#am fine. bill take the wheel i cajt talk anymroe | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

euclydya · 3 months ago

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like ok i thiinki i can words this decently but it's like. being a fictive of a Younger Version Of Yourself is weird. Like. the people i knew baxk then are now like 20-30 years older than me. My boyfriend is now 30 years my senior despite us supposed to be the same age. I'm a snapshot of a man on the precipice of losing his mind and I cannot outgrow that. It's like being stuck in a timeloop. hey y'know that scene from str.anger th.ings with El's mom and howthe audience finally saw into her mind and it was just like 4-5 scenes rapidly repeating on loop for all eternity. like she was just Stuck There Repeating the worst final moments of clarity she had before The Horrors happened to her. Yeah this feels like that in a way. I cannot word it (thought disorder. brain hell.) but it feels similar.

#I had about 2-3ish shots of the Memory Fuckening Gun it feels like #like i am not perfectly sane. I'm in between the Before and the After of the man I'm a fictive of. does ANY of this make sense?#no? understandable have a nice day.#pk;m Fiddleford🔬#do not let that age gap worry you i am 30-40 years old in-sys it's fine #ajyways . im also like constsntly fivhting to keep ahold of my clarity adn sanity.#do you knownhow hard it was to type this. my brain is melting into word salad hell as i soesk #and this happens often to 7s as a whole. you just gotta let it happen. fighting it only makes it worse. but #im scared. to. bANY2AYS #i hauvev a lot of t33lings abouth this i might turn it into art #disregard the typos the . ummm. brain disorder thoughts happening again OK words done low on eords and sense!#am fine. bill take the wheel i cajt talk anymroe

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