#although it is more of a doodle made at 10 pm

[theverse]

Coming soon...

[indominusregina]

Barista Boy

Pairing: Steve x Reader, College AU

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: none

Author’s Note: Thank you to Sarah for 1000 word Wednesdays and holding me accountable for actually writing again! 

Masterlist

Steve knew he needed to keep a job. College wasn’t inexpensive and normally he didn’t mind, but on days like today, he hated it. Waves of people would swarm the counter between classes, all desperately in need of caffeine and all in a rush, while the other 80% of the hour was slow but just busy enough to keep him from experimenting with new drink ideas. Of course, not having his friends there to taste his new concoctions didn’t help either. So instead, he scribbled little drawings onto a cup, waiting until the end of his shift to fill it with his one free drink. 

With an eye on the counter ahead and a glance around to make sure his boss wasn’t going to bust him for his behaviour, he slipped his phone out of his pocket to read the several texts you’d sent. 

15.37 Y/N/N: omg steve kill me please

15.38 Y/N/N: I don’t know how much longer I can work with these fools

15.54 Y/N/N: Steven one of them just asked the same question for the fourth time

15.54 Y/N/N: the answer is literally in the handout we got 

15.55 Y/N/N: I’m gonna put his head through a wall istg

16.10 Y/N/N: ohhhh my goddd stevie i know there’s only 20 more minutes of this before i can reasonably escape but i need to go NOW

16.12 Y/N/N: Time of death: 4.12PM

Steve glanced at the clock, noting that only 5 minutes had passed since your last text. He shook his head, a small smile on his face as he typed his response. 

4.17 PM Steefcake: Isn’t this your first meeting with this group? 

16.17 Y/N/N: ...your point?

4.18 PM Steefcake: You should give them a chance.

16.18 Y/N/N: Nope. I cannot wait for this dumbass meeting to be over so I can bolt outta here

4.20 PM Steefcake: How long is the meeting supposed to go for?

16.20 Y/N/N: First off, 420 blaze it lol

16.20 Y/N/N: secondly, it’s supposed to end at 5 but I can cut and run in 10

4.21 PM Steefcake: Tell you what. My shift ends at 5. If you can last that long, I’ll come find you at the library

16.21 Y/N/N: Oooor I could come find you before the end of your shift!

4.22 PM Steefcake: I have to study after work anyway, so it makes more sense that I meet you at the library.

16.22 Y/N/N: Ughhh fiiiiine. But it better be worth it

4.23 PM Steefcake: I’m sure I’ll think of something.

Steve grinned as he tucked his phone back into his pocket, writing your nickname on the cup between his scribbles. He attended to the next few customers who trickled in, and with ten minutes left in his shift, he started in on making your favourite drink, one he’d memorised the first time you’d ordered it from him. When Clint arrived to relieve him, your drink was ready and he snapped a to-go lid onto the cup, hastily removing his apron and throwing it into the back room. 

“Rough shift?” Clint asked, an eyebrow raised in a manner that reminded him eerily of Natasha. 

“Long day. But I also have to get studying.” Steve said, tossing his bag over one shoulder and snatching the cup off the counter. He wasn’t fast enough for Clint to have missed the name on it. 

“Sure. Study hard, Rogers.” Clint waved as Steve hurried towards the exit with a nod and a returning wave. “Oh, and Rogers?” Steve paused. “Tell Y/N I said hello.” Clint winked and Steve blushed as he moved even faster in the direction of the library. 

At exactly 5PM, you heard the sound of purpose-filled footsteps rapidly approaching your table. You turned to see who it was, although you already had a pretty good idea. “Hey!” Steve spoke quietly but with excitement and you almost rolled your eyes. No one in the library followed the rules quite like Steve Rogers. 

“Wow, Steve. Is it 5 already?” You turned to your group. “Sorry guys, I have to go. I promised to help Steve here study for an exam. You’ll have to fill me in on any other progress you guys make.” You gave them a fake smile as you shoved all of your stuff into your bag and stood swiftly, nodding to Steve. 

“Uh, yeah. Thanks again for doing this. I got you a coffee as thanks. It’s not much, but…” He shrugged and the smile on your face went from fake to genuine in an instant. You gratefully accepted it and waved goodbye to your group as Steve led you to a table on the opposite side of the library. You took a sip from your drink as you sat down and groaned. 

“Ohhh sweet nectar of the Gods. Come to Mama.” You greedily took another big gulp of it, frowning as it burned your mouth. 

“Easy there. I only just made it so it’s still pretty hot.” Steve frowned as you took yet another gulp. You locked your eyes on him with a completely serious face before you replied. 

“Fire cannot kill a dragon.” You deadpanned and gestured towards his bookbag. “Study time. Let’s go.” 

“You’re not even in this class.” Steve gave you a look of confusion as he pulled his notebook and textbook out of his bag. “The ‘helping me study’ thing was just a ruse. You know that, right?” He asked and you rolled your eyes. 

“‘Course I know that, Stevie. I’m the one who came up with it. Still, you’ll learn it better if you teach me the material, right? So teach me.” Your hands came around your coffee cup and cradled it before taking another sip. Steve’s shock wore off in only a moment and the smile that replaced it had the warmth from your hands spreading through your chest. 

You did your best to ask relevant questions as quietly as possible as Steve walked you through the material. Within an hour, you had a faint grasp of his material and he was feeling much better about his exam. Your stomach growled loudly enough to interrupt your study session and when Steve gave you a look, you shrugged. “Look, most of what I’ve had since breakfast has been coffee. Don’t judge me. I had class all through lunch.” Steve shook his head. 

“Fine. I’m packing up and then you’re coming with me to grab dinner.” Steve started closing everything up and you grinned as you added to his plans. 

“And we’re getting it to go and watching some Netflix back at my dorm?” He sighed and agreed and you beamed at him as you bolted out of your chair. You rolled the empty coffee cup around in your hands as you waited for him to pack up the rest of his things and you smiled softly at the doodles on your cup. When Steve was ready, you held the cup out, pointing at one in particular. “I think this one was the best one.” He frowned as he noticed which one. 

“I can think of at least three others on there that looked better.” He grabbed the cup from you and started to spin it to show you. 

“Well, sure. But that’s the one you had the most fun drawing.” You headed towards the exit, an awe-stricken Steve following a few steps behind. He paused just before he threw out the cup at the entrance to the library. 

“How could you tell?” He asked and you hummed, turning around to face him. He held the cup over the trash can, looking back and forth between it and you. 

“It just had the most Steve-essence in it.” You shrugged. “I dunno. I just know you, Stevie. Now come on. Dinner’s getting cold and Netflix won’t wait forever!” You cheered and turned to continue to the dining hall. Steve hesitated another moment, caught between curiosity and another feeling that made his whole body feel weightless before he threw the cup away and took large steps to catch up to you. 

“You know, I’m pretty sure they cook dinner fresh for each customer and the point of Netflix is that it could wait forever.” He teased and you knocked your shoulder into his. 

“Not the point, Steven. I’m hungry and I don’t want to wait forever.” You huffed.

No. He supposed. You wouldn’t wait forever for anything.

[writerwaage]

Entry Two 1:56 pm 10/22

It took a lot of convincing, but Jonnie finally agreed to write down their experience with The Creature. I’m taking them out for dinner tonight as a thank you. 

general content warning for horror. warning for images of a school burning down, but not graphic. if you think there needs to be a content warning for something not listed, please let me know!

Let me be clear about this. I DO NOT believe in this “Creature” Adelaide is so certain exists. I’m not trying to be a bad partner or unsupportive, it’s not like that. I just think that everything she’s told me chalks up to be nothing more than a boogeyman, a shadow children get spooked by when they know that they haven't been behaving. Hell, when I first even told Addy about this, it was during a camping trip with our other friends. I didn’t think she’d take it any more seriously than she would take a kid crying about their shadow. 

I was a kid myself when I had my “experience.” Ten years old. I was walking home from school - my house was just down the road, so don’t think it was that big of a deal. It was the dead of winter, so the sky was already starting to darken. The branches filtered the low light and casted twisting shadows along the sidewalk, covering all the drawings made by the other kids who doodled over the weekend. I enjoyed looking at all the pictures when it was earlier in the year, but the lighting and shadows made them look off, somehow. 

One drawing in particular seemed to be highlighted, or rather framed by the dark. It was a lot more sinister than the others. Below my feet was a kind of shit drawing of the school on fire. You know how young kids don’t really have the finest of control over their hands, so lines never appear straight and colors bleed out of the lines drawn for them. The oddest bit, looking back on it, was that I never could cast a shadow on the picture. The branches above me did, but not me. Just two feet away, there was a dark halo on the sidewalk where my hair would be, but the drawing was just as lit as the rest of the sidewalk. As a kid I never paid that much attention, and I hesitate bringing it up here because Addy will make it a bigger deal than it actually is. It was just a weird moment, and it could have totally been from light reflecting off something metal and showing up on the sidewalk in that particular spot.

I went straight home and didn’t give it too much thought after that. I was a kid, and it was cold. I was just happy to be home and watch cartoons while mom fixed dinner. When dad got home, we put some logs into the fireplace and I curled up against his chest as he read me part of my newest favorite book. I remember being the most comfortable there, reading by the fire. The warmth of the flame and comfort of being held by my dad is still something I look back on and remember as the best moments of my childhood. 

The next morning, I got up and it was freezing cold. Colder than most days. I was practically shivering all morning as I got ready for school, even though the heating was on and I was bundled up warm. Mom almost kept me home, thinking I was sick. But I insisted I felt fine, that I was just cold. I wish I had listened to her.

Mom walked me to school, just like she always did, taking me down the same path I took to go home. Although I wasn’t actively looking for it, the picture of the school burning down had completely disappeared. It hadn’t rained overnight, and all the others were still perfectly intact. Maybe someone had come by to wash that one off, I don’t know. People, grown-ups, probably would have found it just as creepy as I had. And with it being so close to the school… It wasn’t the best look. 

Most of the day went by without a problem. Completely average. Once it was time for my math lessons, though, I felt strangely warm. It wasn’t like it was coming from having a fever. Instead, it felt more like heat radiating toward me. I was far from the vents, and it was cold only moments earlier. I looked around, to see if anyone had felt the same things I had felt, but no one seemed anything more than just frustrated that it was time to switch to math. I tried to shrug it off, but it was distracting.

I placed the heat as the same sort that I felt when I was extra close to the fireplace, and that was what bothered me the most. I looked up from my worksheet and glanced around the room, even to my own backpack to see if something, if anything, had suddenly caught fire. Some kid even asked if the heating could go any higher. The longer I went, the more the heat became unbearable. I pushed up my sleeves, pulled my hair up off my neck, and sweat dripped down the side of my forehead.

The fire alarm began to ring, and the room went icy. I looked to my teacher, who seemed completely thrown off. This wasn’t a planned drill, apparently. He was good at keeping calm though, and had us line up, just like it was part of the day. I grabbed my coat off the back of my chair and hugged it close. It smelled like smoke.

Outside, the rest of the teachers looked just as confused and concerned as mine did. Us students kept looking back at the building, wondering what we would see, wondering if it was scheduled and no one told us, or if it were a genuine one. Smoke began to billow up from the building, filling the pale blue sky with ashy grey. My stomach sank as I remembered the drawing I had seen the afternoon before. Did someone try to attack the school? Could I have stopped it if I told someone about the picture? 

My mind was thrusted back into the moment when the sound of fire trucks came wailing in. After everything was said and done, only a few classrooms had gotten severe damage. What was odd, they said, was that a strange, goopy black had been seen down the halls, connecting the burnt rooms and the entrance, even where there wasn’t any sign of damage. My mom kept me home from school for a while, even after I was sure I was fine. The entire ordeal was ruled an accident. No one could find the source of the fire, though. No fuel, either. 

I never said anything about the drawing to anyone, excepting those friends at the campsite when we were sharing our creepy stories. I hadn’t even expected them to take it seriously, and they didn’t, though Addy could see right through it. She brought it up again that night when we were about to go to sleep, then she told her own story about the growling in her closet. I thought it was stupid to connect those two things as anything more than young people imagining things and altering the past, and I told her that. But clearly, she doesn’t agree with me here. She’s convinced that she’s on to something, something more probable than the loch ness monster or whatever monster it is people freak out about.

I never knew the full extent of Jonnie’s experience. They’ve never given this much detail when talking about it before, and I feel more certain now that these two events are connected. They mentioned something about a “black goop” that sounds similar to how I remember The Creature looking in my own experience.

 Does it leave behind parts of itself often? Or did it get injured somehow in the fire? Whatever it is, I think it wanted to warn Jonnie, or someone, about the fire. Why? And what capabilities does it have to cause physical damage? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! if you feel so inclined, please leave me a message, ask, or reply with any sort of feedback!

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Tags: @howdy-writes @ezrathings @pigeon-hold @writerofthecosmos

[undeadrobby]

I’ve been tagged by both @tyrantwaffles and @world-ruler-boo

Name: Robby

Gender: Man TM*

*some terms and conditions apply.

Star sign: Scorpio

Height: 5' 4'

Sexuality: Bi

Hogwarts house: Slytherin

Fav animal: Yes

Average hours of sleep: I’d say I average around 7 or 8, but only because it wildly varies between 3 and 12.

Current time: 10:06 pm

Dogs or cats: Yes

Number of blankets to sleep with: Two usually. I don’t know how I lived before I got a weighted blanket

Dream job: Owner of a queer cafe space where I can sell baked goods and little crafts projects

How old is this blog: too old. I have seen too much. (8 years)

Number of followers: 468... so close... so close....

Why I made this blog: Would you believe this started as an OC RP blog. I made some little doodles of an OC of mine and put them up here in character. There’s literally 3 other human beings in the whole world who know anything about this OC and one of them I haven’t spoken to in like five years so I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea

Reason for my URL: rawr I’m a zombie (but actually, after the OC RP blog didn’t take off this was briefly a Hollywood Undead bandom blog. My previous URL was this-undead-soldier ‘cause the fanbase for them self identified as the HU Army. I changed my URL here sort of recently, although my HU phase pretty much ended in high school. the ‘undead’ part stuck because I couldn’t really think of anything else to change it to, and it works well enough with my love of skeletons. You can find me in some other places as uRobby because I was trying to be more professional)

If you want to copy these questions, go for it, and say I tagged you! But I’m not gonna @ anyone

[md3artjournal]

7:19 PM 9/3/2020 It's come to my attention that although my reblog text under the cut is hidden from a post's Notes/Replies on Tumblr-desktop, it is all very visible on Tumblr-mobile/phone version.  Ugh.  So I could no longer simply reblog the referenced post, and hide all my comments under a cut.  So here are all my angsting thoughts again, after doodling this drawing, but as a separate post, for my art journal blog.  

10:42 PM 9/2/2020

I don’t even know what I'm doing anymore.  Today, I sat down to draw and I must have wasted 15+minutes, indecisive about what to draw with.  I wanted to just use one of my fountain pens, but

1) Yesterday's line bleeds proved that the Pilot Petit is just not good for my tiny doodles;

2) My only other fountain pen is my Platinum Preppy, but I should be saving that ink for writing in my habit tracker; that's what I bought it for; and it's not so easy to just buy more ink cartridges during this pandemic;

3) My fountain pens' inks are not waterproof? What if halfway through my drawing I decide I want to use half watercolors?  Again?  

So then my safest option was my Copic Gasenfude.  Impervious to water, alcohol marker ink, everything.  But my pen is so dry...  I tested it beforehand, to convince myself it was still fine.  But the test felt very different from the drawing.  During drawing, I missed the smooth flow of my fountain pens sooooooooooo much.  I should've just opened one of my new Gasenfude pens for this drawing.  But I'm too chicken about using up supplies, in general.  x_____x;;;;;;;;;  

What's with my Copic Multiliners?  Do they just bleed more on my cheap sketchbook paper?  Because I remember my lines being fuzzy on the close-up scans too.  Or am I just so out of practice drawing with them now, that all my lines end up stiffer than usual?  Or maybe they're getting dry too?  They are pretty old pens by now.  ~.~;  

*sigh* I miss my fountan pens, but I need waterproof ink for my linework.  x_x;  

I heard that Indian ink is waterproof after it dries, but all my bottles of Indian Ink dried up decades ago.  Plus, all my dip pens are rusty and don't even work with my acrylic inks that I already have.  I don't want to buy more supplies, then they turn out to not really work for me.  I've done that too much already.  ...Though I do have my eye on that Deleter trial dip pens set...and Indian ink sounds too good to be true...  But I have so many supplies lying around, I really should just find a way to use them.  Even if they turned out to not really work for how I naturally think/work, I already spent the money on them.  I should *find* a way to make them work.  I'm so simultaneously wasteful AND cheap with my art supplies! X~x!  

That's also why I want to be able to switch over to cheap $1-store/Daiso watercolors, instead of using up Copic ink on full drawings.  But if I never know when I'm going to need that mid-way medium switch, then I need waterproof/Copic-proof ink.  

Well, no matter the case, it probably wouldn't help my terrible terrible drawing too much.  I mean, today's doodle gave me problems making lines because the ink just would not flow out of my drying Gasenfude pen.  But also, I had to realize that I've become out of practice with true brushpens.  I've been using Copic Sketch and nylon nib "brushpens" all this time, thinking I've stayed in practice.  But bristle brushpens are too different, and I forgot that.  I've become horrible with brushpens, and the Gasenfude used to be my go-to.  x_______x;;;;;

Anyway, nothing about drawing today has been good for my self-esteem.  I made a horrible drawing, that wasn't even pretty, I started too high on the page and too close to yesteray's doodle, so Akira and Ryuji's heads ended up squashed on top, to fit into the page space.  I was reminded how easily I lose skill even with mediums/tools that I used to be competent at.  I proved yet again that I just can't make beautiful drawings---and maybe that's more of an issue of me not actually wanting to be good at drawing.  I didn't want to admit it, but maybe that's something I have to do.  Maybe I don't actually want to become good at drawing.  I hate studying, I can't stand brushing up on human antomy, perspective, gesture motions, all those fundamentals, and every time I force myself to, I get so frustrated, I'm horrible to myself and everyone else around me in real life.  That can't be worth scribbling a bunch of skeletons that end up ugly an reinforcing my low self-esteem anyway.  

My sister commented once that even though being an artist was hard, at least I enjoyed drawing.  At the time, I told her that I don't actually like drawing.  I told her that I liked "having had drawn".  Since then I did find that those statements weren't true.  I have found drawing cathartic, even while I was drawing.  I even felt horrible on days where I didn't get to draw.  I liked drawing.  

...I'm just REALLY REALLY REALLY bad at it, and I have no inclination to put in the hard word to make my drawing better.  But I will spend all day, comparing myself to better fan-artists online, and lamenting how I can never make anything beautiful.  x___x;;;;;;  

So I go around telling people that "I'm actually more of a sculptor than an illustrator", as if distracting to a medium that most people are less familiar with, and that is easier for people like me to make beautiful things, would do anything to help my horrible lack of drawing skills.

I remember, all the times I've tried to learn a new videogame, and I'm inclined to believe tha tmaybe I jsut don't like learning new things.  Even for games that eventually became my favorites, my comforts, my completely intuitive flow states, I was still compeltely frustrated and horrible to be around, while learning.  I shouldn't be surprised then that I don't play videogames as much anymore, even though I'm desperately reluctant to let go of my gamer identity.  But I recall the last party I was invited to, and I was wrangled into learning a new tabletop game.  I was completely against it, all throughout, during, and at every moment.  I was just waiting for it all to end.  I don't think I like games, because learning to play, leaning sets of rules, and functioning within MORE systems, must be the last thing my brain wants to do during leisure time.  I can even remember a few moments when I was obstinately inattentive or simply refusing to abide by office expectations and protocols---and I don't know why!  Why was I just _so_ exasperate and unwilling to put effort into following simple rules?  I'm beginning to I think that maybe as I get older, the less energy I have to learn things.  Which is only a theory, because even when I was younger, I didn't like playing games because I didn't want to learn rules.  Plus, I've always been "someone who loves to learn"...Just academic knowledge and inforational stuff, not games.  Games and human interaction in general, have always been too much work for me to enjoy.  So if there's any reason why I can't get myself to study illustration fundamentals, no matter how much I lament not being able to draw something beautiful (at least to warrant my making a living in artist alley!) then I have to wonder if my inexplicable disdain for learning new rules is the reason.  

I don't even know what I'm writing about.  I think I was originally just hoping that drawing with a new Gasenfude that wasn't drying, would help me draw lines more easily.  x_x;  Please ignore my venting.  

[theseadagiodays]

March 30, 2020

Kids Arts Activities through Quarantine

As BC’s spring break officially ends, I am very aware that working parents, with kids at home who now need online schooling and extra care, are extremely hard hit by the current changes.  I also realize that Adagio may not at all reflect the tempo of their lives as they juggle these new responsibilities.  What I hear from my friends in this situation is that Prestissimo Agitato (agitatedly fast) probably sums it up far better.  So, I am hoping that some of the kids’ arts activities which I list below might help give parents even a few tacet moments.  

This accelerated pace also relates to health care workers, grocery employees, and so many others who are working harder than ever during this period.  Conversely, people who have temporarily lost their jobs, aging people who were enjoying the well-earned luxury of post-career social time before the virus hit, and many others now find time spooling out before them in a sometimes overwhelming abundance.  And while I am fortunate to be able to sustain a considerable amount of my work during this unusual time, I relate more to both the challenges and privileges of being faced with increased space in my life.  In fact, I have always been aware that my choice not to have children has meant that my life’s rhythms are quite different from many of my peers.  So, I take this reality as an onus to use the extra capacity I have to contribute where I can.  And writing this blog is one way I am attempting to do that.

As I share this, I am inspired by the words of one of my favorite writers and thinkers, Rebecca Solnit, who in her Harper’s article, The Mother of All Questions, poignantly sums up the role that people who choose not to have children can play in their communities.  “There are so many things to love besides one’s offspring, so much work that love has to do in the world”.

So, for children and adults alike, I offer Lunch Doodles and Lockdown Diaries and Puppet Shows and Haiku.

At 1 pm EST, every day, Mo Willems, livestreams his Lunch Doodles classes for all to follow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmzjCPQv3y8

Or, if you want to get your hands a bit dirtier, you might try this homemade playdough recipe to make the rainbows that people are sticking to their windows all over the world to spread hope.

https://www.pre-kpages.com/rainbow-play-dough/

In Saskatoon, Wide Open Children’s Theatrehosts livestreamed storytelling and puppet shows at 10 am CST and bedtime (7 pm CST), every single day, on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/events/638733030283792/

Christchurch artist, Stephen McCarthy has created a free downloadable, Lockdown Diary, that will keep anyone busy for ages:

https://www.mylockdowndiary.com/?fbclid=IwAR0G3KgCfRfnr2FXhEIumzR2SigQB3bEYXfOu1m9m0g8tqL2RnQPoprJL2w

The New York Times has created a digital coloring book with a truly timely image.  You can play with their online pen or print it out and do it old-school analog style.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/03/23/opinion/covid-coloring-activity.html

And finally, if you want to distill your feelings about this unique time, the simple container of a Haiku works very well for this.   The 3 lines form is made up of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, & 5 syllables.  The invite it is to write your own, video record yourself reading it, and then send it to Quarantine Haikus: https://thebridgepai.org/quarantinehaikus/

Here’s mine:

cherry blossom tree

as colorful as ever

like nothing has changed

March 31, 2020

Resilient Quarantine Artist Projects

The life of an artist is one of constant reinvention.  And these times call for just that.  As I’ve shifted from a flute performance career, to directing a community arts non-profit, Instruments of Change (instrumentsofchange.org), to creative writing, I have sometimes struggled to define myself by my job description or title.  However, if I have learned anything from this necessary process of unravelling my identity from my career achievements, I have learned to connect more deeply to who I AM rather than what I DO.  This process of redefinition has led me to recognize that, at the core of everything I do, I am an arts advocate, first and foremost.  So, this is the title that sits most comfortably for me.  As an arts advocate, I am constantly seeking ways to increase public perception of the value of the arts and artists, themselves. And this eloquent article (https://madmimi.com/s/708e601) which my friend, Juliana Bedoya shared, perfectly illustrates why artists are ideally equipped for dealing with our current uncertain circumstances.  To summarize Andrew Simonet’s piece, Dear Artists, This is What We Train For:

1.    Artists are accustomed to charting unfamiliar territory.

2.    Artists are excellent at “working with what they’ve got” - to quote Duke Ellington

3.    Artists are keen observers, and they use those powers to create expressions of resonance and relevance.

4.    Artists thrive at adapting to constantly changing rhythms and flow.

In only the few brief weeks since quarantined living began (although I know that this has seemed eternal for some), it has been remarkable how many resilient strategies and projects I’ve encountered in my artist community.  So, here, I’d like to share just a few initiatives that are happening in my own backyard.

In Vancouver, the Little Chamber Music Series That Could has launched their Isolation Commissions, where individuals, for only $200, can hire solo artists to film a 4 min video of themselves performing something which reflects the impact that this extraordinary social situation is having on their artistic practice. It might be an improvisation, a favorite piece, a work that brings comfort, or a new composition in progress. Incredibly, by March 31st, already 30 video performances from 30 unique artists had been successfully commissioned. Interested “commissioners” can contact Mark Haney at: artisticdirector@littlechambermusic.com to arrange their desired artist partnership.  And you can learn more about their innovative program here: http://littlechambermusic.com/isolation-commissions/

For years, the Sunday Service has provided live improv sets at Vancouver’s Fox Cabaret, and they are not letting self-isolation stop that tradition.  So now, every Sunday, at 9 pm, Cyber Service livestreams collaborative improv, from each of their respective homes, on their You Tube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2A8-xxVUssHFIr_WDt4Gyg?view_as=subscriber&fbclid=IwAR2ojZlCDLZHjkN6qq0iDKtm4mPkI9dQvoZeGVv9IWpYX85zDfq0lKePegA

Instruments of Change is also playing with our own adaptive strategies as we anticipate the potential cancellation of our free, outdoor summer concert series, Street Beats.  In 2018, originally invited by VIVA Vancouver, I of C launched this series to make a wide variety of top-rate live music accessible to all, while celebrating our city’s vibrant public spaces.    So, in an effort to continue meeting those objectives without the possibility of large public gatherings, Street Beats sound engineer, David Spidel has proposed Street Beats - the Stream Beats edition.  His idea is to drone video record several Vancouver parklets and plazas, and then green screen these behind various livestreamed performances of Vancouver artists.  We should learn, in the coming weeks, if VIVA goes for his slightly wacky concept, and we’ll keep you posted.

April 1, 2020

Lockdown Laughs

This year, the internet exploded with announcements that there should be a moratorium on April Fools Jokes, as we are all living a far worse hoax than any one of us could ever devise.  And while I’m usually a huge fan of this prankster holiday, I fully understand the sensitivity of the ask. So, instead of tricks, I thought I’d just include some good laughs for much needed levity.

As a dentist, my Dad spent his life glaring into terrified people’s mouths, so humor served him well to put his patients at ease.  It is no surprise, then, that he has injected daily doses of giggles into my quarantined existence with his reliably hilarious links.  Here’s my favorite so far:

https://www.theloop.ca/watch/news/strange/this-couple-s-hilarious-horse-dance-has-gone-viral/6144325579001/1660977952457681249%20/your-morning/

Masters of lockdown living, people in China have perfected the art of making themselves laugh in hard times. And watching this American comedian’s stand-up routine, which weaves in crazy Tiktok videos from China, was perhaps the hardest I’ve laughed since this whole ordeal began:

https://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/608485/tik-tok-quarantine/

Also, my local arts community has come through again, with a livestream version of their weekly Thursday night comedy show, Jokes Please, that’s hosted at Little Mountain Theatre, only blocks from our home.  It airs every Thursday, at 9 pm PST, but remains on their Facebook page for future viewing, too. https://www.facebook.com/jokespleaseshow

April 2, 2020

A Simple Verse

Some days, a few artful lines can go a long way.  In life, as is now evident more than ever, there are many changes over which we have no control.  And while we often wish we had the power to say or do something that could shift those things with which we are uncomfortable, this is not always possible. However, what we can control is the steadiness with which we face these uncomfortabilities.  As we all struggle with feelings of powerlessness in these uncertain times, TS Eliot reminds us that patience and faith will get us through.

I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing; 

Wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing; 

There is yet faith, but the faith and the love are all in the waiting. 

Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought: 

So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing. 

                                                                                               T.S. Eliot

April 3, 2020

Physically Distant Connections

There is much to be learned from trees.  For those who have not yet read the wonderous, Hidden Life of Trees, in it Peter Wohlleben describes the remarkable communication system between our forest friends.  Without language or physical touch, these living beings can support, nourish and love one another in magnificent symbiosis.  In fact, trees are masters of social distancing, as he illustrates here:

“The average tree grows its branches out until it encounters the branch tips of a neighboring tree of the same height. It doesn’t grow any wider because the air and better light in this space are already taken. However, it heavily reinforces the branches it has extended, so you get the impression that there’s quite a shoving match going on up there. But a pair of true friends is careful right from the outset not to grow overly thick branches in each other’s direction. The trees don’t want to take anything away from each other, and so they develop sturdy branches only at the outer edges of their crowns, that is to say, only in the direction of “non-friends.” Such partners are often so tightly connected at the roots that sometimes they even die together.”

Ironically, another term for the crown of a stand of trees is corona. So, let us all follow their lead and trust that our separateness is what will keep us together.

And, if you’re keen to read more about the wisdom of trees, the latest Pulitzer Prize winning novel, The Overstory by Richard Powers, weaves a dense and motivating tale that explores what drives radical tree activists’ passion to save our dwindling forests.  Powers is not a man of few words.  On nearly every tenth page of his 512 page tome, there will be a word that you will likely have to look up.  But trust that you will be the smarter and more moved for it.  This has been the most powerful read I’ve had in the past couple of years, emotionally and intellectually.  So, if quarantine living happens to leave you with some extra time on your hands, it’s definitely worth it.

Pratityasamutpada is my favorite Sanskrit word.  (And yes, as nerdy as that sounds, I do have a favorite.)  It means the interdependence of all things.  And since physical distancing began, nothing has made me feel more connected to my fellow citizens than the nightly 7 pm cheer for our health care workers. So, I will leave you with a video from this week that captures the essence of interconnectedness beautifully.  https://youtu.be/BS8dMC1sfXc

[kpopfanfictrash]

Row AQ

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Yoongi (Suga)

Genre: Fluff / Humor

Prompt: “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.” + Library!AU

Rating: PG

Word Count: 2,955

Someone wrote in the book.

Slamming the cover shut, you glare at the deadened library before you. The place is empty, nothing but vacant tables and books as far as the eye can see.

Plopping down in your chair, you sullenly scroll through your laptop and sigh. The book is Kerouac – On the Road, which is an ostentatiously male read. This is the main reason you assume the defacer is male, although the handwriting alone might be enough to identify that fact. Bold scribbles in the margins, notes about the book and life in general. Which would be fine, if this were his book, but it is not.

Rather sadly, you brush the book’s spine. Without thinking, you flip the book open to page 114. This is where the writer apparently lost steam, for the notes end here. It’s the beginning of Part II, where Sal and Dean are discussing a dream Sal had. They converse briefly on the idea of longing for death. Written in the margin is:

It’s interesting... they say they want nothing to do with death, and yet their lifestyle is a contradiction of this. Bright and burning, ferocious and reckless. Is living like this an attempt to keep death at bay, or draw it closer? After all, what’s more alive than to look death in the face and know you’re not?

Lowering the book, you stare into space for a moment. 

Perhaps the most annoying part of the whole situation is how intriguing the vandal’s comments are; how thoughtful and intelligent he seems to be. Second most annoying is that the notes are penned in a jarring shade of blue ink. The color lends further to the insult and, gritting your teeth, you push the book aside.

It’s the guy’s audacity which really irks you. The fact that he assumed everyone would want to read his thoughts. 

What’s even more annoying is he didn’t even check the book out. When you looked up the last owner, you saw Rosie Garcell. She checked the book out four months ago, despite On the Road being found out of place yesterday.

It’s not only On the Road, either – you found similar notes in Hamlet and The Importance of Being Earnest; big, giant HA’s written across the pages of the latter. At least the guy finds Cecily as annoying as you do, although you suppose that’s kind of the point. The guy flat out screams in the margins in one spot, which made you laugh. Only briefly, before you caught yourself.

Rosie Garcell never checked out The Importance of Being Earnest though, which means the vandal isn’t her. It’s someone else removing the books from their shelves, marking them in bright blue ink and putting them back. You just need to find out who and make them stop.

At least, now you know what book the vandal is on. Staring at On the Road, you contemplate whether or not to act. On the one hand, you really want to let them know you’re onto them. On the other hand, if you do what you’re thinking, it’d make you complicit in their public destruction.

Exhaling deeply, you set the book down on the table. Flipping to page 114 and staring at the last note, you cast a quick glance around the room and lower your pen.

Honestly. What are you doing, defacing library books? Buy your own copy if you want to wax poetic.

You frown at the words, re-reading and wondering if they’re threatening enough. Or possibly they’re too threatening. This is your first conversation, after all. Shaking your head, you decide you’re over-thinking things again. 

Before you can stop myself though, you add:

Thanks, and hope you have a nice day.

Placing your pen back in your pocket, you glance at the empty library. Walking quickly to row AQ, where On the Road was found, you shove the book back into place and wipe your now-sweaty palms on your pants. Hopefully, the vandal won’t take long to reply.

They don’t.

The very next night, you check Row AQ for an update before sitting down at your desk. On the Road is visible, its red jacket prominent and your heart starts to pound, walking down the aisle. You didn’t shelve it sticking out so far. Grabbing its spine, you gasp when you see an earmarked page. 

Page 196, and beside the page marker is a note.

Hello, either A) righteous library worker or B) concerned citizen who’s wandered in from the streets. It’s good to see you’re taking an interest in the public library system. I, too, wish I could buy my own copy but unfortunately, I’m flat-out broke. Skint, penniless, no coin in my threadbare pockets.

That said, it was kind – if somewhat odd – of you to wish me a nice day, so I’ll do the same.

P.S. What did you think of Sal and Dean’s conversation? Do you see the lure of death? Personally, I think it’d be kind of fun to haunt someone.

You almost laugh, but catch yourself just in time. This punk – he has some nerve to try and be funny in this kind of situation. Despite this, you find myself smiling as you walk down the aisle. 

Battling the guilt of removing a book from its row, you bring the book to your desk and sit to re-read the vandal’s words. The library is busier than usual tonight, so it’s a long while before you can lay your pen to paper.

Hello, sir.

You are a sir, aren’t you? If you’re female and I’ve assumed wrongly based on your handwriting – I do apologize. It’s fine that you’re broke, but why do you have to write in the margins? You can just read! Control your ink.

Interesting though, that you think it’d be fun to haunt someone because WRITE IN THE MARGIANS AGAIN and if I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.

P.S. I did agree with your general thoughts on the conversation.

Quickly shutting the book, you wonder what the hell you’re doing.

You’re an upstanding citizen. You volunteer, work part-time around your college courses and always, always pay your credit card bill on time. You’re not a chronic margin-writer and yet, here you are on your bathroom break, sliding the book into its new spot at the end of row AQ.

Returning to your desk, you wonder if this guy visits the library in the morning. It must be a time other than your shift, since you never seem to see him. Or, maybe he’s sitting here right now. Scanning the room, you narrow my eyes and try to identify the culprit.

A woman stands at the water fountain; you watch her pile three books on top of the ledge before taking a drink. You wince at the thought of them falling before moving on to the next person. Behind her sits a girl and boy. Neither one of them have pens with them though, and both seem immersed in their books, so you keep looking.

One by one, you cross off every person in the library. Sinking lower in your seat to swivel around, you know this is silly, yet your gaze continues to drift in the direction of the stacks. There’s nothing to do now but wait, and it is with this mindset the night passes.

The next day, you fairly run from your lecture hall. Catching the bus in record time, you sprint from the steps and nearly bowl over the lone guy who stands in line for the bus. Shoulder hitting his, you spin to jog backwards. 

“Sorry!” you yell, wincing when the guy doesn’t look. “Really!”

Nodding once, the guy adjusts his black beanie and climbs onto the bus. Over his shoulder, he waves a hand to acknowledge he’s fine. Shrugging, you hike your bag higher and open the library doors. 

First, you wander the room, glancing at every face before reaching row AQ. It’s disappointing when you find the book already there. You’d been half-hoping to catch whoever it is in the act.

Tugging the book from the shelf, it falls open in your hand.

Yes, I’m a guy and although I don’t object to being called sir, Yoongi will do. I’m offended you’d ask me to stop writing. Ask me not to breathe, ask me not to speak, but never deprive me of words.

You’ll haunt my ass? For uh, scientific reasons… are you a girl or a guy?

P.S. Also – just out of curiosity, which notes of mine stuck out?

Your heart pounds, probably from running so fast. As you firmly shut the book, you realize today’s page is 215. Either, Yoongi didn’t have as much time to read, or he’s reading slower than usual. The realization makes you wonder if he’s enjoying the exchange as much as you are, and attempting to stretch out our conversation.

Glancing at your watch, you notice the time. 4:05 PM – damn, you’re late. Dashing back to the front, you studiously avoid meeting your boss’ gaze. It’s not like you can explain where you’ve been, or what you’ve been doing. Your pen itches to write Yoongi back but again, the library is busy tonight. 

You end up preoccupied nearly until close, helping students to find books, returning old ones to shelves: cataloguing, indexing and checking people in. Finally, around 10:00 PM, you explain to your boss you need to return one more book to its shelf.

Returning to row AQ, you squat behind the shelves. Scribbling furiously to Yoongi, you write on page 215.

I am a girl, my name is Y/N. I’ll be sure to respect your boundaries when I’m haunting you. I do want to apologize though, for telling you to stop writing. In all honesty – despite the delinquency of method – the notes you wrote were rather beautiful.

P.S. I have a lot of favorites

The next day, you manage to work for nearly a half-hour before allowing yourself to check the shelf. You half-jog to row AQ, yanking On the Road from it’s hiding place on the shelf. 

Page 217 has been bookmarked and you laugh, realizing yes, Yoongi is reading slower on purpose.

Hi Y/N,

You work here, don’t you? You must, since you keep calling me all sorts of rude things for doodling in the margins. What’s your favorite book? I’ll read that one next. If… I can ever finish this book, that is. Page 216 was tough to get through. It took me an entire day.

P.S. Please tell me? I’ll tell you something in return.

Exhaling softly, you try and suppress your excitement. You don’t know Yoongi, you remind yourself. It makes absolutely no sense to be so interested in what he has to say. 

The library is rather empty tonight, though, so you quickly pull out your ballpoint pen and settle down on the floor. You’ve been writing in black ink throughout the book, in contrast to Yoongi’s blue-colored notes.

I only call you names you deserve, Yoongi. 

Defacer, graffitist, criminal, thug, ruffian, delinquent – I could go on, but this is only a 300 page novel. Defacing books is the highest form of crime, in my opinion. My favorite book is The Importance of Being Earnest – but I saw you wrote notes in the margins of that one already.

P.S. What secret would you tell me?

The next night, on page 218:

Y/N, I think you’re forgetting one, very important detail and that is – you’re ALSO writing in this book! You’re a defacer, a graffitist, a criminal, a ruffian, a delinquent – well, I can’t quite say thug. Although, if you want me to call you a thug, far be it from me to crush your dreams.

P.S. If you tell me what your favorite note is, I’ll tell you something I haven’t told anyone

The conversation has been going on for over a week.

Rereading Yoongi’s last note, you lean your head to the wall. You feel as if you know him, which sounds silly. You don’t know this Yoongi. You don’t know anything real about him, beyond his pen and his ink and his words but somehow, this feels like enough.

Yoongi.

I like your name – did I tell you that? It’d be nice to hear you say it aloud. Fine, I’ll tell you my favorite, but I expect a very incriminating secret in return.

P.S. “Breathing is easy, but living is hard. When people ask about your life, they never ask about your temperature, your last meal, or how well you slept. They ask about your sweat, your thoughts and your actions. I want my actions to count.”    

Setting down your pen, you stare at his quote.

You didn’t even need to reference the words; you’d already memorized them. It’s an annotation Yoongi wrote in Part I of On the Road. It had struck you at the time, part of the reason you kept flipping pages. Most people write dutifully, a train of thought which rarely amounts anything. Not Yoongi. 

Returning the book to its shelf, you wonder if this is what you wanted all along. To know more about the man who wrote such beautiful words.

The entire bus ride home, you stare out the window. It’d be nice if you were courageous enough to do something like leave Yoongi your number. The idea of it brings heat to your cheeks and again, you tell myself you don’t know him. Yoongi could be seventy years old, or not interested in women, or an ax murderer. Leaning your head to the glass, you continue to stare at the streets which pass by.

Realizing something, you straighten in your seat. There’s an easy solution to all this. You could simply go to the library early. You could camp by the shelf and wait for Yoongi to appear. Even if you decide not to speak to him, at least you’d know what he looks like. Mind made up, your eyelids flutter shut. Tomorrow, you’ll head into work early.

The next morning, you skip class. Heart racing, you duck in the side door of the library, scared someone will recognize you and call out your name. It’d be awkward for Yoongi to recognize you before you can recognize him. Wandering further in, you choose a table directly facing Row AQ. I wait. Pulling out your binders, you pretend to study when in actuality, you’re peering over your book at the shelves.

No one comes.  

Minutes, hours pass and you sit there in silence, growing more and more impatient. Maybe Yoongi comes to the library later than you originally thought. Possibly he leaves before 4:00 pm (the start of my shift), but arrives after – you glance at your watch and feel your heart sink. 3:30. You must have missed him. Or, maybe Yoongi just isn’t coming by today.

Wearily, you stand and begin gathering your things. Halfheartedly, you decide to check the book but are halfway down the aisle when you notice it’s gone. Nearly tripping over yourself in your haste to be closer, your hands brush the shelves, but there’s nothing to find. 

High and low, you search for a book that’s not there. Groaning out loud, you run a hand through your hair. The only thing you can think is someone on the library staff rearranged the shelves before your arrival.

That, or Yoongi moved the book.

Warily, you consider this option. Yoongi hasn’t come in yet today, he hasn’t left you a note. Maybe your last note was too much and you scared him off. Maybe, Yoongi could tell that you liked him – maybe he saw you’re enamored with a total stranger, completely freaking him out, so he ran.

Swallowing hard, you realize it’s almost time for your shift. Holding your things tightly to your chest, you berate myself for imagining this to be more. It’s not as though you and Yoongi are friends, it’s not like you were actually flirting. 

Still, his notes have become the highlight of your week and the thought of their absence pains you more than you can articulate.

Rounding the corner, your feet come to a stop. You stare, confused by the sight of On the Road placed in the middle of your desk. The cover is unmistakable, bright red and completely out of place. Slowly, you lower your bag to the ground, taking a step forward and running a finger along its spine.

You notice the last page has been folded and when you open the book, your heart starts to race.

I haven’t told anyone this yet, but I’m falling for a girl I’ve never met.

Someone clears his throat from behind and you whirl, nearly dropping the book in the process. 

A guy stands several feet away, staring at you with wide eyes. He’s handsome; medium height and build, with delicate features. His hair is silver – dyed, you think – and slightly reflective in the light. In his hands, the guy is holding a black knit beanie.

“You,” you blurt, realizing who he is. “I almost knocked you over when I ran off of the bus.”

Yoongi nods, somewhat incredulous. “I thought I recognized you.”

Placing the book down on your desk, you take a slow step forward. “You didn’t come to the library this morning,” you say, your eyes narrowing. “I waited for you.”

His upper lip quirks. “I came earlier,” Yoongi explains. “I couldn’t wait any longer. I’m... Yoongi, by the way.”

You watch him move closer. “I know. I’m Y/N.”

“Hm. What do you know.” Yoongi scans my face. “I like the way you say your name.”

“That’s my line,” you say, crossing your arms. A faint smile takes over your face. “I should have known you were a thief, in addition to vandal.”

Yoongi grins. “Slander,” he murmurs, his eyes large and dark. Silver hair falls into his gaze as he exhales. “I’m sorry, I can’t seem to get over you being here. You’re just so…”

“Short?”

“Beautiful.”

You’re grateful then, that you’re in a library. It means the space between you is hushed, the people around you infinitely quiet. You hear every word Yoongi says and you feel when something careful settles into place between you. 

“Did you mean it?” you ask, swallowing your hesitancy. “What you wrote?”

He’s falling for someone he’s never met.

Yoongi nods again. “Did you really like my writing?”

You nod back. “Yes. Very much so.”

You stand there for a while, looking at one another. At least, you do until Yoongi smiles and you realize what could possibly be more beautiful than his words. 

“Then,” he teases, his eyes bright with humor. “I propose a deal. I’ll pay the library back for the book I destroyed if you’ll go on a date with me.”

You laugh, a touch nervous when he takes a step closer. “But what would you get?”

“That’s simple,” Yoongi says. “I’ll get you on a date. What do you say?”

A slow smile spreads across your face. “I’d say thank you for defacing public property.”

Author’s Note: Er. This is a one shot. LOL - I hope you enjoy!

[3,000 Followers Drabble Game Master List]

[bmvistas2018]

HAVANA OOH NA NA!!

The income countries garner from tourism, is one that most countries cannot neglect. When the income from tourism begins to dwindle, every country feels its impact, immaterial of how strong the economy is. So, for a country like Antigua, which is one of the most tourism-dependent countries in the world (65% of the country’s GDP), a decline in tourism is a massive cause for concern.

However, other Caribbean countries are not far behind. Last year the Caribbean as a whole welcomed 29 million tourists, spending nearly £27 billion. With the exception of Americans, British tourists make up the largest visitor demographic.

But a recent survey found that half of the British tourists are not planning to return to the Caribbean this winter, believing the whole area to be badly storm-damaged. In such a tourism-dependent region, a reduction in visitor numbers would have a financially devastating impact, affecting everyone from hoteliers to street food vendors.

This is the scale of damage caused by natural disasters in the Caribbeans. Hurricane Maria, which was the 10th most powerful Atlantic storm on record, and although many tourism hotspots, including Barbados, Jamaica, and St Lucia, escaped unscathed, other island nations were devastated. Hurricane Irma left 10 Cubans dead, Irma and Maria collapsed the infrastructure, electricity and communications lines of the British Virgin Islands, one-third of Dutch Sint Maarten’s buildings were ruined, and in the US Virgin Islands many people remain without power. The rugged island of Dominica was ravaged, leaving 27 people dead, more than 50 people missing, and 90 percent of buildings damaged or destroyed. Meanwhile, Puerto Rico’s experienced time as a Federal Disaster Zone, with the death count tragic.

This has now also bred a sense of skepticism among tourists, with the peak season to follow also expected to be severely impacted.

A natural disaster is at risk of becoming an economic disaster, with consequences much more severe.

Your task is to ensure that it does not become an economic disaster.

You are required to:

Select one or more damaged tourist regions and draw up plans to completely restore them. Furthermore, to also ensure that the masses are made aware of the large-scale rebuilding efforts

Draw up comprehensive strategies to ensure the eradication of skepticism among the various tourist populations, for the winter peak season to follow.

Deliverables:

A report of not less than 10 pages

A PPT of not more than 10 slides

A Google doodle that would showcase on the website to attract tourists (Should be based on your flagship strategy)

Any other deliverables you deem fit

DEADLINE:

Soft copy submission: 12 pm,3rd July 2018 Hard copy submission: 4pm, 4th July 2018

[nicosroom]

Nico’s “52 list”

The aim of the 52 list are to set down a “to-do” list of sorts in order that 

I don’t get overwhelmed by everything I’ve ever wanted to do (and therefore never do anything); 

and to weed out things I don’t actually want to do with my life (as in, if I don’t do it at the end of 2017, I have to decide if I want to put it on next year’s list or just admit I’ll never do it). 

Here it goes--

1. Learn to poach eggs - perfecting them is an ongoing process, but I have the basic technique down; follow the saga on Twitter

2. No sugar in smoothies or oatmeal for two weeks - January 23-February 5. My plan is to maintain sugar free smoothies, but some oatmeal just needs sugar, okay?

3. Practice blow drying my own hair approximately once per week. Despite how little I do it, I really do enjoy wearing my hair straight once in a while. Typically, I have it dried straight at the salon after a haircut. I’m far too clumsy and impatient to do it myself. But, this year, I want to practice so that just maybe I can do more things with my hair than letting it air dry and throwing it up in a bun when I get tired of it falling in my face. 

4. Try Penzeys Spices.  It was everything. 

5. Day trip to Yellow Springs, OH.

6. Visit Old Schoolhouse Winery in Eaton, OH.

7. Visit Hanover Winery in Hamilton, OH. It may be the best kept secret in Butler County. 

8. Buy an immersion blender at the KitchenAid summer sale.  I bought an immersion blender and then some. 

9. Use sumac in a recipe. Almost two years ago, Catherine and I were cooking from Ottelenghi’s Jerusalem cookbook for my shoddily run cookbook club. It seemed like a ton of the recipes called for sumac. After a couple attempts, Catherine finally located it at the international market and she gave me ziploc snack-bag filled with sumac. Have I used sumac one single time since she gave this to me? No. This has to change in 2017.  It took a while, but I have now. 

10. Save $15 per week. Is it cheating if I automated this?

11. Buy a membership at the Cincinnati Art Museum. Student memberships are $30 per year. That’s like the smallest fraction of my discretionary spending budget that I could ever imagine. 

12. Make cannellini bean and lamb stew from Jerusalem. Check it out. I’ve been cooking out of this book Spring 2015 and it took me all this time to realize they sell lamb stew meat in very neat packages in the regular meat section at Kroger. This whole time, I keep looking for it at the international market, but they only have fancy lamb cuts that seem overwhelmingly expensive. 

13. Take more baths. I recently have been rereading The Bell Jar. Old Esther Greenwood may be kooky, but Plath sure made sure Esther knows a thing or two about taking baths.  **This is basically over. I probably took three baths in the month and a half after I made this list. Now, I’ve moved into an apartment that doesn’t even have a tub. Too bad! 

CANCELLED 14. Go speed dating.  Jen & I did a little research and we found that “Predating” seems to be the only speed dating service in the area. And they separate their groups into “25-35″ and “27-39,″ charge $39 to participate, and hold a session like once a month at a really inconvenient time, like 7 pm on a Tuesday. I’m highly dissuaded. Ladies should be able to speed date for free. The way I see it, reparations for sexism and patriarchy.

14. Make a leche flan from scratch. It’s my very favorite imperial dessert. I devour it at Filipino holiday parties and I always save room for it when I eat out at an American Mexican restaurant. But, I should try to make my own, at least once. 

15. Download and create a profile on a dating app.  Check out my assessments of Coffee Meets Bagel and Tinder.

16. Watch Blue Hawaii

17. Try some place new for brunch once a month. 

January: Sleepy Bee Cafe (Blue Ash (Cincy))

February: technically I failed. I only went out for brunch one time and it was at First Watch. But, at least, I tried a new location? The one in West Chester. 

March: Spice Kitchen (Cleveland)

April: Triple header - Holly’s Homemade Eats & Sweets (College Corner, Indiana); Bellevue Bistro (Bellevue, Kentucky); Hang Over Easy (Clifton (Cincy))

May: Sugarcreek Restaurant (Sheffield Village, Oh)

June: Rising Sun Cafe (Yellow Springs, Oh)

July: Treaty City Cafe (Greenville, Oh)

August: another new First Watch location (Secor Rd, Toledo)

September: another new First Watch location (Montgomery, AL)

October: Chik’n Mi (Louisville, KY); Keystone Bar & Grill (Covington, KY location)

November: Doodles (Lexington, KY)

December: Asiana Korean Restaurant (West Chester, OH). I guess this isn’t quite a brunch place, but I ate an delicious eggy beef stew, Yukaejang and we ate there at 11 am, brunch time.  

18. Visit downtown Waterville, OH. It’s a small town adjacent to the city of Toledo. I pass through it whenever I drive back and forth to the city from my mom’s new home on the farm. One of these days, maybe I’ll check out the local business scene, the metroparks, and the possibilities. 

19. Get a desk that I like and will use. Although people say I have a nice desk, I disagree. I found it near the dumpsters at the apartment complex next door. It does its job, but I don’t love it.

CANCELLED. 20. Complete a Whole 30 reset.  Though I remain curious, after much research, I decided that the reset is a terrible idea. 

20. Watch Up. 

21. Go to a live NFL game. Hopefully not the Bengals…unless they play a really interesting team…or, I can’t afford anything else. 

22. Learn hollandaise sauce. Look. 

23. Make an eggs benedict dish for breakfast -or lunch/dinner, I suppose. Perhaps a classic with English muffins, but maybe something like a salmon or fried green tomatoes benedict. 

24. Make my bed every day for two weeks. I’ve read that this is a habit of highly successful people. I think it would be really good for my “working from home” vs. napping problem. 

25. Make a TV-watching schedule. In college, I read some advice that you should schedule when you’ll watch TV and you should only watch TV then. I read that before the days of Netflix instant video. With Netflix, and especially after I moved into my own place, I formed a habit of “watching TV” as background noise while I do any number of things - wash the dishes, cook, fold the laundry, wash my face. As such, I get a lot of stuff done and also take in a lot of pop culture at the same time. But, I also see where this is an extremely counterproductive habit. Such as when I start a new 43 minute episode, but it only takes 20 minutes to wash dishes…and I watch the whole thing…Specifying the TV watching time gives you something to look forward to and provides some space to relax (unlike watching TV while simultaneously doing chores). The schedule should also put an end time on your TV watching. I’m gonna try for an hour Sunday-Thursday, likely between 8-9pm and make Friday and Saturdays open for watching a running list of movies I’ve intended to see. Check out my schedule and what I’m watching!

26. Make roasted pine nut hummus from scratch. Big brand pine nut hummus is so good. But after those hummus recalls by both Sabra and Trader Joe’s, we are in a trust no one situation. I shelled out $24 for a 3lb bag of pine nuts at Costco and I’ll be making my own hummus all year long. 

27. Do a cleansing face mask once a week for four weeks. 

28. Exfoliate lips once a week for four weeks. Will 27 & 28 stay weekly habits?? 

29. Color (in my adult coloring book) for 15 minutes before bed, Sunday through Thursday night for two weeks. I started 2017 hoping this could be a nightly habit. A late night here, a phone call with a friend there, a “oh, I forgot to make a lesson plan” on this hand, or a “just-too-tired today” on the other and suddenly I haven’t touched my $22 coloring book in more than two weeks. Alongside some of the above plans and habits on this list, maybe I can do this if I am a little more flexible and realistic. So I’ll shoot for work nights for two solid weeks and see if I can then turn it into a more definite routine. 

30. No tech after 10 pm, Sunday through Thursday for one week. 

31. Read Ta-Nehisi Coates, “The Case for Reparations” from The Atlantic. You’d think this is easy; it’s an article from The Atlantic, after all. But when I made a PDF of this thing it was 62 pages long. That feels like a short term commitment and I’ve got to put it on the calendar one of these days (after comps).

32. Cook a Julia Child recipe. I made her hollandaise. I like the way she makes one feel empowered to do it, like its the most natural thing in the world. Not like Masterchef, where you’re doomed to fail from the start. 

33. Go on a solo weekend trip. Details here.  

34. Go to one of those miles long/wide antique malls. I pass by them often on my highway drives around the state and I fantasize about completing my Corelle and Pyrex butterfly gold collections. Somehow the timing is never right - I’m in a hurry, or they’re not open, or whatever excuse I can think up. Some local possibilities: Ohio Valley Antique Mall (Cincinnati’s largest, apparently, in Fairfield), Riverside Antique Mall (over 100 dealers on the scenic Ohio River; Cincinnati), and Heart of Ohio Antiques (according to their website, America’s largest antique destination just an hour away from me in Springfield). 

35. Visit Grand Lake St. Mary’s/Celina, OH. I passed by this lake/state park last summer when I drove up US 127 until it connected with US 24. It’s a grueling drive compared with taking the fast-paced highway, but I saw so many tiny towns that might be interesting to visit. Grand Lake St. Mary’s looks like a nice beachy getaway. Though it probably gets busy and touristy in the summers, I bet the weekdays are quiet enough for me to enjoy a day or an overnight here. Perhaps this is a good candidate for that solo weekend trip I noted above. 

36. Make tom kha gai. Thai coconut soup with mushrooms (and maybe chicken). So good, so good. 

37. Go to IKEA. I was impressed. 

38. Go to another distillery on the Kentucky Bourbon Trail. In 2012-13, I went to Four Roses, Wild Turkey, Woodford Reserve, and Maker’s Mark. In 2014, 2015, and 2016 I took trips South in which I drove right through all the places in Kentucky where I might stop off to finish the trail, but I did not stop once - not even for Jim Beam, which is right next to the highway! In 2017, I should go to one, at least. Will I finish the Bourbon Trail or my dissertation first? Stay tuned! 

39. Whole 30 Prep: Phase out yogurt for two weeks. I haven’t bought any yogurt since. The question remains, when will I tackle cheese?

40. No alcohol for two weeks. 

CANCELLED. 41. Whole 30 Prep: No grains for one week.  

41. Go see Fiona the hippo at the Cincinnati Zoo. 

CANCELLED  42.  No peanut butter, soy, and legumes for two weeks.

42. Go to Miami football and hockey games. I lived in Oxford for 5 years and did neither of these. My only incentive once I move to Cincinnati will be crossing it off this list. 

43. Make a meal with a spaghetti squash. I’ve eaten spaghetti squash of course, but I’ve never bothered to roast/dismantle/serve one on my own. This year, I’m finally making that Southwestern Stuffed Spaghetti Squash recipe I pinned about three years ago. 

44. Ride the carousel at the Banks in Cincinnati. I tried to do this a couple summers ago, but I showed up 30 minutes after closing time. Time to try again! And some of the carousel characters are pigs! 

45. Find red wines that I like. I’m a dry white wine drinker - which puts me in some difficult situations sometimes. Working wine tastings since 2013, I’ve learned some favorites - Raffy Grand Reserve Malbec, Haka Tempranillo, Brion Cabernet. That is, I’ve learned expensive taste. I haven’t stopped working on this, but here are few winners so far. 

46. Eat at J. Austin’s. It’s this restaurant I/we pass by every time we drive through Hamilton on the way to somewhere else. One of these days, J.Austin’s should be my/our destination, just to check it out. 

47. Get a couch. I’ve managed to live seemingly on my own for five years and never have bothered to get a couch. I was walking around the Salvation Army on April 7 and I impulsively bought a couch.  

48. Visit the American Sign Museum - I’ve made it to most of Cincinnati’s museums by now, but not this one. In 2017, it’s time. 

49. Visit two new U.S. states - I chatted with a guy in the dating app about his goal of visiting all 50 United States before he turns 50, prompting me to list the states I’ve been to and steal his idea entirely. After eliminating all the states I’ve driven through but had no meaningful interaction with (Mississippi, North Carolina, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Maryland, Virginia) and the ones I don’t remember (like South Carolina, where we lived when I was an infant), I’ve got 21. I was in panic mode - how will I get to 29 states in the next 22.5 years? For the next five or ten years, I think I’ll try to hit at least two a year. In 2017, I have my sights set on Missouri and Arizona. Can anyone recommend some interesting border towns? 

Phoenix, AZ trip is booked! Oct. 25-31

50. Have four artist dates. An artist date is a solo date with an artist/artwork. You go by yourself and the point is to just spend time with the artwork without the pressures to talk to other people about it or work on/around their schedules. When you go it alone, the only schedule you have to worry about is yours. Now  that I think of it, I should have called “artist date” every time I made the mistake of dragging my ex-boyfriend to a military history museum and then feeling rushed because he didn’t want to read everything on every plaque like I did. This is precisely the problem artist dates solve. Dates can range from visiting exhibits and galleries, artist talks or performances, concerts or movies, spending the entire day reading a book, or listening to music in the peace of your own home without any other distractions. I heard about artist dates from Janice MacLeod (author of Paris Letters) and had planned to have one every month during 2015. Life got busy and all kinds of excuses not to have artist dates turned into no artist dates by the middle of the year. I set the bar lower this year, at four, hoping I can do this once a quarter. 

February 19, 2017 - George Takei’s Allegiance

May 13, 2017 - Citizen by Claudia Rankine

June 2, 2017 - Jordan Peele’s Get Out 

December 7, 2017 - Tom Hanks/Emma Watson/Dave Eggers, The Circle 

51. Learn to sew on a button. Whenever my buttons need help I take the clothes to my favorite seamstress and pay $4 for the repair and make who knows how many carbon emissions driving over to her place. 

52. Watch Star Wars. I’ve never seen it, so I have no idea about the allusions, the “Star Wars nights” at sporting events, or the Cold War metaphors about race, gender, and nation.  I wasn’t very impressed. 

[riichardwilson]

It’s Good To Talk: Thoughts And Feelings On Creative Wellness

About The Author

Jhey makes awesome things for awesome people! He’s a web developer with almost 10 years of experience. Working with and for names such as Eurostar, Uber, … More about Jhey …

With so much pressure to be our best selves and use every waking moment to develop skills, it’s easy to lose track of our own wellbeing. Self-improvement and commitment to your craft are great — but only if you find the right balance.

In fields as fast-paced and technical as web design and development, it’s easy to lose sight of our own wellbeing. For many, there’s a constant sense of trying to keep up or ahead. We may not even realize we’re doing it.

Ask yourself, when was the last time you stepped away for a day and didn’t think about coding or design for a day? For me, that’s very hard to answer. For many, it’s a vocation that we can’t switch on and off. We can’t turn it off at 5 or 6 PM. Let’s talk about that and ways we can deal with it.

It’s important to start right off the bat by saying this article isn’t a dictation. The aim here is to spark interest, engagement, and discussion. These are things that sometimes get lost in the whirlwind industry we are a part of. Different things work for different people, and these words are written with the best intentions.

Why now? I’d planned to write something about this topic at the tail end of last year. I was making my way back from my first NodeConfEU and feeling inspired by a talk I attended, “Building Open Source Communities with Tierney Cyren”.

I made a bunch of notes, then life and other commitments cropped up and the article made its way to the backburner. But, that’s OK. And that’s kind of where this post leads us to. It’s OK if you didn’t write that post, work on that side project this weekend, and so on.

Pressure Culture

If you’re reading this, odds are you’ve seen or experienced pressure culture — that constant, nagging expectation to dedicate every waking hour to skills development and side projects, even if your heart might not be in it. This pressure can be self-imposed, and whether we like it or not social media also plays a big part. If we aren’t careful, it can eat away at us.

Pressure culture isn’t something that’s popped up recently. It’s been around a long time, a constant looming external force. Left unchecked it can fill you with guilt, anxiety, and other feelings we aren’t fond of.

Work/Play balance by The Awkward Yeti. (Image source: theawkwardyeti.com) (Large preview)

This is a common result of the idea of ‘The ideal worker,’ with pressure coming from those higher up in workplace hierarchies. These ‘Never say no’ employees feel obliged to wear themselves thin in order to progress in their careers. There’s a great Harvard Business Review article called “Managing the High-Intensity Workplace” that explores this mindset.

Social media pressure is also very real. The tendency to idealize our online lives is well documented. We often forget that we are likely only looking at someone else’s highlight reel. That is true of work as well as play. If we forget that and spend a lot of time-consuming content from those we idolize, that pressure creeps in. We want to be as awesome as the people on our feed, but at what cost?

There was a period a little while back where tweets like this were quite frequent:

Get home.

Watch Netflix or do more coding learning?

Seems like a small decision.

For one night it is.

But multiplied over a year, this decision defines your future.

— 𝗪𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗚𝗲𝗲𝗸 (@WellPaidGeek) November 6, 2019

The message is completely understandable. Time is valuable. The hard truth is that if you want to get far in your career, prepare to put in the hours. Nothing gets handed out. Self-improvement and commitment to your craft are great, but only if you find the right balance.

Messages like those above put you under an enormous amount of pressure. That pressure isn’t healthy, and can actually hamper your development. It can lead to things like burnout and potentially, even depression. What is burnout? This study phrases it quite well:

“Burnout is a psychological syndrome characterized by emotional exhaustion, feelings of cynicism and reduced personal accomplishment.”

It’s not a nice place to be. I can speak from experience here. Feeling as if things are bearing down on you and you need to keep up. “I need to make that new thing or learn that new framework to keep up with my peers.” I remember seeing tweets from people. They’d say things like, “I missed a day of my bootcamp course. I’d better do double tonight.” This makes for sad reading. You don’t want to end up resenting what you do for a job.

Burnout cannot only impact your personal wellbeing, but can also affect other areas of your life. Does your work suffer as a result? Do you still have the energy to give it your full attention? How about that creative spark? Is it gone? We’ve all heard of writer’s block. Well, creative’s block is a thing too!

The above tweet was a great example of how social media can influence us. Read the responses and engagement. There’s an almost 50⁄50 split on how it’s perceived. This response from Chris Coyler was great:

I don’t mind the sentiment here, but don’t burn out!https://t.co/Ho7CPcamEb

Just last night I had some stuff in mind I really wanted to get done on the ol laptop but I was just too tired after putting the kid down so I literally watched Netflix and everything will be ok

— Chris Coyier (@chriscoyier) November 6, 2019

And it’s so true. It’s OK to sit back and not force yourself to work on things. It’s fine to take the night off, the week off, and so on. Those projects will still be there for you. They’re not going anywhere. You might even decide you don’t want to return to them at all, and that’s fine too! It’s all about balance.

With the pandemic and many of us in lockdown, this trend has reared its head again. I’ve seen my fair share of messages implying if you haven’t picked up new skills with your new free time, you’ve wasted it. As if it’s some kind of opportunity. Not that a global pandemic is exhausting enough right?

Hopes and Dreams by The Awkward Yeti. (Image source: theawkwardyeti.com) (Large preview)

Even now, pressure culture is not black and white. The free time gained where we had other commitments is an opportunity. An opportunity to try something new or do something we haven’t had the time for. It might be that that thing is ‘rest’. For me, my weekend commitments halted, so I decided to finally start streaming. And, I’ve loved it! Still, I try not to let it take up more time than my other commitments would. If it gets too much, I take a break and step away.

Handling Pressure Culture

Getting AFK (Away from keyboard)

How can we combat these feelings of pressure? It sounds like the opposite of what our minds tell us, but one way is to get away from that keyboard. Disconnect and go do something else. I’m not saying lock up your laptop for a week and go cold turkey, but a break does you good.

Go for a walk, read a book, do nothing! We already saw that Chris enjoys a night with Netflix! I myself recently picked up a stylus for the iPad so I can go chill out on a bean bag and sketch doodles. There’s also a 1000 piece puzzle laid out on a table downstairs that’s quite good to sit next to zone out with.

Yes, it’s difficult at the moment. We can’t make a trip to the theme park or the cinema or even hit the gym. But, we can still get AFK. Even sporadic breaks throughout the day can do you wonders. I often get up every once in a while and do a few handstands!

This is true even when the world isn’t in crisis. Getting away from things can be great for you. It’s not healthy to tie yourself to the same thing 24 hours a day. Step back, broaden your scope, and appreciate that there’s so much more on offer for you. Close this tab and get away now if you’d like. I’d prefer it if you stuck around until the end, though.

Getting AFK pic.twitter.com/tXSxB52gLk

— Jhey (@jh3yy) June 14, 2020

It might not even be a case of getting physically AFK either. There’s a Slack community I’m in that has this notion of ‘fun laptop time’ which is an interesting idea. Have a separate machine that you can unwind on or do other things on. One that isn’t logged in to social media perhaps? One that you can do ‘fun’ things on. Maybe that is still coding something or creative writing or watching a live stream. The possibilities are endless.

Give yourself space to live away from your work. This article on Lifehacker cites the case that taking up something new can help with burnout. I can relate to that too. Scheduling something completely unrelated to work is quite good at this. For me, I know when the season is in full swing, I’ll be spending some of my Saturdays AFK running around a field.

Footballlll! 🥳 pic.twitter.com/0c1XEIQMBu

— Jhey (@jh3yy) July 14, 2020

With AFK, we’re mainly referring to sitting at a desk with a physical keyboard. Odds are, if you have a smartphone, the little digital one on that isn’t far away. A FOMO tip that might seem counterintuitive is to share being AFK. Share what you’re up to with people. It might surprise you how much people appreciate seeing others getting AFK. Rachel’s been plane spotting for example!

Just picked this up on my PiAware tracker and watched it go overhead. https://t.co/MHPoXlPzmZ

— Rachel Andrew (@rachelandrew) May 28, 2020

Please Talk

And that leads us to the title of this post. It’s good to talk. Is there a stigma attached to talking about our feelings and struggles? Yes. Should there be? Hell no!

FOMO, burnout, depression, anxiety, and so on. They’re all real things and likely touch more of us than we know. I listen to various podcasts. I remember one in which the speaker and guest spoke about almost an obsession with chasing goals. When you reach that goal, you hit a low. Maybe it didn’t fill that void you were hoping for? But, although I wasn’t having a conversation with them, hearing that did me some good. It was relatable.

I’d had this feeling inside, never expressing it. Now I knew it wasn’t uncommon. So I spoke about it with other people, and they could relate too. One big example for me was buying my house. It had been a goal for a year or so to get on the property ladder. Once I got the keys, it was a bit deflating. But, I should’ve been super happy about it.

Return of Me by The Awkward Yeti. (Image source: theawkwardyeti.com) (Large preview)

We could all bottle those things up. But, speaking about things and getting your thoughts out can go some way in taking the pressure off. Another perspective can really help you out! It might be hearing something as little as ‘I do that too’ or ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re doing great!’ that can go a long way. It’s not that you’re fishing for compliments, but it sometimes takes that other perspective to bring you back to reality.

Now don’t get me wrong. Talking about things is easier said than done, but the results might surprise you. Based on my own experience and others I’ve spoken to, here are some things you can do to combat those negative feelings.

Be willing to take the first step. Interaction doesn’t have to be a dying art. It won’t work for everyone and you can’t force others to embrace it. There will be those who do, though, people who feel exactly the same and were looking for someone to talk to.

Speak more openly. I’ve personally been terrible at this and I don’t mind admitting it. I’m getting better though. I speak more openly with those I engage with both on and offline and I’m happier for it. The takeaway being that there’s no shame in being yourself and doing what you want to do. If you’re being made to feel that way, it could be a good time to shift your circle or change up those you engage with. One nifty tip if you work remotely and feel isolated during the day is to set a reminder for yourself. For example, set a reminder every day at noon to reach out to people. This is quite effective. Most IM services can do this. For example, with Slack: /remind me "Reach out to people!" every weekday at 12:00 pm

If it can’t be offline, take it online. You don’t have to speak to people in person. Hop on a call with someone. Or even a video call. There are also so many online communities out there now too. If you don’t want to talk about how you feel, it’s great to even talk about what you’re up to or hear what others are up to. You soon realize people aren’t churning 24 hours a day like social media might have you think. I’ve recently joined an online community of creatives on Discord. I must say, it’s been brilliant. The Party Corgi network has been a game changer for me.

Broaden your scope. It’s so easy to lose track and become so focussed on your own little circle. I ended up randomly hopping around Twitch the other day. And I sat there and thought to myself, “This is brilliant”. There are so many creatives out there doing fantastic things, things I wasn’t even aware of. Why do I get so fixated on my own little bubble?

One tip that trumps all others? Be humble. You gain more from being positive. Good vibes breed good vibes. Plus, no one likes a hater.

To Conclude

It’s completely normal to feel a sense of pressure or get that horrible ‘imposter syndrome.’ But, don’t let it get to you. Do what you can and what you want to. Don’t sacrifice your health to get ahead. It’s OK to step away sometimes.

The next time you feel a little overwhelmed with things and feel that pressure coming for you. Have a chat with a family member, reach out to a colleague, even an online acquaintance. Maybe share it with folks at Smashing? I love seeing what people get up to.

If this is a career you plan on sticking with, what’s the rush? You might be doing this for tens of years. Embrace your journey. It’s not a race. For one thing, you might not even be on the same road.

Further Reading on SmashingMag:

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source http://www.scpie.org/its-good-to-talk-thoughts-and-feelings-on-creative-wellness/ source https://scpie.tumblr.com/post/623913046870507520

[scpie]

It’s Good To Talk: Thoughts And Feelings On Creative Wellness

About The Author

Jhey makes awesome things for awesome people! He’s a web developer with almost 10 years of experience. Working with and for names such as Eurostar, Uber, … More about Jhey …

With so much pressure to be our best selves and use every waking moment to develop skills, it’s easy to lose track of our own wellbeing. Self-improvement and commitment to your craft are great — but only if you find the right balance.

In fields as fast-paced and technical as web design and development, it’s easy to lose sight of our own wellbeing. For many, there’s a constant sense of trying to keep up or ahead. We may not even realize we’re doing it.

Ask yourself, when was the last time you stepped away for a day and didn’t think about coding or design for a day? For me, that’s very hard to answer. For many, it’s a vocation that we can’t switch on and off. We can’t turn it off at 5 or 6 PM. Let’s talk about that and ways we can deal with it.

It’s important to start right off the bat by saying this article isn’t a dictation. The aim here is to spark interest, engagement, and discussion. These are things that sometimes get lost in the whirlwind industry we are a part of. Different things work for different people, and these words are written with the best intentions.

Why now? I’d planned to write something about this topic at the tail end of last year. I was making my way back from my first NodeConfEU and feeling inspired by a talk I attended, “Building Open Source Communities with Tierney Cyren”.

I made a bunch of notes, then life and other commitments cropped up and the article made its way to the backburner. But, that’s OK. And that’s kind of where this post leads us to. It’s OK if you didn’t write that post, work on that side project this weekend, and so on.

Pressure Culture

If you’re reading this, odds are you’ve seen or experienced pressure culture — that constant, nagging expectation to dedicate every waking hour to skills development and side projects, even if your heart might not be in it. This pressure can be self-imposed, and whether we like it or not social media also plays a big part. If we aren’t careful, it can eat away at us.

Pressure culture isn’t something that’s popped up recently. It’s been around a long time, a constant looming external force. Left unchecked it can fill you with guilt, anxiety, and other feelings we aren’t fond of.

Work/Play balance by The Awkward Yeti. (Image source: theawkwardyeti.com) (Large preview)

This is a common result of the idea of ‘The ideal worker,’ with pressure coming from those higher up in workplace hierarchies. These ‘Never say no’ employees feel obliged to wear themselves thin in order to progress in their careers. There’s a great Harvard Business Review article called “Managing the High-Intensity Workplace” that explores this mindset.

Social media pressure is also very real. The tendency to idealize our online lives is well documented. We often forget that we are likely only looking at someone else’s highlight reel. That is true of work as well as play. If we forget that and spend a lot of time-consuming content from those we idolize, that pressure creeps in. We want to be as awesome as the people on our feed, but at what cost?

There was a period a little while back where tweets like this were quite frequent:

Get home.

Watch Netflix or do more coding learning?

Seems like a small decision.

For one night it is.

But multiplied over a year, this decision defines your future.

— 𝗪𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗚𝗲𝗲𝗸 (@WellPaidGeek) November 6, 2019

The message is completely understandable. Time is valuable. The hard truth is that if you want to get far in your career, prepare to put in the hours. Nothing gets handed out. Self-improvement and commitment to your craft are great, but only if you find the right balance.

Messages like those above put you under an enormous amount of pressure. That pressure isn’t healthy, and can actually hamper your development. It can lead to things like burnout and potentially, even depression. What is burnout? This study phrases it quite well:

“Burnout is a psychological syndrome characterized by emotional exhaustion, feelings of cynicism and reduced personal accomplishment.”

It’s not a nice place to be. I can speak from experience here. Feeling as if things are bearing down on you and you need to keep up. “I need to make that new thing or learn that new framework to keep up with my peers.” I remember seeing tweets from people. They’d say things like, “I missed a day of my bootcamp course. I’d better do double tonight.” This makes for sad reading. You don’t want to end up resenting what you do for a job.

Burnout cannot only impact your personal wellbeing, but can also affect other areas of your life. Does your work suffer as a result? Do you still have the energy to give it your full attention? How about that creative spark? Is it gone? We’ve all heard of writer’s block. Well, creative’s block is a thing too!

The above tweet was a great example of how social media can influence us. Read the responses and engagement. There’s an almost 50⁄50 split on how it’s perceived. This response from Chris Coyler was great:

I don’t mind the sentiment here, but don’t burn out!https://t.co/Ho7CPcamEb

Just last night I had some stuff in mind I really wanted to get done on the ol laptop but I was just too tired after putting the kid down so I literally watched Netflix and everything will be ok

— Chris Coyier (@chriscoyier) November 6, 2019

And it’s so true. It’s OK to sit back and not force yourself to work on things. It’s fine to take the night off, the week off, and so on. Those projects will still be there for you. They’re not going anywhere. You might even decide you don’t want to return to them at all, and that’s fine too! It’s all about balance.

With the pandemic and many of us in lockdown, this trend has reared its head again. I’ve seen my fair share of messages implying if you haven’t picked up new skills with your new free time, you’ve wasted it. As if it’s some kind of opportunity. Not that a global pandemic is exhausting enough right?

Hopes and Dreams by The Awkward Yeti. (Image source: theawkwardyeti.com) (Large preview)

Even now, pressure culture is not black and white. The free time gained where we had other commitments is an opportunity. An opportunity to try something new or do something we haven’t had the time for. It might be that that thing is ‘rest’. For me, my weekend commitments halted, so I decided to finally start streaming. And, I’ve loved it! Still, I try not to let it take up more time than my other commitments would. If it gets too much, I take a break and step away.

Handling Pressure Culture

Getting AFK (Away from keyboard)

How can we combat these feelings of pressure? It sounds like the opposite of what our minds tell us, but one way is to get away from that keyboard. Disconnect and go do something else. I’m not saying lock up your laptop for a week and go cold turkey, but a break does you good.

Go for a walk, read a book, do nothing! We already saw that Chris enjoys a night with Netflix! I myself recently picked up a stylus for the iPad so I can go chill out on a bean bag and sketch doodles. There’s also a 1000 piece puzzle laid out on a table downstairs that’s quite good to sit next to zone out with.

Yes, it’s difficult at the moment. We can’t make a trip to the theme park or the cinema or even hit the gym. But, we can still get AFK. Even sporadic breaks throughout the day can do you wonders. I often get up every once in a while and do a few handstands!

This is true even when the world isn’t in crisis. Getting away from things can be great for you. It’s not healthy to tie yourself to the same thing 24 hours a day. Step back, broaden your scope, and appreciate that there’s so much more on offer for you. Close this tab and get away now if you’d like. I’d prefer it if you stuck around until the end, though.

Getting AFK pic.twitter.com/tXSxB52gLk

— Jhey (@jh3yy) June 14, 2020

It might not even be a case of getting physically AFK either. There’s a Slack community I’m in that has this notion of ‘fun laptop time’ which is an interesting idea. Have a separate machine that you can unwind on or do other things on. One that isn’t logged in to social media perhaps? One that you can do ‘fun’ things on. Maybe that is still coding something or creative writing or watching a live stream. The possibilities are endless.

Give yourself space to live away from your work. This article on Lifehacker cites the case that taking up something new can help with burnout. I can relate to that too. Scheduling something completely unrelated to work is quite good at this. For me, I know when the season is in full swing, I’ll be spending some of my Saturdays AFK running around a field.

Footballlll! 🥳 pic.twitter.com/0c1XEIQMBu

— Jhey (@jh3yy) July 14, 2020

With AFK, we’re mainly referring to sitting at a desk with a physical keyboard. Odds are, if you have a smartphone, the little digital one on that isn’t far away. A FOMO tip that might seem counterintuitive is to share being AFK. Share what you’re up to with people. It might surprise you how much people appreciate seeing others getting AFK. Rachel’s been plane spotting for example!

Just picked this up on my PiAware tracker and watched it go overhead. https://t.co/MHPoXlPzmZ

— Rachel Andrew (@rachelandrew) May 28, 2020

Please Talk

And that leads us to the title of this post. It’s good to talk. Is there a stigma attached to talking about our feelings and struggles? Yes. Should there be? Hell no!

FOMO, burnout, depression, anxiety, and so on. They’re all real things and likely touch more of us than we know. I listen to various podcasts. I remember one in which the speaker and guest spoke about almost an obsession with chasing goals. When you reach that goal, you hit a low. Maybe it didn’t fill that void you were hoping for? But, although I wasn’t having a conversation with them, hearing that did me some good. It was relatable.

I’d had this feeling inside, never expressing it. Now I knew it wasn’t uncommon. So I spoke about it with other people, and they could relate too. One big example for me was buying my house. It had been a goal for a year or so to get on the property ladder. Once I got the keys, it was a bit deflating. But, I should’ve been super happy about it.

Return of Me by The Awkward Yeti. (Image source: theawkwardyeti.com) (Large preview)

We could all bottle those things up. But, speaking about things and getting your thoughts out can go some way in taking the pressure off. Another perspective can really help you out! It might be hearing something as little as ‘I do that too’ or ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re doing great!’ that can go a long way. It’s not that you’re fishing for compliments, but it sometimes takes that other perspective to bring you back to reality.

Now don’t get me wrong. Talking about things is easier said than done, but the results might surprise you. Based on my own experience and others I’ve spoken to, here are some things you can do to combat those negative feelings.

Be willing to take the first step. Interaction doesn’t have to be a dying art. It won’t work for everyone and you can’t force others to embrace it. There will be those who do, though, people who feel exactly the same and were looking for someone to talk to.

Speak more openly. I’ve personally been terrible at this and I don’t mind admitting it. I’m getting better though. I speak more openly with those I engage with both on and offline and I’m happier for it. The takeaway being that there’s no shame in being yourself and doing what you want to do. If you’re being made to feel that way, it could be a good time to shift your circle or change up those you engage with. One nifty tip if you work remotely and feel isolated during the day is to set a reminder for yourself. For example, set a reminder every day at noon to reach out to people. This is quite effective. Most IM services can do this. For example, with Slack: /remind me "Reach out to people!" every weekday at 12:00 pm

If it can’t be offline, take it online. You don’t have to speak to people in person. Hop on a call with someone. Or even a video call. There are also so many online communities out there now too. If you don’t want to talk about how you feel, it’s great to even talk about what you’re up to or hear what others are up to. You soon realize people aren’t churning 24 hours a day like social media might have you think. I’ve recently joined an online community of creatives on Discord. I must say, it’s been brilliant. The Party Corgi network has been a game changer for me.

Broaden your scope. It’s so easy to lose track and become so focussed on your own little circle. I ended up randomly hopping around Twitch the other day. And I sat there and thought to myself, “This is brilliant”. There are so many creatives out there doing fantastic things, things I wasn’t even aware of. Why do I get so fixated on my own little bubble?

One tip that trumps all others? Be humble. You gain more from being positive. Good vibes breed good vibes. Plus, no one likes a hater.

To Conclude

It’s completely normal to feel a sense of pressure or get that horrible ‘imposter syndrome.’ But, don’t let it get to you. Do what you can and what you want to. Don’t sacrifice your health to get ahead. It’s OK to step away sometimes.

The next time you feel a little overwhelmed with things and feel that pressure coming for you. Have a chat with a family member, reach out to a colleague, even an online acquaintance. Maybe share it with folks at Smashing? I love seeing what people get up to.

If this is a career you plan on sticking with, what’s the rush? You might be doing this for tens of years. Embrace your journey. It’s not a race. For one thing, you might not even be on the same road.

Further Reading on SmashingMag:

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It’s Good To Talk: Thoughts And Feelings On Creative Wellness

About The Author

Jhey makes awesome things for awesome people! He’s a web developer with almost 10 years of experience. Working with and for names such as Eurostar, Uber, … More about Jhey …

With so much pressure to be our best selves and use every waking moment to develop skills, it’s easy to lose track of our own wellbeing. Self-improvement and commitment to your craft are great — but only if you find the right balance.

In fields as fast-paced and technical as web design and development, it’s easy to lose sight of our own wellbeing. For many, there’s a constant sense of trying to keep up or ahead. We may not even realize we’re doing it.

Ask yourself, when was the last time you stepped away for a day and didn’t think about coding or design for a day? For me, that’s very hard to answer. For many, it’s a vocation that we can’t switch on and off. We can’t turn it off at 5 or 6 PM. Let’s talk about that and ways we can deal with it.

It’s important to start right off the bat by saying this article isn’t a dictation. The aim here is to spark interest, engagement, and discussion. These are things that sometimes get lost in the whirlwind industry we are a part of. Different things work for different people, and these words are written with the best intentions.

Why now? I’d planned to write something about this topic at the tail end of last year. I was making my way back from my first NodeConfEU and feeling inspired by a talk I attended, “Building Open Source Communities with Tierney Cyren”.

I made a bunch of notes, then life and other commitments cropped up and the article made its way to the backburner. But, that’s OK. And that’s kind of where this post leads us to. It’s OK if you didn’t write that post, work on that side project this weekend, and so on.

Pressure Culture

If you’re reading this, odds are you’ve seen or experienced pressure culture — that constant, nagging expectation to dedicate every waking hour to skills development and side projects, even if your heart might not be in it. This pressure can be self-imposed, and whether we like it or not social media also plays a big part. If we aren’t careful, it can eat away at us.

Pressure culture isn’t something that’s popped up recently. It’s been around a long time, a constant looming external force. Left unchecked it can fill you with guilt, anxiety, and other feelings we aren’t fond of.

Work/Play balance by The Awkward Yeti. (Image source: theawkwardyeti.com) (Large preview)

This is a common result of the idea of ‘The ideal worker,’ with pressure coming from those higher up in workplace hierarchies. These ‘Never say no’ employees feel obliged to wear themselves thin in order to progress in their careers. There’s a great Harvard Business Review article called “Managing the High-Intensity Workplace” that explores this mindset.

Social media pressure is also very real. The tendency to idealize our online lives is well documented. We often forget that we are likely only looking at someone else’s highlight reel. That is true of work as well as play. If we forget that and spend a lot of time-consuming content from those we idolize, that pressure creeps in. We want to be as awesome as the people on our feed, but at what cost?

There was a period a little while back where tweets like this were quite frequent:

Get home.

Watch Netflix or do more coding learning?

Seems like a small decision.

For one night it is.

But multiplied over a year, this decision defines your future.

— 𝗪𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗚𝗲𝗲𝗸 (@WellPaidGeek) November 6, 2019

The message is completely understandable. Time is valuable. The hard truth is that if you want to get far in your career, prepare to put in the hours. Nothing gets handed out. Self-improvement and commitment to your craft are great, but only if you find the right balance.

Messages like those above put you under an enormous amount of pressure. That pressure isn’t healthy, and can actually hamper your development. It can lead to things like burnout and potentially, even depression. What is burnout? This study phrases it quite well:

“Burnout is a psychological syndrome characterized by emotional exhaustion, feelings of cynicism and reduced personal accomplishment.”

It’s not a nice place to be. I can speak from experience here. Feeling as if things are bearing down on you and you need to keep up. “I need to make that new thing or learn that new framework to keep up with my peers.” I remember seeing tweets from people. They’d say things like, “I missed a day of my bootcamp course. I’d better do double tonight.” This makes for sad reading. You don’t want to end up resenting what you do for a job.

Burnout cannot only impact your personal wellbeing, but can also affect other areas of your life. Does your work suffer as a result? Do you still have the energy to give it your full attention? How about that creative spark? Is it gone? We’ve all heard of writer’s block. Well, creative’s block is a thing too!

The above tweet was a great example of how social media can influence us. Read the responses and engagement. There’s an almost 50⁄50 split on how it’s perceived. This response from Chris Coyler was great:

I don’t mind the sentiment here, but don’t burn out!https://t.co/Ho7CPcamEb

Just last night I had some stuff in mind I really wanted to get done on the ol laptop but I was just too tired after putting the kid down so I literally watched Netflix and everything will be ok

— Chris Coyier (@chriscoyier) November 6, 2019

And it’s so true. It’s OK to sit back and not force yourself to work on things. It’s fine to take the night off, the week off, and so on. Those projects will still be there for you. They’re not going anywhere. You might even decide you don’t want to return to them at all, and that’s fine too! It’s all about balance.

With the pandemic and many of us in lockdown, this trend has reared its head again. I’ve seen my fair share of messages implying if you haven’t picked up new skills with your new free time, you’ve wasted it. As if it’s some kind of opportunity. Not that a global pandemic is exhausting enough right?

Hopes and Dreams by The Awkward Yeti. (Image source: theawkwardyeti.com) (Large preview)

Even now, pressure culture is not black and white. The free time gained where we had other commitments is an opportunity. An opportunity to try something new or do something we haven’t had the time for. It might be that that thing is ‘rest’. For me, my weekend commitments halted, so I decided to finally start streaming. And, I’ve loved it! Still, I try not to let it take up more time than my other commitments would. If it gets too much, I take a break and step away.

Handling Pressure Culture

Getting AFK (Away from keyboard)

How can we combat these feelings of pressure? It sounds like the opposite of what our minds tell us, but one way is to get away from that keyboard. Disconnect and go do something else. I’m not saying lock up your laptop for a week and go cold turkey, but a break does you good.

Go for a walk, read a book, do nothing! We already saw that Chris enjoys a night with Netflix! I myself recently picked up a stylus for the iPad so I can go chill out on a bean bag and sketch doodles. There’s also a 1000 piece puzzle laid out on a table downstairs that’s quite good to sit next to zone out with.

Yes, it’s difficult at the moment. We can’t make a trip to the theme park or the cinema or even hit the gym. But, we can still get AFK. Even sporadic breaks throughout the day can do you wonders. I often get up every once in a while and do a few handstands!

This is true even when the world isn’t in crisis. Getting away from things can be great for you. It’s not healthy to tie yourself to the same thing 24 hours a day. Step back, broaden your scope, and appreciate that there’s so much more on offer for you. Close this tab and get away now if you’d like. I’d prefer it if you stuck around until the end, though.

Getting AFK pic.twitter.com/tXSxB52gLk

— Jhey (@jh3yy) June 14, 2020

It might not even be a case of getting physically AFK either. There’s a Slack community I’m in that has this notion of ‘fun laptop time’ which is an interesting idea. Have a separate machine that you can unwind on or do other things on. One that isn’t logged in to social media perhaps? One that you can do ‘fun’ things on. Maybe that is still coding something or creative writing or watching a live stream. The possibilities are endless.

Give yourself space to live away from your work. This article on Lifehacker cites the case that taking up something new can help with burnout. I can relate to that too. Scheduling something completely unrelated to work is quite good at this. For me, I know when the season is in full swing, I’ll be spending some of my Saturdays AFK running around a field.

Footballlll! 🥳 pic.twitter.com/0c1XEIQMBu

— Jhey (@jh3yy) July 14, 2020

With AFK, we’re mainly referring to sitting at a desk with a physical keyboard. Odds are, if you have a smartphone, the little digital one on that isn’t far away. A FOMO tip that might seem counterintuitive is to share being AFK. Share what you’re up to with people. It might surprise you how much people appreciate seeing others getting AFK. Rachel’s been plane spotting for example!

Just picked this up on my PiAware tracker and watched it go overhead. https://t.co/MHPoXlPzmZ

— Rachel Andrew (@rachelandrew) May 28, 2020

Please Talk

And that leads us to the title of this post. It’s good to talk. Is there a stigma attached to talking about our feelings and struggles? Yes. Should there be? Hell no!

FOMO, burnout, depression, anxiety, and so on. They’re all real things and likely touch more of us than we know. I listen to various podcasts. I remember one in which the speaker and guest spoke about almost an obsession with chasing goals. When you reach that goal, you hit a low. Maybe it didn’t fill that void you were hoping for? But, although I wasn’t having a conversation with them, hearing that did me some good. It was relatable.

I’d had this feeling inside, never expressing it. Now I knew it wasn’t uncommon. So I spoke about it with other people, and they could relate too. One big example for me was buying my house. It had been a goal for a year or so to get on the property ladder. Once I got the keys, it was a bit deflating. But, I should’ve been super happy about it.

Return of Me by The Awkward Yeti. (Image source: theawkwardyeti.com) (Large preview)

We could all bottle those things up. But, speaking about things and getting your thoughts out can go some way in taking the pressure off. Another perspective can really help you out! It might be hearing something as little as ‘I do that too’ or ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re doing great!’ that can go a long way. It’s not that you’re fishing for compliments, but it sometimes takes that other perspective to bring you back to reality.

Now don’t get me wrong. Talking about things is easier said than done, but the results might surprise you. Based on my own experience and others I’ve spoken to, here are some things you can do to combat those negative feelings.

Be willing to take the first step. Interaction doesn’t have to be a dying art. It won’t work for everyone and you can’t force others to embrace it. There will be those who do, though, people who feel exactly the same and were looking for someone to talk to.

Speak more openly. I’ve personally been terrible at this and I don’t mind admitting it. I’m getting better though. I speak more openly with those I engage with both on and offline and I’m happier for it. The takeaway being that there’s no shame in being yourself and doing what you want to do. If you’re being made to feel that way, it could be a good time to shift your circle or change up those you engage with. One nifty tip if you work remotely and feel isolated during the day is to set a reminder for yourself. For example, set a reminder every day at noon to reach out to people. This is quite effective. Most IM services can do this. For example, with Slack: /remind me "Reach out to people!" every weekday at 12:00 pm

If it can’t be offline, take it online. You don’t have to speak to people in person. Hop on a call with someone. Or even a video call. There are also so many online communities out there now too. If you don’t want to talk about how you feel, it’s great to even talk about what you’re up to or hear what others are up to. You soon realize people aren’t churning 24 hours a day like social media might have you think. I’ve recently joined an online community of creatives on Discord. I must say, it’s been brilliant. The Party Corgi network has been a game changer for me.

Broaden your scope. It’s so easy to lose track and become so focussed on your own little circle. I ended up randomly hopping around Twitch the other day. And I sat there and thought to myself, “This is brilliant”. There are so many creatives out there doing fantastic things, things I wasn’t even aware of. Why do I get so fixated on my own little bubble?

One tip that trumps all others? Be humble. You gain more from being positive. Good vibes breed good vibes. Plus, no one likes a hater.

To Conclude

It’s completely normal to feel a sense of pressure or get that horrible ‘imposter syndrome.’ But, don’t let it get to you. Do what you can and what you want to. Don’t sacrifice your health to get ahead. It’s OK to step away sometimes.

The next time you feel a little overwhelmed with things and feel that pressure coming for you. Have a chat with a family member, reach out to a colleague, even an online acquaintance. Maybe share it with folks at Smashing? I love seeing what people get up to.

If this is a career you plan on sticking with, what’s the rush? You might be doing this for tens of years. Embrace your journey. It’s not a race. For one thing, you might not even be on the same road.

Further Reading on SmashingMag:

(fb, yk, il)

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source http://www.scpie.org/its-good-to-talk-thoughts-and-feelings-on-creative-wellness/ source https://scpie1.blogspot.com/2020/07/its-good-to-talk-thoughts-and-feelings.html

[watchmanis216]

Sweeping the Mean Streets “Liberal Bigotry in action”

To those who would herald America on a different course, let them be warned for this ship, of state, although it is in need of repair; knows today no other equal for a nation to be so thought of as a Free and Full place for individuals to live without fear of government intrusion. Yet to this degree, America is in danger and for the last 8 years the attack on the veracity of our constitution and of our government; as well as, the rights of individuals has also be threatened by those in power; in office, and pursuing a course to destroy our great erstwhile nation!   The Watchman Dana G Smith

Alexander Hamilton: “If it were to be asked, ‘What is the most sacred duty and the greatest source of our security in a Republic?’ The answer would be, ‘An inviolable respect for the Constitution and Laws — the first growing out of the last. … A sacred respect for the constitutional law is the vital principle, the sustaining energy of a free government. … [T]he present Constitution is the standard to which we are to cling. Under its banners, bona fide must we combat our political foes — rejecting all changes but through the channel itself provides for amendments.“

Sweeping the Mean Streets “Liberal Bigotry in action”

Originally entitled Yankee Doodle, this is one of several versions of a scene painted by A. M. Willard that came to be known as The Spirit of ’76. Often imitated or parodied, it is a familiar symbol of American patriotism. Public Domain,

Jer_10:10 But the LORD is the true God, he is the living God, and an everlasting king: at his wrath the earth shall tremble, and the nations shall not be able to abide his indignation.

‘America is way past the crossroads of survival

A Fourth of July fireworks display at the Washington Monument. Location: WASHINGTON, DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA (DC) UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (USA). By Camera Operator: SSGT. LONO KOLLARS, Public Domain

Blacks and Hispanics Burn the American flag

Do it! Vote Republican Platform gives hope for a battered America DanaGlennSmith.com

One of the things that has gone on in this election that has in my recent memory not been there is the unmitigated hate and bias that has dogged this process. The large amount of this has been focused on Donald Trump. Now while he campaigned, pushing for those issues that finally got him the win over Hillary, the multitude of voices raised high against him. Yet for those of us who watched this election it was about a hate, not on Donald Trumps part; but on the liberal media and those who for eight years [almost] have stood with a liberal hack job of socialist change brought about by Barack Hussein Obama. Donald simply said those things that many were thinking and wanted to change. Many did not like Obama’s action of just signing documents into law with no say from congress. On top of that we found that Obama’s own bias against Israel stood out and especially his hate for Netanyahu. But this is pale in comparison to Obama’s hatred for the America that I grew up in! To this end, his socialist brand was pushed and heralded by the liberal media as well.

Donald Trump Make America Great

Donald Trump the winner read this!

But I find that all this is pale in comparison to the jackass Republican elite led by the Bushes and others who simply refused to see what the voters saw in Donald Trump.  This was the same jackass Republican Elite who dishonored Ron Paul and his delegates when the national convention arrived. This act alone separated many from the Republican brand. However, in regard to Donald Trump there is this plain fact. Trump was not one of them, he was gathering a coalition of support from Reagan Democrats, liberals, conservatives, Christians, and others [including Republicans] who saw that this man could at least try to change some important issues that were on the forefront of the minds of many.

Be sure to read this on www.warn-usa.com  ‘There is no Throne in America nor should there be power inherited through genes‘

Upfront was the open border idiocy of Barack Obama and the enforcement of that policy made it impossible to stem the tide of illegal, law breaking people swarming into this country. Obama never saw that, in fact during the election he called on the ‘illegals to go vote’. Hillary was one who spent all her time pushing the agenda of Obama, saying she would finish his work. While at the same time smacking Donald over old issues that the Liberal press; all of whom were ‘in her corner’. Donald became a target for every liberal, conservative hating voter, and wall hanger in America. Everyone was against Donald Trump: The republican elites, the liberals, those leaders overseas whose globalism felt threatened over someone like Donald Trump, and many others. It was a dog pile on Trump and no one knew he would be elected.

Trump never quit but kept pushing in spite of the fact the liberal dogs in the media said he had no chance!

THEY WERE WRONG!

TRUMP BEAT

……….little Hillary

No wonder Hillary was so upset in her loss to Trump, she believed the very liberal media who cajoled her and sided with her!

Now they want to remove the electoral college, they want the electors to vote against Trump. The streets continue in some areas to be filled with disenfranchised Hillary lovers. The spoiled, left-wing agenda lovers have had their own way during Barack Hussein Obama’s reign; however this is over. Now the very ones who have condemned Trump of bigotry riot in the streets as they show contempt for the election process and those who voted for him. His coalition of support includes Blacks, LGBTQ, Jews, Whites, Conservatives, Democrats, Republicans, and others. So while your throwing stones and hurling Molotov cocktails at police cars and businesses; remember your own bias and hate is showing. It also shows your contempt for Law and Order, not to mention civility!

For more on the Electoral College and why it matters read this post [if you can get enough courage to read the truth]!

Today though, I thought you needed to read this from Jared Kushner who is a jew, a son of holocaust victims and survivors. He knows Donald Trump and thus his word on it is below. He is Editor of the Observer.

Click the preview below or here Jared Kushner: The Donald Trump I know!

  http://unitycoalitionforisrael.org/?p=19498

Now While we don’t know yet if Donald Trump can indeed change America. Make no mistake there are millions who opposed Barack Hussein Obama’s rule of liberal socialism. His shutting down of carbon industries, coal plants, and oil. His preference against Israel, and his openness to allow in Muslim refugee’s over Christians.  So Trumps agenda is not his own, it is ours as well and frankly we do not like what Obama has done and we care less about the idiocy in the liberal media who dogged Trump at every footstep he took.

As for the Media missing the plane as Trump took off without them, or him going to the Restaurant to be with friends and family without the liberal media dogs; so be it. As for me if I were President and in Trumps place I would leave your butts behind every-time in the press pool coffee lounge. Why would I take you along with me after I won since your own bias rallied against me at every step.

Tough luck!

I suggest Trump bring Worldnetdaily, Breitbart, Infowars, and many other news organizations who were not so led away with their own godhood of liberalism and anti-Trump fodder.

Sweeping the Mean Streets “Liberal Bigotry in action” A Commentary and Headline news by The Watchman Dana Glenn Smith

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WIBR/WARN Radio is an end time, preaching, teaching, advocacy, and warning agency heralding in the second coming of Jesus Christ to this earth. We cover many news items on the persecuted church and are advocates for those being persecuted overseas. About WIBR/WARN Radio page here WIBR/WARN Websites are www.warn-usa.com, www.warn-radio.com, www.wingswatchman.org and have been combined into one large resource depository which can be heard worldwide.Hear us Worldwide: Info Here! Proclaiming The ‘Truth’ found in the Word of God. Biblical, indepth, prophetic, pulling no punches regarding God’s Word . Visit the ‘Writers Life’ Blog www.danaglennsmith.com on DanaGlennSmith.com

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“They Overcame by the Blood of the Lamb, the Word of their Testimony, and they Loved not their lives unto the death!” Revelation 12:11 Sweeping the Mean Streets “Liberal Bigotry in action”

Sweeping the Mean Streets “Liberal Bigotry in action” Sweeping the Mean Streets "Liberal Bigotry in action" To those who would herald America on a different course, let them be warned for this ship, of state, although it is in need of repair; knows today no other equal for a nation to be so thought of as a Free and Full place for individuals to live without fear of government intrusion.

[gobrandrootweb]

Bottle Digging • bottle digging adventure part 1

As my farm permission will soon be in crop my attentions will turn to my other passion which is bottle digging .It has been a much overlooked hobby mainly with the difficulty in finding decent accessible tips and of course my age . The mind wants to do it but the body doesn't always play ball . Digging holes 8 - 10 feet down is fine at the time but not so good the next morning but the passion spurs me on . One tip I dig on a semi regular basis has just about had its day and soon I began to wonder if I would ever get lucky again .My fortunes though were soon to change while scouring the stall of a local rural carboot sale one cold grey morning .I love these places and have purchased many spades , shovels and forks , all good decent bits of kit most likely ex farm workers tools. These will last a lifetime unlike the cheap mega store offerings which have a tendency to suddenly snap without warning leaving the unwary shocked and bewildered while holding the handle in one hand while the business end is stuck firmly in the ground . These are some of the typical bits of kit purchased at various car boots , all good strong stuff , just the job for digging holes . The bottle probe is one I made from sprung steel and the cross bar is an old tube of aluminium .

bottle dig spades.jpg

This mornings carboot foray was a little different , more of a nosey around and soon proved to be a good move . I spotted a seller with a tidy array of bottles and ignoring the wifes heavy sigh I soon hot footed it over to get a closer look .We got chatting , I couldn't resist the three poisons and at a couple of quid each , they were too good to decline .

3 poison bottles.jpg

Part of the ever growing collection bottles shelf.jpg Still ignoring the wifes raised eyebrows as yet another purchase of even more bottles the conversation soon turned to tips . Bemoaning the fact that they are getting hard to find I was taken aback when the seller very kindly told me of another not too far away . A rough sketch was soon doodled out and he handed me the bit of paper. In kindness I bought another bottle ! The wifes glazed expression , bordering on utter fury was soon quelled to a relative comfortable degree when I at once purchased her a much needed cup of tea , it was the least I could do under the circumstances . The Tea must have done the trick because a more friendlyish expression was now more prominent . I am not sure whether my next move was down to pure excitement at the prospect of a new tip , Bravado or plain old foolishness but I tentatively asked if we could possibly go and have a look and find this new tip . I do recall whincing ever so slightly while waiting for the inevitable fury to erupt so I was mildly taken aback when when a semi sigh and an OK was forthcoming . Off we went and mateys map was spot on . We arrived at the track with a vehicle barrier to prevent access by car so it was an on foot job . There was no way she was coming with me so I was on my own .One thing bothered me , there was some stables at the end and I could quite clearly see a woman loading up a 4x4 . Now not wishing to make anyone feel uncomfortable but a man , walking down a dirt track in the middle of nowhere doesn't bode well . If I had my dogs , then I am seen as just a dog walker , if the wife was by my side , no problem , just a couple out for a walk but it was way to slushy and she did not have the right footwear anyhow . The wife saved the day with some quick thinking ." here , take these " and offered me her binoculars which she uses for birdwatching " tell her your looking for Marsh Harriers "! Good thinking , so off I went . All was good with the lady , I wasn't trespassing and yes there are plenty of Marsh Harriers although I didn't see any ! Through the woods as scrawled on the map , through some old gates and there I was in the new tip . Had a good look around , some remnants of bottle digging but good to see the huge craters filled back up . So , my new venture begins this Sunday !

Statistics: Posted by kenleyboy — Thu May 03, 2018 5:44 pm

Bottle Digging • bottle digging adventure part 1 published first on https://pickmymetaldetector.tumblr.com/

[todayandtodayandtoday]

eight keys, part one

ToSo A. gave me this book yesterday, 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder, by the founder of Monte Nido. Today I woke up hella motivated, for once, so I started reading it. I think I’m going to try doing some assignments from it (in order, as I read cover-to-cover, because I’m not quite self-aware enough to decide concretely what I should and shouldn’t do), and put them on this blog. I’m also going to try to make this blog more active (no literally listen I knew that journal entry was going to be like The Only One I Made but ok. i’m back. for now.) and encourage myself to post on it by not just journaling on here but also reblogging recovery shit! Anyway.

writing assignment: your worst eating disorder day

Whew. There’s been a few. My thoughts go first to a day in November of last year – I have a memory like a sieve, so I’m making shit up right here, but I can imagine what the worst day probably was like. I would have gone to sleep the night before at ten or eleven, after trying to do my homework and eventually giving up before even starting. I’d have woken up to Orion’s claws in my toes at least twice or three times, and lain awake in bed from about 5 AM to 6AM before dropping back off until 7:30. I’d have spent ten or twelve of the twenty minutes I had before I had to go getting dressed fashionably and body-checking in the mirror and putting on lipstick, before rushing to my car, getting panicked when I couldn’t find it, and driving (speeding) to work. Chances are I forgot to take my meds. Let’s say this is a Thursday – I work until 9:30, hands shaking as I count pills, exchanging wisecracks with Deb, then feel enormously guilty and enormously relieved as I shuck my lab coat and dash back to my car. I park at the science center, and (if I’m not late already) grab a coffee from the Leaky Beaker before settling in for class. It’s Human Biology on Thursday mornings, so I settle into my creaky chair with my notebook and sketchbook in front of me, and listen with one ear to things I already know and triggering topics while I write down a bullet point every five minutes and draw and erase and draw and erase. Rinse and repeat for Abnormal Psych; I didn’t do the reading, so I’m learning everything like new and raising my hand to offer answers that I only get from personal experience.

I’ll walk out of the room at 12:20 and pause for a moment. Take a deep breath, my first of the day. Maybe sit in the Leaky for ten minutes, fighting off the lethargy in my limbs. Consider grabbing lunch; consider the long walk to Stone-D or Bates or, god forbid, tower; consider the Leaky or El Table; convince myself I don’t have money to spare for food; resolve not to eat. I’ll do the reading for my French class if I’m feeling particularly energetic and capable; if not, I’ll just slump in a chair and read on my phone until 1:25.

French class, always the same: skim-read the poems we were assigned and formulate opinions and analyses for them as we discuss. Stumble over my spoken French and feel horrendously inept; compare my body to what’s-her-face’s and my outfit to Sydney’s and doodle body-positive nudes in the margins of my book. If it’s Thursday, I get out of class at quarter to three; I’ll consider the impending Quidditch practice and wilt a little inside. Trudge to Munger and play with Orion, or play video games, or read more. If it’s a really good day, I might stop off at Pom for a bowl of cottage cheese and jam or a slice of bread with butter, but chances are that I’m already breathing hard when I reach Munger, and going up another hill is just too much for me. Maybe I’ll go to Quidditch practice at 5, in which case I’ll bounce off the walls with enthusiasm and socialization and push my body way farther than it can or should go; maybe I’ll skip it, curl up into a ball and do nothing.

Either way, I’ve got choir at 6, which means reapplying my lipstick and practically running to the chapel. I socialize for five minutes, accepting and giving compliments on appearance and memeing about with Shannon or discussing video games with Mackenzie. Choir practice is an hour and a half of struggling to focus, trying to doodle inconspicuously, and being so, so self-conscious of the sound of my own voice. Afterwards comes choir dinner, so I’ll go to Stone-D with everyone else, serve myself a small plate of food, and pick at it. Maybe finish half of it on a good day. I don’t want to be left alone to my thoughts and my homicidal cat, so I’ll extend an invitation to people to do pub night or just hang out and do homework. It’s inevitably declined, so I sulk back to Munger on my own, feeling unaccountably lonely. Feed Orion, maybe nibble on some candy or dried fruit if I have it, and back to our usual free-time activities of tumblr, reading, video games, and (if I have an assignment that I have to turn in, and if I don’t start to have a panic attack just thinking about it) homework. Inevitably, I’ll get overwhelmed with everything I have to do at some point, and cut myself while I read or watch Netflix. Multi-tasking, right? I didn’t have classes on Fridays last semester, so I’d maybe have a drink and maybe go to sleep late, knowing that I’ll wake up late tomorrow before a full day of work.

…Jesus. Jesus.

I wasn’t happy, was I? I felt like I was doing fine, but I can see in retrospect that I was doing ten times more than I should have, dropping weight like it was hot, losing energy like a leaky faucet, and seesawing rapidly between energetic euphoria and absolute exhaustion. It wasn’t sustainable. It wasn’t livable. It wasn’t enjoyable.

That’s what my eating disorder does to me.

Food (hah) for thought.

Stats (although it’s only 1:05 PM and I’ve been awake for, what, two hours?):

Today I have eaten:

(breakfast) coffee, vitamin water, about a half a cup of mac and cheese, about half a cup of french fries, and about a cup of steamed broccoli.

(snack) before I go to French this afternoon, I’m planning on eating that apple that’s still on my desk. Maybe a handful of peanuts, too.

Body positivity at 35%. I drew flowers on my arm in Sharpie last night, though, and I like looking at that.

Urges (1-10):

Suicidal: 0

Self-harm: 7

Restriction: 6

Purging: 4

Days since I’ve last self-harmed: 7

To do: memorize la jeune veuve by 3 today, put together a tattoo ref board/maybe draw a little somethin somethin, clean the litterbox, wash tupperware, think about cultural appropriation at monte nido, wgst reading for monday, finish that one drawing on the tablet