#also yeah i wouldnt include any romance because I hate any conceivable idea that Redtail was sandstorms father

[mistlestripe]

Redtail’s debt (mostly) rewrite concept ideas.

Okay so I skimmed over Redtail’s debt the other day, and GOD I was just never a fan of the writing in that book. Redtail’s character is super generic and like they just chose a random “protagonist” personality for him, the pacing is strange and fucks up the timeline a LOT considering Darkstripe nor Longtail are even IMPLIED to be conceived, and that doesn't even mention the terrible straight-up MISTAKES of Ravenpaw’s behavior and Oakheart’s death. 

Honestly my biggest gripe is his and Tigerclaws dynamic though. Tigerclaw in the first series is implied to be someone that EVERYONE trusts, someone who is noble and that people believe in as a good cat to trust their clan into (considering he became deputy, and clearly had enough of a reputation to become shadowclan’s leader). I don’t like how obviously evil he behaves, and how he seems to have a track-record of being violent and unnecessarily cruel (Acoording to a windclan cat in the book) . And I especially dont like how Redtail is characterized as naïve and is so obviously taken advantage of, and how Redtail grows to become hateful and distrustful of Tigerclaw despite the whole situation of that intending to be super unexpected and shocking. IDK I just think it’d have more depth if there was no “mistrust” involved, because we know how it turns out already, it just becomes boring if the characters themselves predict it.

Though warning i briefly mention spottedleaf’s heart around the beginning. However the contents of that book are never mentioned and only really referenced in regards to timeline issues I have.

It’s RLLY long just a warning. also srry for bad grammar and typos and rambly text.

Though do tell me your opinions! Let me know anything that is weird about my idea or anything that is GOOD about my idea! I’m not an experienced writer at all so I’d appreciate critique! (I do love to just discuss about it)

First off, while I’m not opposed to Willow/Red/Spotted all being siblings, I don’t like him being younger than tigerclaw like that. It’s not THAT big a deal but he’s implied to be super respectable, and it just makes not that much sense that Bluestar would pick a younger warrior over an older warrior. and more POINTEDLY I don’t like Spottedleaf being in that same litter bec that would imply she was super old by TPB T_T.... I’d probably just remove Spottedleaf from Redtail’s debt or just make it so she’s a kit during later in the book, rather than being of same age (they can still have the same parents, maybe it can be noted that Adderfang and Swiftbreeze are old and spottedleaf’s litter is gonna be their last litter (Which I know would mess with the timeline a bit since they retire, but its not that big a change I dont think? Or at least something that cant be fixed with other changes...) Spottedpaw doesnt do much in Redtail’s debt so it’s not so much a problem in here rather than in Spottedleaf’s heart. I could put him in Leopard/Patch’s litter but I’d rather not since I dont like him being older than Bluestar either/or that much older than Tigerclaw.

I do prefer Tigerclaw being younger than Redtail though, Ik it doesnt make much sense in line with bluestars prophecy but whatever we can just pretend like thats changed (as in redtail’s litter randomly being born at some point during then before Tigerstar’s, Tigerclaw’s birth would stay the same in the same time) --- It’d also work with some Willowpelt context I have in mind but I’ll get to that later

I’d basically swap the dynamic, Redtail being an older apprentice-near warrior age at the beginning of the book, and Tigerpaw being a newer, younger apprentice. I’d give him “YS brokenpaw” syndrome (i didnt care for that being brokenpaw’s personality anyways like its not terrible but whatever) and he’s SUPER eager to train and battle and be overly enthusiastic and eager to prove himself to his bitchy mentor thistleclaw and because of that he speaks out and misbehaves a lot.

My main idea is rather than the painfully obvious storytelling in Redtail’s debt where Redtail is naive and Tigerclaw saves him and then Tigerclaw makes him do evil things (which, I do not like that TIGERCLAW is specifically bad. It fucks up the first arc where it was “unexpected” and everyone looked up to him and wanted him to be deputy. like its just so blatant like give us subtlety pls)

Anyways but like instead of that I’d make it so TIGERPAW is the one who first gets into trouble, whereas Redpaw would be the one to save him -- Tigerpaw is shocked and angry he couldn’t save himself but Tigerpaw would tell Redpaw he “owes him one” and is gonna make it up to him one day

Then in another chapter there’d be a timeskip, Redtail becoming a warrior, this chapter would be mostly “fluff” parts (or it would just be giving stuff that leads to the next “action” part) But Tigerpaw reminds Redtail that even if he’s a warrior, that Tigerpaw will still make it up to him and to not forget his promise-- Redtail brushes this off though as he sees it as Tigerpaw just being young and not serious. It could note how old his mother is and how she declined being an elder or something

But after that it would eventually lead into a cat-battle, probably Riverclan related, and there would be some action moment where Redtail worries about his old mother and struggles to find her and assure that she’s safe, Only for Tigerpaw to save him and help him save his mother (Maybe he can also help redtail by helping him carry her if shes wounded or smth idk) And it basically ends up with Redtail being proud of Tigerpaw (Who could become Tigerclaw here actually because I dont think Tigerclaw’s warrior ceremony was ever given much reason other than them two just being warrior-aged, it’d be good for Tigerclaw’s reputation context in the first arc if he actually did more “great” acts) and it basically gets to Tigerclaw being like “I told you I would pay you back one day.” And Redtail being like “Thank you Tigerclaw. Whatever debt there was between us has been repaid honorably. I’m proud to call you my clanmate.” sort of thing blah blah. 

Note: A concept idea I had is that younger-Willowpelt is characterized similarly to Rosetail’s place in BP, being boy-interested and as an apprentice stating how she’d love to have kits some day (like beyond typical degree though), I thought of maybe keeping that old “Tawnyspots is Darkstripes father” concept but the relationship would be like a Nightcloud situation where she simply dated a much younger (though adult), unrelatable Crowfeather because she wanted to have kits--- I imagined it being gossip that Tawnyspots wants to have kits before he dies ((but it wouldn’t go in depth of their relationship, I don’t imagine Tawnyspots was actually in love with her but he wasn’t distant or abusive about it. It’d just be one of those things that are like “oh that makes sense because X” that are mentioned only in passing))-- though since it happened within a timeskip Darkkit’s father could go unnamed. Moving Red/Willow’s birth to before Tigerclaws would make this work more so that Willowpelt at least gets to be a warrior before Tawnyspots dies.

But then another timeskip and Willowpelt gives birth to Darkkit, probably just being the only one of his litter because tragedy is uneeded here, and Swiftbreeze also turns out to be pregnant around the same time (which cats could gossip about how old she is ig bec warrior cats are rude) --- ((Though actually I might make it so she has kits a little later, but not by that much))

This point is a little bit more cloudy in terms of my thought process, but I imagine whether it be a battle, or kit-danger, Tigerclaw saves Willowpelt and Darkkit in another intense *redtail scared for his family* moment, which would lead up to an interaction being like (not literally this is just what im coming up with) Tigerclaw: “I’m just repaying my debt. I’ll never forget how you saved my life Redtail.”  Redtail: “Your debt has been repaid. I promise, Tigerclaw, I’ll pay you back for all the times you’ve helped me, as you’ve done for me. Let’s consider this a debt of my own.”

(So which is what gives the title “Redtails debt” more depth up there ^^^ Also note at this point it wouldn’t be acknowledged but Tigerclaw’s kindness is now more “building up his reputation” rather than him being a nice person. like manipulatively he’s acting super noble)  And Although after this would leave an opening for some more plot (maybe some sort of fallout scene like the original RD had, but rather than it ending with Redtail not trusting him I think I’d make it so Tigerclaw ties it up much better and Redtail still trusts him MAYBE something like there’s a sunningrocks battle and some character dies because Tigerclaw tells him not to give up/end the fight-- though it wouldn't end with Redtail not trusting Tigerclaw or hating him), But even from there it could have the timeskip to the prequel sunningrocks battle, Ravenpaw actually acts like Ravenpaw, I’d prefer to show off more of the younger apprentices then bec thats cute and iconic, and Redtail as a “death flag” moment where he reminds Tigerclaw that he’ll pay him back and never forget his debt. Redtail DOESNT kill oakheart, and as Tigerclaw kills him the last words Redtail hears from Tigerclaw is “Consider your debt repaid.”