#also yes im watching jackass with my dad. it's awesome.

[officialkendallroy]

i fucking hate the age of streaming services so much why do i need 3 different streaming services to watch all of the jackass movies

[rewritinghomestuckasmr]

>John: place....

>John, place your new CON AIR POSTER on the wall.

You lovingly NAIL your CON AIR POSTER to the wall, a sense of pride washing over you when you step back to look.

>John: Pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

Patting yourself on the back, you admire the CON AIR POSTER a little longer.

….

You wanna say it…

…

Put the bunny back in the box.

>John: Are you proud of yourself?

Why yes.

Yes your are.

>John: Look at the calender.

Ah your handy dandy ORDINARY CALENDAR. You marked your birthday down on it, April 13th, and have yet to x it out. You would right now but, you just didn’t want to.

>John: Mind the fall!

What?

…

OH! 

Almost tripping and falling face first into one of the many cakes in your room (Your dad was overly zealous when it came to this sort of thing), you turn and glare into thin air.

Thanks for the tip jackass.

>John: Eat.The.Cake.

You love your dad’s baking, don’t get that twisted, but you are sick of eating cake right now. You’ve never even really liked cake to begin with!

You’d CAPTCHALOGUE it but, you don’t wanna waste your SYLLADEX cards on it...so it’ll just stay where it is, taking up room in your bedroom.

>John: You’ve got a message!

Looking over at your laptop you brighten considerably when you see that you do in fact have a message, you walk over to your computer to answer the message.

Just for some context this computer has served you through many wars, being there for you whenever you searched the treacherous waters that the internet was. Baring scars from your betrayals and anger filled words.

Proudly your own homemade wallpaper shines back at you.

Your Pesterchum is going off.

>John: Open Pesterchum.

Your grin seems to somehow grow, it’s your bestfriend pestering you after all.

>John: Open message.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:13 --

TG: hey so what sort of insane loot did you rake in today

EB: i got a little monsters poster, it's so awesome. i'm going to watch it again today, the applejuice scene was so funny.

TG: oh hell that is such a coincidence i just found an unopened container of apple juice in my closet it is like fucking christmas up in here

EB: ok thats fine, but i just have one question and then a word of caution. have you ever seen a movie called little monsters starring howie mandel and fred savage?

TG: but

TG: the seal on the bottle is unbroken

TG: are you suggesting someone put piss in my apple juice at the factory

EB: all im saying is don't you think monster howie mandel has the power to do something as simple as reseal a bottle?

TG: why did the that kid or whoever drank it know what piss tasted like

TG: i mean his reaction was nigh instantaneous

EB: it was the 15th day in a row howie mandel peed in his juice.

TG: ok i can accept that

TG: monster B-list celebrity douchebags are cunning and persistent pranksters

TG: also fred savage has a really punchable face

TG: but who cares about this lets stop talking about it

TG: did you get the beta yet

EB: no.

EB: did you?

TG: man i got two copies already

TG: but i dont care im not going to play it or anything the game sounds boring

TG: did you see how it got slammed in game bro????

EB: game bro is a joke and we both know it.

TG: yeah

TG: why dont you go check your mail maybe its there now

EB: alright.

You roll your eyes at your friends quirks,before getting up.

>John: Look out the window.

Your yard looks the same as ever, the looming Oak tree remains resilient while your childhood tire swings sway back and forth from the wind. Your grass remains perfectly cut and free of any lumps and missing pieces of grass. There at the end of the driveway was your mailbox.

.

>John: You got mail!

Looking at the mailbox closely, you practically cheer for joy when you notice the red handlebar thing was up! 

>John: Do a victory dance.

Not right now.

You need to go downstairs and check the mailbox!!!

>John: Go retrieve the mail.

Just as you were about to run down out of your room, you notice that your dad has pulled into the driveway! 

Your dad has returned from the grocery store.

>John: Forget it and check the mail later.

What, no! It’s just your dad.

>John. Forget it and check the mail later.

No. Your going to spite the voice in your head and go check the mail now and give your dad a hug.

>JOHN.

Your head starts to ring.

>CHECK >THE >MAIL >LATER

Your not feeling so good...a fear starts to creep into you, the voice in your head was scaring you….

>John: CAPTCHALOGUE the fake arms again.

You really don’t want to….but out of fear you do, 

>John: Set PESTERCHUM status to BULLY.

Scuttling over to your computer, you quickly set the status of your PESTERCHUM client to bully, not quiet RANCOROUS yet.

>John.

…..

Yes?

>John: Forget about what happened a few minutes ago.

You try your best to forget, you're only able to push it to the back of your mind for later.

>Readers: Forget about what you saw.

...You have a feeling that this will be important later...

[avengeultrons]

Title: A MilkShake Date (Part 8 Back to the Future(Reader x Peter Parker) 

Summary: The reader and Peter are finally off on a date! A date that has to, of course, be ruined by certain devastating news.

Word Count: 1330

A/N: YAY I HAVE FINALLY POSTED! It’s been a crazy emotional whirlwind of a week but I’M HERE! I hope you guys enjoy :) 

Part 9

--

“Where are you off to?” Tony hardly peeked over the book he was reading to see you speed walking to the elevator, the heeled boots you were wearing giving you away instantly.

You tugged at the sleeve of your blouse, your blouse from home, nervously. A sheepish smile made its way to your face, “Milkshakes, with Peter. I have money and I'll be careful and I'll be home by ten. Bye!” the elevator arrived just in time, right before Tony could ask any questions.

“They grow up so fast, don't they?” Bruce snickered from the cushioned chair opposite of Tony, rolling his eyes. He was becoming so incredibly attached to you and had taken you under his wing; Bruce knew that it would be hard for him to see you go when the time came.

The time was arriving a lot quicker than all of you had hoped. Natasha ran in breathlessly, looking all disheveled. She tossed her bag over her shoulder and grabbed an ice pack, pressing it to her cheek. Both Tony and Bruce gaped at her. She looked positively bitter as she collapsed onto the couch, glaring at them, “So, when were you going to tell me that Y/N was from the forties? Oh, right! You weren't! You were just going to wait until a HYDRA jackass cornered me in an alley and threatened me for information!”

“Peter, this very important. Stop laughing!” you took a slurp of chocolate malt and shook your head while he shook was laughter across from you, “Pancakes or waffles? This is a make or break, sir.”  

He rolled his eyes and pretended to ponder his answer, his brows furrowed as he thought, “Can I please choose both? The world would be terrible if we could only have one,” he laughed. You had to nod in agreement, stealing a fry from his plate.

“Okay, my turn to ask a question,” Peter announced, taking a big gulp from his cold glass of cherry cola. You laughed at him, sitting back in your seat to take it all in. You were on a date, in the twenty-first century, with a boy who actually liked you.   

A groan escaped your lips as your phone started ringing off the hook. Only three people had your number; Peter, Tony, and Natasha, “Hold that thought, please. Sorry,” you sighed, clicking to accept the call from Tony.

He was yelling into your ear so loudly that you had to pull your phone away. It was frantic, panicked shouting that made your face fall and a rock drop in your stomach.

“Y/N, what's wrong? Are you okay?” your eyes stung with tears and you tried to mumble incoherent replies to keep Tony at bay. If that was possible.

You shook your head, pulling cash out of your bag as you grabbed your things, “You're kidding, right? How do they know? I-I'm so sorry, tell Natasha I'm sorry. I'm coming home, we’ll figure out what to do?” a shaky sigh escaped your lips as Tony ended the call before you could get a word of goodbye in, “I can't believe this is happening.”

“Y/N, wait. What's wrong, what's happening? I thought we were having fun. Is everything okay? Jeez, you're shivering,” it was true, you were shaking from the cold. Peter draped his jacket over your shoulders and jammed his hands into his pocket, “You look like you've seen a ghost.”

A shaky sigh escaped your lips, “I-I'm sorry,” you tremored as you said it. Your whole world was crumbling around you. Everything was coming to a sudden halt. Well, everything except you. You were sent flying over the edge, “I’m scared,” you told him. His eyes softened as he looked at you, your own eyes sparkling with tears shining from the streetlights. Peter took your hand in his nervously, giving it a gentle squeeze.

The short walk home was long and dreadful. Your impending doom awaited you, just one short elevator ride away. You would have to leave and go back to 1946. Away from the lavish, exhilarating life of 2017. Away from the tower, the bustling city life of the twenty first century. Away from Tony, Natasha and Wanda. Peter.

You sighed as the elevator doors slid open, “I have to tell you something and...just don't get mad. Please,” Peter took your hand and nodded, insinuating that it was the silliest thing in the world. Whatever you were going to say surely couldn't be that bad.

“We have to figure out what we’re going to do, Y/N. What's our next step? Natasha was pissed, but not at you. She loves you. I really don't want-ugh, Y/N I really don't want you to leave,” Tony’s eyes widened as he saw the person standing next to you, the last person who’s supposed to know about your secret.

You bit your bottom lip, looking over at Peter wearily, “What’s our next step for what? Is there a mission? I can do it, Mr. Stark. I really can,” his face lit up, eyes as bright as his future. You sighed and shook your head, pulling him off to the side.

“I’m the mission, Peter. We have to figure out the next step for my mission,” the two of you slowly tiptoed out to the terrace, the cold night air brisk on your face. It nipped at your exposed skin, wicked away at your tears.

He laughed, his head cocked to the side. It would've been cute in a different setting, “I don't understand,” he said, his chin resting in his hand. You weren't sure how Peter was still looking at you like you were the greatest human on earth. You were a liar.

“Remember when we first met? You asked me when I was from, and we both laughed like it was a joke,” you could see his eyes widen as he suddenly started to put two and two together, “I’m not from this time, Peter. I...I traveled through time to get here?” Saying it made it all real. You sounded like some creepy wizard in an unknown land, or a troll blocking a bridge in a make believe board game world.

Peter laughed nervously, tugging at the collar of his tee that suddenly felt like it was suffocating him. It was all so confusing, “You're a time traveler? Wait, what? Are you saying that time travel is real? When are you from? Are you even related to Mr. Stark?” he slid down the wall to a sitting position, you following suit.

“Well, yes time travel is real. I'm from the year 1946 and I'm not related to him, I work with his dad,” you watched Peter look down at the ground, trying to process everything.

His eyebrows were furrowed as he thought, sighing quietly, “Awesome,” Peter said, looking up at you with bright, wide eyes. He truly was awestruck, that was the only moment you'd ever seen the word ‘awesome’ being used correctly. You shook your head abruptly, swiping a tear off of your cheek.

“The HYDRA base I was held at? They know. And Mr. Howard Stark said that if anyone find me out I'd have to go back,” you were talking quickly to keep from crying, but it wasn't really working. You were crying skyways.

Peter nodded slightly, taking your hand in his, “It-It’s going to be fine,” he said, a rock forming in the pit of his stomach. You rested your head on his shoulder and shut your eyes, feeling the weight of your secret releasing. So much for a great date.

“Y/N?” Natasha tiptoed out onto the terrace, a grimace on her face. You knew exactly what she was going to say, but you could also tell that there was no way she could say it. You clambered to your feet and smiled weakly at Peter, “Tony needs to talk to you. We need to figure out what to do.”

TAGGED: @marvelgoateecollection , @fangeekkk, @multifandom-hoellander, @whimsicaldreaming, @im-an-eclectic-mess, @sleepy-rad, @theb-tchyidol, @1022bridgetp, @imaginingadifferentlife, @fireflyloki28, @flopmalum, @curlycals, @-episkey-, @annerbananers2, @criticallyconcealedchaos, @jojos-blog-13, @theincredibleultron

[tmntl0verthings]

Textual Contact

chapter 3 × feat. Michelangelo

Y: hey ^>^

R: sup shortstack

Y: nm tallstack

R: thats horrible..

Y: wut?

R: tall stack? Really? Whered u learn that. School for the uncreative

Y: hey!

R: hey 😄

Y: 😒

R: so whats up?

Y: nm honestly. Im in gym.

R: And?

Y: its boring. U run around inside a room with smelly boys and snotty girls

R: its good for you

Y: shaddup

R: lol

Y: wbu?

R: im chillin. My second work out starts in 10 minutes.

Workout schedule: 6am-10am-3:00pm-7:30pm

Y: and where does training come into play?

R: whenever dad schedules it

Y: oooooh tell me about ur dad. Plz.?

R: uugh ur soooo wantttyyyyy

Y: yes..yes i am

R: lol well hes old, we were all orphans and he took us under his wing. Hes really been there for all of us. Even if we arent blood related.

Y: wow. Didnt see that coming. At all.

R: XD

Y: thats really sweet of him. So like what? U guys lived on the streets. Or orphanage's?

R: well we were just babies at the time so I dont remember

Y: oh alright

R: wbu. I dont know anything about you and im just spilling my guts

Y: ewwww!!

R: what

Y: thats so graphic! Omg the imagining in my head right now. -barfs- 😷😦

R: Lol so?? Tell me.

Y: well i live in bronx and Ivd been here for the last 8 years. I moved when i was just a girl. Life has been alright. I could do without the cat calling from guys. Its pathetic. I dabble in art sometimes. Only when im in the mood. I go to school (duh). I; just like any girl love to cook and bake. I just got into yoga.

R: nice. So what can u bake me?

Y: bake u? Like.. for u?

R: yeah

Y: practically anything. But i wanna see this ✌family✌ first.

R: quotes? really? Make me sound like a liar. Whats wrong wit' chu.

Y: well mmeehhhhh to u too grumpy

R: pfft 😝😝

Y: hey i gotta go. Gym teacher is walking my way.

R: mk

~3 hours later~

M: hheey gurrrlll

Y: lol nm. Wbu raphie kins

M:..are u raphs secret girlfriend or something. Cause only i call raph stuff like that.

Y: 😐 who is dis? Isnt this raphs account.

M: yeah im that kind of brother. So what's ur name sweetcheeks??

Y: y/n

M: ooh Mikey Likey.

Y: mikey? That's ur name

M: well my name is much longer so ppl call me mikey.

Y: oooohh. OH u must have a renaissance name too!

M: bingo

Y: whats ur whole name

M: eehhhh idk if i wanna tell you. Ur kiinndaaa short.

Y:....wut

M: ur kinda short

Y: well ur kinda weird

M: why thank you (Casinova voice)

Y: 😳

M: so tell me. How did u meet leo and then raph?

Y: leo texted me first by Accident thinking i was someone named april. Then leo used raphs phone which led me to talking to raph.

M: makes sense. So u like to bake?? I love baking! Im trying to make my own dish but i cant seem to get any right.

Y: oooh~ whats ur dish?

M: well it tends to vary. I tried to make a carrot lasagna. Failed ✖ Marble pancakes. Something went wrong there. ✖ I tried making chocolate covered asparagus. Failed✖

Y: oo so ur going all out?

M: yea.

Y: maybe i could help. Maybe i could finally meet ur family.

M: oh~ um. I dont think dad would like that. He doesnt like new ppl.

Y: but everyone loves me 😃😃😗

M: lol that may be true (idk) but i shouldnt disobey.

Y: ur family is very different from others ive met. Its like ur hiding. U guys dont go to a public school. Ur home schooled. U cant share ur 'Training' with me.

M: ..well its complicated. But lets not talk about that.

Y: but i want tooooooo

M: nu

Y: yeash

M: nu nu

Y: fine.. what do u do for hobbiez??

M: well i love gaming. I read comics. I guess u could say knunchucks are my passion. I use them everyday. I love movie nights OH and pizza friday. Llovveeeee pizza. Im sometimes my older brother's assistant. He's a nerd. Hes all sciency and stoof. Oh and im a drummer

Y: knunchucks!  😵😵 Wow bro. ..just wow. Thats awesome! Thats a ninja weapon right?

M: yea. But i live by a non-assassin code.

Y: wait... Is ur guyses training.. is it ninjitsue????!😱😱

M: ...nu

Y: awe. I was all excited for nothing

M: lol

Y: so whatcha doin

M: texting u during training

Y: lol so u stole raphs phone?

M:😈😈

Y: lmao so whats going on during training?

M: raph and don are in one team while Im on the other team with lameanardo.

Y: lmao ppl dont like leo?

M: hes like Secondary dad

Y: really? I havent noticed. Like legit havent noticed. No sarcasm in this.

M: lol well if u really knew him. Youd understand.

M: i gotta go. Leo and splinter are on my butt about me on raphs phone.

Y: Lol figured raph would be more on u than the others.

M: lol tru. Ttyl

Y: kk

~since its after school and ur at home. U decided to go for a walk with earbuds.

You clicked ur earbuds into the headphone jack and grabbed a pop tart before u left ur parents apartment. You opened the door to fell a perfect autumn breeze in the cool air. You slipped on your light blue sweater with dark blue lining. Your (hair brushed out/hair in a pony tail.) You locked your door and started walking. You walked around for 40 minutes. Your elbow got caught on the wire of your headphones making them pop out of your ears. You Ughed as you tried putting them back in. You stopped when you heard a trashcan lid fall. You froze as you looked down the sunset shadowed alleyway. You narrowed your eyes adjusting your vision. You saw something trying to stand still but you saw it move just a little as it was breathing. Your eyes grew wider in fear. you continued walking but then turned around to look at the alley one more time to make sure u werent imagining it. You didnt see anything. You felt something touch your ankle. You screeched with a jump back as you looked down to see a taby cat. You exhaled as you then looked up to see it was getting dark. A "let me out im stuck in your pocket" notification tone went off. You looked down to see Leo texted you. you answered his text as you walked away from the alley. Up above on a fire escape crouched over in the alley was someone watching you answer the text with their green eyes. They narrowed as they watched you walk.

L: hey

Y: aye 😀

L: whatcha doin?

Y: just walking around ny wbu

L: same

Y: maybe ill bump into you 😎

L: doubt it XD we're looking down at our phones.

~you laughed out loud by an apartment Leo was ontop of. Leo looked over the edge to see a girl on her phone. As she texted

Y: lol so tru

L: so where are you anyways?   ~ leo heard a Let me out of your pocket notification from down below. He looked back down at the girl still standing there

Y: Im at est. N' broadway

L: ohh i see.

~ he heard the notification tone once again. He rose a brow at this point.

Y: wbu??

L: im no where near u ~leo lied considering thats exactly where he was~

Y: im getting hungry. Ooh i see s hotdog stand! Yaassss!!

L: lol

~leo saw the girl go and get a hotdog from Oscars dogs

His eyes widened realizing he practically met you at this point. "Dude is it time to go home yet??" Mikey whined "yea no kidding. Im tired." Donnie joined in as he held his shoulder in his grasp as he moved his arm in three huge circles. "yea; you guys can go. Im gonna stay behind." Leo told them. Raph just arrived to the roof after his run. "sorry. Someone almost saw me." Raph explained. "leo said we're done for the day." Raph looked over at leo looking over the edge. He walked over to his brother and looked down. "ooh-ho-ho your stalking a girrrllll." Raph pointed out as he stood tall and confidentiality. Leo stood up from "i am not! Im just seeing if this girl is who i think she is." Raph rose a brow with his arms crossed. Leo rolled his eyes "fine im kinda stalking her." "Why??" Mikey asked. "I think its the girl ive been talking to. Also raphs been talking to." "Also me." Mikey included himself. "how come i havent met her??" Don asked feeling left out. "well i stole raphs phone to talk to her." Mikey explained.

Y: okay got my weener! 😂

Leo looked down at his phone. "oh shes texting u right now??" mikey asked enthused. "Maybe.." leo answered without looking at mikey and his brothers as he texted you. "Ooohh let me see!" Mikey tried swiping it from leos hands to only let leo dodge. Don slipped it out of his fingers as he blocked leo with his bo staff twirling in front of leo blocking him. "sorry my brothers are distracting me." Don read aloud. "give it back!" Leo demanded as he tried grabbing it from his tall brother. Looking completely short compared to his little brother. Leo stopped As he huffed annoyed at his brother as he scrolled through the convo. Leo then Drew his sword and whacked his brother on the wrist with the handle. The phone dropped out of his grasp and leo swooped down with his hand and saved it.

Y: ??

L: sorry my brother took my phone away as a joke cause hes a Jackass.

Leo typed as he spoke aloud everyone what he was typing. "a jackass huh?" Don rose a brow as he crossed his arms "yes. Now im leaving to somewhere else. Where u cant bother me." "Dude. We know where u live. We can take the phone any time we want." Mikey informed him. Leo flaunting his phone as he said " i can hide my phone." He smirked and then jumped to the next building. he lost you. His brother's distracted him for too long.

Y: so whatcha doin?

L: just walking around still. Wbu

Y: oh just walking home. My stomach doesnt feel to Good. That hot dog didnt agree with me at all.

L: sue em'

Y: lol no ty. Idk why but i really wanna go to an art museum or something. Weirdest craving ever.

L: lmao well imma head home. Ttyl y/n 🤓

Y: 😊😎

[officialkendallroy]

i fucking hate the age of streaming services so much why do i need 3 different streaming services to watch all of the jackass movies

[officialkendallroy]

i fucking hate the age of streaming services so much why do i need 3 different streaming services to watch all of the jackass movies