#am i allowed to tag him as dank memes

[ohbeffinitely]

i shunned a family gathering for this idiot so you bETTER APPRECIATE HIM HAPPY CRIMMUS AND ALL THAT

[mcuntainbcrn]

Repost, Do Not Reblog

ABOUT ME

tagged by: @tatteredteacups tagging: @scarbladed @saviourofnosgoth @irritableteadrinker @thathanyouinuyasha @thecrescentofthewest @fresh-out-of-berries @uurameshii @thievingbat @rozufox @theabandonedones @cracked-roleplay and whoever else wants to

IN GENERAL:

REAL NAME: Abra

NICKNAMES: Abs, Abby, Zero

SEXUALITY: Demisexual

PREFERRED PRONOUNS: She/her

ARE YOU A MORNING PERSON?: Ffffffffffuck no

WHEN SWIMMING, DO YOU PREFER TO DO IT IN THE OCEAN, OR IN A LAKE?: I don’t really have a preference tbh - depends on how hot out it is I think; if it’s super hot? Ocean. If it’s only moderately so? Lake.

ON TUMBLR:

ANYONE YOU WOULD LIKE TO MEET IN REAL LIFE?: Literally everyone - I am literally hoping to make a trip to England next year and hopefully will get to meet up with a fair few of you if I’m lucky

ANYONE YOU HAVE MET IN REAL LIFE?: A lot, actually - even if we don’t interact as much anymore, I still loved every second of our time together and wouldn’t say no to hanging out again

WHEN DID YOU FIRST JOIN? 2010 under my personal account

YOUR CURRENT ACCOUNT?: 2013

ANY PEEVES?

People disrespecting or outright ignoring clear boundaries [i.e. if I don’t know you, why the fresh fuck would you touch me/grab me/shove my clothing aside?]

People becoming so absorbed with their S/O’s that they lose all contact with/shut out all their friends [I make an exception if it’s a new relationship and they’re still in the ‘omg new thing new thing new thing’ stage, but you can only blow me off/stand me up for so many months before I stop inviting you to friend outings]

A lot of RP drama [i.e. the kind where one of the mun’s involved starts blurring the lines between the muse/s and reality] RP is meant to be fun, and the moment it stops being fun, there’s generally a problem

People referring to stretched ears or the jewelry worn in stretched ears as gauges - this is a battle I will never win, but stretched ears are stretched ears; gauge is a form of measurement and or an output reader in vehicles; plugs, tunnels and weights are the actual types when it comes to jewelry and it will never not annoy me and I’m sorry [not really tho]

UNPOPULAR OPINION: I have yet to find a way to make avocado palatable so for now? Avocados are gross. .

FEELINGS:

DO YOU EASILY GET JEALOUS?: Not easily, no - not that I don’t feel it, but I do a fairly good job of talking myself off the edge in that regard; not so much for a lot of other aspects in my life presently but I have at least a few areas where I can just talk myself through it and rationalize that I’m being ridiculous.

DO YOU EASILY GET ANGRY?: Not generally, no - but when I am, unless I’m angry to the point of wanting to inflict actual harm in one way or another, you will never know about it.

ARE YOU EASY TO CHEER UP?: It honestly depends - generally, yes, but sometimes depression and anxiety ramp all the way up and getting through to me is like trying to bore through a steel wall with a plastic spoon.

ARE YOU GOOD AT HIDING YOUR EMOTIONS?: I’ll put it like this - you will only know what I allow you to ^-^ There have been periods of time where I have been livid at people but kept things so civil that they were never aware of it; I’ve learned over time that being too open only comes back to bite you in the ass.

WHAT’S THE VERY BEST WAY TO CHEER YOU UP?: Spam me with vine compilations and dank memes, pet pics [dogs, cats, rabbits, snakes, fish, rats - show me your babies]

RELATIONSHIPS:

ARE YOU CURRENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP?: HA! That’s hilarious

DO YOU CURRENTLY HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: I think Tom Hiddleston is a beautiful soul - does that count? If not. then no I do not.

IF YES, MIGHT THAT SOMEONE BE READING THIS?: Unless Tom does count and for whatever reason would stumble upon the correct alignment of tags, probably not lol.

DO YOU KISS ON THE FIRST DATE?: Depends how well the date went, but generally not - I’ve a few boundary issues due to somethings in my past; I had one guy force it after I dodged his first attempt and needless to say I blocked him on every platform and never saw him again. If you don’t respect my boundaries on the first date, then I highly doubt you’re suddenly going to later down the line.

DO YOU PREFER GOING OUT, OR STAYING HOME, WHEN IT COMES TO DATES?: I do not care - sincerely; if I like you, and you like me, anything and everything can be a date. Eating fast food in the car while we chat? That’s a date. Watching a movie and making dinner together? That’s a date. Going out to the aquarium and grabbing lunch? That’s a date. So long as it’s someone who gives a genuine fuck about me? I consider anything a date so long as I can spend some time with you.

THINGS:

FAVORITE DRINK: Non- Alcoholic: Dr. Pepper, Cranberry Juice, Iced Tea; Alcoholic: Irish Trash Can, Mudslides, Mai Tais, Margaritas.

FAVORITE FOOD: These brussel sprouts from Tuscano’s that I have legit had dreams about and woke up literally salivating over.

[rosesisupposes]

Destined, part 13

aka Seeking Advice from Glasses Nerds

Character Tags: Virgil/Anixety ; Patton/Creativity ; Patton/Morality ; Logan/Logic ; Remy/Sleep ; Dante/Deceit

Chapter Pairings: Logicality, Prinxiety mention, Platonic Moxiety/Analogical

Chapter Warnings: blushing & puns  (i have two settings: angst/worldbuilding and blushing)

Reader Tags: @residentanchor @royally-anxious  @bewarethegrammarpolice   @fellowthomassandersfander @jemthebookworm

Summary: After centuries of acting as an oracle to heroes, quest-seekers, and villains alike, Virgil just wants to live as a normal, modern human. For someone who can see infinite probabilities, you’d think he’d know better.

<<Chapter 12 | Masterlist | Chapter 14>>

Read on ao3 [updated]

The morning had been a complete and utter mess.

Virgil and Gilda’s careful truce was utterly ruined whenever Virgil was distracted, and sweet Sybill was he distracted the rest of that day. His black hoodie was a mess with steamed milk and flavored syrup stains, and he was pretty sure coffee grounds were, well, ground into his sleeve and never coming out.

The one saving grace was that the sorcerer had caused him to be late today, so Roman hadn’t seen him looking like a mess of a somewhat-human-being. Remy had informed him with far too much glee that Roman had looked disappointed when he’d come in to see Virgil missing, and that Remy had flirted extra hard to make up for it.

If he hadn’t already been a mess of indecision and worry, Virgil would probably have been more annoyed by that. As it was, he was much more worried that he was going to get Roman hurt than whether he’d ever text him.

Remy was about to sail upstairs to sleep when he looked Virgil up and down, frowning.

“Boi, you are a mess. What has happened to your clothes?”

“I blame Gilda.”

“How dare you, she has done nothing wrong, ever, in her life. Here, you’re not my size, but I think you’re Antony’s. This should fit you.”

His boss tossed him a distressed purple t-shirt. Virgil started walking to the back room to change, then stopped. “Wait. Where did this come from, you’ve been downstairs all morning.”

“From the back. Antony… left it there. Last week,” Remy replied with a self-satisfied smirk.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “It’s a good thing the health inspector is in love with you.”

Remy shrugged. “It’s not my fault I’m the perfect man. Go change, I can’t have you besmirching the aesthetic of How You Brewin’. We have a very attractive reputation to maintain.”

Virgil wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he was very grateful for the shirt. It was hard to clean up the mess that was his thoughts when his entire appearance was a mess too. And to be honest, he dug the purple.

Feeling just a bit better, he made it through the rest of morning and early afternoon without any more spills. But he was still conflicted. What should he do about Dante’s destiny? He’d never been connected to a seen future in any way, let alone been infatuated with friendly with a pivotal actor in that future. Who would he even ask for advice? It’s not like Sages had parents.

But he wasn’t most Sages, he realized. There was someone who actually did call him ‘son.’

He made his way over to the bakery and saw, with a warm bubble of pride, that Logan was leaning against the side of the counter as he chatted with Patton, who was glazing pastries and smiling even larger than normal. It seemed that the happy resolution of months of mutual pining was constant conversation and flirting.

“Hey, if I’m interrupting I can come back later - I just need Patton’s advice on something,” he offered as he approached the counter.

Patton looked up at Logan, who smiled, still a little tentative and embarrassed, and said “Not a problem. I can leave you alone to consult.”

“Actually,” Virgil interrupted, “you can stay if you want. I… have a bit of an odd situation, and two perspectives would probably be better than one. Unless you have work to do.”

Logan rubbed his neck. “I probably do have work I could be doing, but now I’m intrigued. I will gladly assist if I’m able to do so.”

Virgil nodded and pulled himself up onto one of Patton’s only clean baking benches.

“Kiddo, I can get you a stool, you don’t need to sit up there...”

“Pat, I appreciate the offer, but right now I am too overwhelmed to worry about what is or what isn’t a chair,” he muttered, his anxiety heightening as he tried to think of how he’d explain his predicament. He wasn’t quite ready to tell them both that he was an ageless magical being.

“So. Um. I have a bit of an issue, but it’s kind of… private? It involves some sensitive details I don’t know that I can share,” he offered, not making eye contact.

“You only need to share as much as you want to, kiddo,” Patton said kindly, pulling up a stool.

“Unless, of course, the details are so crucial as to make any advice without them useless,” Logan interjected, sitting across from him.

“I hope that’s not the case - here, let’s try a hypothetical. You both know the trolley problem?” Virgil asked.

Logan’s eye widened. “Philippa Foot’s thought experiment? Of course, yes, I suddenly feel much more qualified for this discussion.”

“No, like the meme,” Virgil and Patton said at the same time.

“I… I don’t understand, but go on,” Logan said, lifting his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose.

“Okay, so, hypothetically, I know someone who has control of a lever to change the train tracks. He has a choice between an empty rail, and one with several people, whose death will somehow benefit him. Like, uh, the king and the next three in line for the throne before Lever Man. You’re following so far?”

Patton and Logan both nodded, Patton slightly more confused than his darker-haired friend.

“So, hypothetically, Mr. Lever is pretty likely to want to pull the lever towards the people, but there’s a small chance he won’t. He could decide last-minute to be merciful. The only way I know for a fact that he won’t flip the lever is if… um, Superman flies in, and forcibly pushes him to keep the lever on the empty track. But if Supes tries that, there’s a nonzero chance he’ll fall onto the empty track himself and be hit by the train.”

“Well obviously that would be the ideal situation, Superman will survive such a blow easily,” Logan offered.

“Okay, not Superman. Just a regular dude then, I don’t know what to call him…”

“Call him Logan!” Patton said eagerly.

“Um, why me?” Logan asked.

“Cause you’re my hero,” Patton said, smiling. Logan immediately blushed and looked down.

Virgil smirked and exaggeratedly rolled his eyes, then tried to pull them both back on track (Heh, track. Wait shit, no, he needed to focus. This was what happened when he spent this much time with Patton).

“We’re talking about trains, I’ll call the hero… Thomas. Like the Tank Engine.”

“More like Thomas the Dank Engine”

“Patton, buddy, focus. Okay. So the only person who can guarantee that Mr. Lever won’t kill the royals and become king is Thomas, but Thomas could get hurt or worse in the process. But, there’s also a chance that Mr. Lever will decide to not kill anyone. If I’m the only one who knows this… Do I have an obligation to tell Thomas?”

Logan looked pensive. “Hm. That is an interesting hypothetical. What would happen if you didn’t tell Thomas?”

Virgil thought. “I mean, there’s a chance that he’d still be in a position to stop Mr. Lever anyway, and so there’s a chance he would still be at risk, he would just be unprepared. But there would be an equal chance that he wouldn’t be in the right place at the right time without knowing, so the likelihood of Mr. Lever successfully going through with his plan is pretty high.”

Logan nodded. “And the risk of indeed telling him?”

“Well, best-case scenario, Thomas would choose to stop Mr. Lever, be successful, and not get hurt,” Virgil said with a sigh. “But I know better than to pin all my hopes on that happening. If he knew, and Mr. Lever was merciful on his own, then Thomas has been through a lot of worry and stress for nothing. Or, he could try to stop him and be unsuccessful and get hurt or killed in the process. Or he could be successful in stopping him and still get hurt or killed. Or he could choose to do nothing and feel like a coward for the rest of his life, or he could choose to do nothing and get killed along with the king anyway.” The speed of his words picked up as he listed possibilities, his perpetual internal monologue spilling out into the open like - well, like a runaway train. Those things were dangerous.

Patton put on hand on Virgil’s need and rubbed it reassuringly. “Hey, kiddo, take it easy, okay? Just let yourself relax. None of these things are happening just yet, it’s okay.”

Virgil nodded and took a deep breath, using meditation breathing to calm his elevated heart rate.

“It sounds like a big part of this question is you trying to decide what’s best for Thomas,” Patton continued. “But maybe, just maybe, that’s something he needs to decide for himself.”

Logan nodded in agreement. “Patton makes an excellent point. It seems like there many factors to consider, but only Thomas himself can accurately weigh their relative importance within his own life. The negative result of causing him unnecessary worry is far overshadowed by the other possible negative outcomes.”

Virgil looked at both his friends. Two serious yet supportive expressions looked back from behind matching black frames. “But…” he started

“Hehe, butt,” Patton snorted. “Sorry, go on, big guy!”

“But what if I, personally,” Virgil hesitated, “what if I care a lot for Thomas and don’t want to risk hurting him?”

Patton brightened, clapping his hands. “Awwww my son has a cruuushhhh.”

Logan cleared his throat, carefully looking directly at Virgil and nowhere else. “While I, ah, understand the heightened feelings of worry that go along with feelings of… affection… for someone, you can’t allow that to cloud your judgment here. Yes, you may cause Thomas some distress by telling him what you know, but imagine if the truth came out without your telling him. The most likely outcome would be a feeling of betrayal on his part.”

“You think so?” Virgil asked nervously.

“I know so, kiddo,” Patton answered. “If you really care about him and his well-being, you’ll let him make the choice himself. It may be hard, and yes, there’s a chance that you telling him will also make him feel betrayed. But if you speak from the heart and make it clear that you are only trying to help him to the best of your ability, I think you’ll find he’ll appreciate the effort.”

Virgil sighed, looking back and forth. “Thanks, guys. You’re right. I’m really glad I came to you both.”

Logan smiled. “Anytime, Virgil. And might I advise telling Roman sooner rather than later?”

Virgil blanched. “What? Who said anything about Roman? We were talking about, uh, Thomas, yeah. All hypothetical here.”

“You forget that I’m almost always in the cafe when Roman comes in. Particularly,” Logan smirked, “two days ago, when you spoke to him for several minutes and wrote your number on his coffee cup. I didn’t want to mention it earlier because it wasn’t relevant to the advice, but it was intuitively obvious even to the casual observer.”

Virgil heard a strange, strangled sound and turned to see Patton with both hands over his face, eyes shining with delight. “Ohhhhh that is so cute!!!” the paternal baker squealed.

“I. Um. It’s not really anything yet, and might not be ever, so don’t get your hopes up,” Virgil muttered. “Thanks again for the advice, I’m going to go… hide.”

He slid off the baker’s bench and slunk back to How You Brewin’ to start cleaning up for the night.

At least he knew what he needed to do now.

author’s note: This chapter brought to you by inspiration from Mind vs Heart and Alone on Valentine’s.

Also from my undying love for Logicality. Glasses love is the best love.