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prolix-yuy · 1 year ago

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A Gift of Light and Joy

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x F!Reader "Conejita" (Plus Sized Reader)

Summary: Javi wants to spoil you, but his good intentions put you in a difficult position.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Explicit, 18+ MINORS DNI, oral sex (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), unprotected PiV sex (don't be a fool, wrap your tool), cumming on someone, minor cum play, negative body image, toxic shopping culture, some angst, Javi is clueless about women's clothes shopping but he makes up for it.

Notes: Happiest of happy birthdays to my darling, my sweet friend, the indescribable @ezrasbirdie! I was planning to post this around November but I couldn't pass up a chance to give you a fun little Javi present. I am so lucky to know you and get to yell about stories together!

While in the two previous stories Conejita wasn't described as plus sized, I always headcanoned that she was from the start. There are a couple references to the previous stories, but you can also dive in right here! Like most stories this is me working through a few bad experiences of my own, and while Javi may be a little thick in the beginning he will get to make up for it.

Cross-posted on AO3

Continued from On the Right Flight and A Bearable Weight

“I have a surprise for today.”

Javi’s gleeful face ramps up your own excitement as he ushers you into his car.

“I thought we were going to have a picnic?” you ask as he flops into the drivers seat, curls bouncing almost as much as he is.

“That was my distraction,” he says, picking up your hand and kissing the back of it. Your heart still flutters, even months after that first one at the stroke of midnight.

Dating Javi had, of course, been just as much of a step off the deep end as you thought. Even being close by now that you’re back in LA for work and he’s hobnobbing with the Hollywood elites, some days getting dinner feels like making a doctor’s appointment. Matching schedules down to the half hour, groaning when something comes up. But it’s all worth it when the stars align and he’s on your doorstep with all-encompassing hugs and breathless kisses.

At first Javi’s dates were low-key and low-stress - a day at the beach, movie nights of course - but as you got closer and closer he started to take you places that had dress codes and extravagant names. He always beamed like you were the only one in the room, but you’d been in enough spaces you didn’t belong to feel eyes and judgements skitter across your back.

You could be poised, and knowledgeable, conversational and charming, but nothing changed how you looked. Javi was always dripping in Armani, Burberry, Brioni. Your paltry wardrobe didn’t stand a chance. Every new art show or movie premiere sent you running to a department store to find a new dress (pretty girls on their rich boyfriend’s arm didn’t reuse eveningwear) and inevitably you’d be pinched or poked or squeezed into something not made for you. Long minutes spent in the bathroom wondering if Javi would notice the bra strap divot in your shoulder, or the dark lines of seams pressed along your skin. Pretending you enjoyed slipping into a silk robe every time you spent the night was more palatable than the embarrassment of wriggling out of shapewear in front of him, or refusing to let him undress you in case a zipper pulled too tightly.

Unfortunately, you didn’t hide your discomfort as well as you imagined. Sometimes you caught Javi’s concerned look when the built-in corset made you squirm in your seat, or when you winced at the chafe of your heels.

So when he parks his car on Rodeo Drive he’s the picture of pride and sunshine. You, on the other hand, leave your stomach on the sidewalk behind you.

“I wanted to do something special,” he’s saying, muffled words bubbling up as your feet trudge to a gleaming glass door. There’s security inside, sales people scattered around holding hangers up to discerning buyers. “And before you say anything about money, I don’t want you to look at a single price tag.” Javi turns your face to him with a gentle nudge, breaking your doom stare through the glass. “I want to spoil you a little. You never let me spoil you.” His pout brings a little smile to your face, dipping in to kiss him.

“We can do anything Javi. I don’t need things,” you try to deflect, hoping you can convince him away from the inevitable rejection you’ll receive inside.

“Just one time?” he asks again, soft brown eyes imploring you. How could you say no?

“Okay,” you breathe out, steeling yourself for the worst as Javi beams back at you.

“I thought this place would match what you like,” he says as two suited doormen guide you inside. It flutters your heart. He’s right, you’ve always liked this designer’s silhouettes and styles. It’s exactly what you’d choose…if you were several sizes smaller.

“Hi, do you have an appointment?” a small-framed woman with black plastic glasses and a bouncy ponytail asks. She’s dressed head to toe in the designer’s current collection, sleek black throughout with stylish red earrings that dangle down her neck. Her smile isn’t as cold as you might expect. You’d heard horror stories of snide sales people practically insulting clients to get them to spend more.

“Yes, Gutierrez,” Javi offers smoothly, placing a grounding hand on your lower back. “For my girlfriend.” You shoot him a lopsided smile. He doesn’t get the chance to say it often, but when he does you love the way girlfriend rolls off his supple lips.

“Ah, yes, miss…” the sales woman begins, letting you offer your name. You catch a fleeting look of concern cross her face. Her cheek sucks in like she’s chewing on it, smile still bright but eyes more cautious.

“My name is Melanie, if you’d like to follow me to your consultation space,” she says, leading you and Javi to a curtained-off partition with several chairs, a changing room and a pedestal that makes your stomach flip.

“So what are you here to find today?” Melanie asks. Javi settles in a chair, spreading his knees and leaning back so sexily you can almost forgive him for the anxiety pumping through your veins.

“Whatever my Conejita desires,” he says, and you’re torn between smacking or straddling him. Melanie turns her attention to you and you wrack your brain.

“I guess…a dress would be nice?” you say. Javi reaches out to squeeze your hand reassuringly, adoration so clear in his eyes. He truly has no idea it’s the most likely to have ease in the sizing. You might make it out with one and blame it on not wanting to overspend. Javi would get his wish, and you would make it out with most of your ego unscathed. Win-win.

Melanie leads you out of the space and into the clothing racks. The choices are sparse, a few items hung per rack in an exclusivity motif. As soon as you’re out of earshot she starts chatting.

“Your boyfriend is very sweet to be treating you today.”

You hum and nod, chewing the inside of your lip. Some of the pieces are very pretty, flattering cuts and classic shapes, but none of the silhouettes look large enough for you.

“Does he…do this often?” Melanie asks carefully, and when you look at her you see an understanding that soothes you ever so slightly.

“First time.”

“A surprise.”

“Yeah, pretty big one.”

Melanie smiles at that, arms wrapped around an iPad. Her nails are very pretty tapping against the device.

“Let’s take a look back here,” she says, leading you off the main floor and further into the store. The racks are fuller back here, but not nearly enough to make you think success is within reach. Your chest tightens, but you put on a cheery smile when Melanie turns back to you.

“Men are just…so thick sometimes,” she sighs, and the sharp change makes you bleat out a laugh. “I’m sure Mr. Gutierrez has the best intentions in mind…”

You nod and finish her sentence.

“...but you don’t have anything here for me.” Her hands clutch at the tablet again, going white around the knuckles.

“We might have a few things, but they’ll be simpler. Not like the current collection.”

“Simple is fine,” you rush to say, her smile making your own come to the surface.

“Okay, let me go digging. I think we can make it work. I’m…” She pauses to clear her throat, lowering her voice. “I’m sorry this isn’t fun. I hate it. I just want everyone to feel happy in their clothes, not…left out.”

You turn your comfort to her, squeezing her shoulder.

“I appreciate you trying to help.”

Melanie scurries off to the backroom, leaving you on the bustling floor with ten other women who could slip into anything off the rack no problem. Weaving aimlessly, you peruse the dresses. Each one holds promise, which only makes it more disappointing when the tag numbers run too small. But you’re keeping positive, searching for Melanie’s bouncing ponytail returning with anything. You’d gush over a mumu.

“Excuse me,” comes over your shoulder, and you turn to another sales woman hovering expectantly behind you. Her brow is lifted high, barely waiting for you to shift before tugging a garment off the rack. She turns quickly, but in the split second before you see it. That stomach-dropping look that screams good luck slathered in sarcasm. Your throat clenches, hands coming to your middle and you wish you could just collapse into yourself like a dying star.

“Fuck this,” you whisper, tears shining in your eyes as you hurry back to the consultation space. You’ll tell Javi you have a headache, that you’re too hungry to shop right now, anything to convince him to get the hell out of here.

“Cone…” he says as you burst in, snatching up your purse and steeling your voice. The sunshiney excitement trades quickly for concern. “What is wrong? I promise the cost…”

“Actually, I don’t really…I don’t…” You try to get out your white lies with an even tone but when Javi cups your face in his large hands your composure crumples. A fat tear breaks rank and rolls down your face, Javi’s eyes widening with shock.

“Conejita, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” His eyes darken a fraction. “Did someone say something to you?”

Your heart skips a beat, which you blearily file for later introspection. Resting your head on his shoulder, he envelops you in his arms. Orange peel and musk surrounds you, Javi’s soothing hands traveling up and down your spine. When your breaths stop warbling you pull back, wiping your face.

“I’m sorry…” you start to say, but Javi moves you to sit. He drops to a kneel, clasping your hands in your lap.

“No, Conejita, you are not apologizing for one second. What has upset you? Was it someone out there?” When you shake your head, his eyes soften. “Was it me?”

“Oh Javi,” you sign, squeezing his hands. Your lashes are still wet with tears, but you can see his dread so clearly. “I really appreciate this, all of it. I’m sure it’s flattered lots of people before. But I’m…me.” You release a big breath, the pain of keeping all your anxieties in finally easing. “I can’t shop at places like this, Javi, I don’t…they don’t make clothes like this for people my size.”

Javi’s concern smashes into confusion.

“But they must have seamstresses in the back. They take your measurements, no? Find an acceptable piece and tailor it?”

The laugh you bark out is watery but it does raise the corners of your lips.

“Men have it so easy,” you bemoan. “I think the closest size I saw was still in the single digits. And even then, the numbers rarely mean anything.” Javi’s confusion only deepens.

“But how do you know what to buy? Surely the measurements are the same. Inseam, waist, sleeve length, how can it be so different?”

“Javi, I’m rarely the same size at the same store.”

Javi sputters. “That’s madness. How does anyone put up with that?”

You giggle lightly, the tears finally receding. “I just go to the department stores. More variety, more sizes. No pushy sales people. Though Melanie is really nice.”

“But you are still uncomfortable,” he says, stroking his thick thumbs along the back of your hands. “I did not want to say anything, but I noticed. You do not seem to feel good in the nice things you wear.”

You shrug. “It’s not perfect, it’s just…easier.”

His eyes implore up at you. “I wanted you to feel good with me.” Your heart patters, Javi’s face falling. “But I have made it worse. Please forgive me, Conejita, I truly did not know this would be so painful.”

You pat Javi’s cheek and give him a quick kiss. “I know, Javi. I know you didn’t mean for it to be.” A tap on his nose makes him smile. “But next time, when the lady doth protest too much, maybe listen?” Javi’s cheeks pink as he nods.

“Shakespeare has always been wiser than me,” he jokes as he helps you back to your feet. He leads you back to the front of the store with one hand on your back, and for a few seconds you do feel like the most beautiful person in the room. Women looking at you in awe, Javi’s fingers pressing in a way that’s subtly possessive. You could be lady Godiva riding a Shetland pony and not feel a lick of shame when he looks at you like that.

“Mr Gutierrez!” Melanie calls as she hurries up to the front to intercept. Her hands are empty, which is a relief.

“Thank you for your help, I just don’t think there’s anything for me here,” you say in a practiced tone that makes Javi pull you closer and Melanie’s eyebrows knit in the middle. She nods, extending a folded piece of paper to Javi.

“I’m sorry they didn’t have something for you today,” she says, and Javi takes the proffered paper. He leads you out of the store and into the fresh sunlight of the street. Unfolding it, he raises an eyebrow then secrets it away in his jacket pocket.

“What was that about?” you ask, tucking your arm into his elbow. He shakes his head.

“Nothing important. What is important is going to get some lunch, then we are going driving with the top down and dinner at my place after.”

“Javi…” you say with a little warning, but he tuts at you as his long stride pulls you down Rodeo drive.

“I know, I know what you will say, but bear with me because I am learning how to love you the right way. Today was not so good, but I would like to try and make it better.” He slows down when he catches your wide eyes and dazed smile. “What? What have I said now?”

“That you love…” the last words disappear on the wind as Javi’s smile crinkles his eyes.

“Of course, Conejita. Dios mio, of course I love…I love you,” he rushes out, barely able to finish before crashing his lips into yours. Wide palm cupping your head, you couldn’t care less that you’re making pedestrians part around you. Javi loves you, even if he’s a little clumsy about it. But when someone wants to learn to love you the right way…how can you not love every atom of them back?

The following weekend finds you in one of the lesser-used rooms in Javi’s house, sitting on a chair by the window. He deposited you there with a cappuccino and a promise to wait, so now you’re doing just that. Javi does love surprises, but you never expected Melanie to walk in the door.

“Oh my god, hi,” you manage to get out, standing up to shake her hand but are treated to a tight hug instead. She looks brighter, lighter than the last time you saw her, black ensemble traded for a pale blue button-up and floral patterned pants.

“Javi told me it was a surprise, and I want it on the record that after this one he’s not allowed any more!” You sit across the little cafe table from her with visible confusion.

“I am a bit…lost…as to the surprise,” you giggle out nervously, which has Melanie opening a smart black bag and taking out folios and fabric swatches.

“I’ve been trying to get my stylist business off the ground and…” She pauses for a moment before making genuine eye contact. “And if there’s anything I was meant to do, it’s find people clothes that make them happy. So I offered him my services and he’s…well, he’s been very generous.”

Pride swells in your chest. So Javi.

“So what we’re going to do today is figure out what you like, don’t like, colors, styles, and then I’ll start building your wardrobe. Sound good?” Melanie’s smile is contagious.

“Sounds amazing.”

You don’t quite understand every step of the process. At one point she drapes color swatches on your chest like a bib and you can’t help but giggle. But it’s fun, maybe for the first time you can remember. She writes down that you hate side-seam zippers and skirts cut above the knee. That you love color but not too garish. And when you catch Javi pacing outside the glass door to the patio, peeking in anxiously every five minutes, your smile softens. She probably doesn’t write that part down. That’s written on your face.

You can’t stop twirling in the mirror, inspecting from every angle. You try to scrutinize, but you can’t find a single thing wrong.

It’s perfect.

After the wardrobe cleanout, the basics overhaul, and the lengthy plan Melanie made, she asked a thrilling question.

“What’s the first piece you’d like me to find?”

“I’ve always wanted a little black dress,” you replied, and her smile almost eclipsed her face.

“I have the perfect one in mind.”

She wasn’t kidding. It’s full and flouncy, smoothing in all the places you normally criticize and accentuates your figure in the best ways. The fabric is sumptuous under your fingers, just the right weight without dreaded sheerness. You can imagine yourself with hair done up, your favorite lipstick, Javi’s hand on your lower back, that possessive glint in his eyes. All of the excitement makes you spin three more times, the room tilting briefly before you catch Javi standing in the doorway.

“Hey!” you call out breathlessly, smoothing the skirt again. “It’s the first thing Melanie’s sent over. I…oh my god, I love it so much.” You turn to look in the mirror again, and in the reflection you see Javi’s mouth parted, eyes dragging over you. His fingers are rubbing together at his sides and…is he clenching them?

“She took everything I said and just found the most perfect dress.” Your thumb catches in the fabric and you spin back around to gasp, “And it has pockets!”

You’ve barely taken your hands out of them when Javi is on you, all greedy mouth and firm hand on the back of your head. His tongue demands on your lips, slipping inside when you gasp for him. Arm banding around your back, he steadily walks you backwards towards the bed.

“Conejita, mi amor, eres tan hermosa,” he pants, his wandering hand settling on your ass and squeezing. It crackles between your thighs, white-hot arousal at how he holds you. Javi has always been generous in bed, and highly competent, but this is a side of him you haven’t seen. Maybe briefly when he asked you if someone bothered you at that awful boutique store.

Before you can rationalize anything further he guides your hips down to the bed, teetering on the edge. He quickly drops to his knees and dives his hands under the skirt, sliding one knuckle along the seam of your pussy.

“Javi…” you squeak out, but his touch leaves to curl around your underwear and yank them down your legs. The rip of a seam makes arousal gush between your legs, spreading them instinctually. He licks his lips before fisting your skirt above your waist and ducking down to taste you for too brief a moment. Your hips buck, teeth nipping at your inner thigh before he lifts up to kneel between your legs.

“Javi, the dress,” you caution, and with a sweeter smile he shifts his knees to make sure the fabric isn’t trapped between. When his eyes meet yours again he plants a hand by your head and laps between your lips, slow and sensual. The clink of his buckle coming undone aches deep in your core, fisting his button-up across his shoulders.

“I’m sorry, Conejita, I just…cannot control myself when you look so beautiful,” he confesses as his fingers tease at your entrance. A choked whimper ekes out as he opens you up on two, pumping mercilessly into your clenching heat. He swears in Spanish into your neck, and your quiet whines grow to moans when his thick cock begins thrusting into the crease of your hip. His panted breaths start to take on a rumble, then a growl as his fingers match his shallow thrusts. Overwhelmed, you grasp at what words will make him give in.

“Javi, please, oh my god, please fuck me,” you finally manage, rocking your hips with his frantic pace.

“You’re ready for me?” he husks, your vociferous affirmations drawing his fingers out to leave you achingly empty. He slicks his cock with you, lining up and pressing just the head in before he plants his hands by your head and just…looks at you.

“Dios mio, eres una diosa,” he breathes, all of the sweet man you love. Grabbing around his wrists, you roll your hips down to sink more of him inside. He stretches you so deliciously, filling your cunt and lungs.

“Take it, Javi,” you rasp, head tossed back. “Show me I’m yours.”

Javi bites his lower lip and looks at you with a depth you crave. Infatuation and devotion and a desire so hungry you want to sate him for hours. In a dizzying flick of his wrists he now presses yours into the bed.

“Mine,” he purrs, and the snap of his hips as he buries himself flush draws a lusty cry from your lips. “My beautiful Conejita,” he grits out, grinding his hips deep to press punishingly into your g-spot. You writhe under him, legs clamped around his waist as he slides out just enough to punch back in. “You are mine, aren’t you?”

“Oh fuck, Javi, yes, I’m yours,” you beg, and it’s exactly what he needs to begin fucking you earnestly, scooping his hips to drive deeper and deeper. The friction of his grind strums your clit just right to tremble around him. Pinning you with a rumble, he fucks you into the mattress until his wandering hands can’t stop from palming your breast, rolling your nipple through the fabric. The spike of pleasure urges you to meet him stroke for stroke, riding him just as hard back. He grabs your chin just firmly enough to coax more slick to coat his cock, guiding you back to his demanding mouth. He steals your breath, sucking your lower lip between his teeth and groaning when you shudder around him.

“Not going to last, mi amor,” he whispers, lacing your fingers together as his thrusts lose rhythm.

“Cum on my pussy,” you plead, and with a strung-out moan he pulls out just quick enough to cover your mound with his hot spend. It drips lewdly, sliding to gather in the crease of your thighs. His eyes are fixated on it, the brand of his lust sticky on you. Your orgasm tips over as he slides his thumb through his cum to press firmly on your clit. His name is all you can manage as pleasure laps over your skin, his touch grounding as he praises you over and over.

In the afterglow, Javi folds the length of your skirt well above the mess he made.

“I will be sure to send this to drycleaning before you want to wear it,” he says, pulling a juddery giggle from your chest. He stands oh shaky legs and you glimpse his wet cock in the vee of his open pants, realizing you just fucked like college kids so horny for each other they couldn’t even undress properly. It makes you giddy as he brings over tissues to clean up, careful not to leave any of his spend where it could stain. When he’s finally satisfied he drops down on the bed, opening his arms for you to snuggle into. Once fitted together, eyes heavy, he murmurs in your ear.

“It wasn’t the dress.”

You hum sleepily, sitting up to look into his sated face.

“You are most beautiful when you are happy,” he says, the earnestness earning him another sweet kiss.

“I am very, very happy Javi.”

He doesn’t need to tell you that he is. It’s written on his face, and in his heart.

END

#javi gutierrez x reader #javi gutierrez x you #javi gutierrez x f!reader #javi gutierrez x female reader #javi gutierrez fanfiction #tuwomt fanfiction #tuwomt fanfic #the unbearable weight of massive talent fanfiction #prolix fics

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tmnt-tychou · 3 months ago

Note

Hello again!!

I have another character for you!! How about Splinter?? 😄

Thanks as always!! 😊

Sorry this took me a while to get to, it's been a busy week. But I am LOVING these and thank you to everyone who submitted asks. This is the most asks I've ever received and I have greatly enjoyed this. A Tier: 90's movie Splinter: This is a rat Splinter. He is a good dad and tries his best. This man loves his sons. Also, easily the most frail of all the Splinters, but still manages to toss Shredder off a building.

2003: Another rat Splinter. This man loves his sons and also loves his father, Hamato Yoshi. He is wise, caring, and very invested in in his sons' lives.

2012: A Hamato Yoshi Splinter. I love this Splinter so much. I think he is my favorite thing to come out of 2012. This man is Dad Vibes so much! He loves his kids and he wants them to have the best lives he can provide. I also love that we got this massive more human-sized Splinter. Just love him all around.

B Tier: 80's cartoon Splinter: A Hamato Yoshi Splinter, he has a great design and amazing voice actor. He is calm, he is zen and fatherly. He looses points because he never calls the turtles his sons. They are always "My turtles/pupils/students." The very first time I heard Splinter call the boys his sons was in the 90's movie and it blew my little mind. (Note, I'm not sure if maybe they changed it in the last seasons where they were trying to be more like the live action movies. It's been so long, I don't remember.)

2007 Splinter: I THINK this is a Hamato Yoshi Splinter? This is a hard one for me because everything in the movie is good. I love his design, I love his VA, I love his lines and how he interacts with the turtles. But there was just something OFF about the whole of the 2007 movie and I figured it out by reading the comics that take place before the movie. In which Splinter picks Leonardo ONLY to go on this world tour for vague reasons while the others are stuck at home. Raphael is immediately hurt and angry at the blatant favoritism. Don and Mikey look like they are so used to it, they don't even argue anymore. Leo is so much the golden child in this movie it hurts me in my soul. Splinter is a terrible father, but he was fine on screen if you take the movie at face value.

C Tier: Next Mutation Splinter: I don't recall if it was ever clear if he was a ran or Hamato Yoshi. He knew Venus' dad, so maybe Hamato Yoshi? He gives off these prancy, gay dad vibes which are kind of fun and fresh for a Splinter. (He plays chess out in the park late at night with his blind boyfriend.) He doesn't do too much to parent his extremely dumbass kids. Maybe since they're 18 he's decided they are their own problem now. And while the turtle suits are pretty nice for a TV production, the rat suit is BAAAAD.

Bayverse Splinter: This one makes no sense. Any Splinter that takes out Hamato Yoshi completely really throws off the universe. Why is he so Asian coded when he has no Asian influence in his life aside from finding a book on martial arts? It's weird. Other than that, he's fine in the movies.

Rise Splinter: A Hamato Yoshi Splinter. I like that we got a Splinter where you can really see the depression from being turned into a rat. And you can see how the turtles turned out to be different people: Leo and Raph especially, without Splinter there to be an influence on the group dynamic. But the characterization doesn't make sense. He says he loves his boys, but he doesn't always know their names? I know this was played for laughs, but the characterization wasn't there. Also minus points for the god-awful character design. Again, I know dad-bod Splinter was played for laughs, but...we had to look at it.

Mutant Mayhem Splinter: Again, another Splinter without Hamato Yoshi that makes no sense. However, he is a GOOD dad who loves his sons and does his best to keep his family together. I love this idea that he is a shut in because he is actually scared of the surface. I do have a hard time buying he is a martial arts master from merely watching kung fu movies. And also minus points for the god-awful character design.

#tmnt #ninja turtles #tmnt ask game

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gemharvest · 5 months ago

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Might not be exactly what you asked for but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go into more depth about the bf and pico drawing with the kinto pet song lyrics 🙏🙏🙏🙏 it has haunted me in a good way and I will explode without more

UR MORE THAN FINE DWWW it's easier for me to ask for prompts but I LOVE ASKS IN GENERAL I like getting to ramble. Forever and always if you see me post something and you want me to elaborate on it/ have specific questions/ literally whatever PLEASE DON'T BE SCARED TO SEND AN ASK IN !!!

okay needed that out of the way first LOLLLLL

The like. Images I get in my head when I listen to this song drive me insane like this was just me putting it into one image but I could deadass do a full PMV if I had the time.

Obvi I prefer to draw in a more Funkin'-influenced style, but esp. with how Pico is drawn I hope it's clear I was leaning into the Pico's School side of things.

(continuing under a cut because I am about to Ramble)

I don't think I was consciously thinking abt it the other night BUT at least the first verse makes me think. Of the Love Conquers All version of Pico's School. An ideal ending; Cassandra is convinced not to carry out her plan, nobody dies, Pico certainly wouldn't be Going Through It. Maybe in this ideal ending they (Pico & BF) wouldn't have split. "In this world, we're friends forever".

I also imagine it as like.. basically how the art I did ended up being. They're just black lines on a white background. Faces obscured. Maybe with some visual effects that distort things too/ some pixelation whatever. I actually think I was planning to have some parts of that pixelated but forgot by the time I was home and could draw; might have been for the best but here's a version with a biit of what I'm talking abt.

They're in a void. Separate from the real world, but happy. Stuck in a loop of the happiest time of their lives (mostly thinking from Pico's perspective with that lol). Is that not better than having to continue on in a fucked reality?

Of course, that's not real. It's just an imaginary loop of "what if"s in Pico's mind. It's a world he built for Boyf.

In this world, Boyfriend is always following with Pico, always showing him kindness and always smiling. Pico's emotions are less readable; maybe in a proper PMV I'd give him his mouth too so he can show he is at least somewhat happy, but despite being the "leader" of the two, he is much more passive, reserved. They are always holding each other's hands.

Verse 2 would be the inverse (lol), signaled by the stronger beats kicking in. White lines on black background. It's no longer the ideal world, and instead the "real world". Real, but distorted by trauma. "Inside my code, you'll always be". The world Cass built for Pico.

The bit of instrumental between verses 2 & 3 would be the Real real world, going forward to when FNF would take place; Pico and Boyfriend reconnected, through less than ideal means, though reconnected nontheless.

We're back to black lines on white background, but everything's less distorted. There's more details too, the world not just being a hazy backdrop for Pico and Boyfriend to play around in, but real.

He's different from Pico's memories, obviously, drawn now in the FNF style fully. More confident, still stupid. He has Girlfriend now.

The first 2 lines of verse 3, his imagined worlds and the real world melt together. Mixed in ways that highlight a feeling of off-ness. Everything feels strange, distorted, unreal.

The last 2 lines it's just Pico and Boyfriend hanging out alone. "All that's left is me and you/Lots of fun that we can do". Boyfriend cheery as ever, while Pico is visibly nervous-- uncharacteristic for him but we don't see if Boyfriend notices.

The strong beat kicking in again sends us back to the imagined world. The good world. But things are wrong. The real world is slipping in, things are no longer stagnant; no longer perfect. Visual distortions/ glitches worsen.

Pico could delude himself when he hadn't known where Boyfriend was; now that he's back, his world warps. No longer under his control. He is not in the lead.

The first half of the outro Boyfriend is still mostly playing along, though still seems to be growing disinterested. Pico is noticably anxious, clearly seeing how the other is no longer like a puppy at his side. Boyfriend is pulling away. Why is he pulling away, when everything's "perfect"? Why is everything going wrong. "The world I built, designed for you".

The second half of the outro, Boyfriend is now actively pulling away. He no longer looks like the idealized, young Boyfriend. He's older, a stranger, he doesn't care for Pico anymore. Pico is older now too, desperately holding on to Boyfriend. Unwilling to let him go again, first in the real world and now in his mind. Boyfriend refuses to hold his hand but Pico still grips onto his arm. Their eyes finally become visible in the imagined world.

Pico's behavior mirrors Cassandra's involvement in the second verse, though unintentionally violent as opposed to her intentional violence. He's selfish, desperate to hold on to his world; to Boyfriend. He's hurting the imagined Boyfriend in the process, but that is second in his mind to him so desperately trying to avoid a second heartbreak. Anything to keep his world together, his peace. Without it, he just has the dark.

Beyond this screen, you cannot leave Inside my code, you'll always be Endless fun that we can do In a world I built for you

In the final instrumental and as the song fades out, Pico wakes up. He's shaken, disgusted by how he acted in his mind and feeling like he's nothing but an anchor to Boyfriend, holding him back. He can't keep clinging to this false reality, nor can he pretend he's doing any good by being in Boyfriend's life again. His mind is made up.

...

LOL I hope the way I summarized The Thoughts I get paints the picture I get in my mind. I've got terminal artist brain I am imagining AMVs to near everything I listen to I am not joking; had to take a break halfway through typing this to walk around a store and I was looping KATAMARI by femtanyl for like half of it imagining an edit in my head. I can imagine anything jpeg.

I wanna very much stress that all that above would have been filtered through Pico's mind. He's not actively hurting Boyfriend, but he's fucking terrified of doing so and he feels so fucking guilty for continuing to hold on to the past they had. I guess it wouldn't be apparent from what I described but he'd also feel guilty for still having feelings for him when the other has moved on and even has a girlfriend.

His world, once his perfect escape from the anguish of his reality, corrupts as he feels worse and worse over even entertaining the thoughts. Him deciding to forget his world and, in turn, go to cut off Boyfriend for the other's sake is not based on objective reality, but an act of self-sabotage that he convinces himself to be the best outcome for everybody.

^ Literally included him doing this shit in a part of that last fic I did you can tell this is something I find interesting exploring with him.

The tone of the song too just fucking.. it adds to the eeriness I'd want out of a proper PMV of this idea. The way it's clearly an homage to the IBM 7094 singing Daisy Bell; the voice and instrumentals just feel so unnerving. Sweet and innocent on the surface, but clearly holding bad intentions. Maybe not intentionally bad, maybe misguided good even, but they are not good nor sweet nor kind. I am talking about the song on it's own divorced from it being from KinitoPET what I describe here is just the feelings it gives me in regards to my favies.

Anyways uhhhh god I could go on for hours but I've been going off for long enough I'm sorry to anyone reading this who had to sit through my insanity. My head is now lighter with this information shared tho.. I guess in conclusion: I am definitely normal and neurotypical and can be trusted to listen to music and be into my games without creating the most devastating ideas known to man. xoxo

#ramblings #fnf #friday night funkin #pico x boyfriend #picobf #im not tagging it more than that #anyways here you go anon! i hope it doesn't haunt you worse now but if it does then i guess i'm not alone #you could make a fic out of this concept honestly im just animatorbrained so i'd execute this best as a pmv #and i am so bad at getting animations done. despite being a fuckin animator #i am going to work on something lighthearted now ^_^ /LH I GENUINELY ENJOYED TALKING ABOUT THIS IM ALSO LIKE #IN TURMOIL AFTER DESCRIBING EVERYTHING IN THE BEST DETAIL I CAN MUSTER #i should also say the strongest ideas i had were verses 1 & 2 and the end (second half of the outro & the final instrumental)#a lot of the amvs in my head have highlight points and the parts in between them are fuzzy and malleable. i tried to get this #to be a coherent plot for the sake of summarization. if anything feels confusing assume that its cuz its a more fuzzy detail in my #mind but im also open to followup questions. teehee

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nualaofthefaerie · 2 months ago

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i would love to hear more of your thoughts and headcanons for ImmortalSandFlower 🙏🏼💞 absolutely adore how much you love Nuala :)

OMG HIIIII!

What a wonderful thing to ask me about. Since I am 100% back with the Sandman I actually have so many thoughts ISF thoughts that have been plaguing me so this is a wonderful opportunity to let them all out.

I've been especially thinking about ISF in the context of Dream's death. I think Nuala and Hob really bond over that. They are both immortal beings who live in the Waking World at the end of the story, so my headcanon is that Nuala accidentally moved in across his apartment and they meet by bumping into one another on the elevator. I don't know, it was always such a sweet image. And so they live door across door for years upon years and every year on the day of Morpheus' death they both carry bouquets of flowers and of course, as I said they are neighbours so they ask the other if they are for a passed parent or something and they both say "lover". And so they spend like an evening together and quickly realise they are mourning the same being. So when Hob reveals he is immortal, Nuala feels comfortable enough to show her ears. And from then on out they are inseparable. So, they build a small memorial for him close to the Inn and visit it every year. There is this stunning art that really looks like them in my head that I will gently link up here. They are a very gentle pairing and very cosy. (Although it must be noted, I REALLY ship Hob and Cluracan as well).

As for exclusively ISF headcanons:

Morpheus is the kind of a boyfriend whose hobbies are his partners, whenever he doesn't really have much to do he becomes a shadow to Nuala and Hob, who usually have their hands full with something. Nuala, after all, works in the Dreaming and Hob works as a teacher, so it's kind of whether he will be asked very nicely to help fold laundry or will be given some moral dilemma to ponder while Hob grades papers.

Nuala's love language is acts of service so the boys' rooms are always clean and aired out and there are flowers in the vases. My girl knows how to make a room a home.

Hob's love language is words of affirmation so they definitely clash there cause neither Nuala nor Morpheus are very good at hearing nice things about themselves, but Robert is a yapper so stop him if you can.

Dream's love language is...in development. Guys, he literally just learned to give a fuck, give him a minute. He's trying. Currently, he is in the stage of realising gifts are not enough to demonstrate affection.

Another headcanon, Hob and Nuala sing together a lot and force Morpheus into mundane activities that he doesn't understand the point of but to them it is fun.

Nuala takes the boys gardening whether in the Dreaming or in the Waking world is irrelevant, soil will be dug.

They are very Sun, Moon, Eclipse coded and their behaviours reflect that.

ALSO Robert definitely introduced the concept of movies to them and both Nuala and Morpheus find it a bit strange.

#the sandman #nuala of the faerie #nuala #the sandman netflix #nuala the sandman #dream of the endless #sandflower #morpheus #the sandman comics #nuala sandman #dreamling #dream x hob #the sandman fanart #hob gadling #sandman meta #immortalsandflower #morpheus x nuala x hob #nuala x hob

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1eos · 2 months ago

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please share some of these bls!! its crazy because i dont even like them but the ones i get from you are so fun. like the best friend who turns into a girl one i made my friend read with me and it was a good time!!

alright this will be my definitive bl rec list as of today september 15th 2024. its a LOT of reccs here so i will separate them into subsets i guess

my faves: (bls i love w all my heart and will recc constantly)

amber paradox/ameiro paradox by natsume isaku. one of my first bl 🥺they're 'straight' coworkers with beef -> decide the other isn't as bad as they first thought -> jealousy when other ppl hit on them -> realizing they have feelings for each other. i can't even say its enemies to lovers done right bc one guy didn't know they were beefing and they stay arguing w/ each other but in a cute way 😭😭😭 VERY tsundere x tsundere

konokoi wa unmeijanai by yamada yugi. this bl saved me. gay boy has a bad break up, moves, and goes to a print house (hes a graphic designer) where he meets a pretty boy who used to be a delinquent thats like 'ohhhhh so you know my friend? you're gay aren't you?' and he doesnt want to get a crush on him but the ex-delinquent is soooo charmingly stupid and crass (i love him too) and they develop a friendship and then more...?

elektel delusion by nekota yonezou. sadly the characters are in high school 😔 but the characters are very very charming. pair of besties that are childhood friends are always together. one is gay, out, and has a crush on the other and the 'straight' one keeps getting dumped by girls bc he prioritizes his bestie. gay boy (he's so scorpio coded) gets a 'boyfriend' to make other bestie jealous and straight gay boy begins to lose his mind and realize some things. this one is a classic...TO ME

konya mo nemurenai (another sleepless night) by yamamoto kotetsuko. a fave of mine. gay boy accidentally summons a demon that will not leave and keeps eating all his food. the demon is a freeloader. the gay boys wants a boyfriend. they learn to coexist and something blossoms <3

liquor & cigarette by zaria ranmaru. the art on this one is sooooooo gorg. love this one. childhood friends. one friend is openly bi and this leads to the other's bicurious moment. bi friend is like finallyyyyyyy you're considering men pleaseeeeeee pick me pleaseee date me i love u so much i've loved u for so long i want you soooo bad. and so they explore sexuality while practicing for a drinking contest in town. and the top explicitly waits for the other to figure out how he feels ouuu its so good

hashi no xl saizu by omoimi. faveeeeeeeeee. all time faveeeee. its simple, cute, no violence, nothing weird. and the plot? a college guy has a dick so big he can't date or have sex and he meets someone at a club event whos like what? no i'll teach you that there's no dick too big for someone's hole. surprisingly wholesome despite that being the lede

FUCK BUDDY BY HINAKO. i love this one. tsundere dark haired main character. bi4bi. and needless drama bc both characters are kinda toxic. tres bien. soooo these two friends are both sluts that do threesomes w women all the time bc what else do u do when u can't admit you want each other? well after one of them gets a dick injury (dont ask) they take the women out of the occasion and things progress from there

kabukichou bad trip by eiji nagisa. i loved this one so much i would suck the author off for another 4 volumes. so theres this guyyyyy he can read minds and he uses it to make bank as a host and he has a crush on a model and randomly meets said model and reads his mind on accident and the model wants to do s&m with him and the mind reader starts considering some things. the art is sooooo good btw like wow

fucked by my best friend by yupopo orishima.........this one was a staple on the blog. two besties who are sluts....are they are. one gets his gender transed by a spurned ex-lover and his friend is like 'oh finally i can fuck u' and he's like WAIT WHAT DID YOU SAY? and they fuck a lot. slut 1 transes his gender back and forth a lot and they keep fucking and gender becomes merely a trifle. an afterthought. so good

ookami-sama no koiwazurai by tobi washio. and i would KILL for a sequel to this one. its a world where some ppl have animal ears/traits and live peacefully w humans. sooo wolf guy gets into accidental beef w a human and wolf guy is like 'i was after your friend first but your autistic boy swag has seduced me....' and starts courting him and the other guy is like 'damn ive never been moved to express my emotions all too much but this sexy wolf man wants me so bad maybe i'm feeling desire for the first time?' its very funny

baby, sugar, succubus by tojo sakana. idk why i love this one so much???? it might be the art style but basically a guy runs a restaurant his dick is just too damn big and then he runs into a boy succubus that's like >.< let me in coach. but the boy succubus is very cute and has no idea how anal works glkagaklgkagkalk. anyways they make an oddly sweet couple

wholesome reads (as the kids say......gives u fluffy feelings):

totsugimasen kara by sunako. ohhhh this one is so wholesome. its omegaverse (sorry) but not in a weird way. basically the omega is sent to the alpha's family's estate to prove that he'd make a good wife and he's like naurrrr not into this. and the alpha is like naurrrrr not into all these ppl in my damn house so they butt heads. but the omega starts to have fun bonding w other omegas and fighting w the alpha and yeah <3 nothing weird is depicted in this one but warning. there is a stalker. and someone is set up to be hurt but nothing happens. just beef havers becoming sorta kinda besties to awkward as hell boyfriends

mad cinderella by yamamoto kotetsuko - comedy. slice of life. poor kid and rich kid grew up together. rich kid had to move away to bum fuck america one day and asked poor kid to promise him marriage and poor kid did thinking it was a joke. rich kid was NOT joking and when he comes back poor kid begins his gay awakening. the main conflict is that rich kid wants to hit BAD and everything keeps getting in the way 😭

wootan to fumi by saida nika. a guy is buff w big tits and an even bigger ass but once a month he grows bunny ears and a tail. so he's basically heaven for all the bunny boy enthusiasts (me) anyways his best friend wants him bad but they keep it casual and then move in together and you know! p wholesome tbh its just that wootan just be bussing out his clothes....too much bawdy

'no i actually read bls for the plot' (bls i reread mainly for the plot....winners of bl pulitzers....to me)

kohitsuji project by takenaka sei - supernatural comedy. human boy flops so bad in school he ends up going to a boarding school for vampires and everyone wants to eat him. nepo baby vampire with no socialization skills becomes infatuated with him and things go from there. just one volume wish there was more tbh

dog style by motoni moduru. a classic in the kendra blverse. this one is retro so the style is super nice and late 90s/early 00s. another highschool setting one :( soooooo punk 1's best friend is the brother of punk 2's best friend so they know of each other. punk 1 is a good fighter and punk 2 is a good runner (and gay). bc theyre both being ditched by the brothers (who they have crushes on) they spend more time together and accept their crushes fucking suck and grow closer. and they fight a lot

escape journey by ogeretsu tanaka. love this artist's style. um. exes run into each other and have to pretend they still don't wanna suck and fuck until they suck and fuck again and it's messy and funny 😭😭😭😭a sorta fave bc i love it when ppl break up and get back together sorryyyyyyyyyy

saiyaku wa boku o suki sugiru by ninomiya etsumi. now this one? is a fucking STORY. so bc of their ancestors fucking around one member of a family after a birthday will have to go thru these disasters. basically the world is trying to kill them but the kicker is any injury they get is TRANSFERRED to the person in another family. so basically they have to work together to both not die. its like 7 volumes long and i got bored of the 'gods' talking in riddles abt the disasters but the two main characters make it worth it

kami-sama no uroko by hinohara meguru. i actually don't remember shit abt this one other than how PRETTY the art is and the cool concept. so a writer returns to his hometown that has a legend abt a dragon that used to fuck abt and then he meets the dragon that looks human but swears he's a dragon. the writer is super skeptic and u know....things happen. theres a dog in this one and i love the way he's drawn 🥺

honto yajuu by yamamoto kotetsuko - comedy. mostly slice of life some drama some smut. the bl goat. the granddaddy of bl. it will be on everyone's list. a young member of the yakuza is so supple so toppable it turns a well meaning cop bisexual 😭 bl so good it makes you forget for just one second that all cops are going to hell

sick by kurahashi tomo. slice of life w a bit of comedy. blonde man has a weird desire to bully his upperclassman and turns out its sexual fascination. despite getting off on a bad foot the two of them learn more about each other and grow to fit together. the upperclassman has 3 siblings and theyre the best part of the manga tbh like seeing how the little sister starts off hating the top for taking her brother to loving him is so 🥺

furimuite tsukamaete by yoriko. i will not kill myself bc i am waiting for the ending of this one. guy has a crush on another guy who's getting married so he's like ok i have to get over this and then crush's younger brother busts in to live w him and cheers him up and that's weird? younger brother keeps getting mad when gay boy mentions the brother????? and younger brother wants to share the one bed???? and cuddle????? hmmmmmm

pretty n fun (just turn your brain off and enjoy how fun the characters are and how pretty the art is):

datte maou-sama wa kare ga kirai by yamada nichoume - UNFINISHED. supernatural...kinda? comedy. demon king and hero reincarnates? kinda. every generation and fight. this generations demon king just wants to fly under the rather but this generations hero wants to fall in love fight and fight using his 🐓the concept is kinda out there but its surprisingly wholesome

love nest by minaduki yuu. another one that's super pretty but i don't remember most of what happens. i do know that this gay guy is sick of the loud ass kids that live above him so his friend hooks him up w a new place but doesnt tell him theres another man living there 😭😭😭😭😭 (nasty af of them btw) they hate living together at first but get closer....and then they fight over who's gonna top. but its grown man yaoi so bonus points for that

30 sai kara no coming out by saike natsuhara. love this one <3 its grown man yaoi. 30 year old moves out of the country to the city so he can lose his virginity. he meets up w a guy on a dating app and they have a great time but then they reconnect bc the guy cannot get over the 30 year old's big ol' tiddies. very straightforward and sweet

natsume-san wa hirakaretai by mamita. this one is okay but the art makes it a stand out. a guy isnt that good at sex so he sets out to learn how to be a sex kitten or whatever and hires an escort/sex trainer????? girl idk and they develop his bottoming skills 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ii ko ni dekitara hometekure by kuroi yodaka. the setting of this one is kinda stupid but its hot.......its in a world where some ppl have a secondary gender of dom or sub 😭😭😭😭 and they have to do subdom play or they'll be on lexepro (its soooo dumb) anyways a teacher got dumped bc his fiancee found out he's a sub and didnt tell her so he wants to meet someone to relieve himself but an ex student (but is now an adult) shows up and he's like naurrrrr but the student is a dom and they click and the teacher hates that he's into it and they find out their sub/dom styles fit each other. *sigh* but the born sub plot point is sooo dumb

kocchi muite glare by yareya umako. ANOTHER 'you're born dom/sub' story 😭 its such a dumb ass idea but the art on this one is soooo good. anyways a guy is isekaied into a world where everyone has animal ears + tails + you're either a dom or a sub. and he's like chill. until he starts getting subby with everything the dom that found him says and theres some shit abt the dom being Too Strong of a Dom but the isekaied sub has no problem w it and yadda yadda ok i didn't read this one for the plot the art is nice and the main couple is cute together SUE ME

netsujou drawing by sakura hitsuji. college student meants a man soooo hot sooooo sexy he's like can i PLEASE draw you i will die if i don't. sexy guy agrees and then the college student is like 'ykw? you're so sexy not only will i keep drawing you, i'm bisexual now. let's date idc if we just met...look at your sexy ass omg' and they go from there lol

one side in room by mitsuko. shy guy with crazy rbf meets another guy that's good at speaking his mind and becomes infatuated. other guy thinks rbf guy is cute underneath the rbf so they fall into dating without actually talking abt dating and shy guy is confused and fucks shit up by being so shy and the drama's a bit annoying but theyre cute <4

itsuka no true end by nakamura makino. sweet and simple setup. theres a couple and they fuck a lot and u go back to get their back story and it turns out one is a literal demon king and the other the hero who was isekaied to kill the demon king but was like um can i not be a murderer? so they got married instead and u see how they went from awkward to mutually lovey dovey

cock n balls (the ones that are mostly 🐓 but i love them not despite but BECAUSE of it)

stay goodboy by dotsuco. this one is basically just porn but im obsessed w this artist's style and how they draw boobs and i need everyone to see it. so there's this sexy dark haired tsundere <3 and he has a boyfrienddddd and they don't meet up for a month and then they do andddd boobs

the dreaming trainer's ideal master by rai yaezaki. if u like big boobs.....this is the one. big tiddied softie works training subs and secretly wants to be one but is scared he's just too breastful but a rich man is like 'i saw u jolting thiccly and fell in love...' and then in the 2nd story a depressed man is saved by a.....street fighter? idk. and the street fighter gives him pussy so good the depressed man turns his whole life around. me and leo if he let me hit omg who said that?

the handsome salesman at work is an ideal master by atarayo aka nocori. my best friend nocoriiiiiiiiiiiii. this one is mostly porn but its got good art and the couple is funny as hell together. gay boy 1 is a severe introvert and gay boy 2 is an extreme extrovert and they have amazingggggg chemistry so introvert gay boy overcomes his fear of extroverts to hook up again and they match each other's freak and its saur good

#asks #y'all better read some of these bc i spent an hour and a half putting this list together 😭😭😭😭#bl recs

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gyuluttony · 11 months ago

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would love something mingi x yunho 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 maybe something christmas coded like the two of them having matching sweaters every year, but mingi realizes he can’t fit into his by the time christmas comes around because yunho has been spoiling him so well 🤭🤭🤭

oooh i've been waiting for ateez reqs highkey... i love most pairings in this group soooo bad. these two tall boys are like the cutest people ever so i'm always ready to give stuff for them. gave my bias a cameo because he's an ult (i'm so insane for him) i'm also speedrunning this story because it's christmas eve and i desire to be timely.

What Love Does

This is a feederism fic and features weight gain, breaking of clothes and stuffing. Don't like, don't read.

This year, the holidays crept up on Mingi. He was always usually ready to celebrate, but this time, it came as something a little more out of left field. It might have had something to do with the fact that the holiday season was going to be the first time he spent it with Yunho as his lover and not his best friend.

The pair had spent over half a decade of harbouring innocent feelings for the other before Mingi had confessed his feelings earlier this year. Pretty much all their friends were celebrating the fact that they managed to get this far after witnessing their pining for as long as they did so the transition to couple went pretty smoothly in that department as well.

He knew that Yunho was perfect considering the reason why he harboured these feelings for as long as he did but it was another thing to experience them firsthand. Romantic picnics on the weekends, candlelit dinners when he had a long day at work - there was no area that his boyfriend lacked for romanticism, leaving Mingi a flustered mess whenever he would be subject to it.

Returning these grand gestures back for him was always something that he did. Making songs for Yunho, massaging him when he was tense or just feeling sore from working out or dancing, notes for everyday. They were just the picture perfect fairy tale couple that people were always rooting for.

That brought them to Christmas season. Usually, the two were known as the pair who were not pushovers when it came to the season. Even before they got together, it was a no-brainer that Christmas celebrations would be done at their apartment since they always decorated it festively and were trying new recipes constantly. The amount of practice baking that Yunho did during November astounded Mingi, their place becoming a shared housing for just about thousands of gingerbread families that Mingi would happily munch on in between actual meals. The light displays that they had were always state of the art thanks to Mingi's ability to find the best deals possible to make sure the celebrations were as cool as he wanted them to be in his head.

Everyone was surprised it wasn't Christmas season when they got together but love has people work in mysterious ways. They even had a tradition of wearing matching Christmas sweaters and they had giggled about being able to wear the couple ones openly this year. Mingi had placed the order and on the first day of December, they had arrived and the pair was ready to wear them.

Yunho had exited the room with his 'Christmas Cookie baker' sweater as Mingi looked at the 'Christmas Cookie tester' one with a smile on his face. They always had fun looking for the corniest ones and he had placed this one after a long night of clearing the kitchen of any remnants of Yunho's baking extravaganza one day.

Slipping on the sweater, he looks a little puzzled as it bunches up near his chest, which... now that he's looking at it, is a lot rounder than it used to be. He was used to having pecs but with how much they were protruding and how soft they were, it was a lot more similar to moobs. It was probably just a little bit of relationship weight... he couldn't have put on that much.

The thought came in went as he tried to get the sweater to cover his massive belly that he hadn't even noticed most of the time, which said a lot considering as his hand brushed over it, it felt soft and jiggly, meaning that Santa probably had a lot of competition if they were ever in the same room. As he walked over to a mirror, he felt himself jiggling as he blushed. Where had all this weight come from?

It's not like he stopped going to the gym. Granted, his cardio time got cut in half and he wasn't exactly sure as to what caused it. In the washroom, he lifted his gut up before letting it down, a shiver running down his spine as he felt it rest against the cool bathroom counter and watched as it started to threaten to spill into the sink. What on earth made him think that he could wear the same size as last year... and how did he not notice this sooner?

Grabbing his phone from the bed, he grunts as he bends a little to grab it, feeling his gut hang while he does it before he shoots a message to his friend.

"yo, you and woo wore matching sweaters last year for christmas right? can we borrow them lol"

He wasn't really expecting a response right away considering it was the middle of the day during the week but San got back rather quickly.

"😏 did someone realize how much relationship weight he put on?"

Mingi felt his face flush. Had other people noticed it too? That probably meant Yunho noticed it but why wouldn't he? As he gave it some more thought, times where Yunho was rubbing his enlarged thighs and playing with his belly came to memory. Oh wow, he really hadn't noticed anything because whenever he felt too full and complained like he usually did, Yunho always told him to come over and rest against him while he rubbed his tummy. The way his hands moved on Mingi's fattened body were always enough to lull him to sleep, which likely added to how he managed to get this fat so quickly.

San's next message snaps him out of his stupor.

"fs bro. i don't think i even fit in mine this year lolol woo's might be a little tight on yunho but it should work out regardless."

San had steadily gotten larger during his relationship with Wooyoung but to think that he had put on enough weight to need hand-me-downs from him was making him feel hot in his stomach that was still hanging out of the sweater that he had bought.

Yunho had reentered the room and Mingi turned to look at him. He was biting his lip and making no effort to hide how he was ogling his boyfriend's widened form in the tight clothes as he looked at him. It's not like Yunho had completely escaped the relationship weight, the sweater that same size that he had gotten the year prior was rather tight on his frame and he couldn't help but wonder if that's what San was alluding to as well.

"Are we going to talk about it?" Yunho looked hesitant, not sure as to what his boyfriend was thinking.

"We can..." Mingi began and he watched Yunho tense up before he smiled, "...over the batch of cookies you made. This doesn't fit anyways so maybe I can be the Santa for the party this year instead of San." Before, he would have never thought of fat on his body. Not that he didn't like it but he wasn't ever going to think about it.

Now that he sees his boyfriend scurrying off to get some more cookies to fill him up and just fatten him more, the fat is less about his body and just showing evidence of how much Yunho loved to spoil him... and he loved to be spoiled so he wanted to see how many more pant sizes it would get him to size up.

#kpop feederism #atz feederism #gyuluttonous behaviour #chubby mingi #weight gain fiction

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ryuichirou · 5 months ago

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Replies

Some replies! Surprisingly, a lot of replies about boys sharing and not sharing boyfriends with each other + some longer old ones about fandom stuff.

Anonymous asked:

I LOVE CODE GEASS. GRWHSBDHURBFUHHDNUSJ

(related to this post)

IT’S VERY GOOD, ANON!! Unfortunately, I was in my potato phase art-wise back then, and this is like the worst title to fanart when you have a roundish potato-like goofy-looking (unintentionally) artstyle, so I can’t even look at my sketches from that time. But we’re definitely going to rewatch it again at some point, and then I’ll draw CC a lot…

Anonymous asked:

Just saw your reply the other day about RookVil (my other favourite ship) and this is exactly how I see it too. Two people who are private enough that only those in their circle really know them, and yet they've opened up to each other and found something special, there's real trust between them. I love them and I wish I had somewhere I could gush loudly about them (other than my long-suffering non-twst friends, my fandom friends aren't so keen so i stay quiet). I love your stuff, all of it, even the stuff I don't get because it's in a fandom I don't know. I'll shut up, but thank you for all the RookVil ❤️

(this is about this post)

Thank you so much for liking our stuff, Anon, I am so happy to hear that you enjoy it even if it’s unfamiliar fandom! I am also happy you feel that way about RookVil. I’ve said it multiple times already, but it wouldn’t hurt to say it again: they’re amazing together.

I hope you find someone to scream into all your love for them, but also feel free to send another ask when you feel like it. As long as I can add something, I’ll reply!

Anonymous asked:

I actually enjoy being in the mountains m, they’re peaceful. Jade, if you ruin that for me, I’m sacrificing you to the mountain gods and throwing you off the nearest cliff ૮( ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ )ა

Mountains are great, Anon! Jade would never dare to disrupt the peace… but also I am not entirely sure he would be opposed to being sacrificed to the mountain gods, to be honest lol

Anonymous asked:

Lilia, the only tickle he feels “down there” is the tickle of dread and terror.

(this is related to this comic)

Indeed… but it still tickles, right? >w< Isn’t it fun???

Anonymous asked:

Ok ok ok.

Now I've got ideas about Lilia and making plans to mess with Idia to get Ortho all riled up so Lilia can watch Idia get even more flustered.

Like, Lilia and Idia are playing games and Ortho's all jealous, so Lilia intentionally says stuff that'll both make Idia flustered and Ortho more jealous.

And then it eventually leads to Lilia getting to witness Ortho trying to get Idia's attention any way he can. (either by listening through headphones or he's actually in the same room)

Your art gives me so many ideas and I love it.

Very cheeky of Lilia to do it, but also of course he would be into seeing just how possessive Ortho can get with Idia. Ortho isn’t even supposed to eavesdrop on them or watch them play together, but Lilia would somehow always be aware of that from the moment he learns who he is playing with lol

I feel like Lilia likes making people jealous in general. Watching someone get angry and try to win someone over or get their attention is always super amusing, but with the Shrouds? With the added layer of Ortho being a needy younger brother that doesn’t want to share Idia with him? Amazing.

Anonymous asked:

I need to ask, do you guys ever think about 2 tops putting it in at the same time in someone?

Idia could take it? Right ? 👀

Idia could take much more than Idia himself thinks… he should believe in himself! <3 You go, Idia!

But to answer your question, yes absolutely we think about it, even though with some of the boys’ sizes it seems physically impossible… but nothing is impossible if you try hard enough!

Seriously though, Idia would be so shocked when he realises that both of them are currently inside: 50% panicked and 50% aroused.

I would love to put all of our bottoms through this fate, but the ones that are more likely to be able to handle it are Silver (wouldn’t hear a peep of complaining from him, just eagerness to please), Jamil (just as shocked and aroused as Idia) and Deuce (too horny and barely understanding what’s going on). Riddle would be so hot though with how tiny he is…

I always think about the tweels when we discuss this particular topic, but Lilia and Ortho are a surprisingly good team~ At times they might be even a better team than the Tweels because Floyd turns it into a competition sometimes.

Anonymous asked:

Don't remember if you had a similar ask to this, but how about twst boys that have multiple partners/ships where one gives advice on the best way to please their shared partner? Like, I can imagine floyd trying to get trey to squeeze riddle too because trust me, he likes a lot.

Good question, Anon! In theory, it could be something for Floyd to tell Trey (because Riddle likes it A LOT…), but I also feel like Floyd is surprisingly possessive when it comes to Riddle. Something has to click in a certain way in his brain to go that route; somehow sharing this information with Sea Turtle feels like a waste… if he didn’t figure out by now that this is how Goldfishie wants to be treated, well too bad!

The tweels would talk to each other though, and even though it isn’t necessarily giving each other advice, they would discuss sex in details sometimes, sharing experiences, so to speak.

I feel like those who are the most likely to give advice in this way are Lilia and Rook. But for some reason I always picture it as something unsolicited with these two lol

I think Lilia gives lots of advice to Sebek about both Silver and Malleus, and Sebek is always super flustered and surprised at first, but he still ends up applying everything… he had no idea his liege would enjoy having his horns bitten…

But Sebek isn’t the only one that gets to listen to Lilia’s advice. He hinted at some of Idia’s weak spots to Azul a couple of times, both to help out and to tease him. Azul always gets super jealous but tries to hide it behind smiling and thanking Lilia for looking out for his and Idia-san’s relationship.

Basically, no one is safe from Lilia’s sex advice. He is here to help out! And to watch everyone blush and panic lol

Rook sometimes gives advice about someone he doesn’t even sleep with, but he still has this information somehow. It actually caused some pretty bad misunderstandings in the past. He really should stop sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.

Anonymous asked:

Hey Ryu! It's been a while since I sent you an ask, I just wanted to drop by to tell you that your art is amazing and it gets better everyday! And also to praise you for being one of the very few people in the fandom to explore the twst characters dark side? Idk if it makes sense, but I keep seeing fandom puritans that are sadly spreading more around in the twst fandom portray them as these poor little helpless teens who do nothing wrong and it's hilarious because they're villains? A lot of them are morally grey, some of them borderline villainous (like the Leech twins imo) and they're also teenagers. When I saw your comic about Floyd squashing a fairy out of sheer fun and curiosity, I was all "yes, yes, this the kind of twst content I like!!". I'm not trying to say that fluff isn't allowed because I love me some good fluff of my OTPs, but I think we can enjoy "soft" twst content while acknowledging that these boys are the worst lmao. They're teens and also villains, of course they're gonna be cruel, of course they're gonna be manipulative, of course they're going to gangbang someone in revenge (ye I'm taking about that Fellow art, good shit! Tbh I could see them doing that or beating him to a pulp at the end of playful land). And also they're gonna explore their sexuality. I don't know why fandom nowadays is so hell-bent on saying "don't make art of teens fucking" when... Teens fuck, a lot lol, and villain teens? I think they go at it in any place of the school. (And they're fictional ffs, they don't even act as normal teens). Sometimes I wish Yana had full creative control so she'd give us some more dark content without The Rat™ holding her back, but you're doing god's (Yana's) work so keep going at it. I enjoy your art, and I enjoy that you feed us daily. I hope my ask made sense lol, have a good start of the week, both you and Katsu!

Anon! Sorry so much for the late reply, and thank you SO MUCH for saying that my art gets better and for all the praise in general! I am very happy you like our stuff, and especially that fairy comic! Sometimes I feel like I went to dark there but then I remember that it was literally inspired by one of Floyd’s voice lines lol

Everyone has their own preference, and I agree that fluff has a right to exist, and even we post some pretty fluffy stuff sometimes despite not liking it at all. But you are also right, there is such a lack of darker content, considering how dark the game is and how bad the boys are. Especially the tweels! Katsu and I love darker themes, and a lot of times we make the characters worse than they actually are and come up with some messed-up headcanons, and we do it for twst too, but I feel like the majority of things that we write and draw for twist are like… already in twst. It’s either hinted at or implied, or even straight-up said; and this is why we love it so much. They really are bad people, they really are villains, and some of them are legit monsters.

As for the teens having sex, yeah everyone has their own pace and no one should be rushed to do anything, but it’s silly to argue with the fact that teens do in fact experiment sexually, and it’s a natural thing to do. The absolute majority of us has been there in one way or another. And I find it funny when people forget about it, you know? That sometimes (a lot of times, more often than people think) fictional teens fucking is a reflection of one’s own experiences, thoughts, desires, fears and feelings from back then, combined with their favourite characters’ dynamic with each other, put in a hypothetical situation that has nothing to do with them or with real life whatsoever, and still has this vague and often subconscious emotional link. This isn’t always the case, but yeah that’s the whole point: it doesn’t matter. It’s fiction, therefore any idea can be explored.

Especially if we’re talking about an all-boys school filled with a bunch of angry horny delinquents that is NRC lol

Thank you once again for such a sweet message, and sorry for replying so late. We really appreciate everything you’ve said…

PS. Reading Yana’s censorship-free version of twst would be such a blast oh my god

Anonymous asked:

Hey ryuichi, have you ever noticed the difference between the EN Twst fandom and the JP Twst fandom? The EN Twst fandom is mostly 80% made out of Antis, unfortunately, so out of curiosity, i decided to see what the JP Twst fandom is up too (Mainly one Twitter, privatter and poipiku) and it's so peaceful over there?! Everyone is so supportive and friendly. No one is calling out anything "problematic" in my experience, which makes me think most of them know the difference between reality and fiction.

That being said, I feel so bad for them and the way they were treated. So many talented people have been harassed and bullied out of the fandoms. It’s disgusting to see. (Like in general, not necessarily Twst related). I'm against all morality policing. It's so frustrating to see a lot of Japanese artists on Twitter being harassed for the way they depict characters (skin colour, bust size, body shape). I've also seen a lot of antis trying to justify racism against asians because "Japan's a nation of pedos anyway." Because nothing beats imagined racism like actual hardcore racism.

The best part? Japanese fandom is learning about the anti/proshipping discourse! Basically, they've started to call antis "American Yakuza feelings," which is so fitting if you ask me, lol. And I notice that anti's are removing "proship dni" rapidly because the Japanese fandoms blocking them. Imagine giving up your "highly moral value" for some Japanese fanart. I mean, in the end, they got what they wanted "Proship DNI" and didn't expect the Japanese fandoms to have more common sense and media literacy than any other EN fandom out there.

Anyway, I love your art, mwah 💋

Hi Anon!

Yeah, the difference between JP and EN fandoms has always been surprising. You might have seen the post with the list of our fandoms throughout the years, and I was thinking whether I should note that by “fandoms” we just mean “titles we are into” and not being a part of any actual group of people… I didn’t end up writing it, but the point is, we were barely a part of any actual fandom all these years exactly because of this social climate. Just posting things from time to time without participating anywhere and talking to someone else felt much more comfortable. Twst (+ shingeki a couple of years ago) is the closest thing we’ve ever had to being a part of a fandom, and it’s solely because there are so many chill people there who are willing to have fun and indulge in weird ideas. People who are here for the characters and their interactions, you know?

I am sure that JP fandom has its own issues, and I would actually really love to learn more about it, but one thing we can all say for certain is that they really respect boundaries. The “live and let live” culture is very important in fandoms, and I wish EN fandoms would have it too. The only thing one really needs is to warn about posting possibly upsetting things and have disclaimers for those who don’t want to see this type of content, and after that the artist isn’t really responsible if someone clicked on it/scrolled the page despite the warnings and got upset. I like it a lot. I am super grateful and happy to be able to communicate with JP artists even if it’s just through mutual likes and occasional comments, and I am super grateful and happy that the EN people we have around us are supportive and don’t tolerate any bullshit.

It really is heartbreaking when an artist is being harassed. No one should be harassed, but when someone who doesn’t talk English is getting ambushed or shittalked by the antis that just have nothing better to do, it’s super shitty.

Actually, I won’t mince my words on this particular topic: people should stop harassing creators and treating them as jesters to throw tomatoes at. It’s pathetic when people shit on an artist for shipping Vil and Neige, it’s disgusting when people mistranslate manga and spread rumors that cause creators to feel helpless because they can’t address this shit, it’s sickening when people shit on Yana for taking a break and drawing shorter chapters. This isn’t exactly the theme of the post, but as I was thinking about it, I got angry again lol Such ungrateful fucks.

Anyways! I agree that it is hilarious that JP artist block “proship dni” people on sight now, the only bad thing about it is that it’s more difficult to find these people now that they’re removing this phrase from their bio. And I thought it was their badge of honor, how come how come…

eh-nonnie-mouse asked:

Sorry, this ask is a bit unhinged with how much stuff I tried to cram into it. I wanted to get this off my chest and feel free not to respond to this, since your response seemed pretty chill. I got a little annoyed at how I have seen a couple people asking for more 'content' in the past month and it has been bugging me. But I have also been wanting to comment on your cute Sebek art and bully him.

To the anons who ask tersely for more 'content' without helping create a dialogue to work from,

I don't think you meant it that way, or I hope you didn't mean for it to sound like a demand. Head cannons and art take time to think up. It's not just something that is generated (and yes I am using this word on purpose) out of nothing. Creativity is fueled by a give and take between fans and Ryu and Katsu's enjoyment of a fandom. If you want more of something, try reaching out with a comment or start a discussion on something you liked about the character. They are both people and not machines pushing out stuff for you to consume. Especially since they are sharing their hard work for free.(discounting Ko-Fi, but tip your artist anyway. They all deserve it for their work.)

Now I would like to gush about Sebek and his cute little blush and lipstick mark from a certain fae. (and maybe about the new Fellow and Gidel art.)

Sebek baby!!! He looks so blissed out I bet he came in his pants a little (please just a little as a treat💦). Mal Mal so mean to him. I love the poses and how you can only see Malleus's arm and how Sebek is leaning into the touch for more. The expression of pure want. OMG, what if Malleus kissed him as a consolation for not sitting in his lap and now Sebek can't move cause he's got a raging boner. (OR HE DOES AND EVERY ONE IGNORES HIM BECAUSE WHO DOESN'T KNOW HIS REFERENT LOVE FOR LORD MALLEUS 🤣)

I only plan on NA server and have seen some spoilers for the Playful Land Event, but Fellow looks so conniving and shady lol. Gidel looks so cute trying to concentrate on what to write. Does he do the tongue sticking out thing when hes thinking really hard and does he know how to write or is it just indecipherable scribbles that Fellow just nods and goes "Yep, those be words, totally."

Also totally unrelated to either of those pics, who is the anon who posted about Silver sleeping around and calling people Daddy. I just wanna talk, about how hilarious the whole thing would be. Please, I don't bite. Just a little feral about freaky stuff. (And gods you two had an AMAZING response. I don't feel like I could add more but thots go brrrrr.)

SORRY FOR REPLYING SO LATE AAAHHH YOU ARE SO KIND THANK YOU SO MUCH!

It does bother us when people ask for more content or for some specific content, but I always try to assume that it’s just the phrasing issue… which doesn’t necessarily make things better considering that we post like 5 things per day if we’re counting all of our accounts lol We also always try not to post the same characters all the time, Katsu especially makes effort to ensure that our posting is still fun and fresh for both people following us and us too. My replies usually sound nicer than they probably should because sometimes in this way I can address other people in case they’ve been wondering about the same thing or at least to explain things to them. That + a firm belief that people really don’t mean to sound rude, although from time to time both Katsu and I snap in our replies lol poor anons...

So I really appreciate you supporting us! You are absolutely right: enjoyment is the main thing that keeps us posting, not any obligation. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we would have stopped posting twst after like 1 week of posting if we didn’t get support; we never anticipated that it would become such a huge thing for us. Let’s enjoy it as much and as long as we can without making it feel like a job.

I am so happy you liked that Sebek sketch!! <3 He really did come in his pants a little from that smooch lol Malleus is a tease and he knows it. If this is consolation for not sitting in his lap… damn that Sebek boy is lucky :”( lol poor people at Noble Bell looking at this lost and smitten horny boy.

You also absolutely nailed the dynamic on that Gidel+Fellow sketch lol this is exactly what it is. I hope you enjoy these two when you finally get to play this event!

#replies

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v7n5 · 7 months ago

Note

PLS TELL ME UR NACHOJESSE HCS

HI OMG hello there, so I love nachojesse but I don't really have any noteworthy hcs for them atm. I did talk about a few on my old account though, and they were mostly about how Nacho would always watch over Jesse and how Jesse would open Nacho's mind and actually get him to engage in a casual conversation. They would go on cute little dates around ABQ in their spare time (those fics of them visiting an art museum and carpooling warm my heart) and Walt would get so annoyed at them being gradually smitten with each other. Something that has been on my mind is the way they would feel So. Safe. in each other’s presence. It’s that sense of security washing over them the moment they get to see/talk to each other that would have both of them relax instantly, sometimes they wouldn’t be able to contain their smiles too (perhaps it’s because they wouldn’t see any hidden motive behind their words/actions respectively, and in my head they're actually closer in age than what the wiki pages tell us so their ways of thinking are more similar than we think, like I know they are different people but that scene where Nacho was elaborating on his plan to assassinate Tuco to Mike gives me a lot of Jesse vibes)

Another thing that’s been embedded in my brain since forever is the image of them in bed, Jesse with his head on Nacho’s chest as he listens to his heartbeat/breathing while Nacho strokes his crown, nose buried in Jesse’s hair and he breathes him in, eyes closed with contentment. The thought of Jesse being the first and only person whom Nacho actually wants to indulge in aftercare with drives me crazy. They’re so so boyfriends it’s insane.

Oh yeah they're very t4t coded, and they’d most definitely steal each other’s clothes and accessories. Nacho would wake up to his chain missing and only finding it around Jesse’s neck when he arrives at the lab (Jesse’s like: “I look so much cooler with it than you >:)) And on some days, one of their peers would knock on Jesse’s door just to have Nacho greet them in Jesse’s oversized tee that has unhinged graphics all over it with a grouchy attitude like “🤨 Can I help you?”. Like they'd bring the most unexpected things out of one another, they're just so fun.

#nachojesse #my first ask! and its nachojesse related. didnt see it coming but im not complaining #thank you anon #jesse pinkman #nacho varga #breaking bad #better call saul #asks

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snowangeldotmp3 · 2 months ago

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Can you just…ramble about romy ronance and explain everything? I know absolutely nothing about X-men but I’m seeing the art and I know your ronance ideas are always killer so I am confused yet invested at the same time

of course anon!! i’ll have to admit this one isn’t very well thought out and all in good fun, but the idea of romy ronance is so intriguing to me

so! romy is the ship between rogue and gambit in the marvel comics. rogue and gambit are both mutants. rogue's mutant power is that she can absorb someone else's powers and memories through touch alone. she once held on too long to captain marvel (carol danvers) and permanently absorbed her powers of flight, super strength, and near invulnerability. when rogue absorbs memories and whatnot it's basically like. that person living inside her head. rogue put her first boyfriend in a coma (accidentally!!) when her mutant powers manifested. rogue is also known for calling everyone "sugar" bc shes a Southern Gal(tm) from mississippi! in the comics tho it's often written as "sugah" bc they wanna make sure people know it's a southern accent lolol

gambit's powers are related to kinetic energy manipulation. he can charge inanimate objects and essentially make them into bombs. he can also resist telepathic attacks (which is. very useful in the xmen universe.) he also has like, a hypnotic charm as part of his abilities but that's just like, a cherry on top thing. he's also cajun, and a former member of the thieves guild, but you don't need to know any of the thieves guild stuff for romy ronance

anyway. rogue and gambit have a very sweet relationship. they genuinely care for each other and they really do love each other. just so much. it's already frustrating enough for rogue to not be able to touch anyone (hence the gloves and why she often covers gambit's mouth with her hand and then kisses the back of her hand--and why she's always covered up!) and with gambit it's just a touch more frustrating bc she wants to kiss him!! but she can't!!! she has to be so careful and so methodical to ensure the fact that she does NOT make skin to skin contact with anyone--that includes just a brush of skin. like bumping into someone.

but rogue and gambit have very fun pet names for each other. gambit's favorite is "chère." my personal favorite that rogue uses is "swamp rat" (lovingly).

there's a lot of things im not going into here just because we'd literally be here all day if i continued any more rogue and gambit lore.

now onto the ronance stuff:

nancy as rogue to me makes the most sense just because. trauma. and also the meticulous attention to things. but mostly trauma (and you knowwww it's barb related, babey!)

im not gonna lie. gambit robin came to me just because robin knows french (and spanish and italian etc etc) but i got the mental image of robin calling nancy "chère" and thus, romy ronance was born. plus i've been like. neck deep in xmen stuff since i finished watching xmen '97 a few months ago (which is a phenomenal show, btw. definitely recommend) other than that i can't really explain it. ronance is just so romy coded... to me. rogue and gambit are both very like. ride or die. which is another ronance quality. and rogue specifically is like. i don't know how to explain it. but there's just a overlapping nancy quality there somewhere...

obviously i don't think nancy is exactly like rogue and i don't think robin is exactly like gambit, but there are some parts of those characters that really do just. make sense for the two.

anyway, i hope this was helpful and if you have any more questions anon, feel free to ask!!

#got mail! 📩#anon asks #romy ronance #romy ronance au #i don't actually want to tag this as ronance bc i don't want to clog the tag or anything but!#ronance #okay now i’m tagging it but i put it under the cut so the anon can find it!

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indecentpause · 3 months ago

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Happy Storyteller Saturday!

Instead of asking about your WIPs, I'm going to ask about your completed stories. Are there any characters who you hold particularly close to your heart? Why?

I LOVE JEN from In the Basement, In the Sky; Pascal from In the Lion's Teeth (he also has a bit of brief page time in Puzzle), and March and all of his friends from One More Time (With Feeling).

I love Jen because writing him was not only fun and interesting but it helped me figure out how to handle some of my own personal issues. I also love that so many people have connected with him; I've gotten a number of very sweet messages from people struggling with addiction saying they really felt seen, and that Jen's ending made them hopeful they could get sober too ;-;

Pascal was one of the ways I figured out I'm autistic (he is VERY autistic-coded even though it wasn't intentional, I was just writing him in the way that made sense to me. it pushed me into looking into it for myself more). he's so smart but he's awkward and people think he's weird and he's not very good at taking care of himself or dealing with emotions. I also wanted to write a character with schizoaffective disorder, which for a long time my doctors thought I had (it ended up being diagnosed as something else). but I feel like you don't see the schizo-family disorders enough in fiction, and a lot of what there is is really gross and demonizing. I wanted it to be a struggle for him and the people around him but not in a way that people think he's scary or a burden--he just needs things done in certain ways and the few people he gets close to are willing to do that. as friends should! Pascal gets scared of himself sometimes, but his friends are always there for him to fall back on, when he's confident enough in himself to ask

AND MARCH MY SWEET AWKWARD ARTIST he has bad luck with love and relationships and but he's really good at being a friend :) One More Time (With Feeling) is about a lot of things, but one of the things it's about is finding someone you can have a deep, loving connection with without sexual intimacy. I identified as ace at the time (now with more research I realize I'm more demi) and I wanted an ace character! the ending is sad but I like to think it suits the story. I love March. he paints and does street art with his boyfriend and helps Lola build sculptures out of the stuff she brings home from the junkyard where she works and he makes great coffee.

thank you for the question! I don't ramble enough about characters from my finished work, thank you for opening up that door for me! lol

#ask pause things #winterandwords #storyteller saturday #sts #pascal al nassar #jen hoshigawa #march liu #sheraton academy au #in the basement in the sky #in the lion's teeth #one more time with feeling

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nuclearjacks · 7 months ago

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13, 15, 23 for ask game 👀

13. A character or ship you haven’t drawn/written for yet but would like to someday?

MegaRod 100%. They're one of my favorite ships in the TF fandom but god I can't believe I've never made content for them ;-;

I have one spicy wip that's been laying around in my folders since 2022, and was going to make a comic for a zine I had to drop out of with hints of MegaRod but it's all stuff I never got around to or never finished. I need to fix that in the future >:)

They are my beloveds who are such beautiful mirrors of one another, on top of I relate so heavily with their characters for one reason or another so they mean a lot to me <3

15. Have you noticed your style change over time?

Absolutely! It's much easier to notice the changes over a larger amount of time like my art now vs my 2021 art. You can see the drastic change in my lineart and especially with my shape work and how saturated my colors are now pictured below vvv

But there's definitely still some changes I've been noticing here and there in the past year, much more subtle and much more gradual. I've been improving on my speed and simplification of designs into my style, especially with Transformers. And I've also been getting a lot better with backgrounds/actually adding backgrounds in now bdavbdkvb not to mention, experimenting with lighting and learning about things like sub-surface scattering, reflective lighting, ambient lighting and a whole bunch of pretty overwhelming concepts tbh sdbksdbv

This year so far has mostly been a lot of experimenting and much more experimenting to come and I'm excited to see what my style evolves into next : )

23. Has your favourite character/ship changed over time?

Probably more my understanding of my favorite characters and ships.

I still ADORE MegOp and the mix of tragedy, pining and fluff it is but my understanding and interpretation of their characters has changed drastically from when I first entered this fandom at 18, now 23.

There were definitely influences from my anime fandom days where I thought "Orion is so baby and is a precious cinnamon roll who couldn't hurt a fly, lookit how smol he is with his big beefy warrior boyfriend who protecs him" to "Orion is a capable character who, while naive about the world, could be just as smart as Megatronus and in doing so created a whole other faction that inadvertently worked alongside a corrupt political system that Megatronus was trying to deconsruct" (Also not hating on anyone who still likes character interpretations like the first, it's just not my thing that much anymore personally kjbdvksbv)

I still like the concept of big beefy warrior boyfriend protecting his small librarian (cause c'mon that's just fun ksdbvksdb), but I merge it with my larger understanding of the classism themes, alongside the inherent religious themes of Optimus becoming a Prime that I'm such a bitch for kdbsdkjbv

Same goes for Rodimus in MTMTE. He went from "Haha he's just like me fr, lookit this ADHD baby who can't focus for a second haha he always forgets paperwork and has never done wrong I don't see how someone can hate him" to "Rodimus has done so much wrong and that's what makes him an insanely relatable character. People hate him because he's genuinely fucked up so bad and placed blame on everyone but himself because he wants so badly to be the hero of the story instead of the person everyone sees as the 'fuck up'. The fact he keeps trying to live up to a title that's bullshit and to a person (Optimus) who doubts himself every second of the day and doesn't see how fucked his own lineage actually is because the person he looks up to most is hiding things just like him and has fucked up just like he has, as has every other prime before him. But damn it, he's going to try and do better this time, he has to. Also he's so ADHD-coded it's not even funny."

Tldr: I merge the simpler concepts I loved when I was younger with the more complex concepts I love now that I'm older to create a nuanced narrative of the characters and their relationships while being a self indulgent fangirl skbgsbbihuft

#long post #fandom ask game #transformers #maccadams

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fairyblue-alchemist · 2 years ago

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hi hi hello my friend!!

could you perhaps! tell me a bit about hades?? all i know is that zagreus is prince of the underworld and gender as fuck and that thanatos is his boyfriend �� (this is not inspired by that in the tags post at all why do you ask)

i am putting this under a read more this is going to be LONG.

*visibly shaking* OK. SO. basic premsie of the game is that zagreus is looking for his birth mother by escaping from the underworld and his father who is willing to do anything to get him back. i figure that you already knew that SO. LET'S TALK ABOUT HIM AS A CHARACTER. he is a lot of things. talkative. sarcastic. perhaps slightly naive (but that's a personal beef i have about the matters of family in general). very extremely gay. you can romance both thanatos and megaera at the same time and have a polycule. or only one of them! or neither! i did neither because i projected so hard onto zagreus that it cracked the aro egg (me). anyways! he's also incredibly kind and polite to other people (assuming they're kind to him in turn. not hades because he SUCKS), he always tries to help those in need and he is SO stubborn about wanting to help them and this is how we get side plots in the game. he's just a really good dude overall, and my favorite thing about him is that he never yells. ever. my friend looked through all his voice lines (and there are SO many because once again he talks a LOT) and there is no yelling that isn't just generalized fighting noises. zagreus is! a great guy overall! he's doing his best! don't be afraid to kill him a little though he's fine with it.

oh shit this is hades in general. ahem! you get boons from various gods of the greek pantheon, though not all of them and they are very conveniently color coded to tell them apart as you try to leave the underworld. as per usual with the greek gods, things become a very messy family affair. is it spoilers to tell you that hades himself is the final boss? yeah you get to kick your dad in the face. might get kicked in the face a couple times first but it's very satisfying to down him. the game is really very versatile too, you get a ton of different buffs and perks to play around with in the form of boons from gods and you can unlock several different types of weapons so you can find one that suits you best! i favor the bow and all my friends who play hades calls me insane for it. if you ever get to try out the bow in the game, you get to decide whether i'm insane for it or not too.

and most importantly! dying is actually a very big thing in the game, through dying and learning and gaining new upgrades to make yourself stronger, you will get better. don't be afraid to die! but there's an option in the game called 'god mode' that will make things a little easier if you're having a really rough time. there's no drawback to using it and you can turn it on and off as you please. also there are certain upgrades (very vital ones too) that can only be gained through the central hub of the game that you go to when you die and aren't actively running through the underworld trying to escape. there's plenty to do there too, characters to talk to will move the story along. ALSO. YOU CAN PET CERBERUS. YOU CAN PET THE DOG. have fun, enjoy the game, everything about is so well done like the music and art is PHENOMENAL, and good luck!! if you ever want gameplay tips you can always ask!!

#asks #lekha my beloved <3 /p #i love getting people into hades and giving out tips ^^#i have like. almost a thousand hours in the game. hopefully i know a thing or two that will help #i wish you all the best regardless ♡♡

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fandomfluffandfuck · 1 year ago

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i know imagining animatics/fanvids set to songs is a time-tested fandom tradition, and i vaguely remember that you talked about having playlists dedicated to characters, so i wanted to ask: do you have any songs in particular that inspires you to translate it into a different medium? (not necessarily for fic purposes)

like for example i recently listened to gravity by john mayer (the lyrics is so stucky-coded, which you know, ouch) and i'm vividly imagining making a stopmotion thing with paperdolls that have movable joints flat on the table, a snowy sky as the background, the bucky doll falling in slow motion (as the background streaks red) while we see the form of a chair slowly becoming visible at the bottom of the screen... and then it switches to a parallel scene where the steve doll's falling with the pieces of the triskelion floating in midair. then as he crashes into the river we see the bottom of it is the waterlogged version of the room he wakes up in the future, and as he lands on the bed it freezes him ❄ the frost spreads and spreads, until it reaches the other doll being held in its own cold prison, serving as a tomb where he slumbers ❄

...wish i knew how to outline things properly and break tasks down into manageable chunks lol, but it is very fun to think about making art! (but actually following thru ambitious projects is 😭)

I think you'll enjoy this post

Also, this post

I 👏🏻 LOVE 👏🏻 THIS 👏🏻 QUESTION 👏🏻

As far as imagining fics based on songs, you can very much see that I do that to some degree with the amount of fics I have that use song lyrics as titles, lol. But when that happens, it's not so much about hearing a song and then coming up with a fic concept based on the song, usually, I have the fic written, then a song comes on shuffle and I go Oh! Oh, This Is The Exact Vibe! This Song Has To Be The Title Now!

Your idea for the John Mayer song sounds beautiful and haunting, by the way! It perfectly fits that song! It would be truly, truly breathtaking. Just the idea in my imagination is breathtaking.

I have a vivid imagination, so usually when songs remind me of stucky and inspire me, I imagine fan edit type videos in my head. I don't know how to edit, though, and I have too many things going on to teach myself right now, so... they'll stay in my mind.

This got longer than I intended, lol

"What Was I Made For?" by Billie Eilish

I used to float, now I just fall down

I used to know but I'm not sure now

What I was made for

What was I made for?

Takin' a drive, I was an ideal

Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real

Just something you paid for

What was I made for?

'Cause I, I

I don't know how to feel

But I wanna try

I don't know how to feel

But someday, I might

Someday, I might

When did it end? All the enjoyment

I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend

It's not what he's made for

What was I made for?

That song vividly, vividly shows me Steve--Steve before he encounters the Winter Soldier and really begins to make a life for himself in the 21st century. Aimlessly wandering around Brookyln. Staring out into space. Frowning. Wringing his hands. Trying to figure out how he feels and who he is now that he's woken again to a new world. There isn't a war. There aren't any people he knows. What does he do? Who is he?

I mean...

"In Over My Head" by Grandson

When I was nine, I'd make believe

The good guy always caught the thief

The room went dark and I couldn't sleep

I was in over my head

At 15, I would look around

And all my friends had it figured out

They all thought it, but they never said out loud

I was in over my head

Oh, I feel this vertigo

Sick of being an optimist

I'm trying, I'm trying

But I'm in over my head

I'm in over my head

...

I thought I'd make change happen overnight

I was 20, thought I had a good hold on life

Didn't know it at the time, I was not alright

I was in over my head

Now I'm pretty sure at 26

That it isn't gonna be some little fix

The game wasn't rigged by accident

I'm in over my head

This is another Steve song. I hear this song and I see an edit showing us Steve from the playground, squaring up with bullies twice his size, Steve as a teenager, getting in trouble with Sarah, giving her gray hairs, Steve as a young adult, getting in fights in alleys, enlisting illegally, Steve in the military, standing up to his superiors, then Steve post-serum, post-war, entangled in his Captain America suit--watching the news after a mission, wading through the scene of a protest, frowning at his phone, opened to angry discussions on social media... he doesn't know what to do. He feels paralyzed.

(Also, "Left Behind" by Grandson also gives me MAJOR Steve vibes. He's stubborn. He cares so deeply about topics. All of that. I see Steve getting angry in that song, I see Steve crying with that song. <3)

"Black Vultures" by Halestorm

Black vultures circling the sky

Feels like the end of the world

But it's only the beginning of it all

Forget the things that you've heard

Been a survivor since I began to crawl

I'm falling down but I'm not out

The devils at my door

I don't give in, I don't give up

I won't ever let it break me

I'm on fire, I'm a fighter

I'll forever be the last one standing

Black vultures circling the sky

Pick at the pieces

Scavengers wait for me to die

But I'm not defeated

I'm on the edge of the war

I'm holding on and hanging by a thread

I am the eye of the storm

And you haven't seen the last of me just yet

This feeds my brain the idea of Bucky lying on his back on the ground, in the middle of fucking nowhere, a meadow that's muted and dulled. The sky is overcast. There are vultures and ravens flying overhead, circling, but also perched in trees at the outside of the meadow. He's exhausted. Worn thing. Greasy. Gritty. Bloody. He gets up, turning over to crawl, and eventually finds the strength to walk. To stagger. It cuts to black. And then there's a montage of destruction in the most beautiful way as he tears through HYDRA bases. Ending them.

"Devil In Me" by Halsey

I don't wanna wake it up

The devil in me

Gotta wake up, gotta wake up

Gotta wake up, come back to life

This is simple. At least, it feels that way to me, lol. It's purely Bucky. I see Bucky screaming, sweating, hair amess, after having a bad night, coming too close to horrifying memories through dreams, and trashing their [Steve's and his] bedroom. Thrusting the nightstand onto its side. Cracking the lamp. Ripping the sheets. Needing to do something. Squeezing his fists.

Finally, finally sinking down in the corner of the room to sob. Hands to his head, trembling. He sits there for who knows how long before Steve comes in and holds him. He tells him it's okay again and again and again. It is. They can replace everything. Sometimes you just need to get it out.

"Guilty (For Your Love)" by YONKA

You tripped on love, you got cut, you were bleeding

I carried you through the night, an emergency

I want to inhale your disease

I would do anything for you, I am guilty

I get goosebumps when you're near me

You're just like the movies

I am guilty for your love

...

I had monsters in my bedroom 'til you came along

You scared them off and kissed my head

Told me that they've all gone

You taught me how to stand up to my demons, that's real love

You been messed around so much, you forgot how to trust

Had the wool pulled over your eyes, but I ripped it off

I'm the pill you needed when you thought that you were all done

This is one million percent stucky in my head. I see so much with this song. I see them in war times, I see Steve getting up in a commanding officers face, throwing his own queerness in their face when the officer comes to deliver Bucky his blue slip. Yelling. Eyes lit with a challenge. They won't discharge Captain America. They couldn't. I see Bucky throwing himself in front of Steve. Blocking him from fire, from bullets, from danger and absolute death with his body. I see Steve taking the stand in Bucky's defense against the United Nations Court. They will only convict Bucky if it's over his dead body. I see Steve and Bucky lying in bed, sheets tangled, Steve's fingers tracing Bucky's jaw, his sharp cheekbones... yeah.

"Are You Really Okay?" by Sleep Token

Are you really okay?

You woke me up one night

Dripping crimson on the carpet

I saw it in your eyes

Cutting deeper than the scars could run

And don't you know

I can see it in you even now

And don't you know

I want to help you but I don't know how

And are you really okay? Yeah, yeah

Are you really okay?

And I, I cannot fix your wounds this time

But I, I don't believe you when you tell me you are fine

Please don't hurt yourself again

Just please don't hurt yourself again, oh

This song, depending on the mood I'm in when it comes on, flips back and forth between coming from Bucky's point of view, about Steve, or Steve's point of view about Bucky.

It's mostly the same either way, I see Bucky or Steve filling the role of the narrator in the song--waking up to see their partner bleeding, shaking, incoherent, and hurting. They're dazed. So hurt that they have a thousand yard stare and can't totally focus. The rest of the night is spent on the balcony of their apartment. Smoking a cigarette despite supposedly having quit, sharing it between them silently. When they slide back into bed at dawn, they're wrapped up so entirely in each other.

I hope you enjoyed my rambles, lol

#asks #Spotify #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #au #fandomfluffandfuck

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