#also yes butch strong bad so real | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

athetos · 6 months ago

Text

I’ve been thinking a lot about the expectations placed on butch lesbians both inside and outside of the queer community. As soon as I was able to dress myself and pick out my own wardrobe I started presenting masculinely, and while I wasn’t aware of it at the time, I felt a lot of pressure to be “exemplary” as compensation for my lack of gender conformity. I felt the need to prove myself to others, namely gender conforming straight cis people, and pushed myself to excel in school, at my hobbies, and be an all-around “likable” person. As though to make up for my shortcoming of being butch. When my grades inevitably slipped in high school, thanks to a combination of undiagnosed adhd and stress, it almost felt like I lost my identity, my one “redeeming” factor. I became a chronic people pleaser, because I felt if people liked me, they could see past my “flaws.” This is still something that I struggle with today, perhaps even more so now that I openly identify as butch, and feel like I’m representing my community. Some of the worst judgement I’ve faced hasn’t been from loud and proud homophobes, but from the subset of gender conforming cishet women who see me as a threat.

Within the greater queer community, butches are expected to be chivalrous, capable, hardworking, brave, good in bed, strong, and protective. We are assumed to be dominant tops. If you have a problem, a butch is expected to fix it. I embody some of these traits, and am proud of them. Others, not so much. As a submissive bottom, I have to constantly shut down people who expect me to be their aggressive top. The thing is, butches are expected to handle any and everything that comes our way, which is oftentimes far more than we can handle. Would I defend my siblings if it came down to it? Yes, to my last breath. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? The butch martyr. A commonly used fiction trope in queer media, and a common occurrence in real life. I definitely don’t think it’s a bad trope in fiction (my favorite novels all fall into this at some point or another), but it echoes how we are perceived in real life. The expectation that, perhaps, butches have to suffer.

And I resonate with that, which might not be a healthy thing. Hell, the title of my blog at the time of this post is “your local butch Paladin.” But I don’t want to be hard, uncompromising, and brave all of the time. I want to be soft and warm, too. Sometimes, I’m the one who needs protection. We all do. I fear that sometimes butches aren’t respected as people. Sometimes, it feels like we’re just seen as sex objects, or guardians that can carry any burden. I’m not interested in being a full-time caretaker, or the sole rock in a relationship. I want to be taken care of, too.

At the same time that I embrace the expectations placed on me as a butch, I also reject them.

I’m just rambling; I’m not really sure if I have anything original to say. This has definitely all been said before, by writers far more eloquent than me. I just hope you all think about how you treat butches, and question why that is.

#butch #okay to reblog but I’m not really expecting this to get outside my circle on here #so I can. not account for every nitpick someone might have for how I wrote this

19 notes · View notes

thegeminisage · 6 months ago

Text

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME. friday we FINALLY kicked off ds9 season 4 with "way of the warrior" pts i & ii and oh my godddd:

firstly, i miss sisko''s hair. the beard looks GREAT it's a HUGE improvement but i miss his hair!! i also kinda miss kira's really butch cut. jadzia's hair is still touch and go...important ds9 topics

drilling changeling combat with odo is SO fun. but like also, such a dramatic turn from like, s1, when he pretends to be objects and doesn't want anyone to remember he can do this, because he wants to be able to spy on them. it's fun and funny etc but i could also write an essay about it. he's allowing his body, once a subject of scientific study that traumatized him, to be used again by his allies as a…if not subject of study again, exactly, a teaching tool. he's teaching them how to find and contain and maybe even hurt his people but at the same time HE IS USING HIMSELF TO DO IT he is ALSO TEACHING THEM HOW TO HURT HIM. yes, they're comically bad at it NOW, but they're just getting started, and it also illustrates how horrifically underprepared they are for his people to come and fuck with them at any time. i can't keep thinking about odo i'm going to make myself insane

spn has traumatized me bc i was half convinced yates was a changeling for most of this episode, since she was in and out so often. but he just gets to have a girlfriend!!! i think it's kind of a shame he never seemed to get any romantic chemistry with the rest of the cast…picard and janeway and kirk all get love interest from the main cast…but i still love watching him flirt and make eyes at this lady

THOLIAN MENTION!!!! my beloveds…someday i wanna see what they look like

julian and obrien doing…whatever it was with the peas. they scripted shot and greenlit this. he is suffering so bad without his wife

I KNEW THEY WOULD START JUST FUCKING CUTTING EACH OTHER EVENTUALLY. right across the palm, too. like speaking of being traumatiozed by spn. jesus.

what in the sweet lesbian fuck was going on with dax and kira in the holosuite…kira basically said no matyter how sexy this is it isn't any good if it isn't real and dax DIDN'T immediately fuck her? star trek's cowardice when it comes to gay people ESPECIALLY dax she's literally kissed women off screen. come on

ODO DRINKING HIMSELF!!! HELLO?

garak getting racially profiled and jumped in his little shop :(

and then we get to WORF……………tbh i was so worried about him changing the atmosphere and i really liked how the atmosphere was already. but the s4 atmosphere is already different in a great way. it was a serious episode w a serious plot yet i was giggling nonstop. and klingon stuff is SO dry on tng and so lively on ds9. idk why i was worried. i am very sad they prince zuko'd him again though

also, the wof/obrien tng reunion…….besties :')

ALSO lol when he ordered prune juice and quark laughed at him and worf gave him the look. this is the most i have liked quark in like an entire season i'm so afraid something bad will happen and ruin it

the dax/worf comes on a little strong ESPECIALLY when i am still sooo :( over no riker e worf e deanna content but they ARE fun to watch. dax seems like a natural choice too since curzon was buddies with so many klingons, i just wish she was SLIGHTLY less forward...this is his first episode...give it time to breathe. maybe odo/kira and bashir/garak has just got me stuck on slow burns for ds9

i do like worf's position here too…he's always stuck in the middle of klingon and starfleet bullshit. it sucks that he got racially profiled YET AGAIN but at least sisko was like "and you absolutely do NOT have to do this" instead of putting on the pressure like picard talking to a bajoran. also, him starting a bar fight on purpose was great

worf and odo conversation………..theyre gonna be so grumpy w each other and i cannot wait

i missed gowran. his eyes are so huge. i didn't always really care when he showed up in tng but somehow he and his enormous eyes have become really special to me. same genre of character as dukat i think

at first i thought sisko was dadding worf a little and maybe he was a TINY bit but i also think it's nice that he's just seeing himself in worf and trying to help him out. i liked all of their conversations a lot because sometimes people are weird about worf being klingon and sisko was actually totally normal and respectful about it. he would never be like worf kill yourself. never.

sisko was SO good in this ep i love when he bends the rules also. getting measured for a new suit and letting garak overhear shit on purpose is very clever but at the same time he's not even trying to be subtle. he knows the right thing to do isn't always following the rule book and he's not even pretending he can do both. unlike PICARD. i think he went bald to flex on picard actually like he does do it better love and light to sir patrick stewart

bashir advising his little guys in the infirmary…please he's so in charge. i also loved him and odo very earnestly wishing each other safety int eh upcoming attack. THEY'RE FRIENDS!!!!!

dukat and sisko were gay this whole episode. i think very seriously there should be a sisko/dukat movement just like there's a bashir/garak movement. i didn't think much of dukat first but i like him more every time i see him. he's just really funny and also gay

quark and garak talking about the cloying qualities of humanity over root beer ??? that was also gay. again, quark in this episode…a breath of fresh air. for once he's just being the fun kind of horrible. also when he wanted to defend his bar and rom stole his weapon lol "i will kill him" "with what?" i love odo sm

i love that kira pointed out the irony of her saving and GETTING STABBED for the cardassian government. times have CHANGED WORF LOOKS GREAT IN RED! he's not head of security anymore but i like that he gets a thinker's job…"worf is a big ugly dumb brute" jokes were OLD AND TIRED on tng!!!

anyway, s4 seems amazing so far. it's almost everything i already liked about ds9 but much more serious and funny at the same time. i will miss the post-war atmosphere since we're not mid-war again but i am really excited to see where it goes

TONIGHT: voy's "non sequitur" and "twisted."

#personal #star trek blogging #ds9 lb

7 notes · View notes

alarajrogers · 2 years ago

Text

Dream log

The whiplash in my dreams is sometimes hilarious.

The available reality, the world that exists, is a circle with an edge that goes around three times. (I have tried, while awake, to figur out what the fuck this means, and the best I can get is that the circle is the top of a cylinder, viewed straight down, and the edge is a spiral? In the dream, however, this is not the case. The edge goes around three times.) There is a river running around the edge. I experimentally extend the river into the part that would be the fourth time around, which is not real. This creates an area of river that is not actually reality, and things in this area start to slowly fade out of existence. I investigate. There's a barrier at the far end of the river where it stops, and a much smaller, easier to traverse, barrier at the edge of reality, and all the space in between, and all the hallway that runs alongside the river (yes, I said hallway) is not actually real, but you can go in it. You just shouldn't. I am trying to figure out how we can maybe move the far barrier nearer so that it actually blocks off the unreal part of the river, when a teleporting monster teleports my youngest child (who is like 5 in the dream) to the far end of the hallway, squarely in unreality. I pursue even though I know this could dissolve me. When I reach my child, there is a staircase below me, but I am upside down; gravity is reversed on the other side, where things are real. I lower my child through the space between flights, where people in the real can grab them and pull them to safety. But now I am drained, and start to fade out of reality. I am rescued by a woman named Janeane Garofalo, who does not look anything at all like the comedian of that name even though I think she's supposed to be; she's a big red-haired butch who's fat and strong and very, very solid, so she can safely survive unreality longer than I could, and she carries me back to the real.

My youngest child (now about 8) and I are in New York City shopping for sparkly purple beads and sequins that we are going to sew into a star on their shirt. People working at the department store we are in are rather unhelpful.

Later on there was something about a trip to Mexico with Donald Trump, who was an absolute has-been no one gave a shit about, which had ironically improved his personality very slightly. He had these snacks that were like bread pudding bites that were very tasty, and also Korean fried chicken wings.

Quite aside from my dreams having an obsession with food (seriously, the worst nightmare I've had in years involved saccharine-covered apple fritters that were all that were available for me to eat, because I was told that I had ordered them; this is despite the fact that I've more recently had a dream about a black hole destroying the earth. Saccharine-covered fritters are actually that bad. It wasn't just the saccharine, they were also like hockey pucks), I think it's absolutely hilarious that I have this action-packed, weirdly philosophical dream in which reality absolutely does not work like it actually does, followed by a dream about shopping for decorations for a child's shirt.

2 notes · View notes

mithliya · 2 years ago

Note

Some context for the astrology in Asia thing is that there was a period (I believe in Korea) where a bunch of girls were aborted just because they were going to be born in a certain astrological year (Year of the White Horse I believe) that meant that they would be strong and independent and people didn’t want their girls to be that way. And now that that generation is older the boys in that age group know pretty much nothing about it, and the girls are being told that they should be grateful that they were allowed to live. Idk for sure if this is something that has occurred “for centuries” but if it’s happened once it’s likely it’s happened before. Actually, somewhere else in Asia (India?), women who were born in a certain time were deemed unlucky, right? And they were made to marry trees and then have the tree cut down before they married a man because the belief was that the nature of their birth meant that they were doomed to have their lover die prematurely.

But back to female-malice. Pretty much she’s saying “cars are bad for the environment so developing your personality around it is kinda not great” and “lesbians are different from each other because we’re all individual people and not copies of each other and the one thing that connects us is our love for other women, not some style or interest or hobby” and “masculine & feminine aren’t real and butch and femme are based on masculine and feminine so how do we intend to eliminate the concepts of gender roles if we use them to define our styles?”

I honestly have, for a while, wondered to myself about butch and femme and how they fit into radical feminism because of the fact that they are based in the arbitrary ideas of masculine and feminine that we are trying to get rid of, but I haven’t really thought too much on it because I’m not a lesbian so I didn’t feel like it was my place to comment on that, and since I’m not a part of the culture it’s possible that there’s something about it that I’m missing or don’t know about

Also I’m sorry we’re all bringing this drama about another person to you when you’re not even really involved in any way other than being a lesbian also

what you told me about the astrology & abortions stuff sounds familiar to me. i think i had heard of it before. but i would argue that the misogyny is not necessarily from astrology itself but rather the idea that girls shouldn’t be xyz and therefore they’re better off not being born than be those things so like. misogyny drove that behaviour rather than astrology itself? but that’s definitely messed up. never heard of the india thing tho.

and yeah i generally understood the same of her statements. i would disagree about butch being arbitrary tbh because there’s a level of gender non-conformity that butches display that makes them a visible target for homophobes and ppl that hate female gender non-conformity. yes they’re all social constructs ultimately but not social constructs that don’t play into the treatment of others if that makes sense? like i’ve seen my gf face a lot of bs from people for being an asian butch lesbian. if she wasn’t butch, they likely wouldn’t be able to guess that she’s a lesbian & be shitty to her accordingly yanno. and if she wasn’t butch, they wouldn’t be weird to her in many ways. so like i kinda agree but also i do see a point to terms like butch especially bc butches are alienated and othered and mistreated etc and so ofc many identify strongly with that aspect of themselves bc of how marginalised & hated it is. with femme, i personally do not see the point in itself besides it being a term complementary to butch or being a shortcut term.

1 note · View note

independentzaun · 2 years ago

Note

*sneaks this in* Elise and Renata? A, D, L, T & Z for the NSFW thing? (No pressure to answer ofc. simply curious :3)

(Renata/Sevika and Elise. If I write Sevika it’s out of habit, and I can’t be bothered to correct lol)

A ─ After care. Sevika is a very strong advocate of after care albeit mostly the giving of. She’s not used to anyone ever wanting to help take care of her, and so even if she ends up suffering from “top drop” Sevika wont ask for anything and will just suffer through it till she gets back to normal. However she is very good at providing it, and will do her best to make sure her partner comes back smoothly and as easily as possible. Yes she does in fact give the best cuddles.

D ─ Dreams. Wet dream is a… strong term and I don’t know if I’d go that far. However has Renata had fantasies? Oh sure. Not a lot because she’s just not the type to idly fantasize really. Would she want those fantasies to come true? Sure why not. What are they?… Weirdly enough I think there might be a vague thought in the back of Renata’s mind that has to do with taking Elise to Noxus to lay out on a private beach and just be comfortable and warm and together and start making out and just be giggling and having fun and moaning and just not have to worry about all the inevitable stress that comes with Zaun.

L ─ Lingerie. So first of all, if Elise asks Renata to wear something honestly she very likely would. Assuming it was something sexy, and not to restrict her or something. Renata is butch, and prefers dressing a certain way however she has no issues putting on a dress or something lacy and cute from time to time. With that said if the request is just “can you wear something sexy” there’s a real good chance it’s going to be a sports bra, and workout shorts or something to just show off all of Renata’s physique.

Second yes Renata absolutely enjoys seeing her partner in lingerie, and this might be a bit of a boring answer but what she finds sexiest is whatever makes her partner feel most confident about themselves. She will enjoy a femme partner all in lace and delicate things and garters who loves being dressed up just as much as she would another butch whose in a button up shirt they left open and blue jeans that are opened up and unzipped. As for “other clothing” honestly… She’s six foot three, muscular, and broad shouldered. Yes she absolutely loves seeing someone wearing one of her shirts, or her poncho or something similar and even more when there’s nothing else other than that.

T ─ Turn ons & offs I think Sevika and Elise have discussed things yes. There’s probably things neither have thought to mention, but Sevika isn’t shy and absolutely wants to know what’s a “do not do” type thing and is entirely willing to have that discussion about good things and bad things. She likes exploring, and learning things as she goes but she’s also well aware in the middle of sex is not the right time to suddenly find out that X Thing is a trigger for your partner. As for turn ons/offs exactly, honestly I’m not sure currently. I do know Sevika isn’t exactly hard to get the attention of, and so if Elise wants some fun times together so long as there isn’t something to keep it from happening she’s probably going to be successful.

Z ─ Zones. I think the more times they are together the more they get to know each others zones. Sevika is absolutely the sort to ensure that she makes use of all the spots Elise enjoys attention, and also generally isn’t shy about letting her partner know if it’s a good spot or not. So I think they’d pay attention to such things.

#elisethetraveller #sevikaanswers

1 note · View note

qqueenofhades · 3 years ago

Text

20+ Books That You (Might Actually Want) To Read During Pride Month!

Right, so. I got annoyed after seeing the list referenced in this post last night, told myself that my books are all packed up so I couldn’t do anything about it, and lasted all of a whopping 10 minutes before picking up my phone and attempting to make my own list instead. Behold, my from-memory attempt to present 20 books with strong LGBTQ plots, characters, and/or authors, that DON’T just rely on Suffering and Identity Politics and are... you know... fun.

Listed in alphabetical order by title. Links take you to Bookshop.org, where you can buy them from your local independent bookstore at a discount and NOT from the evil empire.

1. A Master of Djinn – P. Djeli Clark * author of color * steampunk Cairo in 1912 * djinn! magic! murder mystery! * butch Arab lesbian main character * devout hijabi Muslim badass assistant * anticolonial alternate history

2. An Accident of Stars – Foz Meadows (Sequel: A Tyranny of Queens) * trans author * bi, pan, trans, aro representation * racially diverse characters * all female POV characters * high-fantasy world adventures

3. Boyfriend Material – Alexis Hall * queer author * look I love this book SO MUCH and have absolutely screamed about it before but also I LOVE IT SO MUCH * contemporary M/M fake dating in modern London, complete with full cast of disaster found-family queer friends * it is. fucking. HILARIOUS. I almost died the first time reading it * there is a sequel called HUSBAND MATERIAL scheduled to be released in 2022; I am a normal amount of excited for this book

4. Gideon the Ninth – Tamsyn Muir (Sequel: Harrow the Ninth) * the book cover says “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted palace in space!” * that is exactly what you get * slow-burn enemies-to-lovers F/F main romance * I cannot describe this book, it is dark, genre-bendy, science fiction-y, Hunger-Games-with-lesbian-necromancers-in space? Kinda? I have literally never read anything like it * also fucking HILARIOUS

5. One Last Stop – Casey McQuiston * queer author (who wrote Red White and Royal Blue) * bisexual fat girl from the South/lesbian-daughter-of-Chinese immigrants from the 1970s-riot-grrl main romance * time traveling mystery involving the Q train in Brooklyn (mentions Brighton Beach ahem) * magical realism * many more found-family chaotic queers including a trans Latino psychic and a Black accountant by day/drag queen by night and the mean little gay disaster who has a hopeless crush on them

6. Parasol Protectorate (series) – Gail Carriger * this is one of my favorite series, and there are five books: Soulless, Changeless, Blameless, Heartless, and Timeless * steampunk vampires/werewolves late Victorian London, like Jane Austen crossed with P.G. Wodehouse (they are all fucking hilarious) * pretty much everyone is queer; we got your flamboyantly camp gay vampires (Lord Akeldama ftw!) We got your gay werewolves! We got your lesbian French inventors! We got your big disaster idiot werewolf main male love interest! We got your crazy adventures! You name it we got it! * two spin-off novellas: Romancing the Werewolf (M/M) and Romancing the Inventor (F/F) * she has a ton more books in this same universe and writes sexy queer supernatural romance as G.L. Carriger

7. Plain Bad Heroines – Emily M. Danforth * queer author * historical horror-comedy set between a haunted girls’ school in early-1900s New England and in the modern day * all sapphic female main characters * plays with style/form/voice, a story within a story within a story

8. Red White and Royal Blue – Casey McQuiston * you’ve probably heard of it but here I am reccing it again * the biracial son of the first female POTUS falls in love with the Prince of England; shenanigans absolutely ensue * yes, the British monarchy still absolutely sucks a big fat dick * hilarious, heartfelt, reads like fanfic, just go get it, it will change your life

9. Rosaline Palmer Takes The Cake – Alexis Hall * same author as Boyfriend Material, this is his newest * bisexual female protagonist * absolutely perfect satire of The Great British Bake Off (you can tell this man has watched EVERY SINGLE SERIES and all of the holiday specials) * sweet and surprisingly thoughtful

10. Starless – Jacqueline Carey * genderqueer/transmasculine main character of color * almost all main characters are brown people! * lush Middle Eastern/India-inspired fantasy world * gods, prophecies, monsters * the best Oh God Why Me I Am A Horrible Mentor wise-old-mentor

11. The Future of Another Timeline – Annalee Newitz * nonbinary (they/them) author * time travel but make it The Handmaid’s Tale * will probably make your head explode * feminist, queer, subversive * diverse characters

12. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue – Mackenzi Lee * queer author * technically YA but historical/magical adventure set in the 1700s * bisexual disaster main protagonist and love interest of color * (mis)adventures across Europe * has a sequel (see below) with the badass asexual sister of the protagonist

13. The Hate Project – Kris Ripper * nonbinary/genderqueer author * M/M enemies to lovers/sex with no strings attached (spoiler alert: strings attached) * HECKING HILARIOUS * sweet, escapist, and very low stakes * diverse characters, including fat protagonist with realistic anxiety disorder

14. The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy – Mackenzi Lee * PIRATES, obviously * sequel to Gentleman’s Guide * asexual female protagonist * strong queerplatonic f/f friendship * more historical/magical 18th century adventures

15. The Last Rune (series) – Mark Anthony * Imma be real with you chief, I haven’t read this series since I was a clueless teenager with no idea why I liked Gay Stuff so much, so if it does turn out to suck now, don’t throw rotten veggies at me * but especially since it was written in the NINETIES, this series was hella progressive?! * gay characters, disabled characters, characters of color, all playing significant and heroic roles in six-book epic fantasy cycle * people from Earth end up in high-fantasy world of Eldh * endgame M/M romance for the main character * books out of print, I think, but you can find them cheap somewhere like AbeBooks; first one (Beyond the Pale) linked above

16. The Library of the Unwritten – A.J. Hackwith * queer author * heaven-hell-Valhalla supernatural adventures * The Good Place x Good Omens x Lucifer x The Librarians * Pansexual Black badass female heroine * Queer found families * The Sassiest TM Bisexual Villain Turned Reluctant Hero (is he my favorite? Why on earth would you think that.)

17. The Priory of the Orange Tree – Samantha Shannon * epic doorstopper science fiction/historical fantasy set in a vaguely 16th-century world * main F/F romance between a queen and her sorceress bodyguard * sassy old gay alchemist whose backstory will give you Feelings * so many strong women and characters of color * no homophobia! marriage is fully gender-neutral, spouses are called “companions”

18. The Song of Achilles – Madeline Miller * likewise one you have probably heard of but still * a little light on the myth/historical part imho, but the writing is beautiful and will give you many feelings * M/M romance between Achilles and Patroclus * reimagining of The Iliad (her other book Circe is also really good)

19 The Stars are Legion – Kameron Hurley * all-female apocalyptic space opera * messy messy antiheroines * grimdark war fantasy * queer sci-fi drama

20. Witchmark – C.L. Polk * author of color * M/M romance * main character is a veteran and a doctor dealing with his own hidden magic and repressed war trauma * gaslamp fantasy set in a world reminiscent of post-WWI England * strong sibling relationship

#book recs #book recommendations #bookblr #happy pride #pride month #lgbtqia #long post

497 notes · View notes

liloelsagranger · 3 years ago

Text

Night shift - finally a new Rocketshipping-fanfiction

My dear friends,

it’s been a while since I last posted an entry. Let me tell you why and what, besides Covid-19, made me pause from publishing fanfictions over the last couple of months. Of course, Switzerland was very affected by the pandemic and still is today. We had numerous lock-downs or as Swiss people call it “slow downs”. My mother got very sick last year, I almost lost her. The doctors said she would only live two or three more days, but my mom is a fighter. She had to stay at the hospital for months, she endured countless medical examinations, had to take meds and slowly learned to live again. I’m so proud of my mother that she was strong and determined to get better. When she turned back home, I started to take care of her and I hate to leave her on her own, even if we’re talking about half an hour or less. Right now, she’s doing quite good, actually, we’re on vacation and she makes a great effort to participate in life in Italy. She’s my role-model! She will never be the same as before, but she won’t give up, she wakes up every morning to make progress. I prayed for her and her well-being, I prayed every single night she might get another chance and now we’re here at the beach and dining in fancy restaurants. It’s been a horrible year for everyone, a year full of sorrow, tears and desperation, a year where I was constantly afraid, the hospital would call me with some bad news, but she did it! She survived and she fights for her life! So proud! Good news is: I passed my doctoral exams and I’m officially allowed to call myself Dr. phil. des. Melanie C. but that won’t ever stop me from loving Team Rocket so here it is - a brand new Rocketshipping-fanfiction for you guys. LOVE YOU! Night shift

Chapter 1:

It was past ten o’clock when that miserable looking guy entered the diner. He inconspicuously sat down in the farthest corner of the café and immediately hid his face behind the menu card. Nevertheless, Jessie the waitress could make out the pathetic expression on his face, how he was cowering like a whipped dog. She had seen quite a bit in this diner. Drunks, thugs, addicts and other needy people who asked for a sympathetic ear, compassion and understanding, but that guy was different. He suffered terribly, but did not dare to communicate, instead he hid from the world so as not to attract attention and quietly endure his fate. Jessie had to do something about it. Of course, she didn’t want to play the Good Samaritan. She knew the tricks of the men who entered this diner. Most of the time, they told the waitress tall tales, hoping to be comforted, whatever they meant by that. But this young man did not make a shady impressionHe was well dressed, looked well-groomed, and Jessie was especially struck by his bright emerald green eyes, the only thing in his face that had not yet been veiled by grief and sorrow. She decided to do something about his displeasure.

“Did you have a rough day?” she asked while disinfecting the table.

He looked briefly into her eyes and nodded. “That’s one way to put it,” he answered, the gaze immediately lowered again.

This would be a taciturn conversation, but Jessie didn’t give up easily, she was a natural at making even rocks talk.

“Listen! No matter what happened, I’ve seen or heard some things. If I can help you in any way, my name is Jessie and I’m in charge of this table today. Let me just get the gum out from under your seat and get you a cold drink. What would you like?” She pulled a spatula from her apron and rubbed away the remains of the spoiled brats that marred her diner.

‘Wow,’ the young man thought to himself. ‘A strong, self-confident woman who lends a hand herself and who’s not above cleaning up dirt.’ Their eyes met briefly, and he forced a wry smile.

“You know, kid. You can’t rely on anyone. If you want to get everything done, do it yourself and don’t trust anyone. This world doesn’t give you anything for granted!” She briefly wiped the back of his chair before disappearing behind the counter and pouring the young man an ice-cold Coke.

“I have rarely seen you so concerned about a customer. Normally you show yourself aloof and only take the order, so as not to get involved in embarrassing conversations. Must be a really great pike, this pathetic creature in the far corner. Could it be that you’ve got a tiny crush on this guy?” For Eddy, teasing his best friend was the greatest pleasure. He didn’t know her like that. Jessie usually resisted any kind of small talk. This was due to her dark past, when she had repeatedly fallen for advances from men who were never looking for a steady relationship, but for a quick fix. Eddy had witnessed this bad time of his friend, how her heart was broken, how she was badly played with, and how she was simply dropped like a hot potato. Jack was the worst example of them all. While Jessie was already hearing the wedding bells ringing, he was making love to the women of the Strip and deceiving Jessie night after night with other broads. Jessie was devastated when she found out Jack was cheating on her. She was furious, not even at her lying boyfriend, but at herself for having been so stupid as to trust a man.

Jessie gave Eddy a light pat on the head. “Don’t be silly! That time is over. I can take care of myself, I don’t need male support for that. I’m a big girl, I make my own dough, and I keep my head above water pretty well. No, not a chance, I’ve sworn off flirting.” Nevertheless, she caught herself as her gaze wandered to the young man in the corner. “Oh yes, this time is definitely over,” Eddy smirked.

“Jessie, could you bring us a side of fries, please?” Misty’s order echoed throughout the hall. The twenty-year old waved her hands. She was used to speaking loudly, almost shouting, to attract guests to her daily water Pokémon show. Sometimes she walked up and down the streets of the Strip all day in the blazing hot sun, trying to win people for her underwater attraction. As an excellent student, she could have taught at any college, but she had decided early on to get into show business and make her living doing what she really loved, joined by Dewgong and Starmie. Her parents had not agreed with this decision at all, it was wasted talent, they had claimed, and had summarily turned Misty out the door. Since then, she had been struggling through life on her own, but could always count on Jess, the diner and her two best friends, Ash and Brock, young people who were also not favoured by fate.

“Temper your voice, twerp!” Jessie couldn’t help but grin. She spread the ketchup bottles around the table, hoping Ash wouldn’t spill on himself and the diner again. His constant companion Pikachu immediately hopped on his shoulder, grabbed a fry and popped it in his mouth. Ash and his Pokémon were carnies. He had trained his friend well and attracted many spectators with his performance. Most of them felt sorry for the guy and tipped generously. That’s why Ash was able to invite his friends to the diner every night, a place that gave them hope where they could experience security. They were convinced that nothing would ever disturb this idyll and that fate, for better or worse, had taken its course.

“Who’s that guy over there?” Brock wanted to know. He had barely sold chocolate and roses tonight. The others held back, but they were certain that their friend was just too pushy with women and that’s why he only collected rejections instead of green bills.

“I’ve never seen him here before. Must be from another area. I can’t tell you for the life of me why he’s wearing a suit at theses temperatures, he looks pretty pathetic to me anyways,” Jessie replied.

“Maybe his car has stalled,” Ash suggested, “and now he was forced to wander through the desert until the tasty aromas from your diner brought him back from his delirium.”

“Or,” Brock interfered, “he had to flee his own wedding because his wife is a real pain in the ass, unlike our sweet Misty,” Brock oohed at his friend. “Forget it, Brock! You and me, this will never happen!” She gave him a gentle poke.

“Enough now with your naïve speculations! Just let him enjoy his drink. We’re closing soon, so get going,” Jessie dismissed their absurd ideas with a wave of her hand, but at this point no one knew how right Brock was.

Dark thoughts hunted the young man. He knew what he would face at home if he was late. Beatings, torture, rebuke, harassment, were just a few words to describe his failed relationship. Unconsciously, he stroked his scarred arms.

“Can I get you something to eat?” Jessie pulled him out of the maelstrom of bad thoughts, of course she had noticed the wounds, but maybe he had gotten those injuries at work. The young man rummaged some coins out of his pants and let them jingle on the table. “Is that enough for a cheese sandwich?” Jessie hated small change, but she would make an exception for him. A friendly smile, a quick nod, and she passed on the order.

“Something’s wrong with this guy,” she whispered to Eddy. “He’s scarred, bruised and pays with penny coins. Possibly a vagrant.” Eddy couldn’t help but grin. “That guy’s been keeping you busy all night, Jess. What’s the matter with you? Are you getting weak?”

The young man could not overhear the conversation between the waiters, but he was sure they were talking about him. He sure made a rather frightening impression, but that was a private matter and not something you shared with a waitress in a diner.

His gaze drifted to the daily paper, which had two faces emblazoned on it: Butch and Cassidy. He had never heard of this odd couple, but according to the news, theses two were causing quite a stir and were terrifying the Strip.

“Oh, so you’ve already spotted them, those two knuckleheads! They keep the Strip in suspense, and heads roll when the taxes don’t add up,” Jessie served him the cheese sandwich and gave him a slight smile.

“Can I get you anything else?” He thanked her and took a hearty bite of his dinner.

The last half hour flew by and the remaining guests left the diner to spend the night on the Strip, as very few had a roof over their heads. Jessie set about cleaning up and Eddy checked the register.

The young man stood up and made his way towards the door. But before he left the diner, he glanced back at Jessie for a moment. A sigh escaped him. What if…?

Jessie returned his gaze and watched him go until the young man disappeared. She walked right up to his table and found a little note on the receipt.

“Thanks for treating me like a human being, James.”

48 notes · View notes

mypralaya · 2 years ago

Text

having very tangled Haven-adjacent thoughts about how we view victims/survivors and how like ok, so you know how being too masc is penalized in women but so is too femme? Like yes women in media who are hyper-feminine in a specific way are portrayed as bimbos and ditzes and there to be shown up by the Cool Girl. . .but the Cool Girl isn’t butch either. She’s sexy-looking and her clothes are def designed to show that, but in a “cool” and “tough” way that make it look like gosh she didn’t INTEND that, she doesn’t ever wear makeup yet her makeup is always perfect even in the most extreme situations, she eats like a construction worker and doesn’t care about her weight but is always going to have a super taut toned skinny body no matter what that is going to be displayed sooner or later, etc. She’s frankly WAY more of an impossible standard than just wearing dresses and makeup, while also being attractive and acceptable to straight male audiences; all her “tomboyishness” is specifically calculated for the male gaze. Masc and/or butch and/or gnc are in no way being elevated above conventionally feminine women here, NEITHER can be this because it requires not making an effort at conventional femininity while also reaping all its benefits without any of the penalization. That’s not a possibility in the real world. And I feel like the way media and by extension a lot of people view victims/survivors and their portrayal like that, like you have to hit this impossible sweet spot. I have A Lot of Feelings about how survivors are expected to Be A Certain Way to be worthy of sympathy and compassion, to be delicate traumatized flowers who are just sad in a fragile beautiful way, or, if they do lash out, it’s never at the wrong people or someone undeserving, and if you deviate from this you’re As Bad As Your Abuser. It’s also why, while I absolutely have so much love for very kind and soft pacifistic characters like Haven, I am very very dubious about posts praising people for being soft despite hardship or trauma and how strong and good that makes you because like. . .what does that say about people who aren’t still soft and kind and sweet? Are they bad? Weak? And why does a trait need to be labeled as “strong” to be worthy? I hate that “we have to call this STRONG” mentality, instead of just questioning why only strong traits are considered good. But back to my original point, I don’t think these posts MEAN to put down one kind of person at the expense of the other, and some DON’T because they word it right, but many don’t word it right and it comes off as “good job not being like THOSE PEOPLE” BUT AT THE SAME TIME I feel like you’re also penalized in a different way if you’re too passive or soft. If you aren’t seen as angry enough, or fighting back enough. I see a real strain of Not Like Other Girls in a lot of fiction that deals with trauma and abuse, in which our lead is Special because she always fights back every time and is therefore Better than the girls who just give up and accept it, because how dare they try to avoid being hurt even worse I guess. And maybe it’s just because I’m in a superhero fandom, but the “healing” journey for so many ---every, even--- abused traumatized figure inevitably involves them inflicting violence on others. Typically the people who abused them and then ever bad guys too, and I am not saying that’s a bad thing AT ALL, but it seems like it’s the only acceptable narrative. There’s a lot of “I am going to show I am NOT just a weapon by. . .killing a lot of people!” and not any “I am going to show I am not a weapon by living a peaceful life apart from all this shit and taking care of myself” and like I get that’s not what people are looking for in the superhero genre so I should maybe just look into other genres instead of complaining but I just feel like it speaks to this mindset that’s very entangled with Western toxic masculinity values---regardless of the gender of the person---about adversity making you strong (bc the torture and abuse and trauma is ALWAYS what MADE this person so cool and deadly regardless of how bad it’s portrayed) and dominating over all your enemies in the end and THAT being what “fixes” you so like, you can’t be too angry and bitter and definitely not to the wrong people, your trauma can’t be an inconvenience, but also if you’re NOT angry enough in a very specifically Badass way you’re not worthy of stories, just contempt, and it just feels like the “you should have fought back more” mentality under it all. You even see it in how some people will talk about how superior “survivor” is to “victim” because victims are so gross and sad and piteous and contemptible, like being a victim is the most disgusting thing in the world and it just feels like this very toxic mindset. . .whereas Survivor implies you’re a total badass (and also conveniently does not imply a perpetrator as the term “victim” does) and is much more in line with American cultural values

and I am NOT saying survivor is a bad term or should not be used for people who prefer it but I am saying the contempt and disgust with how many people will talk about victim, victimhood, how people use negative terms like playing the victim, perpetual victim, and so on, how characters like Cinderella are criticized for not standing up to her stepmother or not running away and how DARE she need outside help to save her, it reminds me of the Cool Girl issue. You can’t be too soft, you can’t be too hard. You can’t be traumatized in ugly aggressive ways, but if you’re not aggressive ENOUGH you’re stigmatized too as a worthless doormat who isn’t worthy of stories or representation and you’re A Bad Example. You have to be Black Widows and Wolverines, a Cool Badass Survivor whose trauma just makes them Cool and Badass and they kill a lot of people but it’s all BAD people and I also understand the value in that kind of fantasy but like idk I’m just kinda tired of these impossible dichotomies, and it came to mind because so many musings/quotes/inspiration posts I see just Don’t Work for Haven, because she’s not a “you’re so strong for being soft” person but she’s also not a “I am the weapon you made me and now I will turn against you, I am no mother I am no bride I am KING, some girls have sharp teeth, etc” either. Like I do think her power is in being soft and kind but also like. . .not in the very simplistic way these posts seem to imply? and like I said they also tend to imply NOT being that way is bad, in the same way that the opposite kind of posts tend to imply NOT being angry and hard is bad. . .and also maybe I just overthink everything and am nuts.

#meta #sorta #i know that haven is barely mentioned in this but she's what made me think of it #and i probably didn't phrase half this like i intended

5 notes · View notes

shortkingvi · 3 years ago

Note

I agree with everything you've said today about people's disdain for masc lesbians and how that relates to fandom portrayal of Yang too. Any thoughts to how this also relates to Catra bc from what I've seen, if someone on twitter even suggests the idea that they're not a fan of femme Catra, part of the fandom goes ballistic. iirc a few months back alot of shera artists drew femme catra just to "spite" a few people who were uncomfortable seeing her as femme. And spite is the keyword here, I saw it used alot. Like there's a difference between spiting incels and spiting other queer women. Idk that whole situation made me super uncomfortable as a masc lesbian myself.

ahhhhh yes i do indeed have a lot of thoughts on gender expression in spop!

let’s eliminate catra’s horde gear for a moment and look at her presentation in the moments when she gets to dress and express herself, namely princess prom and adora’s vision of the future,,,,,,,, we’ve got suit catra! both times, catra’s wearing a suit or suit adjacent, meaning she’s likely more comfortable presenting this way,,,,,,,

now, we can’t always go strictly based on clothing here because you could argue that femmes wear suits too or whatever, so let’s go on context clues,,,,,, in princess prom, catra leads during the dance,,,,,, since dance is often a space where gender is played out VERY traditionally, the narrative is positioning catra as masculine here,,,,,, combining her role as lead with her choice of clothing, the narrative gives us way more insight into catra as butch, futch, or just generally masc rather than femme or hyper femme

now, what gets me even MORE annoyed is the fandom assertion that SCORPIA is butch,,,,,,,, because obviously a large, strong woman with short hair MUST be butch right???? let’s ignore her inherent femme presentation in the story because big woman = butch, right?????? it takes a whole lot of not analyzing your own stereotypes to make the argument the scorpia isn’t femme

making a masc (or masc-femme) character like catra solely femme just to spite masc lesbians is SO hurtful and internally homophobic,,,,,,,, take a moment and think about why you’d want to “spite” masc lesbians,,,,,, is it because you think they are a bad representation of the community? is it because you are stuck in the idea of what men and women should look like? or do you just not care about canonicity so long as you’re fuelling your own projections?

part of it also has to do with ppl seeing adora as masc because,,,,,,,, she ra is buff???? idk what the rationale is there,,,,,,, anyways i think a lot of ppl are uncomfortable with the concept of masc lesbians dating each other because obviously we must remain in 1950s butch-femme dynamics to appease the hets,,,,,,, so, since they can’t POSSIBLY imagine buff adora being femme (because in their minds buff = strong = masculine) they have to make catra the femme one even at the expense of their own community members

we won’t even get into the racial connotations behind the demonization of masc women and who we perceive as “acceptably femme,” but in essence, i think anyone seeking to “spite” masc lesbians simply for looking at canon and going “this character is masc” needs to either meet some lesbians in the real world or begin to analyze the residual prejudices they’re holding onto

#sorry i’m apparently writing essays tonight #asks #anon

19 notes · View notes

henshengs · 4 years ago

Text

About Rule 63 fanworks

I was asked yesterday to elaborate on my genderbend opinions, as a trans person, which I’m happy to do, and I’ve thought about it a bit today to make sure I’m not saying something off the cuff and not thought through. Still, this is a sensitive, complicated topic, and I’m open to discussion on it.

This also got long, so I’m putting it under a cut.

So, obviously I can’t speak for all trans people. No minority group is a monolith in our opinions and this is particularly the case for the transgender community because our experiences are so very diverse and individual.

I am very rarely hurt or offended by genderbends/genderswaps/rule 63 fanworks. I know people for whom this is not the case, and I believe the pain involved is very real. The thing is... living in this world is inherently kinda painful when you’re trans. This world’s not built for us. All kinds of random things can cause me pain throughout my day. Store mannequins. My own reflection. Lesbian poetry. Pictures of other trans people. When something triggers my dysphoria or feelings of alienation, I have to stop, acknowledge the feeling, and then consider whether the thing is, outside of hurting me, contributing to the ignorance of and hatred of people like me by its very existence.

I don’t think the basic act of asking, “What if this character who is a cis man, was a cis woman instead?” does that. I think if anything, it opens the door to then ask “what if he was a trans man? Or a trans woman? Or nonbinary?”

Asking “what if this story was about a cis woman” lets cis women talk about their experiences and see themselves in stories, something I think is valuable! and also can lead to stories exploring sexism and misogyny, things which affect all trans people too!

In the rest of this post I’m going to use the terms “rule 63″ and “genderswap” to refer to the act of creating a fanwork changing a cis/presumed cis man to a cis or not-specified-to-be-trans woman, because this is the vast majority of the work under that label, because most fictional heroes and iconic characters are cis men, and because people who create cis man->trans woman or cis woman->trans man content, in my experience, usually use terms like “trans headcanon” instead.

(A lot of rule 63 fanworks don’t explicitly specify that the now-female character is cis. We can presume that most artists aren’t even thinking about the possibility of the character being trans, but we can presume that for 99.99% of all art, anywhere. It’s not a unique evil of rule 63.)

The claims that rule 63 is inherently transphobic, rather than just something where it’s good to be extra careful to avoid transphobia, as far as I’ve seen, use two arguments: A) that making the character a cis woman is wasting an opportunity to make them a trans person, and this is transphobic, and B) that rule 63 fan art is gender essentialist and cissexist, because it ties gender to physical characteristics.

Argument A doesn’t hold up for me,

because couldn’t one then say that reimagining an abled white cis character as an abled white trans woman is racist and ableist? that reimagining them as an abled trans woman of color is ableist? No transformative reimagining can cover every identity. We say “write what you know” and talk about Own Voices, and that includes cis women who want to write about the experience they know.

It’s also not fair to tell trans people that we must always think about trans experiences, even in our fiction. A lot of the time we don’t want to have to write or think about dysphoria and discrimination and we want to live in the heads of cis characters or even just characters whose AGAB is not mentioned!

And it is also, imo, not a great idea to pressure people who may not be educated about trans experiences to write about trans characters just because they want to explore sexism or write about lesbians.

many, many trans people first begin exploring their gender identity through creating cis rule 63 content, because it’s ‘safer’ than directly engaging with trans content.

With argument B, I agree that a lot of rule 63 art looks like this

and this sucks. To me, though, it’s important that it’s not the genderswap aspect that makes it suck. Artists who do this are also designing original characters with sexist, gender essentialist designs. Artists who don’t draw sexist art in general, also don’t draw sexist rule 63.

(yes, I know She-Hulk is not a rule 63 of regular Hulk. But you guys know the kind of art I’m talking about.)

I’ve also noticed a genre of fanfic that’s like, “if these characters were girls, they’d be sensible and conflict avoidant and none of the plot would happen!” or “what if these violent, tragic male characters were Soft Lesbians who braided each others’ hair” and again, I assume these authors write canonical women the same way. The genderswap part isn’t the bad part, the sexism is.

Non-sexist rule 63 actually, in my opinion, fights gender essentialism and cissexism. When a character is exactly the same except for the ways a gender essentialist world has shaped and pressured them based on their AGAB, that’s a strong statement on the constructed nature of gender!

But the argument that making /any/ change is gender essentialist, is... I understand where it’s coming from. I am a trans person who presents androgynously and I am a hypervisible freak because of it. I would love to live in a society where visible gender markers weren’t a thing! Unfortunately, we don’t live in that society. We live in one where we are constantly under pressure to conform to one of two profiles. There are almost no gender non conforming male characters in popular media. And changing a gender conforming cis man into a gender conforming cis woman seems to me to be a neutral action at worst. Not to mention characters from historical canons, who would be under a ton of pressure to conform.

For physical body type characteristics... 65% of all speaking roles in Hollywood are cis and male. It’s harder to get statistics on other forms of media, but it’s undeniable that overall, most stories are told about cis men who do not have breasts or wide hips. Changing the story to be about a cis woman who has those features is introducing more diversity!

I typed “rule 63″ and “genderswap” into the tumblr search bar today, and I saw a lot of art of women with a variety of aesthetics and body shapes and characteristics, who looked like people I’d see out at the mall.

Again, I sure do wish we lived in a post gender society. But we don’t, and in our society, everyone, myself included, looks at a picture of a person and gender categorizes them based on appearance. It is not wrong for someone to draw “Geralt the Witcher as a hot butch woman” and give her some physical markers generally agreed upon to denote ‘butch woman’ rather than ‘gender conforming man’ to tell the viewer that that is what they have drawn. Just as it is not wrong to draw “my OC who is a hot butch woman who fights monsters” and give her those markers.

Finally, both arguments against genderswaps are, in my opinion, flawed because they implicitly posit the act of creating fanworks of the original, cis male gender conforming character design, as neutral. I think this is incorrect. I think that if you’re going to argue that drawing a cis male character as a cis woman is transphobic, you have to also argue that drawing the character as a cis man is transphobic. But I’ve only seen people do this when a trans headcanon becomes extremely popular in a fandom.

Again, I’m just one person. I’m also biased, because firstly, as I mentioned, rule 63 doesn’t usually trigger my dysphoria; secondly, I almost always come down on the side of “don’t limit what people can explore in fiction; ask them to explore it more sensitively or with more content warnings instead.”

I definitely encourage creators to seek out and listen to a variety of trans opinions. But this is mine: I love rule 63, I make a lot of it myself, and I think if no one created it we’d lose something awesome.

At the end of the day, what I really want is more trans content*, but I’d rather have cis rule 63 than just stories about cis men.

Also: I personally have nothing against the terms genderswap or genderbend. I don’t think it reinforces the gender binary to acknowledge its existence by saying you’re ‘swapping’ the character from being cis with one AGAB to being cis with the other. But I can definitely see the argument against it, so I don’t blame anyone for going with rule 63 instead.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading; I hope you have a nice day, and have fun creating and consuming the fanworks your heart desires. I’ll end by linking this comic, which is just eternally relevant.

(*by which I mean: trans content created by other trans people, that matches my hyperspecific headcanons, likes and dislikes, and doesn’t set off any of my often changing dysphoria triggers. See what I said at the start, about transgender existence being constantly mildly painful. There are many awesome aspects to being trans! This is one of the less awesome.)

#rule 63

61 notes · View notes

pasta-abomination · 4 years ago

Text

I don’t even know if I should post about this but I feel like I have to say something because it is so profoundly painful that I think it needs to be said, and I’m carrying a lot of anger around with me as a result, and no one who’s saying these things (at least none of the people around me) deserves anger.

But I struggle to put into words how completely fandom has been ruined for me by completely arbitrary rules/discourse about fandom activities that I don’t even engage in.

The absolutist, hard-line defensiveness of lesbian-identified (it exists everywhere, but I have not run into it nearly as often in other spaces) fans in saying “you cannot ship these other ships because one of these characters is a canon lesbian—” (and oftentimes they aren’t, and the interpretation is based mainly on the fact that people identify with those characters) “—and if you ship this character with a male character that is lesbian erasure” is incredibly alienating and painful to me as someone who was assigned female at birth, grew up exclusively attracted to women, learned the vast majority of my politics from lesbians, share many experiences of erasure and trauma with lesbians (including the erasure and belittlement of my feelings for women & the importance of my relationships with them), and identified as a dyke for years (and I’m still more comfortable with “dyke” than “lesbian” because of how successful TERFs have been in hammering in that lesbians are women full stop, even the non-binary identified ones)

I don’t think the people saying these things realize just how deeply and clearly it sends the message that my not identifying as a woman all the time, my taking testosterone but not identifying as a man, my genderqueerness, my butchness, my navigation of my sexuality now that my physical hormone levels have changed—that it means I don’t get to write about complicated experiences or desires because I’m “erasing” other people. That I’m the “invader” in “their” space (which, that phrasing sets off my TERF alarm tbh) when this is the only place I’ve ever belonged. That it invalidates my identity, and in its own way, erases my experience by pretending that there is One Correct Way to be a lesbian, a dyke.

That I am too far to the masc side of the spectrum to have a voice or be part of this community when for years my understanding (based on my interactions in IRL lesbian spaces, with other lesbians who also ID’d as genderqueer) of this community was that it was a place for people with complicated relationships with their assigned sex and with their gender and with how gender operates in our culture—and yes, that includes sexuality and sexual & romantic attraction, because those things are inextricable from how gender operates in our culture.

You are saying that I don’t belong anywhere. You are saying that I’m too much of a minority within a minority to get to explore or express my feelings because someone I’ve never met who has no idea what my life is like might be reminded of painful experiences—experiences that we share. You are claiming that any expression of those complicated desires and embodiments, from the perspective of someone who experiences them and is sympathetic to them as a queer person, is literally the same as Hollywood and the entertainment industry’s demeaning and malicious portrayals of lesbian sexuality.

And I think you are wrong, and I could argue about that, but right or wrong doesn’t matter when it comes to things like this. More importantly, what you are saying is hurtful and damaging to the point that I cannot participate in fandom anymore. Fandom was a space for me to explore parts of myself that I do not get the chance to live in my daily life. To celebrate everything being queer could mean. To be my whole self.

But that is not what it has become, and I never expected to say this about fandom of all places, but I no longer feel welcome, because I no longer feel whole here. Even though nothing about the way I identify has truly changed. I am, and always have been, genderqueer and butch. I have tried other labels, but those two have never gone away.

But fandom no longer feels like a celebration of queerness in all its forms. It feels like I’m constantly walking on eggshells and cutting bits and pieces off my identity and my experience to avoid being lumped in with the very same people whose work I’m in here to celebrate, to queer (verb), to make more whole. The people who I am anything but, because I am and always have been queer, and even when I engage with M/F works, my approach has always been from a queer standpoint.

The irony is that so many of the people saying these things identify as non-binary lesbians. As in, at least by my understanding, having a complicated relationship with womanhood and gender as a whole.

What’s even MORE fucked up is that I don’t even engage in the kind of fan activities for those ships that they would consider “erasure”. They’re not really on my radar except peripherally. But I know that I have a relationship to those ships and experiences too. And being told I have to swear off even thinking about those experiences or I’m A Bad Invasive Transgender Who Needs To Man Up And Transition Fully And Stop Telling “Real Lesbians” what to do hurts. It feels like being asked to cut part of myself off.

Do I ship, say, Adora/Bow or Catra/Bow or Adora/Glimmer/Bow? Not particularly strongly. Nor do I feel negatively. I don’t have any strong feelings about the ships one way or another beyond, “Okay, I can see how someone might think they’re cute”. I would so much rather spend time talking about Mara/Light Hope or Catra/Glimmer or literally any F/F ship. M/F just does not move me or connect with me the same way. I engage with it usually in the context of headcanoning a canon cis character as transmasculine, enby, genderqueer, BPQ, or gay; or to explore the nuances of sexuality and romantic or non-romantic attraction in the context of a poly relationship.

And that’s what’s so fucked about this. I don’t have anything invested in Adora/Bow (for example). But I know that if I did, I would be In The Wrong to express that. I would be the bad guy. I would be disowned, looked askance at, possibly harassed. I would be judged, and I would be judged to be something that I am not.

I’m not asking for you to ship things that you don’t like. I’m not asking for you to read fics that headcanon a character you view one way, another way. I’m asking for you to recognize that there is no one single “lesbian” experience or expression, even if there are overarching general patterns. I’m asking you to please think, for just a second, that the people you are accusing of erasure are real people, and a real part of your community, too.

I’m asking you to please consider, the next time something like this comes up—what is this person getting out of their shipping? What are they exploring? Why are they attracted to this ship? We act like these have simple easy answers that you can figure out just by looking at what people ship, but that’s not always true. What tropes are they engaging? What traumas do these characters speak to for them? What aspect of gender or gender dynamic are they exploring?

I am asking that you allow people (and characters, because that is where this seems to start in fandom) ambiguity and complexity. I am asking that you allow queer people to write queer things even if they are not your queer thing.

Ultimately, though, what I’m asking you to remember is that even though I understand where you are coming from, even though I agree in many cases, this trend in fandom is so incredibly painful and othering and broadly accepted by people that it is almost impossible to be active in fandom anymore

and that hurts so much.

#fandom wank #there’s gonna be terfs on this post i just know it #but w/e

10 notes · View notes

vtmb2s · 4 years ago

Note

and Basics (1, 3, 7) + Life (9, 14, 15) + Wasteland (4, 10, 11, 12) for Sara >:)

BASICS

1. What are their SPECIAL stats?

Strength: 4

Perception: 7

Endurance: 6

Charisma: 4

Intelligence: 9

Agility: 7

Luck: 3

3. Which perks or traits would they have?

Traits don’t exist in fo3 unfortunately but she has the Daddy’s girl (tobey mcguire spider man voice look at little james jr.. gonna cry?), Educated, Little Leaguer and Swift Learner perks..... and Black Widow.

7. Do they have a preferred way of fighting, or do they avoid physical conflict?

She’d rather avoid physical conflict because she’s not very strong.. however she also has no charisma so fights are unavoidable <3 She mainly uses her good old baseball bat and laser weapons :-)

LIFE

9. Do they prefer to travel alone or with a companion or a group? Do they have many friends or connections otherwise?

She travels alone for the first half of the events of fo3... She’d rather have someone with her but that’s the way it is :( after James dies she just aimlessly wanders around the wasteland and makes friends i guess so she ends up with Butch and Dogmeat tagging along c:

Outside her 2 people and a dog gang she doesn’t have a lot of friends and she doesn’t even really consider Butch her friend because of the way he was in the vault -_- The only one she somewhat hangs out with are Moira.. and Bryan Wilks, that kid from Grayditch. Gets weirdly attached to some random kid who lost his dad too 😔 she ends up visiting him in Rivet City a lot after he starts living there with his aunt

14. What sort of things do they always carry with them?

Her old baseball bat.. nr one weapon even though it does little damage. Also a few keepsakes from the Vault.. her tunnel snakes jacket (yes its trash yes she still hates Butch at this point but it’s a nice little reminder of home), a stupid little friendship bracelet Amata made for her and her old favorite ribbon she has since she was about 10 <3

15. What do they do with their time besides try to survive? Do they have a proper occupation?

She technically had an occupation back in the vault.... Pip Boy programmer c: which was assigned of course and she’d rather be something else but it was okay for a vault job.

She doesn’t have a real job outside the vault anymore except the work she does for project purity. She likes to listen to old records in her free time (would love to go to dances like in pre-war movies too but she didnt have anyone to go with in the vault & they sucked anyway and nobody would do that in the wasteland). She likes astronomy though, she loves to stargaze and look at different constellations :) At least the emptiness of the wasteland means less lights so she can have a better look at the stars

WASTELAND

4. Which wasteland animal or creature are they most afraid of?

Centaurs duh 😖 she’s afraid of almost everything initially but centaurs are the one thing she’ll never get used to

10. Do they listen to the radio? Do they have a favorite station, song, program, etc.?

Fuck yes she does... all the time. She listens to GNR of course, she tuned in to the Enclave Radio for the first few days outside the Vault just to hear someone talk but eventually stops, for obvious reasons. The GNR songs are more fun, if a little repetitive. her favorites are mighty mighty man and easy living :-)

As for songs that aren’t on the game’s radio..... playlist time.

11. How do they feel about ghouls and other mutated (but otherwise non-hostile) people?

Omg she doesn’t have anything against them or anything and feels bad for them but they kind of scared her initially... asks rude questions, why they look like that and all that -_- it was out of curiosity and not to be annoying because she genuinely had no idea why they looked like that but yk.

12. What do they think about raiders? Slavers?

The first few Raiders she stumbled upon kind of freaked her out because she didn’t expect other humans would possibly attack her for no reason.. but they did. She hates them especially because they’re making this already shitty world even worse, even though they don’t have to.

#jennystahl #c: sara #thank u :-)#i can post spotify links bc no one reads these anyway #sorry these answers suck

7 notes · View notes

vennycreations · 4 years ago

Photo

First Picture:

Queen Snow White, King Charming White, and their daughter, Princess Ambrosia White

Ambrosia Blossom White Bio: Ambrosia is kind at heart and only has good intentions, though those intentions can come off as patronizing,she cares deeply for others, but can sometimes get lost in her own world and emotions and not think of others as easy, she loses her empathy very easily About Ambrosia: ~Ambrosia believes her destiny is to rule her kingdom with a strong hand and give new life to it. She believes she will make an amazing Queen. ~She has a serious sweet tooth. It's an addiction. She will eat what she can whenever she can, if it has sugar in it. Though she is one of those girls that just "can't gain any weight cause my metabolism is insaaaane." ~She loves meeting new people and being part of people's lives. She super open and friendly and can be irritatingly bubbly. ~Ambrosia will avoid confrontation like the plague. She hates fighting and despises people not liking her. She doesn't bode well with negative emotions and frankly, she doesn't want to snap. She also greatly despises rude people, but will still attempt to be their friend because that's just the kind of person that Ambrosia is. ~Ambrosia's favorite pastime is singing. ~Ambrosia loves boys... one in particular...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Second Picture:

Queen Aurora Rose, King Phillip Rose, and their daughter, Princess Beloved Rose.

Beloved "Love" Rena Rose Bio: Love is a very fun and funny girl. She enjoys having a good time and being comfortable in your own skin. She thinks girls shouldn't be pressured to wear dresses and froofy clothing and should wear what they wish, hence her baggy sweaters and casual look. About Love: ~Love is a serious night owl and crazy insomniac. She has lot of trouble sleeping so she uses the time for preparing herself for the future. She doesn't think she could handle that kind of pressure of ruling the kingdom. However she underestimates herself in that department ~Yes, she is wearing Heelys. Heelys are the dopest thing ever in her opinion. She never goes anywhere without hers. She also loves skating and is a goddess at it. ~Because of her insomnia, she gets nightly visits from the nocturnal best friend she has named Bane. Bane is a kind soul that she connects with and they both love romance stories. ~Love is also good friends with Topanga and Jinx, and although she thinks Jinx is a bit much, she greatly enjoys their company, especially Topanga. Topanga is so much fun to be around and has an infectious happiness that Love ADORES. ~Love LOVES parties. Please invite her to all of them, she and Topanga will be the life of ANY party ANYWHERE ~According to Sarah, Beloved has the "biggest dick energy" hmmm ~Beloved is loved by all and adored world-wide. She loves knowing people and hates being disliked. She is like Ambrosia in this way. ~Beloved is also second inline, alongside Hope, both watching Ambrosia and Charmant be the spotlights. They both don't mind, but Beloved always feels like the last resort, even behind Hope. She always feels the need to compete with Hope, but she hates it and feels bad for her emotions. ~Beloved is the most prepared in every situation, but this stems from the fear of not being prepared enough and failing at any task she is given. She does not want to fall short in the eyes of her people. ~she can literally pick up any instrument and in a few hours knows exactly how to play it. That’s always her little party trick

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Third Picture:

Queen Cinderella Verre, King Henri Verre, and their children Princess Hope Verre and Charmant Verre

Charmant L'Amour Verre Bio: Charmant is a kind boy, with kind intentions, though his vanity is a big part of his life. He doesn't like to judge people by anything other than true character. About Charmant: ~Charmant cannot wait for the day he becomes the next King. He wants so much to take on the responsibility and show the world what he can do. ~He is very protective of his world and of his family. He knows there is not much he can for his sister to get her to chill, but he knows she can take care of herself just fine. ~Even though he is vain, he has crippling self-worth. He wants to prove to a world that already adores that he can be great because sometimes he truly believes all he is is a pretty face with nothing behind it. He's super depressed... ~He hates having to juggle a bunch of things at once, he's working on that because he knows he will be dealing with ten times what he juggles now as King ~He realizes to be King he has to marry Ambrosia, and frankly, he's ready for that. He can't shake this feeling something is wrong with his decision to marry Ambrosia, but Ambrosia is very cordial and sweet to her future husband, so he tries to ignore that feeling in the back of his mind. ~He loves riding horses. It's like his FAVORITE pastime ~If he's not riding horses, he's working out Hope Maribeth Verre Bio: Hope's goal in life is to protect others. She wants to build a big shield around the kingdom to protect them from everything. She has the biggest heart out of any of the new line of royalty. About Hope: ~Hope is a total butch lesbian ~Hope is an amazing sword fighter and can take her brother anyday and lay him flat on the ground. That being said, her favorite pastime is fencing with her brother for fun. ~Hope is SUUUUPEER competitive ~Hope despises the idea of love, especially the "arranged marriage" kind of love. She doesn't know how her brother can stomach it. ~If Hope feels her hair start to tough her shoulders, she will immediatley chop it off. She hates long hair, it gets in the way when she's working out, training, or sword fighting. ~Hope avoids her own feelings like the plague. She's got some serious issues, but she represses the hell out of them. Real healthy there, Hope. ~Despite not being super girly or liking girly things, she LOVES dresses and thinks they're dope as hell ~Hope is a scaredy cat and can get scared at the drop of a hat, but she hides it pretty well

#disneyprincesses #disney princesses #ever after high remake #disney royalty #disney next generation

15 notes · View notes

thewritingstar · 4 years ago

Note

ButchxBubbles friendship???

Thanks for the request :)

The thought of Butch and Bubbles having a spa night? Yes please. Im not really good at writing friendship fluff fics so i hope this is ok. I really like the idea of their friendship dynamic and maybe I’ll elaborate more on it. Plus I wrote this at like 1 am so yeah.

Enjoy. :) Request and asks always open

----

Bubbles finished bringing all her products from the bathroom to her bedroom. She had everything ready for her spa treatment as her sisters were off on some over night history field trip for their class. Of course she wasn’t in that class so she was left by herself and the professor was out of town for a couple of days.

She had quite the collection of things to do and wished someone was here to do it with her. She could call Robin but she knew she had gone to her cousins house and her other friends lived a few miles away. Boomer had even gone on the trip but was sending her photos every ten minutes.

“Guess its just us tonight.” She looked to Octi who just stared at her with his button eye.

A sound came from behind and she turned to see something hitting her window. She got closer and saw that a figure was there. She threw open the window and looked outside. Her eyes widening slightly as she saw who was hovering.

“Butch?” She said questionably and he gave her a small wave.

“Sup Blondie.” He smirked.

Her signature giggle echoed. “What are you doing here?”

“Well since every one is gone on that stupid trip, I thought why not see what you’re up to” He shrugged.

“Are you sure?” She looked behind her at the set up she had. “I don’t think my plans is something you would be up for.”

He flew past her and she closed the window. “Don’t care, I am bored.” He took a spot on the floor in front of the blanket that was laid out and coated with products upon products.

Bubbles walked over and sat on the other side looking at all the products. “I was just going to do a spa night time or what I like to call Bubbles Time.” She sighed.

He shifted a little. “I can leave if you want, I just thought-”

“No!” She held up her hands and shook her head. “No you don’t have to go. My sisters don’t ever participate so its nice having someone here, even if you don’t wanna be pampered.”

Butch picked up a bottle while Bubbles fasten her hair into two cute space buns. He popped open the cap and took a sniff. Coconut and pineapple filled his nose and he could tell Bubbles wasn’t as bubbly as usual. He didn’t want to slap the shit on his face but knowing that not even Blossom wanted to do this with her, he thought why not.

“Im game. Whats first?” He asked.

She looked up at him with a blank stare. “Really?” Her face slightly turned almost like a cute puppy dog.

“Sure why not. Your skin is probably hella smooth and its not like this shit is gonna hurt.”

Her smile was blinding as nodded. She let out a high pitched squeal and soon her was pulled into a hug. “Thank you Butch! Thank you! Not even Boomie would do this with me, fucking meanie.�� he whispered the last part and he was let go from the bone crushing hug.

“Nah fuck Boomie.” he slightly cringed at the nickname but now he had blackmail against his baby bro. “This is Bubbs and Butch time.”

She clapped her hands together and began preparing.

“So now this will open your pores and get the rest of all that dirt. Geez your pores are huge.” Bubbles said as she popped open the toner and spread it on the cotton pad.

“Rude.” Butch said but took the soaked cotton from her. He watched her apply it to her skin and copied her motions while looking in the mirror. His hair was pushed away from his face with a light purple hairband that had cat ears on it. “This shit kinda burns.”

“Don’t be a pussy.”

“Damn Bubbs didn’t know you cussed often.” He held out his hand to accept the moisturizer from her. “Kinda bad ass.”

She laughed at this. “Oh Blossy doesn’t like it and of course BC does. After all I am hard core.” She playfully shrugged.

---

“And then she fucking blew me off to hang out with Mitch, can you believe that!” Butch complained.

“I hate when she does that, always forgetting plans.” Bubbles sighed as she filed his nails and blew off the dust.

He looked at his other hand examining the clean nails. “You don’t think I have to worry about him right?”

She leaned over to look through her massive collection of nail polishes and pick a base coat and a dark green color and a pure black one. “Butch honey, he gay.”

“I knew that.” He said quickly. He looked at the polish. “What about just clear?”

Bubbles looked at him and raised her brows. “You know its really punk and cool for guys to paint their nails, plus Buttercup thinks its hot but you didn’t here it from me.” She wagged her eyebrows and dangled the bottle in front of him.

He snatched the black and shook it. “Paint me up Sugar.”

“Aww I wish Boomie did something like that for me.” Bubbles cooed at the screen.

“Sugar, they are just sitting on a gold course throwing grapes at each other.” He pointed out and she hit him with a pillow. “Watch the nails.” He lifted his hands.

“I know its simple but Troy and Gabrielle are cute and hey, I’m a sucker for cute romance.” He was sure her eyes were full of stars at this point. “Look they are dancing in the water!”

“How many times have you seen this?”

“Twenty seven.” The oven in the kitchen dinged and she got up. “Cookies are done. You want milk too?”

“Hell ya.”

She got up and walked away and he took out his phone. There was a message from Buttercup.

Spice Babe: is she torturing you?

He held his phone up to snap a selfie of his cat ear hair band.

Me: Nope but i look hot af now. Good luck keeping your paws off me.

Spice Babe: lol sure btw this shit blows, be thankful youre not here

Me: sucks 2 be you but i got fresh cookies from bubbs

Spice Babe: Lucky bastard

The plate of cookies was set in front of him and he clicked his phone away as she paused the movie.

“Buttercup having fun?”

“Nope but thats not my problem.” He grinned. “ So whats next?” he asked almost a bit too excitedly.

Bubbles covered her mouth to finish chewing. “Well its getting late and I was gonna do a face mask and build a pillow fort.”

“oh.” He realized that it meant he should probably go.

“Do you wanna make pillow forts and have a pillow fight? Oh and a sleep over!”

His eyes widened with a giant grin. “Fuck Yeah!”

His neck almost popped as the pillow was slammed into his face and he had never seen the vicious look on her face before. Even with temporary tattoos and a sparkly face mask that smelt like berries, his was pink and strawberry scent, she was still scary.

“Prepare to die!” She shouted as she raised a pillow over her head.

“Oh shit.” He ducked and shot one back at her, hitting her in the stomach making her grunt. Her elbow knocked on the table and they watched as the homemade smoothies shook and almost spilled.

Their eyes met and they busted out laughing before setting the pillows down.

“Lets wash these off and then call it a night?” She said and he followed her to the bathroom. His feet were now inside bunny slippers that were a tad to small a she was rocking matching dog ones.

He let out a yawn as she handed him a towel to dry his face and before long, they had shut off the lights and got into their pillow forts that were facing each other.

“Thanks for hanging out with me. It means a lot.” She said and he looked at the ceiling.

“I had fun. You’re pretty cool Sugar.”

“I’m glad someone thinks so.”

“Whats that mean?” He asked and he heard a small sigh.

She held onto Octi and even though she couldn’t see his face, she knew he had a frown on.

“Most people just think of me as the cute girl, which is true but im more than that. Sometimes even kicking a monsters ass doesn’t prove that I am strong and mighty.”

“Listen I know for a fact you are cool and strong. I got my ass handed to me by you once or twice in our child hood. Most people think im just some meat head who can punch.”

“I don’t think that.” She said and he believed her. “I think you are really talented at sports and just like to punch, nothing wrong with that. But you are also kind and sweet and I see how you make Buttercup feel and some meat head couldn’t do that.”

He smirked to himself. “Thanks Bubbles.”

“Any time.”

A comfortable silence filled the room before he spoke up. “I really appreciate how much you care about Boomer. Its hard growing up without any form of love and every time he comes home, his smile is real and I know its because of you.”

Bubbles hugged Octi closer as a blush formed on her face after she sent Boomer a good night text. “He just makes me really happy.”

“Thats good. But I am gonna kick his ass for not taking you on cute dates because my homie deserves is.”

“Omg Butch are we bffs?”

“For sure.” And their shared laughter faded off as sleep took over.

The morning came fast and the pair quickly cleaned everything up before homemade pancakes were eaten.

“This shit is amazing Bubbs.” Butch finished his plate.

“Aww thanks. Oh looks like everyone should be back in an hour.”

He stood and took the plate to the sink. “Well I’ll get going because I don’t need Blossom on my ass about any of this.”

“I can handle her don’t worry.” She winked and soon she was alone finishing up her pancakes with a smile.

The front door opened and Brick and Boomer came walking in. Brick slammed his body on the couch and went straight to sleep while Boomer went to the kitchen where Butch was making a grilled cheese.

“I can’t believe you had a sleep over with my girlfriend.”

“Hi to you too. And chill we are just besties.” He winked. “Kinda lame that you never do any of this stuff with her.” He picked up the finished meal and bit into it before shaking his head at him. “Ya know, shes pretty cool and all she wants is to pamper and watch high school musical.”

“But you hate those things.”

Butch shrugged. “Yeah but my new bestie doesn’t and I support queens.”

Boomer gave him a weird look. “What did she do to you?”

He flipped him off, showing off his nails. “By the way she wants cuter dates. If you are going to simp then do it right Boomie.” He mocked before grabbing his plate. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Sugar and I are going to the mall fuck face.”

Boomer frowned as he took all the food. “Hey don’t call her that!”

“See ya later simp.”

---

hope you liked :)

21 notes · View notes

thegeminisage · 4 years ago

Note

can i ask what language you're referring to exactly? like i know about the SAM model but what is "cassexual"

theres a few different terms you could use

bearing in mind that i myself dont rly love the split attraction model myself (u see that my bio says asexual and doesn’t list a romantic orientation) but it’s dead useful to a lot of people

when you talk about sexual/romantic attraction you can use suffixes. so like homoromantic is romantic feelings for your own gender, biromantic for two or more genders, etc. so “demi” is one of those suffixes - to mean attraction only after a strong bond is formed - demisexual would be sexual attraction, demiromantic is romantic attraction

so if dean wasn’t into anyone but cas you could use that kind of language for him - though i should also note i truly don’t think dean is aspec, i think he’s bi and repressed/dealing with sex repulsion wrt men, repulsion that either comes from a history of sexual violence/his past as someone who turns tricks for cash per jackles, or if you don’t like those headcanons from the sheer homophobia of the community around him

speaking of sex repulsion aces&aros also developed language around this - just bc one doesnt experience physical attraction doesnt mean one doesnt wanna get busy so we have a spectrum of people who are ok with that and people who aren’t. we use sex positive/sex receptive for people who like sex, sex neutral/sex indifferent for people who don’t care, and sex repulsed/sex averse for people who really are Not into it. these terms don’t just apply to aces either, people of any sexuality can experience repulsion. i strongly favor the idea that dean might be repulsed by men despite being attracted to them which is why he’s Like That

furthermore in the Real World it’s often that people trying to figure out their sexuality go through a few different things before they find the right fit. so someone could THINK "i’m just a really butch lesbian” and realize "wait i’m a trans man” someone could think they’re demisexual and then realize they’re gay, or like dean could think cas is his exception or that he’s only romantically attracted to cas and then ten years down the line when he’s had time to sit with it realize he’s full-on bi. it’s not bad to use any label as a stepping stone, but aspec labels get a bad rep for people who stop there for a minute because they involve less sex and that’s sometimes outside of someone’s comfort zone when they’re “newly” realizing they’re queer. vice versa, sometimes ace people think they’re bi first bc both involve feeling equally attracted to many genders, the difference is just “all” or “none.” it happens!

idr EXACTLY where i was going with this but yes the point is we have all kinds of terms to describe all kinds of complicated experiences w/ sexuality. that’s one of the things i love about being ace, is that we have so many ways to defy the traditional relationship setup when it doesn’t work for us, and have developed so many ways to talk about the endless variety of ways human beings express love...queerplatonic relationships, nonsexual intimacy, polyamory, etc. i just genuinely from the bottom of my heart think thats beautiful and also like what’s more queer than that!!! nothing

#this ask has gotten long enough but if u have anymore questions lmk #liz answers asks #anonymous

3 notes · View notes