#also. one last additional note. even though this has never been in character for booster gold. I feel like he Should talk like bill and Ted.

[bonebrokebuddy]

Unbeknownst to Wally, the notes are from Clockwork desperately trying to contact anyone who can actually influence the timestream outside the Observant’s watchful eyes.

After getting the notes to Bruce, they reveal the frantic ramblings of a [Parent? Mentor? Guardian?], desperately crying out for them to save his [word untranslatable but presumed to mean son, mentee, or child] from a government organization a few universes over.

The being, who introduces himself as Clockwork, reveals he cannot influence anything himself but can watch over the streams of time and has observed Wally’s ability to interfere and change it’s threads. If his [son?] dies, it will mean the destruction of all of the infinite realms (a cosmic foil to the speed force that’s a force of death and timelessness instead of life and the constant movement forward of the universe).

All in all, the letters are rushed, barely explain anything except location, date, what condition he’s in, and how to save the boy.

Who exactly is this boy? Why is he so important to the Infinite Realms? What are the Infinite Realms exactly? Who is this “Clockwork” and why are they so important? Who are the Observants? And so many more. All are valid questions, and all are entirely unanswered.

But regardless, with Captain Marvel confirming the existence of the Infinite Realms, that it was under attack, and the very real negative effects it would have on their universe if it collapsed; Wally must now gather a crew and embark on a rescue mission across universes to save this kid[? They actually don’t really know his status of age other than he’s younger and in the care of the mysterious “Clockwork” who sent the letters in the first place].

Batman, because… of course he’s going to go investigate what the hell is happening. Not only can his eye for strategy, stealth, hacking, and intimidation give the team an advantage in getting the most answers out of the government ages there. But Bruce also has so many damn questions, barely any of which were answered by the notes Wally received, so he needs to go into this mission to investigate not only this new alternate universe government threat but to get as much information possible before they leave, in addition to ensuring Clockwork’s child is safely rescued.

Clark is elected as he is most likely to handle whatever this government organization has in store (and Clark “got injured” in the most recent supervillain battle that smashed into the Daily Planet, so he conveniently has some time off while he “recovers from his injury.” But also because he heard a kid was in danger and, well, it feels wrong to not help someone in need).

Captain Marvel (god, they gotta get to know the guy more. he’s so damn reserved but is great at this particular brand of buck-wild missions), not only because of his incredible intelligence, invulnerability, strength, and being great with kids and teenagers; but also is primarily chosen for the team due to his knowledge of the Infinite Realms. He can also give live feedback on the state of the Realm that’s apparently actively tearing apart and crumbling! If something goes wrong, Cap will be able to give them a warning before all shit breaks loose.

Next recruitment is Patrick O’Brian, aka Plastic Man. His abilities of stealth (if he can keep his mouth shut), infiltration (absolutely), invulnerability (overpowered as high hell), versatility (dear god he can literally become anything or anyone as long as it’s in his own color pallet), and because he has a particular soft-spot for kids.

(Plas and Clark are already moping to each other about having to leave their respective partners (Woozy and Lois) behind. Meanwhile Wally is biting at the chance for just a tiny break from the twins, sorry Linda.)

Lastly, brought surprisingly by Captain Marvel is Booster Gold. His additional experience in time-travel and time stream manipulation will come mighty in handy during the mission. It helps that Booster has some “Bona fide genuine ecto-weapons, dudes! Let’s go and save Phantom!” that he brought from the 25th century. And, well. At least now they had the name “Phantom” from Booster to work off of.

Kon and Thad are notified to be on-call for the Recovery Team’s arrival back as clones were mentioned in one of the hundreds of notes and Clark thought it might be nice for the boys to have another friend they can relate to. Tim and Bart are close behind because despite Bruce and Max telling them to not interfere, they want to also meet the alternate universe breaking guy who has enough trust from Clark to keep Kon and Thad on-deck in case they’re needed to help the guy make some friends his age.

—-

This is rushed and not super refined, I just wanted to get the basic initial idea out of my head & get it out there. So sorry if this is a tad wonky to read at times, that’s my bad

Short DPXDC Prompts #576

Wally doesn’t understand these strange messages written on bright green post-it notes that keep appearing near him. Whatever it’s trying to say, the messages keep increasing in amount every day.

[petri808]

Secret Sixteen

@nalu-fluff-week Nalu fluff week 9/14 & 15 Day 7 & bonus day Future & Plushies (AU)

Her mother handed her the stuffed dragon doll, chuckling as the child quickly wrapped her arms around it, giggling with bright chocolate eyes.  “Is this from you mommy?��

“No dear, someone left it for you this morning.”

“But who?”

“I have no idea, the card simply said from your friend.”  She smiles at the happy child, “I’m sure they were too embarrassed to give it to you at school or something for your birthday…”

Every year from that moment it never failed to arrive, a special plushie left on the door step of the Heartfillia residence, sometimes with a bow or in a gift bag depending on its size, chest huggable to one blue cat that sat 3 feet tall.  They were often something she loved, from stars to the latest cartoon character, pink hearts, or silly weird animals, whomever was leaving these birthday surprises knew her better than most, but she had no idea who it could be coming from.  

Lucy tried asking all of her friends assuming it had to be one of them, but no one ever gave her a clue. For the first few years she tried staying up to see who it could be but always fell asleep before the person arrived and one year she’d even gotten her best friend and neighbor Natsu to come over and wait with her to no avail.  Eventually, by the time high school had come around she had simply given up the quest and hoped that one day the person will reveal themselves on their own.

“So,” her neighbor queried on their walk home from school, “what do you think it’ll be this year?” Natsu knew of her secret admirer dolls and he loved to tease her about it.

“I have no idea,” Natsu had turned it into a guessing game over the last several years, trying to figure out what the gift could be, and while Lucy didn’t mind playing along, it was getting old.  “But I wish they’d just give it to me in person.  I mean we’re older now and if someone has a crush on me they should just say something.”

“Oh really, you think it’s that easy to just walk up to someone they like and go hi, I’m the one that’s been stalking you for 10 years, but I really like you so here’s your gift and will you be my girlfriend?”

A flush creep’s over the girl’s cheeks with blotches popping up on her chest, “W-Well when you say it like that I guess not!  And I wouldn’t call them a stalker, they’re probably just really shy or something and I think that’s cute!”  

He chuckles, “O-Okay, maybe you’re right.  You said they seem to know the things you like so, any guess at what it’ll be this year?”

“Mmm,” tapping her chin, “a giant pencil or maybe something from Pokemon, if they’ve figured out I started playing that Go game recently.”

“Sounds like good guesses.” He stops and turns on her, “Hey, wanna stop for ice cream?” holding out his arm, “my treat for your birthday.”

“Aww, Natsu,” she flutters her lashes and weaves her arm through the crook of his with a giggle, “Why I’d be delighted!”  

“Yeah okay weirdo,” laughing at her horrible fake southern accent…

With ice cream cones in hand, the two friends sit down on a bench at Magnolia park discussing the test that was coming up tomorrow.  It was the last final of the year for both of them and while Natsu was confident about the Chemistry exam, Lucy not so much.  She didn’t hate the subject, but it also wasn’t her strongest and if it hadn’t been for Natsu’s tutoring she couldn’t have maintained her B average grade.

“Just use the review notes I’ve given you to study with and you should be fine.”

“Could I borrow your confidence too?”

He squeezes her hand, “you don’t need it, you’re a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for.”

“Thanks,” blushing at the big grin he was giving her.  

“But, just in case…” Natsu stands up and pulls something out of his pocket and walks around behind her, “this will be my reminder to keep your chin up.”

She attempts to twist around to see what he was doing but stops when she feels his hands placing something around her neck.  Looking down as he finishes clasping the chain, she’s stunned to see a chain attached to a stunning silver Cancer Constellation pendant.  “Natsu this is too much!  I can’t accept…”

“Don’t freak out, it’s not real diamonds, just cubic zirconia’s,” chuckling, “I’m a high school student not a millionaire but when I saw it I knew it would be just perfect for you.”

Lucy traces her fingers along, grazing over each star point, “Natsu it’s so beautiful,” her eyes growing moist.  She pops up off the bench and throws her arms around him in a hug, “Thank you!” kissing him on the cheek, “I absolutely love it!”

“You’re welcome, Happy early birthday…”

~~xx~~

That night after dinner, a quick shower, and with her gathered ‘energy boosters’of Powerbars and coffee, Lucy cracks open her Chemistry book ready to pull an all-nighter if need be.  Natsu’s review notes were great, pointing out all the major highlights of each chapter and it would be her starting point for sure, but the young blonde wasn’t taking any chances.  She planned to utilize all the chapter quizzes as well to practice the formulas since that was her weakest point.

‘Exothermic is the process of releasing energy… in a high temperature reaction between a fuel source and oxygen…. In a fire the combustion is what produces a flame…. Multiple combustion processes produce heat…’ Exhale, ‘smoke is the gaseous byproduct…’  Lucy rubs her eyes and in the light of her lamp, checks the time, ‘great 2am already.’  

She stands up to stretch, arms, back, and legs, grabbing her last energy bar to munch on before walking over to sit on her window bench.  Lucy loved this feature of her room, especially on rainy days when she could simply relax with a book amongst her collection of plushies.  To keep the fabric of the dolls from fading, the curtain was kept closed to block out the light and stayed closed most of the time. But it was dark out, so she cracks it open a couple of inches, just enough to gaze at the stars while she ate her snack.

Movement out of the corner of her eye in the shadows, the street lamps were pretty bright but when Lucy looks closer, there was a person creeping along the path towards her porch! ‘My secret admirer!!’ She dashes out of her room, down the stairs, and sprints to the front door.  It didn’t matter if she was in her pajama’s or that her hair was slightly skewed because she was determined to catch him or her ‘finally!’

“Gotcha!” Lucy proclaims as she swings the front door wide open.  “Oh, my…” but when faced with her admirer, shock quickly morphs into a giggling fit. “I should’a guessed it was gonna be you Natsu!”

With the gift bag still in one hand, he cups the back of his neck in a nervous manner, “Damn, ya finally busted me,” a goofy grin plastered wide on his face.  “Happy Birthday Lucy,” he holds out her present.

But before she accepts his gift, Lucy steps out, closes the door behind her and drags him over to the porch swing.  “I’m curious about why’d you keep doing this in secret?”

“Well when we were 7, I was too shy to give it to you in person, and even though we’ve become close friends, it was kind of fun to see you get all excited of your secret admirer and the gifts so…” shrugging, “I kept it up.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Eventually,” a slight blush stealing away on his cheeks.  He hands her the bag again, “here, at least I get to see your reaction this time.”

Lucy accepts the bag and pulls out her newest addition.  “A Charizard!” she hugs the dragon to her chest, giggling “looky at the cute flame on its tail!”

“Told ya it was good guesses today.”

“Do you know what else makes this dragon so special?”  Lucy places the stuffed doll back in its bag and scoots closer to her best friend.  

Gulp, “No…”

She reaches out, caressing his cheek, and feeling the rising warmth of the skin, “the first plushie you gave me was a dragon, so how ironic that when I finally discover your identity, it’s another dragon too.”

“T-that is ironic…”

“Shall I save you the next hard question?”

“Huh?”

The blonde giggles, retracting her hand, sitting up straight, and changes the tone of voice to a deeper Natsu voice impersonation, “hi, I’m the one who’s been stalking you for 10 years, here’s your gift so will you be my girlfriend?”  Now switching to grabbing the doll back out of the bag, holding it to her chest and giggling in an overly dramatic high voice, “Thank you, I love the gift!  And I’d love to be your girlfriend!”

“Alright, alright weirdo,” trying to sound irritated, though the smile was giving away his true feelings. “But, who said I was gonna ask you that?”

“Gasp!” Lucy fakes the sounds of sniffling and pretends to cry, even burying her face in the doll’s body, “I’ve waited 10 years for my Prince to finally reveal himself to me and when I finally get my wish you want to break my heart now, after all this time…”

“Oh, shut up,” he pulls her into his lap, “my drama queen.”

She peeks out from her doll, “Your drama queen?”

Plucking the doll away, “Yes mine, ” Natsu tilts her face up, brushing against her lips, “you were always mine, you just hadn’t known it yet.”

[yunasightx]

Names and Puzzle Pieces( aka , give me the Mcmercy fam fluff!))

(Behold this monster that has literally been sitting on my flash drive for a over a year and a half. I have no excuse for this fic besides the fact that I’m a sucker for wholesome expecting family fluff— and that goes double for this pair. Literally.)

Disclaimer:

As I stated before, this fic has been sitting around for a while .. so I really did not go through it with an ultra fine tooth comb (( and is also the reason why there are some characters, like Moria, who are not mentioned even though they have a strong relation to members of the original Overwatch---  especially in regards to Mercy and Mccree’s past. They simply were not around at the time when I wrote the bulk of this. I added Brigitte in last minute though , because it was a bit easier to mention her....and i may also ship her with a certain rocket-jump gal ))I did try my best, but I really just wanted to get it over with. So, apologies for Iand grammar issues. I may go back to edit later if I see anything insanely obvious.

In the meantime, happy reading and enjoy! ))

Tornborjn,

I just looked over the schematics you sent me. So far, the upgrade looks promising – but I’m a little concerned about stress the additional weight and momentum might put on the joints in Fig 4.  Reinhart is not  as young as he use to be  ( despite what he might boast about) , and while an extra booster might help the Crusader Suit have a little bit more of the “OOMPH” the two of you are looking for …. Osteoporosis is not just something that is exclusive to women.   Which reminds me…. I believe you are overdue for your yearly physical as well, Bärchen  <3.

Angela

Ps. I highlighted the issues I think need a second glance.  Maybe we can get lunch next Tuesday to look them over?  I have been craving grilled fish and sriracha something terrible lately.

Angela read over the email one last time, checking for the usual typos and general grammatical errors, before hitting the send button.  The email blipped out of existence from her computer screen leaving only the  default Overwatch logo quietly staring back at her.

The doctor leaned back in her chair with a content sigh, “Well, one thing down…. Several more to go.” She had spent the whole morning cleaning out her (what always appeared to be) constantly full inbox; replying to and sending out correspondences to anyone and everyone who had questions and concerns for the Head Doctor of the reinstated global peacekeeping organization. Angela supposed she could have been fielding most of them off to an intern, or even asked Athena for assistance, but she liked being proactive in things ---- and truth was… she needed SOMETHING to do for the next couple of months.

Angela glanced over to her Valkyrie Suit which stood like marble statue between the two pristine white and glass shelves behind her desk  while her hand came up to rest on her still- rounding  stomach.   The lighting of the room gave the enameled white coating a soft iridescent glow and illuminated  rest of the black, orange and gold details.  The sight of it rising over the back of her chair, even with the wings powered off, as someone walked into her pristine office was something  that she knew bordered on spiritual

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss the adrenaline, the rush, and energy of being on the field ,or being actively involved in something ; but while the she would always be incredibly proud of her first child ---- at the moment she now had other lives she had to care for first.

And she knew the others were in good hands; Lucio and Zenyatta were newer to the life style of being a Overwatch Field medic , but so far they had shown enough promise that most of Mercy’s fears had been eased.  And dear darling Brigitte had taken the helm of that group in stride after dealing with patching up Reinhardt for years. They often came to her for advice, and she was very happy with how far all of them had come since joining Overwatch.

Angela actually had the sneaking suppression that donning the Valkyrie suit for so long was the reason why her pregnancy had been going so smoothly —for the most part— in the first place . The results weren’t completely definitive, but it seems wearing and handling experimental bio- nanotechnology over a long period of time had had some unforeseen side effects.  One of which  being what basically boiled down to slowing down the aging of Angela’s cells. It wasn’t much, just a under a decade in difference to her chronological age—-she would still age, she just wouldn’t have to worry about things like grey hair , wrinkles , mammograms, and arthritis as soon as everyone else.

Ana had joked the she should retire and just sell her product to  a home-shopping network  as the newest “anti-aging skin care line” --- then buy a nice little vacation home in Hawaii for her , McCree and the little ones ( with an extra guest house  for their favorite “Nana”, of course).

But, Mercy knew that at nearly Thirty-Nine years of age she should have expected a myriad of complications with getting pregnant, at least naturally ---- especially with both her and McCree starting to push forty. So, when it had happened after their first try… it had come as a bit of shock.  She and Jesse had talked about the possibility of children, the idea of growing their family just a little, but they had still had gone into the whole thing with a mindset of “if it happens, it happens”.

And when they discovered it they would be having twins….

Well, Mercy made a note to add gynecology and fertility research to her ever growing list.  After she had to pick McCree off the floor that is.

But, aside from three and a half months of nightmarish morning sickness and the never ending whiplash of weird cravings, everything had been progressing surprisingly well.

Well… almost everything.  

Angela’s thoughts broke off when she felt what was quickly becoming familiar fluttering of movement pushing against the palm of her hand.  She laughed and lightly rubbed her fingers over the spot, “I guess nap time is over , hmm?” She hummed. She felt another little persistent nudge and sighed, “Right..... back to work!”  

Angela braced her hands against the armrests and pushed away from her desk, before awkwardly hauling herself back to her feet; grunting as her center of gravity and new constantly-changing weight shifted back to her pelvis as her very round stomach curved out in front of her and her lower back arched in.

Angela knew she was surprising large, even with twins.  She looked more like she was nearing the tail end of her third trimester with one child, rather than twenty weeks with two.

She had given up trying to button her lab coat and pants weeks ago, and forgot the last time she had been actually able to see her feet (were her toes still painted sky blue?  Or was it lilac? Rustic orange ? The world will never know. )  Now, she just opted for breathable tunic dresses and a nice pair of stretchy leggings with her favorite pair of flats  ——and when she was home, she all put lived in Jesse’s flannel shirts ( but, she had the feeling even they wouldn’t fit for much longer either at this rate..)    

She thought about the closet of cute, but sensible new maternity wear Ana , Lena, Brigitte and Pharah had eagerly  helped her shop for  just a few weeks ago (with the former captain letting Mercy know she should be very thankful she didn’t have to be stuck with horrible fashion styles that were around when she was having Pharah… or the lack there of).  She felt a bit guilty that she was growing out of them so quickly.

Then again….. technically the twins were farther along than twenty weeks.  At least, from a gestational stand point.

That was other thing . The other unforeseen side effect of donning her Valkyrie suite for so long and so often.  Besides slowing down her ownaging, somehow the twins were growing at a slightly accelerated rate.  Not insanely or supernaturally fast, but every test her and Winston had run had proven they were consistently three weeks ahead of any  normal development.

Mercy had gone back and doubled, even tripled checked her math, but it was hard to mistake the night that led to all of this.  It was enough of an oddity that even though there had been no other complications, both of them agreed to err on the side of caution and treat her as a usual High-risk case and closely monitor her and the babies’ progress.  

Angela huffed and braced one hand against her lower back as the other started rubbing circles along her upper right side, hoping to dislodge whoever decided to jam themselves between her spleen and ribcage. She waddled over to her stainless steel work station by the large glass wall that ran the length of the room and looked out into the hallway between her and the panoramic windows that viewed  the deep shimmering blue waters of the Alboran Sea.  She picked up the tablet she had left there and pulled up her own medical file, along with half- a- screen’s worth of notifications of upcoming appointments and tests.  The lab results from her latest round of blood tests had just come in; most of her levels were fine, except her iron levels which were a tad little low (Angela rolled her eyes at that. Of course, Jesse’s spawn would be as obsessed with red meat as their father.)

She quickly scrolled through the rest of the results, then sent them and the reminded of her next ultrasound away with a flick of her fingers before pulling up several medical files and the list of Overwatch agents who she still had to hound down for the yearly physical.  Thankfully, a majority of the list was already highlighted in bright blue, but there were still a handful of names in red ---and most of those she didn’t even need to look at to know who was dragging their feet to the medical wing.

Let’s see…..Genji came in for his exam Monday, so he’s done. Hanzo was on time, as always.  Lena is tomorrow—I’ll need to remind Winston about that.   Mercy tapped Tracer’s name and informed Athena to let her fellow scientist know about his needed assistance.

“Shall I also remind Winston that it is time for his exam as well, Dr. Ziegler?” The AI suggested helpfully.

Mercy laughed, “No, I don’t think that will be necessary.  I’ll just recruit Lena to help me hold him down, you know how he can be.”

The AI let out a slightly computerized sigh, “Unfortunately, all too well I’m afraid.”

I will  probably have to drag Torbjorn here myself after lunch next week …And I will probably have to ask Ana , Pharah, and Brigette to help with Reinhart, The doctor sighed as she turned back to her list, her fingers  briefly hovering over the names that were blocked out in black---- the white lettering spelling out the identities as sharp and finite as a row of marble headstones on a dark lawn.  The files had been pulled over with the rest when Athena had backed up the old medical records from the original Overwatch.

Gerard Lacroix --- Deceased

Jack Morrison --- Deceased

Gabriel Reyes --- Deceased

Ana’s name had also recently been shrouded in the mournful color, but she had given her blessing to correct the outdated file. Her active status was now in the same bright cobalt blue as her daughter’s name near the top --- although, she had objected to also having her “Captain” title receiving the same treatment.

“I’m retired now, malak. These old bones aren’t fit to keep babysitting you brats all the time. Just leave me in the back with the rest of the old timers, and we’ll bail you kids out when you’ve finished having your fun.”

“76” on the other hand refused to go by any other name---- no matter how hard Angela or the others tried to convince him to reconsider, the old solider stubbornly refused to budge.

“The commander of Overwatch died at the Swiss base.  If you want him, you can find him six feet under his tombstone in Arlington.”

As for the last two names….. well… despite their best advancements and research even science couldn’t truly bring back the dead.

And even then……….. Angela was not sure she would ever cross that line.  She had toed it with Genji, even the very reasoning behind her own nanotechnology research flirted with that perilous edge …

But sometimes, the line between Man and God was drawn for a reason, and the price that asked was just too much to handle. You could make life, mend it, repair it if need be ----but you could not return light to a candle that no longer had a wick to burn.

Enough of that, Ziegler. Angela shook her head to clear her thoughts, and leave the past where it was supposed to be.  She scrolled through the rest of the names until she came to one very familiar name that she wasn’t surprised was still in red.  

“What am I going to do with him?” Angela sighed and tapped opened the file, so focused that she missed the metallic jingle of spurs and confident clomp cowboy boots sneaking up behind her.

“Boo.”

Angela jumped in surprise when two arms grabbed her from behind and that mischievous, honey-whiskey -warm voice smirked against the back of  her ear.  She shot a pointed look over her shoulder ( which lacked any real bite), but Jesse just greeted her with one of his charming smiles---- completely unapologetic as he leaned down and placed a kiss on the back of her shoulder as both of his hands drifted down to the sides of her stomach.  

“How’re y’all doin’?”  

Angela could feel his warm chuckle and smile against her skin when he felt one of the twins jab at the underside of his human palm,  “Well, that one definitely takes after me. Not even out yet, and already tryin’ to start a fight.”

Angela rolled her eyes, but there was smile on her face as she turned her head and kissed his cheek. He had trimmed his beard a little bit from the wild bush he had during his vigilante days, and his hair was back to the style he had it during the prime of his days in Blackwatch .  It was still unkempt and disheveled as ever, but Angela has always liked that length on him. And Jesse said he finally got sick having it stick to the back of his neck in the blistering heat and finding beard hairs in his whiskey.

“Did you just get back?” She could still smell the salt, sea spray, and limestone of Ilios on him, along with a bit of gunpowder and a little bit of nicotine.   Jesse had reluctantly agreed to cut back on the smoking when they decided to try to start a family (only because she had  threatened that he would have to bunk with Genji , Hanzo and Zenyatta  for the next  eighteen  years  if he so much as thought about lighting up around her or the children) , but when he was out on assignment he still smoked at a cigar or two. Mercy was at least grateful he wasn’t smoking a pack a day anymore.

He had cut back on drinking too. Genji had mostly been the one to thank for that----he and Zenyatta had been helping Jesse slowly deal with his demons over the last year and a half.  For the youngest Shamada, it was the least he could do for his former Blackwatch brother and very dear friend, and the two now had a bond that went deeper than just former coworkers.

It was nice to see both of them smile so easily again.

Eventually, the two of them ganged up on her;  and while she originally dug in her heels and refused to acknowledge the parts of  her that she shoved and locked away in deep  into the shadows, far away from anyone else (her failures, her regrets , guilt and blame and what ifs)  ……it didn’t take a neuro scientist to know that something besides her work or adjustments to her suit was keeping her awake all night. And her heart was so much lighter for it.

“Just docked”,Jesse pressed another kiss against her shoulder before lifting his head a bit and resting his chin there with a deep content hum, “Figured I’d hide out here for a bit before having to face the paperwork.” He wrapped his arms under her stomach to pull her into his warmth, “Don’t think I’ll be able to keep doing this for much longer. What are ya feedin’ these kids ,Angie?”

Angela smacked his arm ,”Burgers and sriracha. And I wonder who I can thank for that.”

“Hey, don’t pick on me. I remember those paper bags you tried hiding under your desk,’ Miss McDonalds’.”

“It was Wendy’s.” Angela said automatically, not even phased about Jesse calling her out on her old guilty pleasure.

“Yeaaaaaaaahh,” Jesse drawled out with a lazy smirk that she could feel curl against her neck , “ but you’re gonna be stuck with a bunch ol McCrees so I figured it was more fitting.”

“Who said they were going to be “McCrees”?”

Angela had to bite down on her tongue from laughing as the charming “I’m winning this round” smirk slipped right off the gunslinger’s face.

“That ain’t very nice, Angel. Don’t be mean.”

“I am not being mean,” Angela had to try very to keep her voice clinical and matter-of-fact , instead of breaking out into the giggles that tickled in her throat. She knew it wasn’t nice to tease him like this, but it was cute when he pouted. “Technically, we are not married so—“

“And you told me you didn’t want that right now,” Jesse pulled away, and Angela knew instantly that she went too far.   Frustration mixed with the jet lag and three sleepless nights of clearing out stubborn Talon agents from Greek ruins that lined the cowboy’s shoulders, giving him a wounded look that was worse than any bullet to her heart.

She knew without asking what his plan had been the moment he stepped on to the helipad---- a nice cold drink, kick off those dumb boots, and to spend the rest of a quite afternoon with the woman and mother of his children who had basically stolen his heart almost twenty-two years ago.  

“ I offered it to you, but you said it wasn’t necessary. That is just a dumb piece of pa----“

Angela swallowed the rest of his argument by reaching out and pulling his head down to kiss him sweetly, putting a cooling balm on his temper.  He seemed to have gotten the message because his shoulders instantly relaxed under her hands as his went to her widened hips and he shook his head with a gravely sigh, “I really don’t like how easily you can get under my skin like that sometimes, woman.”

She shook her head and gave him another kiss before pulling back and reaching up to apologetically smooth back his hair, pushing back a laugh when he tried to puller closer but her stomach got in the way, “ No, that was a terrible attempt of a joke. I shouldn’t have said it.”

Jesse had always been the more emotional one between them; the sentimental, passionate, and sweet parts of their relationship --- a simmering slow southern day outside of Sante Fe. Even after all these years, she still had trouble accepting that when Jesse McCree loved you  he did it absolutely, openly,  and without holding anything back----it was all or nothing for him.

When she thought back on it, Angela realized she never stood a chance.

For Jesse, a ring and wedding was more than just a tradition.  It wasn’t a claim on her, or a way “to keep her an honorable woman” and their children from being born under questionable circumstances or the hundreds of other reasons people have married for over the thousands and thousands of years of human history.

It was a promise. One of the most important ones he could ever give, besides his oath to Reyes and Amari when they offered him a rank in Overwatch ----a chance to do something worthwhile and good.

Angela just didn’t know if she was worthy of that promise just yet.  

She still had moments where she worried if she could do this.  If they could really could do this. That whisp of doubt that had spread and thrived in the shadow of the ruins and rubble of the old Overwatch.  In the shadow of her every regret and helplessness and weakness when everything she held dear crumbled right through her fingers. The one thing she could never heal and fix.  

Those names flickered in her mind again.

....The names of those she failed to support.

But, she was more than willing to try.

As silly, confounding, confusing, reckless, and dramatic as her cowboy was ----she never really thought the idea of spending the rest of her life question her sanity around him sounded bad. Even back before the old Swiss base had been nothing but a pile of bitter-sweet memories, secrets, and rubble. Before they had answered Winston’s recall……and then decided to try to pick up the pieces each of them had been carefully tucking away during the years in between.

They weren’t puzzle pieces that fit together, but------

“ I think McCree is a lovely name,” Angela hummed as she pressed her lips to his cheek, just along the curve of the dark circles under his right eye, “ I also think you should have gotten more sleep. No offense, Jesse, but you look dead on your feet. And I am the doctor who is pregnant with twins.”

The cowboy gave a resigned sigh and sank down into a nearby chair, pulling her with him and across his lap since his arms had tried to find their way around her waist again. She placed her tablet down on the counter and shifted to make herself more comfortable, placing her hands over his as they followed the faint movements of the twins hands, knees, elbows, and etc  pressing against her sides.  “Just give this old cowboy a few minutes, Ange.  I missed you somethin’ fierce out there,” He muttered against her skin as he rested his forehead against her shoulder again.

“You really should be taking better care of yourself.”

The gunslinger gave a soft chuckle at the old scolding that had lost its intentional bite years ago, “Acknowledged”.

Angela knew Jesse had a terrible time sleeping when he was away on assignment these days;  which was more than unusual because she couldn’t think of a place at the Swiss base where someone had not seen him napping with his hat over his face and his boots probed up on a random surface. It would not have  be long before said hat was slapped off, and he was dragged off by his ear  for laps by a very grumbly Gabriel Reyes to burn off all that extra energy he had obviously been storing up.

“And just what are you smiling about?”

Mercy came out of the past, and shook her head at Jesse who was watching her with an amused smile before she settled against his him with her head on his shoulder, “ Nothing, just some silly memories. I can prescribe  you some minor sleep aids if you think that would help.”

The main reason for Jesse restlessness out on the field was because when his mind didn’t have to be focused on a gunfight, it was right back here with her and the twins.  It wasn’t so bad in the beginning, but as her pregnancy progressed the little fear of something happening when he might be several time zones away kept knawing itself a nice little home at the back of his mind---- like a mouse chewing its way through a baseboard.

Nightly phone calls and face -time sessions helped reassure him that Talon had not attacked the base,  Hana had not accidentally shut down the entire power grid by rigging up a super computer for gaming, and Winston did not turn her or the children into a tubs of peanut butter ( “………have you been drinking with Winhelm and Torbjorn again?”  “……No, but I did have some kind of weird Japanese fish dish Genji made.” )

Even then ,Hanzo had taken up  Mercy’s position of McCree’s common sense out on the field --- taking away the gunslinger’s phone so the bright LED screen didn’t give away their position when he kept checking in every five minutes as bullets whizzed by their heads.

Jesse gave a tired sigh as he raised his head and rest his chin on the crown of her head as he drew in closer, “I’ll be fine. I just need you and our bed , and maybe a hot toddy to dull the edge. I’m home now, that’s all that matters.”

Home.  After how many years that word did hurt to think about anymore.  

The two of them stayed like that for a while. Forgetting about emails and exams and desks full of paperwork, and just trying to enjoy this moment of absolute suspended moment of peace like a sip of Angela’s homemade hot chocolate or Jesses favorite aged whiskey.

If she closed her eyes she could almost smell the air of the Swiss alpines again, feel concrete lightly bite the backs of her thighs and the warm weight of a young gunslinger’s arm and serape around her shoulders as her knees dangled over the side of roof while  she and Jesse watched the sun rise over the base.  Watching as the light and sky started out deep and rich and slowly turned golden, blinding and bright.

Almost….. if it weren’t the constant movement jostling her insides.

“They don’t like keeping still, do they?”, Jesse grinned, his hands were tracking them across her stomach again, ��eagerly moving from her sides and resting just below her navel now. He looked down at her, eyes lined with jet lagged and some residual signs of his drinking and smoking lifestyle--- but still the same soft and lively molten brown she first seen at seventeen.  

“Sounds like someone else I know,” Angela tilted her head up and teasingly nipped the tip of his nose.  

“ Hmmm….. How long are you goin’ to be cooped up in here? I was thinking you, me, some nice seared steak and pasta, and ---“

“If you even think about mentioning another one of your western movies again, Jesse, I am just going stay here and sleep in one of the med bay beds tonight.”

“…….Well, now who’s jumping the gun? I was goin’ to suggest that one old timey pirate movie Ana use to play all the time during break nights.”

“…….I’m sure you were, cowboy.”

Jesse held his hands up in surrender, “Alright, alright. You get to pick the movie tonight. Just don’t make it one of those boring educational flicks again. I’d like to be able stay awake with you tonight.”

“You liked the last few I’ve selected,” Angela pointed out, rubbing at her side to calm down whichever twin was unhappy bout suddenly being ignored.

“Yeah, well one of those was about those murders in Victorian London.  Of course that’s going to keep my interest.  But seriously Angie, as much as I want to know about what’s going on with you  and the kids, “ The Gestational Process and Bonding  of the Human Species  ; From Conception to Birth And Beyond”  isn’t exactly what I would call a “date night movie”.”

“……That is a fair point,” Angela relented, “ I just thought you would like it since you have pretty much checked out every single book we have about pregnancy in the library, and have  hounded Ana,Torbjorn, Winston and I with questions.  You even had Hanzo buy them for you in town.”

She watched as her cowboy turned a nice shade of pink under his beard, “ ….You weren’t supposed to know about that.”

“Jesse….” Angela chucked endearingly as she brushed his hair out of his eyes, “ Libeling, it’s been kind of hard not to.  But, it is sweet ----- a bit annoying sometimes, but it’s been a pleasant surprise.”

Jesse looked down at his hands, which had gone back to her middle, gently circling his thumb over the back of her hands. His voice was soft, almost unsure, like he was slowly trying to figure out an new language and did not want to mince up the words “ …..I’m just a fish out of water with all of this. I never thought I would ever have a shot at something like this. That it wasn’t in the cards for me with the shit show our lives became after everything.   But, God, did I want …… I don’t deserve an inch of you ,Ange. I  sure didn’t back then and I’m not sure I do----“

Angela kissed him before the raw emotion leaking into his voice broke both of them in two.  It was safe to say this was uncharted territory for both of them; two orphans who only had faded fragments of their own parents and a mismatch patchwork quilt they called family that had been made, ripped and repaired over the years as a reference.

There were a thousand things she wanted to tell him right then, but she would save that for when they were not surrounded by the cold, sterile, and professional environment of the med bay and her office.  She wanted to be wrapped up in one of his flannel shirts and his arms first.

“I do have something for you,”  She reached for her tablet and pulled up the file she had been saving for when he got back.

Jesse groaned the second end moved her arm, “ Angel…look, I know I’m due for that blasted checkup, but do you really—“

“You can relax, it’s not your physical. ..Yet.  I will be getting you for that later,” Angela handed him the tablet and watched as one of his eye brows raised at the sight of her name and date of birth at the top of the page. She offered him a sheepish smile, “ I know you wanted to be there, but I’m afraid Winston got the dates mixed up.  No one else knows about it yet…..but I thought it would be a nice surprise for you when you got back.”

She could barely hide her excitement  as his eyes flitted down past all the medical information and jargon the he did not understand, and landed on the one part of the report that was impossible to mistake.  She had to bite down on the corner of her lip to keep from beaming at him when his brown eyes went wide and looked between her, the tablet and back again. It was one of the few time she had seen the bombastic cowboy struck speechless,  “ …Both?”

Angela nodded, finally letting herself smile,“ Both. One of each. I guess that means we’re done after this.”

But,Jesse seemed to have missed her joke as he quickly set the tablet back down and demanded to know which twin was where. Angela laughed as she guided the one hand to where their son was trying to cozy up to her ribs again, and the other to where their daughter has kicked his hand earlier.  “ They do move , but I think that’s where they are for the most part, “ Angela titled her head as she took in the suddenly  serious look crossing on Jesse’s face that he only got when he was trying to whip a strategy during a mission , “Is something the matter, Libeling?”

“….. Figuring out how much I’m gonna have to stock up on ammo for when they get older. Maybe finally talk Torb into installing that finger gu-”

“Jesse Leon McCree!” Angela’s glare cut through his thought faster than one of her laser- guided scalpels, “For the last time, I am not installing finger guns into your prosthetic!”

“I didn’t say you, now did I?”

“ Torbjorn won’t do it either. I already warned him I would revoke his honorary grandfather card if I ever caught him with schematics.”

“ Awwwww, come on! That ain’t fair, Angel!” Jesse whined. “ How else am I supposed to scare idots away from little Annie when she gets older?”

“Are you thrity-nine or nine…? And I am sure you will come up with something. Also, we are not naming out children after wild- west outlaws.”

“…Dam.. I was sittin’ on that one for a while,” Jesse looked at her again, “ What about-“

“No.”

Jesse jutted out his lower lip and looked at her with those big puppy gold-brown eyes that had been bane of her existence for the last twenty- something years.  ….But, she would be lying to herself if said she wasn’t at least a little bit happy that genetics promised that there was a very good chance at their children would have his eyes as well.

“Fineeeeeeeee,” Jesse sighed when he realized he wasn’t going to win their  little stalemate, although there is more than a hint of a whine to it, “What about “Fenrir” for the boy then?  That’s something you’ve always liked.”

“Oh mein got!” Angela rolled her eyes, “Out of all the Norse myths I have told you, of course that’s the one you remember.”

“What? We could call him “Fen”,” Jesse pointed out innocently.  

“You do remember that Loki is the one who gave birth to him, don’t you?”, Angela pointed out with a sigh, “ Only you would want to name your son after the eater of the world and killer of Odin? How about “Tyr”?” She tapped  her finger nail against the scared- up skull engraved into the metal plating of his bionic arm. “The god of Justice. That seems a bit more fitting. “

Jesse watched her hand with a little smirk as he leaned his head against her shoulder again. They might have been playfully arguing about names, but she had never seen him look so content.  The look in his expression said it all… ….he held his entire world in his arms.  “Eh, it’s not as cool. Any kid of ours is going to be hell –in- a- hand basket and an angel all-in-one, they need a name goes with it.”

“I think it’s just in your nature to -- how do you Americans say it----“  Go Big or Go Home”?” Angela laughed as Jesse gently, but playfully pulled her closer against his chest, his hands resting on her hip as his lips grinned against her forehead and his beard tickling between her eyes

“Yep ,sounds like me. I’ve always dreamed big---- how else could I have gotten as lucky to end up with someone like you? You don’t get chosen by an angel just by waiting around and twiddling your thumbs.”

Angela rolled her eyes as she shifted in the cowboy’s lap as their daughter let her know she didn’t like being squished between them by trying to kick elbow her pancreas. Jesse’s hands instantly went to the spot and circled his fingers to apologize.

They were going to be fine.

“Well…..I do have one name in mind… ,”Angela hesitated.  She wasn’t quite sure how Jesse would react to her suggestion. She still didn’t know how she completely felt about it.  

It had started as a little idea that had just popped up in the back of her mind the moment the blood tests had confirmed everything, like one of the single little cells their children had started out as.  At first, she just shook it off as an impossible notion, just the increasing hormones her body being annoying ; but like Jesse, it just hunkered down and refused to budged until she begrudgingly paid attention to it.

It was name that had weight to it, memories and heartbreak. But, she knew it was a name that meant a lot to Jesse… and even herself and many others in their little rag tag family.  And the more she had thought about it, each week the name just sounded a little more right.  Her mind went back to the list of names of those she had failed to save.  

You could not return life to can candle that no longer had a wick , but the scent of the wax would always linger.

“Gabriel.”

She carefully watched his face as her stomach squirmed in a way that had nothing to do with her tumbling twins or morning sickness.  It only took a few moments, but it felt life time as she watched the confusion on his face melt into surprise then something so soft and speechless that she wasn’t sure if she wanted to smile or cry herself.

For now she would blame it on the hormones.

“I like it, Darlin’,” His voice was soft, like a warm camp-fire on a cool night as he reached up and tucked her side swept bang behind her ear. “ … Thank you.”  

She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand as his callused and tanned finger s trailed over her cheek, still the same as they had always been despite all the years.  They still felt like home.

“There is nothing to thank me for, Liebling. “

“…. I still want Fen as a first name though.”

Angela gave a heavy sigh, Andddddddd there went the moment,“ Do not make me kick you out of my office .“

Jesse just gave her another smug and charming smirk that made his right eye twinkle, “Gotta come up with a better bluff than that, Sugarbee. I’m your favorite pillow.”

“Well, since you are here ,Darlin..” She drawled a little too innocently , “ I do have a long list of overdue shots with your name on it.”

The cowboy blanched and Angela just gave him his smirk right back before breaking down into a smile and leaning forward to kiss him as he huffed against her mouth and pulled her as close as her stomach would allow. “ Woman, I swear there is devil in those angel eyes sometimes.”

No, they were not puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together ---  there were too many broken edges that had been worn and dented over the years.  They were more like pieces of a shattered glass that had been put together into a mosaic.  Something that was a little old and new at the same time , fractured and whole…  and made something  wonderful and beautiful when the light shone through.

[amongushq]

Hello friends of all sizes and shapes! Admin Fleur here with an important message I hope you will all take the time to read. I included tl;dr’s after each important section, so just jump to those if you don’t have the stamina for this long-winded explanation and ‘booster shot’ about GODMODDING, an issue we have encountered often enough lately to warrant this post. Hopefully it will answer questions you may have and give useful pointers !

NB: It is strongly recommended that you read this post and give it a like. If you hit that heart-shaped button, we’ll assume you understand and agree with what’s under the cut, which means we will use the eyes emoji on you if you mess up. If you do godmod and haven’t liked the post, we will link you to it so you can be up to date with our expectations. Not liking the post will only save you once, though, so better check out the  ( less than 1.5k words )  monster below !

First of all, what exactly is godmodding ?

We are all familiar with the half of it that’s forcing actions, thoughts, or anything else on someone else’s character, therefore stealing their agency from them. It could be describing said character getting hit by yours and the consequences of that hit, it could be implying a specific action or reaction that you wish they’d have to something your own character did. If you suppose someone’s OC cannot do a backflip and include that in your reply when they are actually a gymnastics prodigy, that was godmodding as well.

The other side of godmodding we don’t think about as much puts emphasis on the word god: your character is the smartest, fastest, strongest, no hit will ever land, no one will ever take them by surprise. In addition, they will never be caught with a wrong opinion or making any mistake, ever, because they are amazing and everyone loves them. Except, most likely not.

tl;dr: godmodding is writing your rp partner’s character in their place, be it their actions, backstory, abilities, or thoughts. It is also making your own character into some sort of Achilles minus the weak heel: compare to Mary Sue and Gary Stu.

Why does it have such a bad rep in the rp community ?

It becomes frustrating for the other player because, most of the time, godmodding does not play in their favour, making their OC look weaker, dumber, and generally less than they are supposed to be. If your character implied something about the other that is entirely wrong, the other player will have to disprove that claim in their next reblog, and your thread will quickly become a ‘[NAME] 101′, which no one is interested in. If this happens too often, they might even feel like not writing against you anymore, which is the opposite of what we’re here for ! It also gives them a bad image of you, like you haven’t taken any interest in their character whatsoever and just want to further yours, which may come across as selfish or rude – nothing good either way.

As for the superior character shebang, well... It does sound like bad writing. Of course your character can have talents, even excel in a couple areas, but no one is that perfect. Invincible characters are often attributed to beginners or younger writers who still have a lot to learn, so you are expected to discard that bad habit or those character traits over time. If you aren’t new to the scene but still write overpowered characters who can do no wrong, you will most likely attract people with the same kind of OCs, as those with more balanced characters may not trust you to be fair in your interactions. And if two or more perfect characters meet, it’s bound to become bothersome as they’ll always deliver perfect hits but never land a single blow, or all threads could become an intellectual pissing contest. Either way: tiring, and not the most fun for you.

tl;dr: people will assume you’re not dedicated, not interested in real and meaningful interactions, and unwilling to give your character building one hundred percent of your abilities. Which... ouch.

How do I avoid coming off as godmodding ?

Luckily, fixing that mistake is as easy as falling for it! You only need to keep in mind that whatever you write about the other mun’s character, there has to be some sort of emergency exit they can use if you’ve been incorrect in your assumption. Therefore, your character hasn’t heard someone throw an insult at them, they either think they’ve heard one, or they heard one but are wondering if it was meant for them. In the same way, they won’t throw a punch right on the other’s nose or scare them and make them jump out of their own skin, but aim that punch at B’s nose and silently make their approach, hoping to elicit this or that kind of reaction.

It’s a good idea to talk to the other mun and plot before replying to/writing starters: you can make sure they know your muse wouldn’t be fooled by sweet words, they can let you know their OC is a master at sounding honest when they’re not. So what? Your own character has good gut instinct when it comes to others: stalemate, your child can shine through at perceiving some ill intent coming from theirs, who in turn still manages to confuse yours !

Reading the bio page or app of the character you want to write against is always a good idea, as well as any headcanons they might have. Coming to someone already knowing the bases of their OC will definitely break the ice and minimise the impact of accidental godmodding in the future! It will also avoid you thinking they would react favourably to your stranger of an OC offering them flowers at random on the street, when character B is said to be distrustful and was noted to have an allergy to pollen.

As for overpowering your own character, try character stat charts! This one right >here< is very good, and you can add other points as you see fit. As you fill it in, you have a visual representation of their skills, which is really helpful in figuring out when too much is too much. Ideally, when combining all scores, you would fall somewhere between 40-60% Additionally you can try to figure out their pros and cons in pairs: they are great at guessing what people want to hear. Does that make them people-pleasers? Do they have trouble asserting themselves then if it means going against what they think would be the ideal answer? And at the same time, wouldn’t that make them the ideal friend to confide in with a heavy heart? As long as you have balance, your character can be a genius fighter — all that matters is that they are weak somewhere else.

tl;dr: when you assume something about a character who’s not yours, make sure to write it that way: it’s a wild guess, not a certainty. Never land a hit if you’re not ready for reciprocity. Communicate with others, read bios/apps! Give your character weaknesses to balance out their strengths. Sympathy points come from their failures, not their successes !

I’ve been godmodded. What do I do?

Let them know. Honestly, a lot of that happens because the offending party was in a rush, impatient, or not properly focused. It’s very rare that someone would purposefully demean your character or overplay theirs, so a simple message telling them where they went wrong should do it! You could even use the occasion to tell them more about your character so to hopefully avoid later mistakes. Understanding the ratio of power at play will help the both of you write a much better interaction where both characters are depicted correctly.

Now, if you notice that someone is a repeat offender, even though you’ve politely asked them several times to be careful, it’s time to let us know so we can take the necessary striking measures.

tl;dr: tell them about it. If they keep it up, tell us about it.

Is godmodding ever okay ?

It can be! We’ve all had the misfortune of suddenly being kidnapped for a family dinner out at the last minute in the middle of a back-and-forth group thread, and the general response to that is generally to have the character fall asleep or leave the scene momentarily. At other times though, you can trust your writing partners enough to throw a hasty ‘just godmod my kid, it’s fine !’ before being lost to the internet for fancy salad and a towering, organic burger. That way, your character isn’t suddenly wiped out from an event, and it will be easier for you to get back into the swing of things once you’re home again — all the while knowing your precious child is in good hands.

There’s also the possibility of you and one or several close friends being as at ease with each other’s characters as you are with your own, so you can have a guess at an immediate reaction (gasping, huffing, frowning, etc) they would have and be right about it. This is mostly at your and your friends’ discretion.

Honorable mention: assuming a character is stepping inside a place there need to be, or walking along with yours as they are heading somewhere together, is generally accepted. So it’s okay to have your character A slip inside a room then close the door after B got in as well, or keep talking to B as they start walking towards their destination.

tl;dr: if you’ve got express permission or an action was already implied in a previous reply, go for it !

And that concludes this PSA! If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, either flick us an ask or contact me (fleur) on Discord! I’m the croissant emoji, because I’m witty and hilarious.

[furederiko]

1st post for the month of August 2017! And it's the 'Clash of the Reds'. Yes, a belated write up for Kyuranger episode 24!!!

NOTE: This recap-view is for the episode that aired on Sunday, August 6th, 2017 07:30 JST. It was initially meant to be published last week, just a few days after it was broadcasted (precisely on August 8th). Unfortunately, the plan got sort of derailed. Long story short... the social media detox that was only planned to last for a week, got unexpectedly extended for another because I was bedridden afterwards. So yeah, hence the long delay. But not to worry, recap-view for episode 25 will arrive very soon to make up for that!

- Assuming the show will be 48-49 episodes in total, that means it's officially around its halfway point. Yes, eventhough things are already feeling so heavy and serious, we still have HALF a season to go from here! NOTE: If it's 48 episodes in total, that means this episode marks the end of the first half. If it's 49, then the next one (episode 25) serves that purpose. - We should know by now that Kyuranger isn't the type of show that likes to drag plot points. This episode is just another solid proof of that. Just three episodes in, and Tsurugi's facade of bravado has been peeled away, revealing a more sentimental true personality. Interestingly, we also get to see him struggling with memories of the past. I wonder if it's in a way, implying that Tsurugi is suffering from a... war PTSD? O_O. In order to get to the bottom of this, he needs to know 'the truth'. Thus, he sends out Spada and Raptor on an important mission. Which of course, also serves as the show's usual excuse for characters to be absent from the episode. Not that I'm complaining... - But the two aren't the only ones who need to be... benched out. This episode is clearly a double focus for the Reds, as they try... or rather, 'forced' to work out their differences. Hence... it doesn't even take long for everyone else (sans Commander Xiao, who stayed on the Rebellion) to get literally swallowed by our MotW, Malistrate Gabbler! IMHO, this right hand of Tecchu is a scary MotW that should really have had higher rank in the Shogunate. Why? With his ability alone, he actually succeeds in taking down SEVEN Kyurangers all at once! WOW, right? - Anyways, eventhough he doesn't approve Tsurugi as Kyuranger at first, Lucky begins to... sense there's something 'wrong' with Tsurugi. Commander Xiao wisely helps him realize, that the 'legendary hero' tends to act the complete opposite to his words. Proof? Tsurugi's boasting about immortality, eventhough he had already lost that ability before his cold-sleep. And hearing a holographic projection of Don Armage making fun of his fallen comrades, causes him to lose his composure. Symbolizing that inspite of his words that dismissed them as 'expendables', he actually CARED for them. Also, he's telling the Kyurangers to be his shield, yet he's the one who does that to protect Lucky! Oh the irony... - Speaking of being a 'shield', the show introduces a new character in this episode: Kuervo (VA: Daisuke Namikawa, who previously voiced Engine Speedor in Go-Onger). He's one of Legendary 88 Warriors that represented the Corvus Constellation System, their strategic advisor, and also a personal close friend to Tsurugi. He was the one whom Tsurugi refered to as 'sacrificed his life for him', during the battle against Don Armage in the past. Thus obviously, he's the one responsible for leaving behind a deep 'scar of friendship' in Tsurugi's heart. Fun Trivia: The word 'Cuervo' is actually the Spanish word for 'Raven/Crow'. And yes, in case you're unaware, Corvus is the Crow Constellation! So as always, TOEI isn't even trying to be subtle when it comes to names. LOL. - Intriguingly, assuming Kuervo's truly dead, then that means there's only one sole candidate who might end up becoming the new Don Armage: Olion (whom you can see using a sword and a mostly white outfit in the flashback scene). Remember my theory that proposes Olion as the Darth Vader of the show? This reveal just adds that notion. Then again, we never really witness Kuervo's body (just like Scorpio) as well, so anything's still possible here. Beside, we also know how that much-hated Jedi eventually became Vader? Meaning we can't rule out anyone yet, because the rule of death is pretty much flexible in science-fiction. - Lucky challenges Tsurugi to share his story (get it? his-story? XD), even if just to put them both on the same page. Instead, that makes him understand the reason behind his stand-off-ish demeanor: Tsurugi simply doesn't want to sacrifice any more comrades in battle. Aaaaaw... T_T. That's why he wants to deal with Gabbler and Tecchu alone. So yeah, someone's definitely having a lone survivor syndrome! Tsurugi even proves that point, by taking Lucky's Leo Kyu Globe as hostage, to prevent him from joining the fight. Fun fact: I just realized. True to his 'Soldier' namesake, Tsurugi is acting like a drill-sergeant. Showing all tough and mighty bravado on the front, but secretly tries to protect his comrades. He even has his share of warfare PTSD. That's a really good angle right there. - Due to the duration, of course said twist doesn't last long. Tsurugi gets into a fickle due to his previous wounds, and Xiao and Lucky arrive to save the day. The younger Red then proposes a new 'system' to Tsurugi's face: "If the current saviors... and the old savior work together... We... can create a new legend!". So yeah, ignoring the fact that it might have arrived a tad too quickly (I WAS expecting more resistance and stubborness)... the 'Rivalry of the Reds' has been resolved. It shouldn't come off as too surprising though, as Draco Commander says it best... "Say what they will, these two get along pretty well.". Indeed, they ARE actually two of a kind. Probably the reason why they're both Red, right? LOL. - While Draco Commander distracts Tecchu, the duo works together to free the other Kyurangers. Good timing, because they are all (including the mechanical ones like Balance and Champ, the joke's on them) almost on the verge of having all their life energy drained! With none of them being fit enough to join the fight (thus preventing any of the mecha sans Gigant Phoenix to be used), it's up to the Reds to handle the giant battle as well. Taking down Gabbler is easy, but what can they do when Tecchu decides to tag along? That's when a miracle occurs. Or in the words of Tsurugi, "It's about to be truly legendary!". - Yes, the other 10 Change Kyu Globes (including those of Spada's and Raptor's... who are busy tinkering around with a lever-like contraption) join the battle in their own free will! They boost the power of Leo Voyager and Phoenix Voyager, thus forming... the 12 Kyu Globes combination, Kyutamajin. Gotta admit, it's a rousing and exciting sequence. As for the robot itself, when I first saw the catalogue picture, I thought the new combo looked weird and odd. But now that I've known the concept and seen it in action, saying I've warmed up to it would be a huge understatement. Because I'm actually DIGGING this combination! Sure, some parts still looks a bit awkward (like the giant ball on top of the head), but this is a smart design, that unites all 12 heroes in one mecha without overdoing it. And this is coming from a guy who actually liked those messy-complicated clusterfuck formation in Go-Onger and last year's Zyuohger. LOL. In a way, it's a solid mecha. - The problem is, only the two Reds are using Kyutamajin! And knowing how the internet works, this has surely rubbed some fans in the wrong way. Of course, since this episode aired two weeks ago (once again, this recap-view is a week late), everyone should know by now that there's a logical reason to why only Leo Red and Phoenix Soldier are sharing the control of this mecha: because the others are being saved for episode 25! LOL. Then again, it's not like the Reds aren't hinting about it throughout this episode. I mean, they ARE repeatedly asking the tune of, "Can we really move it with just the two of us?". They're not even being subtle about it. I guess impatient fans wouldn't be able to see these hints past their complains, huh? LOL. NOTE: Kyutamajin isn't even using its ultimate finisher in this episode. "Kyutamajin! Meteor Booster!" is a just a secondary attack that only manages to take down Gabbler. Don't forget, Tecchu is still at large! - Tsurugi officially joins the team, as proven by his Kyuranger License. Yep, the one that Kotarou delivered for the team at the start of the episode. Something that even Xiao hasn't owned before (hence why he 'forgot' all about it, huh? LOL). It's nice to see all 12 onboard the same ship, right? Hold on, the question here is... what about Spada and Raptor? - Turns out, they are in Planet Tocky of the Horologium System, in search of the Horologium Kyu Globe. Why? Because Tsurugi wants to use it... to travel back in time, and see with his very own eyes, what really 'happened' to Don Armage. Yep, time travel is the show's next big arc! And this discussion comes at the right time, because Spada and Raptor pop up on the communication screen with a 'distress call'. Why? Because something is going on in the Planet that can't be handled by only the two of them... A few additional notes before I wrap this up: - Bandai Japan released a Special "Henshin Series" episode after this episode was aired. And it was.... hillarious as always! I thought the company was going to release one after every episode (they should, tbh), so it was a bit of a bummer when the series stopped four months ago in episode 6 (following Mr. Pega's short-lived debuted). The fact that the previous extra members (Xiao and Kotarou) haven't had their time in the spotlight yet, also added to the disappointment. So obviously, the arrival of this special episode was more than just a pleasant surprise. That's right, because all extra members get their chance to show off! Interestingly, this video didn't include Phoenix Soldier's henshin pose. Does this mean we'll be getting another one in the future? Especially with that rumored new transformation gadget? Here's hoping... - More movie scenes can be seen in the opening, as well as the new trailer that debuted after the episode. There were two standouts from them. First, Leo Red is using Herakles Kyu Globe in the movie, to somehow deal with the Kerberos one. Second, there are obvious scenes hinting that Commander Xiao is killed in the movie. Remember, this is Japan and their habit of spoiling things in advance. Eventhough the movie is doing really good! Then again, should we really believe that Xiao is dead? I seriously doubt it. Just look at what happened to the Kamen Rider Ghost's summer movie last year... LOL. - Haruka Tateishi (Amu of last year's Zyuohger) is giving an exclusive on-location tour for Kyuranger's G-Rosso action show. Go ahead and see it, it's all kinds of fun. Makes you eager to see her character returning to meet the Kyurangers in the upcoming Versus Movie, right?

Overall: Tsurugi's 4-part debut arc has come to a close. Thanks to the show's swift pacing, it didn't take long for the legendary soldier to get grounded and humbled down. Even his signature arrogance has already been taken down more than a notch, revealing a more painful and broken nature. I love how he and Lucky seems to exhibit contrasting personality from one another, while in actuality, they are still the same color. Yes, the conflict between them got resolved a little too quickly for my taste. Then again, it also proved my point that they are basically two of a kind. And in a way, Tsurugi was welcomed to the team in an organic manner, so I'm not complaining. Overall, a great albeit imperfect episode, with a stunning but equally imperfect debut for a new mecha combination. But that's because the next episode will be... something else! You'll see... Next week: Prepare for tissue, because Kotarou is giving us all the feels! PS: Expect the recap-view for Episode 25... in just a few hours from now! ;D

Episode 24 Score: 8 out of 10

Visit THIS LINK to view a continuously updated listing of the Kyutama / Kyu Globes. Last Updated: August 15th, 2017 - Version 2.10. (WARNING: It might contain spoilers for future episodes)

All images are screencaptured from the series, provided by the FanSubber Over-Time. "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger" is produced by TOEI, and airs every Sunday on TV-Asahi. Credits and copyrights belong to their respective owners.

[dust2dust34]

Pieces of Always: October 2032 (FICoN ‘verse)

Life continues after Forever is Composed of Nows.

by @so-caffeinated​ and @dust2dust34​

Summary: Ongoing non-linear collection of family moments for the Queens. (You do not need to have read FiCoN to enjoy this, but it will spoil the end. Please see the first installment for additional author notes. Thank you @jsevick​ and @alizziebyanyothername​ for the amazing beta!)

A/N: Please see the first chapter for an important Author’s Note, as well as under the cut for an additional one.

A/N: As of right now, I am taking more of a beta-like role because I’m having serious concentration issues with my other fics. The effervescent @so-caffeinated is taking the drafting lead and she’s been kicking all the ass, so please go send her your love!

Excerpt:

Jules just blinks for a second before going back to staring at the door in front of her.

Sara suddenly finds it hard to breath as she follows her gaze, her hands shaking as she grips Nate.

Ellie’s behind that door, she knows it as much as she knows she’s holding Nate right now, and she’s hurt. Badly. Every inch of Sara’s being tells her to go to her best friend, to prove to herself that she’s going to be okay, to hold onto her because she came so close to losing her forever. But she doesn’t. She freezes, utter terror holding her in place. She can’t move. She can’t do it. Opening that door and walking through that threshold makes it real. It means Ellie and Jules had really been kidnapped, they’d really been held against their will and tortured by a madman. Her mom might have been light on the details, but Sara had long ago learned to read between the lines.

(read on AO3)

A/N: Please read!

This chapter contains a storyline that requires warnings for physical and psychological torture of minors (teens). It is not graphic (this story takes place immediately after the assaults) and aside from the characters in question being underage, I don't think it's any worse than what the show has done. I would also add, because I have been asked this every time I have written any kind of scene involving a woman being kidnapped or assaulted in any way, that there is absolutely no sexual assault of any kind. That's not something I am comfortable taking on in a story and it should not be inferred here.

That said, I understand that this is sensitive subject matter for some. If you choose to skip this week’s, we completely understand. We will have a brief summary of vital details at the start of next week’s very sweet and fluffy chapter.

All Our Love, Janis and Bre 

*

The Fallout - October 2032

Sara Diggle hasn’t said a word since the moment she got into her mother’s car. It’s not that there’s nothing to say; it’s that there’s too much. She’s so mad she can’t even speak, so scared she can barely breathe. She feels too much all at once and she doesn’t know how to sort through any of it.

The silence screams loudly, though. It fills her ears, making tiny, everyday hints of the world outside seem deafening. A car horn, the hum of the car’s heater, her brother’s jeans rustling where he shuffles in his booster seat in the back - the total absence of conversation heightens all of it. Right up until her mother sighs, that is, and pulls into the hospital parking garage. It’s absurdly packed and Sara wonders how long they’ll have to circle before finding a damned spot.

Her patience won’t allow it to be long.

“Honey, if we’d told you-”

“Don’t.” She’s so angry her voice quakes and it only amps up her ire more. Her whole being feels off-kilter; does her damned voice really have to follow suit?

“There was nothing you could’ve done.” Her mother is nothing if not stubborn and Sara, in her clearer moments, can admit she comes by that trait honestly. “We needed you and Connor safe.”

“Ellie and Jules weren’t safe!” Sara snaps, her anger boiling over. Blood rushes to her cheeks, the roar of her own pulse rushing through her veins pounds in her ears. “I could have helped! I could have been out there looking for them. I could have-”

Her mother abruptly hits the brakes, making the car rock as she stops in the middle of the ramp to the garage’s third floor. “Why the hell do you think I didn’t tell you?” she demands, turning to face her. She ignores the honking of a car horn behind them as she stares at her daughter. “I love you, Sara, but you are way too close to this. You being in the field would have put all of us in more danger, including Ellie and Jules.”

It’s not true. Sara wants to scream it at the top of her lungs, stomp her feet and deny her mother’s words with every last breath in her body. Even though a quiet voice in the back of her head whispers that her mother might have a point, Sara pushes it away, shoving it down and pushing herself forward.

“I’ll be eighteen in two weeks,” she points out, unbuckling her seatbelt and reaching for the door handle. “Good luck keeping me locked away then.”

“Sara,” her mother starts, but the teenage girl ignores it, pushing open the door and stepping out. “Sara, what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m going to be there for the people who need me,” Sara snaps back, slamming the door shut with more force than necessary. “I’ll see you up there.”

The teen solidly ignores her mother’s barely audible creative swearing as she heads toward the parking garage stairwell. Part of her almost feels bad. She knows why her parents made the decision they did and she’s well aware that it wasn’t out of any kind of malice or mistrust. They wanted her safe. They wanted control over the situation, as much as they could have it.

But, damn it, this is Ellie! And Sara had been sitting in class doing homework while her best friend in the whole world had been kidnapped.

She blames herself, she realizes as she tromps down the stairs as quickly as she can, her sneakers squeaking against the smooth concrete. It’s ridiculous because she couldn’t have known what was going on. Sure, it was a bit weird that neither Ellie nor Jules were at school that morning. She’d figured something was up, but it’s not like her mind should have realized immediately, ‘Oh, clearly my best friend has been kidnapped.’

Except this is their lives. Except there’s been an ever-present danger in every shadow since before any of them were born. Except, if she had connected the dots and called her mom and dad right away, maybe they’d have found her sooner.

Maybe she wouldn’t have been hurt at all.

Sara swallows down the sick feeling that creeps up the back of her throat. She ignores the tears burning her eyes as she hikes her backpack further up her shoulder, finally reaching the bottom floor. Wrenching the door open, she spills out of the stairwell and onto the street. She jogs across the crosswalk to the hospital entrance. Fall leaves crinkle under her feet and there’s a solid bite to the October air, but she barely notices either. She’s too in her own head for that right now.

The doors to the hospital slide open before her and she’s in an elevator before she even has time to think about it. She knows the layout of this place well, after all these years. It’s not like either of her parents are infrequent visitors, given the work they do.

Before long, the elevator dings and she takes an immediate right when she gets off. She knows exactly where to go, not needing the large colored stripes on the floor to guide. She finally rounds a corner that will take her where she wants to be…

The moment she does, though, her feet stop dead in their tracks.

She’d been so dedicated on getting here, so single-minded about it, that she never stopped to consider what it would be like when she did.

The sight before her blurs her focus, throws her even more off kilter, because all of a sudden it’s a lot more real.

Jules sits on an oversized chair in the hall, bandages wrapped around her wrists and body practically swimming in a dull blue-grey hospital gown, as she stares at a closed door. Nate’s curled up against her, looking like he’s trying to bury himself in her presence. He seems so much smaller than ten, right now. They both look like lost, little children. Nate’s saying something quietly to Jules, but she doesn’t even look his way, much less respond. After a moment of silence, he tucks himself under her arm and pulls it tightly around himself. Jules allows it, but she also does nothing to encourage it.

She just… sits.

Sara’s feet are moving before her brain can catch up.

“Hey,” she says. Her voice sounds odd to her own ears - raspy and worn, which is the opposite of true - earning her both Nate and Jules’ attention. Sara’s stomach pitches when Jules looks up at her.

It’s more like she’s looking through her, like she’s not really there.

“Sara!” Nate declares. He lets Jules’ arm fall away and barrels down the hall into Sara’s arms, letting out a little sob as she wraps both arms around him and strokes his hair. He might not have been taken - and thank God for that; she can’t imagine sweet little Nate in that position - but it’s clear he’s in desperate need of comfort right now.

“I got here as soon as I could,” she tells him, cradling the back of his head. He responds by leaning into her; she bears his weight entirely, playing the part of the pillar of support he so obviously craves right now. She looks up to find Jules is still staring at her with the same frighteningly expressionless look on her face. “Where is everyone?”

Jules just blinks for a second before going back to staring at the door in front of her.

Sara suddenly finds it hard to breath as she follows her gaze, her hands shaking as she grips Nate.

Ellie’s behind that door, she knows it as much as she knows she’s holding Nate right now, and she’s hurt. Badly. Every inch of Sara’s being tells her to go to her best friend, to prove to herself that she’s going to be okay, to hold onto her because she came so close to losing her forever. But she doesn’t. She freezes, utter terror holding her in place. She can’t move. She can’t do it. Opening that door and walking through that threshold makes it real. It means Ellie and Jules had really been kidnapped, they’d really been held against their will and tortured by a madman. Her mom might have been light on the details, but Sara had long ago learned to read between the lines.

“Grandma Moira went to take a call from Uncle Roy,” Nate replies. “He kept trying to get through, but Grandma’s cell wouldn’t work in here. Your dad had to… get back to the place, with the stuff from today.” The lair, he means. Nate pauses before adding, “Mom and Dad are in there with Ellie.”

“They left you two out here alone?” Sara asks.

“Yup,” Jules says dryly, speaking for the first time, sparing Sara another look. Her eyes are painfully dead, and it’s enough to send a shiver slithering down Sara’s spine. It’s the kind of closed off she hasn’t seen from Jules in years.

“Grandma and Uncle Digg were supposed to stay with us,” Nate says, looking up at her with wide eyes. “They just stepped away for a minute and Mom and Dad will be back. The doctor wanted to talk to them.”

The thought of the doctor needing to talk to them about Ellie’s wellbeing socks her in the gut and just like that, a surge of adrenaline spikes through her. The almost irresistible urge to throw herself at Ellie’s door takes over - she just needs to see her, to just make sure for herself that she’s okay.

She wants to so bad she can taste it.

But she stays put anyhow.

Sara blinks hard, staring at the door before giving Nate a nod. And then she looks back to Jules’ vacant gaze. She can’t storm into Ellie’s room when the doctor’s in there with her parents, no matter how much she wants to. But Nate and Jules both need someone right now, too. Even if one of them is a whole lot more up front about that than the other.

“Give me a second, Nate,” Sara says, squeezing his shoulder before letting go of him and walking over to Jules. Nate hangs behind in the middle of the hall, aware that this part of the conversation really isn’t for him. He looks so lost, so small, and Sara’s heart hurts for all of them. She squeezes into the seat next to Jules.  “You okay?” she asks quietly.

“Always am,” Jules replies. Her voice is dull, empty and it sends another chill right down Sara’s spine.

“Jules…” Sara’s hand brushes the bandage on the other girl’s wrist and Jules flinches, pulling her arm away. “Shouldn’t you be in a hospital bed?”

“Ellie’s the one in the bed,” Jules tells her. “I’m fine in a chair. The focus is on her… where it should be.”

There’s something about the way she says it, a distant resignation that sits poorly with Sara, and despite the fact that she and Jules have never been particularly close, she still considers them friends. Concern wells up, leaves her needing to fill in the gaps to what’s going on with the girl. She’d feel that way even if it weren’t for Ellie, but she also knows that Ellie would be worried for Jules.

Ellie can’t be there for her right now, so Sara sure as hell is going to be.

“They said…” Sara starts, breaking off and shaking her head as she fortifies herself. “My mom said you were both chained to the floor. She said there was a knife…”

“She’ll live,” Jules replies, misreading Sara’s question. “He… Ellie’s neck will have a scar. And she lost a lot of blood. It looked like so much blood…” She looks down at her hands and flexes her fingers. For the first time, Sara sees how sore the other girl’s skin looks, like she’d scrubbed the flesh of hands until they’d grown raw. Sara’s breath catches in her throat. Ellie’s blood. Jules had been trying to get all of Ellie’s blood off of her hands. Sara cringes, her stomach revolting at the very idea of Ellie’s blood being anywhere but inside her body where it belongs, before forcing herself to refocus on Jules.

The other girl’s hands shake.

Watching her now, Sara wonders if she realizes she did get all the blood off.

“She’ll live,” Jules repeats, setting her hands down gently in her own lap. The movement is jarring, like watching a robot learning how to use its limbs for the first time, not that Jules seems to notice. She just goes back to looking back at the door in front of her.

“And you?” Sara asks softly. She wants to take Jules’ hand, to wrap an arm around her, but the other girl is the most defensive and closed-off Sara can remember and she knows without a doubt that would not be welcome right now. It’d probably make things worse.

“He didn’t hurt me,” Jules tells her absently. “I wasn’t the one he cared about.”

That makes no sense in Sara’s head, but she lets it slip past because there’s so much Jules isn’t saying and the picture doesn’t make sense in Sara’s head so far.

“What did he do to you?” Sara asks. The second the words are out, she wants to take them back. She can’t think of a more intrusive question and she has never been the person Jules would lean on, but it’s already out there. Jules’ face cracks, so slightly it’s barely noticeable, but it’s enough, and Sara wonders if maybe Jules needs to answer it, to herself even if she doesn’t say it aloud.

“He talked,” she finally says, looking at Sara. “A lot. One truth after another.”

Sara frowns. “What does that-” she starts, but her question is cut off by a new voice in the hall.

“Jules.”

Will damn near barrels down the hall, heading straight for them. Jules is back to moving in slow motion as she looks up, but the way her breath hitches when she sees who’s saying her name gives her away. The instant he reaches her, Will pulls his sister up out of her seat, gathering her up in his arms. He lets out a sob of relief, closing his eyes as he presses his face into her hair, breathing in his little sister’s scent. “Oh my god, Jules.”

“I’m okay,” she says, her voice cracking.

It’s the first sliver of emotion Sara’s seen from the other girl since she got here and it’s the only one she lets out. Jules purses her lips together tightly and ducks her head, pressing her cheek into her brother’s chest. It’s all she allows herself, as close as she’ll come to opening up. It’s strange for Jules to be so reserved with Will, of all people. She’s always been closest with him.

Will must find it strange too, because he backs off slightly to look at her. He cups her face, tilting it upward, so she looks at him. She doesn’t want to. That much is obvious. Her hands are shaking more as they settle over his and she sucks in a nervous breath, but she doesn’t pull his hands away or step back.

Instead, she looks up at her brother with barely concealed terror. She’s been affected by this so much deeper than she wants to admit and she knows he will see it, but she also can’t seem to look away.

Sara can see Will’s heart breaking all over his face but he covers it by taking a deep breath, his gaze dropping to the bandages on her wrists. When he looks her in the eye again, it’s all intensity and determination.

“Are you?” he asks. It’s more of a challenge, and Jules absolutely takes it that way. “Jules, whatever happened, whatever he did-”

“I’m fine,” Jules tells him a little too harshly. She blinks hard and taking a steadying breath. “I am. The bandages are… we were tied up. There were chains. And I tried to get free to help Ellie, but I couldn’t. My wrists are just cut up. I did that myself. He didn’t want to hurt me. Just Ellie. I’m fine. It was about Ellie.”

It’s impossible to miss how concerned he is, which tells Sara she’d been right. There’s a whole lot more going on with Jules than she’d tried to let on.

“Julie,” Will says with a short, humorless laugh before pinching his eyes shut and kissing her forehead. “I’m not even fine. I know you’re not either. And that’s okay. We’ll be okay. Just don’t shut yourself away, alright? You’re so brave and so strong. Stronger than me. I can’t even begin to tell you how scared I was.”

Jules’ face crumples as she lets out a little sniffle. She chokes down a sob, her nose turning red as she nods wordlessly. It’s a tiny motion, though, and Sara can’t help but wonder how much she means it. Will seems to sense the same thing because he pulls her close, hugging her tightly, trying to engulf her with what he wants her to understand instead of speaking it. His bulk overwhelms her, making her look so very small.

Nate hovers a few feet away from his siblings and Will must see him out of the corner of his eye because he reaches out with one hand and pulls the younger boy into a hug with them. The ten-year-old burrows into the embrace, digging his face into Will’s abdomen.

The moment doesn’t last, though, as Moira Queen reenters the hall.

Will immediately stiffens in his grandmother’s presence as she freezes, adopting an absurdly prideful look. She’s aged gracefully, the only signs her silver-laced white hair and her thinner frame. But even if there was more, her attitude would easily make up for it as she stands taller in the face of her estranged grandson.

It’s good to see some things are normal, anyhow.

“William,” the mayor greets primly. The hall drops several degrees and Sara shudders. “I was unaware you were here.”

“Where else would I be?” he asks, letting go of his sister and brother to step between them and his grandmother. Sara doesn’t miss the way Nate wraps himself around Jules, clinging to her. Jules just watches them blankly, her arms limp at her sides. “Where were you? She was just kidnapped and you left her alone with her baby brother? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Nate’s “I’m not a baby!” protest goes completely ignored as Will squares off against the Queen matriarch. Sara’s pretty sure he’s been spoiling for a fight since the moment he found out his sisters were in danger and Moira’s presence only serves to make that impulse worse. She’s always brought out the worst in him.

Moira narrows her eyes. “I don’t like your tone,” she says, stepping closer. “Or your implications, for that matter.”

“Screw implications,” Will snaps, his voice echoing down the long hallway. “I’m saying it flat out. You can’t even stick around to support your traumatized teenage granddaughter. You’re the worst excuse for a relative I can even begin-”

“I don’t care for your accusations today, William,” she interrupts. “And I don’t have the energy for them.” She waves at Jules, her facade cracking ever so slightly as she says, “Julianna is fine - although what she’s doing out of a bed, I haven’t a clue.” Will bristles, glaring at her, like she’s the one who forced Jules out of bed. Moira looks back to him. “Can we not do this today? I am not the monster you think me to be, regardless of what your mother might have told you.”

“Oh…” Sara breathes, wincing, her eyes snapping to William.

That was the absolutely wrong thing to say. Even she knows that. But Moira Queen is stubborn to a fault, and while Sara’s sure she’s hurting as bad as everyone else, she can’t seem to help the patronizing tone she always takes on whenever Will appears.

Sara braces for the fallout as Will takes a step toward his grandmother.

“Don’t you dare bring my moth-”

The door to Ellie’s room opening cuts him off as his father steps out.

“What is going on out here?” Oliver demands, looking between his oldest child and his mother. They both wilt, sheepish and even a little ashamed that their ongoing spat reared its head now.

Sara Diggle has known Oliver Queen her entire life. Despite the fact that he’s well into the latter half of his 40s and nearly all his hair is gray, he’s never once looked old to her until this moment. There’s an exhaustion that’s more emotional than physical etched into his face. His eyes are bloodshot and the smile lines she so often sees on his face are nowhere to be found.

It brings out a fresh sense of panic that races through Sara’s blood and she’s up and stepping towards him before she can think. “Ellie?” she asks. Everyone looks at her, but she only has eyes for Oliver. “Is she okay?”

Her question seems to both deflate the tension and amplify the fear-fueled stress in the air. And isn’t that what’s driving the animosity in the too-loud battle between Will and Moira? But as many problems as there are, the only thing Sara wants is to see her best friend.

“Yeah,” Oliver replies, his voice too soft. His shoulders fall. “She is now.” The way he says it is chilling, like there’d been a whole lot of question about that for a while. He seems to collapse into himself even more as he continues, “She, uh…”

He cuts himself off, though, as a doctor appears behind him, exiting the room. The man puts a comforting hand on Oliver’s shoulder, offering him a sympathetic smile as he pulls the door shut behind him.

“I’ll be back later to check on her,” the doctor says.

“Thank you,” Oliver replies, giving him all he can muster for a smile at the moment. The doctor nods, more than understanding, before leaving the fractured family alone. Oliver scrubs his face and takes a fortifying breath and says the rest on an exhale. His voice cracks. “She lost a lot of blood. She was in shock when we got her here. They had to do a blood transfusion. They, uh… they didn’t have enough in stock, but Felicity has the same blood type, so she volunteered. It was enough. For now.”

Sara’s chest hollows out. For now. What does that mean? For a split second, Sara’s entire world narrows down to trying to remember what her blood type is. She knows it - her parents made sure of that - but she can’t remember it. A quiet, logical part of her knows she and Ellie aren’t compatible, but what if? Sara wrings her hands. She has to do something.

“It’s… she doesn’t look good.” Oliver sighs, but then he smiles at Sara. It’s so tired, so heavy, but it’s real. Shaky and a little uncertain, but it’s real. “But she’s okay. She’s better. Ellie’s better.” The words seem to trip him up and his smile falters. Sara’s heart practically falls out of her chest, because she can’t tell if he’s trying to convince them or himself. “She’s going to be fine.”

“Oh, Oliver,” Moira whispers, a hand pressed to her mouth.

“There was so much blood,” Jules mutters, staring blindly at the wall, lost in her own memories.

Will can’t seem to decide who needs his attention most. He settles for wrapping an arm around Jules as he looks at his father. “Where’s her chart?” he asks.

“Son…” Oliver shakes his head, barely getting the words out. “You don’t want to see it.”

“I see blood loss all the time, Dad. I do this for a living, remember? I’ll know exactly what the doctor’s saying.”

“That’s why I don’t want you to see it,” Oliver replies, his voice weak and tear-filled, saying everything he refuses to out loud.

It was bad, so much worse than she could comprehend. It’s enough to make Sara stumble backward until she finds she’s hit the chair she was sitting in earlier.

Will tries again. “Dad…”

“She lost consciousness in the car,” Oliver interrupts. It doesn’t escape Sara’s notice that Jules nods at that where she continues to stare at nothing. “Her pulse was weak, her skin was clammy…” Oliver’s voice dies and he closes his eyes for a second before leveling his son with a look. “Will, you really don’t want the details.”

There’s something desperate about the way Will shakes his head, like he can’t believe anything he’s being told until he knows, until he sees it for himself. He was so strong a moment ago, but now with his dad here, telling him facts, but not the right ones… Sara wonders if Will knows how hard he’s holding Jules as he bites out, “Were her lips and nails blue?”

“Will…”

He doesn’t want to say it.

“Dad, I can’t not know how bad it-”

“Yes,” Oliver says, cutting him off again. It’s sharp, his voice rough and as terrified as Sara’s ever heard it. “Yes. And her breathing was thready and shallow and… It was bad, Will, okay? But she’s okay now, and that’s all that matters.”

That should be a comfort, but it’s not as Will shakes his head - it’s like he can’t stop - as he starts talking. “You can’t know that,” he whispers. “Dad, she was in hypovolemic shock. She might be stable now, but there’s the risk of organ failure or a heart attack or-”

“Damn it, Will,” Oliver snaps, so loudly Nate starts to cry. Sara grabs him, pulling the terrified boy close. Later she won’t be sure if she did that for him or for her. Pain, regret and guilt flash over Oliver’s face as he glances at his youngest, but he doesn’t move. His voice is frighteningly low as he says, “She’s fine. I know because I’ve seen this injury before.”

Incredulity covers Will’s face. “I get that you’ve seen a lot, Dad, but just because it presents the same doesn’t mean her body’s going to react the same. There are dozens-”

“No,” Oliver corrects. “I’ve seen this injury before. Exactly this injury, on the other… The other Ellie has a scar identical to our Ellie’s wound.”

“What? But that…” Will pauses. “That’s… Okay, but you can’t know that it happened the same way.”

“Yes, we can,” Jules says blankly. “She told us.”

“What?” Will asks, looking down at his sister in confusion.

“She was here,” Jules replies, meeting his eyes without an ounce of emotion showing. “She came back to save herself, to save this Ellie.”

“And you,” Sara adds without thinking.

Jules blinks at Sara. “Sure,” she agrees. “I was there. So, Ellie saved me, too.”

“She’s here?” Moira asks in a near whisper, stepping forward to grab his sleeve. “Oliver, the other Ellie’s here?”

“She was,” Oliver says, giving her a sympathetic smile. “But she had to get home, Mom. The man who took the girls…” It hurts him to even say the words. “He’s from her timeline. She had to bring him back and seal off the breach he created.”

The disappointment on Moira’s face is obvious and Jules lets out a little huff, shaking her head.

Oliver catches it. He opens his mouth, like he wants to say something before changing his mind. “Jules,” he says instead, “the doctor wanted you to stay in bed.”

“I’ve done enough sitting in one place today,” she counters. “He didn’t hurt me. I don’t need a doctor.”

“Sweetheart…” Oliver sighs, stepping toward her, but she instantly steps back. He immediately halts as she moves away from her father, away from her brothers, away from all of them into a space all her own. She wraps her arms around herself, pinning her father with a hard glare.

“I’m fine, Dad,” she bites out. “What I need is space.”

Oliver is crestfallen at that declaration, torn, and Sara knows the instant she sees him turn to Will, a lost look on his face, that he’s hanging on by a thread, that he has absolutely no idea how to deal with any of this. He’s the Arrow, a state senator, the mayor’s son and the husband of a fortune 500 CEO. But for all the power he wields, today was so far outside his control that he must feel like the rug’s been pulled out from under him. Shades of his worst nightmares have played out in front of him all day long and the strain of that is readily visible.

“Okay,” he replies after a minute. “Okay, you can have space, if that’s what you need. But… baby, please just go lie back down? Please let the doctors take care of you? I know you say you’re fine, and maybe you are, but I just… Sweetheart, for me. Please.”

“And for me,” Will echoes.

Jules’ eyes dart to Will at that, a dark look of something Sara can’t even begin to name flitting over her features. But something in the combined plea must work because after a long silence, she finally nods. Oliver lets out a muted sigh of relief as Jules scratches absently at the back of her bandage. It must be harder than she intends, because she hisses in pain when her nails scrape over her wounds.

“Will can sit in the corner…” she ventures with a shrug. “If he wants.”

“I want you close, but not too close. I don’t want to make it seem like I want it,” is what Sara hears.

It echoes the Jules she’d known as a little girl and a sense of foreboding slips down Sara’s spine.

“Okay,” Will immediately agrees. “Okay. I’ll go with you, Jules.”

She nods and turns to go back to a room down the hall. His eyes linger desperately on Ellie’s partially open door for a moment and Sara has the distinct sense that he wishes more than anything he could be in two places at once. Will pauses long enough to say, “Get me if anything changes with Ellie,” before following in Jules’ wake.

“Is Mommy okay?” Nate asks, his terrified little voice breaking through the odd quiet that Jules and Will have left behind.

“She’s fine, Nate,” Oliver tells him. “She didn’t get hurt.”

“But… she gave Ellie her blood,” Nate points out, looking between his dad and his grandmother. “She still has enough for her, right?”

“Oh, Nate,” Oliver sighs. In spite of the older man’s exhaustion and that the ten-year-old is really too big for it, he steps forward with a gentle, “C’mere, buddy,” and scoops the boy into his arms. The fear of the day fast overwhelms Nate once he’s in his father’s arms and he bursts out in wet, desperate sobs against his dad’s shoulder. “Mom’s fine. The doctors made sure not to take too much, okay? She’s just tired and she forgot to eat lunch. They gave her the room next to Ellie to take a nap and give her some fluids. Did you want to see her?”

Nate hesitates, looks from Ellie’s room to the one next door with indecision tearing him in two.

“Go see your mom,” Oliver tells the boy. “Grandma will go with you, okay? Ellie should rest more before you see her. The doctor doesn’t want too many people in there at once anyway.”

“She’s really gonna be okay?” Nate asks, looking his dad in the eye, desperate to hear the words again.

“She really will,” Oliver promises, sounding far more convincing this time. “You can see her in a bit. Just… let her get a some rest first. I know Mom will feel better to have you with her. She could use a hand to hold right now and I need to be with Ellie. So, that’s your job, okay? You hold your mom’s hand and I’ll hold Ellie’s. We can switch later.”

That’s a heavy enough responsibility that Nate goes along with it. He nods as his father puts him down before looking at Moira.

“Mom,” Oliver says with an exhausted sigh. “Can you take him to see Felicity? I don’t really… he needs to see his mom and we should give Ellie some time to… rest.”

“To look more like herself,” Sara thinks. That’s what he’s not saying. He doesn’t want to scare his son with the sight of his incredibly pale, suddenly-weak, bedridden sister. The thought alone is making her chest start to feel heavy.

“Of course,” his mother agrees, reaching out a hand for her grandson. Nate takes it easily, allowing her to tug him along. It’s such a stark difference from his brother.

The moment his mother and son disappear behind the door to the next room, Oliver’s shoulders sag. He closes his eyes, letting out a tremendous sigh. For a second, Sara wonders if he’s forgotten she’s there.

“Where’s your mom?” he asks, shattering that illusion. He opens his eyes a second later to fix his gaze on her.

“Parking,” Sara replies. “In theory.”

“In practice?” he asks.

“Circling the parking garage for an empty space and probably considering hotwiring a car to move just so she’s got a spot,” Sara answers. She doesn’t really care where her mom is. What she cares about is a dozen feet away behind a closed door. She stands again, stepping closer. “Can I see her?”

He had to have known she was going to ask, but he stands stock still, weighing her request anyhow.

“Please, Uncle Oliver?” Sara asks. She sounds young and needy, but she can’t help it. “I’ll let her rest and I know she’ll look worse than she is. I can deal with that. I’m eighteen this month, practically an adult. And I know they probably said family only, but-”

“You are family,” Oliver cuts her off. It’s startling how much gratitude hits her at that firm declaration. “I’ve known you every day of your life, Sara. You’re family to me and I sure as hell know you’re family to Ellie.”

It strikes Sara that she hadn’t known just how much she needed to hear that today, but she really, really had.

“Okay,” Oliver decides aloud, raking his hands through his silver hair. “She’s been in and out a lot, but maybe she’ll rest easier if she knows you’re there.”

Sara stands a bit straighter at that, nodding fiercely and adjusting her hold on her backpack. Her fingers have a death grip on the strap so much that her knuckles hurt, but she needs something to hold onto, something to ground herself in this moment, and that will do.

With yet another weary sigh, Oliver turns back to the room. His hand rests on the doorknob, but before he turns it, he looks back to her. “It was close, Sara,” he says. He stares at her, trying to make her understand. “A few minutes more and… It was close. And she looks it.”

“I can handle it,” Sara tells him. “I want to handle it. I need to be there for her. She would be for me.”

Oliver surprises her by offering up a small smile. “I have absolutely no doubt that that’s true,” he says. Without another word, he opens the door and gestures for her to enter the room.

Sara takes three steps into the bleak hospital room and stops.

“She already looks better,” Oliver says from behind her as he shuts the door with a quiet snick.

“This is better?” Sara chokes out, looking back at her best friend’s father.

“Yeah,” he confirms, a pained look gracing his face as he looks past her to his injured daughter. “It is.”

That can’t possibly be true. She’s never seen Ellie so pale, so devoid of life. There’s a huge bandage on her neck and an IV in her arm and a cannula in her nose. She’s asleep, but Sara has to stare a long time to see her chest move at all, to prove that she’s really breathing. She’s so still, and it feels so wrong.

“Felicity didn’t want to leave her,” he adds, crossing the room to a chair at his daughter’s side.

He doesn’t elaborate on what happened to make her leave, and Sara doesn’t ask. She’s afraid to - did she freak out, or did she pass out giving blood? Did people do that?

Sara’s eyes dart to him. It’s always seemed to Sara that her Uncle Oliver carried the weight of the world on his shoulders - or maybe just the weight of the city - but she’s never seen him bow under it. Not until today. It’s almost frightening how human that makes him seem, how normal. She wonders if this is what being an adult will be like, to see beneath the masks of confidence and certainty that everyone seems to wear.

Now that he’s back by Ellie’s side, though, now that he’s near his daughter again, seeing with his own two eyes that she’s okay, he seems… better. Stronger. It’s fortifying and comforting in a way Sara didn’t even realize she needed to see.

“You can sit with her, too, you know,” Oliver says. It’s only then that Sara realizes she’s still barely standing inside the room, her sneakers rooted in place on a square of mottled linoleum flooring. “She’s pretty medicated… antibiotics and pain meds, something to help her platelet levels. She should sleep for a while.”

“I thought you said she was in and out a lot?” Sara asks. She forces her feet to carry her forward to Ellie’s bedside, but every step takes effort, like she’s slogging through quicksand. Ellie looks even more ashen up close. Sara tells herself that’s really just the horrible hospital lighting, but she’s not sure she believes that.

“She’s a fighter, my Ellie-bug,” Oliver says, kissing his daughter’s fingertips. “Even when she shouldn’t be, she’s a fighter.”

The closer she gets, the more her whole world narrows down to Ellie. All she sees is her best friend’s limp hand held tightly in her father’s soft grip, the colorless hue of her skin, the way her body looks so very tiny against the clinical hospital bed.

Every inch closer she gets to Ellie, Sara finds her frustration mounting. This is wrong. This is wrong. They’re supposed to be at volleyball practice right now. Ellie should be ribbing her about her spike and laughing in that way that lights up the whole room. She shouldn’t be here. She shouldn’t be like this.

Sara doesn’t even realize she’s moving until she finds herself collapsing into the chair across from Oliver at Ellie’s side. She reaches for Ellie’s free hand, but finds she can’t unclench her fist. Her knuckles are so tight they hurt and her jaw is so tense it feels unmovable, so she grits her teeth as she lets the back of her hand brush against the skin of Ellie’s fingers.

When the other girl doesn’t respond, something inside Sara breaks, a torrent of fear and frustration and anger coming out in a muffled sob. She turns, burying her face in her own shoulder as her eyes burn hot with tears.

To his credit, her Uncle Oliver knows her well enough to pretend not to notice. Sara is not the sort to unburden herself on others and she’d just as soon spare herself the embarrassment of someone else acknowledging them.

But anger… anger is different. Anger she can share.

“I want to kill him.”

She exhales the words through thinned lips so quietly that she’s not sure for a moment that he even heard her.

“Me too,” he agrees a beat past when she’d have expected an answer, his voice every bit as quiet as hers had been.

Sara nods hard. Brushing hard at her watery eyes with the hand that isn’t touching Ellie - she can’t move that one; she won’t - she looks at Oliver to find him already looking at her. Their eyes lock. He’s got to be every bit as angry as her, more angry even, but he doesn’t look it. He just looks sad and it eats away at Sara’s insides like acid. Because how can he sit here? How can he push back the need to follow after the man who’d hurt Ellie and slit his throat?

“You should have,” Sara bites out, not caring that this conversation will likely get back to both of her parents. “You should have driven an arrow through his neck and left him to bleed out on that warehouse floor.”

Her words don’t stun him. They don’t disappoint him or convince him or anger him. No, his reaction is far more infuriating than that. He smiles at her, thin and compassionate, and Sara wants to scream until her voice runs raw because this is the only response she really, truly didn’t want.

“Ellie and Jules needed me,” he tells her after a moment. “Helping them is always more important than hurting someone else.”

“Is that a rule of wearing a mask?” Sara snarks.

“No, Sara,” he replies, shaking his head at her. “It’s a rule of being a father.”

She doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s such a stark reminder of what he’s done - of the life he’s led and how much he’d nearly lost today - that shame washes through her at her own self-righteousness. Ellie’s her friend, her best friend, but she’s Oliver’s daughter. And whatever she’s feeling, she knows he must feel it ten-fold. She can’t even begin to imagine that, but it has to be true. Ellie and her dad are so close.

“I’m sorry,” Sara grits out, looking back to Ellie’s hand. After a second, she manages to loosen her fists so that her index finger runs across the back of the other girl’s hand.

“Don’t be,” Oliver replies. “I can’t be upset that my little girl has a friend who loves her that much. I never could be. I’m so glad that you two have each other.”

She can feel Oliver looking at her, but she doesn’t look up this time. She just nods. There’s too much going on in her head and Sara can barely process her own desperation and anger. She has no desire to share more of it. She’s so very on edge right now and it feels like any little thing just might become too much to handle.

“Can I ask you something?” he asks after several long minutes with no sound beyond the frustratingly generic sounds of the machines hooked up to Ellie.

Sara’s voice is rough as she replies, “You can ask.” The “I might not answer” goes unsaid.

“Jules,” he says, swallowing hard and squeezing Ellie’s fingers before looking at her. “What did she say to you in the hall?”

Sara looks up at him, the question taking her by surprise. It probably shouldn’t. If she feels on the edge of breaking, she has to wonder if he isn’t a few steps past that. His eyes are so haunted, so pained and guilty. For all that Ellie is Sara’s primary focus, the question and that look are a stark reminder that half of Oliver’s heart is across the hall with the other daughter he’d nearly lost.

“Not much,” Sara replies. “She was pretty closed off. It reminded me…”

“Of how she used to be,” Oliver finishes. His whole body sags when he breathes out. Sara’s not sure she’s ever seen him so defeated. It’s jarring. “Sara... “

He pauses, shutting his eyes. He takes a breath, but it’s shaky rather than fortifying and when he locks gazes with her again, every single ounce of terror and pain is horrifying visible, like he’s dropped a wall and he’s willingly showing the turmoil behind it.

“You two are friends,” he reminds her. “Not… not like you and Ellie. I know you aren’t that close, but you’re friendly, and she’s your age.” He pauses, licking his lips, and she wonders where he’s going with this. “She won’t talk to me. Didn’t say a word the whole ride here. She just stared at Ellie with this vacant stare and… Sara, if she tells you anything, anything at all about what happened, please, please tell me. I want to help her - I need to help her - but she won’t tell me what happened. The doctor said physically she’s fine other than her wrists, but…”

“She hurt them trying to get to Ellie,” Sara blurts out. She’d have told him anyhow, but the sheer desperation in his voice is just too much for her to handle and she needs something to get him to stop talking before she’s pulled right down with him.

“Jules told you that?” he asks, a glimmer of hope shining through the desolation in his eyes. “She said that?”

“Yeah,” Sara replies. “Nate was there, too. She might talk to him. Or maybe Will. Probably Will. But she said she and Ellie were both tied up and he only wanted to hurt Ellie. She fought to get to her sister and hurt herself doing it… How bad are her wrists?”

He doesn’t answer right away, just looks at his own hands like maybe they’ve failed him. “She’ll probably have scars, too,” he finally says.

The answer is heavy enough that Sara can’t find words to follow up with, but Oliver saves her the burden because he’s not done asking questions.

“Was there anything else?” he asks. “Every time anyone’s asked her what happened, what he did, all she’s said is that he hurt Ellie and did nothing to her.”

“She said the same to me,” Sara confirms, replaying the conversation in her head. “She said all he did was talk to her.”

“Talk to her?” Oliver asks. His voice is alert and honed in, all razor-sharp with hard edges. “About what? What did he say?”

“She said… ‘true things’,” Sara replies, trying to pull the words out of her memory - it’s foggy; today has been such a blur - but the answer clearly brings Oliver no relief. “That’s all she said. No specifics.”

“If she says anything else…”

“I’ll tell you,” Sara confirms. “But… Uncle Oliver… I’m not sure about this, but I don’t think you should wait for her to talk about it. I don’t know that she will.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, running a hand through his hair. He’s lucky he’s not losing it, with how often he’s done that today alone. “I know that. Jules is… I love that girl so damned much, but she will shut down and she will lash out.”

“She will,” Sara agrees. Silence descends. A moment later, her curiosity gets the best of her. “What do you think he said to her?”

“I think he knew how to hit her where it hurts most,” Oliver confides. His voice is quiet, almost childlike, and it’s haunting. “I think he told her that she didn’t matter, that Ellie was the only reason he was here. I think he told my little girl over and over again that she was worthless. And I think she believed it.”

The likelihood of that slithers across Sara’s skin, leaving a shiver in its wake. At around eight years old or so, she can remember Jules shunning Ellie. The younger girl had been so confused, so hurt. She hadn’t even done anything, she’d protested, but that hadn’t stopped Jules from being mean anyhow. Uncle Oliver and Aunt Felicity hadn’t let that stand, had redirected the older girl with gentle but firm guidance. Sometimes it worked better than others. “You never wanted me anyhow” had been Jules’ go-to refrain in those days. Sara’s not sure the last time she heard that; the change in Jules since those years is remarkable. But it hadn’t been sudden.

She’s left wondering if maybe Jules’ wounds from today weren’t every bit as brutal as Ellie’s.

“There’s so much the girls can’t say about their lives,” he says, shaking his head. “So much they keep secret for my sake. They suffer so much because of it.”

Sara can see where this is going and she knows without a single doubt precisely what Ellie would say to her father right now, were she awake. But she’s not. Sara’s always had Ellie’s back. That’s not about to change now.

“They’re safer because of you, Uncle Oliver,” she tells him firmly. Her fingers unfurl and grip Ellie’s, seeking out solidarity, or maybe strength. She finds both. “All of us are. What you and the rest of the team do, we’re all better off for it. Ellie and Jules are both proud of you and so am I.”

He smiles at her, but he doesn’t look convinced. Even though he’s the one who brought it up, he’s obviously not keen to stay on the topic. “They’re both going to need to talk about what happened today,” he tells her. “Ideally, they’d go to a professional, but with what I do... I don’t know. Maybe ARGUS has someone. I’m willing to owe Amanda Waller a favor or two for this.”

“Either way, we'll all be there for them both,” Sara says. “For as long as it takes.”

“I appreciate that,” Oliver replies. “And they’ll need that, too, but I don’t know if that’s going to be enough.”

“Maybe Barry knows a therapist he trusts? They have all kinds of doctors and science type people,” Sara suggests. “Or maybe Big Sara knows someone? She sorta seems like she knows everyone.”

“Maybe,” Oliver says, though he doesn’t sound like his hopes are high. “Mental health isn’t exactly a priority with assassins.”

“That’s probably a major oversight on their part,” Sara advises dryly.

Oliver actually chuckles. It sounds rusty, but that she got him to do it at all makes her proud.

“It might be,” he agrees. “I’ll figure something out. I just don’t want to leave it to chance. Not this time. I shouldn’t have last time.”

When Jules was little. That’s what he means. The last time they’d helped her work through feeling like Ellie was somehow more important than her.

“This is different,” Sara tells him. It is, in so many ways, and it’s clear that Oliver knows that. The weight of responsibility sits so heavily on his shoulders that the strain is visible.

“Yeah,” he agrees on an exhale. “Yeah, it is.”

It seems like he’s resolved something with that statement, because he stands and leans over to kiss Ellie on her forehead. His lips linger against her skin like he’s trying to breathe his own strength into her. Sara’s not sure where he gets it from, at this point. Her Uncle Oliver has been to hell and back more times than she knows, but he has more stubborn willpower to keep putting one foot in front of the other than anyone else she’s ever met.

“I’m going to go sit with Jules for a bit,” he says, looking to Sara. “If anything changes, if she wakes up, please come get me right away?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you.” Oliver brushes Ellie’s hair from her temple before stepping back slightly. “I’m sure Felicity will be back just as soon as the doctors let her. And your parents.”

Now that he mentions it, her mom is taking an awfully long time to park. Sara pulls her cell phone out of her pocket and glances at it to find a text.

“Dad called her back to the lair,” Sara tells him. “Some reporter connected the dots about what happened to Ellie and Jules. He needed her on the computers to block it from getting out.” Oliver stands a little straighter at that, falling into Arrow mode on a dime. He’s so ready to fight for all of them. She wonders how often he forgets they all fight for him, too. “They’ve got it covered,” Sara assures him. “The story’s dead in the water and Mom’s erasing all traces of the photos some jerk snapped on their cell of you guys coming into the hospital. We’re cool. Dad’s already on his way back.”

It’s obvious he wants to make sure for himself, but the alertness slowly fades from his frame as her message sinks in. He’d trust her parents with his life, with his daughters’ lives, but he also tends to expect the worst whenever a crisis hits home.

“Good,” he says after a moment. “The girls don’t need that out there. Recovering is going to be hard enough, but if their classmates see pictures and the media starts speculating…”

“They were in a car accident,” Sara asserts firmly. “I was driving and the passenger side got hit. That’s how they got hurt. I got lucky. I’ll back them up. You don’t have to worry about that. We’ll keep the media out of it. I’ll text my mom to plant a police report and email our teachers.”

Maybe it’s the presence of an actual plan, something approaching a way to move forward, but Oliver looks more at ease than he has since she got here. Sara’s grateful to have some part in giving him that.

“Sara… thank you.”

“That’s what family does, Uncle Oliver,” she replies. Her fingers curl around Ellie’s like she’s trying to physically hold onto her place in her best friend’s life. “You never have to thank me for that.”

The smile he offers back in response actually touches his eyes and it feels like a privilege, today of all days, to be able to give him that. He rounds Ellie’s bed to reach Sara’s side and leans down to kiss the top of her head, too.

“We’re lucky to have you,” he tells her, squeezing her shoulder as she smiles up at him.

“I’ve got Ellie,” Sara promises.

“I know you do,” Oliver replies. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

With that, he heads to the door, but Sara has one more thing she can’t leave unsaid. “Uncle Oliver?” she ventures, as his hand lands on the door handle. He glances back at her. “We’re going to be okay. It might take a while and it might not be easy, but we’ll be fine because no one in this family will ever give up on either of them.”

He doesn’t reply in words, but the little nod of his head and the thin but genuine smile that graces his lips as he looks down to where she holds onto Ellie’s fingers like a lifeline feels like answer enough.

A moment later he’s gone, leaving Sara alone with Ellie.

The quiet that follows is unsettling.

Ellie is a lot of things, but silent has never been one of them. Forever bubbly and full of life, she draws attention to herself effortlessly, but this… it’s foreign. Oliver being there had been a bit of a buffer from how grave the situation really is, but with him gone, with just the sound of Ellie’s rhythmic breaths, it’s all suddenly a whole lot more real.

It’s terrifying.

Sara swallows hard, staring at her best friend. She can see how close it had been. She doesn’t need the grittier details to tell her that. The blonde’s pallor is all wrong and the bandages on her neck and her wrists are startlingly large.

It doesn’t matter, she decides, trying to force resolve into her own bones. They’d both lived. That’s what matters. They’re both going to be okay. She’ll get Ellie some pretty bracelets for Christmas, something to cover the visible scars. And she’ll be at her best friend’s side to help cope with the ones that can’t be seen.

“You sure know how to scare the hell out of us, don’t you?” Sara whispers. She keeps her voice quiet, even though she knows from the click of the IV that her friend has a fresh dose of some painkiller that will surely keep her asleep.

“I bet you were brave, though,” Sara adds, running her fingers along the back of Ellie’s knuckles. “Because that’s you, Ellie. You are so strong. You always have been. You won’t let this beat you, because you won’t give it that much power over who you are. As soon as your eyes open, you’ll be smiling back at me and laughing over something. I know it.”

Ellie sleeps on.

Sara swallows hard, rubbing her thumb across one of Ellie’s nails like a worry stone. An unsettling feeling washes over her as she wonders if she’s trying to reaffirm how Ellie will react or if she’s trying to convince herself. They’ve all been through a lot together, the kids of Team Arrow. Danger is far from foreign in their lives and they’ve all seen their parents hurt, sometimes severely. But this is different. This is Ellie and Sara can only venture a guess as to how her friend will cope.

But she needs this. She needs to believe it. She needs to say the words aloud and force herself to have faith in the truth of them. Because the alternative is unacceptable. The alternative means the bastard who took them won. And Sara’s unwilling to accept that.

Suddenly, holding onto Ellie’s hand isn’t enough. The hospital bed is small, but Sara’s not about to let that stop her. Sara lets go of Ellie’s hand and, very carefully so she doesn’t jostle Ellie too much, she climbs onto the bed. It’s a tight squeeze and Sara has to lay on her side facing the other girl. The guard rail digs into her back and Ellie’s elbow is jammed into her ribs, but Sara doesn’t mind.

This is exactly where she needs to be.

“You’ll be okay, Ellie,” she whispers. Tears sting at her eyes as she shuts them, blocking out reality for the moment while she presses her lips to Ellie’s temple. She reaches across the other girl to lace their fingers together. “You’ll be okay, I swear. I’m gonna be here. I’ll help you. You’ll be fine. You’re fine.”

She half expects Ellie to respond, to laugh and meet her eye with an answering, “Of course I’m fine, silly. I’ve got you!” But nothing happens and Sara chokes down a bit of a sob instead as her wrist brushes against the bandage on Ellie’s.

Ellie might be fine, but she almost wasn’t. They’d almost lost her. And the weight of what nearly happened settles over her, blanketing her in a suffocating what-if that steals her breath away. But, even asleep, Ellie’s presence helps. Her hair tickles at Sara’s nose and her scent washes over her, leaving Sara feeling more grounded, more at home. And the warmth of Ellie’s palm against hers, the rush of her breath against Sara’s collar, is proof enough that her best friend is alive, that she’s thriving in spite of everything. And she’ll keep thriving because Sara Diggle will not accept anything else.

“Thank you, Ellie,” Sara murmurs. “Thank you for being so strong. Thank you for not leaving me. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I don’t want to know.”

But that, too, is a quiet declaration that goes unheard as Ellie sleeps on. It’s fine. Sara will tell her all of this again later. She’ll be there for Ellie and for Jules however she can. There’s not even a question of that.

She scoots down slightly on the bed to rest her head gently against her best friend’s chest, soaking in the sound of the other girl’s steady heartbeat. It’s a constant thump that rings out in Sara’s ears, screaming of life and strength. It feels like that strength fortifies Sara, too. She shuts her eyes, savoring the sound, letting it wash over her and drown out everything else.

Until the door cracks open.

A spike of adrenaline clashes with a near-violent need to protect as Sara moves to face the intruder. It’s instinct that has her on edge. She’s ready to defend Ellie in an instant - or maybe to defend this insulated bubble between the two of them that she’s forged. Every inch of her is ready to fight. Her arm tightens around Ellie, probably more than it should, and every muscle she has coils, ready to spring.

But, as it turns out, it’s just her father at the door.

It still takes a second for that recognition to click and for Sara to stand down, but even then her heart pounds, the urge to shield her best friend not dissipating in the least.

Surprise washes across her dad’s face, but it melts away quickly. “It’s just me,” he assures her as she sits up and blinks, running her free hand through her hair.

“Sorry, I…” she starts, but she doesn’t know where to go with it.

“It’s been a rough day for everyone,” he fills in, shutting the door behind himself.

“Yeah,” Sara agrees. “I sorta think we might have a few more of those ahead of us.”

Her father hums in agreement and nods, but swiftly changes the topic. “She looks better.”

“She just needs time,” Sara says, looking back down at Ellie. “That’s all.”

“She’s gonna need you, too.” Her dad walks over, taking the seat Oliver had vacated earlier. His elbows rest on his knees as he leans forward and meets her eyes. “You know that, right?”

“I’ve got this,” Sara nods firmly.

“There’s more to this than just the kidnapping and being hurt,” her dad tells her. He’s doing his intense and knowing face, which is always makes it feel like he’s looking right through her. “She was saved by an older version of herself from another timeline. That’s a lot to feel like you need to live up to.”

“The only thing Ellie needs to be is herself,” Sara insists. “If she wants to follow in her dad’s footsteps and put on a mask, that’s fine. If not, that’s fine, too. I’ll have her back either way. She saw one possibility for her life. It’s not some kind of destiny.” Her dad nods, a tiny smile pulling at his lips. Sara glances at Ellie before looking at him once more. “But I’m pretty sure I’ve found mine.”

Her father visibly jerks at the declaration, and Sara can see the ‘no’ already on the tip of his tongue. It’s not the first time she’s implied an interest in taking a spot on the team, but it’s probably the clearest she’s been about it. Neither of her parents will be thrilled, but she’s also not about to back down. Seeing Ellie like this, so badly hurt, knowing it could have been even worse, that cements her resolve.

“What if it’d been Connor?” she asks. “What if it had been Nate? What if it had been some kid we didn’t even know? How can I sleep soundly knowing that I could be doing something to help people, but chose not to?”

“Sara,” her father says, shaking his head.

“I can’t turn a blind eye, Dad,” she tells him. “You and Mom raised me better than that. And I think we both know that Uncle Oliver and Aunt Felicity raised Ellie better than that, too.”

“This isn’t a decision you should make because you think Ellie’s going to need you suited up beside her, Sara,” her father tells her. His eyes are serious as he pins her with a knowing gaze, but he’s wrong. He’s wrong and deep inside he knows that, because she can see the fear behind his admonishment.

“If she wants to work nine-to-five and buy a place in the suburbs with a white picket fence, I will help her job hunt and paint accent walls,” Sara replies. “But that doesn’t change anything for me. I will still put on a mask and I will still help clean up the streets, because people who do live their lives like that deserve to feel safe.”

Her father sighs heavily and presses his fingertips against his eyes. It’s pretty obvious that she made the right argument, gave him reasons he couldn’t counter logically. Her father is a towering man, a pillar of infallible strength, but lately when he stops, when he lets everything catch up to him, he looks worn to her young eyes. He looks old.

Fifty-five seems ancient to her, at seventeen, and she has to ask herself how many more years he can keep fighting this never-ending battle. Two decades, he’s done this. Two decades he and Uncle Oliver have taken on the worst this city has to offer. But age and injury have taken their toll. Experience mostly makes up for that… so far. But they aren’t getting any younger and Sara is starkly aware of the fact that their mission becomes more and more dangerous to them with each passing year.

“We can talk about this later,” her father decides, sitting back in the chair. “This isn’t the time or the place for big decisions.”

“Sure,” Sara agrees readily. She’s stroking Ellie’s hand, she realizes all of a sudden. Her fingers falter - when had she started doing that? But it grounds her in a way she needs, so she keeps going. “But this isn’t a sudden choice and it’s not something I’m giving up on. We can wait until Christmas break to really start training and I’ll hold off until I’ve graduated to join the team on the streets.” She gazes at her dad. “But I’m set on this path.”

“No way in hell I’m putting a deadline on training,” her father counters. “You’ll wait until I say you’re ready before you’re out on the streets.” It take a second for his own words to register. She can see the moment they do because his face turns drawn and ashen on a dime.

It’s not ‘if’ she’ll join the team. It’s when.

And her father knows it.

Sara’s not sure if that’s more exciting or terrifying. It’s both, if she’s being honest. She has no illusions that she’s picking an easy life, but she also knows she’s picking the right path for herself.

But her thoughts on her future evaporate when Ellie suddenly inhales sharply.

“Ellie?” Sara asks, sitting up a little more, touching the side of her best friend’s face.

Terror and confusion pollute Ellie’s normally happy gaze when her eyes shoot open. It only takes an instant for her to realize where she is, who she’s with, but in that instant Ellie looks as primal and defensive as Sara has ever seen her, like an injured and cornered wild animal. She scrambles back against the head to the bed as both Sara and her father move to try and soothe her.

“It’s me,” Sara tells her, pulling back both hands and holding them up non-confrontationally. “You’re safe. You’re in the hospital and you’re safe. We’ve got you.”

“No one’s going to hurt you, Ellie,” Sara’s dad tells the injured girl. Sara looks with pleading eyes to find her father standing at Ellie’s side, using that same heavy gaze he’d pointed her direction earlier. “Take a second. Don’t push yourself.”

Everything seems to come back to Ellie in a rush because the primal nature of her fear shifts as Sara watches. The blonde’s eyes dart around the room, her hand flying to the bandage on her neck. She’s still utterly terrified, but it’s not for her own safety anymore.

It’s something else entirely.

“Ju’s?” Ellie rasps. She shouldn’t be trying to talk at all. It has to hurt like hell and she can’t even manage the whole of her sister’s name, but that’s beside the point to Ellie at the moment. Tears fill her eyes, her brow furrowing as she grabs onto Sara’s hand with surprising strength, everything about her pleading.

“She’s okay,” Sara tells her. Ellie lets out a little sob and falls back against the pillows. “Jules is fine. She’s in the room across the hall just because the doctors want to keep an eye on her. Your dad and Will are with her. The only thing she hurt was her wrists when she tried to get to you. She’s going to be okay.”

“No,” Ellie counters, shaking her head. Tears slip down her cheeks and she winces as she takes too big a gulp of air and strains the muscles of her neck. “Not ‘kay. Need Jul’s.”

“Don’t talk.” The command from her father is kind but firm as Sara looks to him for guidance. She feels so helpless right now. Seeing Ellie like this is hard. She’s so frightened, so battered, and Sara would do anything at all to bring her best friend’s easy-going smile back. But it’s not as simple as that. The world rarely is. “I’ll get your dad. I’ll get Jules, too, if she’s up and about, but you don’t move a muscle, Elizabeth. That means no talking, too. You got me?”

Ellie nods, a quick, nervous gesture that seems so out of place for her. The sight of her so small and so uncertain, makes Sara angry enough that she could scream. How dare someone do this to her? How could they make her shrink back in fear and hesitance?

Absently, Sara registers her father leaving, the door snicking shut behind him, but her focus remains on Ellie. Lost, sad, little Ellie who seems almost unrecognizable in an oversized hospital gown with her shoulders hunched and her eyes darting around the room like she’s looking for something.

She is, Sara realizes. She is looking for something. She’s looking for threats.

Sara wonders how long it will be until she stops searching the shadows around her, how long before she sleeps without nightmares. A long time. She’s certain of that much.

“He’s not here, Ellie,” Sara tells the other girl. Ellie jolts and looks to her. Their gaze locks together and Ellie waits, watching warily like Sara might have answers for her. Sara’s not sure she does, but she’s absolutely going to try. She takes Ellie’s hand and grips it harder than she should. Ellie’s nails dig into her palm, but the bite against her skin shifts reality into sharp relief and she relishes it. “He’s gone and he’s not coming back. Not for you or for Jules or for anyone else. I won’t allow it. So stop imagining that he won. Don’t give him that much power over you.”

Something like recognition slips across Ellie’s features, softening them and solidifying her resolve all at once. She gives a little nod before looking around again, but she’s not searching the darker recesses of the room for threats this time. No, she’s looking for something specific. And, a moment later her eyes brighten slightly as she reaches for her cell phone on the nightstand next to her bed.

“You’d better not be thinking about calling anyone,” Sara tells her dryly.

The look Ellie offers back is response is so very her that it feels like a bit of a triumph just to be able to bring that out in her today. Her lips curl up in a half-smile as she cocks her head and raises one eyebrow.

“You’re ridiculous,” she says without saying it.

A surge of near-blinding affection and relief shoots through Sara at the sight of it. But she doesn’t linger on that long because it becomes clear a second later, when Ellie lets go of her hand, that the injured girl is using her phone’s notepad as her voice and Sara is keen to see what she has to say.

Sara cranes her neck to try and get a look at the screen. She can’t quite get a glimpse, there’s a resounding glare. But it scarcely matters because a moment later Ellie flips around the phone so she can read it.

It’s just four words, but they make Sara’s breath catch in her throat because there’s no doubt to their meaning.

‘WE won’t let them.’

She looks from the tiny screen to Ellie’s face. All traces of that scared little girl are gone in the blink of an eye and settled in their place are the beginnings of a warrior, determined and unyielding. In this instant, Sara knows with complete certainty that the years to come will find them fighting side-by-side, shoulder-to-shoulder, making sure nothing like this happens ever again to anyone in Starling City. In this instant, the future is so clearly painted in front of her eyes, she feels like she could reach out and touch it.

“We won’t,” she agrees.

The sense of unity between them is so fierce, so solid that it’s startling, but the moment doesn’t last because an instant later, Ellie’s dad is bursting through the door looking as harried as Sara’s ever seen him. He’s a powerful man, always seeming larger than life when she was a child. Between him and Aunt Felicity and her parents, it seemed like they could beat anything, like the world ran according to their plans. Maybe it’s just that she’s lost the illusions of youth, but it doesn’t seem like that to her anymore.

“Ellie,” he breathes out, crossing the room in a few large strides to gather his daughter up in his arms. Sara backs off as he does, slipping off the bed. She feels a bit like an intruder at the moment, but Ellie drops her cellphone on her lap and grapples for Sara’s hand, securing her in place at the bedside. In spite of the way Ellie grips onto her hand, though, the girl’s entire being is honed in on her father. She clings to him like a lifeline and his face is buried in the crook of her neck as he breathes her in. “You’re okay, baby,” he whispers to her. “You’re gonna be okay. I should’ve been there. Should’ve known, been faster. I’m so sorry, Ellie.”

Sara blinks and looks away, trying to be less present in this very private moment. But even as she casts her gaze to the side, she can see Ellie shaking her head in dissent from the corner of her eye. It’s Jules that Sara’s looking directly at, though, the dark-haired girl standing blank-faced in the doorway, her arms wrapped around herself. Will’s a few steps into the room, grabbing the tablet hooked on the foot of Ellie’s bed and pulling up her chart, one hand resting on her ankle. Sara’s not sure if he’s taking her pulse or if he’s just trying to anchor himself in the reality that his little sister is here, that she’s recovering. Sara gets the need for that. She’s awfully glad that Ellie hadn’t let go of her hand. That connection feels vital right now.

“Not-” Ellie rasps out before her voice fails her and her whole face twists in pain. Her father backs off at that, but not by much. Just enough to look her in the eye.

“Don’t try to talk,” he orders her. Sara gets the feeling this is going to be a frequent command in the coming days. “Or, if you really have to, at least make it a whisper. Will, can you grab the doctor?”

“Yeah,” Will agrees, even as Ellie huffs in exasperation. He walks over and kisses her on the top of her head with a quiet, “I love you, Ellie-bug. You scared the hell out of me,” before heading out the door, gripping Jules hard on the shoulder and whispering something to her that Sara can’t hear as he goes. But Sara’s attention doesn’t stay with Jules for long because Ellie lets go of her hand to pick her phone back up and type out a message.

‘Not your fault,’ Ellie writes, holding her phone up to her dad with both eyebrows raised at him pointedly.

“We can talk about it later,” Oliver replies, with a thin smile that tells Sara he doesn’t believe Ellie’s words in the least.

It’s clear from the way Ellie’s lips twist that she’s not thrilled with his answer, but her gaze slips past him to settle on her sister and she immediately reaches a hand out toward the girl. Jules, however, makes no move to close the gap between them. She shifts uneasily instead, all wariness and apprehension.

‘Please,’ Ellie mouths at her sister. ‘Please, Jules.’

It seems like Jules is looking for some way to escape, but there’s nowhere to go. After what feels like an eternity, she takes a few hesitant steps toward her younger sister. The moment she’s within arm’s reach, Ellie grabs hold of her and pulls her in. Jules makes a choked noise that she tries to mask with a cough as she looks to her toes. But Ellie isn’t about to allow her so easy an escape.

The bed creaks as Ellie shifts, rises up and leans forward to press her lips to her sister’s forehead, letting go of her hand for a moment to hold both sides of the other girl’s face.

Jules shudders at the touch. “Ellie…” she rasps out, still staring at her own feet. She breathes out a hard sigh, working her jaw from side to side as she tries - and fails - to stave off tears. They drop one after the other straight onto the speckled linoleum floor.

Pulling back, Ellie makes the one gesture in sign language that virtually everyone seems to know. She presses her fingers in the ‘I love you’ sign against her sister’s chest, right over her heart, and it jars Jules enough that she looks up and meets Ellie’s eyes. Sara has to glance away from the sight. There’s too much raw pain there, too much longing and disbelief.

“He lied,” Ellie says in the quietest, most determined whisper Sara can even imagine. The sound of a wracked, muffled sob follows and Sara’s certain that Jules has covered her mouth in an attempt to cage the noise in. She can’t, though, and Jules has never dealt well with confrontation.

“Jules, honey,” Oliver’s saying. Sara can see him reaching for her, but Jules steps back from both of her family members.

“I’m sorry,” she chokes out. “I just… I have to go. I need some air. I’m… I’m really glad you’re okay, Ellie.”

“Julie, please don’t go,” her father pleads with her. “Not right now.”

“I won’t go far,” she promises, as if that’s the issue. “Just down the hall. It’s fine. I’m fine. Stay with Ellie. She’s the one who needs you right now. She’s where your focus should be. I’m okay.”

That’s the furthest thing from truth that Sara can imagine. Jules is obviously anything but ‘okay.’ She’s splintered and broken, her entire sense of self cracked right down the middle, but she’s also the sort of person who needs to process things on her own and her father knows that.

“There’s a balcony off the waiting area on this floor,” he tells her. “Get some air. I’ll find you in a bit.”

“You don’t have to,” Jules says immediately, her tone defensive and snappish.

“I want to, Jules,” he tells her softly. “You’re my daughter and I want to.”

Jules nods once, sharp and decisive, a total contrast to the way her eyes water and her lower lip quivers, and she bolts from the room without another word.

“Jules,” Ellie tries to call after her, but she can’t make her voice loud enough and her whole face twists in pain at the attempt. For all the effort she puts forth, Jules doesn’t even register her attempt.

“Don’t strain yourself,” Oliver tells her again. Sara wonders if he already feels like a broken record. “You’ve got a lot of healing ahead of you.”

“Yes,” Ellie agrees in a tiny voice, her gaze still lingering on the doorway her sister had disappeared through moments before. “We both do.”

The End

*

Thank you for reading! Reviews literally feed the soul and muse - go feed @so-caffeinated! 

[ddrkirbyisq]

Life has just been chugging along, it seems.  Nothing spectacular has been happening, but that's not a bad thing really at all.

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Crunchyroll Expo 2019 happened and I stopped by on Saturday to hang out, walk around, and go to some things that seemed interesting.  I got to go see the premiere of the first two episodes of Season 3 of Chihayafuru which actually ended up being a highlight of the entire thing, I had no idea I was going to enjoy it that much!  That moment near the end when _____ finished playing their match and thought to themselves _________ and the other member on their team suddenly realized _________, omg, that really really got to me for some reason.  So yeah, that was great!  Makes me want to rewatch the first two seasons at some point, especially to refresh my memory about all of the other more minor characters that I completely forgot about, haha...oh!  And I just remembered that there's a live action movie series as well...maybe I'll give that a watch too =X

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I bought and played through all of Mega Man 11!  I pulled the trigger after watching some reviews and such and since it was on sale on Steam.

I ended up enjoying it quite nicely!  It's a nice blend of old and new as far as Mega Man goes.  The thing with Mega Man is that the old tried and true formula is really just great at its core -- running and jumping and shooting.....more running and jumping and shooting....it's just good 2D platforming at its finest and I've always been a huge fan of it.  That said there ARE already a ton of classic Mega Man games out there, so as much as I'd love more games in the vein of Mega Man 9 and 10 (which were faithful to the NES series) (various fangames also exist, some of which I've played through), I will say that the fresh coat of paint that Mega Man 11 offers does make a lot of sense.

The graphics were pretty decent and I didn't mind the 2.5D much at all!  Unlike a certain other popular game pretty much everything was very readable -- just look at the screenshot above and how obvious it is that the yellow center pieces of each gear are in the foreground, while the rest of the gear is in the background.  One thing I thought looked a little odd were the "fuzziness" of the black outlines on the cel shading, but maybe I should chalk that up to me playing on a monitor with only 1280x1024 resolution?  Perhaps it looks better with a higher pixel density, but maybe rendering thin outlines is just not a strong point of the cel shaded look.

The bosses were pretty well designed -- they had a lot of personality, both in their animations and voice acting (I played only with the Japanese VA).

Maybe I was a bit biased after watching a video analyzing the level design, but I really did appreciate the designs of most of the stages and how they made for interesting progressions despite only using a few unique elements per stage.  It felt like they really made the most of many (perhaps not all, but many) of the different "gimmicks" they introduced in each stage, and that sort of clean, logical, and pleasant progression reminded me a little bit of Celeste.

The main "new mechanic" of MM11 is the "double gear system", which allows you to get a temporary limited boost to your power or slow down time for a bit.  It was an interesting concept, and actually played out pretty neatly in practice a few times -- those moments when you activate the both (double) gears at once for a last-ditch attempt to beat a miniboss and then finish the fight at low health.

However, one of my complaints about all of these "extra" 2D platforming abilities -- whether it be special weapons in mega man, additional items in shovel knight, or even magic spells in hollow knight -- is that they tend to provide a sort of frantic decision paralysis in the moment while you're in the middle of an intense fight or platforming section.

The issue is that platforming and jumping around and shooting and all of these things already occupies so much of your brainspace in terms of attention required, that it's really hard to also add in the double gear system and trying to use the different special weapons and all of those things.

Now that I'm writing about this, it really gets me thinking about 2D platformer ability design.  I know that other people might really enjoy switching between different weapons during the middle of a Mega Man level, but I've always found it to be cumbersome, and a weak point of the series for me personally -- I always Buster my way through most of the stages unless there's something particularly well suited for a particular weapon (e.g. a tricky room, a platform that I need to air-dash too, etc).

There are multiple reasons for this:

- Weapons have limited ammo available (whereas the mega buster has unlimited ammo), so you naturally want to conserve them for situations where you actually NEED them.

- In addition, the bosses at the end of each stage typically have a significant weakness to a single weapon, and you don't know what it is ahead of time.  Since the boss battle can be one of the most difficult parts of the entire stage, this incentivizes you to save all of your ammo for the boss.  Again, you don't know which weapon type you'll need, and frequently you'll need all of the ammo of that type to beat the boss.

- Switching weapons requires either opening up the menu -- which is awkward in terms of game flow -- or quick-toggling via the right analog stick or the shoulder buttons.  The right analog stick selection is actually great, but there aren't enough opportunities to really =practice= mapping each direction to a weapon in order for it to become second nature.  Because of this, switching weapons requires you to stop and think about which weapon you want to use, figure out which direction to press in order to switch, THEN go about using the weapon.

So even though I thought Mega Man 11's eight special weapons were GREAT in their variety and design (you could tell they each would be useful in very different cases), I didn't find myself using them much outside of boss and miniboss battles.

I know this is part of Mega Man's fundamental core design, so I don't really blame Capcom for not iterating on it, but I do wonder if perhaps a different mechanic for boss weapons would work a little better.

If you look at abilities in Metroidvania games, you'll see that they fall into two different groups:

Some abilities fit very naturally into gameplay and you find yourself using them again and again very naturally.

The most common way for abilities to fall into this category is for them to just be upgrades to your existing powers.  Get a main weapon upgrade?  You're automatically using it all the time.

Note that some abilities are not "direct" upgrades but natural and very obvious extensions of existing powers.  A doublejump ability, for example, is very straightforward to grok.  The speed booster upgrade in Super Metroid is the same way -- there's nothing complicated about how to activate it, you just keep running.

Another common way for abilities to fall into this category is for them to be required to be used very very commonly.  The morph ball in Metroid falls into this category -- you use it soooooo often that it becomes second nature for you to use it again and again and again.

Other abilities don't really become part of your regular rotation.  They're either too situational, difficult to use, have a cost associated with them, etc.

The X-Ray scope in super metroid sort of falls into this.  Not only does the X-Ray scope stop all of your momentum, but you often don't really =know= when and where you need to use it.  So oftentimes your only choice is to go through the entire world pausing every so often to x-ray scope......but nobody does that because that would take foreeevvverr.

Most of the attack spells in Hollow Knight tend to fall into this category.  Not only do they require mana to use (mana which could be used for healing instead!), but there aren't a lot of enemies where using a certain magic attack is required or even significantly recommended over just using your sword.

The good thing about the offensive spells in Hollow Knight, though, is that they're very easy to execute, like the special moves in the Smash Bros series: Button press gives you a fireball.  Up + button press gives you an upwards attack.  Down + button press gives you a dive.  Very intuitive.  So even though I never really ended up using most of these most of the time, they're still easy to remember.

Perhaps that's really the key -- the control scheme associated with the abilities.  The WORST way to add a new ability is to simply add a new button or key for every single ability you gain.  There are some games where at the end of the game literally every button on the controller performs a different action: Jump, Attack, Sprint, Dash, Glide, Special Move 1, Teleport, ....

So maybe =intuitive button combos= and =contextual actions= are the way to go.  That still doesn't fix the problem of having limited ammo though.

What about something like this?

Every time you beat a robot master, you unlock a new ability.  These abilities have various intuitive input commands, for example:

Jump + Attack (while in the air): Performs a mid-air forward dash with a sword slice.

Special button + no direction: Creates an energy shield around you that absorbs enemy projectiles.  The next time you press the special button, the shield fires in the direction that you are holding (or facing)

Special button + either side: Shoots a boomerang in the direction that you're facing.  It has some tracking ability, which means you can direct it upwards or downwards by jumping before or after the shot.

Special button + down: Sends an energy bolt downwards.  When it reaches the ground, it splits into two energy balls that travel along the ground until hitting an enemy.

Special button (while mega buster is fully charged): 

Button combinations and contextual actions are used to help your muscle memory instead of forcing the player to memorize the arbitrary position of each of 8 different weapons.

These abilities all draw from a =shared ammo pool=, encouraging you to choose the ability that best fits the situation.

The shared ammo pool replenishes every time you die.  Normally Mega Man weapons encourage you to AVOID using them carelessly, because if you use up ammo on a boss and then die, you're left in a worse situation than you started with -- having to face the same boss battle, but with less ammo available.

In addition, the shared ammo pool also replenishes through normal gameplay, via something like:

- Gradual replenishment over time

- Replenishes with each enemy destroyed

- Replenishes via random pickups from enemies and scattered around the level.  There's also a large pickup before each boss.

The point is to encourage the regular use of these weapons as the situation demands, rather than incentivize saving ammo for the very end.  You need the player to become comfortable with using each of these abilities and the only way to really do this is to incentivize them to use them repeatedly.

So I dunno, maybe that's not a perfect solution.  But I do feel like there is a lot of room for experimentation and iteration here.

One thing that Mega Man 11 DID do right was giving rush coil/rush jet it's own button.  Woo!!!

=====

Have been continuing to drill puyo transitions -- I've gotten sort of comfortable with the sandwich transition and am now trying to wrap my head around GTR.  Building the GTR core is ok, but I find myself having trouble finding the right forms to work on both the first and second floor simultaneously with GTR since it's only 3 tall and I don't yet have a handle on managing color conflicts.