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genshin-impact-writings · 2 years ago

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Can i ask for "need a shoulder to cry on?" for Xiao x reader pls? ❤️ I'd love if reader could say the prompt but either way is fine

You have no idea how glad I am that someone requested this prompt for Xiao! The new quest made me so emotional, so I'm happy that I got the chance to write some hurt/comfort for our beloved Yaksha. With that being said, I really hope you like the fic! <3 This doesn't contain any spoilers for the new quest, btw.

Prompt: "Need a shoulder to cry on?"

I’ll stand by you – Xiao x gn!reader

Dihua Marsh always seemed to be one of the most peaceful places at night. A wide plain, softly illuminated by the light of the full moon that reflected in the rippling water. It could have been a beautiful sight, really. But Xiao knew exactly that Dihua Marsh was far from peaceful, even in a night like this. Somewhere out there, well hidden in the shadows of the night, evil was always lurking, patiently waiting for him to let his guard down. He needed to be prepared to fight – even more so when he knew that you were sound asleep in the room behind him.

With a quiet sigh, Xiao crossed his arms in front of his chest. For so many years, he had guarded this land, determined to protect it from all harm. He still remembered that once upon a time, he hadn’t been the only one to guard Liyue. Now, he was the only one left. And sometimes, it really felt like he was carrying the weight of the entire world on his shoulders.

Of course, he had you, and you had become his new reason to fight long before he had realized that he had fallen in love with you, but there was only so much you could do to support him. And while he was incredibly thankful for everything you did for him, Xiao knew that you would never be able to fully understand him and his struggles. Not that he blamed you for it – if anyone were to blame, it would probably be him since he had never told you the whole story. Not because he didn’t trust you but because it wasn’t your responsibility to carry this burden. It was his, and his alone, and he’d rather suffer on silence than put his frustrations on struggles on someone as precious as you. You deserved nothing but happiness – and he would never allow himself to destroy that happiness, even if it meant that he had continue hiding his pain from you.

And yet, he couldn’t deny that it was hard living like this. Sometimes, even the Vigilant Yaksha, the praised Conqueror of Demons, felt like it was all too much to bear. Perhaps – no, most certainly – it would help to talk about it but the other Yakshas were gone, and he didn’t dare burdening Rex Lapis – or Zhongli, as he called himself now – with his sorrows. Although he probably wouldn’t mind lending Xiao a listening ear… but no. He tried to live an ordinary, mortal life now, and listening to one of the Yakshas pouring out his heart was far from ordinary, at least in Xiao’s opinion.

The sound of footsteps behind him snapped him out of his thoughts. In the blink of an eye, he tensed up, spinning around, ready to lunge at the unexpected intruder but when he recognized you, sleep still in your eyes, his muscles relaxed, gaze turning soft. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” you replied with a quiet yawn. “I woke up and you weren’t there, so I decided to check on you. It wasn’t too hard to figure out where you’re hiding.”

A moment he contemplated telling you that he wasn’t hiding but it would be more than nitpicky to argue against your choice of words. Besides, the genuine concern in your voice was already enough to make him melt on the spot, and he wasn’t sure if he could form a proper sentence now anyways. He just wasn’t used to someone caring about him like you did, and the fact that you got up in the middle of the night just because he hadn’t been lying next to you almost made him tear up and burst into a smile at the same time. It was a weird feeling, really, but it was a nice change from the restlessness he had felt just a couple of moments by you.

Feeling loved by you was indefinitely better than the constant worries and doubts that usually occupied his mind.

“What’s wrong, hm?” you asked softly, taking another step towards him, so that you could get a better look at his face. “It’s way past midnight, and you should be resting.”

“It’s nothing,” Xiao replied. “I was just… thinking about something.”

You hummed in response as you let your hand trail over his back until it rested right between his shoulder blades, warm and comforting on his skin, even through the fabric of his shirt. He leaned into your touch ever so slightly, his eyes fluttering closed for a couple of seconds. “I’m fine,” he eventually repeated quietly. “Really.”

“You don’t have to pretend when you’re with me, Xiao.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know that there are a lot of things that keep you awake at night,” you said with a frown. “Yet, when I ask you, you always tell me that you’re fine, even when you’re clearly not. I know you want to protect me and everything but… you don’t have to. I just – listen, you can be vulnerable with me, okay? I might not be much of a help with solving these issues but at least, I can be there for you and listen to you if you need someone to talk.”

There was a long silence, then. Xiao stared out into the night once again, gaze focused on something only he could see, clenching his fists by his side. As it seemed, he hadn’t been as good at hiding his feelings as he had always thought. But then again, it wasn’t unexpected that you were able to see right through him. You were an acute observer, unlike most people he had met, so he really shouldn’t be surprised. But he couldn’t deny that your words took him by surprise.

“I don’t want to be a burden,” Xiao finally said. You shook your head at his response. “But you’re not. Not in the slightest. Xiao, I love you with all my heart and I want to be there for you. You don’t have to deal with everything on your own. I’m here.”

He sighed. “I know.”

“You can put all of these things on me if you need to. I can handle it, I promise.”

Now, it was his turn to shake his head. “It’s not about that. I know you can handle it – but you don’t have to. These are my problems, not yours.”

Your hand trailed down his back, then to his waist to pull him closer to you. “I know,” you said, your voice still so soft, yet determined, that it sent a shiver down his spine. “I’m just saying. Need a shoulder to cry on? I have two.”

Xiao couldn’t quite hide the smile that flashed over his face. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” you replied before leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek. Xiao wrapped his arm around you as you snuggled up against him, indulging in the warmth and comfort you always felt when you were near him, while his gaze wandered over Dihua Marsh again.

Maybe you didn’t understand everything that had happened in the past or why he’d never be able to forget it. Why it sometimes kept him awake at night or why it would never stop haunting him. But knowing that you were there by his side, no matter what, ready to offer him your comfort if he ever needed it, was way more than enough to pull through all of this.

After decades, even centuries, of being on his own, he finally didn’t have to be alone anymore.

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it, please consider reblogging and/or leaving some feedback. I'd really appreciate the support! <3

Taglist: @the-gayest-sky-kid @shanmie @stunningstratagem @somemothgoingferal @the-fifteen @xiaogens

#xiao x reader #adeptus xiao x reader #xiao genshin fluff #adeptus xiao fluff #xiao x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fluff #gender neutral reader #gn!reader #reader insert #genshin impact imagine

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misschifuyu · 3 years ago

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To choose a lover

requested here

characters: ran haitani + rindou haitani

genre: fluff

warnings: none

Giggles and whispering comments were passed around, giddiness present in the voices that spoke out just a few metres away from you.

As much as you tried to focus on the tiresome work that was splayed out on the piece of paper before you, it was completely futile to drown the girls out.

It didn't take a genius to know what they were talking about. The school you were all under had the privilege - if one could even consider it as such - to hold two infamous students.

The Haitani brothers.

Whilst the eldest was in his final year, the younger still had another year under this roof until he followed in his brother's footsteps.

But there was really nothing to dislike about going to class when one had a literal fan group who's main topic was always them.

There were girls who preferred Ran, with his signature braids that they always wished they could undo for him; and others that would always fawn over Rindou's cocky ways and stubbornness, trying to catch his attention wherever he went.

The current conversation, however, wasn't just fixed on talking about their aspects.

Far from it. Sending each other questionable looks and making fun of those on the other side of the opinion, they were discussing who, out of the two brothers, was better.

Those on Ran's side had the advantage of saying that he was older, therefore more responsible and willing to take care of anyone.

Sure.

He would make the perfect husband, some were proclaiming. But...the youngest would always want to show that he is the strongest, the more dependable one, as a result of the inferiority that had always hung with him since they were young.

It wasn't that he was, he just hadn't pushed himself to be known as much as his brother had done all those years back.

Needless to say, it was an argument that would never see an end. At least not until the two left the school behind and continued up to wherever the future would take them.

It was amusing, from your point of view, to hear all of these discussions. For years now you had known the two, as close friends who had grown up on the same street, so you knew everything that there was to them, right down to what they actually did when they said they were studying.

Definitely something that the girls would be pushed back by if they ever found out.

But, if it really came down to it, you probably wouldn't be able to pick one out of the pack that they came in, either.

They both had their merits and faults, and, truth be told, neither of the two were that much of a pleasure to be around with, as much as their fans would beg to differ.

One thing was for sure, though. It had come into the light when the three of you had been hanging out one afternoon, without much else to do.

You had asked the youngest about what he thought about his notorious lower level when it came to comparing him with his brother.

It had simply been a spur of the moment, and you hadn't expected him to actually give a sorrowful response.

He was well aware that he was viewed as the weaker brother of the two, and as much as he'd try to prove otherwise, it had always been something that would eat away at him.

Naturally, both you and Ran had jumped to convince him that he was far from a weak person.

The fact that he was viewed as such meant nothing at all when it came down to the reality of what he was, and that there was no point in even listening to those ignorant - and frankly, irrelevant - opinions about himself.

At the end of the day, although you would never openly admit it near the oblivious fangirls, you held a considerable amount of affection towards the two of them.

Of course, they had their odd moments in which you only wished to hit them around the head with Ran's metal bar; but, all in all, they would always be your childhood friends.

So choosing between them was simply out of the question.

Both of them held an equal importance to you, so when a peculiar feeling started growing for one of them, you quickly averted it so it would be felt for the two, whatever it were to be.

They were two peas in a pod, and you weren't about to change this because of a measly crush.

However, the thought would only bug you more whenever you were all together. Such as the current situation, sat right between the two of them on the comfort of their couch.

Before even coming over, you had mentally ordered yourself to disregard the ridiculous thoughts that had flooded your mind.

The girls back at school hadn't help with the problem one bit, if anything they worsened the conflictive feelings; and now you were to spend the afternoon with the two.

One could only think that all odds were against them in such situations.

Head resting on Ran's shoulder, legs atop Rindou's, your eyes were fixed onto the screen before you. The reasoning behind spending the afternoon together was the airing of your favourite show.

However, you were now racking your brains over what you were supposed to do after the series ended. Watching a movie was the prime option, but you figured they would want to move from the couch and do something else.

And the two were very talkative, so you would have to, inevitably, push everything in your mind aside to prevent from even giving the smallest hint surrounding your thoughts.

Your stiffness didn't go unnoticed, and, soon enough, you felt a hand on your leg, startling you in an instant.

"What the hell is up with you today, Y/N?"

Rindou had lost all attention for what was playing on the screen, and it looked to be as though he had for a bit now. This meant he had felt your change of attitude well before he had actually asked about it.

"What? No, nothing...why?"

Knitting his eyebrows together, the blond looked over at you with a disbelieving stare. By now, you were sure Ran had shifted his interest towards the two of you.

"You've been all skittish since you got here. You got something important on your mind or what?"

Geez.

"No...I've just been thinking about something stupid, that's all. Don't worry about it, now let me watch th-"

"That being?"

Now you were cornered. From behind you, having turned to look at Rindou, a voice spoke out the question. In slight panic, you managed to come up with another way around it.

"Well...that, let's say, if I had to choose one out of the two of you, I wouldn't know who I'd pick. It's a silly question one of my friends asked today, that's all"

God bless the fan girls. You were sure to never judge them internally again, because they might have just saved your skin in the nick of time.

Your nerves calmed down as you heard Rindou chuckle at the concern, and you figured he'd just brush it off as another one of your peculiar inquiries.

However, as he fully turned towards you, it was clear that he wasn't about to let this go unfazed.

"Well, you can't just leave us like that without an answer. Go on then, if it was a life or death situation, who would it be?"

"Rindou...you know I'd get rid of both of you if I could"

You all laughed at your words, stirring the conversation into an area that you were certain you could get a hold of.

Each one of you was just as ridiculous as the next one, so it wasn't hard to divert difficult topics.

If only the youngest wasn't so damn pushy.

"On a real note, there's gotta be one of us that you like just a little more, Y/N"

Upon knowing that perhaps you had driven yourself into a dead end, you started to fumble with your fingers.

What the hell were you supposed to say? If you picked one, the other was surely to get the wrong idea.

"Um..."

A slight shift behind you made you turn your head, catching Ran just a little too close for comfort to your face. Great, just what you needed.

After a few, nerve racking, seconds in silence, it was the eldest of the two that decided to break the ice. You were all just wasting time there, after all.

"Listen...since my brother seems incapable of forming a decent sentence, what we've been trying to get at is which one you'd choose, because we've both liked you for some time now and we kinda need to know who you'd go out with"

Well.

Certainly an unexpected turn to your seemingly uneventful afternoon. It appeared that you weren't the only one struggling with the damned feeling that was a crush, but you hadn't gambled that it would be both of them...and for the same person.

You couldn't choose.

In the same way that you had to waver the feeling of more than just friendship between the two of them, there was no way you could pick one now.

It would be unfair for the other, especially since you would only be lying to yourself for saying that you felt nothing for the half that was left aside.

There was only one way out of this, unless you wanted to shatter the relationship you had built between them for the past years.

"I...both of you. I can't leave one of you out when I, well, like both of you"

A huge weight was lifted from your body the moment the brothers exchanged a look, followed by an agreeing nod. Far from the catastrophe you had gambled with, that much was sure.

As Ran leaned his head on your shoulder, Rindou gave you a bright smile, one that not everyone had the chance to say that they've seen.

"Wasn't so hard to say, now was it?"

No. What was going to be hard was having not one Haitani by your side, but two, as a partner. Sure enough, you were really going to know what their poor mother had to put up with now.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo manji revengers #tokyo revengers ran #ran haitani #tokyo revengers rindou #rindou haitani #tokyo revengers x reader #ran x reader #rindou x reader #fluff

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floralovebot · 3 years ago

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I'd love to read more about what you think about how often they get in trouble! And since you said Riven would get flack for Musa's songs, do you think he'd get flack for having dated Darcy?

FUCK YEAH DUDE

Fair warning, this is a bit long!

So, for the Winx, I said that most to least likely to get in trouble was Musa, Stella - Bloom, Flora, Tecna, and then Aisha. And for the Specialists, I said Riven, Sky, Brandon, Helia, and then Timmy. Again, I do think who's the most hated greatly depends on the planet and culture, so how often they get into trouble also depends on this (for instance, Stella having a more laid back approach to certain things may get her in trouble on Zenith, but not on Solaria).

Musa: The classic problematic. It's not that she's a bad person, she's just in the news a lot. Sometimes it's about another heartbreak song, sometimes it's about a fight she had with Riven in public, sometimes it's about her dry humor and sarcasm being interpreted as mean, and other times it's about some vague tweet she wrote and never deleted. She advocates for a lot of good stuff and definitely uses her platform to try and change things so she's not the worst celebrity out there, but she also tends to speak before she knows everything and that can occasionally be a problem. She fiercely defends the others when they get into trouble and constantly vagues "news sources" (aka drama sites) so people still view her as a little negative by proxy. (Also, some people think her being a fairy of music gave her an unfair advantage in the music industry and that she isn't actually talented.)

Stella - Bloom: I'm putting them on the same level because I think they're both fairly similar in how often they get into drama. As princesses who often get involved in things, their every movement is under scrutiny. Stella handles it a lot better than Bloom due to her media training and being watched since she was young.

Bloom usually tries to stay out of the negative spotlight but that often makes her seem avoidant of important issues. She does speak up about things but it's usually after days of editing and rewriting her words so she gets accused of only talking about something because people wanted her to. She also tends to get nervous answering anything about politics or Domino so that makes people reluctant to listen to her words. Then there's the obvious drama with Sky. While they aren't as public as Rivusa, things get out quickly and when they're in a heated moment they tend to forget about their surroundings. People from Eraklyon tend to hate both of them because Bloom is "too loud and angry and just being rude" and Sky is "forgetting his place and rising to the challenge, not a great sign for a future king". On the flip side, Bloom has saved the magical universe multiple times and continues to do so. Basically, she's one of those celebrities that you either really love or really hate.

Stella is another classic problematic! Again, it's not that she's a bad person, she just gets noticed a lot. People accuse her of being classist and ignorant just because she's royalty. They also hate whenever she spends a lot of money on things like clothing and makeup because it's seen as a wasted expense (since most of her money pre-S3 was coming from her parents). People absolutely see her as a spoiled brat that can't read the room and doesn't deserve to be queen. Stella often tries to prove those ideas wrong in very subtle ways because she knows outright denying them would only further the problem. But just like the others, she spends a lot of time advocating for the good and for the better. She also cares deeply about her friends and it's obvious to everyone, even the people that hate her. So while she is in the news a lot, most people can see through it and support her. But she does still get into trouble for her shopping sprees. Her spending a lot of money on things is largely why people sometimes have trouble being on her side. It's almost always seen as a spoiled princess move and a large factor in why people think she's classist and/or ignorant.

Flora: Flora is interesting because a lot of people initially assume that because she's a very shy and nice girl that she won't get into any drama. So it's a complete surprise when she argues with people online and starts calling people out. She's often fighting for the right thing and she rarely gets her facts wrong, but people hate getting called out and they hate it when someone they think should be quiet and nice goes to town on their ass. Even the people that agree with her often think she's too aggressive in her replies (while others think her tone is fine). Flora also isn't extremely open about her personal life outside of fighting crime with the Winx so that doubles her online persona as being just mean and "too political". People say that she should just stick to watering plants and leave the politics to the actual politicians. She responds by calling them hypocrites since they were just asking for celebrities to use their platforms. She gets called out for thinking she's a celebrity. She responds that she has a large platform and people follow her for her work. It's just a constant cycle and she never runs out of things to say (which isn't bad, but it always gets her into trouble). Tbh, I can also see the exact opposite where Flora just doesn't get involved in anything because she's too busy posting pictures of her plants and random dogs she sees but, I think eventually the need to defend her friends would win out and once she gets a little taste of activism, she wouldn't stand down (yknow how she constantly berates the Winx for wanting to attack the controlled animals? Basically like that. She has very strong moral opinions).

Tecna: I had some trouble with this because I almost wanted to put her last but overall I think her general personality would get her into trouble more than what happens with Aisha. Tecna is often blunt and she doesn't necessarily hide when she doesn't like something. So sometimes reporters will come up to her and ask her a question and she'll just hit them with an "I don't want to talk to you." and then walks away. Tecna doesn't see anything wrong with this because she views being honest to the media as relatively important as they could easily find out if she's lying through spying and technology. Overall, people just see her as a little too honest and she gets into trouble a lot with being open about not wanting to interact with fans a lot or being cautious about press.

Aisha: It's a bit surprising that a princess is the last on the list no? Andros has a very good handle on things like media and press, and while they definitely aren't controlling it by any means, most news sites know not to mess with them. They're very strict on things like personal boundaries and privacy and try to protect anyone who could be affected by the media (celebrities, online personas, royals, athletes, etc). Aisha also has the best media training out of all the Winx and is really good at knowing what to say and what to share. People know just enough about her social life through sns that they aren't constantly asking about it but not enough to try and cancel her for anything. She's almost seen as the goody-goody of the bunch since she just doesn't get into a lot of drama (and when she does it's handled extremely well).

Now the Specialists!

Riven: It's no surprise that he's first I mean cmon. With Musa being the most "problematic" of the Winx, Riven is bound to get his fair share of scrutiny. People absolutely judge him for having a past with Darcy. Although... I really don't think it would be the biggest factor. While he did genuinely like Darcy, she used magic on him multiple times to manipulate his thoughts and then later betrayed him. Riven wouldn't want to put unnecessary hate on all witches, but he'd also be mad enough to eventually allude to what actually happened (he'd never outright say it since it also hurts his pride). Most people accept that he got manipulated by Darcy and assume that the entirety of the relationship was based on that, which Riven doesn't like either, but trying to defend her wouldn't exactly help his case. On the other hand, the relationship he does get hated for is his relationship with Musa. Musa definitely shares the good and cute stories about them too, but her sad/angry heartbreak songs are always the ones that get remembered. People assume he's a lot worse than he actually is and whenever Musa or one of the others tries to defend him, they just assume Riven manipulated them into doing that. However, after S4, people get a lot more understanding of the relationship and there isn't as much hate towards him (he does still get called out for being a bit brutish though).

Sky: I almost put Sky as first, but then I remembered he's royalty and definitely has a PR team. Still, he gets into a lot of drama. The Diaspro/Bloom situation was blown out of proportion and every news site was reporting completely different things. To some, Sky is a dirty cheater that lied to his wife and got some random girlfriend, "who knows how many other girls he's talking to! Someone get his phone records with Stella". To others, Sky and Diaspro were happily engaged before homewrecker Bloom came in. And to others, Sky was just the prince trying to protect his identity and got wrapped into some catfight. No one knows what actually happened with them but a lot of people start to assume Diaspro was in the wrong once it's confirmed Sky is officially dating Bloom. They start actively hating her when she tries to magic her way into a relationship with him. And that's just the relationship stuff! Erakylon's politics are so weak and absolutely crumbling before our eyes. Sky would constantly get asked about specific things to try and break him and it doesn't help that the media sites from the other royal characters are the ones doing it.

Brandon: Is this ranking a bit surprising? Idk? But anyway, Brandon would literally just get hated by proxy. Most of his "drama" includes what's happening with Sky and/or Stella. If one of them is getting into trouble, then people are bringing him into it for absolutely no reason. Brandon knows more about Eraklyon and Solaria's political climates than he will ever need to know. While he doesn't have as much media training as Sky, he does have to follow some rules just so Sky doesn't get into trouble for what he says. That means he can't speak up about as many issues and he certainly can't constantly defend his friends from harsh words. He tries to get away with it by liking comments instead of making his own. It helps a little.

Helia: Helia gets into the same exact trouble that he gets into with the Winx fandom. He's quiet and he shares absolutely nothing about his personal life. He's an artist but he doesn't post about it nor does he talk about it. He avoids talking to the press and when he does its always vague answers that could mean anything. Helia cares a lot about Saladin and Red Fountain's image and we know that what he does affects said image. So he treads very carefully and doesn't involve himself in anything. However, this is largely what gets him into trouble. People hate that he's not open about anything and some even go to the extreme of thinking he's suspicious. While Saladin's legacy largely protects him from this, it doesn't protect him from the media and random people constantly asking about his personal life. Helia also rarely if ever defends the others online (1. as he almost never looks at it and 2. because he doesn't want to get involved). He comforts them and gives advice to their face but no one else sees that so people often call him things like "pretentious, two-faced, avoidant, etc". People are also weirdly suspicious about his relationship with Flora because "it can't be that good right? there's definitely something suspicious about them".

Timmy: Timmy's just a genuinely nice guy that rarely gets into trouble. He chooses his battles (so to speak) very wisely so when he does defend the others online, it's almost always something a majority of people will agree with. Almost all of his social media is about the latest in technology and gaming so he's pretty big in those crowds but most media sites can't really do anything with that. Sometimes people from Zenith see him as weird but they recognize that he's a good match for Tecna so they're okay with him. By the time all of the Specialists are truly in the spotlight, he's already gotten buffer and more confident so those issues from S1 wouldn't be a huge deal either. The others also speak highly of him so no one really doubts that he's a good specialist. For the most part, he just doesn't get into trouble and when he does it's always connected to someone else rather than something he alone said/did.

#hmmm not spell checking akjdghjdagh #Loved this!!!#i loved thinking about this it was amazing #winx club #winx headcanons #ahh... imagine if rainbow recognized that the winx are celebrities outside of giving them random concerts at alfea #like. imagine the drama!!#would love to hear more thoughts about this because i Love this topic rn #best discussion the fandom has had in months

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growingstronglikeahighgardenrose · 4 years ago

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Sanditon Season 2: all the news & my thoughts

So, we're getting not one but two new seasons of Sanditon! After a year of tremendous effort on behalf of the Sanditon sisterhood who kept the fandom alive, we'll be looking at a new season. Although I think the biggest thank you probably goes out to Bridgerton, which showed that romance, regency, a diverse cast and butts are a perfect mix to lure audiences.

I want to take this moment to reflect on what I think we'll win, what we'll lose and what we can expect in the future.

1. No Sidlotte HEA

This is probably the most heartbreaking salty news we could get. But I know Theo James, he likes new projects. And after divergent's disaster, I can't blame the boy for not wanting to hang onto another franchise. As a fanfic writer, although mainly an Esther/Babington one, I broke my head for over a year on how to get Sidlotte together. I had to imagine the grandest schemes to get them together. Tom needed 10 000 pounds in less than a month. Even Babington was probably not worth that much. That's over 6 million in today's money if adjusted to inflation. Regency era's England's top 1-2% made that in a full a year, and most of that is probably in assets and investments. And they don't just get to keep that money, most used a good chunk of it to keep their estates running and to pay their staff. Anyone know someone who has a casual 6 million lying around?

There's only two realistic solutions: either have Eliza die: which would be cruel and take years (unless you kill her in childbirth 9 months in), or create a grand scheme that would take months and see Sidney, Crowe and Babington actively work hard on their 'business' while in the meantime Charlotte, Lady Denham and Lady Susan get everyone including the prince regent to come to Sanditon. I kind of accepted they would have a hard time getting out of that plot twist. It was likely that Sidlotte could not be endgame.

Personally, I never felt a strong connection to Sidlotte, and had hoped that Charlotte, like Jane Bennet, would go to London with Lady Susan to recover from her heartbreak, and I kind of hoped James Stringer would eventually go down there for his apprenticeship, where a sort of Captain Wentworth-like situation would come to exist where he is a young man trying to make something of himself. I know Charlotte didn't love him. But I also knew that Charlotte wanted adventure and perhaps needed to grow as a person. But in the new season she'll probably be a bit jaded, closed off, and depressed. And will probably need a softer more available man. Growing up goes with swinging to extremes. She was an open optimist at the beginning, and eventually turned to the opposite, not letting her emotions shine through and being very guarded (@miss-holly-goes-lightly did a wonderful post on this). Adulthood is finding a good balance again.

So while I am saddened, because this brings along a long set of questions like: "Does Sanditon still take place in Sanditon then?" "Where will Sidney live, will he then live in London with his wife?" "Why doesn't he come help his brother the next season or visit his family, as we know Tom will make a mess of things" The show will have to answer these questions in a believable manner.

2. No Beaufort twins

Mollie Holder said on her instagram that the Beauforts wouldn't be returning. This leads to quite a few questions like: where will Georgiana stay then? What will be happening to Mrs. Griffiths? Will Georgiana be her sole ward while the Beaufort's absence is explained as them having married or having become governesses?

3. Who remains aboard

Rose Williams is definitely on board. It's also pretty certain Tom will be there again. Lady Denham is also likely to return. The child actors and their parents were willing, but worried about their increasing age a few months back. Old Stringer said he'd have loved to be part of Sanditon again and to see it continue, but he's well... dead on the show so he won't return. So who will join Charlotte?

Leo Sutter might not return. He plays an important role in the next spin-off of vikings. Vikings has a new season each year. On top of that he's currently busy recording Gateway 6. We don't know how long that might take. And perhaps by the time filming ends he's required for the next season of the Walhalla series. Leo Sutter is a rising star, he might not even have the time to return. Especially for two seasons. At his age and point in his career, he needs to cement his name, or he'll remain b-list while he has a-list potential. So he might have to give up Sanditon for his career. It's sad, I'd love a Stringer/Charlotte future where they both grow to being suitable for each other while becoming people confident in their own abilities. But in the end, I would be alright with it, as Charlotte didn't express immediate interest in him. Writing him out would also be fairly easy, they could just write that despite thinking he had to stay home after his father's death, he went to London in the end under Charlotte's encouragement. Perhaps he could then come back for a guest appearance.

Crystal Clarke will reprise her role as Georgiana. Clarke has, since Sanditon, spoken out about the sometimes tone-deaf director and scriptwriters. She had to step in a few times to make sure Georgiana was done justice. She also said she hoped Georgiana, if the show was continued, would get the space to breathe and be independent, instead of playing a minor role as token black friend of Charlotte while under the control of Sidney. It will be complex to have her return without involving Sidney, as his character will have to be written out. I imagine this can be done with a timejump, but the timejump would have to be 4 years to make Georgiana 'of age' as she is 17 in the show. They'll probably place her under someone's care while saying Sidney is "still her guardian, but away". Georgiana is, in my opinion, an essential part of Sanditon. Bridgerton showed the world wanted to see diverse faces. Austen wrote a black character as a wealthy and desirable woman. They simply have to do more with her in the future. Clarke will reprise her role, this time with black writers to do justice to her character. I'm excited to see what will be done.

The actor who plays Arthur, Turlough Convery, is a good actor and mostly in period pieces. However he's never overly in demand, and usually stays with shows for multiple seasons. I think he's quite willing to come back and it means Georgiana would have a friend. I also hope they delve into his character, especially after his "I don't think i'll ever get married".

Matthew Needham and Mark Stanley, Crowe and Babington, are Sidney's best friends. It will be hard to have them come back without them explaining why Sidney is never with them. But I believe they would work well as a duo: the drunk and the one braincell are a fun dynamic. Both are not much in demand, despite that I quite like them as actors. So we might see them returning. Their return would also be vital for the return of a few other characters:

Their return would also be vital for the return of a few other characters:

Charlotte Spencer's Esther Denham is married to Babington. Without Babington returning, how can Esther? And vice versa. Their storyline was also the main romance for me and a big part of the last few episodes. They kinda need to return. Babington is also Sanditon's access point to high society. To cash in on Bridgerton's success they should search that royal connection. Babington is friends with the Prince Regent. On top of that he has the most money. If he hosts a party and Charlotte is invited, this is where they get those grand-bridgertonesque scenes.

Lily Sacofsky's Clara had a romantic subplot with Crowe. In their final unaired scene they went to London together. She could return. However, the chances are quite slim. Clara is in London, and Sanditon takes place in Sanditon. Unless Lady Susan takes Charlotte to London for a while and she meets Clara and Edward there, cooking up a plan to get back at Esther and Lady Denham.

4. Predictions

There's no words to describe the popularity of Bridgerton, so this WILL influence Sanditon. I predict: more sex, more scandal, and even more ahistorically modern ideas and characters, multiple female characters and multiple male characters that each get screentime and their separate storylines and developments like in bridgerton, instead of just Charlotte's pov we follow. Glamorous scenes. And more POC.

The season will start with a timejump in all likeliness (as it is easier so they don't have to focus too much on her grieving). Charlotte will catch us up with what has happened while perhaps narrating over some letters she's written to georgiana and lady susan. She'll return to Sanditon during a summer. Sanditon will have been partially rebuilt with Eliza's money, and many activities will be planned. Sanditon will be in some kind of trouble. Charlotte will still be a planner. Her being very actively involved in things and having a vision was one of the most alluring parts of her character. In the books there was a rival town Tom hated. That might be a bit tricky to adapt so they could introduce some local competition for attention around Sanditon. A local duke hosting parties could overshadow tom's events. Or the social season in London could lure everyone there instead of to Sanditon. Charlotte will try to help Tom with this while getting reacquainted with everyone still in Sanditon, and hearing about the reasons why Sidney/Esther/Stringer/The Beauforts (to be seen) aren't in the show anymore. She'll also rebuild her relationship with Georgiana.

Then one day for an event Charlotte will invite Lady Susan, who will invite her to the London season to get over her heartache à la Jane Bennet. Charlotte will join Lady Susan to lure a crowd to Sanditon. There, she'll be confronted with some of her demons of the past season. Perhaps a pregnant Eliza Campion makes an appearance to rub it in Charlotte's face. In Sense & Sensibility Margaret discovered Willoughby's relationship in a most shocking manner in an almost public setting. Sanditon likes to nod at all Austen books so this could be a nod at that book when Charlotte discovers unpleasant news in a public manner. Charlotte will congratulate her and wish them happiness, and afterwards either a girlpower moment could happen with Lady Susan or Georgiana supporting her, or a love moment. Mrs Campion has tried to talk Charlotte down in front of people in the past, if she did it again, a new love interest could step in at that time to compliment her and then take her off for a dance. That could be an emotional moment for her, as she realized her feelings for Sidney in London during a dance the last time around as well. And she could have her cinderella moment by excusing herself and running off after the dance, uncertain of her feelings. She'll have some grand balls, might be harrassed by a man and risk a scandal, or try and prevent Georgiana from ruin during a scandal.

At the last moment she'll succeed in her goal and lure a crowd to Sanditon's events that will put Sanditon on the map. Either the local competitive duke, or someone from London will be impressed with her, but she won't be ready to marry yet. I trust that by the end of the second season, she'll finally have a realisation that she's quite happy with how she's living her life and how good her work is, and that she has finally stopped feeling sad. So the second season will stop with her atop a cliff, letting go of the traumatic loss she suffered on that same cliff a season before. By the end of the season, one or two love interests will be set up for the last season.

So the nudity and big romance will have to come from elsewhere. Georgiana will get more agency and action in the next seasons. She could be trying to tempt Charlotte in joining her adventures as a single wealthy independent woman. She might even leave to find her place in the world via boat, returning to where she was last truly happy: Antigua. The second season could maybe end with Charlotte overlooking Georgiana's boat leaving from the previously mentioned clifftop. Another option is Georgiana falling in love with a local man and taken an interest in the town. Financially speaking, Georgiana could be the only one able to save Sanditon. But I don't think she owes the town anything. Another option is the writers focus on Georgiana navigating her relationship with Otis, who might be back home for a holiday after navy duty. We could also see some political debates à la Poldark S5 about freedom, servitude, independence and so on. The first plan for Georgiana doesn't even have to exclude the second, she could decide to sail away with Otis to find their place in the world. In any case: race shall not be brushed under the carpet and Georgiana will kick some shins on her way to her happy ending. In Jane Austen, we have rarely seen a woman who tried to elope, or escape her guardian, get a happy ending. Georgiana Darcy, Eliza Williams, Eliza's mother, ... they're all tragic tales of women falling for bad guys who try to steal their virtue or take their money. And in the end they always become dependent on men again. I hope in Sanditon Georgiana will learn and grow herself, instead of being coddled by men. A lot could be done.

Esther and Babington could be a very cool insert if the actors join. They can really connect the high society to Sanditon. They could host balls, invest in Sanditon or drive the London plot. But they can also be an emotional backbone to the show. Esther married Babington, but she wasn't in love yet. I'm not a fan of the edward/Esther angle. After all he did, I rather she hated him with burning passion and never spoke to him again. But he could try to blackmail her and ruin her reputation in London. Perhaps become some kind of Lord Whistledown. With Charlotte coming to Esther's aid. Esther's plotline could be about learning to trust people and open her heart again. Perhaps she could have a conflict with Babington about him wanting a family and she still being uneasy with marriage, let alone children. Maybe they could have a fight, with one of them going to London. In their separation they might realize they love each other. And then the other comes back home from London with Charlotte and they fix everything. Another route is them having a fight, Esther going to confront Edward or Clara about their blackmailing or maneouvring. Babington thinks it's because she doesn't love him, but actually it's because she loves Babington and wants to be rid of her past. But she gets into an accident and Babington only realizes the truth later on, leading to a happy ending.

Other things I'd love to see: Mary finally growing a backbone and telling Tom to either be open about his affairs and finances or be gone. Arthur and Diana growing a backbone and telling their brother he's a fuck up. Charlotte realizing Tom is stupid. Lady Denham appointing Charlotte or Arthur to head of Sanditon after showing their worth an entire season. Tom being repentant. Diana getting over her fears. Arthur getting a love interest. Crowe being in Sanditon, I just love him. Kisses. Healthy love interests that aren't broody and traumatized and in need of fixing by women. Jane Austen's men need to do their growing ON THEIR OWN. And then they earn their brides.

5. What we'll lose

- A Sidlotte ending: once the new season comes out, Sidlotte is no longer headcanon.

- A happy Esther/Babington ending: they married and looked happy, despite Esther's rushed turn around. If they're in the new season, their marriage won't be perfect. They'll have conflicts, just for plot. Whatever headcanons we had for them will probably be falsified. We might come to dislike them or their relationship. I've seen almost all my ships crumble to dust on the rocks of multiple seasons dragging out relationships and piling on conflict just to keep it interesting.

- A part of what made Sanditon Sanditon: we'll lose many faces we've come to love. And the dynamics and relationships will therefore change a lot.

- Fanfics become dated: I know it is the problem of every fandom, but it's one I regret all the same. Part of why I love Austen fandoms is the fact that the books are written. The characters and relationships won't change. With 2 new seasons coming, all fanfics out there will become dated. The millions of hours authors put into Sidlotte fics will perhaps become barely read when Charlotte gets new love interests. All the headcanons I and many others wrote down for Sidlotte, Esther/Babington, Charlotte/Stringer, will officially become silly fantheories. I've been there a couple of times before that shows changed the entire course and personality of certain characters and then you can't help but feel exhausted and sometimes annoyed because these are your babies and you had dreams for them, and the writers took them in directions that sometimes don't do them justice. But it's canon so you gotta accept it. Sometimes fantasy is nicer than a writer toying around with storylines and characters just to create drama. And I'll have to write my characters in a new way that fits the characters based on the info from the new seasons. I might fall out of love with them. Ah, the burden of being a shipper weighs heavy.

- Perhaps we still lose a HEA: Season one ended with a happy babington/Esther and an unhappy Charlotte who learned a lot, and a Sanditon that was saved. Although Sanditon has been extended for two seasons it's possible that if the ratings for S2 aren't good they may still cancel the third season. If they don't learn from their mistakes and end season 2 on another cliffhanger even Esther's relationship and sanditon may be at stake. If they're getting 2 seasons they will also not marry or engage charlotte in the second, meaning Charlotte will still be single by the end of the series if they cancel season 3. The whole reason we wanted more seasons was for charlotte to have a HEA. So I'm really fearful that she'll be put in another hard spot. They at least need to get her happy by the end of S2.

6. What we'll gain

- More sanditon content

- More regency era content and images and music which is always lovely

- Seeing our favourites again

- Hopefully we get to see new challenges and romance and humor and tense moments and scandal and drama that will be fun to watch

- A Georgiana story arc: a black woman in a realistic historical setting living her life, being wealthy, and England just having to Deal With It. And as cherry on top she'll be written by black writers.

- Happy endings (hopefully)

- New hot men! This is a guarantee

- Perhaps LGBTQ+ representation with Arthur

- Frustration at Tom's antics (guaranteed)

- Maybe some interactions with Charlotte's siblings

- Esther Babington content

- New material to write fanfics and metas about

- Over 8 hours of viewing pleasure

#sanditon #sanditon season 2 #sanditon season 3 #sceptical fanalyses #sanditon predictions #charlotte heywood #esther denham

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ripspaghet · 5 years ago

Text

bff | 04

↳ series m.list | 00 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 |

→ pairing: yoongi x reader

→ word count: 4,750

Prologue Summary; Your best friend's boyfriend takes an unhealthy interest in you and just as he shows up something from your past starts to creep up on you again. Could this strange and mysterious man have something to do with it? And should you trust him, or your instincts to run far, far away from him?

→ warnings: angst, swearing

The bell overhead chimes as the doors open, making Seokjin's mouth finally clamp shut before another word can make you slam your head into the register. Your shift had only begun and he was already on a roll about being forced to clean the toilets earlier.

"Welcome to Sil's Coffee, how may we help you?" The slogan fell off your lips like a sigh of relief as you plaster on a bright smile for the customer, coming in from the frigid outside air.

A chuckle erupts from the customer, "I see Seokjin is harassing you again."

"W-What?! I do not-"

"I'd like an iced mocha with caramel. Could you fetch that for me Jin?" Mina slides into the bar chair in front of Seokjin, who bites his tongue before turning around to make her order. The man may loathe his job, but there was no way he'd allow himself to be fired.

"Honestly, just tell him to shut up. You don't have to listen to his whining."

You can hear Seokjin muttering inaudible profanities at Mina and you let out an actual sigh this time, "Seokjin is just expressing himself."

"And this is the best way he knows how? How sad."

"You're coffee." You flinch as a cup is slammed onto the counter and slid into Mina's hands.

"Thanks, handsome." She grins endearingly up at him.

"Can you leave now?"

"Oh, how rude of you to say to a customer. I wonder what the manager would say?"

You pinch the bridge of your nose, "Mina, stop, for fuck sake." Seokjin is presumably the only person who dislikes Mina more than Jimin, although Mina doesn't dislike Seokjin. She actually likes him, despite his constant rambling.

Another chime grabs everyone but Mina's attention back to the entrance to see your stumbling yellow-haired friend enter the shop. He swore as he tripped on the entrance's floor-mate, but quickly composed himself and looked up to send you a dazzling smile before gracefully making his way over the seat in front of you, "Good morning, my ray of sunshine." You open your mouth to return the gesture just before someone else strides in behind him. Dark hair, dark eyes, and pale skin sporting a baggy tee and flannel with tight frayed jeans. You grimace at the sight. Of course, he was here. Why wouldn't he be? Mina was here and wherever Mina was, he had the right to be.

"Couldn't you have done us all a favor and let yourself fall?"

"Like I'd ever do a favor for the likes of you." Jimin retorted swiveling around in his chair.

It's been exactly three weeks since your first session with Yoongi began and you still haven't grown comfortable with the whole ordeal. Especially since Yoongi had all of a sudden started making an effort to include himself in Mina's life more, resulting in him almost always being around. Which is great for Mina, just not so great for you.

"Anyways, how is my love doing?" Jimin reached out for your hands and smiled at you in a way that made it impossible for you to not return the gesture.

"I'm alright." You squeezed his hands reassuringly before pulling away to make his usual drink. At least you had Jimin most of the time. He did a great job of pulling your attention off of the guy just a few feet away from you and settling your nerves.

"I heard how Namjoon left you high and dry. Taehyung has been dogging me for studying material ever since. Is your project coming along alright? I can help you with it?" You tense as you begin pouring the chocolate syrup into Jimin's drink. Maybe you'd spoken too soon again? You hadn't told anyone about studying with Yoongi, out of fear of what Mina would do and judging from the lack of passive aggression coming from her, Yoongi hadn't said anything either.

"N-no, I've got it. You don't need to do that."

"She'd fail for sure if you helped her."

"Mina, nobody was talking to you. Can you shut that trap of yours?" You turn back around and place Jimin's cup in front of him just as Mina reaches over to whack him on the back of the head.

"Yah! Don't you touch me, you witch!"

"Me? A witch?" Mina laughed, "Well, that must make you a troll."

"Mina, stop that." Yoongi's cold metallic voice caught you off guard and you made the mistake of shifting your gaze over to him just as Mina began whining, merely to see he was already watching you, his brown eyes intense and dark.

Things have been very awkward, for you to say the least. You didn't know what to make of this new relationship you had with Yoongi. Hell, even calling it a relationship felt weird and from every angle, it just seemed wrong. When you so much as looked in Yoongi's direction you felt like you'd just transgressed some imaginary line you'd drawn for yourself. Or maybe it had been drawn by Mina. It was normal for the girl to be possessive and paranoid, even more so when it came to a guy she liked. Mina had been friends with a girl in the past that had stolen guys from her left and right, so now she always assumed you, one of her few female friends, was always plotting against her and knowing this made you extremely cautious.

"You two have been extra snarky this week."

You cleared your throat, trying your best to not seem uncomfortable, "Would you like something to drink, Yoongi?"

"A black coffee would be nice."

You nodded, turning again only to have Seokjin place a black coffee in your hands, "I figured he'd order that again, so I went ahead and made it."

"Oh, here," You slid the drink over to Yoongi, sure to avoid eye contact this time.

"Well, with ____ spending all her time studying lately, I'm left alone to deal with this nuisance." Mina jabbed her finger at Jimin.

"What? I'm the nuisance and yet you're the one constantly complaining about this and that and never shutting up?"

"Shut your mouth Park." Mina flushes red as Yoongi turns his head over, suddenly taking interest in their conversation.

Jimin scoffs and turns back to you, "So, can I hear it?"

"Huh?" You tilted your head.

"Namjoon told me about it, don't be coy. I wanna hear it."

Your cheeks flush at the realization of what he was talking about, "He did what?! No way. I'm not letting you hear anything."

"What are we talking about?"

"We," Jimin looking back at Mina, pointing at her and then himself, "aren't talking about anything. Me and ____ are." Mina scoffs and turns away from him as he does the same, overeating his attention back on you, "My best friend won't let me hear her sing?"

"What best friend? Last I checked you have no friends." Mina mumbles under her breath, rolling her eyes at Jimin's pouting lips while sipping her drink. He scowls but is quick to ignore her in favor of you.

Damn, they really are at each other's necks right now.

"Why are you embarrassed? I know you're good. Namjoon said your voice is amazing. In fact, he gushed about it."

"Stop rambling and leave me and my voice alone, Park Jimin."

"You cutie, you're all red, like a tomato." He reaches up to pinches at your cheek but you quickly swat his hands away.

"Shut up."

"Let me hear it and I'll shut up for the rest of my life, just for you."

"No." You turn away from him to busy yourself with work, emphasizing your seriousness. There was no way in hell you'd ever let Jimin, or anyone else for that matter, hear you sing. Sure, Namjoon and Yoongi had heard it, but- your gaze drifted over to Yoongi again to see a small smirk playing on his lips as he stirred his coffee.

"God, you two make me wanna vomit. I can't believe you refuse to admit your dating each other." Seokjin finally spoke again as he wiped down the counter-tops.

"Seriously, get a room," Mina adds.

"Says the two who bicker at each other like a married couple," Jimin smirked over at Mina, who just about spit her coffee out her nose.

"What?!"

"We do not!"

Message from Min Yoongi- 8:11am: The door is unlocked. Just come in when you get up here.

After work, you stalled around a bit before heading towards Yoongi's. You knew if you left right after your shift, Jimin would've tried to tag along. He normally walked you home when he got the chance and as far as he knew you'd been going home every week to work on your project alone.

Your stomach turns as the elevator finally comes to a halt, the doors sliding open, and you step out. More than anyone else, you wanted to tell Jimin about this. You knew he'd have the best advice for you, but you also realize that Jimin hates Mina. He would probably let the information slip on purpose just to piss her off. He'd prefer not to be friends with her because, in his opinion, she's faker than all the plants in his dance teacher's office. You don't doubt he'd take any chance he could to try and show you that, probably saying something along the lines of, "It's for your own good, trust me."

Honestly, you're starting to get pretty sick of this. All the elevator rides you've had to endure are almost as bad as riding an airplane, never knowing if it's going to give out or just break and send you to a gruesome death. You head for Yoongi's door, sending a glare back at the box of threatening death as it's doors slide shut again. You've tried to convince Yoongi on countless occasions to meet elsewhere, but he declines each time, saying, "Why would I go somewhere else when I'm most comfortable here?" You roll your eyes at the memory. That self-centered jerk doesn't care what you put yourself through every week to get to here. Making sure none of your friends, especially Mina, see where you're going, facing your fear of that dumb elevator while doing so, and lying practically to Jimin. Mina would assume you're sleeping with Yoongi if she ever found out. It wouldn't matter what you told her. And imagine if she did find out, even after all your efforts? Every week you had to put up with Min Yoongi's self-centered attitude and constant complaints about how you're, "Too early." Or, "Too late." Not to mention you've been feeling under the weather lately.

One of these days you're really gonna to jump from one of the windows on this floor just to escape from Min Yoongi, because at this point it feels like there is no escape. You go to school, he's there with Mina. You go to work, he shows up with Mina. What did you have in life, if not peace away from that guy?

You give the front door two gentle taps before entering. The penthouse was the same as always, warm and quiet, as the world outside opposed it. It was probably the only thing you enjoyed when meeting with Yoongi, the quiet, something you normally got so little of.

"Back here!"

You jump, whirling in a full circle before figuring out where the voice came from. You follow it down a hallway and to a room. Little decoration fills the room and it's relatively empty, except for a grand piano occupying the center.

"I figured we could transfer your cords into a melody on the piano to place at the deeper parts of the song. I have a feeling it will sound good with your voice."

Your breath catches in your throat, your wide-eyed stare never leaving the piano Yoongi is sat at, as he writes, what assumed to be, notes onto a piece of paper.

"Come sit, " He gestures you over, still not looking at you. Your feet feel like they've rooted themselves to the floor and it takes all of your strength just to do as he says and bring yourself to the piano, trying your best to ignore the way your heart stills as you sit down next to Yoongi, a sharp fear piercing through you like cold wind.

"You play?" Your voice comes out dry as your eyes linger on ivory keys.

"Yeah, I learned when I was little." Yoongi finally brought his gaze over to you to watch as you lightly move your fingertips up and over the keys, "Do you?"

You frown and pull your hand away from the piano, "No."

Yoongi hums and places his fingers onto the keys before playing the first few notes of your song, "That's too bad. This would be a lot easier if you did."

"Well, I don't." You sneer at the sound of your song coming from the piano and stand back up, realizing that this had been a horrible idea, "Listen, I'm not feeling up for this today. I'm gonna go." Your mind was beginning to cloud with distraught memories and all you could focus on was getting away from the piano as you stood up. You weren't fast enough though.

Yoongi stood up after you, following you out of the room, "Is everything alright?"

"I just want to go home."

His pace quickened as you approach the front door and he was in front of you before you could reach it, "Do you not like the piano idea?"

You glare at him, "The idea is fine, I just want to go home, as I said."

His eyes dart all across your face as if he's still trying to read you, to understand what had set you off.

"I'll be going now." You attempt to sidestep him, only to be abruptly cut off by Yoongi placing a hand to your forehead, "W-what are you-"

"You look really pale, I don't think you should-Woah," He steps back out of shock after feeling your temperature, "you're burning up."

"I'm fine, just let me-"

"____," Yoongi's eyes narrow on you, his voice dropping a couple octaves, "go sit on the couch and I'll get you some medicine."

You hesitate for only a moment before giving in, "Fine, whatever." You stomp away from him, over to the couch before plopping down onto it. Admittedly, your head was starting to pound and you couldn't deny the cold sweat that was beginning to settle in along with the aching of your whole body. It'd be just your luck that you'd caught the flu or something, only to start showing symptoms after arriving at Yoongi's, of all places. You'd honestly prefer being at Jimin's house right about now and he'd probably be smothering you right about now. You should've just canceled today and walked home with Jimin.

"Here, take this." Yoongi returns within a few minutes, crouching down in front of you before placing a pill in one of your hands and a glass of water in the other, "This should reduce your fever."

"And how am I suppose to trust that you're not drugging me?" You raise an eyebrow at him accusingly, but he just gives you a skeptical look.

"It's ibuprofen, ____."

You watch him hesitantly, before plopping the pill into your mouth, and tilting your head back to drink the glass of water. You hadn't expected yourself to drink the whole thing, but you did, and rather quickly.

Yoongi takes the glass from you and places it on the coffee table behind him, "Are you hungry?"

"I really don't-" You're cut off by the sound of your treacherous stomach growling at the mention of food.

"I'll make soup." Yoongi gets up again, heading back to the kitchen before you get the chance to protest further than you already have. Your head is starting to spin and you have to lay down just to keep yourself from running to the bathroom to vomit. No way would you be caught dead throwing up in Min Yoongi's bathroom. You'd jump from a window before that happens. You close your eyes, waiting patiently for Yoongi to return with food. You hadn't even noticed yourself drifting off.

The ground beneath is dry, altered to a sandy substance. Dull silence replaces loud screeching alarms, and instead of hazy darkness, something else lurks amongst the unknown. The difference between now and then is an odd sense of familiarity tugging at your heart. You know all too well what this nostalgia is, but you refuse to move towards it. The mere memories are enough to coax out inner demons dwelling behind your walls. A place you once called home.

“It's unnecessary, ____.”

A harsh memory, filled with a harsher smell of gin and gasoline forces itself forward. One of those memories a child prefers to suppress, yearning to someday forget it...pretend it never happened. Although, bad memories die-hard, just as bad habits do and the specific way that man had always held onto second agendas and gave everything a double standard was etched into your mind. You can never seem to escape him, no matter how hard you try.

Especially here.

Such a strange feeling it gave you. Do others feel this? A looming dark hole in the cradle of their heart, remaining, even if eventually, and inevitably, a change comes. A childlike intuition told you how it was fated, as it was for a reason beyond your knowing that the place you once called your home would burn, that - that man's eyes would close and the smell of gin and gasoline would fade into something much more horrendous, along with that godforsaken piano. And then, and only then, you would realize that home never truly felt like home.

"____?"

And him, that damned voice will only further remind you of that misery and loss.

"Wake up, it's just a dream."

Mark my words.

"____," You whimper at the feeling of someone's hand against your cheek and you lean into it, "what's wrong?"

Your eyes open slowly and it's only then that you realize the wet tears running down your cheeks, "W-what?"

"Why are you crying?" You look up, seeing Yoongi's dark worried eye on you as he wipes away your tears with his thumb.

You sit up slowly, your head still spinning and skin still aflame with a fever, "I-I don't remember."

"Here," Yoongi moves an arm under your legs and to your back before hoisting you up.

"W-what are you doing?! Put me down!" You have no strength to fight against him in your current state, but that doesn't stop you from yelling at him.

"I'm moving you somewhere comfortable, be quiet." He walks out of the living room and back down the hallway that had previously brought you to the piano room, only this time he walks passed that room and into another at the end of the hallway. He sits you down on a bed and covers you with a blanket, "I'll go heat up the soup, and once you're done eating you should get some more sleep."

You only nod and watch as Yoongi leaves the room before pushing the covers off of you and standing back up. You make your way over to the door and back down the hall, only briefly stopping to leer into the piano room. You'd have to make up an excuse later to leave the piano out of your song. There's no way you'll be able to stomach hearing the sound of it every time you work on the piece. Once you make it to the front door you're quick to exit, despite hearing Yoongi's footsteps exiting the kitchen at the same time. You don't care all too much if he sees you leaving, you just need to leave. Sure, your head is spinning and your joints ach, but letting Yoongi take care of you while sick is crossing that line that had been laid down.

While in the elevator you have to sit on the floor and pray to reach the bottom soon. The motion of moving down is only making you all the more nauseous, so when the doors finally open you're surprised to see that the sun has already set, despite you showing up here early this morning. Had you really slept that long? Yoongi must've had his curtains closed. You stand back up and your stomach growls in anger as you make your way out of the building. You really were hungry, to the point that it feels like your stomach is digesting itself, but you're desperate to get away. You don't want any misunderstandings.

"Madam, may I assist you in finding a-"

You cut off the doorman, turning in the direction of your apartment, "I'm fine."

"Miss, the streets are dangerous at this time of-"

"I'll be fine, Jackson. Good night." You ignore the polite man's pleas for you to let him help you and continue down the street and away from him. You have no money for a taxi or uber and you aren't going to let someone else, you barely know, pay for you. The last thing you need is to owe someone or make them think you're poor, not that you aren't, due to college debt, but that's beside the point.

"Woah, look what we've got ourselves here." A group of burly looking men walk around the corner of an alleyway just as you're about to pass it and your expression turns sour. Of all the nights.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing out so late?" There's four of then, but only the tallest of the bunch is quick to close the distance between the two of you.

"I don't think that's any of your damn business." You glare up at him, attempt to regulate your breathing. Your fever is making you feel like you're extremely out of shape so that just the smallest amount of walking you've done so far had you almost breathless.

"Oh! A feisty one!" A disgusting grin pulls up the man's cheeks as he laughs at your bold response.

"Get out of my way." You wave your hand at him, trying to move around his broad shoulders only for another one of the guys to come up beside him, blocking your way.

"No, I think you should stay and hang out with us for a while."

You huff and run the back of your hand across your forehead, nonchalantly whipping away the sweat to try and hide how weak you actually felt before letting a fake smile pull up your lips, "Oh, yeah?"

The man opens his mouth to reply, but before he can get a word out you're darting across the empty street.

Yes, you felt like shit, but that didn't mean you were gonna give up without a fight. The group of men yells after you, taken by surprise and you can hear their heavy feet scurrying after you. Thankfully, you're fast enough that once you've made it across the street you can start towards the nearest convenience store. Thinking you're about to be home free, your heart races with anticipation only to sink down in terror a second later as a hand yanks you into an alleyway way and covers your mouth, muffling your scream. You thrash and kick, panic shocking your body like electricity.

"Stand still, ____. You're going to break my nose." The whisper has you stilling in the person's arms.

"Yoon-"

"Shut up!" He whispers yells, covering your mouth again.

"Damn it! Where did she go!?"

"I almost caught her."

"No, you fucking didn't! You were behind all of us, you idiot !"

You freeze and sink further into the person's arms out of seer terror as the four men pass the alleyway you're hiding in.

"When I find that bitch, she's gonna wish she never ran."

The grip around you tightens in an almost protective sort of way. The feeling comforts you, but tears still begin welling up in your eyes before the group of men finally carries on down the cold streets. Once they're out of hearing range the hand over your mouth moves and you're turned around to face none other than Min Yoongi.

He eyes you up and down, concern evident in his features, "Are you alright?"

You can only imagine how not alright you look, cheeks red from the cold, eyes glassy from fear, after having your adrenaline wear off. You probably look like a complete mess, but you still manage to nod in response to his question.

"Are you stupid? What the hell were you thinking? I told you to stay because you weren't feeling well and now look what you've gone and gotten yourself into. Why couldn't you just listen to me? Something could've happened. What if I didn't followed you?"

You stare up at Yoongi, trying to listen to what he's saying and gripping his arms tightly to keep yourself upright as a loud thumping began echoing in your ears, everything around you starting to spin, "I-I'm sorry, I-"

"____?"

You fall, losing your grip on Yoongi as all your strength leaves your body, and you faint.

You groan and stretch, your eyes slowly opening. The light shining in through your window burns your retinas.

"Finally, I was beginning to think you were dead."

"Huh?" You look over, next to your bed to see Jimin sitting there with a tray of breakfast in his lap.

"How-What are you doing here?" You croak.

Jimin raises an eyebrow, "You don't remember? You must have felt pretty bad."

"Jimin, " You cough, trying to sit up, and he's quick to help you, "what are you talking about?"

"You texted me last night that you felt really sick and needed help. I was surprised at first, but once I got here I understood that you weren't kidding. You were tossing and turning in bed and sweating as if you'd just ran for hundreds of miles."

You frown, trying to recall your memories from last night.

"Are you alright?" Jimin rubs your back soothingly.

"I-I'm fine." Your voice squeaks as you push Jimin's hand off you.

He raises an eyebrow at you again, your reaction surprising him, but drops it, figuring it's probably because you're sick, "Well, here's your breakfast. I'm going down to the cafeteria to get you some water. Call me or text me if anything happens or if you need something, okay?"

"O-okay, " You take the tray of food from him and he nods before getting up and leaving. You look around your room, briefly glancing over at your roommate's bed. Hopefully, she'd been out all night and hadn't seen anything.

You jump as your phone starts ringing, your tray of food nearly flying up in the air. You quickly grab your phone, accepting the call without checking the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Hm, you sound a lot better today. How are you feeling?"

The sudden sound of his voice has your whole face heating up and your stomach flipping over in an unexplained manner, "Y-Yah! Why are you calling?! What do you want?!"

"What are you being rude for? Didn't I save your life?"

You scoff, "I would've been perfectly fine without your help. I had a plan."

"Oh, really?" He asks sarcastically, "And what was that? Run until you collapse from exhaustion?"

"I-I don't need to explain myself to you!"

"Right, it's not like I had to drag you all the way to your dorm last night, because you refused to listen to me, or anything."

"I didn't ask for your help!"

"Well, since you seem to be fine now and you don't need my help, I'll hang up." His voice is condescending and mocking. The sound of it makes your blood boil and you can't help but respond with malice.

"Fine! Hang up!"

"Try not to go running down the street in the middle of the night again, yeah?"

"I'll do whatever I want!"

His laughter fills your phone's speaker and you found yourself turning even redder, "I'm sure you will, ____, seeing as you do that and nothing else."

"I'm hanging up!"

"Alright, "

"Shut up!" You pull your phone away from your ear swiftly and end the call. You huff and throw your phone to the end of your bed. You can't understand why you'd just been so childish. He had helped you. Why did you respond so absurdly? You could feel something burning inside your chest, the feeling of it was making you irrational. You run your hands through your hair distress-fully and whine, "What's wrong with me?"

tags

@team-work-made-the-dream-work @seokchella @crackhead1-800

#BTS au #yoongi au #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #yoongi angst #bts angst #BTS jimin #bts yoongi #BTS jin #bts imagines #bts #bts fanfction #suga angst #min yoongi

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rainywritingsx · 5 years ago

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Torn • BNHA x OC • Chapter 3

Whoopppp there’s another chapter! I hope you guys are enjoying the fic so far. I was actually wondering, should the chapters be longer or shorter? Please let me know what you prefer and if you have any other feedback regarding the fic please let me know!

Prologue

Chapter 1 | 2

Get to know my OC, Janie Kotu

Words: 1332

“You’re late.” Malo’s cold voice spoke as I took off my shoes

"I had to ask my teacher something and the road towards our house was closed, so I had to take another road." I lied, sounding more convincing than I expected. Well done, Janie. I didn't like lying but a little white lie couldn't do that much harm, right?

He looked at me for a moment before nodding and turning his attention back to the television. Of course he wouldn't bother asking more, he wasn't interested anyway. I knew that. As long as I didn't do anything strange or "hero-like" we were good.

I sighed softly and walked to my room, which was upstairs. My twin brother and I used to share one, but when we got older our parents had decided to give us separate rooms. My other brothers had a room together, which they absolutely loved since those two got along super well all the time. If they argued it never lasted long.

I liked having a room of my own. Yes, I liked people and I enjoyed having friends, but sometimes I needed some alone time. And that didn't have to do with the people I was around, I was just someone who needed their own space.

It wasn't that special, really. I wanted to fill it with pretty decorations but my father said it didn't suit a leader, which he also said about my clothing style. Why couldn't I be an awesome leader and wear cute pink dresses at the same time? That sounded so badass to me.

But no, because of his opinion on my room, it had gray and black walls, a normal bed with a normal pillow and covers. The walls were boring, no pictures or posters were hung on them. I also had a desk where I did my homework and such, my boring wardrobe with my boring clothes (and the pretty ones that I kind of hid from my dad mostly)

I lied down on the bed, releasing a soft sigh as I looked at the flyer. Attending UA would be like a dream... but I had so many other things that I'd need to worry about if I decided to go to the school. It would just be a mess and despite the fact that I kind of dislike my parents, they're still family and I didn't want to ruin what we had, which already wasn't great anyway.

...but just doing the entrance exam wouldn't do any harm right? It wasn't like I'd actually attend the school...

I could try, I probably wouldn't get recognised by anybody anyway, since my parents didn't want my siblings and I to be known by the heroes. Yes, the schools knew about me but that was pretty much it. They had their ways to get people who tried to reveal our identities to stop but since anyone knew how insane my parents were they didn't even try.

I guess I could tell my parents I was going to the gym. They'd probably be happy with that anyway. After that I could just tell them I didn't quite like it or something and that I'd train at home. That seemed convincing right?

It wasn't like they really knew about my thoughts on everything. They never asked if I wanted to become a villain, it was just going to be like that. I never talked about it either, since I quickly realised I couldn't discuss things like that with them. Imagine their faces if I'd ever tell them I'd rather become a hero...

All I needed to do now was sign up for the entrance exam and give some of my information. My parents never really checked their mail so I'd be safe with that fortunately. Information of parents would probably be necessary though.... I could lie and say that I lived alone, but I was sixteen so that most likely wouldn't be believable.

Perhaps I could say I didn't have any parents? But then again I'd have to have someone who took care of me, so they'd need their information.

Maybe I could pretend to be that caretaker... It would be a risky move, but this was a one time thing. If I would be discovered, I could try making up a lie about wanting to infiltrate or something. I mean that seemed believable... right?

Ah, we'd see. I'd just sign up now and not think too much about what would happen later since nothing would happen most likely. I wouldn't even get in, that whole thing with the little girl wasn't anything special really. Anyone would've done that if they were in my position most likely.

I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't want to attend the school, though. UA had such a welcoming vibe, as if the people all were a family despite some people not really knowing each other well. I could only dream of ever experiencing something like that at my school..

And those two people, Iida and Uraraka seemed like lovely people and they were only two students of the whole school. Of course I was aware that every school had mean people but UA wasn't just any normal school. Sure they had their way of dealing with very extreme cases.

My eyes wandered back to the flyer, opening it out of curiosity. It basically gave information about the school itself and the entrance exam. There was a theoretical and practical part, which I saw coming already. What those two will contain was a secret to every contestant, as well as the location of them. We didn't have to wear a uniform yet, but the clothing needed to fit the activities. This seemed pretty obvious though in my opinion. I wouldn't do combat in a skirt and high heels.

Although that is kind of what my villain costume would be... from what my parents told me at least. It would mostly be to 'appeal' to the male villains so I could gain more popularity I guess. It really wasn't fit for combat and from what I'd seen it seemed like my parents expected me to use my quirk to kill people from inside out. How lovely...

I'd probably just wear a track suit or something and hope that water would be there. If so I'd be at an advantage there. However, if that wasn't the case I'd have to fully rely on my physical abilities..

That was fine though, it would be a lesson for me! I could try fighting without my quirk, there might be people I'd have to go against that had their ways with things like that.

I just needed to look at this positively, then I was sure I'd be totally fine! It would be a really fun experience, I could feel it. Hopefully more information would be sent in soon....

I had to sign up first though. I'd do that and just wait to hear more. Would they even let everyone do the entrance exam? Maybe they'd already have a selection before that... it wouldn't surprise me, but then again UA seems like the school to give everyone at least one chance to show what they've got. How could they decide who gets to do this entrance exam based on their name and quirk? Someone could have a super strong quirk but be really weak physically and the other way round was possible as well.

Well, I had to wait until this entrance exam to see what kind of people were there. I really hoped to hear more very soon, I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to sleep tonight because of the adrenaline that was running through my body because of this eventful day. I hadn't enjoyed myself this much in a really long time..

#bnha x oc #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #bnha #mha #mha x oc #bnha oc #mha oc

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mminhos · 6 years ago

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🍒Soft Bias Tag🍒

I was tagged by the lovely @pikachulein to do this tag! so thank youu hunnn 💕💕

🍒Who is your bias? 🍒

My bias is a hardworking man who I have nicknamed as 'Mango'. He's an amazing vocalist, dancer, rapper, and has probably the cutest laugh I have ever heard. He always makes me laugh and its of course, Lee Minho 😘

🍒What made you notice them?🍒

I mean, its always been Hyunjin that I've considered my main bias in Stray Kids. At first, Hyunjin was my bias but I'd always liked Minho for his dancing and singing, then i watched 'Hellevator' and his visuals hit me right in the face. I started considering him as my intense bias wrecker and it took lots of gifs from my gc to make me bias him. even though I still didn't. I don't know what happened, but one day I just said, "fuck it, he's my main bias" and here we are today.

🍒What's your favourite thing about them?🍒

e v e r y t h i n g. I do have a real soft spot for his laugh though. Like its so cute and funny and its one of those laughs that make you laugh because of it and I just find that really lovely. Its no secret that he was born to dance, and I think the passion he has for it is another thing I love about him. Minnie is so hardworking and determined and that's another thing i love about him. One thing that made me start to bias him even more is his sarcasm and sassiness. Like its really funny seeing him sass the members and, TBH, I'm kinda like that too, so that drew me into him as well. And Minsung. I cannot leave out Minsung because I think my friend would kill me lmao.

🍒Who would initiate skinship more?🍒

I mean, most probably him. Have you seen the way he is with Jisung?😂 All seriousness though, I do love hugs and if I got the chance, I think I'd non stop hug Minho. Like follow him round in a backhug, actually, I would probably just want to backhug him 24/7 because he seems really cuddly to me. Minho's also always trying to kiss the members, so if I'm behind him, he wouldn't be able to do that :).

🍒Who would hog the blankets more?🍒

I tend to roll around a lot and the blankets get caught up in my legs because they're so d a m n long and annoying, but sometime during the night, I'm going to end up basically on Minho's side, so he can take the blankets back if he wishes. Mind you, I'm a hot, temperature wise, person, so i get warm really easily, so he can have them all. Apart from in the Winter, because they're all mine then.

🍒Who would be more clingy?🍒

Hmm.... that depends. I feel like him? I'm not a naturally clingy person when it comes to anything, apart from hugs, so I feel like he'd always be trying to give kisses, like he does to Jisung. But ngl, I'll accept them anytime of day. Even if its past midnight.

🍒Who would be more flustered?🍒

Me 100000x. The boy doesn't even blush s l i g h t l y when he's trying to kiss or hug a member. I also think he likes to do secret aeygo and his American dancing. B o i , if he does his American dancing anywhere near me, I'm going red as a tomato and running out of there. Plus, I'm five years younger than him which is the age gap between my parents just saying I feel like he'd like getting me to blush because he's that type of person.

🍒What cuddling position would you two have?🍒

Well, we're the same size as each other, so I believe I'm going to permanently back hug this bean. I also really want to like play with his hair because he seems like he'd fall asleep to that and I want my boy to get rest. But then, i also like my hair getting played with, so the classic lying head on chest thing, because I fall asleep like that a lot. So basically, any cuddling position, I will not care, because its my baby mango.

🍒What colour reminds you of them and why?🍒

Pink. Not because of that video where had changed all his bedding to pink, but because he just seems so soft and and his sassiness reminds me of pink. So lets say like a light pink, because that's a good colour, and I think it matches Minho well in my opinion.

🍒Which season would you like to spend with them?🍒

Well my favourite season is Autumn and his is as well, so why not Autumn? You can go for walks in the parks and I would really like to do that with Minho tbh, and I always see cute dogs running after leaves so I'm going over to stroke them all. And then we can go to a café and order a takeaway hot chocolate and walk back through the woods and just have fun.

🍒Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?🍒

I mean, I'm clumsy af, and I think Minho is as well. So, uhh, how about TRY to make the cookies. I mean, I can cook, I just burn myself a lot, so I feel like Minhi would be in the kitchen to make sure I don't burn myself and in the mean time, start eating the cookie batter, to which I throw flour at him for. Then I'd probably start eating the batter, so we ain't gonna be having cookies.

🍒Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?🍒

I mean, we all saw how he reacted to "Lee Know, You Know?" and bad puns make me cringe so we'd both probably avoid them. Although, i will say one from time to time, just to annoy him. He'd probably just stare at me like he did with Chan, so I'll just walk off and do something, sniggering to myself because I'm lowkey evil.

🍒Who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?🍒

Minho already has two cats, and I have a cat and a dog, so probably both of us. He'd probably want the cats so I'll take the dogs and just cuddle them instead of him because I adore dogs ask anyone in my gc @uselessflower-pan

🍒Which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a poptart and who would come to the rescue?🍒

Lowkey probably anyone of us. I tried putting a plastic cup in the microwave when I was half asleep, so I'd probably try a poptart and then he comes in and is like "I don't think we do that babe" and I'm like "sure whatever , I'm going back to sleep"

🍒Who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back?🍒

Well this is obviously going to be me. Minho, the poor baby, doesn't like heights while I don't actually mind them. I do have a habit of leaning over railings but I feel like he'd just pull me away because he's more scared for me than I am for myself😂

🍒What would watching a horror film with them be like?🍒

I l o v e horror movies. I can watch them all day. I feel like Minho isn't the biggest horror movie fan, but because I'm such a loving person, I'm gonna make him watch them with me. However, I am a very jumpy person, so he has to be prepared for me nearly knocking him in the face with my arms and nearly making his hand lose all blood circulation.

🍒Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?🍒

Him for both. I can't flirt to save my life, so he's gonna be doing all the flirting. Sorry Mango

🍒Who is more competitive?🍒

I mean, both of us? I feel like we'd be competitive with each other. Also, I'm going to be doing Just Dance with him. Just saying.

🍒Who would have to be given reminders(remember to eat, don't forget your keys, etc.)?🍒

Both of us? I feel like it might just be a thing we do, like I'd remind him not to forget to eat and take breaks, he'd remind me what books I would need and that i do need to drink more than one drink a day. I guess it would just be a couple thing.

🍒Who sends memes and who sends cute things like "I miss you" texts at 3am?🍒

You see, this is where I said that me and Minho are similar, comes into play. I feel like we'd both spam each other with memes and then he'd say something like 'I miss you' and then I'd say 'I miss you too' and then its 'nah i don't actually' and then me calling him about fifty swear words and then spamming with a bunch of love hearts because I'm soft for one man, and that is Lee Minho.

So that is it, damn this was long, but i ain't lying when it comes to my special mango.💞💖💓💘💕💗💝

And Chan or Seungmin or any of you, if you're reading this, tell Minho I love him very much and am proud of him. Thank you 💗

I'm tagging: @ultrasoftstraykids @uselessflower-pan @brini144 @strawberry-jaehyun @magicaldreamfox1 @stray-kz @taetaejagiyaaa95 @bloomingfantasy @renjuncoven @junguwuz @miatsubaki23 @bndnsclf8 @dreamsaboutnct @uwu-seungminnie @yeehawnana and anyone else who wants to do this!

#tagged #tag #soft bias tag #minho stray kids #lee minho #stray kids #this made me sob #i love him too much #what a babe #💗💗💗#💓💓💓💓

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trulymadlysydney · 8 years ago

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Awwww honey, I understand. I get having natural curiosity, people love mysteries, but at the same time, as someone listening to H with just the purity of the art in mind, I don't want to picture a specific person who touched his life, because I'd much rather take it as it is (interpretable), as opposed to getting upset and making myself envious over a prior relationship, no matter if it was long or brief. I hope you get some solace Syd, and I love you, you're a radiant drop of sun 💛

This is a very sweet message although I’m confused as to if the first part is addressing me or the anon but REGARDLESS!!!! Obviously it is all open to interpretation! Harry himself even said that.

It’s just like… and it’s not just me, I think I speak for all the sort of bigger blogs on Tumblr when I say this. (I know that’s like the cringiest thing I’ve ever said like “OHHH SO YOU THINK YOURE A BIG BLOG HUH?” Like insert Regina George from Mean Girls ‘oh so you think you’re pretty.’) But like… we can only say who we think a song is about so many times. We can only explain our feelings on the “new girlfriend” situation so many times. We can only speculate, or be the middleman between two opinionated anons with opposing perspectives, or say “please stop speculating” so many times before it gets old. And it gets old really, really fast.

I get it! I get that people want comfort. I get that we all love Harry more than anything on this planet, and I get that it can be hard to hear him sing about the people *he’s* loved in his life. I get that the idea of him even considering having a new girlfriend is a tough pill to swallow. But, my goodness, doesn’t it get exhausting trying to figure everything out? Comparing yourself to the girls he’s been with or has been 'rumored’ to be with? It seems that that’s ALL anyone is talking about on Tumblr the past few days, and mostly in writing/bigger blog’s inboxes. (And again, I know. I sound like a douchenozzle “poor meeee I’m a big blog woe is me” and that’s not even slightly where I’m coming from.)

I said this earlier, but it’s like… there are moments in your life that stick with you. Especially in love. I don’t have feelings for anyone at the moment, but I’d be lying if I said moments from my past relationships didn’t make my heart feel things even still, years later. Harry didn’t write this album for everyone to make themselves sick trying to figure out who he’s singing about. He’s proud of the songs he chose to put out there. He narrowed it down to these specific songs out of the, what, 70 that he wrote? It’s therapeutic to get that stuff out there, I’m sure, and these are the messages he wanted to convey. It’s really disheartening when all people seem to care about is who he’s singing about.

I’m sorry for my rant that took up 800 miles, and I honest to God hope that this doesn’t come across as rude in any way, shape, or form. But please… please please please just stop speculating and be proud. I know it can be hard, but just try. It’s not worth the overthinking and the loss of sleep, and the tears. It’s just not. It happened. It all happened, and this album is happening, and Harry put so much time and hard work into it because he loves us and wants us to know him.

#also this wasn't @ you anon #I promise!!!#your message made me smile #it's more of like #a general note

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artistclock · 3 years ago

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WHEN IT WILL BE ME?

By: Cherry Mae Parohinog

Be the best or be nothing at all. Remember that no one remembers the second best or the rest for that matter. Aim for the top place. Always.

I had it in my head that individuals were constantly looking for attention and a good reputation. We lived for their compliments. Who doesn't like to be complimented? One positive word from you, they can live for a day. One positive sentence forms you, then they can build an altar and worship you. They can even kiss your feet.

"Our school's pride! Let us give Mr. Merritt a standing ovation! The well-known art competition was held in Manila. And, of course, congrats to Ms. Hernandez on her second-place finish. Thank you very much! Mr. Merritt, top one!”

Roaring applause was given by the crowd to us and especially to him. I don’t know if it’s because he’s drop-dead gorgeous or because he won. I bet my life, it’s the former.

When my name was called, I couldn't help but notice the host's low tone. See, second place means nothing. I also stood up and clapped. I didn't clap because I wanted to; I clapped because it was my initial inclination, and it was required by the program. And I should, because I'm one of the winners!

“Congratulations, Ms. Hernandez. Your arts are good and getting better.” The host mumbled to me and smiled with her lips pursed.

Comparative versus superlative adjective, I see.

Her words could no longer be heard due to the great weakness of her voice and the crowd’s loudness. I accept her compliment with a nod of my head. It would have been lovely to hear her praises, but they didn't last long in my ears. Her words sound rehearsed.

“Thank you, Ma’am.” I return the smile she gave to me.

Another medal and trophy to be cover with dust.

James Austin Merritt, the winner, in his custom-tailored tux from the back of the host, sashaying his way to us. His chiseled arms are highlighted by his serge coat. His tousled hair, crimson lips, flushed cheeks, and metal timepiece. His deportment now matched his brusqueness and arrogance so well. He looks expensive and extremely confident.

“I know I mentioned it before, but let me congratulate you again,” he says as he clears his throat. “Congratulations, Ms. Olivia,” He's in top form, with his cheeky smile on his face, and his right palms outstretched in front of me, indicating that I should take it.

This is the type of guy I should avoid.

“You, too, Mr. Merritt. You brought the school’s name again. I’m so honored to join you in that dazzling journey we had in Manila. You’re the best companion.” I clasped his hand in mine and smiled at him.

The words taste so wrong on my tongue. I can even taste the bitterness.

“You two did an outstanding job. And this handsome prodigy, oh, darling, make us prouder,” the host taps his right cheek. She has the look of a proud mother. I almost puked when I saw how sweet it was.

He turns his face toward me, allowing me to get a good look at his aristocratic features. “Not at all, Ma'am. Olivia is here, and she is the best at everything. As with anything! Did you happen to notice what she used in the competition? She used oil paint as well as poster paint! The beauty of her artwork is breathtaking! I'm lost for words to describe how stunning and talented she is. I was startled and mesmerized as I stared at her. I-I'm referring to her painting,” His prominent cheekbones turning a slight shade of red.

I stifle a little chuckle. I'd like to believe him. His comments, despite the oozing tone of sarcasm and stupidity, ring true in my ears. I only hope Mrs. Ronald, the host, agrees with us, although I doubt it. Her sour expression tells me so.

My hands are itching to hit him - no, beat him! Hmm… maybe later, Mr. Merritt.

“What exactly are you saying, Mr. Merritt? You won, which implies you're the best. What would happen to our department if you weren't there? A strong and confident man. Your artistic prowess is out of this world,” she shook her head, wanting to put a stop to the conversation.

Mrs. Roland may believe that a man has all the power, but this is not the case. I wholeheartedly disagree. I believe that women can accomplish just as much as men.

It appears to me that I am not as important as him and that I was only placed there to fill the gap. My achievement and trophy mean nothing to them.

“No, no, Ma’am. She’s also a winner in the competition too. I was so amazed at how good she was that I was ready to go home crying that day,” He shoves his hands in his pockets and glances over me. His left dimples popping out.

“Alright, Austin, if you say so. I'll leave you two alone now. I’ll just talk to someone on the other side.” She gracefully turns her back on us. Her sour expression remained.

“What was the point of that?” You want to court me?” My arms are folded on my chest.

His mouth fell open, and his brown eyes were as large as saucers and almost out of their sockets. He has a peculiar appearance. I nearly roll on the carpet!

“No. Never, Miss, but you can thank me though. And then I'll say, 'Welcome, Olivia.' How does that sound?”

I groan. As I looked at him, I wondered how someone could be so dumb.

“I appreciate your kind words, Mister. Hearing that made my day.” I mock him by pressing my palm to my chest and bowing slightly.

He mumbles an expletive under his breath. “Stop dissing me, please. The competition ended well and unbiasedly. And are we already friends, or am I imagining things? But for me, we’re already friends. We can help each other. We can also create beautiful artwork. What do you think?” He wiggles his eyebrow. As a result, he is quite attractive; otherwise, he would resemble Mr. Bean.

“No, we're not friends, and we never will be. Well, unless you are the firm believer of ‘keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer, then we can be friends,” I shrug my shoulder acting as a cool kid. I just need myself and no more.

His stares are so intense that I almost cringe.

“If that’s what you want, then fine. We’re enemies now.”

Perhaps it is true that when the universe aligns, there is a force that allows two opposing things to become one.

I let him see every inch of my heart.

On the floor was a jumble of canvases, paintbrushes, and paint colors. Images of hazy landscape sceneries, abstract paintings, and random people's portraits are hung, while some are simply lying against the wall. I watched him in the corner as he was serious about what he was doing. It’s like he’s the only one in the room and his painting is the most important thing in the world. His hand seems to be dancing to a rhythm that only he can hear. The veins in his arms protruded when the paintbrush kissed the canvas. His brow wrinkled and his crimson lips parted slightly. It's amazing to look at him in such a way that you wouldn't believe he's puerile and truant.

Let’s make art together. No rivalry between us.

His words break the high sturdy wall I built for anyone to protect myself.

“I'm hungry,” I said, although I'm not. All I want is for him to pay attention to me as well.

“Then, eat. I don't have your mouth,” he says. He didn't even look at me. He's really serious about what he's doing.

“You’re arts is romantically beautiful, Austin. It never fails to amaze me. I want to make you a statue,”

“Really? That's very thoughtful of you, Olivia. Thank you for your backhanded compliments. It's much appreciated. And I think... I'm going to cry. Could you please hand me a tissue?” He retorted.

Oh, God! Give me more patience.

Dropping my head back against my chair and dragging my breath through my nose. I prop my right elbow on the armrest and lean my head against my hand.

“Have you read what was posted in the bulletin? They’ll have competition again. Maybe you'd like to join?” Now he's focused on me and telling me something else. His words were vague in my ears. In a trance, I'm staring at a line of ants scurrying around the wall. What if I lose once more? A second-place finisher again? I don't want to lose. For once, I'd want to be on top. No, I always want to be at the top. No one but myself! The best of the rest!

I'm a sad little girl who craves attention and longs to escape reality. My anxiety began to attack.

I recall my father yelling at me, "I won't look at your trashy trophy, and I'm not proud!" He claimed that painting is not a career and that I cannot earn a living from it. The benefit here is that dad let me choose the course I wanted, which is why I chose fine arts, but how could this freedom feel so lonely?

He spews his venom at me for not being the best. I held my tongue and waited until he was satisfied with the damage. I can't blame him; he's one of the most competitive people I've ever met. He was distraught. It’s like I’m trying to hold hot water in my bare hands. So cruel. He has such a terrible opinion of me. I value the arts in all of their forms.

I believe in the power of words and their ability to affect people. They have the power to make or break you. They can even kill you.

“You’re worthless! You deserved everything bad that happened to you! All the hate! Why won’t you just die?!” I screamed as I stood in front of the mirror, pointing to myself.

And he made me feel unloved and unworthy.

I was immersed in thought when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

He looks at me as if he’s reading my mind and my soul, “Hey, I got you now. You’re doing your absolute best. Stop trying to control everything around you. Stop it. Stop thinking about the outcome of every situation, just enjoy the moment. Don’t be hard on yourself, Olivia.” His tone is gentle.

“If everyone turns their back on you, then look at me. I’m your number one fan, remember? I hope that’s enough.” He mumbled.

In response, I gave him my genuine smile.

People have asked me if I’m okay with placing second or third, and I’ve always said yes. That's the response they're looking for. They don't care about me. They simply want to pique their interest. That's all there is to it. That's why, in the end, you're the only one left in the dark, bruised, and defeated. You didn't get the kind of attention you were hoping for. Who would want to hear from someone like me? Nobody knows who I am. This is how the world works

Jesus! I sound like a petulant child.

The afternoon zephyr gently ruffled my hair a little. I'm seated in my school uniform on the far side of the school's reading sanctuary section's concrete gazebo, surrounded by trees whose leaves are already falling and scattering on the sidewalk. It's a peaceful spot. The sound of the page of the book I’ am reading hurt the silence of the surroundings.

It tells the story of a wise man who can't seem to find himself. He was enslaved to the standard that society and his family imposed on him. Because of his intelligence, he lacked a friend. His diary was his lone confidante. In this journal, he writes down all of his thoughts and the words that are stuck in his head.

Why do I have an affinity towards him? Perhaps because we are in a similar situation. I recognize myself in him and can relate to him. If he utilized a pen and paper to write down what was going through his mind. In turn, I used a paintbrush and a canvas to express my feelings and resentments in life.

I was so engrossed in my daydream that I didn't notice the mighty Austin lounging coolly against the jamb of the gazebo, hands in his pockets, and chewing his bubble gum, which he even inflated and chewed again. Yes, he is sometimes gross. He chuckles awkwardly at me and takes the chocolate cupcake from his pocket. He uses his teeth to peel it off.

“I wish you a very happy birthday, Olivia. And I'm sorry I won't be singing you a happy birthday song. Now, Olivia, make a wish.��

I lock my gaze on him. I consider myself extremely blessed to have him. I close my eyes and whisper to the wind.

“Break those shackles, and watch me fly.”

My room opens with a loud bang, waking me up. I could see his familiar shape in my hazy eyes.

“Join the contest and show me what you've got.” He spoke it loudly and authoritatively. My father's actions surprised me. Isn't that the truth? I heard it very clear. My nails dug into the palms of my hands so deeply.

Take the risk or lose the chance. I'd go with the former, despite my reservations.

I shield my face from the light with my right hand. He, too, squints from the sun. I'm not sure why we decided to go for a walk in the middle of the day. I'm perspiring, and his neck is flushed. He unlocked the door for me when we arrived at the school's art studio. The door is excessively large and heavy. To open it, he must use all of his strength.

“How come this old door won't let a handsome man like me in? If this door is a woman, I'd say she's just trying to get my attention.” He winks at me as he turns to face me.

This man!

I take a seat next to him and maintain a comfortable distance between us. We're currently practicing. The crickets could be heard all around us.

To be honest, I had lost track of what made me happy. I've run out of ideas, motivation, and energy. I didn't have anything to look forward to. I close my eyes tightly.

“Yes, you’re doing it right. Stroke it slowly. Don’t get frustrated,”

“Everything is mediocre,” I scream, hurling the paintbrush. He took it and returned it to me.

“Slow progress is better than no progress at all, Olivia,”

“Easy for you to say. You’re famous. You’re so good. No, you’re the best! The greatest! Everyone loves you. And me, I’ am no one. A good-for-nothing daughter. Tell me… when it will be me?”

He blinks several times. Because of his heavy breathing, I notice his shoulders bouncing up. He's chewing his lower lip. In his eyes, I can feel his exasperation and sorrow. He reaches for my face and gently caresses my cheek.

“You know what, I think I should call it quits. My dreams are shattered all around me. From the start, everything is wrong. I can't function properly,” I grumble. I'm furious at myself.

I'm losing control of everything. I'm losing interest in things that used to excite me. It’s like I'm no longer a part of anything. My cheeks are flushed with tears.

“If that’s wrong, then I don’t want to be right. And don’t compare your artworks to mine, or everyone, that’s just deadly. Everyone has their uniqueness. You are your person,” he whispers.

Despite his words, I am still empty. I'm desperate to get this emotion out of my system.

“It isn't that simple.”

The opinions of those around us have an impact on how we perceive ourselves. Austin, on the other hand, is arrogant, harsh, and blunt, but he can be a dark knight in sparkling armor. He sees right through people. He lives his life to the fullest.

I stare out the window. The car was moving so fast that the trees we were passing through swiftly vanished from my vision. I'm leaning against to it. I believe we are all dissatisfied individuals. We wish for something that we don't have. We envy people and things in various ways and on various levels. We wish to be that person and live their life. We desire things to satisfy ourselves. People are usually asking for something good, yet they are frequently asking for something bad. We just don't notice it, or if we do, we're too afraid to acknowledge it. People are also cynical.

I'm extremely nervous right now. Inside, my toes wiggled into my shoes. I can even hear my heartbeat in my ears and a strong throb against my skull. I'm feeling nauseous. My heartbeat quickened as fear swelled in my chest. Austin, on the other hand, appears to be a lost child at the playground. His eyes are shining with enthusiasm.

Today is the competition day. I used to think of him as my enemy, my tough opponent. But suddenly things are different.

“I'm drowning in anxiety and fear. Who wants to swim with me?” I asked him. We were in the park at the time. I'm sitting on the concrete bench, watching the kids play.

“Me. I can even bring some colorful floaters. You want that?” he answered me while licking his lollipop.

I lift my eyes and stare at him. He was looking at a large artwork in front of us, arms akimbo. He has a carefree smile on his face.

“This is it! The world has to be ready. We are here now, ready to conquer them,” He has a devilish grin on his face.

"Don't live too much in our head, Olivia. This time you are not alone,” He added, and continued watching the artwork, "I will not allow you."

The overthinking sucks that drove me to do some irrational things, as well as my anxiety, which accompanies me around and feeds my fear, are still here. Now all I have to do is revalue myself to forgive and love myself better. I'm going to improve with time.

And he’s with me now. We are here now. This is our now. This is the reality.

“And Olivia, it’s always been you.”

#creativewriters #creative writing #creativestory #artistry #short story #writing #words words words #when will it be my turn

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