#am I posting here bc twt is limiting me? yes absolutely

[nekinekocats]

[Old art repost]

That time Mumei sang 'I was Meant to be Yours' from Heathers

[zoekrystall]

Added more in my pinned post and accidentally talked too much in the tags to hit the limit whoops. Added that txt yesterday bc I saw people primarily (some only) sharing donation links. Can you tell when I wrote stuff was I just ever so slightly irritated by all the emotions talk. Which yknow I get feeling angry and whatnot but I am specifically talking abt the stuff w "how can you not feel _". Idk if I already talked abt it or deleted it before hitting post some other time I think I did. Also was irritated by all the people yelling at people for being triggered like if you don't know the difference between discomfort and triggered do I not want you near me. That difference is very significant.

Idk man I am just tired of people equating empathy w humanity the most. I'm really glad I hardened up more bc I just think abt 2020 where I think I got first truly radicalized or/and learned a fuck ton but also all that guilt tripping and all made the already bad mental health further nosedive and that is just not sustainable neither for the cause or us. Like yes sharing and all actions that do help are important but it's also important to step away and do anything else to not burn out in like a day or two. Luckily the people that get followed got shaken up a bit and dash and rbs get focused more on positivity in general since then and that def helped long term (was gen "would _ rb that" "would _ scold if I would rb that" until it became a no brainer when my lifeline wasn't there. not the time to gush but fuck do I think I would still be in the same mud without him). Still not the best but better than then so sharing is easier on the mental health.

I feel. So weird for not being able to feel empathy for others but def feel it when others irritate me. Yeah I feel bad when I don't feel anything but what does it bring to force myself to feel something. I already knew in 2020 that the trying to force myself was empty I only felt like I have to try to feel awful bc of all the guilt tripping. It's hard to explain how it feels I think it's such a strange feeling. Anyways I'm at least aware enough to know if I get irritated around this I shouldn't constantly be vocal abt it bc it really does not matter in the grand scheme of things this is the only post and if further will I just on private bc no-one needs to see that but sometimes venting is needed.

I'm only really talking abt that bc reg the trigger stuff like ffs people still need to be able to function and there are things to do without getting triggered if the heavy topics are what do it. Also the people that want to help through sharing those can look at that if they know what they'll see and can get prepared first. I got ptsd doesn't mean I never ever look at any triggering stuff ever again I just need to be in the headspace and a heads up would always be very good. Really wish twt would do it like here w not completely not showing the tweet (minus in replies where you can click to show) if it has smth muted but saying "yo this post got this muted thing ya wanna see it". Like. People getting triggered are absolutely not the same people bitching bc they're just uncomfortable. The latter are the bad ones I do agree but know the fucking difference. Feeling uncomfortable just living happens like daily for the most standard reason so feeling that abt a horrendous situation should be a given. You however shouldn't get triggered daily. Also yes we can admire the people there but not everyone is as strong you shouldn't guilt them into dealing w more than they can. I'm gen (starting to consider, already did a few though) immediately blocking everyone posting that stuff esp the aggressive ones. I do not care if you have x or y not everyone experiences things the exact same way. I am being so good abt holding back insults.

And reg the emotions thing like people learn not everyone feels empathy and that it doesn't make people anything bad and that actions count challenge. Not everyone w aspd for example is automatically a evil person. What matters is if they talk abt things and if they genuinely stand behind them. Idk if I speak for most or if just past self but writing in all caps "how can you not feel bad/sad/angry/etc at seeing [atrocity, usually as video attached]" will make people not magically care if they didn't prior it'll just irritate them and scroll away. Factual information is what can make people turn around more (like, literally just share without that commentary for example). So many "both sides bad" focus on emotions afaik. Compassion, empathy, etc for both. There are people that see and feel bad abt what happens to them but still say both sides bad.

I'm tired I'll likely sleep now but yeah I just. Wanted to write abt it and get it out ig. Rb disabled and I won't bad faith argument idc if any of this sounded privileged to you. I can prob write all this way more eloquent but man idc this isn't a post that is supposed to spread and I wrote this while being sleepy. I also think there is, for individual people that aren't big names, some nuance reg having to talk abt something and being allowed to not engage in every important topic but 1 that is too complex to just kinda ramble about 2 this current event is less nuanced reg that I def think try to share as much as you can even if just occasionally. I think I only don't like it bc not saying anything online doesn't equal not doing anything. Someone could go to every protest they can and write and call but just not using their socials bc that takes their energy enough or smth. And some have multiple accs and only focus spreading it on their main (and/or w the biggest following, which should be used). I think that is what specifically gets me. But yeah didn't think abt it enough to form enough abt it and also maybe talking more abt it when this is over bc how I said it is less complicated rn. And. Yknow. When I am not tired as hell.

[yichens]

🐰 🐇 TGIF from Classy Cultiva! It’s Fri so everything is dandy! How’s your weekend looking? In reply: I pin down scenes with songs bc it helps me deal with the feels. And/or if I specifically want to feel some angst or fluff haha | oh I was thinking of a long post with photos that tried to pin down which episode is wangxian’s First Time, it wasn’t music based but it was hilarious. Will save for post reveal bc it’s super long to explain ahaha | syriala @ AO3 writes xicheng! 1/2

I love lists! Will check out these artists, thank you! Never apologize for long posts! I would (and will) totally write pages and pages if I didn’t have a char limit! Q8: do you watch fanvids? Any recs? I LOVE THIS ONE: Bury My Love – <youtu DOT be SLASH zQASLXMZZsk> | and while I’m squeeing I really really want sbdy to vid Whatta Man for all lwj’s slo mo shots. Or even all the boys. Is there any song you think is begging to be vidded? Or any music a fanvid introduced you to? 2/2

sorry I haven’t had the time to answer yet ;; I just came to my parents for christmas and things have been hectic ^^’ but happy sunday! I hope you have managed to rest and enjoy your weekend :’)

ah am excited to see that post :o you got me curious now haha. and oh I know syriala (here and on ao3) and their fics are amazing! I am always in my jc feels bc of them ;; and they really made me think about mingxicheng too, it was such a soft concept! bc it always makes me ache how nmj praises the twin heroes of yunmeng when they first go to unclean realm and jc just look so pleased with it all (bc he rarely gets praised at home right? which is a shame) 

I hope you enjoy all that art! it always makes me so happy while scrolling through my twt :’) and am glad you don’t mind me rambling then! excited for your essays in the future haha

yes, I watch fanvids! I tried to gather together some xicheng ones when I got into them (which is way too few, it’s so sad ;;) but I’ve also loved a couple of wangxian ones! I have some in my liked vids on youtube, so here:

these two by EarlHatter: saturn & mercury (bc I absolutely adore sleeping at last, I’ve always been very thankful for these two fmvs)

this one also by EarlHatter (I love this song, have loved it ever since I was in middle school and discovered red, and when I need to sob over wangxian, I just watch this vid)

this one by the amazing @fytheuntamed (I love the song choice (I actually discovered this song through this fmv) and the feeling of this whole vid and wow, I cry)

this one for wwx bc am a hoe for fmvs that put some badass/poppy songs for him and show all of his best sides hehe (also I love the coloring on this vid, it’s so nice to look at)

this one for the yunmeng siblings bc a) I adore the song no matter what type of version (this is slowed down I think?) and b) this makes me ache in all the best ways

and when it comes to songs I would like to see with some fmvs, I could say that there are quite a few :’D most of them are very painful bc I rarely think about all these fun or badass songs with the untamed (tho I adore that stuff! I can really see your suggestion coming alive wow and this is why I love crack vids too!) but I also enjoy these delicate type of fmvs the best so here’s a short list of some songs:

welcome to the darkness - the brilliance x (I can see this song mixing so well with wwx, especially during all the yiling patriarch angst. I recently gave in to it and made an edit)

anyone else - pvris x (just some very emotional and lovely wangxian for this bc they are soulmates and have true love)

walk through the fire - zayde wolf ft. ruelle x (for yunmeng bros, for all their angst and hate and sorrow) 

repeat until death - novo amor x (this begs to be a wangxian song, especially during burial mounds and what follows... novo amor in general seems to be my the untamed theme music ^^’ I made an edit for this too a long time ago heh)

so here’s all of this ^^’ I hope you find something to enjoy? and sorry but I couldn’t find the fmv you linked here ;; try linking it after reveals ok? am curious to see what it is (is the song in it by any chance moondust by jaymes young?) 

see you again ^^ ♥

[bangtanger]

hii💜 So i've been following you for a while because i think your gifs are absolutely gorgeous. Seeing all this discourse abt the gifs is very sad.. half a year ago i learned how to make gifs and im still learning how to improve. For example i downloaded avisynth but i have no clue how to use it. Do you know of any tutorial that might help? Because seriously i know so little it's even hard to find the right tutorial. And do you have any other tips or tutorials for further enhancing gifs? tysm 💜

hello!!! ahh thank u angel soso much 🥺❤️

yes ik few but im gonna leave only one here it has pretty much everything here

-wanna add one thing there is also one more more person on twt who posts ts files now @/c_a_leaf  (but not only bts)

on step 2 that tutorial of brandinator is what helped me back in the days with avisynth but @michietuts also helped me with some things (especially how to make 60fps out of 30 and how to check if its possible) 

-also wanna say another thing i always use this ⬇️ for every single vid cuz other .bats may not work with ts

about further enhancing i use both topaz denoise and topaz clean (there r links in the tutorial) and smart sharpening settings for topaz clean i left here  

for denoise i use this

and change only overall strength however i need (the whole image shouldnt look blurry but it should blur some pixels)

u may choose whatever order or settings u like 

also the important thing is to check doubled frames there r a lot of videos where every fourth and fifth frame r the same so be careful with this 

about coloring well its totally up to u just experiment with different things (back in the days i personally took around 5 different pics with different lighting etc etc and tried to make psd that looks decent on all of them and i still use it but of course i add or delete some layers that i dont like)

also u better add ur watermark on that psd to always use it lol especially bc of this whole reposting thing

bUt if u want ur gifs to look colorful it may decrease the quality and they will look more pixelated (gifs r pretty limited with colors :/) so choose wisely what do u want qualty or more colors

alsoooooo i really dont know what is the gif limit size rn but i can post even 9mb

it took me a while but i really hope sth here may help u dshgfsldfkdg