#also yes i do have 1423 songs in my likes as of today

[elletromil]

The great thing about being a 'let's put the same song on repeat for the next 3 months without listening to any other song on the album' type of music enjoyer, is that sometime when i grow into despair because i feel myself moving on from said song and i just know none of the 1423 songs in my likes are gonna do it, sometime i get to go 'you know that song from 2006 i still have in my rotation now? I dont think i've ever listened to any other song from that band'

And then i go listen to all their discography and go 'hot damn, so many new songs to put on repeat over the next few months :D'

[thank-you-for-the-vampire-money]

ONLY FOREVER (Part 10-finale)

Series Summary:  Steve has never asked a girl to dance, but he’s finally found the right partner.  But something always gets in the way.

A/N: ENDGAME SPOILERS also yes, I know the song “Only Forever” was released in the 50′s but it’s a sweet song, okay?

Steve Rogers x reader

Word count: 1423

Summary: Steve has been gone for years, but he still owes you a dance.

Warnings:  grieving, pretending loved one is alive? depression ENDGAME SPOILERS

Part 9

(GIFs not mine)

You hadn’t even gone to the funeral.  Not that there was a body to bury anyway.  All they found was that stupid “Tesseract” they were looking for.

The whole nation and its allies mourned the tragic death of Captain America.  But you mourned the heroic end of Steve Rogers.  You hadn’t gone to the funeral, but you visited his grave every day, rain or shine.  His grave marker was right next to his mom and dad’s, just like he wanted.  At least they got to see him again; he was with Bucky too.

You’d visit his grave, press your lips to the photograph of your fiance in a featherlight kiss before resting white flowers by the headstone.  Steve loved white flowers.  Yellow ones too.

Everyday you’d greet him, as if he could hear you.  Hopefully he could hear you, you always had a lot to tell him.  “Hi cutie, I miss you…” you’d squeak, trying to kneel down comfortably on the grass, “so Peggy called to see how I was doing… I spoke to her for a bit… she’s very nice…”.  You’d talk to him about anything and everything; he was the one person who fully listened to you.

Today was different though.  Today was an ugly day, despite the sunny sky and temperate weather.  Today, instead of white or yellow, you brought purple- they were more special, unique.  Today, you didn’t talk to Steve.  Today, you kissed his picture, whispering, “tonight, my place… six o’ clock… don’t be late,”.  Today was the day you and Steve planned to get married.

You went home and cleaned the house and freshening up the garden so it’d look good for your… husband.  You put on your special red and black dress and the string of pearls you had been saving for your wedding day.  You did your hair in the way Steve likes and did your makeup all cute and simple.

Once the clock hit six, you walked into the kitchen and served dinner for two, one plate across from the other.  You made roast beef and mashed potatoes, Steve’s favorite.  You sat down at the table and served two glasses of wine, taking off your engagement ring so it wouldn’t get dirty as you ate.

That ring taunted you.  It was a constant reminder of your lost love.  But at the same time, it was such a comfort, reminding you of your lost love.  It was so special to you.  Not only did Steve think you were worthy of marrying, he trusted you with the ring his mother gave to him before she passed away.  You hoped you had made Sarah proud… you really hoped she would have approved of you.  Maybe she and Steve were watching you right now.

After dinner and the homemade dessert you baked, you washed and put away the dishes quietly, careful not to splash and get your dress wet.  “Now, are you ready?  We’ve been waiting a long time for this…” you sighed, talking to the empty dining chair you had saved for Steve.

You quietly took out your Bing Crosby record and put on the player.  “I found a really romantic song you’d like…” you sniffed, trying to keep up your act.  But who were you keeping it up for?  You were the only one here.  The only one…

You started the phonograph, moving your couch, table, and chair back to make room for you and.. You and Steve.  “This is long overdue…” you sighed, smiling at the nothingness you pretended was Steve as you were on the brink of tears.  You pretended to put your hands on Steve’s shoulder and in his palm, taking a deep breath as you imagined Steve was really there, holding you.  You were going to have the dance with Steve you never got.

You took the first step as the beginning notes of the song played.  “Knock knock knock,” someone rasped at the door.  You grumbled, rolling your eyes as you stopped the record to answer the door.  You couldn’t even finish the dance with Steve in his afterlife!  Ridiculous…

You opened the door, trying not to show how upset you were with them for interrupting your evening.  “Hello- AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”you shrieked, falling to the floor in shock at the sight before you.

“(Y/N), sweetheart, are you okay?!” Steve gasped, the REAL, IN PERSON Steve!

“No! NO!” you cried.  Holy shit, did you really descend this far into madness?!  “You’re not real, you’re not here… you’re dead… you’ve been dead for two years…” You sobbed, begging for the illusion to stop.

Steve looked at you softly.  “No, I’m here, I’m real, it’s me,” he whispered gently reached his hand out.

“Don’t touch me!” you cried, causing Steve to retract a little bit.  You looked up, hoping the illusion would go away.  But he was still there…

“It’s me,” Steve gulped, looking into your eyes.

***

“Are you serious?” you huffed, raising an eyebrow at him.  This literally wasn’t possible.  “You’re telling me you were stuck in a coma under ice for seventy years, joined a team of ‘Avengers’, and came here via time travel after you saved the world from a power-mad titan?” you summarized, trying to wrap your brain around the subject.

Steve nodded.  “Yes, that is exactly what I am saying,” he shrugged, barely able to believe it himself.

You paused for a moment.  “That’s it, I’m crazy…” you laughed, standing up from the couch to go to call Peggy for help, “I’ve officially lost my marbles,”.

“No, no, please, (Y/N) you have to believe me…” he stammered, grabbing your wrist to keep you from leaving.  But you fought away from him.  “Please, (Y/N), please, I literally traveled through time for you, please!” he begged, but you kept fighting.

With one pull, he brought you into his arms against his chest, kissing you deeply.  Seventy years worth of pent up longing and love pouring out from his soul into you.

That was your Stevie.  You had dreams like this and those dreams’ touch was not like this.  It was empty.  This… was your Steve.  Alive, comforting, holding you in his arms, right then and there.

“I missed you…” you whispered, tears finally spilling, “it’s been so long,”.

“I know (Y/N),” he grinned, cupping your face in his palms, so happy to be in your arms.

You grinned, burying your face in his chest as you hugged him tightly.  You wanted to stay there forever, holding him tightly, inhaling his scent and feeling his embrace.  But Steve had a better idea.

“Y’know I still owe you our first dance…” he reminded, looking at the cleared space you arranged, “I think it’s time we finally went through with it,”.

You beamed, nodding excitedly.

You both stood in the center of the area rug, the record playing the intro to the song again.  Your heart pounded against your ribs as you held Steve’s hand, chest-to-chest with the love of your life.  Both of you were extremely nervous.  It had been so long and you were both so emotionally vulnerable with the events of the time passed.  Part of you wondered if another tragedy would strike, interrupting you two again.

Steve took a breath, then the first steps, leading you sweetly and confidently as you followed his footing.

“You learned to dance,” you beamed, looking up at him with sparkling eyes.

“I’ve had seventy-six years to practice,” he smiled, kissing your temple as you followed his lead.

“We’re doing it… we’re actually doing it…” you chuckled, overwhelmingly happy, “no interruptions,”.

“No interruptions,” Steve agreed, laughing with you, unable to take his eyes off you.

You leaned your head against his chest, closing your eyes as you let yourself get lost in the moment, listening to his steady heartbeat.  This was perfect…

“You kept it on?” Steve asked, playing with the ring on your left hand.

“Yeah… you proposed to me and I wasn’t going to marry anyone other than you,” you chuckled, “and… and it made me feel connected to you while you were gone,”.

He smiled, looking into your eyes, so filled with love and joy.  He slowly leaned down, lips brushing against yours affectionately before fully kissing you, casting his spell on you all over again.  This was your Steve; your cutie.

“Will you stay this time?” you asked, looking up at him, hoping he’d give you the answer you were looking for.  You couldn’t lose him again…

He smiled at you, blue eyes still shining.  “Only forever,”.

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