#am i being delusional i think so but idc my heart hurts things never work out the way i plan ugh
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#i’ve never hated being a broke bitch more than now i just got an offer for this gawjus place w this cool person and its over my budget i wa#want to bang my head against a wall sigh#literally why do i search for love like this#this could’ve been great really great i cannot i was this close to signing something else aswell WHY#to be close to ppl my age w my interests and have a relationship that lasts is that asking too much what if i never see them again#am i being delusional i think so but idc my heart hurts things never work out the way i plan ugh#but atleast i will be leaving the shithole i’m in rn#it could’ve been great#i can get more great things although not now and it feels like a fresh wound rn i’m just starved for love ok i need a hug i’m so serious#it was in the PERFECT AREA TOO#it’s okay it’s okay atleast it’s still london and not a town in essex where u cannot get a taxi unless u want to wait 3 hours#count your blessings girl call down#shit i’m sad i’m so childish fuck#literally i just want a solid circle of companions and maybe that wouldn’t guarantee it and maybe where i’m going can be the path to my happ#happiness but i’ve been miserable for too long idk if i can even be loved because i will just fee like i’m tainting them#everyone in my life is held at a safe distance and i don’t want that anymore i want someone CLOSE who doesn’t get repulsed or bored ha#this interaction has sent me plummeting into the depths of hell i feel ridiculous#my chest hurts so much
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