#also you don't have to match my length !! i get rambly and carried away !!

[remyfire]

It sure was Flootz's! Love Is a Sacrament, and god that's another I've reread several times because I just LOVE the dynamic at play there. It also hits so many of my "interests", so to say, and truly is such a good showing for that ship. I also love that even though it's a modern AU, they're still written exactly the same, just with the added bonus of actually being married.

And y e s I can definitely see that! I need BJ to confront the parts of himself he doesn't want to acknowledge the existence of, please and thanks. I know there have got to be things he represses and ignores, and I'm sure Sidney can tell too, but BJ never lets him get close enough to figure out what those things are. But BJ babygirl sometimes you have to talk it out! And truly if you wrote more fics of them I would read every single one.

I could definitely tell something was up in that scene in Eye for a Tooth too, Margaret may get fed up with these boys but she's not outright cruel or vengeful. I was so interested to see where it was going, and BJ's reaction did not disappoint. Admittedly I don't really ship them however I absolutely respect that rarepair, and even platonically I can sooo appreciate that care and softness he showed her! It was all acting and she was in on the plan but it's still so clear that BJ wanted to make absolutely certain she was okay the whole time and god just what a man. Everything he does is underscored with so much love and I love the little moments we can see it like that hand hold and check in!

As for Mulcahy, I definitely see your point about the wanting recognition vs the Catholic teaching of selfless help. I also thought it was interesting that the immediate next episode was Dear Sis, where we see Mulcahy struggling again with feeling useless and unrecognized in the unit. I loved Hawkeye's talk with him and trying to show him he was wanted, I think he really deserved that. And as a former Catholic myself, I find the idea of the dismantling of a belief system you've followed your entire life soooo interesting. And the fact that Mulcahy has managed to hold onto his beliefs for so much of the war tells me that any questioning he does would be painful and long-felt, and that just makes it even better. Any introspection with him would be fascinating and would take so long to dive into, like you said, but damn it if I'm not having some thoughts of my own.

(God bless the MASH writers who decided to give us shower scenes in literally any of the episodes they appear in. Also that chopper pilot is correct, because I too want to blow Mulcahy's back out. I think he deserves it.)

And P.S. please don't apologize for the length or rambling! As you can see, I'm fully able to match your energy in that regard. I love getting the peeks into other peoples' minds like this and also writing obnoxious character studies in tumblr ask boxes. So ramble away!

It's always interesting to see what transposes well into a modern verse and what doesn't carry through, right? I respect authors that can make it work for them so easily because I struggle sometimes to really manifest ideas of what would be the modern equivalent of being trapped in a very small area with a very small group of people to essentially evolve the characters into the ones we come to know and love. Like, they are not the same people when they get there as the ones who leave, and the majority of the reason they become who they are is due to the stress, the constant psychic damage of it all.

I realize ofc this is the autism of it all, really, me making things overly complicated for myself as an author 😂 But it's fine

That being said, justalittlegreen did it in a way I really enjoyed with her "A Full, Rich Day," which is BJ/Hawk/Trap and setting them in a modern verse where they're all in residency together, and having the frantic and sometimes incredibly heavy/grief-stricken moments really pulled it all together for me in a way that just hit. So I'm always turning thoughts like that over and over in my head to figure out what might finally inspire me to possibly try something similar one day in my own work.

(also please, don't worry, you don't have to tell me you don't ship BJ and Margaret. I am the captain of their canoe with roughly four other individuals as passengers, just paddling our way through the ocean. I assume that no one else ships them, trust me 😂 )

If you're not careful, though, you're gonna get me talking about just the sheer husband-coded nature of BJ and how he is constantly looking for ways to microdose on that aspect of himself while being so far away from Peg. It kills me. Man is out here carrying Margaret around any chance he gets, being so respectfully tactile with the nurses—a hand on the shoulder or the arm—his instinct to check in on them when he can tell something's wrong. Like, YES, so much of it is that he is genuinely an incredibly good man, but it's such an interesting part of his character to me, how often he'll go out of his way to do these things and genuinely seeming to get a degree of personal fulfillment out of it, bless his heart.

I am fighting tooth and nail to hold Mulcahy back in my brain right now. Lovely, sweet man, genuinely misguided in many circumstances, fully aware of a lot of the pain that he brings by nature of being a Catholic priest (I have a lot of thoughts about it regarding the S8 episode "Yessir, That's Our Baby" that are always trying to bubble over, so lemme know if you have some yourself when you get there haha) and yet still so keen on his mission all the same, whether it's compassion or conversion. And Dear Sis, fucking Christ, what a whammy of an episode. That conversation between him and Hawk in it lives rent free in my head. God. Did you know this is a good show? /lh

[loregoddess]

I'm curious, what would your ideal FE be?

And do you have any particular FE concepts in mind?

Hmmm, I've been thinking this over since you sent it to me, and it's hard to say because there's a lot of things I like that I dunno if they'd actually work together, if that makes sense? Mostly I just have a lot of thoughts about things I'd like to see in a FE game, which I can write out. Under the cut bc, length (it is Very Long, I'm so sorry). Also fair warning that I'm kind of rambling with some direction and organization, but this was all very train-of-thought while I wrote.

Like, ideally, my first thing would to be to get rid of all gender-locked classes. They're absurd. Fates got the idea right by getting rid of them, honestly (although I think women should be allowed to be butlers and men maids, as a treat, even though I know those two classes were literally the same class w/ different aesthetics). I don't have any specific wants for which classes should appear, be added, or be dropped really, just so long as the classes make sense for the overall story (Fates once more takes the prize for having the most narratively-appropriate and creative classes). I would like to see some really weird classes though, like the wolf riders in Engage are Very Cool bc wolves, and I want more weird stuff like that. Give me people riding skeleton animals, or giant bugs, as well as bears and moose and all manner of creatures that actually exist. I mean heck, historically camels and elephants were used as mounts, and we've yet to see either in FE. I also want more diversity and creativity in the infantry classes. Again, whatever fits the aesthetic and themes of the story, but I feel like we only get a handful of really weird infantry classes every now and then if we're lucky. Mounting/dismounting should be a permanent mechanic as well, there's nothing more satisfying that sticking a flier in archer range and then having them get off their flying beast.

Also weapon durability should stay gone, I hate weapon durability so much. Although I do like how combat arts and spells worked in Echoes and Three Houses, but like, the mechanics need to be tweaked. The easiest solution would be to simply have like, an attack power meter or something similar that characters could draw on to use combat arts and spells. Also, rather than locking combat arts to specific weapons a la Echoes, have is so that each character either has unique combat arts (and spells), or that they can learn combat arts and spells from specific weapons that they've "mastered" by using a certain number of times in combat, which they can then carry-over to a different weapon.

I also liked how 3H allowed any class to use any weapon, but I think this also needs to extend to magic, so that magic can be used with any class as well. This would open up a lot of opportunity for the player to really experiment mixing and matching classes, weapons, and magic with different units, which I think would be a lot of fun to play (based on how much fun I had with similar mechanics in 3H), and offer a lot of replayability for the sheer madness of trying new things with new characters. This will also do away with a lot of "I love this character, but their stats suck and they're nigh unusable" that sometimes occurs, since the player could theoretically just try out different combinations until they got something that worked (RIP to all the people who said Ignatz wasn't a good unit, I ran him through the thief/assassin line and gave him some magic, and he was a crit machine by the time I landed him in mortal savant, I want more madness like that honestly).

Obviously, having an AP pool would also require mechanics that replenish the pool during battle, which could be any variation or combination of skills, specific actions taken on the map (resting on a specific tile, attacking normally, etc.), or even adding in a special staff. Speaking of, staff durability has to go too, I'm so tired of needing to buy staffs. Also, I know a lot of magic in FE is either "a single spell stored in a tome" (most games) or "spell that character can personally gain access to" (i.e. Echoes, 3H), and like, cool beans, but I think, ideally, I'd want like, actual grimoires or other sorts of magical foci (crystal balls, wands, scepters, magic cards, the possibilities are literally endless). Either the magic weapon allows units more powerful magic attacks (if units had magic specific to them), or "taught" the unit specific types of magic (i.e. a Fire Grimoire might teach a unit fire, elfire, and bolganone, or something along those lines). Also, I want there to be a magic triangle the same way weapons get a triangle, although how that should be arranged (for both) would vary based on what types of weapons and magic the game actually contained.

Aside from what I'd like to see out of classes and battle mechanics, I don't have too many other things to wish for. I really am one of those rare "actually I really do play the game for the mechanics" FE fans. I'd want an interesting, and consistently written, story, mostly. Engage actually hit the story notes perfectly in my opinion, all the characters were about equal in their characterization--even the women were as diverse and interesting as the men--unlike the rampant sexism in Echoes or the uneven characterization depth of 3H, or the unrealized potential due to :too many characters" in Fates; Awakening was fine too, but Engage really polishes the support-based characterization to a shine. So I'd want more of that, like, even if a character is a side character, they should have interesting supports that build their characterization, and I want every character to be about equal in their writing (I know protags obviously get more attention, and that's fine).

Generally I feel like the model for supports is fine, although I think it'd be interesting to have group supports of 3+ characters to contrast the one-on-one of the current support model, just to really add more depth to the characters outside of what they get from the story. Also, while I liked that there was a lot more platonic supports in Engage, I really do miss seeing different paired endings, so I'd honestly bring back S-ranks between non-protag characters, but like, maybe not too many, if that makes sense? Awakening and Fates' supports suffered a bit from the "every man and woman can S-rank every other unit of the opposite gender bc of the child units", whereas I feel that limiting character supports per character really helps to focus the writing in a stronger way (Echoes and Engage did this the best, although I will give kudos to 3H for its unique take on supports, although the roulette of paired endings was...not well-implemented at all). But I also want there to still be a lot of platonic supports, I dunno. Mostly I just want well-written and interesting supports.

Supports aside, the only thing I'd want from the main story--aside from "well-written, consistently written", would be to Not Do whatever the writers were trying to do in 3H. It's my unpopular opinion, but (for as much as I love the characters and gameplay) the story writing just isn't that good or consistent in 3H. Fates, even with it's shitty localization, is more consistently written, and more strongly written, than 3H. FE has never actually been about war a critique of war (go to MGS or like, Triangle Strategy for that). FE flourishes narratively when it's a little goofy, and completely earnest, and focused on a few key narrative themes. I dunno what I'd want to see specifically for those themes, because I enjoy all sorts of stories, but yeah...(although to be fair, FE would probably fail as a cosmic horror story--or as any type of true horror--so I wouldn't want that I suppose, despite loving cosmic horror). Also, no split-timelines, multiple routes, etc. Just one storyline. I don't hate how Fates and 3H use multiple storylines, but...I prefer a singular story arc.

The music has been really good for basically every game, so I'd be fine with the current composers being allowed to do whatever they please. Now the art direction...I have a lot of conflicting thoughts because, on one hand, I know why a lot of the things I have personal beef with exist from a production standpoint (almost everyone has one of like, four body model types in Engage and it drives me insane bc there is NO body type diversity, but also for the modelers, it was probably more cost-effective to just have a handful of models for each class to swap out character heads and palettes for class changes, but I still hate the lack of body diversity, but I also understand why it would be easier, but...and so on).

That said, if we are talking what my absolute ideal would be, I just, really, really want diverse character designs. I want many different body shapes and sizes, I want lots of different skin tones (and please enough with the nigh grey-skinned characters), I want people to have actual noses and more than one or two nose shapes, I want crooked teeth and wrinkles and other "allegedly unflattering" physical appearances for characters who aren't evil, and just, I want the character design to really push beyond the whole "aesthetically pleasing based on the current sense of what is considered aesthetically pleasing" that I've seen in...too many media. Also enough with making all villains "ugly" (or the weird "big tiddy evil lady" trope, we've moved beyond demonizing women by making them sexy femme fatales), like, as much as I love the cartoonishly evil villains, sometimes the caricatures are just, tiring and uninspired. Honestly, Heroes is pulling more weight in the "interesting villain designs" department (as well as Kozaki just pulling all the weight in trying to have more diverse designs for women for Heroes), and just, we need more of that in the mainline games.

Also, for as far as like, animations and cutscenes and stuff, I feel like Engage made a lot of progress with it's pre-rendered cutscenes (they're back to being on par with the animations for Awakening and Fates, which had the best pre-rendered animated cutscenes of the games I've been using as examples, in my opinion), but the in-game cutscenes reverted back to the characters standing around in a circle talking a la 3H. We'd never get something like Sumia punching Chrom on the screen in either 3H or Engage, and that's a real shame bc the 3D models do look a lot more complex and pretty than the little polygon people of Awakening, Fates, or Echoes, and yet the in-game cutscenes don't do anything with them. Again, I get that from a production standpoint, having a handful of stock animations for body language and then setting the characters in a circle in a skybox to talk is easier and less-intensive cost-wise, but damn does it really suck the life out of the story at that moment. If it wasn't for the stellar voice acting, then scenes would really fall flat I think. So yeah, more character design diversity all around, better utilization of 3D assets.

And that's...where I think I'm gonna call this a post. I don't have any particular concepts for a hypothetical FE game, partly bc any time I think, "I wish this narrative device or type of story existed" I just end up taking it and turning it into one of my many personal original project ideas instead. Which is...probably why I don't have a lot of AU ideas ever, bc part of me figures if I'm gonna change that much from canon, I might as well just make up my own thing entirely and be bound by no rules except my own. But since I can't see myself getting into game coding and trying to make my own game anytime soon, I can at least think about the types of things I'd like to see in a FE game, though they may never come to be.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hi!!! i just came across your account and kind of fell in love with how you do your matchups, with adding little details that the requester wrote into your replies, and i just couldn't resist akjdhfkjashf soooo, could i get one for Bungo Stray Dogs, and another for Attack on Titan? :D

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: heterosexual

zodiac/MBTI: aquarius, INFP-T or INTP (really depends on my mood alkjdhfkjahdsf i've been mistaken for an extrovert, which makes sense - i like talking to people, i just get tired)

appearance: long, dark hair, ranging from a grade-a mess to oh-wait-that-actually-looks-really-nice. i'm half-japanese, half-caucasian, so...? also, 5'9 and slim (??? idk if that's the word, but i'll go with it!). i don't want to sound arrogant, but i like how i look, most of the time ^^

personality: i'm friendly and cheerful with pretty much everyone i meet, though i'm a bit awkward – like, i don't think i've met anyone that i straight up don't get along with, and i can befriend anyone if i have enough time XD i love my close friends very dearly, and my family and dog are some of the most important people in my life. my love languages are quality time and acts of service. like, "i WILL cook a meal for you if you're having a hard time and YOU WILL LIKE IT" kind of acts of service. i'd really like for physical affection to be one of my love languages – it looks so comfortable and nice – but i'm very guarded? physically and emotionally, so that's a problem XD i'm someone people share their struggles with, since i'm apparently a good listener and non-judgemental. i've also been told i make people comfortable. i like feeling useful and needed, so it's a bit like a symbiotic relationship akdjshaksjdf i make an active effort to be as genuine as i can, because i think that's really important. i'm very perceptive and analytical, alongside being a creative person. i like to think i'm pretty funny ;w; generally, i'll put up a front of being outgoing-ish to people, but my friends know that i get tired really easily, and i'll just sit there and zone out when i can XD i'm a bit neurotic, but that comes with being the eldest daughter <3 i get irritated when people aren't as efficient as i am, and i low key have no self-esteem, but oh well ;-; oh gosh i rambled i'm sorry T^T

likes: rain, cooking, producing music (like chill synth stuff) and listening to music, reading and writing hehe ((consumer and producer lmao)), roadtrips, rock climbing, drama (like, acting drama)

dislikes: conflict, drama (the gossip drama akjdfjksdhf), regret (weird thing to add, but i just really don't like the feeling ;-;), packed schedules

hobbies: archery, learning guitar, producing music and writing (again XD)

i really hope this isn't too much, length-wise ^^; i didn't want it to be too vague, then i got a bit carried away...anyway! i hope you're having/will have a good day!!

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like your matchups!

In Bungo Stray Dogs, I match you with...

Junichiro is a lot like you in the sense that he cares deeply about his friends and family and, while he can be awkward at times, he’s good at socialising and making friends.

Conflict is unavoidable at the Armed Detective Agency but Junichiro tires his best to keep it to a minimum, especially when you’re around.

Enjoys going on road trips with you. He likes being able to get away from work for a while, as well as spend quality time with you.

He’s quietly supportive of you, especially regarding your lack of self-esteem. Junichiro thinks you’re great and he wants you to know that.

At the same time, I feel like Junichiro struggles with self-confidence as well so you can support each other. It’s a long road building up self-confidence but you’re there for each other.

In Attack on Titan, I match you with...

This was a close call between Jean and Connie but I think Jean would be a better fit for you. You just get along better.

If you thought Junichiro was supportive of you, Jean dials that up to the max. He cares about you so much that it almost hurts him knowing that you aren’t confident in yourself.

Jean would love cooking with you. He’s a huge fan of that domestic stuff so cooking with you while there’s some music playing in the background is one of his favourite things to do.

He finds you comforting, which is a big thing for him. Comfort is a rarity in the world of Attack on Titan and he’ll do what he can to make you feel comfortable as well.

I feel like Jean would enjoy rock climbing with you as well. He’s pretty fit so he can certainly keep up with you. It’s a good way of keeping fit and spending time with you.

[ftchanwoo]

STATUS  :  OPEN  . LOCATION  :  PRACTICE ROOM  .

a new comeback promotion schedule meant that the only time chanwoo had to practice  --  to perfect his already flawless performance  --  were in the wee hours of the night  .  he didn’t mind though  ,  not really  .  the calmness of the building and feeling of being completely alone allowed him to let loose in a way he couldn’t during work hours  .  there was no one here to judge him if he made a mistake or anyone to be compared too  .  he could simply let his body follow the music  .  he could work on his facials in the mirror and if he looked ugly it was only his own face looking back at him  .  he did some of his most intense training on nights like these  .  it wasn’t like he’d get much sleep anyway  ,  he never did during comebacks  .  he had too much pent up energy  .

however  ,  being in the studio alone at night also meant that any noise or eerie feeling  ,  well  ,  it scared him  .  his solution always had been and always would be to play his music really loud through his headphones and tune out the rest of the world  .  only it backfired because he of course wasn’t able to hear anyone else enter the practice room  .  causing a high pitched scream to leave his lips and to fall flat on his ass in terror when he turned to see someone there unexpectedly  .  it all happened in a matter of seconds  .  though  ,  after the initial shock wore off  ,  chanwoo pulled out the earbuds and placed his hand over his heart as if it would help calm it’s rapid pace  .  ❝  how long have you been there ?  ❞  he panted  ,  straightening himself back out but not getting up from his position now on the floor  .  ❝  you shouldn’t sneak up on people like that  .  make some noise when you enter a room or something  .  ❞

[anime-fan93]

Heyy!!! I'm asking for an encanto match up if you have the time to !!

Im non-binary, pansexual and use any pronouns!! I'm also a minor I'm a Aries and my mbti type is Enfj/Esfj !!!

I have tan skin [like Camilo but a bit darker!] Black hair that's shoulder length, very Dark brown eyes And i usually just wear comfortable nice clothes !!

I REALLY like to draw and write sometimes!! I also really like reading and have a interest in plant / flower language!!! I also really like binging random animes/cartoons/shows/games if I don't have anything else to do !!

Personality wise I'm VERY extroverted I do come off shy at first since I'm not the best at first impressions HAVDJWG, Im pretty loud and joke alot but know when it isn't the time too! I'm also pretty comforting I love helping my friends especially if they're having a rough time so I'm pretty good at comforting people!! I'm usually the parent friend AND the loud friend mixed together in a group, I have a habit to ramble about my interests BUT i really love hearing about other people's interest! It makes me happy seeing them talk about something they like and I try to pick it up their interests so we can talk about them more!! I'm a bit of a risk taker!! I love the feeling of adrenaline even if I'm usually the more mature one in the group but because of that I usually lean on the risk taker friend to kinda break me out of that and just run around and have fun BUT OFC I KNOW WHEN TO STOP might be a risk taker but I know when NOT to do something !!

I don't really have a type but I can say i like nerds / introverted people and class clowns / loud people !!

SORRY IF THIS IS TOO LONG THANK YOU FOR READING AND HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/AFTERNOON/NIGHT <333

Thank you for requesting!

I match you with...

Camilo!

Camilo would be content with you being shy at first but would be a bit surprised once you came out of your shell and started being loud.

He would love every minute of it, though.

I feel Camilo would be a great artist and would be so excited when he figured out that you enjoyed it too, and would want to draw with you often.

He would binge all the shows with you when he had the time, though sometimes he would just want peace and quiet with you.

Camilo wouldn't need to be comforted much, but when he did, he would come to you, a bit hesitant to open up and tell you.

He would let you ramble, loving to just watch you get excited and hear your voice. You two would talk about your interests for hours in his room or even in public, you would just get carried away.

It would drive Dolores crazy.

You said you're a risk taker?

So is he!!

You two would constantly do crazy things together to the point people would expect you two to get hurt. You two would barely dodge getting into trouble, managing to escape wherever you were before you could.

You two would always be making people laugh and have fun, but you two would also be there for each other when you're feeling low, staying inside and just taking care of each other.

Thank you for requesting!

[marsandsaturn]

hello, I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you. could I get a haikyuu matchup?

I'm 5'8 (I believe, if not them 5'7), Leo, bi, 2004s baby, and a goddamn runaway- peace out. My friends either call me Tea or Cherry. I have collar bone length hair which has been dyed ombre and curtain bangs. I have a 'slim thicc' body due to going to the gym and finally recovering from E.D's. the only thing I like about myself is my 🍑 tho ngl I'm sorry dkfkdkks. my eyes are a dark blueish gray??

my style is very much- platforms, bell bottom jeans/sweats, and either a crop top or XXL hoodie there is no in between. I wear a lot of rings and earings and pierce my ears often hehe. around the house I just wear panties and a men's shirt? I don't wears bras, no, even tho my 🍒 are on the bigger side now.

I love to bake, party, draw in pencil and animate 3D on YouTube, it's my paying job actually. I'm very much so a cat person - I see a cat and you know you lost me mentally. I love to read and that's all I do when I'm holiday, I love the escape, that, or I enjoy going on 2am walks with my friends or dyeing my friends hair or doing their nails. I used to be around male friends a lot but now men just shamelessly flirt with me and ✨ion like that✨. oh, I fight with my religious teacher a lot and once drew two lesbians cause she was being homophobic and was about to give her the drawing to piss her off but quarantine started... I get into fights with all my teachers really.

I think I over shared? I'm just in class and I can't think of anything so I just rambled, I'm sorry, feel free to not do this ask kdneksla

NOOO baby it’s okay the more you share the more it better to pair you with someone. Also sorry for taking so to write this request, I had like a 72 question homework for Geometry and I suck at math in General. Anyway onto the match up. I match you with... KENMA KOZUME. So what made me match you up with Kenma when you were talking about your style, it gave me “please stomp of me” vibes especially when you said platforms. And I think the Haikyuu fandom as established Kenma as a bottom but I see him as a switch. But what really made me choose kenma was the fact that you do 3D animation,,,I wanna be a director but if I ever wanna do a animated movie I am coming to you,,,annieways. Also with you just wearing panties and a men’s t-shirt around the house is Kenma’s weakness. He would sjhyly give your his shirt but as soon as he sees you in just those things this “shy baby” we all know he ain’t a shy baby,,,he’s a gremlin,,he would become a bold ass dom, teasing you until you guys are hooking up at his gaming desk. Annieways I’m getting carried away LMAO.

We all know Kenma is a gamer, a technology nerd, you could say. So whenever he is tired of doing his job or gaming, I feel like he would want to watch you bake, draw, or even animate in 3D. Also Kenma is also a cat person,,,same,,,and I just know the two of you would get a cat together. It’s name would be Shirley, like Shirley Templedjdjdlkjafkjad don't come for me. And the things you do with your friends, he’d like to do them with you. Like going on walks at 2am except if its really cold he’d rather snuggle with you but he would definitely let you dye his hair and do his nails. Because this gemlin of a man is a simp for you. Also if you too are in the same class and that teach does happen to be homophobic, he would let you start of fight with that teacher he might join in but towards the end, he has to much social anxiety to join you from the beginning.  all honestly Kenma really loves you and is willing to try things that you love to do.

[alitheamateur]

The Grind- Chapter 31

A/N: Here we are, my precious jewels. The end of my own little era, but the beginning of a renewed passion. This story brought back a love for story-telling that I had long neglected, and although most don't understand the sentiment, I owe a lot of happiness to these characters. The Grind sprouted during a very dark, confusing, heartbreaking time in my life, and it became such a welcomed distraction from my emotional spiral. This piece of fiction will be held near and dear to my soul for all of eternity, and my heart beats with love for each & every one of you who has shared a kind word. 

One last time, The Grind.

I was grateful that even over all the unsteady commotion, the gravel of his familiar voice busted through to my eardrums. The thud of my pulse hammered, already bringing along the gift of a taxing migraine that would only worsen once a pair of fists lashed into my skull. I was dreading the aching road of recovery before Kat and I had even thrown a punch.

Hers came first though. Quick, and robust it met the girlish roundness of my chin, shaking quivers over every hair on my skin. My footing staggered, and I swear to you my very eyeballs rattled. The early stages of pain I felt didn’t talk long to drag back the memo to my brain to protect my face as much as possible as she obsessively stalked to land an even more brutal hit the next time. I swished the blood laced spit around my jaws to wet my tongue, and settled in for war.

She could tell the blow had combusted an inkling of uncertainty in my spirit, and it only fed her desire for violence. With a random bout of bravery, I pointed an attempted swing for her ribs, connecting successfully to the tight ripples of her abdomen. Seeing as she hadn’t foreseen the body shot, it crippled her standing straight stance, and I was able to rock two more fists to the opposite cage of her ribs. Something felt off for a second when I heard her gasp for a breath when I released the wind from her belly. I felt… bad.

Violent nature was foreign to me, and I let myself feel briefly apologetic on the inside watching her suffer for air. Then, the fighting side of me rose to rule. I lobbed a club-foot kick to her chiseled thigh, victoriously capturing her balance. However, I couldn’t completely escape my often clumsy tactics, and I let my own legs tangle with hers as she dropped buoyantly to the mat.

I scurried with fluster to try and reach my standing position before Bex, but unfortunately her quickness outweighed my own. I brought my forearms to my face, doubling them as a shield of armor for my breakable nose. With her every delivery of a fist, my head bounced like a ball on the soft mat below. I prayed for her to tire, or somehow make a careless mistake and allow my escape. I could already feel the tenderness of plum-shaded bruises forming up and down my arms, and I just wanted to cower in Colton’s arms.

Where was his voice? Why couldn’t I hear the assuring yells of he and Tia?

Just as my arms began to weaken in defeat, the squealing of the timekeeper’s bell halted her strike.

Katrina stood to her feet with ease, running for the cool swig of water waiting in her corner, leaving a shaken and hallucinating swirl of stars swimming like a halo around my skull. I tried to assess myself on the mat, still surveying what damage may have been done. Aside from my fractured pride.

“Baby! Get up, c’mon! Get over here, Liv!”

I frenzied to my feet shakily, remembering the very limited seconds I had to steal a second with my coaches in between rounds. Tia tried to masquerade her reaction of pity, but the squinting sickness of her eyes told all the tale I needed. I didn’t feel much pain, other than a tight pressure settling inside my nostrils, so the unknown markings couldn’t have been of much severity, right?

Suddenly, settling on the 3-legged stool for a ticking minute of a break, I caught glimpse of the very sopped, very stained towel that Colt applied to my stuffy nose. He squeezed gently, and his touch seemed to re-apply sensation to my busted snout. I yelped as his massaged as gingerly as his rocky hands would, and plugged the holes with some sort of swabs to drink up the blood-spill.

“You good, Liv? Hey… Look at me, right now. Look in my eyes. Do you wanna keep going?” Colton shook my shoulders, demanding a surefire answer. Bless his soul, there was nothing but devoted protection and the will to be my strong tower in his silver eyes.

“Have a little faith, remember?”

He rehearsed his best fake smile, and slung the ruined rag over his shoulder to scoop up my cushioned seat when the ref tapped a finger to his imaginary watch hurrying us to pick up the pace.

Besides the whelped imprint of my ankle bone on the upper of her thigh, Bex would enter the second round only rested and ready for more. She would go viciously after my obviously very broken nose, so it was my responsibility to protect it like a mother bird to her helpless young.

Two nippy little jabs, but thankfully she had missed. The dodging alone of her efforted hits made my entire face spasm with pain, and I was already daydreaming about the blue-green blossoms of bruise I would wake up to in the morning. If I even made it that far…

“Go after that leg, Liv! She’s tryin’ to baby it, so get after her!”

With Tia’s help, I did begin to notice the awkward teeter to Katrina’s steps. She was hobbling in the slightest, and her leg carried a barely detectable limp of uneasiness. If I could numb that leg enough, and swipe her footing to crash, I knew I could get her. I needed just a cracked window of opportunity, and I wouldn’t let my submission training go to waste.

I fell into rhythm with bizarre fist fakes, confusing her reflexes when taking shot after shot at her leg. With unyielding focus, I beat the tender skin of her thigh with kicks like a well-oiled meat tenderizer, the stretch of my own groin muscle also suffering.

Dribbles from my nose spilled blood down my chest onto the mat, painting a slickness beneath our feet. The metallic flavored goo gurgled in the back of my throat, and I wanted to spit free my mouthguard and guzzle the strongest proof of some sort of dark alcohol to curb its stain on my tongue. I made a mental note that Colt make a liquor run once I settled into the featherbed in our hotel room.

As Katrina and I tiptoed on light feet ‘round the cage, I’d give side glances to Colt. Once finding his foot standing in the seat of my stool with his elbow resting on a knee, his mouth taut behind the hand his rested over his lips. Assessing. Strategizing. Criticizing?

Another moment his forearms interlocked over his beating chest, toes tapping in a wide stance, and even a barely traceable half-smile sitting across his face. Just knowing he was there, close to me, only a few arms-lengths away should danger really arrive, slowed the pace of my overbeating heart. I’d win this for him. For me, of course. But, it was decided nevertheless that Katrina’s very first loss tonight, would ultimately rally a victory for me, my camp, and my Colton.

As the round ended, Bex felt the buff weight of pressure stalking around her. As I turned, this time much more aware, towards my corner for a rushed break between blows, she smashed both palms to the blades of my shoulder, childishly showing me to the ground. Our ref consumed her with a tight embrace, quite firmly chastising into her ear. Thankfully for the much ,much needed backup, I bounced out of the way for Willow to swallow Tia inside a resisting bearhug, as I attempted to handle Colton’s own bursting of incoherent fury.

“Handle your fuckin’ girl, Tyler! You and I both knew we ain’t here for any shit like that!” My rumbling bear growled across the mat to Kat’s fumbling coach. “I see anything like that again, and me ‘n you may have to borrow this damn cage for a short minute.”

“Hey, hey, hey! Colton, hey. Stop, baby. C’mon! Look at me, I’m good, ok?” I purred and hummed into his hot ear. Hoping some sort of soothing spell would lull some calmness back into his raging eyes.

“COLT, STOP. Shit! Take a deep breath, Colton. Don’t ruin this for me, damn it! I’m fine, babe. I promise.” I was rambling to an empty shell. His spirit was climbing the rafters like a demonic spirt lurking above the darkest shadows. “Please…”

With that simplest plea, the pink of his cheeks reappeared, and his lips relaxed. I think his teeth cracked from the tense of his unbreakable jaws.

He shuddered, as if feeling his spirit mold back into his body, and turned away from Bex and her coach. Placing two firm paws atop my shoulders, he hurried me to a seat, kneeling himself to eye level.

“Beat. Her.” A growl buzzed from the back of his raw throat.

He knew her sideshow had embarrassed me, and if I wouldn’t let him intervene in my honor, I best do it myself.

Colton kissed me. Hard. Teetering the stool on its back legs. And if I couldn’t win this fight with that kind of motivation, I never had a chance to begin with.

The referee had taken some extra moments to scold Katrina for the uncalled for, untimely reaction, and began ushering Tia and Colt towards the cage door.

I hissed an engrossed inhale, focusing best I could to even out the pace of my tottering, rambunctious heart.

But my heart would be the only thing I would slow.

Barely registering the ‘ting’ of our timekeepers bell, I lunged forward sighting in on the nose protruding from the middle of her smug face. The girl hadn’t given a single clear peep at her face the entire match, but it seemed in that moment that fate had tied her hands for the upper hand of my fist.

Her eyes wept instantly at the burn of her nasal bone cracking in half. But that didn’t stop me. My humanity switched long flipped with the scent of a wound, and I was only out for blood no matter the cost. With battered knuckles, and uncontrolled swings, the light of defense dulled behind my opponents’ eyes.

A happen-stance shot deep into the mushy socket of her eye obliterated her focus, and the cage rumbled and rattled when her body fell limber at my feet. Until I was torn from her, and the match was called, I wouldn’t stop the invasive assault and risk any odds of a comeback.

Her head bobbled like a bottle cap rolling over the waves of a high tide ocean, and it seemed the way her eyelashes batted in slow motion that they themselves were even too heavy for her to bear. Our official closely observed her behavior, watching for signs of drooping unconsciousness, and any other medical qualifications for calling the match.

With one roll of my knuckles over her chin, her knee buckled at the bend and sent her tumbling. Trying to resist the inevitable admirably, in true fighters’ fashion, Katrina’s feeble, worn down body emptied of any overcoming abilities. Tears began to twine with red leaking down her face when the ring ref signaled to the timekeeper, calling the bout.

TKO.

Colton’s obsessing pride, uncontainable joy, and earnest tears of content dissipated whatever inkling of patience he was born with, and he kicked his lead foot into the cage door, bending loose the hinges to get to me. As my left hand was raised in baffling triumph, he pulled it right back into his own, sliding back into to place the sparkling gemstone on my ring finger.

Colton’s sentimental tears turned loose into an unbroken stream, his chest choking free chuckling sobs as he folded at the knee, and buried his reddening face into the pumping breaths of my belly. I could feel his mumblings vibrate into me, and his mouth movements tickling the bare skin above my waistband. Pulling him free and seeking his face, I combed through his shagged hair with giggling of my own.

“Baby. Hey! What is it, Colt?!”

I adored the way his smile danced with his tears, the odd coupling a beautiful one.

“You are fucking amazing, Liv Elliott! And fuck me for ever thinking you didn’t belong here.”

With an eager, rising fever to kiss his forever gorgeous lips, I cupped his face and willed him into me. His hands wormed under the crook of my arms and suddenly the ground disappeared from beneath my tired feet. No protest present, I hooked the clutches of my legs about his abdomen, and captured him. If I had any breath in me after the battle, he would’ve sucked it clear from my lungs with his smothering display of a kiss. I heard cameras snapping, analysts and fellow writers begging my name for a statement, but all the world might as well have been a foreign, unpopulated wonderland where only my soul and his could survive.

The fusing of his plush-skinned mouth with my own lit my spirit on fire, and I considered dragging him to the courthouse first thing the following day to marry him on the spot, just to be able to pair his own name with the word ‘husband’.

“Do your thing, champ. They wanna hear from you,” Colton plopped me down to meet to ground. “I’ll be right here. Always”

He eased himself backwards, dismissing himself from the sight of cameras and attention, pushing me to bathe in the limelight of the results of my hard work. He may not have been holding my hand in the literal sense, but the glow of his cheery cheeks as he watched me share the rundown from my point-of-view with the newspapers comforted me. I spied Tia even chatting at his side, with some strange sentiment resembling a genuine smile, as my parents weaved through the aisles.

Standing in my own portrayal of center stage, feeling the gratifying weight of his diamond promise on my finger, his last name soon-to-be mine on the wrist of my blood-stained gloves, and the unpredicted win of an MMA bout under my belt, there weren’t enough words in a Webster to define my state. Whether things would never be the same again, I knew all change would be for the better with the treasure of my Colton tucked in my back pocket for cherished keeping. With a determined heart, a driving passion, and maybe a few more callouses on my hands than before, I would strap down and relish in the ride to come. Lots of work, even more play, and back to The Grind.

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