#altaïr wanted to see desmond freak out and jump really high

[teecupangel]

Catboy nonny yet again with another idea: cucumbers.

Since cucumbers come originally from like India or China I think, it wouldn’t be a stretch that Altaïr or someone in the Levant could get his hands on one and….cat instincts react…

For those unfamiliar with the whole ‘cats are scared of cucumbers’ thing (like me), here’s a compilation of it.

If you guys want more catboy!Desmond, just click the catboy Desmond tag. I think that gets most of them lol.

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Malik did not know where Altaïr bought that thing.

Merchants knew that their mentor liked seeing new and strange things so they would peddle their wares here in Masyaf. It was helping with the development of the village beneath the castle but…

It also meant that Altaïr bought a lot of strange things.

Including these… dark green elongated… things.

“They’re for Desmond.” Altaïr said and frowned when he saw Malik’s expression. Altaïr sighed as he clarified, “It’s not for… pleasure.”

Malik continued to judge him quietly, making Altaïr’s right eye twitch as he stated, “It really isn’t for pleasure.”

Malik lowered his head to stare at the shape of these dark green things then look back at Altaïr, making it clear how he felt about the obvious lies leaving Altaïr’s lips.

Altaïr rubbed his face before saying, “Not everything is about sex, Malik. It says something about you that you would think that something as innocent as vegetables would be some kind of device for pleasure.”

“I believe it says more about how you have been acting with Desmond that our minds immediately assume this is related to something sexual because it’s for Desmond.” Malik countered.

“It’s not.” Altaïr stressed.

“Meow?”

Both men turned towards the door where Desmond peeked his head, ears flickering a bit. His face was full of curiosity and Altaïr covered the plate of whatever the hell it was with a piece of cloth.

So it was a surprised sex thing.

Malik really needed to get out of here before they started acting like they usually did.

Desmond’s feline eyes zero’ed in on the piece of cloth, having seen Altaïr’s fast movements.

His tails began to swish from side to side.

“Desmond, no-”

Malik stepped to the side, more to not be part of whatever was about to happen than to actually evade Desmond’s attack.

The cloth was pulled back and thrown, Malik calmly catching it in midair before it smack him on the face. He started to fold it while Desmond stared at the dark green things. Altaïr was by his side, staring at Desmond’s face.

The anticipation rolling in waves all over him.

Malik slowly made his way towards the door, placing the neatly folded cloth on the nearby desk when he passed by it.

Desmond made a weird sound that was half a meow and half a squeal and grabbed one of the dark green things and-

… ate it.

Malik could see the happy expression on Desmond’s face as he ate the thing enthusiastically.

And the disappointment in Altaïr’s expression.