#also............. and you'll know who you are if you read this..........

[dilf-docs]

My Baby's Fit Like A Daydream

husband!pedro pascal x younger!reader

summary: your relationship is finally out to the world. now, pedro and you will explore what it feels like to have your love out in the open.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, FLUFF, the empire of bad humor strikes again, hurt/comfort bc all roads lead back to angst, a brief mention of bodyshaming, this is lowkey pwp my bad, dirty talk, fingering, p. in v., bathroom sex ijbol, exhibition kink (they be fucking everywhere but in a bed), degradation kink (he calls her a slut twice), the one and only creampie (twice), so naturally: breeding kink, ALSO pls stop the husband!pedro reqs, i beg. a delulu girl can only take so much 💔

word count: 10,991 words

side note: not one but two requests to be fullfilled! this is as a sequel to call it what you want. also, spam time: i happen to write in wattpad as well, and i have a pedro pascal social media fic going on :) but it's on spanish tho. if u speak the language and would like to tune in, read it here AND spam again but speaking of the ptwt dynamic, why don't we become moots? check my (new) stan twitter account here (i had one in 2022 that i had since 2016 but entered a crisis and deleted it lol)

part: I/II

The news had spread like wildfire.

As soon as you hit the red carpet, hand on hand, rings finally on display―shining under the spotlight, your phone had been blowing up nonstop: every show, podcast, tabloid, news outlet and social media had been talking about it. California had turn into an easter egg playground; everyone was eager to know it all.

(They had found the church where you married, the dress boutique, jewelry shop where Pedro bought the rings―the employees ratted him out, even sharing pictures of the moment, your husband posing with them without knowing of the future treason. They too had found the place where the reception took place, and even the name of the priest who had married you, but he refused to give the hungry press any details. God Bless)

In short, it had been a hell of a week. You figured dissapearing for a while was for the best, but with some interviews still left, that option had been discarded. Still, doesn't mean you couldn't retreat for a couple of days to the tranquility of your home while it was time to show up again. Well, as peaceful as it could get, since reporters were camping near your house and roaming around Hollywood Hills like vultures; the neighbour's nagging was just another layer of problems in your shit cake.

"I'm sorry, Louis. Walks will be postponed for a while" you talk to your cat, but the lazy bastard just stretches and lays down again. "Yeah, I can see you're affected. Don't cry"

"It's not the cat's fault" Pedro emerges from behind, "don't take it out on him"

He takes a sit next to you, two mugs in hand. He gives you the one with a chocolate steam, a souvenir he bought when you visited your home country last summer. You wonder if that's a trip you'll ever be able to make again.

"I'm not. Just- It's horrible that I can't even go outside my own house and walk the same roads I've walked in four years because the press is hidden with cameras in, I don't know, bushes!" you exclaim, quiet rage carried within your words. "It's unfair, really. All I want is to walk my damn cat without a flash up my ass"

Pedro nestles his face in your neck, nose carressing the skin. Giggles leave your lips, the sensation ticklish.

"It'll pass. It always does" he says, voice assuring, probably because he's used to the violation of privacy, but you're not. Getting bigger, is this the price to pay for making a name for yourself and claiming out loud who you love?

"I hope so" you murmur above the quietness of your home, a sound as eerie as fake, devoid of it's tranquil nature as a world of invasion awaits outside.

"Do you trust me?" Pedro speaks, voice unwavering. He holds your gaze, steady brown challening your shaky orbs.

"I do" you speak up, yet you wish you could believe it. You believe in him, there's no question to that, but do you believe in yourself? That the love you'd put out to the world would be treated with the same care and respect you have treated it in secret? For a fleating moment, you miss the secrecy.

"Then trust me this will be over sooner than expected" he presses a kiss to your lips, soft and sweet, feeling remanents of chocolate he licks away, as you mockingly yell ¡Qué sucio! but it's devoid of malice. "In time, this will become another anecdote we'll share with our kids, and laugh with our grandkids when we get older"

You smile, feeling tears in the corner of your eyes. Oh, doesn't he turn you into a pathetic sappy wife?

"Well" you sniffle, giggling to push back the tears away. "About the old part..."

He playfully kicks your side. "Uno ya no puede ser romántico, que le salen con estas cosas. Your generation could use some respect, you know?" (one can't simply be romantic anymore)

Pedro gets up, picking the mug from your hands as both rings brush together, the gold shinning under the morning Californian sun.

"And your generation could take a joke" you quip, lips curled up like you hadn't in weeks.

"Very funny, y/n. Thought you loved me" but then he's pressing a kiss to your temple like kissing you once isn't enough, promising to return after washing down the mugs.

"I do!" you shout to his dissapearing broad frame as he enters the kitchen, and he playfully makes a dissmissing move with his palm.

The laughing dies when your phone chimes next to you.

You shouldn't really, but the curiosity that draws you in is as intense as a magnet. The phone burns on its position, screaming for you to open it, despite being told by your husband that the best was choice was to ignore it until the buzz had died down, but you're afraid the turmoil isn't nowhere to be finished. Comments can be mean, he'd said, they can hurt you. Pedro said he'd learn with time to ignore it, but he was experienced. You weren't, so naturally, as your husband and protector, he wanted to shield you from the pain.

Although, both of your fandoms had been pretty supportive of your relationship, some user even claiming to suspect it, making threads full of easter eggs and connections that validated the theory which was now a reality. I've connected the dots, followed by pictures of you sharing wardrobe, slips on interviews, similar backgrounds in your posts across social media, and of course, the two Gladiator Ii interviews. Many resorted to making edits or screaming over your pictures in the premiere, demanding for more content you had yet caved in to share (there was a gigantic carpet of evidence sitting heavy in your cloud).

So, in a way, this support made it hard for you to truly dimension the hate Pedro warned you about: all you saw was fans being happy and showering you with love, making paparazzi to be the only problem as for now.

That's it.

You cave in, turning the phone on as you bite your lip, searching first your Instagram: a bunch of new followers, many with variations of ispunk on their usernames, as well as a swarm of comments on your recent posts. There's a small voice in your head telling you to turn away, but your thumb moves without thinking, clicking on pictures of the red carpet―a carrousel of you and then a picture of you both at the end, one fans had been gushing about the last couple of days, rings on display, practically up their noses. You were smiling, and Pedro was looking at you fondly, his other hand holding Lux but his gaze never leaving yours; he was too perfect to be real―yours.

You unconsciously smile at the captured moment, love obvious on your faces, so you open the comments, thinking it would be the same support or love radiating of the comment.

But boy, weren't you wrong?

It was all the same, support lost between waves of hate. Variations of bodyshaming, age shaming and even gold digger claims were on full display across the comment section. "She's ugly" "In it for the money, am I right?" "I thought Pedro had better taste, lol" "She got the role in Gladiator II because of nepotism. Or cocksucking" and then a cruel answer that read "Right, threesome with Ridley. Ew, what a whore!"

Worst of it all, some even had Pedro profile pictures, or usernames and accounts dedicated to him.

Your heart was beating like crazy, chest heavy and hollow, face red with emotions you couldn't quite place (embarrasment? fear? rage? sadness?) as you kept searching across Twitter*, doing a quick skim of the trendings that included you. The same hate speech pattern was all over the timeline, some betting for divorce in a couple of years (even months!), while others took their time dissecting your looks and relationship. As if they knew. Long gone were the edits and harmless threads: the hate wave was here to stay. Some where even being a bit racist, the irony of it all, being Pedro himself was latino and didn't shy away from it, rather proud as he didn't miss an opportunity to shot out his dear Chile. Or any social issue, as a matter of fact, very vocal on his political beliefs.

This was fucking ridiculous, and if the cameras were an issue, this swarm of negativity is what really took a toll on you, the flashes as you went grocery shopping now barely a scratch. No, this was worst. All you wanted to do was cuddle in a blanket while wearing one of Pedro's shirts and dissappear. Too much noise. Too much hate. You can feel it creeping up your body, tainting your soft curves, wrinkles, acne scars and face. It's like rough hands, tugging harsh, ripping your vocals because you can't scream; no words to express this pain.

You knew one day it would come, but never imagined the hurt and to what extent people were capable of. Cruelty. Dissecting your life and body like it was a show for them to be entertained: your marriage was a circus and your body a joke.

It hurt their condescending dismiss of your love, questioning as if the gap were only numbers and not a pillar of your relationship that made you and Pedro closer, despite the bridge in age. You were reduced to a middle-age crisis, and he to a filthy man pinning for a younger girl. Your body was turn apart, despite no real flaws existing. Humans are meant to be so, not perfect, but real, and that was the problem: you had turn into an object―a target for their dards to pierce through.

Your body shakes violently with cries, deafening your ears that you don't hear when Pedro walks in.

"Why are you crying?" he rushes to your side, panic on his voice. "What happened? Are you hurt?"

You barely manage to shake your head, and then his eyes scan all over your features, until they land on the phone on your hands. The worry turns to anger as he asks:

"You looked at them, didn't you?"

He isn't yelling, but it would be better if he did. This contained fury, fading into dissapointment, as if you were a naive child scolded by their parents makes you feels small and stupid, as if you knew no better.

"I'm sorry-" you manage to choke out among tears, "I know you told me-"

"I told you" he interrupts, words laced with wrath, "so this wouldn't happen. See what happens?"

"Why are you talking to me like it's my fault?" you yell, and Pedro sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation. "I didn't ask to receive all this! Do I deserve the death threats, shame and hate?"

He walks past you, and it's like a slap to your face. Was he going to behave like this? Didn't it matter how you felt, or was it something childish that could be brush to the side like nothing? Insecurities you hadn't even think of come crashing down on you, doubts creeping up and attacking you from all sides. It's horrible. You try to hold onto the good memories, praying you don't loose him. You can't. You just can't.

"Answer!" you demand, tears spilling like a broke dam.

"I was just closing the windows. Or do you want to fuel the talk, huh? Give the hungry hoard more to bite?" Pedro then stands to hold your gaze, and you hate that you can't place his emotions. Anxiety corrodes your brain: was this really the beginning of the end?

"Do I?" you dare to speak up, and even if its loud, it comes out drowned, the exhaustion from the emotional turmoil taking its toll on you. "Do I deserve it?"

"No, you don't, carajo!" Pedro bursts. "You don't deserve any of that, which is why I didn't want you looking at those things!"

He sighs, realizing the anger is misdirected.

"I'm sorry"

Your broken wails are the only thing to be heard. He hates himself for being a part of it, even if not the biggest.

"No, I'm sorry for being so stupid" you sob. "I-I just wanted for people to be as happy for us as I am with you"

"Come here" but he's the one cutting the space to embrace you.

His scent calms a part of you, body still rocking with violent shakes.

"You're not stupid. Nor ugly, or any of those things people are calling you. No, mi amor. You're beautiful, smart and talent. They fail to realize I'm the lucky one. So please, don't be hard on yourself, yeah? I can't bear to see it. Less if I know it's not true. You didn't ask for it; you don't deserve all that bullshit"

He presses a kiss to your temple, arms that hug you tighter holding you close close up to the point his heartbeat melts within your own.

I won't let you go. You won't fall as long as I got you.

"We'll get through this, yeah? Think of the future, and what's to come. It's hard, that I know, but let us enjoy the moment. Life is too precious to waste it away" he brushes stray tears with his thumb, softly and full of love that words aren't enough to express. "I'm here" the out loud, "and I'm not going anywhere. That's a promise"

Later that day, Pedro posts a carrousel of unseens, even one of your wedding (a video of your first dance), telling people to leave you alone. That he loves you, and that no malicious news, fans or comments will ever change that―suck it energy laced within his rageful statement.

Safe to say, in the next weeks, hate is barely a small voice whispering in the back of your neck, one that hushes down with each kiss and/or words uttered by your one and only devoted husband.

mandoshoney: y/n protection squad pull up, we ride at dawn starlightt180: unhing3dprincess WHERE ARE U??? PTWT IS IN SHAMBLES AND NEEDS U MY SHAYLAAAAAAAAAA elysyannemimi: i feel like a kid scolded by their dad. pedro has achieved the ultimate daddy status bobgirlll: is no one going to talk about how rageful/protective pedro sounded in that story????? NEED MORE FERAL PEDRO RN GRRrrrr ps. photos so cute, wish that was me lol pyramiidsf: i hope y/n is okay, ppl can be so cruel sometimes but at least she's got pedro on her side <3 he's such a perfect man :,)

It had been days since your fight.

In an sweet attempt to cheer you up, Pedro had taken you out for dinner to a fancy restaurant you can't remember the name of. If they'll snap pictures of my wife without my permission, I might as well show you off. So, per his petition, you had wore a little black dress that hugged every curve of your body perfectly and pushed your tits to the top. Stunning, he had growled, and it had been hard to push him off as he devoured your mouth in your house's doorstep.

"Let's give them talk" you had agreed.

So now you sat at the restaurant, Pedro filling your cup of wine for the third time in a row, talking about all and nothing: about politics, the weather, your siblings, Louis the cat, upcoming gigs around your home you wanted to go to, how support had risen and the hate had dwindled, the numerous calls of job offers and interviews to keep on milking your relationship... life had never been more hectic.

"You know, maybe the dress was a bad idea" he takes a bite of his meat, tone nonchalant.

"Yeah?" you challenge, cheeks flushed with alcohol, "why's that? I thought I had to look good. What changed your mind?"

"Turns out" he looks at you, gaze piercing through your body, brown warm eyes darkening, "I figured something"

You know your husband. It's still fresh in your mind the first day you took a notice of it: jaw clenching, gaze fixated at nothing and white fists balled up on to the sides, arms swinging while fingers itched. A vein on his forehead would pop, and brows would melt together in a furrow. It happened when you got recognized by a fan, on your early days, and he had taken a picture of you, uploading it to social media. Dating Pedro had been going on for little to five months, and the way this guy hugged you from behind, hand resting above your ass, had made your then-boyfriend see red. His posture stiffened, demeanor changed and face adquired all the characteristics above. There was only one correct answer: Pedro was jealous, so fucking jealous.

So here he is now, jealous to the bone, alcohol increasing the rage.

"And that is?" you push his buttons, something you normally wouldn't do, but you're drunk and God, so sex-starved. His possesive side was always hot, yet now? It had a layer of allure it didn't have before, the idea of calming him down long lost.

"You know what it is" he answers, but you tilt your head to the side, acting confused. Pedro growls, clenching the glass a bit too tight; you fear it'll break.

"No, I don't" you serve more wine in your glass, savouring the liquid. Some spills into your mouth, and you lick it while not breaking eye contact. "Enlighten me"

"Turns out" the words come out strained, a whirlwind of emotions burning in the tip of his tongue, "that I wanted people to look at my wife, but I looked their looks and realized I don't like how they look at her"

He rambles the words out, speech pattern slurred and ideas clashing into one another, clearly drunk.

"I see" you draw out, demeanor calm, but your panties have started to get wet.

"No" he hits the table, making your eyes go wide and people turn to your table. You should be embarrased, but you're only aroused. "You don't see what I see. And I hate it, I fucking hate it" he seethes, words spit out over your unfinished meal.

"Dessert?" the waiter appears from seemingly nowhere, menu on hand.

Pedro doesn't even look when he answers, "Sure. Bring your best"

"The chef's suggestion is Soufflé, a classic dessert from his country"

"That'll do" Pedro looks at you, but his brain seems to be somewhere else. Like he's thinking. "How long will it take?"

The waiter ponders the answer, yet doesn't think any weird of it.

"About twenty to thirty minutes. Would that be alright? Or would you prefer to switch to one of our quick-fixes? They're as delicious as our fresh and-"

"No" your husband interrupts, eyes shinning with something akin to dangerous. "We'll take the soufflé. Just want my wife to eat the very best"

The waiter smiles. "Sure, will be back in a few. More wine?"

Pedro stops the action, removing the bottle's neck from pouring more red liquid in your glass.

"Won't be needed"

They excuse themselves, leaving both of you alone. The restaurant bubbles with chat and instrumental music from a band playing on a corner, but all you hear is his heavy breathing and your heart.

"I wanted more wine" you pout, not even knowing why you said it.

He smiles devilishly. "I'll give you something better than that"

How does it happen, you have no idea, but then Pedro gets up with a brash move, chair making a sound that draws attention. He smirks, his auburn reflecting on the candle glowing in the center with a light that's menacing.

"I'm going to the bathroom" an announcement that feels like a threat that runs through the newfound tension; it could be cut with even a butterknife.

You sit there in silence, too stunned to speak. Your phone chimes in what feels like an hour (it's been a few minutes, probably three). You open the notification, a single text from Pedro.

I'm waiting.

So this was his plan all along, huh? Maybe he's gotten bored of sex on a bed and room like normal couples, because ever since that time you sucked his dick in his trailer, Pedro has shown an appetite for public sex. Well, more like just shown but never done. Guess that changes as of tonight.

I'm coming.

Truth is, after the reveal and fight, you hadn't had sex since that time before the London premiere. Press tour hadn't finished, and the movie was still playing in theathers, but it feels much longer the time you had gone without having his dick rearranging your insides. That changes as of tonight.

You practically leap out of your sit, rushing to the restroom, which is too fancy for your liking. You're unsure how to proceed, and it should be because you realized how stupid and reckless this is, but it's more because you don't know which door Pedro is behind: men or women.

You knock softly on the ladies room first. "I'm here" you speak, voice small.

After a few seconds, a muffled voice from behind replies: "Me too"

You giggle as he pulls you inside, mouth devouring yours in a hot kiss.

"The lock!" you squeal, yet Pedro is busy buring his face between your breasts, pulling the dress down until he's nipping at the skin before licking the spot with his tongue. Your back is pressed against the tiled white wall, cold meeting your now heating skin.

"Mmm, missed this" he mumbles in a drunken state. "Needed my girls so bad"

His words elicit a moan out of you, a way to comunicate that your body too had been aching for this.

"Please, Pedro-" you whimper, trying to get rid of the pretty dress. He doesn't say it, but his movements command for power, big hands dragging your dress down until the black cloth falls to the floor in a sound filled with grace, it feels merciful.

"Black panties? But I thought I was a man with a plan" he groans, calloused digits ghosting over the wet patch in the middle. He smells your arousal off his fingers, and this is so nasty but you're so into it.

"Two can play" is all you answer, eager fingers unbuckling his belt as you unbutton the formal pants and pull them down to his knees, so with his underwear.

"Sure thing" he chuckles darkly. "Just look at you, baby. So loud, but you gotta be quiet. ¿Quieres que alguien entre y te vea así? Fucking slut, begging for my cock" (do you want someone to come in and see you like this?)

He's always been sweet-talking you through sex, and you know he doesn't mean it aside from being lewd words, but you also didn't know you could be aroused by it. Change is welcome, to say the least.

His hard dick is immediately stroking at the apex of your thighs, like he's got no time to loose, kissing you roughly like he hasn't eat and your mouth is his meal.

"Twenty minutes" he grumbles, groaning.

"Or thirty" you add, whining when his cock brushes dangerously close to your dripping folds.

"Can't believe you're this wet already" he chuckles, but it sounds more like a breathy sigh, lost in the inside of your mouth.

"I've been wet since before we left the house and you kissed me"

"And I kissed you" he adds. "No sé ni por qué putas te traje si sólo quería quedarme en casa y comerte" (i don't know why the fuck i took you out if all i wanted was to stay at home and eat you out)

You moan at his dirty mouth, clicking your tongue as a way to say so.

"You dirty old man-" it dies in your throat when he glides inside your folds with ease, a finger slipping in, then two, as he curls them. Your head rolls back, landing against the door with a hollow thud.

"Dirty? But you enjoy this, don't you?" his fingers buried up your hilt. Your eyelids flutter, whimpering drowned by your lips, bitten so deep you think you start to taste blood. "Bad news, mami. You're as dirty as me"

You choke in your words. "No-"

"No what?" Pedro mocks, sliding his digits out of you and shoving them inside his mouth, sucking on them while looking at you. You whine at the display and loss of them, knowing he's tauting you for fun. "Don't tell me you don't want someone to come in here and see you acting like a dirty slut? To see you almost coming here and now with just two of my fingers"

"Fine. What if I want to, huh? Just give me your damn cock already and quit teasing"

Words were lewd, but Pedro smiles with adoration.

"That's my girl"

His length springing free to slap against his now smooth stomach, your mouth drooling.

"Sit"

He glares back, "in the toilet?"

"Well, do you happen to see a couch or bed?" you quip. "That's right: you were the one who chose the bathroom, desperate old man. So needy, aren't you?"

You see your husband turning around, ashamed, and you laugh. "I didn't think it through" and you avoid to add a that's quite obvious snarky type of reply.

"Want me as much as I do?" Pedro doesn't protest anymore, grunting some spanish curses before sitting on the cold surface. "Good. Then comply"

You swing a leg over his lap, not afraid if the thing breaks, dragging your wet folds against his cock. He moans, gripping your thighs hard, biting at your lower lip to hide a growl that seems to erupt from deep within his chest.

"Gonna ride you, baby. Is that okay?" you take the lead, and Pedro gets frustrated that you're taking up a plan that was originally his. Despite such, he just finds himself nodding wordlessly like a fool.

You line up, desperate to have him inside of you. But you go slowly down, taking his size, maybe because you're drunk or because you'd never fucked in a bathroom before. Because, really, how will you even try to explain your PR team a broken bathroom?

You gasp as he bottoms out, struggling to catch your breath with the relentless push. His strong arm cages your waist, as he moans in your ear, bodies going up and down in sync. His slides are smooth across his length, helping you find your pace.

"Fuck" you whimper, legs starting to shake. "I think I-"

"I know" he interrupts you, a quick kiss to your earlobe. "It's okay; I've got you, linda"

He thrusts upwards, toilet creaking as Pedro keeps you in place.

You bury your teeth into his shoulder to muffle your moans, skin slapping against skin loudly, his movements becoming faster. The pressure keeps on adding, until the tightness on your walls is too much, and you're collapsing over his chest, folds spasming as he empties his load inside of you, seed deep in your walls, dripping down your legs.

"Oh, shit" you gasp, "Pedro!"

"Perdón!" he shouts, then covers his mouth. "Mierda, no quise ser tan ruidoso. Ay, carajo. Didn't want to spill all over you-" (sorry! didn't mean to be so loud. oh, fuck)

"There's a sink" you start, "and toilet paper. We'll manage"

"Right" he looks at his watch, "we got about ten minutes"

You smile, cheek resting against the warm skin of his neck. "If the chef took the whole thirty"

"There's only one way to find out" he gasps for air. "Pero, ¿no estás llena? Still up for dessert?" his big hand finds it's way to your tummy, you still contentedly stuffed full of him. It lingers, and when you look into his eyes, he averts his gaze, ashamed of whatever he thought. (but, aren't you full?)

"After this, I need some sugar to make it home" your eyelids drop. "I'm starving"

He presses a loud kiss to your head, "that's my girl"

"Yours" you pull back to rest your forehead against his. "Just yours"

He jolts forward, capturing your mouth in a hot kiss, and you smile into it.

"Good. Now, I'll give my good girl what she deserves" he takes some toilet paper to clean his spilling load out of you, kisses running from your face to neck. Then, gently so, lets you dress in again, exiting the bathroom first to give you some cleaning up space. When you come back to your table, the Soufflé is there.

"Eat" he commands, voice thick and rough. You smirk, giving it a bite as you look into his eyes: hair disheveled, puffy lips and droopy eyes. The bite mark seems to shine, or maybe you need to lay down for a while. "Y no mires atrás, ¿sí? We got ourselves a crowd" (don't look back, yeah?)

That night, you upload a story with a picture of the dessert with a caption that reads: best meal I've ever had. The context is lost until news of your bathroom affairs hit headlines next morning, but you don't notice: your phone happens to be dead, and you're too busy getting railed in what could count as round two to charge it.

pompeiianbollockr: hello just woke up and saw the pictures WTF TMZ??? did they really do #that 😭 bring back public shaming unhing3dprincess: i bet my grandma they fucked in that fancy ass restroom ㅤㅤmostannoyingbillioner: unhing3dprincess QUEEN U ARE BACK 😭 BETTING UR GRANDMA AGAIN? OH IKTR WE WERE LOOSING THE ANCIENT TEXTS poppysplayground: ohhhhh they're so nasty (do u want a third) ㅤㅤann-gell: poppysplayground fr like INVITEN

The interview for Entertainment Weekly's behind the cover for Gladiator II was supposed to just include Paul and Pedro, but taking advantage of the free publicity and buzz your announcement made, they added you. Especially after the news about your restroom affair had hit, courtesy of TMZ; the rumor wasn't taken into account in the beginning, but now added gasoline to the gossip fire. Just what the movie needed: free promo.

You're sat in the middle of the two men, dressed in white as well, to match their attires with a flowy dress that loosely resembles that of Rome's. Then, Paul begins to speak.

"I saw the film for the first time when I was about 13 with my dad" he talks about the original movie.

"I saw it in the movie theater when it came out" you imagine a young Pedro lined up to see Russell Crowe's magnetic performance and let out a small smile. "I saw it twice, because of how emotional the movie was. Obviously it's incredibly visceral, and epic and the kind of movie you rarely get to see made, uh, these days"

You look at him, elbow resting on the arm chair as your body is all turned to his side. Truth is, you love listening to him, especially when he seems so invested, love for the subject rooted in each word.

Pedrito, you'd affectionally call. Ésto es una conversación, no un monólogo. And he'd blush embarrased, only for you to laugh it off, saying you would turn mute if that meant for him to continue speaking. (this is a conversation, not a monologue)

"It had an impact emotionally. I remember that, I guess, sadistically I was drawn to a second time go back again because, weirdly, it was very comforting. I remember it perfectly came out in year 2000. Right?" he asks, and Paul and you agree with a yeah. "I can remember what theater I was in and everything-"

"What theater was it?" Paul interrupts his passionate talking.

Pedro stops, "It, uh-" he rambles, before you all laugh.

"What about you, y/n? Were you even born?" Paul jokes, making you roll your eyes at his antics and deliberate desire to keep nagging you like some older annoying brother.

"I was like, born a year after you, Paul. But I didn't watch the movie until I was fifteen" you feel the gaze of both men fall upon you. "The first Ridley Scott movie I watched was Thelma and Louise, as you all know. Then my dad insisted I should watch it, and finally, at fifteen, when I had given up on my dreams to go on one last epic trip to the Grand Canyon, he played it. My eyes, they were, like, glued to the screen. I couldn't stop thinking about it for a while" you leave a small lingering touch on Pedro's arm, "just like he said: epic and emotional. Also, I had a huge fat crush in Joaquin Phoenix that lasted until I was twenty"

"That was like, seven years ago!" Pedro yells, making Paul snorts. "I feel deceived"

"Qué dramático. We're both married, you big baby!" you laugh, then make a joke before the next conversation starts: "You wouldn't think he plays an epic Roman General, would you?" (how dramatic)

They film some shots of you and the boys before moving to the next talk.

"I was doing a play in London at the time. I'd met with Doug and Lucy who are the producers of the film in LA, and then a zoom was set up and I spoke to Ridley for about 5 minutes about what Gladiator was going to be about. And then we spoke for the next 25 minutes about like, gaic football and dogs, and then I thought we'd do like camera tests and- but no, he just-" he shrugs. "I found out about two weeks later"

Now it's Pedro's turn.

"I knew that the project existed. I knew that Paul was doing it. I think it started with an actual like meeting with Ridley to go and sit down with him and I, whether or not the movie was going to happen for me or not, I was like I'm going to go meet Ridley Scott" he jokes, making you both chuckle. "It wasn't even about getting the job, it was like I'm going to go and sit down maybe five minutes, ten, twenty, as many minutes as I can"

"It was in LA" you speak up, "in his offices"

"Yeah, and thankfully he was willing to talk about all the things I wanted to know about, in terms of other movies, and that's what it really turned into"

"He's a wonderful Storyteller" Mescal compliments. "You could sit down with Ridley for-"

Pedro makes a joke, speaking over him. "Give me another one, give me another one-"

You still kind of hate the guy after his supposed comments on your husband's weight, but won't talk bad about a man who gave you work and your biggest role to the date yet, so you explain how it happened to you.

"I wasn't even planned to appear on the movie. As a matter of fact, my character was squeezed in last minute. Ridley is, just as they said, indeed, a storyteller" you smile. "The truth is, I worked with Cuba, his granddaughter, on a proyect together, a photography one. I was in London at the time, auditioning for a movie, when we met"

"London?" Paul asks.

"Yes" you laugh, ashamed. "I traveled to London with some of my savings, because you know what they say about not doing and then regretting. But I do regret it; I cried for my money to be back!"

"You didn't get the part" Pedro adds, barely containing a snicker.

"I didn't" you sigh, "Cuba saw me sitting alone on a café, eyes red with tears of failure and talked me into capturing such vulnerable moment. She didn't know me but made my day better, and she took some of the most beautiful pictures I've seen of myself. So, in a way, I won. I mean, she's the reason I got the role: my name came up on a phone call with Scott, as I had already made a name for myself, and showed him the pictures. He got in contact with my agent and I got the role after auditioning. Call that friendship nepotism"

"Didn't Pedro tell you about it? I find it funny that he was in the movie and didn't get you in" Paul comments, curiously.

"We were supposed to remain a secret, and the sudden connection when we had barely interacted according to the public, would've been weird. So no, Pedro rubbed his role on my face and then I came home with the new script as he received his. We both won our roles separately, and until we got it both, we realized just what it would mean"

"But now we're here" Pedro speaks fondly, taking your hand. "Rome conquers it all"

You can only hold his and stare back lovingly.

"Oh" the Irish man feigns disgust, "don't get all lovey dovey on me!"

The topic changes again, as Paul speaks.

"We meet early in the film, and this is again kind of Ridley's genius. He shoots it in a way that it feels plausible, but in like- the real action of that there's no way-"

They start talking ovwe each other excitedly about the process of filmaking, Pedro listing all the settings were the epic action takes place.

"We lock eyes" Pedro jests, "we lock eyes"

"All right" Paul plays along. "Three, two, one"

"i'm right here" you say, pushing your body to the front. "You got me third wheeling in my own marriage"

Paul laughs, breaking contact.

"Time for you to get a taste of your own medicine. You've made the rest of this press tour unbearable!" he protests, but his tone is devoid of complain.

"Marcus Acacius represents like-" Mescal then speaks about your husband's character, "he's a Roman general"

"No, he is the general of Rome" you correct, smirking.

"Be careful, princess. Don't let the emperor see you all over his General" the blue-eyed man next to you mocks, and you roll your eyes again.

"Will you ever let me live?"

Paul then talks about his character. "I'm like a lieutenant in the numidian Army. I kind of see Acacius as this, he- he represents everything that I hate about, uh, the Roman Empire"

"Well, the Roman Empire is expanding and expanding" Pedro takes the word, "and invading Numidia just to gain more and more power, and we realize that there really is kind of no ceiling to the lust of that power"

"And that's to do with the Emperors, right? Like, played by Joe and Fred who are wonderful" Paul adds, complimenting both actors in the process. "And let's not forget our Empress too"

You make a face at that, feeling in the need to defend your character.

"Empress Alba is tragedy. I think she embodies well the feelings of helpnessless all women felt during that time. She's an object, another shiny possesion subjected to her husband's amusement, so she drowns in all pleasure available to forget her existence. Lucius hates her because he sees all the filth of Rome in her, like, this whole debauchery and squandering while the people beg for scraps. But it's a pattern seen across history, isn't it?" you pause. "I think it's interesting to compare her to Lucilla, because she's loved by the people, seen as human- despite being noble. It's sad because it's until too late that Lucius realizes she's a victim of the system he hates"

Pedro smiles at your little intervention, loving the way you explain a character you'd play so graciously. One of your favorite movies is Marie Antoinette, by Sofia Coppola, so probably it felt personal to you in some level. God, hadn't you made him watch it at least ten times?

"It unravels through the film that I've kind of miscalculated who I think Acacius is, just as with Alba" Paul comments.

"His character misunderstands my character just like Paul misunderstands us" Pedro quips, making both of you laugh.

"Then it kind of culminates in a big fight that we have in the-"

"Doesn't it always?" you add. "Wouldn't be an epic without it"

"Do you want to talk about it?" Paul dares, jokingly.

"No we're not talking about it" he cuts him off.

"Who's the better fighter'" Paul asks after some silence. Pedro dares him with a go on.

"I would say I'm better the better share. What you think?"

"I would say Lucius is the better fighter"

"Lucius is the better fighter" Pedro repeats slowly, incredulous. "Do you want us to fight? Lucius is a better fighter than the general of Rome, who survived decades and conquered" Paul tries to defend himself but Pedro doesn't let him. "I fight four men before I get you, and I call it off!"

"Yeah, but I think if you hadn't called it off -"

"You don't think I would have do some sort of mature aged learning-"

They end up discussing a bit more until you clear your throat.

"Why don't you ask for a third party to break your tie?" and you point towards yourself, mouthing a cute me with your painted pink lips.

"No!" Paul immediatly opposes, "It would be biased, silence her!"

"Have you seen Acacius' arms?" you gauge Pedro's arms, biceps flexing under the white attire. "It definitely isn't biased, at all"

The conversation carries on after some more shots. In some, you pose seriously, but in between such, you laugh along with them, Pedro even hugging you and Paul from behind in one of both. No kisses yet, but you know fans will be rabid just with the lingering touches and flirty undertones in your interactions.

"We began together in Morocco, and I think seeing that set and the scale of the production so quickly, desensitized me to the scale of the of what- Malta was in the Coliseum, and Ridley moves at such a pace, which I actually think really helped me because you don't have time to kind of sit there and and kind of bask in the wonder of it" Paul talks. "Because you're shooting three or four scenes, build your expectations of how to meet the size of, it or anything 'cuz 'cause it's impossible" Paul looks at Pedro and asks: "and I think Ridley; did I tell you what Ridley said first day of shooting to me? He came out to the tent while they were dressing the set, thousands of extras, everything fire, camels and he comes in, and he's- he's smoking a cigar, and we're all stood around and he's like Are you nervous? and we're all like No and he slaps me on the back and goes Your nerves are no good to me, before we filmed anything. But I think it was like- it's funny, but it's this idea that this is your playground, and you have to kind of step into it and own it. So, I-I don't actually really remember my first walking into the Coliseum, 'cause I feel like I lived in the Coliseum for about three or four weeks"

"You lived in the Coliseum of your mind" Pedro quips, making Paul laugh.

"I do remember, you know, when I first walked into the Coliseum, you know. It- it gave me chills. Like, literally chills. Look! I still get the goosebumps" you point your arm. "Honestly, all of it felt just too real, and I couldn't help but for a moment, think I actually was in Rome- that I belonged to nobility"

Pedro takes your hand and kisses it gently. "That's because you do, princesa"

"One of the things that I have never experienced on a movie before, is that there was so little left to the imagination" Pedro expresses. "Me and the rest of the ensemble are together in the emperor's box, and there's this enormous battle that's taking place, and Ridley composed all of the off camera for us in the emperor's box, with Paul leaping from one ship to another taking two men down what would you call that?"

"A cloth line flying" Paul answers.

"Clothes line?" you try.

"A flying- a flying clothes line" Pedro decides, carrying on "just so that we could know what we were looking at. I couldn't f*****g believe it"

"That's true" you remark. "The result goes so hard- I mean, it looks amazing" you sheepily laugh. "The action, the violence, the epic... it all shines through. It just- it makes sense"

The conversation shifts again.

"The legacy of the first film is so profound, and has such a strong place in so many people's, like, hearts and minds, it's inescapable, but I was looking at it- and I was like" Paul shares. "The screenplay does a lot of that work for you in terms of like, the rubbing the dirt between the hands. the kind of DNA and the genetics that Lucius inherits. I remember reading the script and there's like, a moment in the script where it's Lucius puts on the breastplate and it's written like Lucius now becomes Maximus"

"But Lucius, despite being a son, is also a man" you counter. "He isn't Maximus"

Paul agrees.

"I kind of tried to park that to one side, because ultimately, where Lucius is coming from at the start of the film, he has a very different journey than Maximus does, and I was hoping that whatever DNA- and even just the physical gestures, was going to be one part of- a kind of small part of the performance" he explains. "What I tried to do is figure out exactly who Lucius was and where those differences lay between Lucius and Maximus"

"One of the things that I loved most about my character is that he's introduced in the beginning of the movie, in this very epic battle sequence, that I think in its own way homages the first film" Pedro shares. "But even better, because we follow him back to Rome and discover his direct connection to one of the only characters that is living and with us from the first movie, and I loved being a a kind of thread, an invitation, into what we know from the first movie by being Connie Nielsen's man"

Paul looks at you silently, before poking your side: "Someone is real quiet with that comment"

You narrow your eyes. "I have no idea what you're talking about"

"I am Connie Nielsen's man as Marcus Acacius, but as Pedro Pascal, I'm all y/n's"

Your face goes red at how easily you are to be understood, your husband answering just what you wanted to listen.

"Ha! Look at your face, I was right!" Paul ridiculises you.

But after such an embarrasing moment, he shifts the conversation again.

"There's a moment where Pedro has this, uh- it's so clever from a- from an acting standpoint, but also in the in the script like, you see this brutalizing Force come into Numidia, and there's this section where there's the burning of the bodies, and that it's one of my favorite shots in the film" Paul muses. "It's this closeup on Pedro, when he says Vae Victis to the conquered, and you feel like it's a really difficult thing to communicate in one line, that you see: Oh, this General is, kind of wearing this responsibility with great difficulty and shame"

"I wasn't doing that at all" your husband deadpans. You stiffle a giggle.

"You were very good in it" Paul argues back with a smile.

"That wasn't what I was playing" he insists, serious but Paul asks What were you playing? and you all laugh.

"If I had a favorite scene, I'd say it'd be naval fight" you mention. "The colliseum is filled with water, and it's this- it feels like a thing that has never been done before, and with the people cheering and the buzz, and the announcement and echo of the drumming, it's as if you were there, in the crowd. The tension is palpable, the violence is thrown at your face but the scariest one, is the one that lies underneath. Uh, Lucius character tries to attack the General while we, you know, the royals and especial guests, are sitting at our box, and he gets so close, it serves, I think the bottom climbing the ladder to bite the ankles of the top. Obviously, that before we know who Lucius actually is, but I think it's kind of cool"

The interview is ending, the last of your twelve-minute conversation being filmed now.

"I am really excited for everyone to see Paul" Pedro beams, making the younger one laugh. "I'm sorry but it has to be said. You are sensational in the movie" then adds, "and pretty easy on the eyes"

"Everyone in this movie is easy in the eyes" you quip, looking at your side. Pedro coughs a bit before speaking again, even if a faint blush is coating his cheeks.

"-And he worked so hard, and I got to see that happen like, in front of me, and on the day and just lead with Ridley, this enormous crew and this enormous cast... To get to see that, on the big screen, is really exciting and I think people are going to- they're going to love it"

"That's very kind" you exclaim softly with a smile, then add. "I'm sure of it, especially if you were a fan of the first. Both are very interwined, although each film is its own thing" you comment.

"For a lot of us, the actors, we haven't worked on a film on that scale" you violently shake your head "and I think, there's a little bit of trauma bonding that went on with, kind of having to- kind of feel like, total impostor syndrome within it all. But to see your friends operate at that level on a film of that scale, doing like incredible work. I think, across the board, I haven't seen a film on this scale for a long long time rhat's rooted it has the scale and the performances, and I personally think it's one of Ridley's greatest pieces of work"

senhoritamayblog: y/n was SO REAL holding pedro's arm and talking abt how he'd beat paul bc he's beefy ME WHEN moltisantiii: you know what i think ridley's greatest piece of work is? giving us this trio youlooklike-clarabow: y/n is truly a princess 🥹 i don't know if i want to be y/n to be with pedro or pedro to be with y/n ㅤㅤann-gell: youlooklike-clarabow well, she's the people's princess after all!

You haven't even left the room when Pedro is all over you, kissing your neck on that sweet spot of yours that elates a little breathy whine. Doesn't he know you well?

"What are you doing?" you manage to squeak out as his needy big hands grope your body, flesh soft under the flowy white dress. He grunts when he catches your panties, embarrasingly wet already at just a few sloppy kisses and eager touches.

"What do you think?" he whispers against your ear as you both try to walk away from where voices can be heard, and then Pedro is guiding you to a room, closing the door behind him. If he was able to walk to the room while kissing you, he must've seen it in a passing. Had your husband plan this all along? Greedy needy old man.

"What I think, baby, is you're forgetting something" you push him off, giggling. He makes a little pout, making it hard to keep your ground. "Now that everyone knows we're married and we suddenly both go misteriously missing at the same time, they'll just put two and two together. I mean, does it really take a smart person to figure it out?"

Pedro doesn't back down, still caging your frame against the locked door.

"So?" his annoyed and tense voice only makes you laugh more. That turned on was he? Pedro seems annoyed at your fit of laughter, his pants tight.

"What do you mean so? We almost got caught by Paul last time!" you chuckle amused. "And, are you seriously going to pretend TMZ didn't air our bussiness just about last week?"

"Well, maybe you should've thought about it before" he goes back at the task of attacking your mouth, words spewing in between hungry kisses. You mouth a little taunting innocent looking Before what? and then Pedro is talking while his gaze is glued to yours, tightening his arms around you, and the answer is just about that. "You should've thought about it before getting all flirty with me, grabbing my arm in front of the camera like the naughty girl you are. So fucking needy you can't hide it for a few hours, can't even go through an interview without touching me, looking at me, being possesive at a fictional marriage even" your face burns hot with embarrasment at that. Oh, was he being nasty on purpose? Why bring that up? "Haven't I taught you manners?"

It's hard to force yourself to hold his gaze while standing still. Taunting. Defiant.

"José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal" you chastise, "do you want people to know we are raw dogging in the dressing room? That's the manners you so badly talk about"

His face goes red, his demostrations stopping for a bit as he studies your now serious face.

"Wait, do you want to raw dog in the dressing room?" he gasps at the boldness in your words, which, to be fair, is kind of exaggerated, as you both have said worst stuff before. "That's not what I had in mind"

"That's not?" you arch an eyebrow. "Oh, no. Absolutely not. You can't just kiss my neck greedily and touch my body eagerly like a goddamn starved horny idiot, and then expect me to not act up on it, you old man"

There's silence before he speaks up again. "Y/n, you talked about manners"

You take a deep breath in, making sure the door is actually locked.

"Well, fuck them manners"

You capture his lips on a hungry kiss, same kind of force you had made fun of him, just minutes ago. He's pushing his tongue inside of you, as his hands move up to your shoulders and back down to your waist. You rub yourself against him, looking for some kind of friction, and his big calloused hands pulls your waist closer in an attempt to do the same.

"Manners maketh man" he's reciting, and such stupid proverb and line from one of his old works shouldn't turn you this much. Pedro lifts up the dress until your body is devoid of the cotton, murmuring about how unfair it was for you to taunt him with translucent cloth, tender flesh hiding under the white. So hard to focus on interviews, mami, when you're close to me or something like that, as you're too lost in the fire. No bra? Fuck, baby. Do you want to kill me?

"Sofa" you command, eyes darting to the furniture so you can show him where. "Now"

You take off your panties in a go, revealing the slick that's just a few seconds from running down your legs.

"I see, my legs won't be the only thing drooling" you mock his agape mouth. He takes off the blazer with shaking hands, sitting as you get on top of him. Pedro kisses his way down your neck, sucking on the skin. How will you get out of here without comfirming suspicions? Surely, there must be something inside here that could be of help.

"Well, I've wanted to do this for a while" he mumbles against the now red patches of before honey-ed skin. Again? you think.

"Have me or fuck again in public?" you ask out loud, and even if you're laughing, there's a layer of fondness in your voice. "I'm starting to wonder if you have an exhibition kink, papi"

He breathes a little no before biting right above your collarbones, his tongue then releaving the pain with a wet slick move over the flesh as you let out a whine.

"Busy schedule, mami. A husband's gotta find a way to make time for his pretty wife, even if it means fucking her in the goddamn dressing room" he says into your ear. Pedro had done more interviews than you, and between that and filming for his other projects, he's right. "So what if they find out? Need them to know who you belong to. I'm just a devoted husband, will you punish me for that?"

You caress his face, pristine hair now disheveled, the gel succumbing to the heat and sweat trapped in the room.

"Look at you, naughty boy. El burro hablando de orejas" you laugh, "but of course I won't. Need you too so bad" (look who's talking)

His finger wanders down to your pussy, big hand roaming around the area. His middle and ring finger run over it, the golden band starting to shine with your arousal. Fuck, that just made you wetter.

"Shit, baby. You're so eager... wasn't lying when you talked before"

"Needed you since you kissed me today, when you woke up" your teeth grit at his lingering digits. "Your dick rubbed against my bare thigh, fucking hard"

Truth is, you're always horny; being married to Pedro Pascal does that to you. But mornings? Waking up to that handsome face and girthy dick? You really be testing yourself sometimes.

"Jesus, mami" he whistles. "So fucking dirty, thinking about me all the interview because my morning wood grazed your skin, you dirty naughty girl"

Pedro finally slides his fingers inside of you, making you squirm under his gaze as your back archs. "So fucking beautiful, can't believe you're all mine" he moans and you squeeze his shoulders, nails digging and bruising his skin under the shirt that sticks to his skin, body heating up like a furnace.

"Please, Pedro" you plead, lip biting your under to supress a whimper. "Please curl your fingers, need to have you- feel you inside. Fuck-"

Your words cut off as he moves his fingers with learned ease, his thumb rubbing your clit as a treat.

"Mmm" you murmur with pleasure, back arched again, your tits too dangerously close to his face. Without much thought, he licks your nipple and then devours the whole breast with his mouth. All while looking at you, this absolute horndog. Your nails dig in deeper as you pronounce his name in a shaky exhale. Wanting more. Begging for more.

"Mmm? That's right" his palm on your waist squeezes lightly, more pressure on his grip. "Can't speak 'cause I'm making you feel so good, huh?"

You don't answer, instead throwing your head back, nails digging deep to the point he winces, making a face by the pain. You mouth an apology, but then he licks your nipple again, and teeth move to your nibble your earlobe―you're not sorry anymore.

"S-stop" you choke out, body shivering.

"What? Can't take what you asked for? No muerdas más de lo que puedes masticar, niña mala. Bad girl" (don't bite off more than you can chew, bad girl)

His lewd words elicit another moan out of you.

"I-I can. In fact, I want- no, need more. I don't want to cum on your fingers" you whisper in his ear, hot breath probably why he shivers. "Pull down your pants, pretty boy, because I want to cum on your dick"

"Fuck, mami. What a dirty mouth" he moans.

Eager hands try to lower his pants as your fiddle with the same feel, the borrowed wardrobe struggling to get off in the current position. His underwear goes next, and you squirm as he aligns his tip with your dripping entrance.

You moan and he grunts, as his dick enters your tight folds, sounds clashing onto each other as so do your bodies, fitting perfectly. His hands travel from your waist to ass, his head against the back of the sofa, your hands that were before on his shoulders now on his chest.

"Such a pretty view you're giving me, wifey" he tries to laugh, but the sound comes out strained along each powerful stride of his cock that buries inside of you, each bouncing harder, his hands pathethically running over your ass, back, hips, and legs, as his eyes devour the way your tits jiggle with each thrust, tongue burning with desire to suck on the skin again. "So beautiful, and all mine. Only mine. Mía"

His words drip with devotion and wordship; all the love in the world. Pedro calls you beautiful, goddess, and a string of spanish words crossed with adoration. Mami. Linda. Princesa. Diosa. Hermosa. It has your orgasm looming over, head spinning and pussy stretched, walls tightening.

"I'm close" you whisper, riding him with soft-paced movements as his turn sloppy.

You see stars, walls almost kicking his dick out as you coat it in your slick, arousal dripping down until it's coated his balls and smeared the white attire. Fuck. Now Pedro's moving his waist, hunting for his own orgasm.

"Me too" he breathes out, "stay with me"

His hands travel sloppily to your waist, lazily holding you still with his calloused digits.

"Quick, baby" you breath out, "I'm sensitive"

"I'm almost there. Just hold on a little longer" then a whine before shakily pleading. "Please, please, just wait for me"

You move your hips slowly, aroused by his needy pleads, robbing a moan out of him. "Cute" you praise, making his cheeks redden with sweat and blush.

He is cute: hair messed up, mouth red and puffy, and brown puppy eyes.

"I love you so much" Pedro let's out, and it sounds like a confession, despite being married for so long.

"I know, baby, I know" you reach for his face, removing some sweat beads from his forehead, and he leans on the touch, closing his eyes as another gutural growl erupts from his chest. "I love you too"

You keep on riding until you feel his dick twitch inside of your walls.

"We need to stop doing this" you pant out.

"Too late for that, bonita. At least no one found out this time" Pedro laughs. "But you like the talk, don't you? Gonna give 'em something to talk about" he pants, "will fill you up so good you won't be able to walk without my seed spilling from you" sweat beads from your face fall onto his. He obscenely licks the salty drops. "Te voy a dar tantos hijos, que no cabrán en la casa. That way they will know you're mine" (will give you so many kids, they won't fit in the house)

You moan loufly, folds now coated on thick ropes of hot cum, as his movements come to a stop, slowing down until all that can be heard is your uneven breaths trying to recover.

And on cue, there's a knock at the door. Shit. You both remain silent, as if it would stop, but the knocking turns persistent.

"Pedro, I know you're in there"

It's Paul freaking Mescal, again. You might just have to invite him next time if he keeps showing up like that.

"Should I go?" Pedro whispers, and you shrug, stating it would be weirder to pretend he wasn't if Paul knew he was. "How do I look?"

You eye him up and down, eye glistening with dissaproval, red cheeks giving away your thoughts as if the furrowed eyebrows and ashamed gaze didn't already.

"We are fucked"

"No" he giggles, "we just fucked"

"That's not funny!" you roll your eyes, playfully smacking his chest. "Please, look into the mirror and try to fix yourself a bit. If not, we're doomed to be remembered as a horny couple. Oh, we were going so well! Fans will make fun of us and the press will call us horndogs" you lament, exaggerating your voice.

"Oh, shush. We wanted to be able to be in public. This is what it feels like"

You blush. "Maybe we can reduce the public aspect a bit..."

Pedro snorts before doing a quick fix to his appearance, walking to the door where Mescal patiently waits behind. Oh, of course; that little fucker. After the TMZ news dropped, he connected the dots and know that whatever happened in that trailer when Pedro told him to fuck off, wasn't holy at all. Now, he's probably laughing or scheming.

"Paul!" Pedro opens the door. "W-what's up?"

The younger man does a quick scan of his friend, barely able to hide a laugh.

"Looking radiant, my friend" he answers with a shit-eating grin. "They need to do some re-shootings. Have you happen to seen y/n? She just keeps dissappearing when you- oh, when you do!" he mocks. "Well, if you ever happen to find y/n, tell her you both need to get a good fix unless y'all want to show up on TMZ again. I'm pretty sure you can find something in this dressing room to cover those marks, yeah?"

He finally breaks down laughing in front of Pedro's shocked face.

"Ah, you guys are the absolute worst" he folds in a fit of laughter, "so fucking horny you end up fucking in bathrooms and dressing rooms!"

Your voice can be heard from inside as you growl, face red with fury and shame:

"Hijo de puta" (son of a bitch!), "don't make me bring Daisy Edgar-Jones into this!"

l-u-n-a-m: they're just milking their relationship atp for promo but i'm not complaining need more pictures of the photoshoot NOW vnightx: istg if they don't stop flirting in front of my single ass face. i need a gun at0michips: have i gone insane or does pedro have love bites ㅤㅤmybritishstyle: MI HIJO DOES NOT HAVE LOVE BITES. HE JUST FELL DOWN THE STAIRS

*i'm never gonna call twitter as X. it's still twitter, and will always be. fuck that ugly bigot filthy billionaire hoe called elon-trump-cocksucker-musk.

[lovethebluebox]

Hahaha no. Trump is not going to censor the documents he put in that stupid Bible he was selling and the epitome of 'Communism Bad evil totalitarian dictatorship' works of George Orwell. Not when Amazon released a special audiobook version of it last year and the movie adaptations of these books were funded by the CIA during the Red Scare.

If you guys truly care about censorship, I need you guys to go to the Marxist Internet Archive and Anarchist Archives and save what you can as PDFs to your hard drives. You don't have to agree with them, or even like them, but if you believe censorship is bad, that also applies to political beliefs you disagree with and may even morally object to. Librarian rule, we are not archiving according to our own personal feelings. It's important to have as many written records as we can get our hands on, even if it's just to use them as primary sources to properly understand their arguments and debunk them. Yes, that includes works by Mao and Stalin. You're allowed to read Mein Kampf in high school for this exact reason. At the very least we should be able to do the same with communist leaders too.

The thing about Republicans is that they're predictable. We've been hearing them rant about feminism and wokeness and CRT and Marxism and the alphabet people for years. And we even have a blueprint of things they want to ban, anything that's happening in Florida should be viewed as what Republicans want to do in the rest of the country. Look up the books that are banned from Florida schools, look up the resources in the 1619 project. While you're at it, go to the CIA's website and download whatever declassified documents you can, you never know what they may reclassify again.

You want to know what kind of documents are most likely to be lost?

Local history.

Please I'm begging you guys, get in touch with your town's cultural centers, historical societies, pride centers and university librarians. Ask about Union Strikes and Queer history and the Indigenous people who lived there before you. You'll learn a lot of cool local history and they'll be more than glad to help. You do not have to do this archival work alone.

i have a folder in my computer called "just in case" where i have important documents saved, like the constitution (since trump REMOVED IT from whitehouse.gov) and books that might get banned

im obviously going to add more, if anyone has any reccomendations please let me know. just wanted to share because i think its a good idea going into these next 4+ years.

EDIT i've also added a clip of elon doing the nazi salute because its taken down a lot of places and likely will be removed everywhere. as well as screenshots of what happened when you searched "presidents in order" (it did not show biden) and "president from 2020-2024" (it showed trump) but have since been fixed

[tarotbyjam24]

What are you manifesting in 2025 ?

Pick a piles \masterlist

Likes , reblogs and feedbacks are very much appreciated 💗

Disclaimer: this is general reading . It may or may not resonate . If reading doesn't resonate let it fly and choose another pile or simply there were no messages for you through this reading 😊 Take the reading lightly as nothing's set in stone until you believe so 🕊️

Thankyou for stopping by let's dive in ☄️ Choose the pile you feel most drawn to 🧸

Pile 1. Pile 2.

Pile 3. Pile 4.

Pile 1

Hi pile 1 let's check your accomplishments for this year :) I see you're getting so many good opportunities your way this year . There may be also possibility of you having your alone and silent time where no one disturbs you may be you get disturbed by so many people often . Another thing's I'm getting you getting worried about things that aren't for you that'll keep you awake in nights resulting in anxiety, poor mental health and skin issues so I'll say don't worry too much go with the flow take outmost care of yourself. Possibly you'll let your fears out infront of others things you've been holding for a while you're finally letting them go . You've been strong for so long but this one things will break you leading to let your all inner frustrations out and making you feel lighter finally . You'll finally stand for yourself pile 1 it's your era this time . We're finally getting to the real pile 1 without mask in the limelight and how powerful n strong they're. I also feel this year you'll catch people's attention more than usual which may be good for some people if they're looking for some more connections with world . Also pile 1 you're manifesting having some celebrations seems like it's been long since you went to some good parties and marriages. I also see some love connections for y'all who are interested in romantic relationships. This may also result in marriages. Some you're also manifesting apartments for yourself which I see happening this year so congratulations babe! I also see you not feeling like a bone in chicken and putting yourself out more . You may have felt like a outcast for sometime but not anymore. This year I see you being more vulnerable and having happy tears too ! You may also workout on the things that are already around and not looking too far or making long term goal . Sometimes it's good to have short term goals and short term goals leading to long term goals in the end . Happy New year ✨💗 BLESS YOU ALL 🧸

Pile 2

Hi pile 2 let's see what you're manifesting in 2025 . First of all I'm getting you're manifesting to get more opportunities offered for you but you all need to be receptive for it . You may also be manifesting some more connections in life like expanding your friend circle or work related colleagues . Some of you may also be manifesting to cross\breaking the boundaries or rules that aren't really suitable to follow . Some of you are also manifesting to get promotion at your jobs or just getting more earning options in general . I'm also hearing this line from halsey's song 'without me ' Tell me how's it feel sittin' up there?

Feeling so high but too far away to hold me

You know I'm the one who put you up there

Name in the sky

Does it ever get lonely?

Well I wanna tell you it's not always lonely up there and it feels amazing to reach on the place where noone has reached yet:) I'm also getting you're manifesting new people in your love life if you're single. You could also be getting some confessions and roses . I'm so happy for you all <3 and if you're in relationship than the hardships that you were facing will soon be solved and harmony will be there . I also feel that you are putting yourself out more and letting yourself enjoy the world because you before didn't do that .I also feel you are manifesting to have a pet animal in your life . Next thing you are manifesting is to have a balance between the extremes and lows . It could be you having your meals at time and not binging or starving yourself, having balance between the jobs and school. You're also manifesting to travel probably going abroad too . That's all pile 2 I hope you enjoyed the reading . Happy New year ✨💗BLESS YOU ALL 🧸

Pile 3

Hi pile 3 let's see what you're manifesting in 2025 ,I see you're keep your focus on you maybe this year you're getting more into sprituality and practicing sprituality more . You're manifesting to build your inner strength more becoming more stronger to face the outer world . You may also be manifesting geting outta relationships which aren't working because of communication gaps . After you becoming more stronger I see you're manifesting to putting yourself out more ,enjoying the world ,getting into more social interactions,sharing your light with the people around you . You're manifesting to take charge of your life . You're manifesting to remove those people from life who tried to control you and tried to make you walk on the paths they pave for you but now you're paving your path ,being responsible for yourself more . And this is gonna give a new insight about life and how intresting,lively it is to live more on your own morals and values . Although life may challenge you more to test your waters but don't drown pile 3 you're still having ground under your feet and know that you can feel the land it's not that deep . Don't feel tied down and swim\walk outta it . If possible ask for help from people around you . It's not bad to take some guidance from young and old people :) also don't get stuck on your point of view be open to other people's point of view they may help you to see new horizons and open your eyes to new heights. Take care of your health and rest more to rejuvenate yourself . You may also get so many responsibilities but don't take so many responsibilities at once to fulfill as it may lead to you having sour behaviour with others .Happy New year ✨💗BLESS YOU ALL 🧸

Pile 4

Hi pile 4 ,let's see what you're manifesting in 2025 . I see you're manifesting to get reading for giving exams or landing a job and you're succeeding in it . I also feel you're manifesting to return to your home after long time and you're looking forward to it excitingly . I'm also seeing you're manifesting to get healed from your past traumas and caring more about your health be it physical or mental. You're taking certain steps that are required to keep you healthy. Stay strong pile 4 ! I'm also seeing you're recovering from the people who have hurt you by their words or physically. I feel things that were disturbing you are getting away from,letting you focus on your goals .I also see you're manifesting to get in flow for everything things arranging themselves for you accordingly. I also see you're putting your all focus cutting of everything like everything to lock in . Your reading is more focused on you being super duper focused on the things that you're working towards . You're putting everything off for your this one important goal . I'm so happy with the focus you're putting in . I know you're gonna succeed pile 4 . You got this ! Duh !! Lastly I wanna say don't forget to eat and have fun with your close friends and family . Please share your burdens with them,don't carry it all alone.Happy New year ✨💗BLESS YOU ALL 🧸

I hope you liked the reading . Thank you so much for letting me read for you . Wishing you best ahead . 🎀Bless you and have a nice day🌸🐰

Loads of love , jam\gem

Exchanges : open , collabs for paps : open

[dustykneed]

heathers vampire au! 🧛🏼🦇

kind of want to make some sort of comic for it because man do i have backstory and plot planned (which is why they're kids here! like it's also because i wanted to draw them as kids loll but there's yuri later i swear! and also veronica 🤭)

[gub-bins]

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PAY ANY MONEY TO SEE SPACE BABY.

YOU HAVE TO PAY MONEY IF YOU WANT TO SEE IT EARLY, ALL AT ONCE, WITH THE CREATOR TALKBACK. THIS IS A STARKID BUSINESS MODEL THAT HAS EXISTED SINCE 2014, IT IS NOT "BEHIND A SECOND PAYWALL", IT IS A WAY TO GIVE A LITTLE EXTRA MONEY TO THE ARTISTS WHO WORKED ON THE SHOW KNOWING FULL WELL THAT IT IS AN EXPERIMENTAL PILOT AND COULD FLOP.

anyways. hi this is my rant blog so here's the rant

tldr: starkid needs a social media manager, they don't make the youtube residuals or ticket sales profit you think they do, chicago and la are great places to do theatre due to the audiences they draw but they are SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE, capitalism is rotting this country from the inside out and starkid knows this better than anyone

first and foremost:

curt mega is not a legal representative of starkid and he is entirely within his rights to defend misconceptions about the art he makes. he is so respectful to the fandom on here, even apologizing to the confessions blog after accidentally following them because he wants fans to have a safe space where they don't feel like they're being monitored by someone from the company. there is nothing wrong with him trying to assuage people's fears about the show. debunk whatever you want my dude (including if i say anything wrong in this post!)

i am not, under any circumstances, a blind defender of starkid. they've made choices that i do not enjoy in the 15 years that i've been watching them. like i say in this post, i think fans need more notice than a week if there is going to be a livestream we have* to pay money for. i would like a musical that is composed by someone other than jeff or clark. i wish the black friday deluxe download had the digital ticket in it. i wish jangle ball could've come to the actual southeast rather than claiming to be coming to the east coast then hanging out in new york (but as you'll see, that would've cost MONEYYYY). you will notice that these are nitpicky personal grievances. that's the point. im not gonna shell out completely for a group of white guys in LA, no matter how autistic i am about the musicals they make.

as someone who also donated to starkid returns and has also been disappointed to see how long it's taken for this stuff to get off the ground (I absolutely loved cinderella's castle but i would not have minded waiting for it if it meant we got space baby sooner or sissy/ttip. i want to see/read Sissy SO FUCKING BAD)

but think about it. starkid returns made $386,000. a weeklong rental of the El Portal Theatre costs $12,000. so for two weeks of tech thats $24,000. the two weekends of performances were $6,000-7,500 each. it's $7500 per shoot day for a film production. already, that's almost $50,000. Now think about renting film equipment, making costumes, sets, props, paying the cast, crew, theatre technicians, house management, REHEARSAL SPACE RENTAL, we don't know if any of the actors had to be housed in LA while they were working on the show, not to mention getting merch made (FUCKING EXPENSIVE). And that's just on Nerdy Prudes. They also had an entire fucking national tour to fund. i ain't doin the math on every theatre they rented for that tho.

while the 10iversary kickstarter made about $547,000, considerably more than SK Returns, that money went into funding the travel and stay of the fuck ton of people who came to LA for the show, renting the Ace Hotel Theatre, funding Black Friday, and of course the unfathomably expensive Wiggly plushes, which were very kindly restocked what, three or four times? because the FANS kept begging for them. and then after all of that was said and done, the company took a huge hit with the pandemic. Some of the SK returns money probably went into making Workin' Boys too! That's what happens when a global pandemic shuts down all your plans for two years!

i was also surprised to hear that space baby wasn't going straight to youtube. I had it in my mind that it was going to be something similar to Movies, Musicals, and Me. I see now that I was incorrect. It's experimental. It involves SO MANY ACTORS. and not to mention starkid has been doing the digital ticket prior to youtube release thing for YEARS. my main thing is that i would be totally totally fine with having to buy another ticket for space baby (which is only $10 by the way, less than all of their other digital tickets. not to mention it includes the talkback afterwards) if they had only clarified it just a little bit earlier. Nightmare Time 2 was announced on October 8th, 2021 and the first ticketed livestream wasn't until the 23rd. that's two weeks, a whole week longer than we got for space baby. however, im willing to understand that there probably wasn't as much time to announce things/people have been a little bit scrambled lately due to, i dunno, having to evacuate due to the raging wildfire.

unfortunately, people aren't always going to understand that making art is fucking expensive in this day and age. i hate that starkid has to keep reiterating that but it might be smoother if they had a media trained person running the socials who had a prewritten explanation of "making stuff costs money" for the people who don't get it. and then when starkid DOES do stuff for cheap they get taken advantage of. i'm still not over those fuckwads who bought meredith's beautiful handmade coasters at VHSCC and upsold them for three times as much money. the people who bootlegged the black friday digital ticket and posted it online just cause they didn't want to wait the measly 3 months it took for the show to get posted online.

being angry when the person who made the show is looking at the tumblr tag for the show because he wants to see what people are saying about the show he made comes thru to clarify some misconceptions when the tumblr tag is full of people not understanding the starkid business model that's been around since 2014 is not the move. not the move!!!

[laurentidal]

Cook and Clean

Sequel to Think Nothing of It

"Don't you think it's time you start pulling your weight around here?"

Marissa looked up at me harshly. Fair play. It's not as if I didn't know she'd be offended by the comment. In all honesty, it's why I said it. Having the power to impose your will on others indiscriminately can turn you into something of an egomaniac. At least I'm self-aware.

The look she gave me was also slightly undercut by the fact that she on her hands and knees, naked, with my seed leaking from two of her holes. Another quirk of my skill set was that I was comfortable in the knowledge that no matter what selfish and degrading shit I said to her, she wouldn't move from that spot.

She could look back at me with all the disgust and malice she could muster, but I'd looked into her eyes, given her a command to get into position, and she'd said "Yes, sir." So in position she would stay until I was done with her.

I stood up. "You disagree?"

"I do plenty around here, dick," she said, taking my movement for a sign that I was done for now. "I do both of you assholes, don't I?"

She gestured to Anthony, who sat in the corner, eyes glazed. His own cock was in his hand and his cum splattered up his chest to his chin.

"I believe I'm the one doing your asshole, Marissa." She blushed slightly. "Go take care of your boyfriend."

She rolled her eyes, but I grabbed her hard by the chin, forcing her eyes to meet mine. "And make sure he enjoys it."

The sass and defiance fell from her face for a heartbeat before returning. "Yes, sir."

She went to Anthony woke him from the twilight I'd put him in. He loved to watch us, and I loved to see him helpless. It was a good arrangement for now. She slowly, sensually licked all his mess off of him. She even offered to share with him, which he eagerly accepted. He thanked her, as he had been conditioned to, and returned to his room to put his clothes back on.

Marissa stayed naked, as was the house rule.

"I'm not kidding. It's time you start doing the cooking and the cleaning." I groped her oversized chest. "You've got more weight to pull than us, Milky."

Ripples of pleasure moved through her at the name.

"So what do you want me to clean other than my boyfriend's jizz?"

"Don't worry. I'll work out a schedule for you to follow. Maybe I'll even get you a little maid outfit you can put on."

"I'm sure you pervs would love that."

"So will you," I said meeting her eye again. "You'll be wet at all times wearing your slutty maid uniform."

"Yes, sir."

God she was the perfect combination of dumb and defiant. Anyone else would have learned by now never to set their gaze anywhere near my face. But poor overly confident Marissa just kept looking.

"Now go make dinner. And if it tastes good, I might even let you sleep in your boyfriend's room tonight."

Thanks for reading! If you are a fan of my work, consider buying me a coffee. Any contribution is insanely appreciated. 💖

[tarotmundomonde]

Next 6 months will you have 18+ with someone?

will you have 18+ with your preferred gender during the next 6 months, yes or no and a short explanation :) ++ this is for both singles and those, who are dating but haven't done the 18+ yet with their current partner.

pick a number 1-5 or

(ps. this reading is for practice and for fun)

1.💜 The answer is yes. It does look like the topic is left untouched at first. But then you or them, it looks like perhaps they will initiate the conversation. And eventually that's how you'll end up doing it. There is a sense of being prepared but also of convincing. They might send you literally nudes to show you they are the full package. But you are definitely the one having the final say in this. The cards do say you'll be first dreaming about doing it with each other and it looks like you will communicate it with each other, telling about your 18+ dreams of each other. You will be building trust with each other first. You might literally agree on a date, when you'll do it for the first time together. Romanticism, but also it looks like you'll really go for it. Unhibited, wild sxx. Also, the cards talk about solar plexus chakra activation and bonding.

2.🧡 The answer is no. What is shown here is that you are very smart and you don't melt. You have your opinions and in the end, even the greatest temptations cannot tempt you off your path. It looks like you will be using your discernment. I'll be honest with you, this pile is probably for the minority, because the cards are clear about you not being into quick fixes and quick flings. You just don't do them, you don't engage. Like the cards are showing, it looks like majority of the people look good on the surface, but they are all bitten apples. Those people just want the sxx and nothing else. You know, people who just wants the experience, high body counts and just go straight to sxx. For them that's the romance. Or friends with benefits. It looks like that's what you can easily find and plenty, it's always within reach. That's what's around you. Whereas you want to celebrate love, you want the excitement and the fun and the romance, the chemistry, the butterflies, the intimacy, the moments. But looking at the cards, not all hope is lost for the next 6 months. There is a chance that you will meet someone. According to the cards, someone, who is a very healthy golden apple, will find you. You are waiting for each other, to find each other and once you find each other, you will be patient with each other. The cards talk about waiting, chemistry, true love, full intimacy and creative intimacy and also heart chakra activation and bonding. So take your time and have fun.

3.🩶 The answer is yes. This is most likely going to happen with your partner, because it looks like there is deep trust between you two and that you feel relaxed and comfortable doing that with them. However, it doesn't look like it is necessarily planned. Rather you know it's bound to happen and someday you just do it. It could be even on an anniversary, for example 100 days anniversary. You also got throat chakra and solar plexus chakra activation and bonding. Also, the cards are talking about jealousy and being possessive and about memories. So maybe one of you or you both want to be so great that you can make the other forget about their exes. This could have to do with the body count as well. Because there is a focus on past partners and about wanting to protect your feelings from all the secrets and discoveries. Trying to have strong self-confidence. It's like wishing to be better and doing better than the exes. Hoping to be seen as the one.

4.💚 The answer is yes. Well, it looks like a lot of it. I dare say might be the most active pile. Strong attraction, intense, passionate. For some of you, this might be an ex. Or you'll break up but can't move on from each other and then have lots of make up sxx. Because this pile has it all: love sxx, angry sxx, make up sxx, passionate sxx. You feel like you two are such a match in that sense, feeling like it's a bliss, when you two do it. And apparently you two love the eye-contact, the loving gaze you give each other, it seems to be something special for you two. Like your own thing.

5.❤️ The answer is no. For this pile it turned very last minute into a no. It looks like you'll have some insecurities, fears and doubts. There is someone, who wants to do it with you, but it looks like you are not sure, if you can trust them. Again, this is not a personal reading, so the reasons will vary, for example maybe you'll meet them in five months and you are not ready to have sxx with them within a month. You might also worry, if you can be your true self, can you trust them. Maybe you are worried of your body image and fear that they would judge your body and tell it to their friends. Maybe you know something that makes you suspect they might go tell their friends about your body and what the sxx was like. It does look like you would like to keep your privacy and there is a doubt that your person won't respect that. Because the cards talk about gossip. So you might question, if that person is just whispering you sweet nothings trying to lure you to do it with them and then go tell their friends about it.

[heliosunny]

For the request can I please have yandere Topaz x spy reader?

Yandere!Topaz x Spy!Reader

The IPC headquarters was an untouchable fortress, at least, that’s what they wanted everyone to believe. You had slipped through tighter security before, evaded sharper eyes, and walked away from more perilous operations unscathed. This was just another job. Another mission. Another untouchable figure to dismantle.

Topaz, Senior Manager of Strategic Investments, was the target. Her role in the IPC made her a dangerous opponent, but also an invaluable asset to your employer. You only needed to extract classified financial records, just enough to tip the scales. A clean job, no blood, no alarms, just data.

Everything had gone smoothly.

You bypassed security systems, wove through automated patrols, and reached the data archives without a hitch. The files loaded onto your drive in seconds. A flawless escape was within reach, that is, until you turned around.

She was waiting. Topaz stood casually in front of the exit, arms crossed, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Her eyes gleamed with something unsettling, mostly amusement, curiosity, control.

"Wow" she mused, "I have to admit, you’re pretty good. Most people don’t make it this far without setting off at least a dozen alarms."

You had been careful. Every precaution taken. Every measure accounted for.

As if reading your mind, Topaz lifted her wrist, revealing a sleek IPC communicator. "The moment you entered the building, I had my security feed rerouted. Instead of alerting my subordinates, I let you walk right in. I wanted to see how far you'd get before realizing..." She tilted her head, a smirk forming.

"You were never in control."

Heat burned at the back of your neck. "Then why wait? Why let me get this far if you knew?"

She chuckled. "Because watching you work was fun. And because, sweetheart, I think we can help each other."

Your breath steadied as your mind raced. If she wasn’t alerting security, she wanted something. This wasn’t an immediate death sentence, it was a game. And if she wanted to play, you would find a way to win.

"What kind of help?" you asked, voice carefully neutral.

Topaz’s smile widened as she stepped closer, her heels clicking softly against the floor. "A deal, of course. You’re talented, resourceful, and bold. The kind of person I like keeping around. So here’s my offer: work for me."

"Not as an IPC agent" she continued, her tone sweet, coaxing, "but as my personal informant. I have... competitors who need watching, tasks that require someone with your skill set." She brushed a hand through her hair, her voice dropping to a near whisper. "In exchange, I'll make sure no one knows you were ever here. No bounty on your head, no retaliation from the IPC, no mysterious 'disappearances' in the night."

It sounded too good. There had to be a catch.

"...And if I refuse?"

Topaz sighed, feigning disappointment. "Then I let my security system do its job, and, well..." She gestured lazily. "You know how the IPC deals with trespassers. Your real employer won't come save you. You'll just be another loose end tied up."

You needed time. A chance to find a weakness, to flip the game back in your favor.

You exhaled, slowly. "Fine. I'll hear the terms."

Topaz beamed. "Good choice! You won’t regret it."

For a moment, it almost seemed like you wouldn’t. The first few tasks were simple, easy, and manageable, gathering intel, dropping misinformation, a few falsified reports. But then, slowly, the conditions began to change.

At first, it was extra tasks. Then, it was little details that didn’t quite match what you originally agreed to. And by the time you realized just how deep you were, the walls had already closed in. You weren’t an idiot. You knew from the start that Topaz's deal was too good to be true.

Numby, her ever-present companion, had taken an odd interest in you. The chubby trotter followed you around constantly, snuffling at your pockets like it expected you to start producing money.

One time, you caught it trying to chew through your coat.

“Numby, no.”

The little trotter blinked up at you innocently.

“I told you” Topaz had chuckled, leaning lazily against her desk, “Numby’s got a good eye for investments. And you?” She smirked. “You're a very valuable asset.”

You didn’t like how she said that.

You liked it even less when you started noticing the subtle shifts in her behavior.

At first, it was small things. The way your “assignments” started requiring more personal involvement. The way she casually dropped your name into IPC circles, slipping you into places you had no business being. The way Numby had started curling up in your lap without invitation, as if marking you as hers.

Your usual informants suddenly wanted nothing to do with you. Your safe houses mysteriously stopped being “safe.” Every attempt to create an exit route was subtly, effortlessly blocked.

The final straw came when you tried to leave the planet.

You had booked an anonymous ticket on a cargo ship, something low-profile, something outside of IPC jurisdiction. But when you arrived at the dock, a familiar voice rang out.

“Ohhh, I knew you’d try something like this.”

You whipped around.

Topaz stood a few feet away, arms crossed, eyes gleaming with amusement. Numby floated beside her, its little snout twitching as if sniffing out your escape attempt like a financial miscalculation.

Your stomach twisted. "How?"

She clicked her tongue, shaking her head as if disappointed. “Come on, sweetheart, do you really think I’d let you walk out of a contract so easily?”

"This wasn’t in the deal."

Topaz’s lips curled. “Mmm... No, but I am IPC, and you did agree to work for me indefinitely. Did you really not read the fine print?”

A holo-screen flickered to life beside her, displaying an altered version of your agreement. There—right at the bottom, in the tiniest, most infuriatingly vague text—you saw it:

"Duration: Until Manager Topaz deems the contract fulfilled."

"You rigged it."

Topaz grinned. "I refined it."

You took a step back. "This is insane. I never agreed to—"

"Sure you did! You just thought you could outsmart me." Her expression softened, almost fond. "But I like that about you. You keep things interesting."

Numby let out a happy squeak and nudged your leg.

You stared at them both. "You can't keep me here."

Topaz let out a slow, thoughtful hum. Then she smiled, bright and sweet.

"Numby?"

The little trotter chirped, then suddenly lunged for your ticket, chomping it out of your hand.

"NUMBY—!"

Too late. The stub was gone, devoured in one decisive bite. The tiny beast swallowed, then let out a smug snuffle, as if personally securing your financial—and physical ruin.

You gawked. "Did you just—”

Topaz stifled a laugh behind her hand. “Ahhh, Numby, good work! Always watching out for bad investments.”

Numby chirped in agreement.

You clenched your jaw, fury simmering beneath your skin. "I am not an investment."

Topaz hummed, stepping forward until she was just inches away. “Oh, but you are. A valuable one. And as long as you keep trying to leave…”

Her fingers brushed along your wrist, feather-light, yet iron in intent.

“…I’ll just have to keep reminding you where you belong.”

Numby let out a delighted snuffle.

You had never hated a tiny financial advisor more in your life.

Posing as Topaz’s subordinate had been a desperate move. You needed to buy time to find a weakness, an escape route, anything that could get you out of her grip.

But now, standing beside her in an IPC-investigated fraud case, you were beginning to regret it.

The boardroom was silent. A collection of high-ranking IPC officials sat around the table, their holo-screens filled with financial reports, transaction histories, and legal documents. A high-profile businessman had been accused of embezzlement, and it was Topaz’s job to untangle the mess.

Technically, it wasn’t your job. But since Topaz had smugly introduced you as her "trusted assistant", you had no choice but to play along.

Numby sat on the table beside you, snuffling at the paperwork.

You shot Topaz a side glance. "You’re enjoying this way too much."

She smiled sweetly. "Of course I am. You look cute when you’re pretending to follow orders."

The meeting dragged on, the accused businessman sweating under the weight of the IPC’s scrutiny. Every time he tried to defend himself, Topaz countered with ironclad numbers. He was cornered. Almost.

But something felt off. A discrepancy in the financial records. A missing link.

You glanced at the reports again, scanning quickly. Then, you saw it-an insignificant-looking transaction, hidden within a cluster of minor expenses. But the pattern…

It was deliberate. A shell account. A decoy. The real funds were funneled elsewhere.

Topaz was still talking, smoothly dismantling the businessman’s weak excuses. You leaned in slightly, your voice low.

"He's hiding it through secondary shell accounts. Check the linked subsidiaries in column D—there’s a laundering trail."

Topaz stilled.

Then, a slow, delighted smile spread across her lips.

"Ahhh, I knew keeping you was a good idea."

Without hesitation, she pulled up the subsidiary records. One glance was all she needed.

"Well, well," she mused, cutting through the businessman’s last defense like a blade. “It looks like someone’s been playing very dirty.”

The room tensed. A few keystrokes later, and the final proof was displayed for all to see.

The businessman turned pale.

The IPC officials murmured in approval.

Numby let out a triumphant chirp.

And Topaz?

She turned to you and whispered, “I think I like you even more now.”

[satureja13]

After the others left the bridge, Ji Ho started to hover around conspicuously inconspicuous near the book. Of course Vlad does not want him to read books about other guys making out. Naked, hot looking men who also happen to look like Kiyoshi and Jeb... Ji Ho had been worshipping Kiyoshi since the beginning and the glances Ji Ho and Jeb were sharing every now an then are stabbing Vlad right in his heart. Every - damn - time. But Jack and Sai never get tired telling Vlad that he's a jealous bastard - and that he should be more approachable to Ji Ho's attempts to love him... Plus Ji Ho admitted he wanted to read those books. He apparently thinks he's not experienced enough for Vlad. Which was a joke. Except for a few kisses and touches he'd shared with his fist love, Wesley, he didn't really have any experience at all before Ji Ho and Him woohooed for the first time on Winter Solstice. It is rather the other way around. Ji Ho has more experience than him. Because, when Vlad's soul was in hell, Ji Ho had loved Luci. The remnants of Vlad and their Bond. And Vlad does not have any memories of these acts.

It's killing Vlad, but how can he deny Ji Ho anything? So he gritted through his teeth: "Read it."

Ji Ho: "Are you ok with this? We could read it together and you can tell Jack if it's suitable for him." Argh, now he has to read it too, because if he refused, he'd be a bad friend for Jack...

Vlad sat down too and Ji Ho started to read. (Editor's Note: Since this book is one of the spicy books, I posted it on another tumblr with the mature label. If you want to read it, it's -> here Tell me plz if you have any troubles reading it since I don't do this often ^^') Ji Ho: "It starts at a Jedi Temple, you will like this." As a writer, Vlad was interested before, but now he was hooked. Strangely though, that this Temple looked exactly like the Temple he visited with Jack and Kiyoshi years ago... And the Jedi Masters look like Dtui and Master Kojin. Kiyoshi's mentor and their deity. Their worlds are more connected than they thought...

When Ji Ho came to read the scenes Jett and Conny were shirtless, Vlad shyly looked away. But Ji Ho continued reading out loud and described the scenes. Not helping... But Ji Ho obviously like it - a lot. So Vlad endured it.

Ji Ho: "Oh - oh my. They are really doing it! Huh, this is really hot. And a bit weird. Seeing Jeb and Kiyoshi together like this. I don't know how it will effect the others. Jack and Sai above all. What do you think? If it were me - I mean, Jino - and one of the others? How would you feel?" Right, if there are books about Jeb and Kiyoshi - Jett and Conny - there would also be books about Jino and - someone else. Someone else than him. Vlad really didn't think that through... Damn Jack! He tricked them into reading these books, all right!

Vlad was still deep in thoughts when Ji Ho ended the book. Ji Ho: "An open end? Oh no... I wonder if they get back together again?"

Ji Ho put the book aside and looked into the grey vastness of subspace. Was he crying?

Vlad heard himself say: "We will find the next book, it will all be well in the end, you'll see."

Ji Ho: "Can you hold me?" Vlad: "Sure." Ji Ho: "You will never leave me, won't you?" Vlad: "I won't." Ji Ho pressed himself against Vlad: "Can we... later... ?" Vlad felt Ji Ho was a bit 'excited' from the book and he knows exactly what Ji Ho is eager for when they're alone in their quarters, after their shift. Even without words. Their treacherous Bond made it very clear to him: "Eh - sure." ö.Ö'

'Lookin' for a lover who needs another Don't want another night on my own Wanna share my love with a warm blooded lover Wanna bring a wild man back home

Gotta have some hot love, baby, this evenin' I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight I want some hot stuff, baby, this evenin' Got to have some lovin' Got to have love tonight'

Donna Summer - Hot Stuff

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter 'Goats in Space': starts ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Piglets in Space' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-29

[mayasaurusss]

yoyoyoyo what if this time it’s reader who is a werewolf? and reader is with jackie, jackie doesn’t know until eventually she finds out because they panick and tell her. she is a little apprehensive but then she warms up to it. eventually she gets used to all of it, reader’s body heat, how they can retract their teeth, the way their eye colour changes. and in the bedroom? she wants to hear them growl in her hair and go absolutely primal as she gets strapped down just bc she’s a lovely pillow princess bunny. if it can be sweet and smutty that’d be awesomeee also keep up the good work ur writing is amazing ;)

-🫳

Hello new anon! Thank you for your request and encouragment! It's what keeps my blog going!

Contents: genderneutral reader, adult timeline Jackie, strap can be read as dick,smut.

The blood stuck to your skin like dried concrete; the smell of iron, which was so delicious before, now stanks and sticks to your bathroom walls, making the whole place smell like a butcher shop. You are lucky that today she's not home, having gone to meet up with her old soccer team from highschool. You are sure she would leave you instantly if she saw you like this, and would probably call the cops on you. You wouldn't blame her.

Keeping that secret of yours from your lovely girlfriend has proved to be a harder task than you had thought.

You scrub away at your skin with hot water and soap, resigning to tweeze out the bigger chunks with your fingers. When all is done, you find scratches on your skin, probably left from the struggle. Without a doubt, Jackie will ask you about them, and you will have a hard time explaining their source.

"A cat attacked me" or "I fell off the stairs" doesn't work anymore on her. And, if it happens one more time, she might start to think you are somehow cheating on her. With a sigh, you apply some concealer where the scars are, and hope for the best.

Jackie would take some time to get adjusted to all of...this. Now that your secret is out, you can let loose all those traits that you had suppressed in front of Jackie; and while she finds some of them cute, she's not a fan of others. She's especially not a fan of your shedding, having to clean for at least an hour after your transformation, with you looking and whining at her like a guilty puppy.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, nothing seems out of the ordinary. Good, you think. You clean the bathroom off of the countless of hair left from your shedding. The amount is probably enough to make a pelt out off. After a strenuous three hours, you are finally done, not a trace of hair left on the floor.

Now that that's taken care of, you can take a breath of relief.

But you can't help but wonder, what will you do when the full moon comes?

You, as reckless as ever, agreed to an indoor date with Jackie, not realizing that the moon would be full that night. You could try to make an excuse, but on the other hand, you could not say 'no' to her; she had a far too tight hold on your heart for you to deny her. You'll just have to tell her.

On the couch, with her head resting on your shoulder, Jackie doesn't seem to pick up on your weird vibe. You gulp down your fears, breathing through your nose before whispering to her "Jackie... I..." but you can feel the transformation getting a hold of you as soon as you speak. As your canines become too big, your nails too long and your body too large, you break out, escaping from the window and leaving Jackie behind.

Some time passess before you see her again. You had remained confined to the parks and green areas of Wisayok, moving only during the darkest hours, when no one was around; stress so heavy that you remained in your wolf form for several days.

The only reason Jackie found you, was because rumors had it that there was something roaming in town, and she, as usual, just picked herself up and acted with her guts rather than her brain. It took her a while to convince you to go back home with her: you were far too scared to know what she really thought of you. But as everyone around her always thought, her charisma would take her far, and you were back in her arms again.

But she can get through some things. Like, for example, your body heat. You had always avoided sleeping with Jackie too much, fleeing the aftermath of your lovemaking as soon as you possibly could. She never understood why, but as the heat from your body literally starts to suffocate her, she can take a guess. She has to admit that the first times she saw your canines grow when you were having a fight, or your eyes changing colour while on going the transformation freaked her out.

What she can get used to, is the power dynamic that plays in the bedroom. "Come on... please?" she has been nagging you on and on about this for half an hour by now; and having her arms draped over your shoulders while she tries to egg you on while you're studying, really doesn't help your case. "Okay... if I do it, will you promise to shut up later?" she jumps up on your lap, those eyes of her boring into yours with a heat that could melt you.

"Fuck!", she screams as you dick her down, her legs keeping your hips close to her. Despite the thickness of your wolf skin, you can still feel Jackie's nails leaving moon shaped dents on you. She trashes in your grasp, moving her hips in tandem with yours.

She pleads you to go faster, to fuck her properly; but you are too scared to hurt her, so you resign to going at a slow pace.

You didn’t know how far Jackie was willing to go to get what she wanted.

"What, can't do it?" she breathlessly asks. You can feel a building sense of annoyance in your stomach. You shouldn't listen to her. You know how she gets-.

"I... I should have known" there it is. You try to not let her words affect your impulses. You were already having a hard time controlling yourself and she's just egging you on.

The dirty glimmer in her eyes is the only clue you get, before she reaches for your ear and whispers.

"You know who would take care of me? Shauna".

Fuck it.

In a matter of seconds, you have left Jackie's pussy and rolled her over, pushing her upper body down on the mattress, slamming into her with every thrust.

She brought this to herself.

Did she want to see you at your worst? Wanted to see you at your most primal state, wanted you to treat her like the slut she was?

Well, she could fucking have it.

And Jackie? Oh she's absolutely loving this. She wants nothing more than to be taken by you, to feel your cock move inside of her, to hear you groan in her hair every time you speared her down.

Every thrust builds her up toward her own orgasm, tingling her body with pleasure. She couldn't help it, and yet she had only lasted a couple of minutes. She can feel incredibly close, but she needs a little incentive, and in this position, she can't reach her clit.

"S-shauna would fuck me harder" and that does it. You take her by her hips and drive into her so hard and good, that Jackie cums right away, eyes rolling into the back of her head as she screams her peak away. You don't stop until your legs get tired, and by the looks of it, once they do, Jackie had cummed several times, your cock wet with her release.

"Hey Jax..." Jackie is so out of it that she doesn't even answer you, just humms into the pillow, too fucked out to make a coherent sentence. "Are you okay?" you think you might have fucked her a little too good. The skin of her shoulder is red, her pussy clenching repeatedly as you speak to her.

"Hmmm".

You spend several minutes cleaning her up with a towel, giving her water and massaging her sore spots

When you are done, you get in bed with her, kissing her goodnight.

And Jackie thinks that maybe, she likes gentle you better.

But she's sooo gonna get dicked down as soon as possible.

[changingplumbob]

TW: SBL Gen 2 Aspiration spoilers below the cut

Hey so I've got a question about Byron's aspiration. If you have avoided finding out what it is, well you'll find out in maybe a fortnight. I'll ask it below BUT it will NOT give away any spoilers for the generation goals. Only read and answer the poll if you do not mind aspiration spoilers. Those who know the gen goals please do not give anything away in the comments of this post 💚

So without further ado, or telling you who Byron will end up with in the long run, he has the Serial Romantic aspiration. There is one particular part of this I'm having thoughts about

Have Had 8 Boyfriends or Girlfriends

Now for me I know he'll have to get romantic enough with them to ask them to be his partner in the game. If he isn't successful at that they won't count towards the goal. Here is my question...

Do I need to portray the 8 sims as being his official girlfriends in the story OR is it enough that behind the screen they are partner official? For example could he have sim x who I write in as going on dates or having regular woohoo with him, but not ask them to be his official partner in the writing? What do you think? Is it cheating or not cheating the goals to simply not carry it across to the writing? Comments and thoughts welcome.

Also this doesn't mean Melina won't be endgame, it also doesn't mean she is... that's a gen goals spoiler so please don't mention the gen goals in comments to let some readers stay spoiler free

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Veilguard Ecology Part 1

I have decided to channel the ways I am insane by cataloguing the plants, animals, rocks, geography, and what have you we see in Dragon Age, starting with Veilguard. I am starting this with the acknowledgement that all of these things largely exist just as "assets" and "textures" placed around the landscape to the devs rather than thought out inclusions (unlike some of the specific diversity of ecoregions & their contents we see in DAI), so I'm making it my problem instead.

who is this for? me. it is not going to be interesting to most other people beyond a vague "i didn't know that was something you could look at" or a "i like to read about other peoples weird hobbies" thing for everyone else probably. anyway

PROLOGUE PART 1: Minrathous

jumping into the game and what do we have here. two beloved companions we've known for years? no. ignore them. time for grass.

I'm going to use the fieldwork unknown ID naming conventions for plants that aren't referred to by species/common name in these games, though I will speculate as to what they're based on via imported textures. So this will be Grass1. You can see both yellow and green tissue, implying it's either a perennial or an annual that grows multiple rounds in a single season. My bet is perennial. The stems and leaves are both upright and rigid, the leaves angling sharply upward from the stems. This game is nowhere near detailed enough to see ligules, auricles, or trichomes (AND SHOULDNT. to be clear. i can't even imagine how hot my computer would be running) which are like my #1 way to ID grass family in absense of seed head (which these also don't appear to have) so not gonna bother guessing taxonomy. Although visually the shape reminds me of a Muhlenbergia perhaps. note if you google any of the plants i mention you'll only see highly watered versions which are Not how most grasses look in their native wild habitat, where they are much more resource limited, so keep that in mind.

And now on the other side of this little platform we have Grass2. Taller than Grass1, appears to be entirely senesced (gone dormant / all brown above ground / roots probably still alive--if aboveground tissue is yellow rather than grey you generally assume the plant isn't dead just not photosynthetically active). we have what MIGHT be now bare seedheads but no seeds left on them. the dry leaves tend to be more curly than rigid although the overall habit is still fairly upright and tall. This is too tall to be a Boutaloua or Hilaria jamseii but not spiky enough to be Hilaria rigida (although that one might be another contender for Grass1 now that i think about it), and the leaves are flat rather than rolled like an Achnatherum. probably its based on something outside my wheelhouse of dryland or great basin grasses so if i narrow it down better I'll come back to it later.

In this section we also see a pile of dead weeds all grouped together, in a few spots. however the lighting here is shit and i remember seeing these somewhere brighter later so I'm skipping them for now.

Here we have Shrub1. Look at that! finally something green in Minrathous (YES i know there is 1 single green herbacious something or other in the grass/weeds pile in the last spot but again it's in a group asset so we're saving it for somewhere with better lighting. also it just looked so sad there on its own). anyway this is an upright shrub with redish stems and some sort of dark berry in clusters. I'm guessing this is based on some ornamental which aren't my wheelhouse, but the leaves are opposite branching, leaf margins smooth and entire (though some are browning at the tips which is a nice visual detail), and the fruits form in small groups but not large enough cluters that would indicate an umbel type flower. I have NO proof to back this up but when i look at it i feel like it's vibe is evergreen rather than deciduous. maybe because the light on the leaves makes them seem waxy... however this is not a plant you are meant to look at up close as it's entirely flat textures layered together so i'm concluding analysis there until i pull up an ornamental shrubs list and figure out which one it's been scanned off.

ENOUGH WITH THE PLANTS, LETS TALK ROCKS: Solas' Hideout Cave

Ok there are some more senesced and dead grass/weed textures here too that aren't exact copies of above. but the lighting is even more abysmal so i'll skip for now and come back if i don't run into them elsewhere in the game i guess. also i'll be honest i can see an aspen leaf in the pile and there's NOT aspen trees here so it will just annoy me to put them in this section rather than Arlathan which is up next. let's look at the cliff instead.

Here we have some sort of chunky weathered yet clearly very stratified rock. you can see all those narrow horizontal lines that indicate this is a sedimentary rock, so at one time Minrathous was a depositional environment, which i'm not getting into right now but am making a note for my now 10-year-old tectonic plates map of Thedas. We're right on the sea without much beach and the rocks look more chunky than crumbly, as well as this darker grey color, so i'm leaning sandstone/siltstone rather than something softer like limestone. maybe some shale but Minrathous has been built so large I can't imagine the region is predominately shale or it'd be way more structurally unsound after all these centuries.

Now when I first played Veilguard this was one of the first places i stopped and went "ohhh, nice" while looking around because I do think they did a fantastic job with the ground surface textures. we have a sort of sandy patch on top of a rock base which makes sense for an area people are walking in/out from but the edges are clearer, which if they're being slapped by waves now and then would indeed drive the sediment either in or out. We have different grain sizes for the sand and gravel as well as different colors. The ground-rock is kind of way lighter in color than the walls-rocks but i am attributing this to the needs of seeing your character when running around vs stratigraphy change. anyway this is just chatter the funny part is actually when you go inside the cave

aaaand now we're leaving realistic critique behind and are entirely within the realm of game design. But i do want to point it out because i think this is one of those things that, unless you spend a lot of time thinking about geology/geography, you wouldn't ever consider. I've even bothered to adjust the lighting in these screenshots (why are games all so DARK) so you can see what I'm talking about.

Here in the hideout we first see on the floor some cobblestone/brick on the floor, partly obscured by sediment, and leading right up to and implied underneath the rest of the stone wall. In the second screenshot you can see the remains of elven brickwork in the wall and archways leading further in, both in various stages of crumbling. whats wrong with this? Well, the rock is growing on top of them. Which is not how rock works--rock can distort, warp, crush, etc buildings housed inside it but it does not grow over things the way plants do. Yes, even if ancient Elvhen empire was 10,000 years old, sedimentary rock cliffs need millions of years to form, not thousands, and if they WERE forming new rock it would happen in even layers from the bottom up, not growing over the wall like a parasite (I would allow for stalactite growth too but that's not what we are seeing in this cave).

What has happened here is: environment designer made an uneven wall, then took a brick wall asset, and sank it halfway into that wall so the rock shows through. This is WAY faster than designing a brick wall that is falling apart and showing rock from behind the places it's crumbled away. I don't blame them for doing this, it would be very silly to put that much extra work in for something only me and probably 4 other people will ever notice. but! perhaps now you will notice it too the next time you play a cave or underground section of a game and go "heehoo the fantasy Rock That Can Grow Over Things" the way I do.

That's all for this section--up next will be the Arlathan Forest part of the prologue, eventually.

[hostofthelambs]

"Oh, yes. I am like my father. He plays things dirty, so I'll follow his footsteps! Why, did you think I'll get triggered with your words and crash out? Ms. Koskinen, this is not the Wolfgang Akire that you have known—nor what anyone has known! Why did you think I'm still standing in this killing game, leading these people to hit a bullseye and make them end up hurting each other? Killing each other?

If you cannot tolerate my actions, it's not my problem at all! Who are you anyways to this game? Nobody. You are nothing in this universe that I'm in, that's playing out—hell, most likely you'll just end up as a viewer, who can only pray and whine that your favorite character doesn't die; and they do. Seriously, get a grip of yourself, I don't even know you from the start. You only approached me.

Also... How am I spineless if I created a killing game? If I may, I'm pretty sure I'm against the law. I'm already going against the the Equal Protection Clause—which is found in Section 1, Article III of the 1987 Constitution, to wit: Section 1. 'No person shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law, nor shall any person be denied the equal protection of the laws.'

Quite obvious why I said that, correct? I am depriving my participants to see the world outside—to live, overall. I did not make the killing game because I have the right to do so, it's because I want to do so. Maybe read my mindset again, Cara? Or do you lack the brain to understand that my business is not yours?

Right. It's because you're dead. Now go on, shoo."

"Ah, is this... What happens when two universes meets? How intriguing."

- @hostofthelambs

“In the kindest, most polite way possible-

Get out. You go against anything and everything I stand for.

Lady Luck will stop granting you the chance to weasel out of your crimes, one day.

And then you will stand before justice.”

[illithilit]

I have a metric fuckton of quiz results in my drafts and I want them out. So this is my solution to not wanting to spam the dash

Tagged by: @dracourge ; @mindfoster ; @loomsred

Mourndax

Love feels like.... Fear

the tap of a nervous foot against the floor. those butterflies in the pit of your stomach. a dry throat. heavy limbs. you want them so badly that it hurts, but fear keeps you frozen to the floor; what ifs and hypotheticals run rampant through your head. it's a chain around your neck, love, and it's your choice to let it choke you or break it.

How do you view love? Violent

harsh words and cold glares. painful in the way that your heart burns but can never seem to seek for something better. it is the way you would walk through glass to see a smile, or claw at your own arms just to satisfy another, give and never take for the guilt that comes with wanting is suffocating. emotionally draining and a forever ache that you can't escape.

What kind of love are you? Love as a flaw.

Cowering, your love hides in the dark. In shadows and under cover of night, your love runs from corner to corner, afraid to linger, afraid to be caught. Afraid, afraid, afraid of everything. When you fall in love, it is with alarm bells ringing. Your love is a mistake, a flaw in the code, a purchase you don’t remember making and desperately want to return. You didn’t ask for this. You didn’t want this. It’s a problem–– your problem ––and you would do anything to pass it off, burn it away, scoop it out of you with bare hands, or carved out with hooked knives before it can destroy you. Get it out, just get it out now. You don’t care who you hurt in the process, only that you can’t afford to be hurt first. Being loved by you is to be loved by a figment of the imagination. It is to be loved in halves, or not at all.

What tragic character from Ancient Greek literature are you? Cassandra.

you are cassandra from the trojan women by euripides and agamemnon by aeschylus. people have tried to silence you one too many times, but you are resilient. your own dignity and agency have always come first, but at a great cost. you know yourself and your inner strength, but that won't ever stop you from feeling completely alone in the world. sometimes simply enduring the pain won't be enough, no matter how hard you want it to be. above all, you must never lose your unwavering hope in mankind, even as the world forsakes you. it is what keeps you human.

Let me assign you an affection language. A knife called grief.

You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything.You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know you’d do that for them.

What colour does your love feel like? Deep staining crimson.

Ripped out confessions, warm velvety whispers and a heart like an open wound. Your love flows out like dripping blood, beautiful, flawed and twisted. It's gut wrenching, the type of painfully dramatic feeling that makes you clutch your chest, picturing dramatic monologues about love and loving and big screen over the top scenes of sobbing into your pillow until you fall asleep. It rips out of you, clawing it's way up your throat more so than tumbling out. Sticky words that just need to be let out, feelings so big they don't fit inside you. Your love isn't easy, it's a true bloody mess, dripping and staining everything it touches in a desperate attempt to be seen, to be felt, to be loved back. And you, you love so hard, so deeply, so much for someone who carries all that pain. Atlas holding up the world, how are you? Is your love still flowing? Is your heart still open? Still pumping and bleeding and dripping with blood and tears? Still painting your beautiful pictures and writing your love letters in deeply personal red ink? Because I see them, I read them, I love them and you, you, you, you. Clench your chest, scream your love, cry it out. Spill your words of loving, keep your heart beating, keep your love coming and paint the entire world red with it. Make it in your image, keep going, it's okay. Maybe one day the whole world can be red and loved and beautiful just like you.

What kind of hot are you? Rockstar hot.

you're wanted. by crowds of people. a heart-throb, who people hang posters of in their room and tell their friends is "so dreamy." you may not even be a celebrity, you could just be the star of your school. but what you and rockstars have in common is that your entire routine is very well-rehearsed, and you know exactly the right words, the right looks, to draw people's attention. you're a performance, you're an act, a hyperbolized version of a human being that others can get lost in. it's so easy for people to crush on you because they don't realize they don't know anything about you. you're an archetype, a character for others to project onto, and damn if it isn't a fun role to play.

What flavor is your soul? Salt.

ah little kraken, bold are you. restless sailor, dauntless fighter, lower your sword, let me see your shield. ah, of course, they are but the same object. oh wave-tossed ruffian, lend me some of your mettle would you? you have been struck by the sharpest of spears yet you still stand here proudly. but off your guard, elsewhere of the battlefield, you will find your spirit can parch others. your words are but weapons crafted from your soul. little lion, sheathe your claws, or the ones you love the most will suffer. you do not have to be strong all the time love, there's nothing wrong with being soft. vulnerability is not weakness, and if it were, what's wrong with that? strength is not always your greatest tool, your heart is good. put down excalibur, and use your words. you'll find they will carry you much farther. not everything in life is a battle.

How do you need to be touched? Cautiously.

your teeth are bared, as they have been, your jaw aching for so long as growls slip free. you always have to defend yourself. you lash out in fear. you need someone who does not shrink back... a hand falling slowly to your shoulder, however briefly, in a reminder that you do not have to lunge. there is no danger here, now.

What colour are you coded as? Pink coded.

pink, the color of femininity, believing in yourself, and embracing the side of you that you used to reject. you aren't someone who likes to hide, but you do all the time. you don't like yourself nearly as much as you may present, one way or another. you think of yourself as a hollow castaway of someone's little matryoshka doll, or worse, something broken and thrown away. you want to believe that there's more to life, to you, than this broken frame of something you have long forgotten the name of... but what are you supposed to do, after all this time?

Grazilaxx

Love feels like.... Everything

nothing matters but this. not you. not them. this moment, this love that you've built, that is what matters. it is all that there is. you will do anything to keep it this way; no matter what line you have to cross, who you have to step over. the ends justify the means, after all; and for you, this is everything. they are everything.

How do you view love? Isolating.

intense, silent, overwhelming. you have so much to give but it is too much to share. nobody every reciprocates the way you do. makes you feel alien, unwanted. so you keep it and and watch others, hoping one day that could be you too.

What kind of love are you? Love as a religion.

Devotion, that is the name of your love. Your love is an act of worship. Your love is like witnessing the birth of Venus, like seeing the sun come alive, or the stars fall. When you love, it is because you have found God in a lover. You have found the meaning of life itself in the heart of the one you adore. They are everything to you; they are your Maker, and you are their lamb, their flock, their first and holiest worshipper. When you fall in love, it is as a baptism. You are born anew, made a believer in the divinity of the one you love most. Being loved by you is an ascension; it is holy and golden. It is all-consuming, and all-faithful, loyal as the dog. You will never, ever bite back.

What tragic character from Ancient Greek literature are you? Medea.

you are medea from from the argonautica by apollonius and medea by euripides. you are ambitious, ruthless, and unforgiving in getting what you want, and unapologetic in your self-preservation. the truth is, you have let your romantic ideals get the better of you before, and time and time again you have had to relearn how to build up those walls and thorns that guard it. the only person who can protect you is yourself, and you have learned that the hard way. sometimes stoking that fire of hate and anger in your heart hurts more than whatever you're fighting against.

Let me assign you an affection language. A story that ends in blood.

The world has always been unkind, and when you have turned to yourself for comfort you have come face to face with an empty pit which seems to be laughing. You don’t care if it kills you but once you find someone whom you love and who loves you back, you will make sure nothing happens to them. They are yours. You will make a tear in this world and create a new place for you and your love if it comes to that. Because it has always been about love, and it is how it always ends.

What colour does your love feel like? Warm burnt orange.

Riding off into the sunset, the hope of a happy ending, the bitter after taste that still in it's own way smells kinda great. Your love is all bitter hopefulness, all about a broken heart that refuses to quit, all about the unshakable knowledge that a burning fire has a great comforting warm and a soft glowing light, all about the way when the sun comes down there's a beautiful starry night. It's stubbornness, it's the refusal to give up, the clutching of broken shards despite the searing pain and being adamant that dammit you can still make a beautiful stained glass window out of it. Yours is a screaming heart, a pleading love, a bitter and almost belligerent hopefulness that things will still work out even if you have to roll up your sleeves and make them. And god, aren't you tired? Isn't your heart heavy? Is all your hard work worth it? Don't you just want to curl up and let it be? Let the fire turn to ashes and the sky turn dark and let love die down and watch people leave? But you don't, do you? You're the bravest out of all of us, so you pick up the pieces and you keep going, you keep believing and you keep your heart full of hope because some day. Some day you know you'll get it. You keep riding off into the sunset and you keep filling my heart with hope as you go because god, how do I wish you finally get it too.

What kind of hot are you? Math tutor hot.

you're really not here for romance, at all. but whenever you actually interact with people, they're smitten with you. you might be usually overlooked, but for some reason whenever you're helping a peer who likely wasn't responsible enough to study like you told them to before the session, they're always paying rapt attention. you roll your eyes and lecture them whenever they seem distracted, staring at you or the floor instead of the textbook. but it's the moments where you raise an eyebrow, half impressed, and give them a quiet "good work" that makes you such a successful tutor. your praise is hard to come by, and people are certainly going to work to hear it again.

What flavor is your soul? Lavendar.

oh moon child, restless sleeper, tell me what it's like to dream? you float along the margins of reality, picking up the pieces of fallen memories to sculpt into your own realm. you are searching, but your tongue is quiet, quiet, quiet. open your mouth and sing my dear, silence only does you good for so long. and here you planted roots in the darkness, where not even the moon can reach your leaves. there is such a thing as being too practical, for you sail your ship on perpetually calm waters, and never have you spotted land. your mind has wings, uncage them! allow yourself to dream, you are not too far gone. there is no such thing! trust in yourself dear.

How do you need to be touched? Gently.

you need to be held as though you're going to break. you need someone to trace your scars like cracks in a wall, crumbling. their touch is almost painful; you've been without it for too long, without someone to hold you. but, you cannot bring yourself to pull away.

What colour are you coded as? Blue coded.

blue, a study in wisdom, belief, and knowing when enough is enough. you know yourself best, but you know the way the world works even more. you've been wandering in this world a little too long, and maybe that's the problem. you're a wanderer, a vagabond, an oracle, and a prophet all the same. who are you when the curtain call drops the last encore on you? do you dance behind the scenes for a job well done or are you already planning your next show? take a breather, for a moment. enjoy what you've done, enjoy what you have, enjoy the world that you've been wandering for so long. this world is so much better when you realize that some of it is worth living for.

Blurg

How do you view love? Soft.

love that is welcoming, one that encompasses you in its warmth. the feeling of a warm mug after a cold day. familiar huffs of laughter respond in the air as you lean on each other for balance. the feeling of falling on a soft bed of clouds on a nice sunny day. of waves lapping at sand on a beach

What kind of love are you? Love as a threshold.

Your love does not ask for much. Your love does not take. Your love is free, and unquestioned, and here for wherever needs it. When you fall in love, it is as gentle as a breath in the night. It is quiet, and it is effortless. It is tender. If your love was a house, it would readily welcome all who come through. If your love was a hearth, it would warm the hands of whoever stopped by, whether for a day, a month, a year, or forever. When you fall for someone, it is without strings, without conditions, without need. You love for the sake of loving, for the sake of caring for those who need it. You love with a giver’s heart and a giver’s hands and are made so much stronger for it. Being loved by you is to always feel at home. Your love may not always be well-received by those unprepared to linger, but it is unforgettable all the same.

What tragic character from Ancient Greek literature are you? Patroclus.

you are patroclus, from the iliad by homer, doomed by fate to be stuck in a love story that has no place on the battlefield. although you always have the best intentions, you have to realize you cannot save everyone. your unwavering loyalty means you often lose yourself in the process of putting others first. take a deep breath, remember who you are, and that you are deserving of the same love you try to put out. you are kind, you are strong, and you give and you give but it is never enough to protect those you love. in the end, it's not even enough to protect yourself.

What colour does your love feel like? Bright sunny yellow.

Sweet tasting popsicles, summer dresses and shielding your eyes from the sun. Your love is the excitement of something brewing, something growing. It's the almost childish bubbling giggles of something new, but with the potential to stay. It's wide smiles, blinding sunny light and warm bodies that gravitate to one another. It's the the softness, the willingness, the slight holding of breaths in a crucial "what if" moment. It's the impatience too. The bouncing on tiptoes to see further than your eyes can reach, the holding out for a future that never seems to come even though you're ready, you're so so so ready. It's the constant feeling of warm sand beneath your feet, holding out for the crashing waves. And still you wait, dry and impatient and with burnt soles of feet. Your love is sour candy, enjoying it as your nose scrunches up from the aftertaste of it. It's hands that grab and take hold, that reach and ask them to stay and hope and beg and wait. It's bubbling excitement sure, but it's also demanding, focused, driven. It's love like a plan, with a path and route and a clear destination. And you bonce on your tiptoes, and burning, waiting for the soothing water, the crashing waves, you hold onto the melting popsicle, you wait and wait and wait. It's tiring almost as much as it's lazer focused ambition, deeply rooted desire and the unrelenting hope that it will work, that it will come. And it does, I promise it does. The waves crash, the beach floods and the pain passes, the water cool and soothing and you can let yourself fall in, sinking, sinking. And it's good, it's perfect, what you were hoping and more, holding and embracing you and welcoming you into the stillness you always knew you were reaching for.

What kind of hot are you? Bob the builder hot.

i am not saying bob the builder is hot, im just saying you have the hotness of a handyman. you're humble, down to earth, and exist with an easy confidence that takes peoples breath away. you always seem to know exactly what you are doing. you may still be stuck in your hometown, but you have quite the reputation. you do get a lot of business, after all. people around here sure tend to break things an awful lot, and they always call you, listening through the phone reciever with a light blush and bated breath, for your inevitable "I'll help you."

What flavor is your soul? Rosemary.

ah, the old soul, nice to meet again. the time of ages is etched into your bones, you see clearly. you've watched the heartache in this realm and sworn to solve it. but kindness without limits is self destruction. oh little leaf, strong and wise, you seek to bring peace with your presence. I'd be wrong to say you fail at this effort, but you mustn't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. you wish to please everyone, to protect them all. but if you shield the saplings from the sunlight they will never grow, and you one day will wither. protect yourself too. you know there are no happy heroes, so don't be one. be a friend. your loved ones will not forsake you for not being perseus slaying all their demons. you have your own monsters, why not meet them first before you conquer anyone else's nightmares. oh true-hearted paladin you are brave, and you are good enough. you know that right? be true to yourself, one cannot do anything saintly if they did not tend to their own wounds first.

How do you need to be touched? Fervently.

you crave a hug that cracks your ribs... the feeling of your wandering soul being crushed back into the bones that can't seem to hold it. you need a hand gripping yours so tightly you almost fear it may leave a bruise, a reminder that you are here. and that you are not alone.

What colour are you coded as? Yellow coded.

yellow, a study in wildfires, honeycombs, and summer rain. everyone sees you smiling and laughing, happy in all the ways but the way that you know is true to you. everyone believes that nothing bad could happen to you, that you live life so freely that you'd never miss a beat, even if something bad DID happen to happen around or to you. but you're as miserable as the rest of them. you might be warm and gentle, when you need to be, but at the end of the day, you have long since accepted that fire is like you: best to be admired but never touched.

Orianna

Love feels like.... Lightning

you feel like you're on top of the world. like you've been struck by lightning -- you hope that they feel the same. it's all electricity, those metaphorical sparks; all adrenaline and the rush you get when you're near them. they're magnetic, they have some sort of pull over you, and you live off of the high they give you. watch it; lightning never strikes the same place twice.

What kind of love are you? Love as a performance.

Your love is a masquerade, a dance, a work of art. You love with a veil across your face, unable to allow anyone to see the real you. Can that be considered love, you wonder? As a performer, you have all your lines prepared, and you know exactly what to say and when to say it. You’re charismatic and bold, seductive and hypnotic. Your love is a snake’s melody, the siren song of the sea. Your love is enchanting. Your love is melodic. Your love is afraid and fearful and longing. You ache to tear the veil off, you ache to cast poetry aside for the sake of something real and gritty. You’re terrified of the very thought. Being loved by you is to be loved by an artist; it is to be a muse. It reflects others beautifully, but never, ever yourself. Not really. Not truly.

Let me assign you an affection language. Violent devotion.

Everyone seems to think you are faithless, but the thing is you haven’t yet found someone who will bring you to your knees and make you raise your head in reverence. This world has stopped bringing you joy, you want more of the divine. You want to dedicate your entire existence to someone; you want to make them realise they are not something terrible, make them see just how much beauty they are bringing to this world. You want to be the only one for them, the only one they have chosen to love. There’s a god shaped pit inside of you and only they can fit in it. And what if they choose to walk away? Didn’t I say this was violent devotion?

What colour does your love feel like? Cold stark gold.

Fireworks, borrowed lighters and sparklers against a dark backdrop, yours is a love that burns stark and bright. It's scary though, like things that burn always tend to be, but for you it isn't the thrill of the open flames that gives pause and a slight stomach drop of terror, but rather the time when the flames go out, the sparkler ends and the night is cold and dark once again. Fireworks, borrowed lighters, a striken match, your love burns bright and fast and then maybe it passes, maybe the feeling dies out and you're left in the cold once again. And that's the feeling isn't it? Of being bored and waiting for someone to light you up again? To be fair, you do know you don't need it, but then again we don't often crave the things we need. And you crave and yearn and burn in the wait, restless in the knowledge that at some point someone will pass and rub you the right way, that some day you'll light up the night sky bright yet again. There's comfort in the darkness and solace in the predictable loneliness of the in between, but your heart still squirms inside you, waiting and willing and begging to burn up again. Your love might not be comfort, it's not one for the sick days, but then again, there's a reason why everyone waits for the shining lights in the sky during holidays.

What kind of hot are you? Pink panther hot.

you're a modern queen. you sit to the side of the dance floor and drink out of martini glasses, a perfect vantage point to look over your court. you like to see the way people's eyes linger on you, hoping you'll see them, that they'll gain your approval. you are offered drinks by many overeager servants throughout the night. when you finally join the ball, the sea of people parts just for you, and you hear the nervous titters of the crowd who are so captivated by what you'll do next.

What flavor is your soul? Honey.

"sugared mel e lingua serpentis." sugared honey from a serpent's tongue. oh dearest, look how you gleam. how the sunlight dances off your shoulders, how the heavens shine across your wingtips. but you are hollow, hollow, hollow. even the taste of nectar can choke a man. sometimes the sweetest flowers hide the sharpest poison. you lie to yourself, the worst lie of all. you needn't be so obsessed with perfect. the greatest beauty lies in our faults. do you think the moon apologizes for their mara? no, their craters add to their glow. my dear, breathe. you are not an island, breathe, before the honey drowns you. you wish to be lovely, you long to be loved. but did aphrodite trade her powers for perfection? she did not. you can be beautiful, and also whole. be whole above anything else dear. a heart of diamonds is worth nothing if inchor oozes from it. inward. look within and question how well do you know yourself? little petal are you trying to be a god? why? can a god bloom from sullen soil? no. you are whole as you are.

[uncanny-tranny]

I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.

If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!

[wistfulwatcher]