#always look forward to theses

[star-spangled-man]

not me crying in the bathroom because my students said nice things about me!!

[starsenha]

BEST FRIENDS CAN FUCK / S.J

Pairing ◊ sub!fem!reader x softdom!jake

Genre ◊ SMUT, best friends to ???

Warnings ◊ SMUT (minors dni), alcohol (both of them are drunk), kissing (obvi), liiitle bit of dry humping, fingering, petnames, praising, finger sucking, oral (f. receiving), kind of pwp, unprotected sex (wrap it up), lots of cursing

Word count ◊ 5,2k

Summary ◊ you were sexually frustrated and your best friend Jake offered to help you.

a/n: really thinking abt doing a pt.2, tell what you think! also not proofread hihi

Empty bottles of Soju were littered on the coffee table in front of you, making both of your mind fuzzy with alcohol. You and Jake had been best friends for years, and theses nights sprawled on the couch after a night of drinking had sort of become a tradition.

Jake sat across from you, legs stretched out, his back slouched against the armrest. His hair was a bit messy, and he had a lazy grin from the alcohol. You had both drifted from topic to topic, having effortlessly between school stress, random ass jokes and deeper subjects.

You tipped your head back against the cushions and let out a long groan, closing your eyes. "Honestly, at this point, I'm not even looking for a relationship anymore. I just want someone to hook up with. I'm so sexually frustrated it's fucking ridiculous."

There was a pause before Jake chuckled softly, his laughter low and teasing. "Tell me about it," he said, shifting slightly to get more comfortable. "It’s like... one of the most basic things, right? Why is it so complicated?"

You rolled your head to the side to look at him, meeting his gaze. There was an ease between the two of you that had long since obliterated any awkwardness, but tonight felt different, like the alcohol had loosened something even deeper. “Exactly! It shouldn’t be this hard,” you muttered, biting your lip in frustration. “I just want someone to fuck me good. Is that really too much to ask?”

He raised an eyebrow, his lips quirking into an amused smile. "So... what happened to that guy you went out with the other day? Soobin, right? You seemed pretty into him."

You huffed, your frustration bubbling over again as you grabbed the last half-empty bottle of soju, taking a long swig before answering. “Soobin’s sweet. He’s funny, and yeah, he’s super handsome. But… he didn’t make me cum. Like, not even close.”

Jake winced, a sympathetic look crossing his face. "Oof, that sucks."

“Right?” You groaned again, tossing the bottle back onto the coffee table. “Like, he was doing everything right, but it just… wasn’t happening. And I swear, I was so into him, but it’s like… Ugh!” You threw your hands up in exasperation, staring at the ceiling. “I’m cursed or something. At this point, I’d settle for anyone who knows what the fuck they’re doing.”

He let out a low chuckle, and you looked at him, finding that familiar mischievous glint in his eyes. He raised his hand, running it through his hair as if deep in thought. “I’ve never had that problem,” he said casually, his tone light but teasing.

You narrowed your eyes at him, a mix of amusement and curiosity flooding your thoughts. “Oh, really?” you shot back, tilting your head as you shifted in your seat to face him fully. “So, what? You’re telling me you’ve always been able to make every girl you’ve been with cum?”

Jake shrugged, his grin widening. "Pretty much."

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t help but feel a spark of something at his confidence. You'd known Jake for years, and you knew he wasn’t just talking big to impress you. He had a reputation around campus. "Wow, must be nice," you muttered sarcastically.

Jake leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees, his gaze holding yours. “Maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s the guys you’ve been with.”

You blinked, taken aback by his sudden seriousness. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged again, but his eyes didn’t leave yours, the playful edge in them softening into something more thoughtful. “I mean, sometimes it’s just about chemistry, you know? Maybe these guys just don’t get you. Or maybe…” He hesitated for a second, like he was considering something, before continuing. “Maybe you need someone who actually knows what they’re doing, like you said.”

You frowned, confused by the shift in his tone. “Yeah, that’s what I’ve been saying.”

“No, I mean...” He paused, his gaze dropping to his hands before flicking back up to meet yours. “Maybe someone like… me.”

You stared at him, the weight of his words sinking in slowly. “Wait, what?”

Jake leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest, the grin still playing on his lips, but there was a hint of nervousness in his posture now. “I mean… we’ve been best friends for how long? We know everything about each other. No taboos, right? And I’m just saying…” He shrugged, though there was an intensity in his gaze now that made your heart race. “If you’re looking for someone who knows what they’re doing… well, you know I do.”

The room seemed to grow quieter, the buzz of the alcohol in your system making everything feel a bit slower, a bit more surreal. You blinked at him, trying to process what he was suggesting. “Yunnie… are you saying…?”

“I’m saying,” he said, his voice soft but sure, “if you want someone to fuck you like you deserve, someone who actually knows how to make you come, then… why not me?”

You let out a snort and swatted Jake playfully on the arm. “Oh my God, Yunnie, you shouldn’t joke about that,” you giggled, feeling the warmth of the alcohol buzz in your system. “You’re clearly drunk.”

Jake laughed along with you, his laughter low and infectious. He tilted his head, his eyes sparkling with that familiar mischievous glint that always made you smile. “Yeah, I’m drunk,” he admitted, shrugging casually. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not serious.”

You blinked at him, still smiling, but there was a flutter in your stomach now that you couldn’t ignore. “Come on,” you said, trying to keep the tone light. “You can’t just offer to—what, fuck me—and act like that’s normal.”

His smile widened into a smug, teasing grin, and he leaned back a little, crossing his arms over his chest like he was settling in for a challenge. “Why not? You just said you wanted someone who knows what they’re doing. I do. And you know I’d be good at it.” His voice dropped an octave, turning his playful tone into something more suggestive. “And let’s be real, you’re hot as hell. I’d be lying if I said I never thought about it.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at his words, and you laughed again, though it came out a little breathless. “Jake…”

“What?” he continued, his grin never faltering. “You think I don’t notice the way guys stare at you? You’re gorgeous, smart, and funny. But you’ve been wasting your time with these idiots who can’t even make you cum.” He leaned forward slightly, his voice lowering even more, eyes never leaving yours. “Let me fix that for you.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, and you felt a flush creeping up your neck. This was so far from any conversation you’d ever had with Jake, but the alcohol had loosened something between you two, making it feel like maybe it wasn’t so crazy after all. “This is insane,” you murmured, shaking your head, but there was a note of hesitation in your voice.

Jake didn’t miss it. His grin softened into something more intense, more focused. He leaned forward again, close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from him, and you were suddenly hyper-aware of every inch of space between your bodies. “It doesn’t have to be,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “It wouldn’t change anything. We’re still best friends, right? Best friends can fuck too.”

Your breath caught in your throat. His face was so close now, so close that you could see the flecks of gold in his eyes, the way his lips curved into that confident, teasing smile. His scent—clean, familiar, and slightly tinged with the alcohol—mixed with the heady atmosphere, and you bit your lip, your mind spinning with the possibility. 

He saw the way you hesitated, the way you bit your lip, and his grin turned predatory, like he knew exactly what was going through your mind. He leaned in even closer, his lips just a breath away from yours, his voice low and teasing. “Come on, admit it,” he murmured, his tone laced with heat. “You’ve thought about it before.”

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your ears. Maybe you had, in the back of your mind, wondered what it would be like to kiss Jake, to feel his hands on you. You're best friend was hot, you couldn't deny it. No one with functioning eyes could deny it. But you’d never let yourself seriously entertain the thought—until now.

The alcohol in your system was doing nothing to help you think clearly. Your lips parted slightly, and without realizing it, you leaned in just a fraction more, closing the gap between you both. “This is crazy,” you whispered again, though the protest felt weak now.

Jake’s grin softened into something more serious, his eyes locked on yours. “Maybe. But maybe it’s exactly what you need.”

That did it. Your restraint snapped, and before you could second-guess yourself, you surged forward and kissed him, hard.

Jake reacted instantly, his hand coming up to cup the back of your neck, pulling you even closer as he deepened the kiss. His lips were soft, warm, and they moved against yours with a practiced ease that made your head spin. His tongue brushed against your lower lip, teasing, and you opened up to him, letting him in as your hands fisted in the front of his shirt.

The kiss quickly turned heated, the soft, tentative brushes of lips becoming urgent and hungry. You shifted, climbing into his lap without breaking the kiss, your legs straddling his as you pressed your body against his. The heat between you was palpable, a slow burn that spread through your entire body as you ground your hips down against him.

Jake groaned into the kiss, his hands finding your waist, fingers digging into your hips as he guided your movements. “Fuck,” he muttered against your lips, his voice rough with desire. “You feel so good.”

You pulled back just enough to look at him, your breathing heavy, your lips swollen from the kiss. His eyes were dark, pupils blown wide as he gazed up at you, his hands still gripping your hips tightly, holding you against him.

“You’re crazy,” you whispered, though there was no conviction behind the words. Your body was already on fire, your heart racing as his hands slid up your sides, teasing the skin just under your shirt.

Jake chuckled, that smug grin still playing on his lips as he looked up at you with pure, unfiltered desire. “You’re the one who kissed me,” he teased, his voice low and gravelly.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face. “Yeah, well… shut up,” you muttered, leaning down to kiss him again, this time slower, savoring the way his lips moved against yours, the way his hands roamed your body, igniting sparks everywhere he touched.

The kiss deepened, becoming even more heated as Jake’s hands slid up under your shirt, his fingers brushing against the bare skin of your back. You gasped into the kiss, your body arching into his touch, and he took the opportunity to flip you over, pressing you back into the couch cushions as he settled between your legs, his lips never leaving yours.

His weight on top of you felt solid, grounding, and you moaned softly as his hands roamed your body, his fingers tracing the curve of your waist, the dip of your hips. Every touch sent a shiver down your spine, and you felt the heat pooling low in your stomach as he kissed you harder, his body pressing against yours in all the right ways.

“Jake,” you breathed out, your hands tangling in his hair as he kissed down your neck, his lips grazing the sensitive skin there, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

“Mm?” he hummed, his voice vibrating against your skin as he nipped lightly at your collarbone, his hands still exploring your body, sliding under your shirt, teasing the edge of your bra.

“This is insane,” you whispered, but there was no stopping now, and you both knew it.

Jake grinned against your skin, pulling back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark and filled with desire. “Maybe,” he agreed, his voice rough and low. “But you’re loving every second of it. Like a good little girl," he murmured against the skin of your neck, his breath hot as he praised you. The term affectionate yet assertive sent a thrill through you. You arched your back, pressing closer to him, craving more of his touch, more of his approval.

Jake seemed to sense your need, his hands moving with more confidence, sliding up your thighs, his fingers teasing under the hem of your skirt. “You like that, huh?” he asked, his voice a low growl in your ear. You nodded breathlessly, unable to form words as his fingers danced dangerously close to where you wanted him most.

But he pulled back slightly, looking down at you with a smirk. “Say it,” he commanded softly, his eyes locking onto yours.

“Fuck, yeah,” you managed, your voice shaky with desire.

“Mmm, I thought so,” he said, his fingers now slipping under the fabric, his touch bold and knowing. His confidence was intoxicating, his every move calculated to heighten your arousal.

He shifted, positioning himself between your spread legs, his hands roaming freely. “You’re so responsive,” he whispered, his lips trailing down your collarbone, nipping gently.

His hand moved higher, thumb brushing over the fabric of your underwear, his other hand cradling your face as he looked into your eyes, an intense gaze that held you captive.

You moaned softly, tilting your head back to give him better access as he continued to explore, his movements becoming more insistent. “Please, Jake…”

“What do you want, baby?” he asked, his voice stern yet teasing as he continued to stroke over the fabric, his touch precise as he applied pressure against your clit.

“Please touch me,” you pleaded, the edge in your voice betraying how close you were to losing control.

Jake chuckled, the sound dark and promising. “As you wish,” he murmured before slipping his hand beneath your underwear. His fingers found your wet cunt, and he groaned in appreciation. “So wet for me, aren’t you?”

“Only for you,” you managed to gasp out, feeling him begin to move his fingers in slow, deliberate circles that had you writhing beneath him.

“That’s right,” he praised as he increased the pressure, his thumb circling your clit in a rhythm that had you gasping. “You’re doing so well for me, sweetheart.”

he shifted, his strong hands gripping your hips as he pulled you closer to the edge of the couch. He sat back slightly, watching you with that same intense, predatory look that made your heart race. His hand moved down between your legs again, fingers brushing over your sensitive folds, teasing you.

“You look so good like this,” he murmured, his voice low and commanding. “All spread out, just waiting for me.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as his fingers slid along your folds, slow and deliberate. You felt exposed, completely vulnerable to him, and yet the way he was looking at you made you feel powerful at the same time.

“I can feel how much you want this,” he continued, his thumb brushing over your clit in a slow, torturous circle once again. “So desperate for more.”

You moaned softly, your body responding to his touch instantly, your hips rolling up to meet his hand. “Yunnie… please…”

He smirked, clearly enjoying the effect he had on you. “Please what? You have to be more specific, sweetheart.”

You whimpered, your body aching for him. “Please… do something, anything. I need it.”

He leaned in closer, his lips ghosting over yours but not quite touching. “Good girl,” he whispered before slipping one finger inside you, his movements slow and deliberate as he watched your reaction. “So fucking tight for me,” he murmured, his voice full of praise and something darker.

You gasped, your head falling back against the cushions as he began to move his finger in and out of you, the pressure just enough to drive you wild but not enough to satisfy the growing need inside you. “Yun… more, please…”

He chuckled, adding another finger, stretching you in a way that made your toes curl. “Greedy, aren’t you?” he teased, his pace increasing just slightly as he watched your body writhe beneath him.

The way he was talking, the way he praised and teased you, had you on edge, your body thrumming with desire as he expertly worked his fingers inside you. His thumb found your clit again, circling it in a steady rhythm that had your breath coming in ragged gasps.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he growled, his voice dripping with lust. “So wet and tight around my fingers.”

You could barely respond, the pleasure building too quickly. He leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, “I want you to come for me, baby. I want to feel you fall apart. You can do that for me, mh?”

His command sent a shockwave through you, and you arched your back, your body clenching around his fingers as you teetered on the edge. He added a third finger, filling you completely, his thumb pressing harder against your clit.

You cried out, your body shuddering as the orgasm ripped through you, your muscles tightening around his fingers as he continued to pump them in and out of you, drawing out every last wave of pleasure. Your vision blurred, your body trembling as you came, Jake’s fingers working you through it, his touch never relenting.

As the aftershocks rippled through your body, he slowed his movements, his fingers still inside you, gently stroking, making sure you felt every last bit of sensation before he finally withdrew them.

He looked down at you, a satisfied, smug grin on his face

. His fingers, still glistening from you, slid between your parted lips before you could even react, his dominant side shining through. “Taste yourself,” he ordered softly, his voice laced with a commanding edge that sent a jolt of electricity through your already overstimulated body.

Your lips wrapped around his fingers instinctively, tasting yourself on his skin. He watched you closely, eyes dark with desire, as you obediently sucked his fingers, your tongue swirling around them. The taste was musky, sweet, and raw, and his gaze on you made it all the more intense. He bit his bottom lip, clearly enjoying the sight of you like this, his fingers deep in your mouth. 

“That’s it,” Jake murmured, his voice rough with lust. “You’re such a good girl. You love this, don’t you?” His thumb brushed over your cheek as you nodded, your body aching for him again despite the intensity of what had just happened.

He grinned down at you, that same cocky, confident smirk that had driven you wild all night. “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, sliding his fingers out of your mouth with a soft pop. He brought his lips to yours, kissing you hungrily, tasting both of you as he claimed your mouth once more. His kiss was dominant, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip before he pulled back slightly, his eyes gleaming with something darker, more primal.

Jake’s hands moved down your body, caressing your sides, your thighs, teasing every inch of skin until his fingers slipped under your waistband again, pulling your panties down with ease. His lips twitched into a wicked grin as he settled between your thighs, spreading them open with firm, confident hands. “I need to taste you again.”

You whimpered softly at his words, already squirming beneath him, your body hypersensitive from the last orgasm. But Jake didn’t seem to care. If anything, your whininess seemed to fuel him.

Without another word, he lowered himself, his lips brushing teasingly against your inner thigh before moving closer, his breath warm and heavy against your already wet cunt. He paused for just a moment, glancing up at you with a predatory look in his eyes. “Don’t hold back,” he ordered, his voice low and authoritative. “I want to hear every sound.”

Before you could respond, his mouth was on you.

The first stroke of his tongue sent a shockwave through your body, and you couldn’t stop the high-pitched moan that slipped from your lips. Jake groaned in satisfaction at the sound, gripping your thighs tighter to keep you still as he dove in, his tongue swirling and flicking against your cunt with precision and expertise that left you gasping for air.

“Oh, God—yunnie…” you whimpered, your voice breathy and broken as your hands flew to his hair, tangling in the strands. He groaned against you, the vibration of his voice sending sparks of pleasure through your entire body.

He was relentless, his tongue alternating between soft, teasing strokes and firm, direct pressure, his lips wrapping around your clit as he sucked lightly, just enough to make you squirm and cry out. “Hmm, so sweet,” he murmured against you, his voice rough with need. “So fucking perfect.”

You were falling apart beneath him, your hips grinding against his face as you chased the pleasure he was giving you, but he was in complete control. His hands held you firmly, keeping you exactly where he wanted you, his mouth moving expertly over you, driving you higher and higher.

Your body felt like it was on fire, every nerve ending alight with the sensations he was giving you. And the sounds—your soft whimpers, the breathless gasps, the desperate moans—Jake couldn’t get enough of them. “That’s it,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire between licks. “Let me hear you. I love the way you sound.”

“Jake, please…” you begged, your voice trembling as the pleasure built, your legs trembling against him. You were getting close again, too close, and he knew it.

“Good girl,” he praised, his lips pressing a kiss to your clit before diving back in, sucking hard enough to make you cry out. “I want you to come on my tongue. I want to taste every bit of you.”

The way he said it—his voice so husky—sent you spiraling. You were whiny now, completely at his mercy, every stroke of his tongue pushing you closer to the edge. Jake was relentless, his mouth never letting up as his hands dug into your thighs, holding you in place as he devoured you.

You couldn’t hold back any longer. With a sharp cry, your body tensed, and you came, hard, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave. Your thighs shook as Jake continued to lick and suck, drawing out every last bit of pleasure until you were a trembling, gasping mess beneath him.

When you finally stilled, your chest heaving, Jake pulled back, his face flushed, his lips glistening with your arousal. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, grinning at you with that same smug, satisfied look. “You taste fucking amazing,” he said, his voice low and rough as he climbed back up your body, his hands still lingering on your skin. “I could do that all night.”

You were still catching your breath, your body limp beneath him, but his words sent another wave of heat through you. He leaned down, pressing a slow, deep kiss to your lips, letting you taste yourself on his mouth.

As Jake's mouth left a blazing trail up your body, the air between you charged with an almost electric tension, your need for him grew desperate. The way he had consumed you, driven you to edge after edge, had left you breathless, yet craving something more, something deeper. Lying beneath him, your body still quivering with aftershocks, you found your voice, a whisper filled with raw need. 

"yun, please," you pleaded, your eyes wide as they locked onto his, filled with an earnest desire that you knew he could never resist. "I need you inside me now."

Jake's eyes darkened further, the intensity within them spiking at your words. The sight of you, so vulnerable, so utterly open and needing him, seemed to unravel the last threads of his control. He cursed under his breath, a low, husky sound that sent shivers down your spine. 

"Fuck," he breathed out, his hands already moving to quickly rid himself of his remaining clothes. The sound of fabric rustling was brief, and soon he was as bare as you, his desire evident, his readiness to claim you palpable in the air.

Without another word, but with a gaze that seared into you, Jake positioned himself at your entrance. His hand gripped your thigh, lifting and spreading you open to him as he lined himself up. The head of his cock teased at your wetness, making you both groan at the contact.

Then, with a thrust that left no room for doubt in his intent, he entered you fully, burying himself deep within you in one smooth, firm motion. You cried out, a sound of pure ecstasy, as he filled you completely, stretching you, completing the connection that your bodies seemed to crave.

"You're so tight, so fucking perfect," Jake growled, his voice a blend of admiration and raw lust as he began to move. His thrusts were powerful and deliberate, each one driving deep, hitting just the right spots to make your vision blur.

His hands were everywhere, gripping your hips, your thighs, pulling you into every thrust. "Look at you, so desperate for it," he taunted softly, his words degrading yet laced with an undeniable affection that only heightened the intensity between you. "You love this, don't you? My cock filling you up?"

"F-fuck, y-yes," you managed to stammer, the pleasure making it hard to form coherent thoughts. "Please, more, yun, please…"

"That’s it, beg for it," he commanded, his voice rough as his pace quickened, his thrusts becoming even more forceful. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, punctuated by your moans and his heavy breathing.

"All fucking mine," he asserted again, leaning down to capture your lips in a fierce, possessive kiss that stole your breath away. His lips then trailed to your ear, where he whispered, "Cum for me. I can feel you pulse around me."

The combination of his deep, relentless thrusts and his commanding voice was too much. You felt another climax building rapidly, more intense than the last. "yunnie, I'm going to—" you gasped, unable to finish your sentence as the wave broke over you.

"Fuck, yes," Jake encouraged, feeling your walls tighten around him, sucking him in so deliciously. He wouldn't last long if you continued to clench around him like that. But he kept moving, relentless, driven by the sounds of your pleasure, by the feel of you clenching around him. "That’s it, come for me, come on my cock."

You did, spectacularly, your entire body convulsing as you clung to him, your cries filling the room. And still, he didn't stop, his thrusts never faltering, drawing out your orgasm, prolonging the bliss until you were limp and spent beneath him.

Jake finally slowed, his movements gentling as he came down from his own high, his climax evident in his strained expression and the deep, guttural sound that escaped him as he came inside you, painting your walls white. He collapsed beside you, both of you slick with sweat, breathing heavily, yet wrapped in a profound satisfaction.

Jake, still breathing heavily, let out a low chuckle, pulled out of you, and rolled onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow as he looked at you, a satisfied, almost cocky grin on his face. “Wow, that was... something,” he said, his voice laced with humor and exhaustion.

You laughed weakly, your chest rising and falling as you tried to catch your breath. “Yeah,” you agreed, “something is an understatement.”

Jake smirked, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from your sweaty forehead. “How are you feeling? You good?” His tone softened, the teasing edge giving way to genuine concern as he gently ran his hand along your arm.

You smiled at him, feeling a warmth that had nothing to do with the physicality of what just happened. “Yeah, I’m good. Exhausted, but good.”

He nodded, his fingers lightly tracing patterns on your skin. "Hold on," he said suddenly, getting up with a slight groan, clearly as drained as you were. You watched him as he fumbled for the blanket draped over the back of the couch. He grabbed it, then plopped back down beside you, draping it over both of you before pulling you close to his chest.

"Comfy now?" he asked, his voice softer, more affectionate, as his fingers absentmindedly stroked your arm, grounding you in the moment.

You nestled into him, feeling safe and warm in the cocoon of the blanket and his embrace. “Yeah, much better. You?”

He chuckled, running a hand through his messy hair. “Completely wrecked, to be honest,” he admitted, a sheepish grin crossing his face. “But in the best way.”

You laughed, your body still humming with the aftereffects of everything, but now wrapped in a comforting warmth. “Same. I don’t think I can move for at least a week.”

Jake smirked and kissed the top of your head, his voice dipping into a teasing tone again. “Well, if that’s the price of making you come multiple times, I’d say it’s worth it.”

You snorted, nudging him with your elbow. “Stop it,” you giggled. “You’re going to give yourself a bigger ego than you already have.”

Jake grinned, unabashed. “Can you blame me? I mean…” He gestured vaguely to your still-tangled bodies, raising an eyebrow. “That was pretty fucking impressive.”

You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling. “Okay, fine, I’ll give you that,” you conceded. “But let’s not make it a habit of me being unable to walk after.”

His grin turned mischievous as he pulled you even closer. “No promises. But hey, maybe we should do this more often. You know, for... stress relief. Studies show it’s great for mental health,” he said with an exaggerated air of seriousness.

You burst into laughter, shaking your head. “Oh, really? Studies, huh?”

“Yep,” he nodded sagely, trying and failing to keep a straight face. “As your best friend, it’s my duty to make sure you’re properly… taken care of.”

You smacked him lightly on the chest, but your laughter was infectious, and he chuckled along with you. “You’re ridiculous,” you said, settling back into the warmth of his embrace.

Jake grinned down at you, his fingers still gently stroking your arm in that calming, soothing way. “Maybe,” he agreed, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “But you like it.”

You smiled, a sense of calm washing over you as the playful banter died down into a comfortable silence. The exhaustion was starting to catch up to both of you, but there was something so peaceful about the way you fit against each other, the post-storm calm settling in.

As your eyes started to drift closed, you mumbled, “We really should do this more often.”

Jake’s voice, equally sleepy but laced with amusement, replied, “That’s the smartest thing you’ve said all night.”

[billsbabydoll]

“𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒻𝒾𝓍𝒶𝒷𝓁ℯ, 𝒸𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒷𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀 𝓉𝒽𝓇ℴ𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓌ℴ𝓇𝓁𝒹.”

contains:HARSH ANGST+SMUT<3

summary:finally getting sick of bills toxicity and instability, i packed up all of my belongings and planned to “leave him” or as i stupidly told myself, only to find myself easily falling back into his same hypnotizing trap.

WARNINGS:abusive relationship, fighting, arguing, manipulation (I DO NOT CONDONE ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS in this story, this story is ONLY for entertainment purposes!!!), very narcissistic and misogynistic bill, hard-dom!bill, dumb-sub!reader, p in v (against the wall), degrading, pet-names, LIGHT choking, heavy breeding kink.

notes:as someone who has experienced theses types of situations firsthand, if you ever do find yourself in these kinds of circumstances please take the initial steps to get yourself out that relationship immediately, youll be fine i promise love ya!

HEAVY THEMES AHEAD!

“yeah go fucking cry about it you sensitive bitch, get the fuck outta’ my face!”bill loudly shouted at me from the living room as i ran and locked myself into our shared bedroom, tears streaming profusely down my cheeks, as i tumbled onto the bed and proceeded to curl myself up into a small pathetic ball.

im tired of living like this, being so isolated, feeling so trapped, being so mentally and physically drained, having to constantly walk around eggshells around him.

me and bills relationship was a perfect fairytale in the beginning, but quickly came burning down in flames and burnt down to pure ashes at his rage.his anger completely undoing every single precious thing he ever once said to me.

every “i love you.” or “i cant wait to start a life with you.” was once a simple loving string of words now being dangled high above my head as a reminder of his broken promises.

i still cling onto that small glimmer of hope that he could change some-day, that he could love me again, or that he could simply hold me without hurting me.

i lay in my own pity for a long grueling hour before i decide to slowly unravel myself from my position, gently getting up from the bed, wiping the tears from my eyes telling myself,

“i need to leave,

right now.”

i kick into full panic mode and immediately start changing into a dark colored tracksuit and a comfortable pair of sneakers, then i rummage through our closet grabbing random handfuls of my belongings stuffing my suitcase to the brim.

i quietly creak the bedroom door open and make my way through the dark hallway, my luggage in one hand as i try to rush towards the front door.

“going somewhere babe?”he eerily questioned, his evil presence immediately sending cold chills down my spine.

“i-i-uhm..”i mumbled trying to find some kind of explanation but it was if something was struck in my throat, i looked like a child who just got caught with my hand in the cookie jar.

“im leaving!”i managed to spit out, slowly turning to face him.

“oh your leaving?”he responded in a cartoonish voice mocking my own, chuckling manically at my response.

he crosses his arms over his chest as he cockily looks me up and down, he then quickly steps forward grabbing me by my chin with his right hand, yanking a fistful of my hair with his left.

“cant you see THIS is the life i promised you honey?you know no-ones ever gonna buy you all those pretty dresses you like wearing f’me, provide for you like i do, or keep a GODDAMN roof over your head like i do!”

what he was saying was true, without him i wouldnt have a single penny to my name.he took care of every expense, he even had me on a monthly allowance but he didnt do anything of it out of the goodness of his heart he rather used it to his advantage knowing hed always win.

“i know i know but, i-im tired of you being like this bill, im sick of it!i swear ill give it all back if thats what you really want!”i nervously murmured, his grip on my chin and hair tightening.

“your such an ungrateful brat, you dont even deserve to be breathing the same air as me, i shouldve just throw you out months ago like the trashy bitch you are.”

he yelled into my face before slamming me against the wall letting go of some of his grip on me as he pulled down his pants and boxers along with my sweatpants and panties.

“you wanna be treated like a worthless whore ill fucking treat you like one then.“

he wrapped one of his arms strongly around my neck keeping me in place, as he teased his cock in between my slicks folds, causing me to softly whimper.

“aww…look at you poor baby, you just wanted some attention huh, want me to fuck you isnt that right?”he purred squeezing my neck firmly in his arm, sliding his length harshly inside my walls.

though i hated to admit it, it truly turned me on how possessive and upset he got when i tried leaving it showed me he still sort-of cared.the fact he still had enough respect to still fuck me was enough to have me eating right out of his palm, anytime he showed me the slightest bit of affection it casted his spell over me all over again.

he continued thrusting his full length inside my cunt, beginning to aggressively pound away, my head banging against the cold wall.

“ugh-i shouldnt even be mmhtouching you right now ungrateful bitch!”he shouted, his free hand slapping my ass sure enough to leave hand prints the next morning.

“f-fuck fuck, im ughh-yours baby!”i moaned out, tears beginning to spill from my eyes, his tip kissing my cervix perfectly.

“das ist r-richtig, mhm!du gehst verdammt noch mal nirgendwo hin(thats right, your not going fucking anywhere),

gonna fill you all up, hopefully y-you get pregnant that way your ugh-stuck with me!”

the sound of our moans combined with the banging on the wall echoed throughout the house, the faint tv not even being enough to cover up his disgusting insults and my foul cries.

“b-bill ugh please i c-cant!”

“take my f-fucking cock mhmy little cum slut!”

his hips are bucking into mine at an animalistic pace as he urgently chases his release, my walls deliciously clenching around his girth, sending him immediately over the edge.

“scheibe scheibe scheibe(shit shit shit!)”he yelled out suddenly fucking his cock deeper inside my sweet walls, ropes of his seed oozing deep inside my pussy.

“ich w-werde ganz in dir abspritzen du mmh-dumme s-schlampe, ich werde dich mit meinem verdammten baby schwängern (im gonna cum all inside you, stupid slut, im gonna get you pregnant with my baby!)”he adds breeding his cum inside me with a few final thrusts, pulling his length out of me with a loud pop.

bill then releases me from his arm allowing me to slam down onto the floor, pulling his pants up smugly as he knelt down to my level.

“next time im beating the fuck outta’ this was me playing nice, understood? now go make me some dinner before you piss me off again.”

i nod my head instantly at his demands, rubbing the side of my cheek that hit the ground.

“such a good little girl, i love you.” he praised grinning widely down at me before getting back up and walking away from me.

“i love you too.”

and the cycle continues.

THE END

[warmhealerr]

Writing relationship summaries for Ta'rath in Obsidian and I'm feeling like sharing what I wrote about them and The Emperor.

Note : I use he/it pronouns interchangeably for The Emperor.

Initially wary of the Dream Guardian, Ta'rath remains willing to listen to their wisdom. Though their tadpole consumption and growing Illithid potential is unparalleled in the party, Ta'rath only significantly warms up to The Emperor through Act 3's beginning. As Emp's identify is revealed, they do not flinch away. They immediately accept the Astral tadpole -forbidden fruit- to spite Orpheus mostly, but also to welcome a touch of the Astral in them. They are in fact quite moved by such a gift. The Astral Plane is very dear to them, something they always thought out of reach for someone like them.

Perhaps it is their growing fascination for Illithids and becoming one, perhaps it is the fact they understand keeping secrets and lying for your own safety firsthand, perhaps it's their non judgemental nature, but they really start hitting it off with The Emperor from there. They would hang out a lot together in the Astral Prism at night. Emps is ahead of Ta'rath when it comes to reading their emotions and resolve. He is careful in trying to nurture their withering healthier thoughts, without enabling the also growing impulse to free Orpheus, for obvious reasons. It is aware of the dramatic changes becoming Illithid can bring and is really trying to help preserve Ta'rath's evolving integrity as they go through partial ceremorphosis. The one thing it hadn't really predicted was the weirdly growing connection to the Far Realms that would plague them, making their emotions far more volatile than they should be and their ego shift more dangerous. Despite Ta'rath lashing out a lot more at the rest of party, Emps knows how to keep them grounded. Ta'rath cherishes theses moments of peace through the endless cosmic calls, the everyday frustration and fear. They were both genuinely looking forward to building something together long term.

I can't even begin to tell you how heartbroken Ta'rath was in the ending, when they ended up choosing hope for the Githyanki's future over their partner. They knocked out Emps atop the Elder Brain. When the brain started falling and they realized the Astral tadpole just wasn't gonna die, they rushed mid fall to grab The Emperor and save him. They refused to let go. Hovering above water, they dragged it to shore. They entrusted their party with the still unconscious Emperor before embarking with the Githyanki. They never got to see each other again beside a letter from The Emperor.

Sometimes they swear they can feel a familiar wave brushing their thoughts, but they figure it's just echoing memories.

[mekachu04]

19. Pirate King

Kidd - 4 | Killer - 8

Tags specifically for this chapter:

songfic again - same song as before

our babies have a good night for once

the adult men are not being creepy

which is rare for me, i know...

when i'm talking about the dock workers from here on out > they see Killer as a little brother or a son

Read at A03 linked above or here below cut

Drabbles from Pocket Jack's KiKi-tober Prompt list

One thing that could be counted on was the crowds of men every two weeks that his the port side taverns in mass. And without fail, every 14 nights, Killer would wait until the sun was firmly down before crawling in the back windows of Eustass' Tavern & Inn and sneak his way into the front of the house.

Eustass himself would have long thrown him out had he tried the front door, but Mòr Mhàthair was a soft touch, and as long as he waited until the dock workers were in their cups, she let him roam from table to table, polishing off plates of forgotten diners. Sometimes other street kids would show up but most of them didn't know the tricks to staying and would get kicked out the next week or never make it in the doorway to start with. But there were lots of other pickings on these nights, and Killer never once felt bad watching one of them get tossed out as he hid in the shadow of a chatty drunk and ate him out of his hard earned coin.

Away to the cheating world go you,

He had to listen to their terrible ditties, week after week, so he thought the meal was really only fair. By the time Killer usually arrived, the singing had already started and he just hoped they were fun ones instead of the sadder ones about loosing loves and such.

They were already well into it this night, the change up only being the other boy that seemed to be around more often theses days, a chubby little red head that Killer suspected might be Mòr Mhàthair's boy or nephew or something, or otherwise maybe the cook's son.

He was in the thick of it tonight, tiny little form standing on the table in the middle of the room with a crowd of drunkards, all bellowing the words out together. He had to be 4 or 5 at the most, probably looking forward to starting school like all the other good kids that belongs to people, Killer mused.

A bright shock of short red hair, unruly and ruffled from the hands of many a dock worker, thinking him some kind of good luck charm. By the end of the night it be sticking out at every angle, like the rays of the sun on a children's drawing. Killer would watch him ever few weeks as he soaked in the attention of those not fortunate enough to have families of their own. He was magnet for the downtrodden it seemed, a little mascot the laborers rallied behind every paycheck night.

Where pirates all are well to do,

Some weeks, the kid would even turn to him as the hours drew late, when sleep started to override the joy of being somewhere warm and well fed. Killer was always careful to leave before last call, never giving the matron a reason to turn him away next time. The kid never had this restriction, and would watch him quietly as he snuck out of whatever booth he'd camped in for the night, slipping out of the back.

The one time Killer had looked back, the boy had waved at him, a sad little bye. Killer didn't return the gesture. Not that night.

But after a few months, the kid would see him and grin, and he'd find himself smiling shyly back across the noisy tavern.

And as the spring turned to summer, Killer finally waved goodbye back.

But I'll be true to the song I sing,

Sometimes, the kid would try to include him in the group's singing, especially the nights when they sang his favorite song: the pirate king anthem. Killer was mortified to be the center of the room's attention, and had hid under the table until one of the dock workers took pity on him and picked him back up to sit on the bench next to him, hidden from the room in general with an arm thrown over his shoulder and just tucked in close.

Most city people didn't want Killer anywhere near them - said he smelled funny and suspected he'd try to pickpocket them. Which was true for both cases more often that not. But the dock workers didn't particularly smell great either, and the dock master often gave him little jobs to do so he'd quickly become a familiar face to many of the men. And this one was pushing his half finished dinner in front of Killer so Killer really didn't have much motivation to steal from him. And week by week, he'd find himself shyly hiding from the boy at Eustass' behind one laborer or another, and it seemed to be a great source of entertainment for the blue-collar workers.

And live and die the Pirate King!

For a little pocket of time, every fourteen days, Killer felt like this must be what a family felt like. Sitting next to some man too rough and tumble to be a father to any real child; warm and dry, belly full of delicious properly cooked food. He'd listen to them spin fantastical yarns, then the sunshine boy himself would come sit next to him and demand songs from the men, and every time, someone would break out into one, and a cacophony of out of tune drunks would rattle the windows and Sunshine Boy would turn and beam at him like it was the neatest trick he'd ever learn to do. And maybe it was.

Killer would smile back, listening to the men warble on about Pirate Kings and Bink's Brew and in the days to follow would day dream about letting those silly ballads take him away from Kutsukku for good. Maybe he'd take Eustass' Sunshine Boy with him.

[lady-ashfade]

To be fair to that anon with a great request idea.

They probably sent it to a few as not all write the requests. Which is fair. You guys are the writers you guys get to chose what the hell you want to write.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with sending it to a few so long as you can link it to the request. That then shows how you were sent it if another writes their own idea for it too.

Plus being able to compare and see how different or how each writer might have been on the same wavelength for ideas is cool.

The only ones in the wrong are the muppets who think it is okay to send threats to people. They are the pricks. Not you, the writers or the anon, the person who wants an idea wrote out by multiple awesome writers.

You are valid in what you said but at the same time don’t take it out on request blogs/anons who just want to see their fave writers write what they thought of and see it brought to life by your awesome writing. Plus like I said above some ignore requests and some just don’t want to write that request which is fine. But that is why they send it to more than one.

I don’t mean to be a bad person here. Or a prick. I am going to be a prick to the jackarses though who think sending threats is something that should be done. You lot can feck write off. Let people enjoy writing what they want, let writers write a request that was sent to many and see how different but wonderful they could all be.

Anyway I am sorry this is so long. I hope it makes sense. You and anon = good, pricks who send threats which is why you wrote what you did = shitheads.

I hope you have a nice day and I look forward to reading more of your awesome fics. (I do hope one day you may decide to write what the anon wrote as it sounds like a wicked idea and with your amazing writing it would be so so so damn good, again it’s up to you. I understand if you don’t want to).

Have a good Sunday 😁

No I get where you’re coming from for sure. I hope one day we can all do the same requests.

But if I had wrote the request and didn’t see that someone else with a bigger platform did it- I’d most likely getting threats.

This is not mine, but a lovely person @starless-nightz

I am really upset that people do this is, which is why I put it in my rules. Which someone should always read. I was completely upset. I am valid in my feelings because I know first hand what things like this can do.

Link here for the post of someone doing something similar to someone else.

The problem with sending it to a few writers, it doesn’t go over well. If I didn’t see my FRIEND make it then who knows if someone else got it and they got hate, or me, or someone else.

And I already have a idea similar to that. But I will never write that request to show peoples that it’s completely wrong. I’m not mad at you lovely Anon! But theses things can’t be easily fixed. People need to learn. Also I’m not okay with writing what someone else has done for this reason. That’s a big no no in this community and I, and others feel strongly.

Anon might not have meant harm. But they could cause harm. And it’s in my rules-

Anyone sorry if I came off as a asshole but this really needs to be said. I’m so tired of seeing people get hate. It makes me really upset. But you’re lovely, and I also hope to do what you said in the future and get your point of view and wish- that we all can do asks. I just find it disrespectful.

Also if they weren’t Anon i would have messaged them privately instead of what I made.

I’m sorry to the person who sent that request, but it’s not something to do when many others with the same rules for requesting get ignored. I’m happy to talk to them privately and explain. But I will never, and I mean never be afraid to speak my mind.

Sorry if I seem like a asshole again, this message has made me cry and feel overwhelmed.

Edit: I am over having a panic attack- anon I love you and you’re really nice. I will try and be a better person

[jaimeshonorhardon]

ned/jaime fic concept

modern au jaime post figuring out his trauma works at an animal shelter for dogs

Single dad Ned finds a bunch of “puppies” by the road and is like idk what kind these are and takes them to get checked and vetted up before taking them home and he goes to jaimes shelter and like he doesn’t expect him there and Jaime leaves him with a bad taste in his mouth but like his kids will love these puppies and is like hey can u tell me what these are and give them their shots so I can go and jaimes just like u dumb sexy idiot I have bad history with these are WOLVES how did you find theses?????? U were gonna give them to children ?????? Jaime instantly needing to have sex with this fucking idiot. Post cersei he hasn’t been with anyone in years due to insecurities/major blows to his confidence (cersei trauma and no hand trauma) and the lack of practice in genuine flirting besides a little thing he had with his bestie (brienne) but they were both going thru some shit and are just family now but he literally hasn’t been interested in anyone either (demisexual jaime rights) so he literally is just stumbling and blushing and then just blatantly flirting but ned thinks that’s just how he’s always been but maybe a little more nervous than usual so doesn’t really get it

But also later for jaime truly falling for him it’s because ned is just such a good dad (obviously ruggedly hot but that’s besides the point) with a heart of gold like he’s a single dad of fucking 6 plus Theon so 7 and is super busy with his company but makes time for all of those fucking kids and all of their activities and for ned—ned is just like wow Jaime is really good with these dogs they really like him animals know best plus he’s very very good at his job just something about an efficient man that animals like he seems changed and a good person now plus he’s gorgeous and my kids don’t mind him I’ll let myself love him :)

but Jaime at first is just purely horny for ned (that’s just what he tells himself) and then eventually is like oh no…..I am in love with this old caring father while said father at first had no idea what was going on but after they fuck he immediately and silently in his head decides he’s romantically seeing where things go and falls in love gradually and naturally compared to jaimes bomb of a realization one day as he has no practice in this besides having always been “in love” (imagine post trauma Jaime also air quoting) with cersei and ned was fully married and in love before

FUCK and of course Jaime has to go over periodically to check on the wolves growth and behavior cuz like that’s what ALL vets do right …right??!!?? He tells himself yes of course 😅 I’m not being too secretly crazy in love I’m just being helpful! He won’t catch on! Ned goes from oblivous to begrudgingly accepting into making it apart of his life and something to look forward to with Jaime in their initial stages of romance while jaime is just internally screaming that he hopes ned doesn’t catch onto his feelings and how much he needs ned in his life and cares and if he rejects him cuz cersei never gave a single shit about any of his true feelings and he cannot handle losing the best man he’s ever met even as a kind of friend he’s fucking and helping taking care of his wolves and kids (jaime is their second dad at this point he’s the only one who doesn’t know)

He also thinks ned doesn’t know what to do with all these dogs anyway he’s a busy man with 7 kids he needs help these poor wolves probably aren’t getting proper care and the children need rides to school which is on his way to work (jaime is the one not getting proper care and ned can tell the man is low key struggling on his own why not just add another one into the pack more the merrier)

And of course ned has a huge property and one of the pups gets lost late at night and he calls Jaime to help and they get snowed in at some cabin at the end of the property where the little pup took shelter (probs ghost bc he’s harder to find and quiet so it would take until nightfall) and ya know ~things~ happen between the two men

I need those two mfs to be locked in a cabin so bad idk …

[cloudshoregames]

Forward Intelligence: BTE Overdrive - Counter Paranormal Equipment

Greetings, Dan here!

Today we return to our ongoing previews of Beneath Twisted Earth: Overdrive, the first supplement for BTE! This time we're taking a look at some of the supernatural elements that can be added to your campaigns, namely Counter Paranormal Equipment. This type of equipment comprises all new Utilities, Weapon Mods, and Disposables all designed to either counter paranormal threats through the use of reality bending technology. In addition to the 12 new pieces of equipment for each of theses categories available to all pilots, for those who choose to undertake missions from a dangerous, enigmatic new faction known as The Nephilim Foundation, they can gain access to an additional 5 new options for each type of equipment. That's a grand total of 51 new pieces of equipment, (and that's not even counting the X Tech Parts we'll cover next time).

These counter paranormal pieces of equipment are designed to counter Eldritch enemies, combat anomalous environmental effects, and use esoteric technology to perform unprecedented acts on the battlefield. Below, I have included one example for each category of equipment that can be expected:

Utilities

Spatial Slip Frame: As an action the mech may instantaneously teleport to any unoccupied space within range of its current Movement Rate. Using this utility system counts as a movement action.

Weapon Mods

Vitae Infuser: As an action, this device will temporarily infuse the equipped weapon with the pilot’s life force, allowing all damage done on the next attack action to deal an additional 3 damage per hit. Regardless of how many hits a target takes, the pilot will immediately lose 2 HP per ammunition used during the attack action. By the end of that action, the life force infused has been expended, and the infuser will need to be activated as an action again for the next use.

Disposables

Psionic Grenade Bandolier: This bandolier holds three psionic grenades. As an action, each grenade can be thrown out to medium range at a designated target by making a mech piloting check. On a success the grenade lands as intended, emitting a psychic shriek, dealing 2d6 health point damage to the target and any additional within melee range. This effect is not hindered by physical obstacles and technological targets are immune.

Overall, just as the paranormal elements being added to the game will allow for groups to pursue new types of stories in their arks, the counter paranormal equipment adds new avenues for combat even beyond missions dealing with the supernatural. Next time, we'll be taking a look at a new type of high end primary mech parts that surpass even Sakura Industries' capabilities when we take a look at X Tech. 

Before I go, I wanted to reassure everyone that the premium versions are very close to completion. Currently we're aiming for release on the tail end of summer. As always should anything cause further delays I will keep you apprised as to what to expect, but everyone is very excited to wrap up this first run of the game. As a treat, I've included another spread preview from the premium version for you to enjoy:

Until then, thank you for your interest, and I look forward to seeing you at the launch of the Beneath Twisted Earth Premium Versions and Beneath Twisted Earth: Overdrive!

[poppyseedgirly]

i walk up and down the creaky floorboards in the grocery store beer and wine department, i’m more familiar with beer and cigarette brands than i ever have in my life, i don’t smoke but id like to try one of every cigarette, i want to feel the differences, i enjoy when a song i know comes on the radio, i sing and hum and sweep and step step spin i dance down the beer aisle when its slow, something in the orange, karma is my boyfriend, the man with no voice mouths to me you are a very beautiful girl, the effort to say so is sweet and not in a creepy way like usual, he buys two beer cans, i voice back thank you. i have a crush on my boss and i don’t know what to do about it so i think i try to pretend i don’t sometimes, he’s hard to read, i wish i didn’t get so nervous or maybe i wish i knew how to navigate through the nervousness, i think i will with time, its funny and fun to me, and the little things charm me and im curious, maybe it’s just enough to yearn for for now but i don’t want to live that way either, im trying to figure out next steps, i shuffle and dance to my car at night because its mine and i did that, i look at apartments, i order custom shampoo, poppet stares at me with moon eyes and i cry into her belly and muffled i say i am going to build us such a beautiful life and that's the motto i want to share with her, she butts my leg, she always knows, and maybe it already is beautiful, i talk about cats being angels all the time, everyone agrees, the swing set i would sit at all theses past two years is being dismantled, i haven't been there since, its already getting dark out faster again, i laugh and tear up at the leaves changing on my drive, who would have ever thought, im listening to a youtube video called hold my hand, i don’t want to lose you in the leaves, i dreamt of chicago last night, old roads i used to navigate, a new apartment, different, i’ll stay just for some time i say, but i see the bath has overflowed and there’s snow all over and i keep stepping into endless rooms away from you, i see what you are doing but please i need to go, i wake up and its not you but it is me and i’ve been thinking about what relapsing or regressing means in all of this, there’s only one way to go and it’s through and forward, you’ve left an imprint in my mind, like memory foam but the bed hasn’t lifted quite right, and the gravity shifts funny, comes and goes comes and goes, forgiveness feels far away, it’s been two weeks off of instagram and it hasn’t been so hard, i get the urge here and there, to check and check and check for what, deleting it is at least a step in a good direction, i really want to make these rice kripsy treats with cheese puffs and caramel chips, like caramel cheese popcorn vibes, it sounds good to me right now and like a good halloween treat, im doing my best im doing alright im doing okay

[frenchiepal]

Do you have any advice to people just starting to work on their ba thesis? Either specific to your studies or more general (like time management and structure and stuff...)? No pressure if you don't feel like answering, congrats on finishing your thesis and I hope you can really enjoy your summer now! :)

hii there <3 i'm gonna be honest, i'm not sure if i'm the right person to ask for advice on ba thesis planning because i put so much pressure on myself and created stress where it wasn't necessary but i'll try to give some tips that helped me!

- start early: way too many people i know were forced to half ass their thesis, especially towards the end and it's just soo much easier when you don't have to deal with time pressure adding to...normal pressure

- make sure your advisor isn't an asshole: sometimes it's unavoidable but if you have the possibility to choose make sure it's a reliable one!

- always note down EVERYTHING: every question that comes up, every afterthought you want to add, every phrase that randomly pops into your head

- organise your sources smartly: this technically applies to term papers as well but in my experience ba theses tend to have a lot more sources. personally i note down the work i'm citing, the citation itself and the works my work has cited. saves a lot of time later.

- choose a topic that interests you: it makes things so much more enjoyable because even if you find yourself stressed af, at least you don't have to deal with a topic you can't stand

- have people proof-read your thesis: even better if you have some friends who'll focus on grammar and structure and others who know a thing or two about the content

it's hard to give advice for linguistics specifically since it's such a versatile field buuut.....if you're coincidentally using praat for your ba thesis....make sure you know how it works because i realised halfway through that i'd noted down the wrong hertz values.

and most important of all, and i realise this is ironic coming from me, don't stress too much. take days off to relax so you have something to look forward too among all the work. honestly a ba thesis is just a slightly longer term paper and if you already have experience with that it's gonna seem much easier (and afterwards term papers are gonna be child's play lmao <3)

i hope i could help! good luck with your thesis if it's getting closer, you can do ittt💞💞

[autokratorissa]

At a time in which Russia is once again embroiled in an imperialist war and world imperialism is escalating towards catastrophe, I wanted to give a critical precis of Lenin’s so-called April Theses, “The Tasks of the Proletariat in the Present Revolution”. Given the current dearth of socialist internationalism and the continued escalation of imperialist war and competition, it’s useful to look back at moments when our movement was strongest and most mature and how it addressed the same problems with that strength and maturity. So I’m going to summarise his points thesis by thesis, and briefly explain their relevance, as I see them, for us now.

Lenin remains an invaluable source for the modern communist movement, and his most important, pivotal interventions—such as this one—are worth studying, because, for the most part, they show the impetus and demands placed upon a revolutionary movement in extreme clarity, as mediated through an intelligent and dedicated leader. In the April Theses, delivered in the days following Lenin’s return to Petrograd, he advocated for a decisive break with the bourgeois revolution and for the Party to commit itself solely and totally to the working class and its state organs: the soviets.

Introduction: in his preamble, Lenin takes pains to make clear that he welcomes and has actively facilitated genuine, meaningful criticism, even and especially from ‘honest opponents’, including socialist members of the Provisional Government (!). The relevance today: wherever social criticism and political demands are parochial, sect-like, or allergic to the light of day, we must treat them with contempt. Any genuinely socialist, revolutionary message must be public and subject to the broadest scrutiny and readership possible within the limits of the progressive movement; appeal to reactionary criticism is malicious and acts to stifle any forward momentum.

First thesis: there can be no revolutionary war for bourgeois power, only for workers’ power. After the February Revolution, the mainstream socialist leadership supported a policy of “revolutionary defencism”, i.e. of Russia’s continued participation in the First World War, supposedly because of the need to defend the gains of the Revolution. So what makes a revolutionary war? For a war to be worth fighting for the proletariat, i.e. for it to count as a revolutionary war, Lenin proposed three criteria: there must be (a) workers’ state power, that is, it must be a war being fought by the workers all the way up, not just in the human materiel of the army, a war fought for workers’ power by workers’ power; (b) internationalism, that is, there must be a renunciation of any demands for the peace that goes against the international proletariat’s interests, such as annexations or crippling indemnities; (c) ‘a complete break with all capitalist interests’, such as the designs of imperialist alliances. Russia under the Provisional Government failed on all three counts. In the face of a bourgeois war—as Lenin knew Russia’s war to be—the workers’ must pursue, he argued, a policy of internationalism: of the sabotage of the war effort, of propagandising against the war, of the fraternisation of warring armies, not continued fighting. But the masses wanted to defend the Revolution, which was promising them so much after centuries of tsarism, and so even as they desperately wanted peace they listened to the Government when it told them to keep fighting. Lenin, as was so typical of him, emphasised the ‘broad sections of the mass believers’ in false policies; socialists must always be overwhelmingly concerned with the masses. In the grand scheme of things it does not matter what a minority thinks, what minor little strata think: the Party must go to the masses, show them the deception being pulled by the Government, and rally them around their true hope, around their soviets.

The relevance today: to claim that the Ukrainian workers must “defend”—with their lives and livelihoods—the bourgeois regime in Kyiv, or the international proletariat facilitate “their own” imperialist governments’ war drive in Ukraine, or the strategy of tension and genocidal repression in occupied Palestine, or any of the other flash-points of the world, is to exist at a level of social-chauvinism that would put all the apologists of bourgeois power in 1917 Russia to shame, for at least they had the excuse that history was young and moving, that the bourgeois government really was freer than any other country on earth, and that the nascent bourgeois state really was revolutionary, even if it was revolutionary for a hostile class that had become reactionary on the world stage. To “progressively” support the policy of Biden, Zelenskyy, or Putin is, in the historical sense, to make a “progressive” supporter of Lvov or Kerensky blush. It is a mark of just how degenerated the workers’ movement is that such views are fairly easy to find today amongst those who purport socialist politics. And so it is even more important that communists go to masses and propagandise against the bourgeoisie’s wars, against its rule, and support, as the classic formulation goes, every struggle against the present state of things.

Second thesis: Lenin analyses Russia as passing through the epoch of bourgeois rule; the only reason the workers didn’t take power in February, he says, was because of a lack of class consciousness and organisation, i.e., for political reasons rather than economic ones to do with the supposedly immature conditions of Russia for socialism, reasons that, in April, were declining and moving towards a moment of collision. This is one of Lenin’s central insistences throughout his revolutionary life, one of the things that best marks out Leninism as a distinct revolutionary tradition: the insistence on the primacy of politics, on what Mao called the need to put politics in command. The proletariat cannot merely limp behind trends in production and ape out a revolutionary (“revolutionary”) programme on the presumption that socialism is just around the corner, and we need only wait for a X millions more in GDP, for a few more innovations in automation, for a few higher percentage points of inflation. History won't happen without a push. Lenin here stresses the need for the Party to work on this basis, of working in the context of a mass of workers and poor peasants ‘who have just awakened to political life’ and started to recognise the impending need for a new regime but who lack the organisation to fight and to see through the lies of the bourgeois regime.

The relevance for today: we must be aware of the line of historical movement, of the phases through which the world is passing. Imperialism is in crisis conditions and is fighting to get out of it by intensifying the crisis to trigger a resolution through force, i.e. through war. The nature of such a historical movement will politicise broad masses of people who were previously politically inert, and thereby introduce one of Lenin’s conditions for a revolutionary crisis. Communists must be working to bring these newly politicised people onto the workers’ side instead of being won over by the bourgeoisie to support their wars. To make a revolutionary situation a revolutionary crisis, i.e. to turn an objective instability in the regime into a subjective dislocation of its power, requires the energising, propagandising, and leading of the masses brought into politics by the crisis.

Third thesis: very simple, categorical: there can be no “critical support” for imperialism. Workers must be shown the true nature of the bourgeois state and of imperialism, and thereby shown that the regime is incapable of meeting their demands and serving their best interests. There must be an emphasis on the structure of society, on the determinate relationship between forces, and a dismissal of the best-laid plans and pretty words that bourgeois leaders offer us: whether they are genuine in their intent or not doesn’t matter, because they are structurally incapable of anything other than imperialism. This thesis doesn’t need any “modernising” to be relevant to today; simply replace ‘Provisional Government’ with the name of your own government. This is itself a demonstration of the structural character of history that Lenin is pointing out: despite all the promises and efforts of their well-meaning progressive strata, the bourgeoisie has not changed the basic nature of the world since 1917: it is imperialist, and they are its masters, masters of a regime spiralling into oblivion— this time not just under the looming threat of thousands of kilometres of sprawling trenches, of green countryside turned to the black-brown mud of no man’s land by artillery, nor even of whole cities swallowed by fire bombs and starved by continental blockades, but under the apotheosis of the mushroom cloud and the shadow of nuclear winter.

Fourth through eighth theses: Lenin calls upon the Bolsheviks to recognise that they are small minority in the soviets, and that most of the masses follow the leadership of those factions of the workers’ movement that in practice support the bourgeoisie. The role of the Party is therefore to expose and criticise the counterrevolution in order to show the masses the falsity of their leaders. The Bolsheviks must work to show the workers that they must take power themselves, as a mass, and that they must learn through experience, through doing, not through mere instruction by the Party, which cannot forcefully lead them to take power if they do not have this experience (the error of commandism). One of the things the Bolsheviks must show the workers, he argues, is that their councils—the soviets—are the only possible mechanism of their rule, i.e., that parliamentarianism and democracy are counterrevolutionary and to be opposed, that such things are a ‘retrograde step’ in comparison with the councils. What the workers need, and what they have already begun to build, is a commune-state, i.e. a republic of workers’ and poor peasants’ councils, i.e. a dictatorship of the proletariat and its allied social forces. The workers need a semi-state, a state which is decaying, a state in which state functions cease to be performed by distinct apparatus and become the common tasks of the masses themselves (Lenin names the abolition of the police, the army, and the bureaucracy as immediate demands in this respect). As the central task of the coming revolution was ‘transferring the entire state power to the Soviets of Workers’ Deputies, so that the people may overcome their mistakes by experience’, and as Lenin stressed the primacy of politics, he called for the Bolsheviks to shift the discussion of land redistribution and control of the banks from one of a demand for land or money per se to one of a demand for political power over them, i.e. for their direct administration by the councils. ‘It is not our immediate task to “introduce” socialism, but only to bring social production and the distribution of products at once under the control of the Soviets of Workers’ Deputies’ (8th thesis).

The relevance to today: the bourgeois state must be opposed as such, i.e. as a bourgeois state, and not merely in terms of being governed by a particular government which is enacting particular policies. Those currents that promise socialism and meaningful change through the bourgeois state are dead-ends, they are actively anti-worker in deeds if not in words or intentions (not to dismiss the importance of reforms as reforms, as non-revolutionary demands). Likewise, in a different way, those who promise a break with the bourgeois state but who can only envisage the proletarian dictatorship as an affirmation of the state, as a retrenching and reaffirmation of state power, only this time “in the service of the workers”. Such degenerations have been forced on the revolutionary movement many times before due to impossible conditions: they do not represent the real (Lenin: only possible) basis for workers’ state power as a class, as a deliberate ruler of society. Again, the primacy of politics: all that matters, ultimately, is power. ‘“I grant you everything except power,” tsarism declares. “Everything is illusory except power,” the revolutionary people reply’ (Lenin, “The Denouement is At Hand”, 1905).

Ninth and tenth theses: here Lenin calls for changes to the Party programme, to its name, and for the convocation of a new International to replace the counterrevolutionary Second International. His overriding concern is that the Party must reflect the masses and their conditions. He therefore stresses, first, internationalism, that the Party must commit to workers everywhere, independent of nationality; second, the commune-state, that the Party must demonstrate the need of the workers to reject bourgeois democracy and refuse any state apparatus which is not their own; and third, that the Party must distinguish itself from false leaders, by making an obvious and explicit distinction between themselves and those elements of the workers’ movement that had more or less turned over to the side of the bourgeoisie over the course of the War. Apart from the commune-state, which history had not yet showed to be the proletarian state form, these are things Marx and Engels identified as defining communists as a distinct social force in the Manifesto of the Communist Party.

The relevance for today: any communist party must adhere to these three points: it must unite workers everywhere and not fall into nationalism, social-chauvinism, campism, etc.; it must demand a complete break with the bourgeois state, a dictatorship of the proletariat and nothing short of that; and it must show the masses the falsity of their would-be leaders, those who deny the above two points and who generally serve the capitalist class whether they know it or not.

Lenin’s April Theses are, like so many short, programmatic communist texts, both a historical and a contemporary-political document. Historical because it is obviously something written for a specific moment in time which has long since gone; contemporary because, precisely for its programmaticism (which is what makes it historical, i.e. makes it belong to specific conditions and not others), it shows what is important to the proletariat as a class, what is relevant across historical moments— what is retained in its maximal programme across time: unity internationally, our own state, and the self-conscious distinction of the revolutionary movement and its leadership from the reformist, opportunist, bourgeois elements that perpetually infect and typically dominate the working class.

In a period in which imperialism is pushing the world further towards a third, and most likely final, world war, and capitalism lingers in crisis conditions and, in the core countries, economic stagnation and political impotence, Lenin’s simple, essential recommendations to his party over a hundred years ago are worth considering and internalising. Though we are not in a revolutionary crisis today, nowhere near it, the conditions are brewing for the debilitation of the bourgeoisie internationally and especially at its weakest points. Of chief importance for us today, from Lenin, is his internationalism, the thing which characterised his politics more than anything else, the thing which made him break from the mainstream and lead the workers in Russia and the world towards a new direction and a new programme; without internationalism, communism is nothing.

[fujoreads]

Umineko: Episode 3 // Review & Thoughts

VNDB | Steam

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

CW: Murder (duh); suicide attempt; blood

P.S.: There are broken youtube previews due to my blog's theme, so they won't look as good, but I refuse not to show them.

With this review, I am almost up to date with my Umineko reviews, so let's get this started!

PLOT

I would say this is the easiest episode to solve to far, but to be honest, I'm second-guessing myself as I type.

This episode had its focus on Eva and I loved every bit of it.

For starters, this is the first episode we get where all Ushiromiyas survive the first twilight! It was pretty cool to see all the dynamics in these moments of stress and panic.

The first twilight was rather tame; it's only after the second twilight that things get more serious for both sides: the purgatory side, and Rokkenjima side.

I gotta say though, Kumasawa turning into Virgilia was surprising, and the fight scene was 100% chunni hype KEKW

I don't necessarily love chunni works, but I also don't hate them. For some reason, I really like how Ryukishi writes theses more fantastical scenes; hell, even the dumb comedy scenes! Maybe it's because the works are so heavy that you get relieved when you see some lighthearted action. Though to be fair, this is a split opinion amongst the fanbase.

I find it extremely funny how Schrödinger's cat is always mentioned in VNs. It goes with the plot this time, though.

Evatrice torturing Rosa was tough to watch...

ESPECIALLY this part. Like, holy shit, what a description lmao

This sceneeeeee! When I saw his eyes and heard his tone, I knew Beato fucked up. It was so hype!! So hype I wrote this when I read it lmao

Beatrice's trial sure was something... I even shed some tears.

And then we get this... UOOOOOOH BEATORICHEEEEEE!!!

I got tricked so hard and I can't even hate her.

CHARACTERS

Ushiromiya Kyrie & Rudolf

This is the episode where Kyrie & Rudolf both shine as a couple and individuals—though Rudolf less than Kyrie.

The fight scene with the Stakes was one awesome fight!! I never wanted to marry Kyrie more <3

Ushiromiya Eva (ft. Evatrice)

Evatrice is a very interesting character, even if somewhat annoying. We can see her as the antagonist witch, or just as a personification of Eva's fuel and desire... and trauma.

Ooooh that's a nightmare face alright.

The violence of growing as a woman, living in extremely sexist times and amongst a shitty family, with a powerful surname to uphold... I can relate to two of those aspects, but even if I'm not rich like Eva, I can understand her drive and feelings. Seeing the way Rosa and Eva are developed over the episodes, I can only look forward to the rest of the cast!

Ushiromiya Hideyoshi

I haven't met anyone as compassionate as Hideyoshi. I would say Eva doesn't deserve him, but he's the perfect match for her. She's a lucky woman, in that sense.

Ushiromiya Kinzo

Kinzo might be the one individual I can't like. He might be an entertaining fella, but he's an utterly horrible human being—and I bet I haven't seen half of it.

The way we learn more about her time being Kinzo's captive... it's all too painful to see. It also feels like a romanticized tale, twisting human reality.

Her sweet smile is surely a sight to see, though. For that, I can understand Kinzo's fire, but it seems he has given her more damage than happiness.

Speaking of fire, I absolutely loved this CG. It looks like a painting, and Umineko Project's version animates this scene, making it seem like it's actually burning. Fantastic!

Virgilia

I really liked her character! She is nice, but cunning—a true witch. I enjoyed all the help she gave Battler, and how she betrayed him in the end, outdoing Beato.

AND OF COURSE SHE ALSO HAS A NIGHTMARE FUEL FACE UGH

Chiester Sisters

I love the Chiester sisters! Especially Chiester410—but honestly, the two of them are both fantastic.

(This brought me Maggot Baits flashbacks lmao)

Bernkastel

One of my favorite characters, even if I don't see much of her. Maybe it's because I've read Higurashi beforehand and got hyped seeing someone so similar-looking to Rika?

These moments are precious too. It feels like a treat to Higurashi readers. It's so sad, though...

Lambdadelta

She's here!!

I didn't know anything about her, but I had seen her before, along with Bernkastel. At first, since Bern is clearly based on Rika, I thought Lambda would be a version of Satoko, but looking at her now, I think she might be either a mix of Satoko and young Takano or just Takano.

Her laugh and childish demeanor reminds me of Satoko, but her obsession with Bern and absolute certainty clearly reminds me of Takano and how she keeps Rika trapped in an endless tragedy. Plus, she's very calculating and controlling, which just adds to that theory.

Ange

It's Ange time!! What an introduction to her character :D

I can't wait to explore more of her character in Episode 4, wink wink

Though playing Wingless as she is planning on jumping to her death sure is painful :(

Atmosphere & Soundtrack

As always, great tracks. They make my ears blush ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

Discovering both Miragecoordinator and Lost Paradise was such a blessing. I added them to my music player as soon as I listened to them in-game!! Oh, and I must not forget about Dance of the Moon Rabbit. I love that track, though I can't unhear Evatrice's voice over it.

Art

There were so many wonderful CGs in this episode, as I've shown over this entire post. Some scenes were animated for this version, and it adds so much to the immersion!

Final Thoughts

Fantastic as always, no complaints!

I'll give this a score of 7.4/10, aka 4 stars!

<See you soon. Have a nice week.>

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Thank you for reading it all to the end! I’m working full-time and looking for another job to make my life possible; would you be so kind and consider giving me a little tip? It can be as low as 3 bucks and it’d make a huuuuuge difference!! If you tip 10€ (or higher), you can dictate my next read and be credited (if you’d like) on that review! Have a nice day!!

[bakerstreetbabble]

My dear Watson...

Even though Sherlock Holmes is the character who has become one of the most popular in all of literature, it is impossible to consider Holmes without his trusty companion/sidekick, Dr. Watson. In the earliest days of cinematic adaptations, this apparently was not the case. In the earliest film adaptations of Sherlock Holmes, Watson was given a very minor, or even nonexistent role. But ever since the famous Basil Rathbone/Nigel Bruce partnership of the 1930s and '40s, the story of Holmes has always included Watson. Sure, Bruce gets some flak theses days about portraying Watson as too bumbling, a comic foil for Rathbone's heroic posturing. Certainly some of Bruce's slapstick comedy is a little difficult to watch for long.

I agree with John Trumbull, who wrote this excellent article on the website entitled Atomic Junk Shop: we owe a debt of gratitude to actors David Burke and Edward Hardwicke, who played Watson to Jeremy Brett's iconic portrayal of Sherlock Holmes. They were really the first actors to successfully break out of the "bumbling sidekick" stereotype that had been made so famous by Nigel Bruce.

Not all actors who have played Watson since Burke and Hardwicke have been quite as adept at defying the old Watson stereotype as these two, but some have: Jude Law, Martin Freeman, and Lucy Liu all spring to mind.  

After all, where would the Sherlock Holmes stories and novels be without Watson, our trusty narrator? I think most Holmes fans would agree that the tales that have a third person narrator or Holmes himself as a narrator are quite inferior to most of the stories told by Watson. We see most of Holmes's brilliance and ability through Watson's eyes. Sure, every once in awhile Watson shows a bit too much incredulity at Holmes's deductions. But he generally tells the story with grace and flair. He doesn't even seem to mind Holmes's criticisms most of the time. For example, when Holmes says in The Hound of the Baskervilles, "I am afraid, my dear Watson, that most of your conclusions were erroneous," does Watson take any offense? None that he reports in the narrative. Indeed, Holmes often highly praises Watson's gift for stimulating his own deductive powers. As early as A Study in Scarlet, Holmes made the following statement about Watson: "It may be that you are not yourself luminous, but that you are a conductor of light. Some people without possessing genius have a remarkable power of stimulating it.” High praise, indeed.

A lot has been made in recent Sherlock Holmes adaptations of Holmes's cocaine use, and Watson's role in weaning him off the drug. I think the current stereotype of Holmes as drug-addled coke addict is overused much of the time. But certainly, looking at Watson's criticisms of cocaine use, and considering the general public attitude toward cocaine at the time, Watson's point of view seems to have been unusually progressive and forward thinking. Would Holmes's career have had much longevity if the good doctor had not come into his life? One has to wonder...

This article from sherlockcares.com explores the Holmes/Watson friendship quite a bit more than I have in this post. I highly recommend it. I will leave you with this quote from the article...

Bearing in mind that the reflection we see in the mirror is the opposite of what others see, it has been argued that, in fact, our closest friends are not “another self” but those who complement us, whose strongest qualities are those we lack. 

An accurate description of the friendship between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, I think.

[bunny-431]

the ocean waves

@bendymonter finally getting to the challenge so don’t worry 😉

⚠️TW⚠️ there is mention of suicide self harm and depression

so please do not reader if you are not comfortable with theses topics other than that this is just fluffiness at it’s finest.

🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧

Running towards the cliff that hung so far up from the water that the fall would be fatal and you would die from impact or drowning, perfect for what I need to escape this hellish place that I called home where I thought it would be safe but proven wrong to think that this place would be though to be ‘happy and safe’. Looking down at the drop it was about 100ft watching the plankton in the water watching it glow when it hit the shore line the specks of blue looked like it was stars in the water; looking away from the shore I felt tears running down my face, why me I moved my right hand and held my left wrist feeling the scars and some scabs then I moved my left hand to feel my right wrist the same feeling as before scars and scabs my, tears starting to drip down my chin why did this happen to me…

First my mother died, then my father is a drunk son of a bitch who doesn’t care about anything then after that.. the love of my life who I thought would be there for me always who promised me that he would be there and never leave…he left me alone he was the only thing keeping me from getting worse and keeping me safe but no it was all a lie and a mask that he used to gain my trust the shatter it like it’s a worthless piece of garbage. Breathing in and out the

Moving my feet forward then I felt the edge of the cliff the nothing but the sound of air around me the the splash of water the nothing…

opening my eyes only to see the same night sky then a boy but that’s weird why do he have a fish tail wait what!? “Good you’re up I thought you were dead but luckily I got you out from the water before you could drown but besides that, how did you end up in the water?” He spoke “W-what is happening am I really dead or am I just seeing shit” I said with a shocked voice and wide eyes “Trust me you’re not seeing things I’m a mermaid my name is River my I know your name” he spoke with a kind smile I looked over at him that smile it looked like hers my mothers the smile that I have not seem in years the smile that every time I see a smile like that brought tears to my eyes which it did “W-wait I’m sorry did I’m say something wrong!?” He said while looking at me I softly shook my head “N-no it’s just your smile reminds me of someone dear to me” I said with a shaky voice and more tears “Oh who is this person is if I may ask” he said with a curious look in his eyes I let out a soft sob “It was my mother but she is somewhere else” i said softly as my eyes then moved to the sky more tears falling “Oh would you like to talk about it” River said with a sympathetic smile I softly nodded then scooted closer to him “Why were you in the water?” He asked “I was going to commit suicide that’s why” I said with a sniffle he the looked down at me his eyes sad “H-hey I know that we just met but I’m proud of you, you have held on for so long and your seem like an amazing person. I want you to try to hold on for a little bit longer you are a strong person and you have a beautiful heart but people are jealous and want to take it away from you but I won’t let then ok”

he said and after that his webbed hand laid on top of mine I softly smiled them gave him a hug “thank you so much River” i said while more tears came down like a waterfall I felt him hug me back “You’re welcome-“ “Y/N” I said with a sniffle “Y/N huh such a beautiful name just perfect for such a beautiful person” he said softly then his hands softly laid on the side of my face and softly smiled “Come on let it all out it’s ok I won’t judge you or leave you I’ll be here ok” he said while looking at me. It’s as if a switch is moved in my head i then clutch onto him then started sobbing more it had to at least be 3 hours of me crying before I eventually cried myself to sleep.

To which River held onto your body and softly cradled you “goodnight my sea star I wish you good dreams” he said while swiping away some loss hair then he closed his eyes listening to the waves then going to sleep.

( I will admit I did cry while making this and just wow I hope you all like it have a wonderful day/evening/night)

-yoshi🌱🥚

[ilgaksu]

Oohhh if you're still doing these: 🤲 and 🧠 (for Hei Xiazi)

Good luck with work proposal things, or if I'm late: I hope it went well!

i am absolutely still doing these!!! i'll keep doing them as long as people keep asking them <3

from these fic writer asks

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

(from in me is where the horror is, a wip fic with gender dysphoria, smut, and cohen's 7 monster theses as they apply to xie yuchen)

Look at him, he wouldn’t know what to do with a dick if he was given a diagram, he heard one mercenary say, pure as the driven fucking snow or some shit, and that was safer, among this sort of company, not to correct the assumption: to be viewed as hermeneutically sealed. Honestly, Xie Yuchen sort of found it funny. When the same man died the next day, Xie Yuchen simply stepped over the body and kept going onwards towards the real goal. 

Recently, at least he’s been able to sit next to Hei Xiazi while listening to the bragging of some minor asshole about some girl in some city somewhere, and been able to tell in the rising corner of Hei Xiazi’s mouth that they both heard the exaggerations. 

“Bet you fifty yuan he can’t find a clitoris with a map,” Hei Xiazi murmurs, or something along those lines, every time, his whole body a comforting press along Xie Yuchen’s side; and then he laughs, delightedly, when Xie Yuchen hands him the money on the spot. 

“Don’t be absurd, Xiazi,” he replies, low in his ear. “He’d have to believe it was real.” 

🧠 Pick a character, and I’ll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

Ohhh, I mean, I think the obvious favourite headcanon of mine is Hei Xiazi as a medical student in Weimar Republic Germany. When I first started in the fandom, I hadn't seen any ideas really situating him there in English, and I actually do very little historical research for it - 1920s Europe is already an interest, so I know a lot of it by heart. I also lived in Germany very briefly. I think the upheaval and insecurity of Weimar Germany really fit with Hei Xiazi's sense of being dragged forward through eras and forced, like the Roman curse, to live in interesting times. I don't consider Mongolian Hei Xiazi a headcanon, because it is canon, but I am also very partial to my headcanon that he is the son of a concubine or second wife, and so grew up in a household answering to his own biological mother and to the first wife of his father.

I also think it's worth noting that I consciously chose to diverge from canon and have him going blind as the result of a then-unknown eye condition before he becomes immortal. He's already Hei Xiazi in mine, down to being blind, by the time immortality comes to get him. That was important to me. I don't dispute authorial choices and I don't presume to know the intent behind them, but honestly, as a reader and creator, I'm tired of disability in media being the result of something mystical or otherworldly. Disability is the most ordinary thing in the world; it's the biggest minority in the world, which anyone can join at any point in their lives, and if they're lucky to live a long life likely will. (I have a lot of other feelings about why I picked this so if you ever want to know, you can always ask, I just don't want to go off on my finely-crafted Hei Xiazi and Disability soapbox for too long unprompted.)

However, I'm going to pick something smaller: the headcanon that Hei Xiazi was 36 when he had his first sexual experience with another man is my favourite for him, especially when you remember that I write him as having been sexually active, on and off, from the age of 17. It's important for me to honour the queer experience as one that can feel like you're racing to make up for lost time, or one with a delayed start, but also for a character who I conceive of as so fiercely and unashamedly queer by the point we meet him in canon to have had an implied period of self-reckoning. For me, Hei Xiazi is a character who wants to appear effortless and yet all of it is very, very earned, and this for me was both a first hint of that to readers in my work and also a first hint of that to Xie Yuchen.

[i-writes-things]

You're awesome...!

All credits go to @thoughtkick for finding all theses beautiful quotes

“Instead of saying ‘I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues’ say ‘I’m healing, I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.”

“Let there be always something you are looking forward to.”

"Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can't get any better, it can."

“Don’t you ever give up hope. Not today. Not tomorrow. You were born with an infinite imagination. If one dream is shattered, pick up the pieces you can and create a new dream. Yes, reinventing yourself takes grit. But you’ve got that too.”

“Stop shrinking to fit places you’ve outgrown.”

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