#alternatively: dreamling au of dbd aka hob the obituary writer and his weird little friend the sandman

[bi-demon-ium]

so i was watching the sandman and i just think actually the angel of death & the obituary writer au based on dream of the endless & hob gadling (except without the homoerotic subtext)

like. obviously it wouldn’t be just the same but what i’m saying is the obituary writer, obsessed with death and murder and etc, declaring he himself has no plans of dying any time soon as he fully intends to keep writing about it for a long time to come. Literally Death Herself is here for this and is like lol. lmao. okay then how about you meet me here in a hundred years then, mortal, and we’ll see how that goes for you.

she’s fully expecting him to admit his “mistake” but she meets him a hundred years later and he’s literally just as chipper and weird and offbeat and happy and he’s like oh my GOD they’ve invented so many cool new things and now i can write my obituaries on a TYPEWRITER do you know how COOL THAT IS and he’s just like. happily recounting all the stuff he’s seen and learned and she’s like “what the fuck” and the button-eyed raven is like WOE AND DESPAIR. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS DUDE

so shes like okay damn a hundred years again (i like to imagine they meet in a graveyard instead of a tavern but he does keep bringing tea and he insists on bringing a cup for both her and the button-eyed raven even though neither of them ever indulge) and they meet up and sure enough!!!! there he is, in all black, chattering on about how the interesting obituaries he’s made and how his taxidermy habit is going and the new advancements in the medical/death fields and she’s just like. very reluctantly growing fond of this strange little dude. she’s like “how can a mortal be so irritating and yet so goddamn endearing” and the button-eyed raven, who O.W. keeps bringing berries and little strips of meat and stuff for, is like MISERY AND AGONY. HE HAS GOOD TASTE THOUGH

and like. it soon becomes clear that he’s. kind of lonely. lowkey. man loves talking to her and telling her about all the wonders of life--and she’s listening and sharing literally zero (0) things about herself, although very funny if later she’s like [with great gravity] i.... am the angel of death and hes like yea i kno<3 im very good at this death stuff u kno i am The Obituary Writer and shes like (suddenly realizing she doesn’t actually know his name) hang on--

(alternatively she’s like *waiting for him to freak out* and he’s like oh. em. GEE! i’m a huge fan!!! you’re so cool wow i’m friends with the coolest person<3 and she’s like. right. i forgot. you’re fuckin weird.)

anyway like. idk it falls apart a little here but some other thoughts:

the obituary writer coming to her, deeply excited that he’s made a friend (!!!!!) a friend a friend a FRIEND!!!

the angel of death privately thinks but she is mortal, and you are not.

she is not happy to be proven right.

she wonders if this will make him ask for death.

it doesn’t.

(he doesn’t ask for charlotte’s life, either, only asks what can be done about the heart--asks what can be done, but not for her to do anything.)

(she’s glad he understands, glad he doesn’t presume--but wonders if it’s because she’s not a “friend”?)

also i was thinking about how it would be hard to separate O.W. from crestfall and being immortal usually lends to one moving around a lot but then i was like “lmao actually this is crestfall. everyone’s just like oh yeah that’s o.w. he’s been around since like the 1600s or something idk but he’s weird and he’s probably killed a guy at some point. great taste in wine tho”

 the angel of life, the interfering sibling with a grudge

also i feel like the hundred years thing wouldn’t hold up bc o.w. is just like. cheerfully like [starts shouting in a graveyard] HEY!!!! CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION!!! IM WRITING AN OBITUARY ABOUT THIS LADY WHO DIED BY LEAF BLOWER AND I’D REALLY LIKE TO UNDERSTAND THE LOGISTICS HERE and she just walks out from behind a gravestone like. o.w. you DO know i’m busy right. and he’s like PLEASE and she’s like ...........................okay listen it was really funny actually,

would the angel of death, too, be captured? would o.w. imply she was a friend and invoke her rage/cold indifference/pride? how similar we getting here?

i just think Obituarywriter “If Someone Doesn’t Hug Him In Season Two I’m Rioting” Lastname deserves friends. and i feel like his relationship with the angel of death is real interesting bc it’s like ARE they friends? do they consider themselves friends? he’s clearly fine randomly talking to her about stuff and she definitely tolerates him (although there’s a comment about “i can’t WAIT to take your soul” i feel like she’s at the LEAST fond of him) so like. lkdfjgdfghg???

i feel like their relationship is best summed up by that thing i put in a summary once:

the angel of death watching her weird little guy vault some gravestones and sprint away before she's even finished her sentence: ah. what a weird little guy