#also. it's 6 am. I haven't slept. awesome! :)))

[running-in-the-dark]

I've been looking at job listings for like two hours and I feel more useless and stupid than ever before.

[euclydya]

For the song asks 11, 28, and one of your your choice!

We'll also give you a favourite lyric too from each song cuz why not lmao

11: A song that you never get tired of - Hmm... Sleep by My Chemical Romance. This song's extremely important to us, and though we don't listen to it often due to a lot of shit associated with it (it's one of Those Songs ya gotta be in the right Mood for, to us) when we listen to it we'll absolutely never get tired of it. It's gotten us through a lot over the years tbh!

Favourite lyric: The hardest part's the awful things that I've seen

28: A song by an artist with a voice that you love - You'll get two answers for this one since we can't decide, so, firstly we have Alone With My Thoughts by Chonny Jash! Not the first CJ song I was gonna choose but the one I had in mind (Be Born) doesn't actually showcase his Real Voice lmao. We May Still Be Biased™ but Chonny's got a great singing voice imo. I'd say more but it is nearly 6 am and we haven't slept yet ajsjdjsksjdjsjd

Favourite lyric: This will be my final entry

I'm tired, I'm done, I'm empty

My spirit's all but left me

The end of the universe doesn't impress me

Second, we have Geek U.S.A by The Smashing Pumpkins! Sayyyyy what you will about Mr. William Corgan's Voice™ but the high pitched whininess really fits TSP's sound imo. His vocals are,, unique I think in that Whooo the fuck else sounds like that lmao. He most certainly Sounds Like A Rat In A Cage™ and it's awesome actually. Synesthesia-wise his voice can make any song sound pastel as fuck (Very Good) unless it's drowned out by some loud ass guitar, which they do sometimes FHDJSJFJ

Favourite lyric: And then I knew we'd been forsaken,

expelled from paradise

I can't believe them when they say that it's alright

3: A song that reminds you of summertime - She's A Handsome Woman by Panic! At the Disco! The whole album this is off of is a huge Summer album for us actually! But this song in particular always gave off Summer vibes a bit more than the others, I dunno why. We have a lotta good memories associated with this song; going out to parks and fishing with our family, staying outside all day on swing sets singing along to our favourite songs with our siblings... Fun times! We miss em tbh. Haven't done any of that shit in years fhdjsjdjf

Favourite lyric: Beat backbones

Grazed the poem and made it strange

I wasn't born to be a skeleton!

[pandor-pandorkful]

Man, it's not fair...

I sleep so much better if I do the "adhd meds when you go to bed" trick*, and wake up nice and early. And during the day it still keeps me fairly functional - much moreso than if I hadn't taken my meds at all.

(*Read about it in an online adhd medical journal back around 2018, the article was titled something like "ADHD Sleep of the Dead" and was about how impossible it is for adhd folks to fucking wake up ever. Great article!)

Buuuuuut, if I go to sleep normally, and wake up like whenever my body decides to wake up (90% after 3pm tbh).... and THEN take my meds during the DAY, like a GOOD Pandor.... My functioning is off the charts. I can function executively at least twice! Maybe 3 times!!

HOWEVER THERE IS THE MATTER OF SLEEP QUALITY.

Normal sleep, no meds: TERRIBLE. Takes me AGES to fall asleep. And THEN it takes EVEN LONGER to wake up!!! Alarms don't help, because I haven't taken my meds so I have 0 executive functions and no self control over just turning the alarm off and going back to sleep.

Meds before sleep: AMAZING. Fall asleep quickly and have awesome, vivid dreams! And I wake up early! Maybe too early! I only get 3 to 5 hours of sleep if I do this!!!! If I do it too many days in a row I burn out quickly!!!!!! But damnit it's so much better than the alternative!!! GAH!!!!!

One 3rd option I've tried twice by accident is having coffee before bed... by which I mean I had a coffee craving in the evening and it knocked me out cold. Both times I slept a good doctor-recommended 8 hours, and got up easily...... BUT THE DREAMS WERE SO STRESSFUL!!! (Also both times I had the coffee at around 6-7pm, so while I got a "healthy" amount of sleep.... I was waking up in the middle of the night, ready and raring to go. XD)

SO, it's almost 3 am now. I had a great day due to taking my meds the way I should, in the morning. (Not early morning, but we do what we can manage.) Those are the 3 choices before me: Sleep without my meds and wake up in the afternoon. Take my meds now, but have less energy later. Or make a cup of coffee, quaff it and sleep (but likely have some nightmares or stress dreams.)

........I'm gonna chance the coffee.

[i-turn-characters-2-warrior-cats]

Hello! This is a bit unusual, but as I am also going through pain (I am going to fight whoever came up with evolution), I decided to work on my own idea for a character! (don't worry, I haven't forgotten those in the inbox!)

SCP-055 and SCP-4205, the Self-Keeping Secret and "In the Eyes of the Beholder".

I know that many of you may not know what SCP-4205 is, and I encourage you to read the article!

"SCP-4205" by Woedenaz, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4205. Licensed under CC-BY-SA.

I looked through a list of potential suffixes for SCP-055, (I already found the prefix Fog sufficient, he puts a fog over the mind and a fog over the eyes), and I was able to find one that I think fits well!

Fogsnare! "Snare" commonly has one definition, but there's another one that I think fits well with them being one of the Broken Stars! "

"a length of wire, gut, or hide stretched across a drumhead to produce a rattling sound"

Sufficiently gory, right? And for 4205, we have Shadowglow! "Shadow" in reference to the recorded footage in his article, and "glow" in reference to his eyes!

For the story, I think Fogkit and Shadowkit were born in IceClan! Fogsnare's mother kept the father a secret, and was allowed to, but passed away during the birth. Shadowkit was born to a medicine cat and a warrior. The medicine cat refused to be near him, claiming that Shadowkit was "a kit born of the darkest hell", while the warrior cared somewhat, but wasn't really around. This caused some major issues, that by the time they were rectified by the deputy literally stepping in to act as a parent, gave Shadowkit some problems in life, and what we would call RAD (reactive attachment disorder).

I would like to take this time to say that even without his RAD, Shadowglow would've ended up the way he did. His best friend and crush's dad is the WC Scarlet King, and he has killing people powers. This disorder is not related to the murders, it manifests in other ways.

It was when the pair was apprentice aged that their powers struck. It was Fogpaw first, running into the snow after being terrified by how nobody seemed to remember them, and then it was Shadowpaw's turn!

6 dead and then he went missing. Fogpaw stumbled into Shadowpaw, who was confused about why looking in his eyes didn't kill this new cat that he had never seen before.

To answer his question and probably yours as well, Fogpaw was forgotten by Whisperpaw's powers too.

Meanwhile Fogpaw: ":'("

So, after a long conversation, they found shelter in a small crevice and slept there that night.

Fogpaw dreamt themself into the Dark Forest, meeting his father for the first time, and their siblings! His dear old dad (derogatory) offered them a deal, since Fogpaw didn't really want to cause the destruction of the clans.

If Fogpaw sided with him, he would assist Fogpaw in unlocking his full potential AND give Shadowpaw the same ability all cats of his blood have. Immunities to each others powers. (For example, if Wrathscale accidentally goes to a certain someone's section of the Dark Forest, his skin won't melt off and all he'll do is complain.)

Fogpaw took the deal, and their dad gathered their 5 siblings in the Dark Forest and gave him a name. Fogsnare.

While Shadowpaw woke up and went "my great great great uncle (Twistedmask is making himself the god of evil gay relationships istg) visited my dreams! he's really funny! hey, i remember you now!" And Fogsnare went "my dad is evil and i have a new name and im gonna have to destroy the world"

And then Shadowpaw went "new name? awesome! can i have a new name?"

And that's how Fogsnare and Shadowglow became a murder duo! Fogsnare's dad pops into their dreams from time to time, going "hey can you do this for me. not asking."

They live in the more treacherous and obscure parts of IceClan territory, staying away from any contact with the clans other than when they get voluntold to do something. Shadowglow goes along because Fogsnare is his closest and only friend and crush, and he doesn't exactly mind the death, due to MANY, many things, including Twistedmask.

To wrap it up, here are the designs!

Fogsnare.

And Shadowglow! The patterning and scars are almost all from the Rooted Clans greatest dad......

That's all-....

....

What was I talking about again?

[nathank77]

4/29/24

6:

So l struggled to fall asleep, I took one 25MG of Hydroxyzine, and one 25MG of Benadryl around 9 a.m, I passed out rapidly. I woke up around 3:30 p.m. I slept straight through. I only got like 6 1/2 hours...

Erin canceled again...if only Erin told me she was going to cancel earlier instead of at our appt time... I could have fallen back to sleep and got 7 hours. I see her Thursday. I'm going to the ultrasound tomorrow. I'm taking a 1MG tonight around 4:30 a.m. so I can make it there by 4 p.m with a full bladder.

The cardiologist has been trying to fit me in, calling me everyday, that's a good thing. I am seeing the doctor on May 6th, at 3 p.m. so that's awesome. Minus the fact that it's the same week as my testosterone shot, so I'll have to take a 1MG Monday and Wednesday to make both appts but whatever.

The following week I have my insomnia appt at 3 p.m on Tuesday and then my disability appt on Friday at 1:30 p.m. so I have to take a 1MG Tuesday and Friday that week.

I'm worried about it but the appts are majorly important and I'm sure once I get the heart monitor I'll be seen within a couple weeks after, for the diagnosis....

Anyways, I'm doing my bedding today and I'm going to try to do all my laundry, it piled up fast but the bedding comes first.

I also ordered 2 more 30 pack gummies of the CBD. I've been taking 100MG a day. I haven't noticed much of a difference but it's early and it builds ups.

I am not going to shower today, I did technically at 4:30 a.m anyways. Also-the Ultrasound is going to make me all nasty tomorrow. So I'll shower when I come home tomorrow.

I fucking hate laundry day. I'm going to try to game and if it doesn't work out, I'm going to watch American Dad. I'm going to try to restore my cloud saves.

I guess I'm going to proceed on my Kristen Report as of Wednesday or Thursday. Regardless of Erin bc I have no choice cause I've been sitting on it for too long and in traumatized.

I really need therapy after that dream and everything I'm going through and Erin had canceled like 4 times in a row. I guess I'm going this alone and I only have Mike on Wednesday if she cancels Thursday.

[may-we-be-peaceful]

Saturday 31/12/22

1. Slept pretty well last night but also got up when the cat got me up, which was about 7am.

2. Got a trip out to a mall I haven't been to in forever! Saw some awesome Doc Martens lol. Bought some heel grips/protectors for my DMs, though maybe should have got Compeed instead tbh.

3. Got a hedgehog mug as well, and some face mist, chocolates, and Hotel Chocolat perfume reduced from like £32 to £8. The face mist smells really nice and was reduced from £15 to about £4.50 so, y'know.

4. Been trying to buy second hand PIP postage boxes but can't seem to, so am hoping to buy 100% recycled next time, though can't afford it right now as had to replenish a lot of essential oils, butters etc.

5. Erm, PJs!

6. Oh and I had my first ever bubble tea today! I got taro milk tea with tapioca pearls. Unsure whether it actually had any tea in it, but it was nice. Though I was a bit shocked when I checked the calorie content later. I'd have it again but maybe a fruity version. The tapioca pearls were so texturally satisfying once I'd got past the weirdness lol.

[crispy-kitten-princess]

I don't have hcs BUT I WANNA COME UP W/ SMTH RN so (it's 6 am and I haven't slept shit after work that ended at midnight so I'm here insane)

Okay

- Gwenda wears african braids, Tamara loves casual braids!! That's cute matching haircuts! I wonder if they switched their styles one day or smth. Also i have an idea they might both cut their hair either very short (pixie) or bold lol. Just to see how it looks. I think they both would look gorgeous

- Gwenda is a new member of their team, so Tamara would've either gatekeep the Story (and give it by smaaall pieces of info to keep Gwenda in suspense) or tell it as it was told in the series, from the same pov, cause she's dramatic. Also it would be awesome to read the series from Tamaras pov. Gwenda IS in suspense and excited to hear every detail. Tamara is gentle to Calls feelings, for this reason she asks him is it okay to tell, asks about everything

- Gwenda dumped Jasper ofc

- Tamara liked Gwenda from the very beginning of the Iron Year, she was just too busy with all the Captain Fishface situation

- Gwenmara have a strong fashion sense (leaning towards kidcore and bright colours) therefore they look stunning at every event

- They share a favourite colour, and it is yellow

- In Collegium, Gwenda doodles Tamara on her studing notes

- They have a photo where Celia helped them to braid their hair into one braid yk that 2016 BFF photos/art vibe

- They are LOUD and noisy, they laugh and argue a lot, thus they were asked to move to separate room in Collegium dorm. And they went completely fine by it

- During Collegium, Tamara, Gwenda, Call and Aaron often settled a camping for 3-7 days, and there, in the dark woods, by the campfire, Tamara narrated the most tragic and scary moments of their adventures to startle Gwenda. But she won't, as she got used to it already

- They both have bright and energetic personalities, therefore they would often pick up a fight, or shout at each other, or argue over small subjects. Tamara was in kinda sorta relationship w/ Call, who's way more chill (not considering his dark side), so she's used to talking though all problems, and she teaches Gwenda all these relationship techniques

Idk i just wrote everything that came to my mind <3 hope you like it

Do you have any Gwenda x Tamara (what’s their ship name?) headcannons? I saw your art of them the other day, and now they’re on my mind.

at the moment? i do not 😭 i really started shipping them for the Vibes and the tension between them i sort of picked up on TGT but. yea. again keep an eye on this post because i’ll come back to it

[pbandjesse]

My whole body and legs are aching so bad. I know I don't walk as much as I used to but man. It's ridiculous how much all the walking today took me out.

It was a very good day though!! It was full and fun and just so good. I slept alright. And woke up in a good mood. James made the bed and watered the plants while I got dressed and very soon we were leaving for work together.

It was fun being back at the museum for real. Like yes I've been around but I haven't given a tour in months. And today was good. I only gave a partial tour but it was still a lot of fun.

We stopped and picked up breakfast and I didn't check and was very disappointed when I went to eat my sandwich later and it was just meat in an English muffin. Like I ate the muffin stuff but I was bummed.

But everything else was good. I would give my partial tour, to a very nice woman who just started working at the Walters. And she was great. Lots of questions and while I wasn't able to give a perfect answer every time, but she was fun to talk too.

It wasn't a busy day and no one else would ask for a tour. I would wander around and take to people. And turn on machines. I also just went around and found all the light bulbs that needed to be changed and found some issues (like two buckets of water just sitting in the blacksmith area, probably used for quenching but Bob isn't going to be here for 8 weeks so this just seemed like a bad idea) and that felt productive.

I was also proud of myself for finished my book today! The one I was reading the other week and it had like a very sad but hopeful ending. Like yes people die, things change, but the world keeps going and there is still good in it. And that was nice. I for sure would have made some changes about certain things but overall I really liked it. I am looking forward to starting the next book on my list though. Something less romantic.

I would give James a little break and they went to get us lunch since my sandwich didn't work out. I chatted with Jessica about the upcoming school year. I'm excited to be back.

We did have one guest today who James did not want to connect with people they kept referring to Baltimore as a 'dead city ' and that upset that. But a couple came in and James was able to have a whole conversation in Spanish with them and that brightened them up.

We finished up the day and headed out. Jessica and Beth were leaving just as we were and they hoped we would have fun at the state fair. And while I was a little worried about being hot, I was really excited to go.

We drove home and cleaned up. I found our metro cards for the train and finally activated my new credit card. That I've had for 6 months. I have tap now! Neat!

And then we were off. We got confused and missed the first train. But the other came really quick. And we rode it until the last stop at the fairgrounds.

We got there just as it opened at 5. I had been worried about coming on Thursday but for real this was the best time to go?? No lines!! At all! We could walk around and see everything and no one was crowding around. It was awesome. Like yes I was a little to hot but I had the best time.

Highlights: I got to pet piglets! The mommy pig was also sweet and let me pet her snoot. We got to see some piggy races. We ate good food. James got a corn dog and fried tomatoes, I got a grilled cheese that had local made ingredients. We shared a root bear. I loved seeing the flowers and the hand made items. And I spoke to a woman who was sitting there tatting and she said they are going to add loom knitting into the fair next year and I could submit my temperature blanket. And she also encouraged me to keep practicing tatting. I may submit a whole bunch of stuff, or spend next year making stuff for the next year's fair just to have a goal. I also noticed there were teddy bears but they all had the same tight together eye look and I was like. Why do they all look like this? Maybe I'll enter a bear as well. I'm excited by this new prospect.

I really loved getting to go in the parakeet cage and having all the birds flying around me. And James found a whole display about the negro baseball leagues in Baltimore. While they were reading that I went and looked at the balloon display and talk the the Catholics because they were giving away prayer cards. So I told them about my dad and asked for something that would help bring my parents comfort in a hard time. And she suggested the untier of knots, which is Mary and I always liked Mary even if I don't have the like MOM connection some people seem too. And really dad can use any help he can get at this point.

We would wander around and laugh at stuff and see animals and it was great. But I was starting to lose steam because my feet hurt real bad and I had been in the sun to long. So James took me home.

We got the train almost right away. The walk home from the stop was tough but we made it without me falling apart. And I would take a shower and that helped me a lot. I didn't feel as much like I was going to fall down. James rubbed my legs and got the knit out of my calf. And I hope putting my legs up help them feel better for tomorrow.

I had a leftover piece of pizza and James got down some of our Halloween decorations. And now I have a pumpkin build a bear. And I am very much ready to go to sleep.

Tomorrow I have jury duty. I'm excited. I hope it's an interesting day. And I hope you all have a good night. Take care of yourself. Sleep good!!

[purplethistle42]

Sometimes you take a beautiful thing and make it your own, adding to magic that was already left by the first craftsman that made the object... And sometimes you pull your car over, pick through someone's discarded trash, and decide you're going to save an item that doesn't just need a face lift, but also a major organ replacement...

(( disclaimer: this post is longish and written in the middle of the night while I can't sleep. Basically I made (am making) a thing, it's weird and awesome))

Introducing my current project!

I found this jewelry cabinet, it wasn't actually in the trash... But it should have been... I actually paid a little money for it... Still not sure how I feel about that, mostly ok, but It really should have been in the trash pile. It was, and still is, in horrible shape. the doors on the front didn't open or close right, they have been removed completely. Also, at some point it got knocked and broken enough that all the shelves don't sit on their runners correctly, they fall off, a lot... But it fixable, at least enough for my purposes... Then there is the smell. I'm pretty sure this baby lived in someone's chain-smoking great grandmother's house because every time I touched it that first day it tried to sell me cigarettes and kiss me on the cheek.

However, This trash bit, for all her smelly history and issues she has stolen my heart, just like a chain-smoking grandma who tells awkward, inappropriately timed storys, my life is more fulfilled now that I can interact with her. she ( the jewelry cabinet, not the hypothetical gramma) was destined to live a second life in my workshop, being touched every day with sawdust covered hands, to assist me in my making by holding my sandpaper, my drill bits, my wood lathe tools...

I'm not done with her. In truth, I just got her Saturday.but some projects are exciting and you just have to share as you go... Saturday, I lugged her outside and she slept on the porch in hopes the air would curb the smell... It was a nice dream, she came back in yesterday the same 6 pack a day smoker I took outside... I wish I had taken a picture of the rag I used to wash the fake wood with... That rag just got thrown away...

However, after her bath and in true American style, since there are both major foundational issues and cosmetic issues, I spent all of yesterday puting on her lipstick. I mean who actually need shelves that work right if it's pretty😍. The structural fixes will happen this week when I drag her out to my actual shop.

I had 0 plans... I mean, I knew that it was really bad and that I didn't really want to look at the super sad thing I had spent money on as it was and feels that empty void of despair... But beyond that this project was sooo outside my normal art zone because it's some weird fake veener with mdf board inside... The shit that's basically saw dust, glue and prayer, that stuff that when you get it wet it swells... Yea, it's been a while since I put my hands on anything that's going to swell if I sweat too hard near it...

So, I said what the hell and went back to the tried and true idea of everything is better with more glue on it. Glue will stabilize it, seal it from additional moisture damage and I haven't decoupage in ages so why the hell not!

So out came the drawers, and in came the gallon of mod podge I had sitting around... Cause who doesn't have a gallon of that shit just hanging out... Am I right... Or is that just me... Someone? Anyone? This is normal right...

Then came the issue of what I was going to glue onto the sucker... Cause again I have 0 good ideas or a plan... But one of my kids said I should go mermaid with it because the base and doors had shell patterns... And that was a good an idea as any so I spent like an hour looking at mermaid art and scales, then more time cutting circles from tissue paper... To not use the idea at all.. cause that's how I roll. But I did end up using the tissue paper and the trash bits from where I cut out the mermaid circles to make some bright late 80 early 90s pop of color piece.

And it's at this point that the magic has starts flowing... That energy that builds when you're deep into the primal feeling of being a kid with your fingers covered in glue just making for the hell of it, without purpose or goal, just to feel and be one with the mess...

And drawers

Even my cat got into the flow and battled back the bits of stray paper that dared to land on her floor

And it's at this point that I know where I want to go with it... And I find some artwork and print it out, splice it together, cover it with more technicolored tissue paper,

then pull out my markers and redraw the artwork. I didn't really take pictures of that process, I was in the zone, my inner kid was fully engaged with sticky fingers and sharpy markers. Here's, what she looked like after the added color

And the "finished product"

There is going to be a part two, of this great adventure... One where I actually make her stable, add holders for drill bits and Dremel and sand paper... But that will be next week... Maybe... Life and things... But when I can I will take shots of her in her new home next to my wood lathe... Thanks for coming with me through this adventure!

[stevenstamkos]

hey, sorry to bother you, i was just wondering if you've ever come across any primers for the lightning? if you haven't, or if you don't mind, i'd love to hear anything you'd like to share about them. they seem like a rad team, and like, at first i was just like "well stamkos is awesome and, as a team sweden fan, god bless hedman" but i am weak and curious, and requesting information. thank you for any help you may offer!

Yeah there are some primers! Unfortunately, with the loss of Jo, Bish, Val, and Boyler, our roster has changed a lot. So most 2016-2017 primers are out of date. As it stands, I think there’s this one. And probably some others, but I can’t remember how to find them

Oooh so I guess I’ll add some info on players not covered

First, it is vital that you know that Stammer and Heddy are good friends, and their dogs are friends too. They were drafted a year apart, first and second overall, and they’ve been the backbone of our team in recent years (when Stammer is, y’know, alive). Part of the reason they signed long-term contracts was to stay in Tampa for each other

Goalies:

The primer covers Bish, but our starter is now Andrei Vasilevskiy, our beautiful young Siberian tiger. He loves Bish a lot and he’s generally very lovable. Exceedingly hard on himself, always looks very soft, sometimes a little awkward. Everything he does is very adorable. We’d all die for Vasy probs

We got Peter Budaj from LA, and we’re keeping him, it seems. He’s a good backup and his family is very cute. Uh, we’ve only had him since the trade deadline so I’m not 100% certain on the deets, but I like him

Forwards:

Last season when everyone was injured, our 1C ended up being our rookie, 21-year-old Brayden Point. Our werewolf son, tries hard, good brows. Played for Team Canada in the 2016 WJCs and the 2017 World Champs. So earnest and happy to be here. Pointer was a very pleasant surprise this past season. More on him here, though it’s fairly outdated

Rounding out the Triplets (we have TyJo and Kuch already in the primer), we have Czech angel Ondrej Palat. He loves to jump. He and TyJo are bffs and have the same breed of dog. He’s always dragging TyJo on instagram. Very cute, 10/10 would hug Pally

Another forward is Cedric Paquette, who is slept on despite the fact that he’s beautiful. His eyebrows are magnificent. He’s our fourth line center (probably) and a very feisty French Canadian

Nikita Kucherov was mentioned in the primer, but as he’s my #1 hockey man, I feel the need to give you way more info about him than you’ll ever need. Hence, part 1 and part 2

Uhh so a slightly controversial figure is Alex Killorn. Killer is a funny guy and a smart guy. He’s also making a ton of money and we’d like if he produced more, or if Coop would just stop putting him in the top 6 when he’s under-producing, thanks. Other than that, a literal meme. He’s scared of everything (among them: haunted houses and driving fast)

Oh and I gotta mention that Vladislav Namestnikov is the champion of Bolts creeping, which is a team-honored tradition where players creep in the backgrounds of their teammates’ postgames

Defense:

Listen when is Slater Koekkoek going to be freed from the AHL. That boy needs to be in the NHL already. He’s probably our best defensive prospect and kind of a goof but in that amazing way where he’s not afraid to go out and be funny. You might’ve seen the prominent role he played in some lip sync videos

We have Heddy and Stralsy already in the primer, but I’m gonna just take a second to talk about Stralsy. Anton Stralman is Team Dad. He has like 12 kids (actually 4) and he’s the senior half of our Swedish D duo. We love and support our father Stralsy

Our tall giraffe son is Andrej Sustr. He’s uh. Tall. I’m not really sure what else he’s doing out there but I’m sure he’s trying

Brayden Coburn seems to get overlooked a lot (my bad, I’m part of the problem) but he has sweet curls and is a nice vet. I feel like you gotta ask @misharoux about him though bc I can’t do him justice

Prospects:

THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART. I’ve been following the Lightning prospects for a while now and I have all sorts of feelings about them. I’ll make it quick though

We have an amazing crop of forwards in Taylor Raddysh and Anthony Cirelli from the Erie Otters. They were instrumental to the Otters winning the 2017 J. Ross Robertson Cup (OHL Championship). And of course my Q boy Mathieu Joseph of the Saint John Sea Dogs. And one of my absolute faves, Mitchell Stephens. And sort of rounding out our CHL core are Brett Howden and Dennis Yan. There are more but I just don’t know them that well

We drafted in 2017 the very tall, darling Cal Foote, shoring up our blue line. And from the summer trade of Jo, we got Mikhail Sergachev, previously Montreal’s 2016 first round pick, and now all ours

And in goal we have absolute goofball Connor Ingram, who is hilarious. Okay you might wanna search #AskIngram on twitter

Others:

So we just got Chris Kunitz and Dan Giardi. I’m sure some Pens and Rags fans know more about them. And we’ve got a good bunch of guys in the AHL in Syracuse, who we saw last season bc lbr last season we were Tampacuse due to all the injuries. Some of those guys were like, Jake Dotchin, Yanni Gourde, Cory Conacher, Michael Bournival, and Adam Erne

[katiecomma]

Book Review - One Last Stop

I would like to start this review by saying this: these words are entirely my opinion. This is a review of a piece of writing that is based on my opinions and experiences and feelings. That being said, if this book made you feel represented, if you related to the characters, if you loved this book my opinions do not invalidate any of that. We are looking at this from different minds and different perspectives and different life experiences. Which is one of the most wonderful things about art: the interpretation. So, you are still represented and relatable and loved no matter how I feel or what I have to say.

On to the review. I'm going to put it below the cut, because it is CHOCK FULL of spoilers. So if you don't want to be spoiled do not continue.

I will also say, this is not a super positive review. I didn't love this book. I didn't even really like it very much.

I'm going to divide this into talking points.

1. The New York Trope

I hate hate HATE the New York Trope. Again, this is a personal thing that's specific to me. It's not to say it's a bad trope, it's just one that I'm SO SO SOOOOO tired of. I hate the idea of someone who could never find a place ANYWHERE else no matter where they've tried to go, making their way to New York where they believe they will finally belong. And then magically, even though they're a loser or an outcast or whatever... they do! They awkwardly stumble into the perfect little found family of weird people that so perfectly suits them it's like where they were made to be. I hate it. Again, this is personal. And it may just be lingering bitterness, but I moved from a small town to the big city and found it almost IMPOSSIBLE to make friends. Those cool people that you wish you were friends with, already have their own groups of friends and they don't often just adopt random new people that they don't really know and make them "part of the family." Yes, I know... I'm bitter. It's fine. See? This is the personal experience swaying my opinions that I was talking about. In addition to having that personal opinion of the trope, I'm just kind of tired of it. I feel like the New York Trope has been very overdone.

2. Forced Trans Rep

I was excited for the trans rep in this book. Afterall, it starts at the very beginning of the very first chapter when August answers a roommate ad that states: "Must be queer & trans friendly." I was like: awesome! I am so on board for this! LET'S GO!

I feel the need to break here to say that I love Niko. He is amazing. And I love his character.

Ok... so, the ad specifically states trans friendly. It breaks trans out from queer, which suggests that someone within the apartment is trans. We meet the three roommates: Niko, Myla and Wes... and nobody mentions the trans thing again. Which is awesome. I'm still on board this rep train. We are led to believe one of the roommates is trans. And we don't need to know which one. Why do we need to know? It doesn't matter. The representation is there, in my opinion.

And then the awkward scene I didn't like. There are baby/kids pictures of all the roommates all over the fridge. August recognizes everyone except a little girl who only looks a little familiar, wearing a princess dress at Disneyland and making a grumpy face. August asks who it is. Niko, very casually goes: "Oh, that's me." At which point August has some internal dialogue that felt very much to me like: Ok, I thought there was something off about him, he's not really a normal guy. That's a paraphrase... but that was the vibe I got. I sent it to a few other people who confirmed that I'm not crazy, it vibes that way. So... in addition to this scene feeling forced to "out" the trans person in the apartment (which felt SOOO unnecessary since the ad let us know there was a trans person in residence), August's reaction came across as accepting, but not feeling like Niko was a normal guy. Which... I really didn't like. It made me not like August at ALL, who is the main character.

The whole thing just felt really unnecessary to me. Especially when there's a scene later on that does it better! There's a scene later where August is asking Niko about his psychic abilities and she goes: when did you know?... and Niko replies: "That I was trans?"... and August waves it off and goes: "No, that you were psychic." That in my opinion would have been a way better reveal moment. It doesn't seem forced, and August waves it off like it's no big deal.

I may be crazy... but that drove me a little nuts. And really made me dislike August. I understand it's important to point out that everyone could have a little bias buried in them still, and it's important to overcome that... but I really didn't need anything to make me dislike August more... which leads into my next point.

3. August Is An Asshole

Yes, I understand there are assholes in the world.

Yes, I understand that they are redeemable.

But I did not like August for most of this book.

I understand that part of it is supposed to be her defensiveness... and her want to be a loner.

But August is an unapologetic asshole and says dickhead things to the people who are trying to help her or care about her. And I just didn't like that.

Again, I understand she's had a shitty life... but there just wasn't a lot in this book to redeem August for me and make me like her. I spent a lot of the book being like: I hope this nice girl doesn't fall for her because she's a bit of a dickhead.

4. August's Self Hate

In addition to being a bit of a dick... August has so much self-hate I found this book hard to read at times. Every time there is a description of her doing ANYTHING it is tinged with self-hatred to the point that the book was frustrating to read. There is a scene where she's been out in the rain and she's wearing sneakers. She gets on the train and her "sneakers squelched unattractively." So even when things are out of her control she projects self-hate onto them. And I HATED IT SO MUCH. It was infuriating. Even after Jane starts to like her and tells her that she's attractive and that her body is attractive the narrative is still very much "why does she like me though?"

I've had this conversation/rant with a few other people... and I understand that self-hate is very engrained in our society. I understand that girls, especially chubby girls, have this on their mind a lot of the time. One friend said that it would be unrealistic to have a book where the chubby girl doesn't hate herself, the suspension of disbelief of that would not be possible. (I feel I should point out this friend is chubby also).

But as a fat girl I need to say: I'M FUCKING TIRED OF THIS. I HATE IT SO MUCH. I want a main character like Lizzo, walking around with her skin on display and being confidant. I know that's a leap, honestly, but I would even go for someone acknowledging their body but not in a hateful way. Or having a little bit of a confidence issue but nothing like what was in this book. August hates herself so much that honestly... I was kind of mad about it.

One of the best fictional fat girls of all time is Suki from Gilmore Girls. You know why I loved her? Growing up and now? Because her weight is NEVER brought up. It's never the point of any of her jokes. It's never suggested she should lose weight. She never has any plotlines around dieting for her wedding or trying to fit into an old dress. Her weight is NEVER AN ISSUE. THIS IS WHAT I WANT IN FAT GIRL REP!!!!

Sorry... this point in particular is very close to home for me. As someone who's recently found her confidence it was very hard for me to read an entire book where everyone around the chubby girl is being nice to her but she's rude to them and self hating to herself.

Do girls like this exist? Of course! I was one of these girls! But it's frustrating to read sometimes.

5. Jane's Promiscuity

I found this was a sloppy way of getting them to kiss. And I'm not a HUGE fan of the slut and virgin trope. I don't mind someone having experience. But it seemed like Jane slept with half the women in the US before she was 24. And the only reason there was for her to have SO many partners was for August to kiss her more.

Quick explanation if you haven't read the book: Jane starts getting her memories back via sensory experiences. So they decide she'll remember her partners better if August kisses her to help her remember kissing other girls.

So in the end it just felt like a REALLY lame excuse for them to kiss.

At this point, I feel you being like: did you like ANYTHING about the book at all?

I did!

6. Wes and Isiah and Maya and Niko

I loved pretty much every character BUT August.

Wes and Isiah's love story was much more interesting to me than August and Jane's. Wes had the self-hate going on too... but Wes' was related to being a disappointment to everyone in his past and not feeling like he could be anything else. And he didn't want to burden Isiah with a disappointment. But they were cute as HELL and I loved the development of their relationship.

Maya and Niko are just perfect, and wacky and wonderful and were adorable from the start.

7. Jane

I loved Jane's character (other than the previously mentioned promiscuity). She was fun and happy-go-lucky and had an interesting problem and an interesting history (again, aside from the promiscuity).

8. Queer History

It was only touched on briefly in the book, but I loved the idea that Jane was front and centre for a lot of events in queer history. I liked what it brought up. I liked the way it made August want to learn more about her community. I honestly wish there had been a little more. Especially since Jane lived through it all.

I loved loved LOVED Red White and Royal Blue.

One of the things I loved most about that book was the way she broke down walls and stereotypes. The way that Pez is so effeminate, but only shows interest in women throughout the book, and NEVER labels himself. Having queer rep throughout politics. Having a divorced woman as president. There was so much representation in that book, but it didn't feel forced the way it did in this one. One Last Stop seemed very centred around these tropes and stereotypes... and that drove me a little crazy. I expected more from Casey McQuiston after reading Red White and Royal Blue.

In conclusion. I will not be keeping this book. I will not be rereading it. I did not care for it much at all.

Ok. Rant over.

I WILL SAY IT AGAIN: if you disagree with me. If you felt something because of this book. If this book spoke to you and made you feel seen and represented. None of my bullshit opinion changes that. FEEL THOSE THINGS! Take the art that means something to you and keep it close.