockey sticks and his various PE uniforms. He looked at his actual uniform, hung up on the wardrobe, with its painfully smart shirt and trousers, it's burgundy and navy striped blazer, and its tie. There was no mistaking that it was anything other than a private school uniform. He was adamant that he'd never wear the hat. 

He looked at all the extras, the new socks and underwear and an expensive wrist watch. He looked at the towel and PE kit bag and the hand sanitiser and box of plasters and gloves and boiled sweets. He looked at his new wallet and tin of shoe polish. 

And he hated all of it. 

- 

With all the shopping done, Peter escaped and went to the library on Friday. Abby quickly realised he was upset. 

"What's the matter, chicken?" 

"I'm starting school on Monday. Dad's gone and got me a whole load of new stuff. I know I should be grateful, and I kinda am, but I just, I'm just..."  

"Scared?" 

Peter nodded. "What if it all goes wrong?" 

"What if it doesn't?"

Peter blinked. "I really don't want to go" 

"I know, chicken. But you don't have a choice. You need your education" 

"I know. But I don't think I can. Everything is still so difficult" 

"You need to let yourself heal" she gave him a hug. "When my Martha died, God rest her soul, I spent a long time refusing to recover. Once you make the decision to move on, it'll get easier. It will still hurt, and you'll still miss her, of course you will. But it will move to the back of your mind. Maybe having something to occupy yourself will help" 

"I hope you're right...”

“But you don’t think I am, do you?”

Peter shrugged slightly. “It’s all so hard. I didn’t realise I was so weak until it happened”

“I don’t think you’re weak. You’re allowed to struggle, and you’re allowed to grieve”

Peter sighed. “I wish I didn’t have to go. I’m just fed up”

“Of course you are. Is that why you come here? To escape from it all?”

“Kind of. Being here, that first time, it was the happiest I’d felt since the accident. It’s kinda comforting... It is an escape though. I don’t like home much right now. I’ve got to go to the doctors this afternoon too. I don’t want to do that either”

“We all have to do things we don’t want to do. Sometimes those things we don’t want to do turn out to be for the best. You just have to stick at it. Things do get better, you know”

-

Tony picked Peter up from the library in time to take him to the doctors for his jabs. In the car on the way home, he brought up one of Peter’s most hated subjects.

“The school has registered you with their on-site therapist”

“What?! But dad, I said I don’t want to talk to anyone!”

“Yes, and that’s exactly why I think you should. It really does help. You’ll have two sessions a week, and then it’ll go down depending on your progress”

Peter stared at him. “Please don’t do this! Call them up and say you’ve changed your mind”

“No. Now stop arguing. It’s about time you learnt how to do as you’re told”

Peter folded his arms over his chest and turned away from him. Tony sighed.

“Look, sometimes when I make you do things you don’t want to do, it really is for the best. We need to be proactive about your recovery” 

Peter didn’t say anything.

“Look, kid, I care about you. I’m only trying to do what’s best”

“Have you had any more postcards?”

Tony sighed heavily. “The postman hadn’t been when I left”

-

The postman had been when they returned to the house. There was a padded envelope on the doorstep. Tony opened it, and found another smaller padded envelope, addressed to Peter. 

“Here, this is yours” he handed it to the boy, taking the postcard out of the big envelope.

It wasn’t quite a postcard, although the back was set out like one. It was a photograph of Pooley Bridge. There was no real message this time, just ‘Loki xxx’ written on the back.

“What does it say?” Peter asked.

Tony showed him. “What’s in yours?”

“Oh. Um”

Peter opened the envelope, and found a big bag of flying saucer sweets. A note on scrap paper was taped to it, which read ‘sorry’ in Loki’s familiar writing. Peter read that one word over and over.

“He hasn’t forgotten” Peter said eventually. 

“No” Tony said, looking back at the photograph in his hand. “He hasn’t”

-

Peter lost it on Sunday night. Absolutely, flat-out, lost it. 

“Hey hey hey, come on now, what’s all that noise about?” Tony hugged him tight, rubbing his back. “Come on now. Have you hurt yourself?”

“I don’ wanna go to school!”

“That’s what this is about?” Tony took a very deep breath. “Darling, come on, quiet now. It’s gonna be fine. There won’t be another Ryan”

“How do you know?!”

“I just do”

He didn’t, of course: he just hoped. He needed Peter to settle. He was willing to look after him, but all of the disturbed nights from Peter’s nightmares were beginning to take their toll.

“Listen to me, Peter. If you keep convincing yourself that it’s going to be horrible and that you’ll hate it, then it will be, and you will. So you need to go in with an open mind. It could be fun?” he tried.

“How could it possibly be fun?” Peter cried. “I don’ wanna go to some jolly-hockey-sticks posh-nob school”

“You’ve already accepted the place. You’re going. I know you’re scared, and I know you’re hurting, but you haven’t got a choice. Come on, stop crying now. You need to have a bath and an early night”

“What’s the point?”

“Peter, don’t be difficult” 

“I’m not being difficult!”

“Yes, you are” Tony said, holding him at arms length. “Stop”

Peter sniffed, wiping his eyes and nose on his sleeve. He kept his hand up by his mouth, trying to calm down. 

“Breathe” Tony went over to the sink, filling him a glass of water. “Here”

Peter took the glass and took a gulp.

“Ah, you’ll give yourself hiccups. Just sip it. Slowly”

Peter did as he was told. He was tired out.

“Good. Right. Sit down”

Peter did. Tony sat next to him, stroking his hair back over his sweaty forehead.

“You’re so thin now, son” he said sadly. “What happened to my sparky little lad who could quite easily eat me out of house and home?”

“A building fell on his head”

Tony flinched slightly. “Peter. It’s nearly April now”

Peter knew what he was getting at. The accident had happened nearly three months ago. Sometimes it felt like much longer. Sometimes it felt like it had only happened last week.

“The therapy sessions will help” Tony said. “You’ll get better. I just think you need some help”

“What if I never get better?”

“You will. I did. And... Loki did... You’re allowed to move on, you know”

“I thought I was dead”

Tony drew his hand back. “What?”

“When I woke up. And it was all cloudy and foggy and dusty and there were flashing lights and unrecognisable voices and everything felt heavy”

Tony squeezed his shoulder.

“I texted Ned today” Peter said. “I don’t know why. I hadn’t replied for ages”

“What did you say?”

Peter took his phone out, opening the right message and showing it to him. 

[Ned] Flash asked after you today! D: o: 

[Peter] Hey Ned. Sorry I haven’t been replying. I’m not trying to cut you off. I’m just having a hard time. I’m not coming back to Midtown. I went to another school for a while but it didn’t work out. I’m starting another one on Monday. Hope everything is ok with you

[Ned] It’s good to hear from you! Good luck on Monday! Maybe we can meet up soon? 

“You haven’t replied to this last one”

“I couldn’t think of what to say. I never can” 

Tony handed him the phone back. “Go and have your bath”

-

Peter would let Tony say goodnight. He slammed his bedroom door and insisted on being left alone. As he attempted to settle down and sleep, his mind was filled with the book he’d just finished. He’d found it on Loki’s shelves in the reading nook, a childs book about two girls who move to a boarding school with their parents. He’d started it because of the school, but got more than he bargained for. The final twist saw the death of one of the sisters as she plummeted from the school tower, and this swamped Peter’s mind. He’d cried reading the final chapter, and he screwed his face up now, trying to block out the feeling of falling. 

He fell asleep, but the story invaded his subconscious. Looking back, he wasn’t sure if, in the dream, he was experiencing it, or if he was the girl from the book. He was tangled in hot and cold, balancing precariously, the evening wind blowing in his face as the window disappeared. He heard the screams, saw the bright flashes from fireworks filling the sky. The crowd shrieked, and he shouted to let them know it was only him, tugging the shawl from his head, tugging too hard - wobbling, slipping, falling. All in a second, he watched the tower window get further away, watched the ground get closer, seeing his death, terrified, screaming - 

Peter woke up, tangled in his bedding, still screaming in the pitch black, trapped between dream and reality, unable to see, unable to breathe, unable to see what was real and what was not.

In an instant strange light flooded the room, hands untangled him from the quilt and pulled him close. 

“Hey, ok, ok darling, I’ve got you, you’re ok”

“No! No! Help, please help, don’t let me fall! I’m sorry, Pearl! Help!!” Peter screamed.

Tony held him tight, stroking his hair firmly. “It was just a dream. It was only a dream. I’ve got you. You’re safe, Peter. You’re safe with me”

Peter stopped screaming, coming back to reality, and starting to sob instead. Tony rocked him, trying to calm here.

“There now, sweetheart. Shh. It was just a dream”

He couldn’t help thinking that something had to be done about these nightmares. He knew Peter would refuse a doctors appointment, but maybe he’d have to force him, just this once. It wasn’t that he was fed up comforting and looking after the boy; it was just that the disturbed nights were wearing him out. 

-

Once Peter had stopped crying, Tony gently pushed him off his lap so they could talk face-to-face. 

“There now. Are you alright?”

Peter wiped his face with his sleeve and said nothing. 

“Sweetheart. Talk to me”

“I’m so scared... I can’t go to this school, I just can’t”

“What happened in your nightmare?” 

Peter turned his head away. He didn’t want to talk about it, and Tony realised this.

“Ok. Whatever it was, it was just a dream. Nothing more” he checked his watch. “It’s late, and you’ve got to be up in the morning. Let’s get you a drink and then see if you can get back to sleep”

-

Peter had his drink and sat quietly with the empty glass in his hands. Tony gave him a quick hug.

"Ok, back to sleep now” he said, standing up and taking the glass from him. “You need the rest” 

Peter swallowed hard. “I can’t do this” 

Tony sighed. “You’ve gotta go to school, kiddo. Look, it was just a dream. You’re fine. Go back to sleep”

“I can’t stop thinking about it”

“The nightmare?”

“The book”

“Which book?”

Peter picked a book up from the floor, handing it to him. Tony vaguely recognised it. Loki had read it before, he was sure. He flicked through the pages, catching a few words about boarding schools and attic rooms. He flicked to the back, reading the final event and skim-reading the aftermath. He sighed heavily.

“This is a kids book, an absolute work of fiction, and you’re letting it dictate your feelings towards St Hendricks. Please, just be reasonable. Reading drama books and making silly stereotype-based assumptions is so counterproductive. You’re just working yourself up into a silly state over nothing”

“It might be a drama but it’s not fantasy! It could happen, you know it could!”

“No it couldn’t. Now stop being so silly. You’ve been offered a place at a prestigious private school - which you accepted - which will set you up for life. It’s an incredible opportunity and you need to understand how lucky you are to be presented with it”

“That’s what they said in the book” Peter mumbled.

“Will you just forget the silly book, please?” he turned the book over in his hands, glancing at the blurb. “Next time you want to read something, bring it to me first so I can decide whether or not it’s suitable. I don’t care if it’s kids books; if they’re giving you nightmares, I’m not letting you read them”

“The thought of school is what’s giving me nightmares”

“The sooner you start your lessons and counselling sessions, the better. Settle down. I’m going back to bed soon” 

“I don’ wanna be alone...” Peter whimpered, knuckling his eyes.

Tony sighed. “Ok, alright, alright. I’ll stay with you”

He made Peter lie down and climbed into bed beside him, tucking him in and holding him close. 

“Now go to sleep”

-

Peter felt sick when he woke up. Truly, dreadfully sick. His head was banging, his throat was sore, his mouth was dry, and he felt weird and shaky.

“Let’s get your breakfasted” Tony said. “Before you get dressed. I don’t want you spilling stuff all down your new uniform”

Peter looked at his uniform, set out waiting for him. It made him feel even worse.

“I don’t feel well...” he croaked.

“You’re just nervous. You’ll feel better with a full stomach, trust me. Come on, get up! Big day today!”

Peter stayed where he was, shivering. Tony felt his forehead.

“You’re fine. We’ll have breakfast, and then you can have a quick wash and get dressed. We’ve got plenty of time yet”

-

Peter felt a lot less ill after having breakfast and a wash, but he still felt sick with nerves. He was scared, and he didn’t know how to deal with it, so he kicked off. 

“Peter, how many times? You’re going whether you like it or not”

“Well I don’t like it! I don’t wanna go to school with a bunch of toffee-nosed twats!”

“Peter! How many times do I have to tell you not to swear? I should wash your mouth out with soap” he shook his head. “Now go and get into your uniform”

“No! I don’t want to do this! It’s not fair!” 

Tony looked at him, feeling fed up. He knew he was playing up because he was upset and scared. The tears in his eyes were proof enough of that. Still, it wasn’t the best time for him to kick off. Tony grabbed him and dragged him to his room.

“Ow! Hey, what are you doing?”

“Well, if you won’t get into your uniform yourself, then I’ll do it for you”

-

Within a couple of minutes, Tony had managed to quench Peter’s anger. With the boy calm (but still crying delicately), Tony managed to coax him into his school clothes. Peter stood awkwardly, shuffling inside his new uniform. 

“I don’t like it. Why does it have to be so tight?”

“It’s not tight, Peter: it’s fitted. You look good, like a proper little gent. Hey, do your top button back up! Stand up straight, lets get a proper look at you” he twitched Peter’s uniform, tweaking his collar and straightening his tie and blazer. “There. Put your hat and shoes on”

“I’m not wearing the hat”

“Oh, go on; it’ll be dead cute”

“I’m not wearing the hat”

“Fine, fine. Get your shoes on then” 

He picked up Peter’s new satchel, checking the contents and nodding approvingly. 

“Why did we have to get a satchel?” Peter asked, wrinkling his nose as Tony did the straps back up. “I’m used to backpacks”

“It’s a backpack satchel” Tony pointed out. “You can wear it just the same. It’s just loads nicer”

Peter looked at the thin straps and buckle closings on the brown leather. Tony saw his face.

“It’s a lovely bag! Don’t you like it? It's a proper bag, not one of your chainstore rubbish ones that only lasts five minutes”

Peter knew. He’d been there when they’d bought it. Tony hadn’t blinked handing over $250 for the simple bag (“It’s real leather, a proper Cambridge Satchel Company bag”). Peter had objected, saying the $10 ones he always had were more than good enough, but Tony had said that if he was going to a proper posh school, he should have the bag to match. He hadn’t given him much say in any of his school supplies. Peter tried hard not to be ungrateful, but he didn’t like the satchel, or a lot of the other stuff. He still found it hard to understand how Tony could spend so much money on a single item without blinking. 

- 

"It's freezing out there today. Where did you put your new coat?" 

Peter whined quietly. The duffel coat Tony had bought him was another hated item. He'd shoved it in the back of the shoe cupboard, hoping Tony wouldn't remember it. 

"Can't I just wear a hoodie?" 

"Certainly not! I don't think hoodies are St Hendricks approved. Your new coat is lovely. Where is it?" 

"In the shoe cupboard" 

"Go and get it, then!" 

Peter didn't have a choice. He retrieved the coat, holding it over his arm. 

"Put it on then" Tony said. 

"Do I have to?" 

"Yes. Come on, you can't go out without a coat, not on a day like today" 

Peter reluctantly pulled the coat on. Tony did the buttons and toggles up for him.

"It looks good!" 

Peter wasn't convinced. "I look like Oliver Tate" 

Tony laughed. Peter undid the buttons and toggles, adjusting the coat edges. He looked at himself in the mirror. It was certainly better undone. He kept looking at himself, in his smart shoes and uniform and posh coat. He didn't look like himself at all. 

"Hey, don't cry!" Tony pulled him close. "I know, you're nervous" 

"I don't want to go! It doesn't feel right!" he went to wipe his eyes with his sleeve, but Tony stopped him quickly. 

"Not on your sleeve! Here" he felt in Peter's front blazer pocket, pulling out the handkerchief Loki had given him, and dabbing at the boys face. "You don't want soggy cuffs on your new uniform" 

"I can't use that in school!" 

"Of course you can! All the other kids will. Come on now, stop crying. You don't want to turn up with red eyes now, do you?" 

Peter focused on his breathing, and after a few minutes he was quiet. Mostly. Tony kissed his nose. 

"Right, I think we'd better be going soon" Tony said. "Did you brush your hair this morning?" 

"Um.." 

Tony grabbed a comb and dragged it through Peter's hair. 

"Oooowww! You're pulling my head off!" 

"Don't be such a drama queen. It's all knotted. Honestly Peter, have the gorilla's been at it in the night?" 

"I don't know, have you?" 

"Oi! Cheeky! Hold still, will you? It'll take longer if you keep wiggling" 

Peter whined and stopped struggling. It felt like Tony was carving grooves into his skull with the comb, and he was relieved when he stopped. 

"There" Tony said. "Much better" 

"Is it?" 

"Yes. Now" he picked up Peter's satchel and handed it to him. "Let's get you to school" 

- 

Peter sat in the car with the posh satchel on his lap, looking down at his highly polished shoes. Everything about it felt so wrong. 

When they parked up in front of the school he felt like he really might throw up. It was eight thirty. Tony had said they'd been told to get there early. They had things to sort out, he said. 

"Good morning Peter, Mr Stark" Mr Pipe-Fowler greeted them at reception. 

He had another student with him, a pretty girl in the top year with long blonde hair and a big smile. Her short skirt showed off a lot of long, thin leg. Peter looked up at Mr Pipe-Fowler instead. 

"My, my, you really are nervous!" he said, looking at the trembling boy before him. "Now, I've got something for you" 

He handed Peter an A4 size whiteboard, thick with wooden edges, and a four-pack of dry erase markers; black, blue, red, and green. Peter took it, struggling to keep hold of it he was shaking so much. He looked at Tony for answers. 

"We understand you're non-verbal" Mr Pipe-Fowler continued. "So you can use the whiteboard to communicate with us. Now, these are also for you" he handed him a ring bound school planner, and a timetable. "We do things by week here. You'll notice that your timetable is split into week one and week two. It's always advertised in reception which week it is, so you shouldn't get stuck. This week is week one, so you'll be looking at the top timetable. Please take care of your planner. All of your homework slips and important notices will need to go in there. Now, I believe you've been told about seeing Miss Marns?" 

Peter looked at Tony again, but Mr Pipe-Fowler answered. 

"She's our on-site therapist" he said. "We've put you down for two sessions a week right now. Mondays and Thursdays. You'll be delivered a note telling you where to go for it" 

Peter looked at his feet. He felt embarrassed having it talked about to openly, especially in front of the girl, who was still by the headmasters side. 

"Now, Peter, I'd like you to meet Alison. She's going to be your Big Sister" 

Peter looked up, and Alison grinned at him. 

"Hey, Little Brother!" 

Even Tony seemed confused now. "Big Sister?" he questioned. 

"It's something of a scheme we use when people join us mid-term. At the start of a term, the children tend to learn their way around together with the maps, (there's one on the back of your timetable), but of course this doesn't happen with single children joining. Alison here will show Peter around, taking him to and from lessons, letting him get to know the layout for the first three days. On the last two days of the week, she will see him in the morning and afternoon, and after that, twice a week to see how he's getting on. She'll look after him" 

"Oh, I see" Tony said. "Well, that sounds like a good idea to me" 

"You'll be in form H3, Peter" he said. "Alison here will guide you" he checked his watch. "It's nearly time for registration. Say goodbye to your father now"

A big part of Peter wanted to scream and shout and cling to Tony and refuse to let go. But he was shaking so much he could hardly move, and his eyes were so filled with tears that he could hardly see. Peter looked at Tony. Behind them, he saw a girl about his own age hugging her father goodbye. No one made fun of her or started shouting things. Peter swallowed very hard and hugged Tony as tight as he could with full hands. He started crying properly, burying his face in his chest.

“I’ll pick you up again after school” he held him at arms length. “No tears, please”

Peter couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to be left here, not on his own. He wanted to go back to the house. 

“Right, be good” Tony kissed Peter’s forehead. “I’ll see you after school”

He chucked him under the chin, bid farewell to Mr Pipe-Fowler, smiled at Alison, and left Peter in their capable hands.

-

Mr Pipe-Fowler wished Peter luck, told him to smile, and left him with Alison. Alison put an arm round his shoulders and hugged him.

“First days are tough” she said. “I joined mid-term, just like you, in the first year. The thought of starting is always worse than the reality”

Peter didn’t say anything. He went to wipe his eyes on his sleeve, thought better of it, and used his handkerchief instead. 

“So, you’re in H3″ she said, walking along with her arm still round him. “Your form tutor is Mrs Hathersage. She’s lovely. She teaches English, and she covers Performing Arts sometimes too. I don’t think she teaches your form though” 

Peter looked at his new white board and pens. He supposed it was a good idea. He thought he should probably write a message to Alison, but he didn’t feel like saying anything at all. He was too scared. Alison didn’t seem to mind. She chatted away to him as she guided him to the H3 form room. 

She didn’t knock, just pushed the door open. The lady stood behind the desk smiled at them.

Alison grinned. “I’ve got your newest form member!” 

“Oh yes, Peter Parker, isn’t it?” She smiled, holding a hand out to Peter. “I’m Mrs Hathersage. I’ll be your form tutor”

Peter shook hands even though he didn’t really want to. He felt ok under Alison’s arm, but meeting new people still felt like a dreadful thing. He glanced round the room. It was surprisingly empty, with less than half of the seats taken. No one was really looking, too absorbed in their own conversations. 

“We’re a bit thin on the ground right now, as you can see” Mrs Hathersage said. “Half the class are away on the Spanish trip. They’ll be back for lessons next week”

Alison gave Peter a quick squeeze. “I’ve got to go and register in my own form, but I’ll be back to take you to your first lesson”

Mrs Hathersage smiled at her. “Thank you, Ali. I’ll see you soon”

Alison gave Peter one final squeeze and skipped off, waving as she went. Peter looked at the space where she’d been, and slowly back to Mrs Hathersage. He could feel everyone looking at him now. It was only a matter of time before things went wrong. He stood there not knowing what to do, shaking like a leaf, tears still in his eyes.

He felt so alone.

*

[hymn2000]

Freeze - MCU AU Fanfic - C9

(Title subject to change)

Previous chapter(s): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Story synopsis:- When a burst gas main destroys everything and leaves Peter with nothing, the Stark’s take him in. Thrown together by necessity, they then need to try to keep it together and build a new life. Devastated by loss, Peter doesn’t make things easy for them, and Loki and Tony struggle with their own grief and the responsibility of having someone completely dependant on them.

Chapter description:- Tony is still struggling, unbearably so, and Peter doesn’t make it easy for him. Ryan pushes Peter to breaking point

Chapter warnings/themes: character death, hurt/comfort, trauma, grief, depression/mental health issues, bullying, corporal punishment, violence, descriptions of injury

Relationships: Frostiron (Loki x Tony) (romantic), Tony and Peter (platonic), Loki and Peter (platonic)

From the same AU as Called To Be A Rock

Chapter 9 - Throw It All Away

-

Tony made Peter sit up.

“This is what’s going to happen” he said. “You are going to go to school. You are going to do your work, take down your homework, and you are going to come home. And after that, you will sit with me and do your homework. And then, we will do extra lessons for two hours. And then you will go to bed. That’s it. And things will continue like this until your grades are up, and a little longer besides. No objections. This starts on Monday. Now, have you got any questions?”

“...Do you think May would be ashamed of me?”

“She’s be ashamed of your grades” Tony said carefully. “Anything else?”

Peter shook his head.

“Right” he wasn’t sure what else to say to him. “Go to sleep”

“But I haven’t had tea yet”

“And you won’t have any” Tony said firmly. “Now lay down and go to sleep. That’s not a suggestion, Peter”

Peter didn’t move. Tony sighed heavily, taking hold of his shoulders and forcing him onto his back. Peter grabbed his shirt. Tony sighed.

“What are you doing, Peter?”

“I need a hug”

Tony looked into his tearful eyes and sighed. He pulled him close. He was warm - hot - and shaking. Despite his anger, Tony felt sorry for him. 

“We can’t carry on like this, Peter” 

“It’s so hard...”

“I know”

“It hasn’t even been two months yet”

Tony closed his eyes for a moment. “I know” 

He let go of him and stood up. “Go to sleep”

He left the room before Peter could do anything to make him stay. 

-

The mood had dropped drastically by morning. Peter was furious with himself and with the world. He was sick of being stuck here all the time. 

"You said you'd take me out today" Peter said, finding Tony in the living room. 

"I said maybe, if you were good" Tony said. "But you haven't been good, have you?" 

"So? I'm sick of this house. I'm going out" 

Tony stood up and grabbed him. "No, you're not. You're grounded" 

"What?! Why?!"  

"Because you're a bad kid and you're still in trouble. You stay here" 

Peter pushed his hand away. "It's not fair!" 

"It's not raining either" 

Peter lost it. "I HATE IT HERE! I hate it! I don't want to stay here anymore!" 

"Oh Peter, for gods sake, don't start" 

"Well why not?! You never listen to me anyway! I wish I didn't have to live with you! I wish it was just me and Loki. We'd be better off without you!" 

Tony was done being patient. "Well that's just tough! What, you think you and Loki are gonna go off and play happy families? Get real, Peter. What makes you think he'd choose you over me?" 

"Shut up! I want nothing to do with you! You don't care about me anyway!" 

"Oh really, is that so? I don't care? Why did I take you in then, hey? Just for something to do? Don't be an idiot. I took you in because I love you, even though you're driving me totally insane" 

"If you really cared you'd never have sent me to that stupid school!" 

"Oh for the love of all that is good in this world! How many times do I have to say it? Your old school is too far away from here. You have to go to the one closest to us. Is that why you've been so stupid at school? Because you're bitter about leaving your old one?" 

"No!" Peter said indignantly. "It's a rubbish school and I hate it! I've said it thousands of times!" 

"Yes, but you've never given us a reason, valid or otherwise" 

"Why do I need a reason?! I hate it and that's all you need to know! I don't wanna go there any more!" 

"Well that's just tough! You will continue to go to that school, you will do your work and you will behave yourself, do you understand me?" 

"Of course I understand you! I'm not thick. But I don't agree with you so I'm not gonna do it" 

"You will do as you're bloody well told, young man! If it means that I have to drag you there every day, then so be it. I'm not going to let you throw your life away"

Peter growled. "I don't have to listen to you! You're not my dad!" 

"I'm your legal guardian and you will either do as you're told, or suffer the consequences of disobeying me. Your choice" 

"It's not fair! I'm going to Mr Loki" 

"Go then. He'll tell you exactly the same as me" 

"He won't! He's just as much my guardian as you are. More, in fact" 

Tony crossed his arms over his chest. "Is that so? And how did you come to that conclusion?" 

"Because I actually want him, and I don't want you!" 

"That doesn't make him more of a guardian. You think ‘want’ has anything to do with this? Do you think every kid out there wants their parents? Because they don't. I never wanted my father, but I was stuck with him anyway. And you might not want me, but you've got me, and I'm all you have got now" 

"Well I hate you! You're a rubbish guardian and I wish I'd been taken into foster care instead of being dragged home with you!" 

Tony knew deep down that he was just saying it because he was angry, but it still hurt. 

"Fine, you want to go into foster care? I'll call Ms Allen then, shall I? She's an efficient woman. No doubt she'll be able to find you a foster placement today and have you out of here by tonight. Better start packing your bags" 

Peter stared at him for a moment, hot tears dripping down his cheeks. "Ring her then! See if I care! I'll be glad to be shot of this place! I never want to see you again!" 

"Fine, I'll call her now then. You hate it here so much? Well let's send you away, see how happy it makes you" 

"I don't have to listen to this! I'm sick of the sight of you! I hate you!" 

"Well go to your room then, you ungrateful little brat!" Tony shouted. "I've got a phone call to make" 

"FINE" Peter yelled, and he stormed out of the room. 

- 

Peter burst into Loki's room. Loki looked up from his book. 

"Peter? Hey, what's wrong?" 

Peter collapsed onto Loki's chest and cried his eyes out. 

"Oh sweetheart" Loki set his book around and pulled a blanket round him. He held him tight and rubbed his back firmly. "It's alright, darling, I've got you" 

- 

Tony dialled Li Allen's number, his heart thumping. He tried hard to breathe evenly. As usual, the phone was answered promptly.  

"Good morning, Mr Stark" 

"Morning Ms Allen..." 

"How can I help you?" 

Tony took a deep breath. "You know, last time we talked... You said there was someone I could call? If I was struggling?" 

"Yes, there is a helpline I can put you in touch with. Is everything alright? How's Peter?" 

"Miserable and difficult" Tony answered. "He's just... I don't know. I don't really understand him right now. He was always such a good kid" 

"And now?" Li persisted. 

"He just keeps acting out. He's been in trouble at school for hurting some kid. He played truant for a full week while I was away, and he was really deceptive and sneaky about it. I mean, he even printed off worksheets so he could pretend he was doing homework! He ran away from home the other day too. We found him at the airport. He's rude and disruptive and he's still not eating properly. And we got his school report yesterday and it was atrocious. Turns out he hasn't been doing any work at school whatsoever. I don't know what to do with him. I just keep getting cross" 

Li listened patiently. "I know it's tough. People really change after they go through something traumatic. Is he still refusing to see a councillor?" 

"Yeah. He won't talk to me properly either. He's still a human fountain, crying constantly. He's so argumentative sometimes too..." 

"Have you just had an argument?" she asked. She'd noticed the slight tremble in his voice, not to mention the stress. 

"Yes, we have" he admitted. 

"How did it end?" 

Tony shifted. "With me threatening to send him into foster care and him saying he hates me" 

"Mr Stark, you know what I told you right at the start? It's ok to admit if you aren't coping. You and your husband are allowed a break. If you're really struggling, I can organise something for Peter. Short term foster placements are easy enough to come by-" 

"No" Tony said quickly. "No, I couldn't. I couldn't do that to him. Even though he said he hates it here, even though he said he wished he'd been taken into care, I know he was just speaking out of anger. He'd never forgive me if I sent him away, even just for a week. He’d feel so betrayed" 

"Ok. Well in that case, I think we need to offer some more support to you. I'll email you the contact details for that helpline. I'm afraid they just changed phone number and I don't know it off by heart yet" 

"Thank you. I'm sorry, but this is just getting really hard" 

"I know" she said sympathetically. "How's Loki doing? Can’t you talk to him about it?" 

"Loki's great. He's always been brilliant to vent to, but he's struggling as well, and I just - well, it'd be good to talk to someone impartial, y'know?" 

"I understand, Mr Stark, I do" Li said. "Now, I apologise for changing the subject, but I am glad you called" 

"Oh?" 

"Yes. I was meaning to call to schedule another visit. I've not had a chance to talk to Peter since we met at the hospital. I understand he was otherwise engaged during my other visits" 

"Oh. Right. Yes. Uhh. When were you thinking?" 

"Ideally as soon as possible. I do like to keep up to date. I understand you're a busy man, Mr Stark. Are you free Monday evening, by any chance?"

"Um" Tony thought for a minute. "Yeah, I'm free" 

"How does that suit you? What time does Peter finish school?" 

"He usually gets back around quarter to four" 

"How does five o' clock suit you?" 

Tony nodded slightly. "Five is fine. I-I'll see you Monday" 

"Thank you. I'll see you then. I'll put a reminder in the email for you. Is there anything else you would like to discuss?" 

"No, I think I'm ok. Thank you. For listening to me" 

"Of course. It's my job"  

"Yes... But thank you anyway. See you later, Ms Allen" 

"Good day, Mr Stark. Goodbye now" 

- 

Tony was slightly annoyed to find Peter in Loki's room. 

"Loki, can I have a word?"

Loki looked down at the boy sprawled across his chest. "I'm a little preoccupied just now" 

Peter whined, covering his ears with his hands. Loki cuddled him close. Tony sighed. 

"Ms Allen is coming round on Monday night"

Loki nodded. "Right" 

Tony looked at him. "What's up? Have I done something wrong?" 

"I'm just worried about the kid" Loki said. "He's acting funny" 

"Isn't he always? He's just attention seeking" 

"He is here, you know" Loki frowned. 

"I'm going out" Tony suddenly decided. "Do you need anything from the shops?"

"Painkillers" 

"Right. See you later then" 

- 

Ryan sat tracing circles on the mouse-pad of his laptop. He was thinking. He’d threatened to expose Peter, and since he’d done it publicly, it meant he had an expectation from his friends to do exactly that. He had to find something on the new kid, anything. The thing was, he knew very little about him. He was clever, his aunt had died, and he cried a lot. Those were the only facts Ryan knew for certain. He’d never caught the name of the man who had turned up the day Peter had pulled his chair out from under him. All he knew about him, was that he was a strict-looking businessman. Without a name, he couldn’t find out anything about him. He wasn’t sure there’d be anything bad to say about him even if he did.

Ryan sighed, looking round the grubby room and tapping his foot on the threadbare carpet. 

“What should we do, Tilly?” he asked the white cat who was curled up beside him. 

The cat blinked slowly at him. Ryan looked back at his laptop. He sat up properly, opening Google, and typed ‘Peter Parker’ into the search bar. He expected to be met with social media accounts, but the real results were much more interesting. The top result was a picture thumbnail, linking to a news article. Ryan clicked on it, and the web page opened, throwing the headline; ‘Ward of The Stark’s’ across the screen.

‘Not the catchiest headline’ Ryan thought.

He scrolled, and peered at the picture. His eyes narrowed in confusion as he looked at it. It was definitely the right Peter Parker, but more shocking than that, was who was in the picture with him. He recognised the businessman from the head teachers office - and he recognised Tony Stark. The Tony Stark. A distinctive character, but not someone Ryan knew an awful lot about. Usually, tabloids and celebrity gossip went unnoticed by him. He kept looking at the photo. It was a generic low-grade paparazzi shot, dated the previous year. They’d been caught unaware, and the Starks looked less than pleased. They had their arms round Peter, attempting to shield him from the cameras. It looked like it had just been taken in the streets. Nowhere special, by any account.

Well, it was who Ryan was searching for, so he continued on to the article, and his eyes soon widened in disbelief, and glimmered with excitement. He’d found exactly what he was after: something to expose. He knew why the silent crybaby had appeared now. The article told him everything he needed to know: that the explosion in Queen’s not quite two months prior had made Peter homeless and killed his aunt, and that Tony Stark and his husband (famous only for his spouse and brother) had taken him in. The article was mostly impartial, but it detailed other theories and thoughts. No one in the press quite knew where Peter had originally come from. Many considered he was an apprentice at Stark Industries, others thought Tony had been involved with the aunt and he knew the kid that way - and some even speculated that he was an illegitimate son. 

Ryan laughed triumphantly. This was just too good.

“We’ve done it, Tilly! There’d better be ink in the printer” he grinned, touching her fur gently.

The cat jumped down from the sofa, padding over to the kitchen. Ryan watched her go, and stood up. He had things to do. 

-

Tony didn't know what Peter had told Loki - if anything - but the two were definitely now in cahoots. Peter spent the rest of the weekend clinging to Loki, and Tony ended up getting left on the sidelines, feeling very neglected and upset. He could deal with Peter being distant, but having Loki near enough ignoring him too was painful. He was used to being able to cuddle up to Loki whenever he liked, and now that he couldn't, he felt incredibly cut off. 

- 

Monday morning came as a relief. Loki got Peter ready for school, but he didn’t fancy going out in the cold, so Tony had to walk Peter to school again. 

"Stop sulking" Tony said. 

"I'm not sulking" Peter said, sulkily. 

"You are. Look, I know I got cross with you, but it was justified. I need you to be good now. If not for me, then for yourself. School isn't so bad" 

"What would you know?" Peter snapped. 

Tony sighed. "Don't speak to me like that, Peter"

Peter huffed and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“Look, kid-”

“I don’t want to hear it!” Peter interrupted. “You can go now”

He picked up the pace, and Tony sighed, leaning against a nearby wall. As always, he waited until Peter had gone through the school gates before heading for home.

-

Peter trudged up the stairs to his form room. Like it always did, his stomach started squeezing as he got closer. It was only a matter of seconds before he’d see Ryan, and get jostled by the group who always insisted on hanging about directly outside the door. 

There they were again, laughing. One of them spotted him.

“Hey Peter, hey, we’re friends, right?”

Peter looked at the girl, confused. Firstly, because friendship was the last thing anyone in this school wanted from him, and secondly, because she called him by his name, and no one ever did that. 

“Lend us some money, won’t you?” Another girl said. “We know you can spare it”

Peter decided they were just being stupid, and tried to ignore them. 

“Heyyyy, Parker!” Ryan’s familiar voice broke through the air, and he appeared in the hall, followed by his loyal giggling rabble members. “You never told us you were a billionaire! We’ll be your friends”

Peter looked at him, the confusion evident on his face. 

“Ooh, it hasn’t seen it yet!”

It was then that Peter noticed that everyone seemed to be clutching a sheet of paper. Ryan himself held a stack. He smiled, holding one out to him.

“Here”

Peter took the paper reluctantly, and Ryan wandered off a little way down the corridor to meet up with a friend who had just arrived and share the news with him. Peter looked down at the paper he’d been handed. ‘Ward of The Stark’s’ it read, and there was a picture. Peter recognised this picture. He remembered the paparazzi jumping out of the bushes, begging Tony to tell them about his kid. Tony and Loki had tried to shield Peter from them, and moved valiantly on. Loki had managed to invalidate most of their photos with elaborate and inappropriate hand gestures, but a few had turned up in a tabloid article. Tony had told Peter to ignore it, and he had. He’d been caught in the press a few times over the last few years. It never bothered him.

Peter swallowed hard and moved on to the article.

‘Billionaire’s Tony and Loki Stark have taken the next step in their relationship by having a child - but not in the conventional sense. An explosion caused by a gas main in Queens last week-’

Peter could feel himself shaking. He could hear people laughing at him, but he couldn’t stop reading. It told them everything: the death of his aunt, the people who had taken him in, the fate of the block of flats, the speculation of who he really was - it was all there, and Peter had never seen any of it before. Who had written this? Who had published it? How had Ryan found it?

Peter dropped the paper like it was red hot. He could feel his breathing getting faster. His pulse was beating uncomfortable hard in his throat.

“Shame about your aunt” Ryan’s voice called from a few metres away. “Or maybe not. After all, if she hadn’t kicked the bucket, she’d still have to put up with y-”

“YOU’VE GOT NO RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT HER!”

Before he knew what he was doing, he’d sprung forward, lashed out, and Ryan had hit the floor. Peter paused, breathing heavily, a dull pain throbbing in his still-clenched fist - and he realised what he’d done. The corridor was sickeningly quiet, everyone shocked to silence by hearing Peter’s voice and witnessing his retaliation. Ryan groaned, sprawled out in a mess of papers, blood dripping down both sides of his face.

“Uh-oh”

Peter made a run for it, and smacked straight into someone’s outstretched arm. He looked up at the teacher who had caught him, and he knew he’d seen everything. He glanced over his shoulder at Ryan, still on the floor, and back at the teacher, and finally, at the floor. He didn’t try to run again. There was no getting out of this one.

-

Peter felt like he was boiling over. He couldn’t stop shaking. He gripped the edges of the chair he was on and stared at the floor. He only lasted for so long before he became too agitated to stay still, and stood up, pacing in circles and ignoring everyone. 

New footsteps sounded - familiar ones - and Peter looked up. For a moment he couldn’t help feeling happy to see them, but the look on both their faces was enough to shock him back to reality. Loki shook his head at him.

“Oh Peter” Tony said sadly. “What have you done?”

-

Ryan’s dad had been called too, and turned up in much the same garb as before - but his easy-going composure was nowhere to be seen. He recognised Loki immediately, and grabbed his hand.

“If I had known, I’d’ve put a stop to it, I swear”

-

The five of them were ushered into the headteacher’s office - Tony, Loki, and Ryan’s dad standing, and Ryan and Peter on chairs in front of their respective guardians. 

“I’m sorry we had to call you down here” the headteacher said grimly. “But with a matter so serious as this, we needed to address it promptly”

The adults had been given a version of events, both slightly different, but the motive of Peter’s attack remained unclear, and Tony voiced this.

“I believe” the head said, holding a sheet of paper out to him. “That this may have sparked it off”

Tony looked at him, and took the paper. Loki moved closer to see. Tony felt queasy all of a sudden. He recognised this article. It was from a small local news company. He’d thought tooth and nail to keep it from getting into the national news, and even threatened to sue the paper if they printed it, just in case Peter ever saw it. It was obvious now, that publishing online had been their loophole. 

“Can I-?” 

Tony let Ryan’s dad take the article and read it over. He handed it to the head, turned, and slapped Ryan round the back of the head.

“What the hell is wrong with you!? Why would you go spreading someone’s personal business around like that?!”

“Why am I the one getting into trouble here?” Ryan demanded. “Look at what he did to me!”

Ryan glared at Peter. Peter glared back. Ryan had a cut and the starts of bruising on one side of his face, and a cut on the other side where he’d hit the floor. 

“Can we conduct this meeting in a civil manner, Ryan?” the head said. “From what I understand, you’ve done far more damage”

Peter went back to staring at the floor and gripping his chair. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on. Everything felt uncomfortably close and hot. It had all happened so fast. Peter had been ushered downstairs and told they’d be calling home, and he’d been left in a room on his own while Ryan was being seen to in the medical room. Peter had lost it a bit, shouting and swearing and crying. Once he’d calmed down a bit, he’d been moved to the corridor, a mere fifteen minutes before Tony and Loki had arrived. They’d all been shown into the headteacher’s office about ten minutes after that. Peter was too swamped in fear and emotion to think straight. He was trying hard to hold his tongue.

“-Bullying? Where would you get an idea like that?”

Peter looked up. Ryan sat so confidently, so defiant of the accusation. His father had been told over the phone, and wasn’t happy to see his son denying it. Loki and Tony were exchanging looks.

“There’s no use denying it, Ryan” the head said patiently. 

Ryan scoffed, folding his arms over his chest and glaring at Peter again. “I haven’t done anything to that kid”

“Say that again!” Peter shouted. “Say it again and see what happens!”

“Peter! That’s enough” Tony put a hand on his shoulder, and turned back to the head. “Are you sure about this?”

“Quite certain, Mr Stark. And as I informed your husband last time he was here, we won’t tolerate bullying in this school. However” he looked at Peter, who was seething with rage, tears dripping down his face, his body shaking. “I want to know exactly what’s been going on”

“I can answer that” Ryan said easily. “He started here about a month ago. He’s never spoken a word until today. He hasn’t got any friends. That’s it”

“Is it now?” The head said. “Because, Ryan Jefferson, that’s not what I’ve been told”

“Well, it’s the truth”

“No it fucking isn’t!” Peter exploded, jumping to his feet and glaring at Loki so fiercely that he drew back from his attempt to grab him. “You’ve done nothing but torment me since the moment I arrived! Why lie about it?! You obviously like the attention, so why not brag about it, you silly cu-”

Tony clamped his hand down over Peter’s mouth before he could finish his sentence. Peter pushed his hand away. Suddenly he wasn’t quite so scared of Ryan. Ryan himself was a little on edge now that Peter was speaking and showing some fight. He wasn’t used to his victims suddenly turning. 

“What exactly is it I’ve supposedly done to you?” he said, not quite holding eye contact.

“Don’t act as if you don’t know! You’ve been having the time of your life”

“But we don’t know” Tony said. “Peter, if this kid has been bullying you... He hasn’t, has he? I mean, surely you would’ve told us?”

“And let you worry even more? And risk it getting worse?” he was crying properly now, choking his words through his sobs. “I’m not like this just because of May, you know”

“Darling” Loki tried to hug the boy, only to be pushed away. 

“Peter, we’re worried about you anyway! Why did you ever think hiding it would be the better option?” Tony pulled him close, and Peter just about allowed it. 

“What exactly have you done to this kid, Ryan?” his dad demanded. 

Loki looked over at him. Now he knew what he’d meant when he said he’d have put a stop it it if he’d have known. He must have been told over the phone that his son was a bully. Ryan shrugged, but he was starting to look very nervous. His dad was very red in the face. He looked over at the Starks, at Peter.

“You have to tell us what he’s done to you”

“I haven’t done anything!” Ryan insisted. “It’s nothing!”

“Nothing! You think this is nothing?” Peter shouted, pulling away from Tony. “I don’t need to tell them what you’ve done”

“Why? Because I haven’t done anything? You’re pathetic!”

“No, because I can show them” Peter said, and he grabbed the bottom of his jumper and pulled it off over his head.

He stood there, unable to see through his tears, barely able to breathe his chest was so tight. For a while there was a horrible silence as Ryan saw for the first time exactly how much of an impact his games had had, Ryan’s dad and the head saw exactly how grievous the situation was, and Tony and Loki realised why the boy had flinched so much when they’d hugged him recently.

Peter’s torso was a mess of grazes and cuts and bruises at various stages of healing. His stomach was 90% bruise, an ugly mix of black and green and purple, with the cuts of fingernails unmistakable on one side.

Loki was the first to crack. This surprised everyone, and horrified Peter, who started crying again as a result.

“H-h-hey, Mr Loki, don’t cry! I didn’t want to make you cry!” Peter gabbled, and started sobbing.

“How could you not tell us about this?! How could you just let him hurt you?” 

He pulled Peter close, holding his jumper round him to cover at least some of him, and rocked him while they both cried. 

Tony slowly turned to look at Ryan’s dad, who looked every bit as horrified as he felt. He looked over at the head, who had gone very white in the last few minutes. 

“When the teachers told me you’d been bullying him, I never imagined anything like thi-”

“Hold on, you knew about this?!” Tony said. 

“On the contrary” the head held a hand up defensively. “I only found out today. But some of the teachers have been aware of the situation for some times now, and they’ve told me as much”

“What, and they just stood by and let it happen? They just let this little thug do as he pleased? I don’t believe this!” 

He looked at Loki, who had composed himself a little, but was still very much occupied with holding Peter protectively. Tony moved closer to Ryan and looked down at him. Ryan shifted uncomfortably.

“I don’t know what possessed you to do what you’ve done, but what you did goes far beyond playground bullying, which is bad enough in itself. This is violence. Why would you do it?”

Ryan shrugged. “Bit of fun”

“Oh, is that what you call it?” Tony said, his voice dangerously calm. “Well let me tell you something: a ‘bit of fun’ doesn’t constitute ABH. You think this is ok, that you can keep doing this kind of thing your whole life? You can, and will, end up in prison. Heck, you could go to prison now. Do you want to go to juvie? Because that’s where you’re heading”

He stepped back, if only for his own sake. He noticed Mr Jefferson staring at him. He looked at him, and for a split second, imagined what he must be feeling. Tony had been upset and angry when they’d thought Peter was a bully, even though now it had been proved to be a falsehood. But Ryan was very much a bully, and there was no denying that. He couldn’t quite comprehend how horrible that must feel. 

“Are you going to press charges?” he asked, his face grey.

Tony looked at Peter, clinging helplessly to Loki, many of his bruises still visible despite the jumper being held round him.

“No” Tony said, and he turned back to Mr Jefferson. “I’m not dragging my kid through courts and police interviews and statements. He’s suffered enough. And you shouldn’t have to go through all the same just because of what your son did”

“We need to decide where we go from here” The headteacher said. 

Ryan stared at the floor. Being the centre of attention wasn’t so good now. Truth be told, he felt sick. He’d never been called out on his behaviour before, especially not like this. What was going to happen now?

Peter pulled away from Loki, put his jumper back on, and sank back into the chair, looking at nothing in particular and trying to decipher his feelings. 

“I can’t believe your teachers knew what was happening and didn’t do anything about it” 

“It will be investigated” the head looked at Mr Jefferson. “Would you and Ryan give us a few minutes?”

“Yeah..” Mr Jefferson hauled Ryan up from his chair and pushed him towards the door. He went over and took Loki’s hand. “I am so sorry”

Loki shook his hand encouragingly. “It’s not your fault. You weren’t the one who hurt him”

Mr Jefferson found himself in front of Peter. He looked terribly small. 

“If I had known sooner, I would have put a stop to it. I swear” he said. “He should never have been allowed to get away with it... Take care, kid”

-

Peter pressed his hands down hard over his ears until the sound of the blood rushing in his head was louder than the grown-ups arguing. Tony and Loki were annoyed at themselves for being so oblivious to what was going on, and angry that the school knew and did nothing about it. They didn’t know what to do next, and could only argue the options. 

Eventually, a brief silence was broken by Tony.

“This isn’t working” he said, looking at the headteacher properly. “I really do appreciate what you’ve done, understanding Peter’s situation and taking him on such short notice, and keeping us from being common knowledge. But this just isn’t working. He’s miserable, and with good reason. That kid had done horrible things to him. I don’t blame you - but I blame your teachers for knowing and doing nothing about it”

“I can’t apologise enough” the head said. “They should know better. I will investigate it. It’s not good enough. I’m so sorry that Peter came to such harm here”

“I appreciate it” Tony said. He looked at Peter, and sighed heavily. “I’m sorry. I’d like to withdraw Peter from the school, effectively immediately”

The head nodded slowly. “I imagined you would. I have no objections. He’ll never feel safe here after what happened”

He stood up and came round from behind his desk. He stood before Peter. Peter slowly opened his eyes and looked up, taking his hands away from his ears.

“We saw your grades. Your old school sent them to us. You’re clever. You’ll go far, given the right environment. I really do wish you all the best for the future” he held a hand out to him, which Peter took shakily. “Goodbye, Peter”

-

Peter was exhausted by the time they got back to the house. They’d left the school at 11.30am, and Tony had taken him straight to the doctors to be checked over for any serious damage (thankfully none was found) before finally returning home.

They all three sat on the futon in the back room. For a while there was numb silence, but then Tony collapsed. He held Peter close, and Loki held the both of them, and together they all cried and silently cursed the Earth for being so cruel. 

*