#always a joy to doof around with

[myvalsletter]

" 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 " ⋆⋆⋆

ʬʬ. 𝚔𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚊𝚖𝚒 x introvert!worker!reader ( i.e golden retriever & black cat trope )

𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: you're a very quiet one, it piques his interest but he can't seem to find a way to be your friend.

Imagine being ranked as Japan's number two hero. Fans, left and right, paparazzi everywhere, everyone wanting to be your friend. Of course, it's a wealthy life as well. Keigo knows his way around - he's fast, charming and observant.

Which is why you had caught his eye.

He recently hired you and you worked in his agency for about a week, normally you'd be friends and chill with him by now - but you were still in your own bubble. Hawks could mind his business, but what's a bit of fun going to do? He's friends with everyone in his line of work so why not?

"Hey (L/n)!" He cheers approaching your figure, your station in the corner away from everyone else. "Hm?" You hum in acknowledgement turning to look up at the boss.

"Wanna go out with a few peers of mine? We could go during lunch break!" He took the empty office chair beside yours and plopped onto it, childishly spinning around for a moment.

You stare at him, deciding. He knows that look of yours, he may act foolish but his eyes are as clear as a hawk; you'd turn him down unless he does something about it.

"May I know the purpose of this outing..?" You finally spoke, in which Hawks responds with an enthusiastic thumbs up. "You know how important bonding with my co-workers is! Come on (L/n) it's been a week you're always working!" He whines a little spinning on the office chair.

"Bonding..?" He chuckles to himself when you tilted your head.

"Yes! You can invite your friends too ya know? The more the merrier!"

He says so hopefully, no offense though he knew you would decline. He doesn't know why, but he's determined to know about his workers' lives. Yes, every single one of them.

"I'm afraid I'll have to decline Sir, if the purpose of this outing is fun and bonding, I'd rather not-"

"Pretty please?" He pushes, hoping you'd accept his offer. You sighed seeing he puckered his lips. "Okay." He internally cheers with joy in response to your answer.

--------

"(L/n)? You actually came!" One of your co-workers bounces up and down happily on discovery of your arrival. Shes a clingy one, she ran over and hugged your side relieved by your presence.

"Sir Hawks persisted, he said it was important so I came." She only sighed, "Oh you silly fellow... Always professional and serious.. loosen up will you?" She nudges your shoulder playfully.

"I'll try." Everyone who came for the hangout sweat dropped. Thankfully and finally, Hawks arrives.

"Greetings my sweets!" The vermillion winged man carries a few bags, same with a few of his feathers. "I've bought some gifts for my favorite minions!" They all gasp with joy, ripping the stapled bags open and seeing all of their likes, favorites and other things that went along with their hobbies.

You didn't open yours immediately, not wanting to. But out of respect, you decided to do so.

"I'm sorry (L/n).. I didn't know what to get you.." he says, worriedly watching you look inside the gift bag and pull out a simple purse.

Surprisingly, it was your style and color palette, it even matched the outfit you wore right now.

"Thank you, it's beautiful." You flashed him a small smile, bending a bit to give a small bow to which he quickly stops you with his feathers. "Oh you doof! Stop being so formal you're making me embarrassed!" He playfully jokes to which the others snicker.

"Guys come on I'm hungry!" One of your co-workers whine, looping an arm around your shoulder and the other girl's. She laughs; "Calm your appetite! We don't want you eating our clothes!"

--------

This whole time, he was watching you.

He was observing how you'd react, how you'd respond and how you would compose yourself. Yes, he is studying you. Hawks rested his cheek on his hand, staring at you with a calm expression on his face.

The hangout was indeed a success, he learnt something small- or maybe major about you.

You like being praised, appreciated and shown affection to.

No- you don't like it- from how the corner of your lips reacted it seemed as if you love it.

Hawks noticed this when you were taken aback by their sudden display of appreciation. They were thanking you for your hard work, being a helpful hand even though you were new.

And one more important thing, you lean to their touch. Like a magnet.

He thinks to himself, you're touch starved - was the first conclusion in his mind. But he has to confirm that suspicion first before jumping into anymore conclusions.

--------

In the next day, you both stayed in late at the agency, working on a report. He definitely did not purposely wait to finish this one and act clueless so he decided to call for your help. "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you." Hawks whispers, hugging a random pillow he grabbed from the couch.

"No worries, I'm happy to help." His eyes narrow, a small smile crept on his face. 'So diligent.' ; a comforting silence engulfs the large office, just the sound of fingers tapping away on the keyboard along with the scratch of a pen's ink on a paper.

He decides to be bold - breaking the silence.

"If I'm being honest, I want to know you better." Hawks says, but you don't pause your work to look at him. You only glanced at him for a moment, "Elaborate?" His eyes narrowed -

"Not gonna lie, I always have the need to know about my workers' lives. How they act, their personalities, likes and dislikes.." he trails off his gaze landing unto the ceiling. "I can't seem to know what you like, other than being a perfectionist it seems." He jokes.

"I'm sorry, I just want to be a good worker." You set the laptop aside on the couch and turn to look at him, "But for your sake, I want you to stop. I don't want you to waste your time on me, I'm very boring." You bluntly state, your fingers playing with the purse he had gifted you.

"I don't believe you." He suddenly says, giving you a thumbs down. "Everyone is different - like their fingerprints, there's always something unique."

You fall silent.

"I don't know you as much- but I feel like you're yearning for something.." he vocalises his 'small' suspicion, squinting his eyes and pouting his lips a little, a finger on his chin.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about."

"You're an introvert okay- but somethings up. Just now with that little edgy quote of yours? I think there's something wrong." You only tilt your head out of confusion.

"It feels weird to hear the word boring when describing someone!" He ruffled his own hair.

"No offense Sir, you won't really notice when you're one of the beings on top of the world." You had him speechless for a moment, and finally it kicked in;

"Boss! I'm so sorry! I got carried awa-" he suddenly cuts you off - with a roaring laughter.

"Pfft! I didn't expect that from you!" He roughly nudged your side with his shoulder playfully with a cheeky smile. "But if we're being serious- I'm pretty sure no one here thinks you're boring when you're literally carrying the agency on your back?" He says with sass.

"I'm-" "-only doing my job. Right?" He giggles when the corner of your lips twitched. This time, it was just comfortable silence, you and him. He couldn't help but stare at you, taking in the way the moonlight emphasizes your features.

"I like to talk."

Hawks halted in his tracks, raising an eyebrow; "What? You wanted to know about me." He blinked, "Sorry- I just didn't expect that.." he awkwardly says.

"I just didn't have the right friends. That's all I'll give you." You finish, picking up your things on the coffee table and shoving them in your work bag, handling it roughly but when it came to the purse-

He observed the way you handle it with tender care, as if it was a glass ornament, wearing it carefully but swiftly.

"I will be taking my leave, I've already completed the report." You bow lightly before stepping out the door, not looking back.

Now it was just Hawks; and Keigo Takami. You're a puzzle, but he was a mystery. With A sharp intellect like his, he can break you down easily.

You didn't seem to be boring, his intuition is sharp, accurate and clear. You might have not had the support you needed all those years ago- when you were young. But he's ready to make you open up, and maybe even teach you how to love again, to let someone into your heart again.

[arlechinav-blog]

(Bes, Egyptian god of goofy dances & protection. Never underestimate the apotropaic power of being a dancing doof.)

Trancework: Learning About Magic Floppy Time

Trancing is a natural physiological response to repetitive actions. Whenever you fall into a familiar task (such as reading, driving, or certain physical chores), your brain will automatically reduce energy expenditure which results in “trancing.” Trancing is the brain’s way of conserving energy by tuning out excess stimuli. The rest of the world will seem to disappear and you may feel like you have lost time.

The phrase, “I could do that in my sleep,” is a pretty good descriptor for physical tasks that make you trance.  Trancing is a thing that you have probably done naturally without ever studying it. It is easier to do than whistling or snapping your fingers, which are learned behaviors. All you need for trance to occur is to settle into a familiar task with a hypnotic beat. This is why the number one trance experience people have reported to me is always driving in the rain. All the right ingredients are right there, it is practically inevitable. 

While trancing is a natural, unlearned physiological response, there is still a lot to learn about it. You can experiment with it--and many of you already have--to take it further. Because it is an automatic physiological and neurological response, all cultures that have a trance tradition do it within the same spectrum of ways. Percussion, chant, and movement are the core basics to reproducing the response and you can even train yourself to do it OR train yourself to control when you do it. 

A beginner’s first challenge is to get into an altered state on purpose and then to do it reliably. After a few months of doing it regularly, purposeful trance becomes as easy and unintentional as breathing. Then the real fun can begin. 

Trance Dancing

I often refer to trance dancing as magic floppy time (similarly, I will refer to making trance music as magic boom-boom). This is to reinforce the idea that this is supposed to be fun and relaxing. It can be really intense stuff but joy is what carries you through it, what sustains it.

Trance dancing goes beyond the sort of trance you can induce by driving in your car on a rainy day or getting lost in a good book and there is a physiological reason for that. The movements associated with traditional Mediterranean dances all involve disruption of the body’s equilibrium which causes dizziness. Adding constant motion that disrupts your body’s equilibrium to a basic trance will induce a deeper trance--one that is not so easy to break or snap out of. It will also cause a lingering after effect with prolonged activity. One that I refer to as trance drunkenness. 

Elevation changes, turning the head from side to side, spinning in circles, rocking back and forth, jumping up and down--these are all examples of movements that induce and hold a deeper altered state. Set to a good rhythm, of course.

Because it is a strenuous physical activity, there are certain ways of handling a trance dance in progress and for ending one safely. The dance is desirable because it helps facilitate the altered state in a fantastic way but if the dancer isn’t being guided by someone who knows what they are doing, it can be a rough experience. Even potentially injurious. So even though anyone can trance naturally, once these things enter into the neighborhood of coordinated effort, it is better to learn how to do it responsibly and safely.

First of all, clear your trance space. Remove all sharps, breakables, and anything you wouldn't want to whack into while dancing around wildly. This includes candles, folks. I know that in certain circles the idea of doing any kind of ritual activity without burning candles is positively blasphemous but I promise it is the way to go--especially if you are experimenting with this alone. Which, you should try to have a buddy with you, watching over your safety anyway but I know you are going to do what you are going to do. Just be careful and think ahead.

Secondly, set out a rug or a gym mat that will constitute your trance space. I don't recommend using a yoga mat or a blanket because those can get tangled up as you move around. It should be something that isn't going to move that you can feel with your other senses. This is your happy trance zone. Take some time to move around on it with your eyes closed, just familiarizing yourself with the boundary and getting comfortable with it. Feel the edge with your foot. Tape the edge down if you can. If you are using a rug, wear socks and something that covers your knees to prevent rug burns on the tops of your feet and knees. (Ask me how I know! *sob*)

Now, right before you pop some good magic boom-boom music on, take a minute to do some fun visualization. Everything off the rug is now lava. Yep. Lava. If you step off that rug, you fall in the lava. Once that music starts and until the music ends, everything off the rug is Lavatown. That rug is your safe space. Stay there. Now you should be good to have your magic floppy time.

Tips

As a word of advice, pick your trance clothing carefully. Make sure it is comfortable, covers what it needs to, and won't fall off your body without constant adjustment. Nothing will pull you out of the vibe quite like feeling your clothes going on a grand adventure without you. I have been doing this for a long time so if this ever happens to me I just wish them well and move on with life but vanity and modesty can be a hurdle so I want you to be aware of this in advance.

The other thing I would suggest is removing all jewelry--or as much as you can. Especially necklaces and rings. Those will smack you in the face, tangle in your hair, and fly off your fingers. And I know that some people feel ritually nekkid without their jewelry but I promise it will become annoying very quickly. I use henna, body paint, and embroidery to accomplish the same thing. First time I had a chunky necklace hit me in the tooth or I had to spend an hour trying to track down where my wedding ring had gone, that was it. Never again with that.

[looney-mooney]

Okay the way I combat this is typically to give each character a SUUUUPER distinctive voice or vocal pattern. As an obvious example, for Pinky and the Brain I made myself a little cheat sheet of what each of Pinky’s vocal ticks subconsciously means (Poit is sad or contemplative, Narf is happy, ETC) and sprinkled them all into his dialogue while giving him nonsensical things to say. Meanwhile, I let Brain be the intellectual megalomaniacal narcissist he is, and suddenly it’s ridiculously easy to tell who’s talking just based on what the dialogue itself is.

I do this with other characters too- since Perry the Platypus can’t talk, he’s usually the POV character who communicates with the audience via actions, body language, and internal dialogue, while Doof communicates through his endless rambling streams of external dialogue. Gibson has a lot of anxiety and pushes forward the veneer of being an intellectual (including his ridiculous British accent), while Otto doesn’t care what people think about him because he knows he’s good at what he does, and is therefore much more whimsical and easygoing. Zim is narcissistic and prone to declarative statements like “I am ZIM” or “FOOLISH (adjective/noun)” and communicates rather directly even when he’s hiding something, while Dib (still being just as manic/unpredictable/almost as self-centered as Zim) is more scheming and thoughtful in his approach and will try to wheedle out the meaning/“REAL TRUTH” behind things, while Gaz doesn’t CARE about any of that and just wants to protect her personal status quo, and is willing to cause harm to make that so, and Gir is clueless to any of these social dances and just chases dopamine wherever he can find it, while still caring about the people around him more than anyone else (if for no other reason than interacting with the people around him being a source of joy).

Anyway, If I had to do this with Josh and Jayson up there, it seems like Josh is cocky, flirtatious, smooth and is always at least PRETENDING to be in control, whereas Jayson is usually the one who’s actually more aware of what the situation actually is, but is more nervous and prone to bouts of anxiety or contemplation. Josh is too confident to ask serious questions, but Jayson is the one who actually knows more because he’s always asking questions. There isn’t much to go off of for the third guy, but he seems to be the one with the braincell - the Doctor McCoy to Josh and Jayson’s Kirk and Spock, if you will.

Anywho, by doing this I don’t even need to use name tags or pronouns most of the time. And when I do use a name tag, I’ll usually have it there as part of an action. Not as an excuse to clarify who’s saying what in a slightly more natural way (although it does do that), but because I’m an animator above all else and mostly think in terms of actions.

One of the hardest parts of writing gay anything is that they (often) use the same pronouns. Balancing names and pronouns so that I'm not overusing either of them is maybe THE hardest part of writing for me, because if you use 'he' too many times in a row you'll lose track of who's doing what, but too many names is repetitive and awkward to read!

[findjennygao]

Alchemizing the hustle

Our culture glorifies hard work and those of us that are plagued with the need to make meaningful work exploit our own sanities in pursuit of that (usually dressed in the glow of a higher purpose) and in true medium is the message style, I spent a year exploiting my sanity following people who work relentlessly exploring what drives that and the costs of it. Kind of like being a therapist for five people but you have a camera. I always need to mine for personal learnings from shit like this and they were one, it pays to examine why you have your relationship with work and two, learn for yourself what brings you joy. There is nothing I love more in this life than bouncing ideas and thoughts off another person and suddenly finding you have created this invisible shared world. Human nature is endlessly fascinating and I love observing all the funky corners of our mind. Second to that is decorating it all with visuals and sound. But sometimes, when you love, you obsess, and your obsession has costs.

The costs are invisible. Not being there for Ella as much as I could have while she recovered from the accident that nearly killed us. Not sticking around with my family after our dinners because there were notes waiting to be made. Going from Petra’s birthday party straight back to the laptop. Not being able to navigate a breakup with the emotional maturity I know I’m capable of. Not being able to give my body the rest it craves when it’s about to get its period. Not being able to let my mind settle enough to be able to tune into my intuition. Not being able to properly deepen new friendships until the summer. Why do we always have to wait for summer? The scheduled time for us to recover, just to do it all over again. I hung out with my 19 yo cousin this week. Why do you ask me such hard questions, Jenny? They asked. I dunno. It’s all I know how to do now. I don’t know how to be cool and sit and listen to your vinyl watching your lava lamp with you without deeply wanting to get to know you, because I have not had time and I am playing mad catch up. 

And I just feel like that isn’t the way we were designed to live. 

In true reflective design, I find myself knowing empathetic people who deeply care a lot and seek purpose in their work. This often makes them martyrs, disconnecting them from what to us is air. Community. Deep friendship. Rest. Play. Love, and time to figure out love. Themselves. Their feelings.

Unfortunately, because I’m plagued by the need to create, I can feel the next thing form. Its symbols yell at me in people and on the street and its themes are what I notice in every recent lived experience. It is about my friend, it is about my community, it is about me, it is what I deeply value and feel the world needs. Deep connection to one another and both and embracing and a discernment of our feelings, especially our pain. We deserve to see our inner world properly mirrored on screen, in a visceral way, in the way that it actually feels, through music and rhythm and image, all the ways we ride or resist our emotions and perceived readings of situations and how they shapeshift. All the ways we misread each other, one interaction with its multiple misreadings. The feeling of utter loneliness at a raging party? The feeling of utter transcendence while dancing at a raging party? The shrooms kicking in at a doof and the farm transforming into a visual circus of your own subconscious? The moment you see your crush before they see you, and the moment you go into the bathroom to get yourself together? A defiance against external value metrics and a pivot into understanding and growing the inner self. To recognising your own patterns and having the ability to pull yourself out of them. But like, tonally not serious. Funny, and silly because being silly is everything.

And true to message is in the medium form, it will be made slowly. Honouring the need for deep thinking, wondering, time for rest and play, and it will have a generously phat music budget and have prod and post-pro planned intentionally to its needs and its artist’s needs. The loftiest of ideals are important to set because you can only negotiate down. The network’s a higher power than I, running on gears that one annoyed artist is a candle in the wind to, so I will not expect to light a fire. Until the next thing gets greenlit, I’ll simply work as a gardener to cover the bills and spend the rest of my time playing.

[chanceofwhat]

Just hit Don’t Even Blink / Chez Platypus.

Doof, no, the invisibility ray was stupid. And you’re gonna hit the Girl Scouts fireside girls with it instead of yourself? So you don’t have to look at them instead of them just leaving because you’re not home?

“LOOK AT YOU YOU’RE JUST A BOTTOM”

that’s so iconic doof but Perry is NOT the bottom of the two of you.

Also the level of coincidence in this episode is even more than usual. It’s incredible. Watching Candace thrust in the driveway as Phineas shouts “it’s gone! It’s back! It’s gone! It’s back! Is one of the great joys of life.

Why does Ferb know quantum theory?????

Also “watching and waiting” is one of my favorite songs by a long shot.

Also also, why does Buford always carry a velvet rope? I mean, I know he has molds of everyone, but… okay, I guess he’s just weird.

Doof’s incredible definitely-intentional door trap, and Perry walking around with a door attached to his foot.

And he wants to eliminate the feeling of love?? Oh you poor sweet darling.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ BRIBED BUFORD AND I JUST—

And then he has the WEIRDEST VIBE FIRST DATE IVE EVER SEEN. She’s NEGGING him. BRUH.

“Y’know, I don’t even put evil on my profile anymore because it attracts so many weirdos.”

“ExCUSE me young man, I’d like to buy your restaurant!”

And oh, Evil Love is so adorable. Cutest song ever. And the woman’s voice contrasted with Doof’s is incredible. Gorgeous.

I have a cold and I’m miserable so I’m rewatching my favorite childhood show, Phineas and Fuckin’ Ferb.

I’m low key live-blogging to my bff so I might as well put some here. I started at season 2 because that’s what google says is the best season and I think it’s right.

- Doofenshmirtz has so much trauma and OWCA agents are therapists. He just sits there and eats wings with Perry and talks about how sad he is that he can’t come up with anything evil, then in the aglets episode Perry gives him the delete button to get rid of the embarrassing video, and when the evil plan doesn’t work he comes right back to Perry and says “I have an ouchie… in here” pointing to his HEART IM GONNA CRY DOOOOOOF

- Perry the Platypus makes that little sound intentionally. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a sound. Like when I hum at people. It has no translatable meaning, just tone.

- Candace is so stubborn. But she does love her brothers. She gets so mad about the aglets thing, but with Nessy Nosie, she looks at her brother’s puppy eyes and immediately agrees to throw away the evidence she wanted. Then she meets the ACTUAL MYTHICAL MONSTER and doesn’t even care, is just stubborn about it.

- “HAHAHA, IT WORKED! Your miracle growth elixir has turned you into GIANT NERDS!”

- I do enjoy the flawless girl thing. Beauty/cosmetic thing with a whole bunch of cosmetics to make insecure teenagers feel the need to buy a whole bunch of products to look “perfect” but it’s very hyperbolized so it’s clearly visible to be bad, and I’m sensing a moral about that as well. Heck yea. As I’m typing, we’re reaching the end of the episode and yea, “you both make money off of people’s natural insecurities!” Good moral.

- “Oh, that’s our sister… our -chuckles- Big sister.” (She drank the growth elixir)

- (she shrinks back while approaching her mom) “I’m back to normal!” “Normal being a… relative term.”

- why are Baljeets parents so… the way they are. I feel so bad for Baljeet. He’s got that Smart Kid Pressure ™ and can’t escape from it. Except in that one episode… but I haven’t gotten there yet.

- “oh my gosh, the square root of soon… is never.”

- “doofenshmirtz 🎶quality 🎵bratwurst”

- “Make this fish put me down!” “It’s a mammal, Candace!”

- “Your hot dog is no match… for my BRATWURST!” (No but the way Perry just keeps a hot dog in his hat that he summoned like a wizard summons a broom) (the way they’re swordfighting and Doof just takes a bite of Perry’s blade)

-Ferb is so autism

- “You know what they say: if you love something, set it free.” “We do that every day with Perry— oh, there you are, Perry!”