#although it's babymaking sex again

[hazbincalifornia]

How would the AU Blitzos react to each others lives?

(Note: By 'switch' I mean 'switch at the point of change', so if somebody wanted to switch with Arrangement it would be at like 12, not at their adult ages. Putting under cut because Long.)

Circus: He's shocked that the others knew Stolas as kids, both because of the age gap they have in that au and the fact that they didn't get in contact for over two decades after that day. Although he's very curious what things would have been like for him if they hadn't met when they did, he's overall pretty happy with how things worked out for him.

The others are... mixed. He would seem less independent to them since he only ever had the one 'real' relationship and got knocked up at 18, but if they meet when he's a bit older, he actually does work on his own and it's self-sustaining after getting some funds to start up his own circus, so he's not completely dependent on Stolas or anything. Also getting to (possibly? we'll see) keep Barbie, Fizz, and Mom... yeah. It's definitely mixed. (Especially if they find out about the captive thing.)

Arrangement: Mostly bafflement, and a weird mix of jealousy and appreciation about how things worked out for him. The idea of Stolas not being a real part of his life until they're way older so he got to live his own life- but it got fucked up several times- and he didn't have kids until he was in his thirties... yeah, although he wishes things could have been less messy in his teen years, he's happy with his lot too.

The others are really shocked about the idea of being essentially married to Stolas in all but name since they were like eleven and the idea of essentially being trained to be a babymaker, and Stellaluna seems stressed in a different way than in their worlds/is being pressed into a more 'princess-y' mold, so they'd probably pass on the chance to switch too. Circus and him would get along pretty well, and Arrangement asks Circus for sex tips since they're the ones closest in age and Circus fucked people before Stolas so he's got more experience.

Chained Mates: Finding out that the others conceived by consensual sex with normal if well-endowed dude was probably a rough revelation for the poor guy. The others can tell how much of a horrorshow his world was, at least at first, and offer some sympathy. I mentioned it before, but he probably gets along with the Mammon-based aus pretty well.

Nobody would want to be in his shoes, even if he's at the point where he accepted it and Stolas's curse has been broken. Would probably switch places with somebody if it was an option to rewind time.

Lust Ring: Not the slightest bit bitter that the others 'made it' in some way and he was literally purchased, no sir. Surprises the others that he has no idea who M+M and Loona are, but probably decides he'll find a way to find his Loona at least. Figures if he ends up in Stolas in a bunch of other universes this will probably work out.

Once again, the others probably wouldn't trade places with him, but he eventually decides he wouldn't have wanted to change anything anyway. Ends up a sort of father figure to Circus and Arrangement but also someone they'd have sex with to get hands-on tips for.

Fitzo Kid: Really surprised that so many of them have Stolas's kid first and nobody else had an oops baby with Fizz. Kind of jealous that so many didn't deal with years of unrest as parents since it made everything feel all the worse as opposed to dealing with it by 'himself' since he had Sunny to deal with and try to not fuck up.

His existence shocks everybody else at first, but thinking about it for a minute, gets an 'oooh yeah that makes sense that happened at least once' sort of reaction. They're all also very surprised he ends up, not only in a polyam relationship, but one that includes Ozzie. Nobody would switch with him, and he doesn't want to lose Sunny so he wouldn't either.

Mammon Kid/Breeder: Both would switch places with the others (Circus especially) in a heartbeat since shit's kiiiiiinda fucked with both of them. Everybody is jealous that they got to fuck Mammon for about .5 seconds before it becomes obvious why that was Not A Good Thing.

Doll: He's just like 'the fuck do you mean you all had a healthy relationship instead of codependent possessiveness?'. Rock paper scissors over if him or CM had it objectively worse when it comes to being fucked by a monster eight times your size that comes around pretty fast or being turned into essentially a living doll for years with no real autonomy, even if both of them love you with clingy desperation.**

[jimlingss]

I love you. I love your work. That's it. I'm binge reading your fics. But I really had this dream that taehyung was trying to seduce me at work and I refused to give in because I'm professional. I went home and cried for rejecting him. Please write a fic about this for me. Why do I never get the guy even my dreams 😭 I'm a loser.

LMAO this is hilarious. I actually had a dream similarly like this too. I’ve always wanted to go to a fortune teller but the me in my dream was also a cheapskate and ended up not going ahahhaa so I feel you, anon. Hopefully this drabble can grant your dreams.

↳ The Office Trip to Pound Town

2.5k || 70% Smut, 30% Fluff || Kim Taehyung

You’re neck deep in work.

Your hands flurry across the keyboard before you’re saving the document and grabbing your pen to look over the Jeon’s contract that needs to be prepared by tomorrow. There’s barely a moment to breathe, much less look up when there’s a quiet knock at the door and it opens.

“Go ahead with lunch, Wendy. I’ll eat after I finish this.”

“She already left,” a deeper, huskier voice says and your eyes finally flicker up.

Taehyung enters, shutting the door behind him. He’s without his blazer, simply in a white dress shirt tucked into his slacks that you remember you picked out for him a few months ago. His blonde hair is styled so half of it is pushed back to reveal his arched brow and the other half falls in front of his forehead to frame his face. It should be illegal to look this good, but you’re not complaining. It’s always nice to have eye candy around the office. It cures your fatigue. 

You smile at him, putting your pen down. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d visit. We’re supposed to be on our lunch break, you know. But of course, you’re always hard at work.”

“How else are the bills going to be paid? Unlike someone, I can’t just dilly-dally.”

Taehyung grins and comes behind you. You learn forward in your office chair, already knowing what he’s about to do. And the moment, Taehyung’s hands lay on your shoulders, a sigh escapes your parted lips. His thumbs dig into a particularly sore muscle, but he massages it out within seconds. You hate how easy it is to melt into his touch. 

“Hey, I work hard too.”

You hum. “Not hard enough. I’m coming for your job, Kim. I’m going to get promoted to director of the department and you’ll get demoted to just being the manager.”

Taehyung scoffs. “I’d like to see you try, Mrs. Kim.” 

He digs harder into another sore spot and you jolt with a pained moan. You pull away from him and turn your head around. “Was there something you wanted to talk about?”

Suddenly, he licks his lips and your eyes flicker to the movement. Taehyung’s voice drops an octave — it’s never good when that happens since he knows what that does to you. “Do you know what today is?”

Your eyes are rounded. You quickly scour your mind, but come up empty. “What is it?”

He sighs and starts to roll up his sleeves to his elbows, showing all forearms and the popped veins spiraling up his arms. “I’m disappointed,” Taehyung says in a husky tone. “But then again, I’ve always been the one to pay attention to the details. It’s the first day of your fertile window.”

“Oh. Okay.”

The two of you stare at one another. 

He stares at you. You stare at him.

“No. Taehyung, no.”

His mouth starts to twitch and it slowly quirks into a smile. “Come on.”

“It’s unprofessional!”

God fucking dammit. He’s giving you bedroom eyes. And it hits you that the top button of his dress shirt is popped open. Oh god. He came in here just to seduce you, didn’t he?!

“Don’t you want this baby?”

“Yeah, but last time I checked, we have a perfectly good bed at home. King size actually, thanks to someone’s instance.”

“I’m working a late night tonight.” Taehyung comes closer, crowding you with his larger frame and you move back until the office chair can’t even wobble and your side is trapped at your desk. “We can’t waste any more time.”

“Taehyung,” you say his name in a scolding voice, but it’s already weakening by the second. He knows it too.

“You’re not going to make me beg for you, right?” he asks, caging you in with his arms. One of his hands curls around the chair’s armrest and the other is gripping the edge of your desk. “Unless you want me to.” 

You swallow hard, resolve crumbling. It’s not like you don’t want to….

You look over his shoulder towards the door that’s shut and the blinds that have long been pulled since your online conference a few hours prior. A beat later, your attention is directed to him and his sly smirk. 

Taehyung whispers, “Please?”

With a sigh, you close the distance and you feel Taehyung’s massive grin as he kisses you. He leans down as your mouths are still connected and you fall back into the office chair. Taehyung looms over your frame and he tilts his head, deepening the kiss. 

His hot tongue licks into your mouth, eager and impatient. At the same time, his hands cup your jaw and he coaxes a whimper from you that’s muffled at his lips. 

You’re supposed to be the strict, no-nonsense manager on this floor overseeing the rest. It’s pathetic that you can be reduced to a school girl by your husband. Taehyung loves it and truthfully, you don’t mind so much, but if anyone else knew, they’d be shocked.

The pair of you pull away to gasp for breath. The strand of saliva between your mouths break. Your lips are swollen while his are stained with your red lipstick. 

“This is so unprofessional,” you whisper to him between pants.

Taehyung smiles sweetly, forehead pressed against yours. “A lot of people already left for their lunch break.”

“That doesn’t mean there aren't people on this floor and right outside the door.”

“That’s what makes it fun.”

“It won’t be fun if we lose our jobs.”

“Not if we get this done quickly.” He steps back and starts pulling at his belt. It clicks, unbuckling with ease and your core starts to heat in anticipation for what’s to come. Taehyung doesn’t miss the way you rub your thighs together. He smirks and then gestures to you. “As your superior, I command you to bend over.”

You scoff, but turn around anyhow to lean your front onto the desk. You wince when the papers underneath your hands start to crinkle, but it’s much too late to move them when he roughly shoves up your skirt.

“I could report you to HR for that,” you quip.

“You’d never,” he retorts with a thick voice.

He doesn’t move for a few seconds. You wonder why he hasn’t done anything, if there’s something wrong, but then it occurs to you what he’s eyeing your ass in. “Taehyung. I swear to god—”

The sound of ripping follows. 

The bastard’s torn into your black, sheer stockings.

You curse and turn your head around to glare right as he tears down your underwear. “It’s fine. No one will notice. Faster this way.” You suspect he just wants to fuck you while you’re still in stockings, bent over your own desk, but you don’t call him out on it. “I’ll buy you a new one.”

“Easy for you to say—” You yelp when your left heel is suddenly lifted off the floor. He props your bent leg on the desk and plops down into your leather office chair as if he owns it.

Before anything else can be said, Taehyung dives straight between your plump ass cheeks. He holds your hips in place, fingertips sunk into your skin as his tongue laps at your hole and he moves his face from side to side. A gasp breaks from your vocal cords and you bring one arm back to grab his hair.

“T-There’s no time, Taehyung.”

“It’s fine,” he murmurs, moving to suck a bruise into your right ass-cheek. Taehyung really gives another definition to kissing someone’s ass but rather than feeling like the superior one, you’re keening into him, crumbling at his touch. It’s turning you on how much this is turning him on, with the way he groans into your skin like he’s fully enjoying this, how he’s eager and happy to be on the giving end. 

Unintentionally, you push his face closer into your ass and his slender fingers begin to gently caress your slit. Your mouth seals to suppress another moan when his warm tongue licks at your hole again. You can feel the heat of his warm breath against your cunt, so close yet still so far. 

A minute later, he comes out panting. “Damn. This is better than any lunch.”

You roll your eyes. “It’s going to be your fault if you don’t get to finish.”

“Relax,” he sing-songs and you can practically hear his grin. “We’ll get there.”

Without much warning, Taehyung plunges his two fingers into your already wet cunt. You keen, failing to silence your whine and your back arches. You don’t see his smirk, how he’s fully enjoying the view while sitting back in the chair. He simply starts pumping his index and middle finger in and out of your heat. Taehyung stretches you out, curling his fingers at a particular spot that has you gripping the edge of your desk until your knuckles have turned white. You try your best not to make a sound, but it’s almost like he’s trying his best to get you to break and be noisy.

“Fuck,” he moans. “You’re leaking all over my pants.”

Even when he’s behind you, you can feel his intense gaze that’s watching you closely.

It feels degrading to be bent over your own desk like this. You’re practically dancing in the palm of Taehyung’s hand, giving into his every whim without being able to control yourself. But at the same time, all of this, the thought of him claiming your spot and taking you right here was turning you on. You don’t want to admit that you’re enjoying this as much as he is.

“T-Taehyung,” you gasp, cheek pressed to your paperwork. 

He chuckles lowly. “Alright, alright.”

He pulls his two fingers out of your sopping cunt and sucks on them till they're clean. Then Taehyung stands and lowers his pants just enough to remove his hard cock from his boxers. He pumps it twice and positions the red, leaking head to your swollen entrance.

You’re about to ask him what’s taking so long, but you choke on your words when he enters you with a single push of his hips. Your cunt stretches to accommodate Taehyung’s big cock that’s practically nudging at the entrance of your cervix. Your fingernails curl into the edge of your desk while you fail to stifle the whine that comes out, even when your teeth have sunk into the bottom of your lip.

“S-Sorry,” he groans. “Couldn’t help it. Don’t want to run out of time. Already at twelve forty.”

You turn your head around. “What?!” 

But there’s no opportunity to react more. Not when Taehyung grabs your hips, eagerly fucking into you. Like a man on a mission, like he’s making sure he’ll get you pregnant no matter what. He withdraws his cock and then plunges as deep as he can inside your tight cunt, his hips slamming against your ass. Taehyung bends your leg to get at an even deeper angle and you turn back around, trying your best to keep in your moans and quiet the whines of his name. 

The urgency of time presses on your minds, but it also fades with the onslaught of pleasure. All the papers underneath you are sure to be crumpled beyond belief, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. 

The pens and pencils fall over to the carpet. Your eyes sting. He’s filling you up so well.

“F-Fuck, this is so hot,” Taehyung groans, watching his cock disappear inside of you with each rapid jut of his hips. How you’re trying to still hold yourself together. The way your stockings have been torn and his underwear and yours are barely pushed away. “You’re so hot.”

“Hurry, Tae!”

He hums and you start to squeeze around him. Taehyung’s hips sputter. His pace falters before quickening urgently and impatiently. “W-Wait, wait.”

Taehyung licks his thumb and finds your clit with ease. You gasp as he rubs circles on the swollen bit and your toes curl. “Tae, Tae—” You’re afraid you’re being too loud, but the concern is overridden when you cum. There’s white flashing beneath your eyelids, a wash of pleasure that renders your knees weak.

Taehyung follows a few seconds later. He plunges in as deep as he can go with brute force and a pitched cry leaves your throat, making him slap his hand over your mouth to keep quiet. 

The picture frame of you and Taehyung in Malta on your honeymoon is knocked off. 

And then cum paints your velvet, warm walls. It fills your cunt, leaking past his cock. Taehyung pants on top of you and thrusts twice more in spite of your oversensitivity and his own. He holds you still for an intimate moment as you both catch your breaths. Then, he withdraws.

You shakingly get up as he tucks himself back in, buckling his belt again after he snags it off the ground. You try to fix the mess of your hair and he grins, cheeks flushed. Taehyung comes close and his thumb lifts to wipe the smudged mascara at the corner of your eye.

He can’t hold in his smile and giddily hugs you. His face affectionately nuzzles into your hair while you wonder if he knows that his cum is still leaking out of you and dripping down your thigh. 

Sometimes the duality of Taehyung is jarring. You wonder how this can be the same man who just bent you over your own desk and pounded into you until there were tears in your eyes. But you suppose that’s what makes him so charming and why you married him. One second, he’s throwing you over his shoulder and spanking you till you call him daddy and the next, he’s pouting and begging you to call his dad for him because he just stubbed his toe against the door and it hurts and he needs advice on what to do.

“Sorry about the ripped stockings.”

“Uh-huh. You better buy me new ones.”

“I will.”

The pair of you pull apart and he pulls a tissue for you to wipe yourself with as you sit down and peel off the stockings once and for all to throw into the trash. If someone asks, you’ll tell them it ripped on its own.

“Well, at least that was fun, right?” Taehyung smiles as you put yourself back together.

You eye him. “What time?”

“Pardon?”

“What time are you done with the meeting?”

Taehyung blinks, not sure where you’re going with this. “Probably at eight.”

“I’ll be at your office at eight ten then,” you state plainly. “It’s only fair. I can’t be the only one having my office destroyed.”

Slowly but surely, an enormous grin spreads into his face. Taehyung leans in to kiss your cheek. “It’s a promise then.”