#also wq is /not/ dumb. she just never cared about politics. she's still the best doctor in the world

[gravitywonagain]

Can't Cheat Death While You're Digging Your Own Grave

So forever ago, @shiranai-atsune gifted me with this lovely, long list of prompts and I have been very slowly writing a few of them as warmups for a while now. This one is not yet done (none of them are done), but she's been patient enough. So here's the first draft of the first part of a response to:

-What if Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian were closer? Sworn brothers, even? What if NHS visited WWX in Yiling?

[T (for now?), implied Wangxian, 2k, 1/?] [part 2][part 3]

~

Wen Qing:

This is not how this was supposed to go. This is not how any of this was supposed to go.

The time they had, her and her family, was borrowed — stolen for them by a man with too little left for himself. It was always going to end in death. Theirs, his.

Theirs was a symbiotic relationship. He afforded them much needed protection and without him they would not survive. They afforded him much needed sanity and without them he would lose himself to the ghosts that constantly ate away at everything he had left. But this precarious balance had a time limit.

Wen Qing knew better than anybody that Wei Wuxian’s life was fading. She watched him surreptitiously sneak the majority of his meager rations into A’Yuan’s bowl -- just like they all did, but Wei Wuxian did not have the calories to spare. She scolded him for pouring too much of his energy into tilling the fields, spreading himself as thin as their crop and exhausting himself holding the seething resentment of the Burial Mounds at bay.

He was dying and he wasn’t doing it slowly.

With a golden core, perhaps he would be fine. She wasn’t overly confident in that assessment because the balance of yin and yang qi within a human body was delicate, but she’d seen it work with Wen Ruohan -- for a while, anyway.

But, like this, coreless and sleepless and hungry, he would die within the year. And she was tired of watching it happen.

So now, as she helps Popo fold and pack the blankets they had woven and prepared for the oncoming winter, she feels nothing short of shock. As she watches Wei Wuxian carefully lower each of his new -- and volatile -- inventions into a crate, she finds herself considering what his new workshop may look like. And as a dozen cultivators in green and silver gently and considerately move through the rickety buildings of her wretched home, she feels hope.

She had not dared to allow herself anything like hope when the heir of Qinghe Nie had first arrived at the edge of their wards.

That he was alone was surprising, but not in a soothing way. Rather, in a way that made the hair on the back of her neck stand at attention as she flexed the qi in her meridians and extended her senses outward.

Wei Wuxian, a wide, nostalgic smile on his face, invited Nie Huaisang inside, just as he had invited Lan Wangji and Jiang Wanyin, before him.

This, too, did nothing to assuage her fears. She remembered the way Wei Wuxian’s palm had been sliced to the bone after the Jiang sect leader had almost destroyed her brother. She remembered the gut wound that still hadn’t quite healed. She remembered the heartsore sobs she was certainly never supposed to hear that echoed inside that stupidly named cave for a fortnight.

She wondered what new pain this “old friend” would cause.

Wen Ning was sent to retrieve whatever might pass for tea and Wen Qing settled herself next to Wei Wuxian like a second hand, like a general. Wei Wuxian accepted her presence as if it were normal and, after a brief moment of hesitation, Nie Huaisang did, too.

The sect heir spoke with a light voice. He and Wei Wuxian exchanged pleasantries as if nothing had changed. As if they were returning to the Cloud Recesses after a few years away.

It wasn’t until the vaguely leaf-flavored hot water had been consumed that the tone of the conversation changed. Strangely, when, exactly, it had happened, Wen Qing couldn’t say. She’d never been one for court gossip or sect politics, preferring to spend her time studying and cultivating even before she was stretched thin with fear and responsibility. So perhaps it wasn’t actually that strange that she’d missed the subtle transition from idle chatter to political discourse. But by the time she realized their topics had become less-than-frivolous, the tension was already building across the table.

“Lan Wangji,” Nie Huaisang said with a sly smile, “has argued for you to be allowed to attend your nephew’s 100th day celebration.”

Wei Wuxian’s empty tea cup clattered to the table. “He has not.”

“He has.”

“And?”

Wei Wuxian was doing the thing with his voice where he tries not to sound over eager. It never worked very well. The man wore his emotions like he wore that bright, red hair-ribbon of his. His face was glowing with curiosity and trepidation, both. Nothing quite like hope, but maybe desire.

“And Jin Guangshan has agreed that you should attend.”

The desire dashed into dejection.

“Fuck.”

Nie Huaisang sighed, whipping open his fan and idly waving it. A restless gesture, rather than a cooling one. “Indeed.”

Silence settled between them for a moment. Wei Wuxian’s brow furrowed in the way it did when he was considering a deceptively simple solution to a particularly complex problem. He cocked his head to one side and asked, with no small amount of anxiety slowing his words, “You don’t think Lan Zhan--”

But Nie Huaisang cut him off with a snap of his fan. “No,” he said with surprising weight and confidence for all that he has spent the entire conversation up until this moment prevaricating and professing his general ignorance.

Wei Wuxian, though, seemed comforted by this, taking him at his word and nodding.

It was strange, this interaction. Nie Huaisang, or at least Wen Qing’s impression of him during the lectures at the Cloud Recesses, was a flighty and distractible disciple. He was lazy in his classwork, even lazier in his martial arts. And, though he painted beautiful fans, he used them too often to avoid difficult conversations at all cost.

The man before her now, in this moment and this moment alone, looked like a competent advisor to the venerable Chifeng-zun.

“Lan Wangji is naïve and idealistic,” said Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian grinned at that.

“Aren’t we all, Nie-xiong.” He raised his eyebrows like it was a joke.

After all they’d all been through, Wen Qing supposed it only could be a joke, but it was still one she wasn’t exactly in on.

“Ah, it’s true,” Nie Huaisang agreed, opening his fan with a puerile smile and becoming, for all appearances, the featherbrained boy of their youth once more. “We are, we are.”

Wen Qing schooled her face into something like understanding as she tried to fit together the pieces of conversation that the two weren’t having. So far she’d gathered that the invitation was a trap, but she could have told them that from the beginning. There was something else hiding in the words that they weren't saying, but Wen Qing didn’t have enough of anything to figure out what it was. Which was frustrating.

It was no secret that Wei Wuxian was brilliant. Fourth-ranked in their generation or not, the man was infamous for his… unique solutions to difficult problems. She knew intimately how unique those solutions could be. But Wen Qing had never seen that ingenuity extend to politics. Or people in any kind of broader sense.

He had been, however, the head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang. A position that required both political acumen and a sense for leadership. Especially if he was awarded the position over the sect heir, regardless of cultivation skill.

It was an uncomfortable realization that she, just like everybody else in the cultivation world, had underestimated him. She thought she would have known better by now.

It was similarly uncomfortable to realize just how much she had underestimated the Nie sect heir, too. Because, even now, she had no idea how intelligent and observant he was. And she had the distinct impression that her ignorance -- both of Nie Huaisang’s cleverness and of the underlying thread of this conversation -- was by design.

Nie Huaisang flapped his fan back-and-forth and stared at it like nothing more interesting than that painted scene was happening around him. “He’s still writing your invitation as we speak.”

Wen Qing couldn’t help her brow from furrowing at that. “Then how are you here so fast, Nie-er-gongzi?” she asked, barely keeping her tone genial, even as frustration mounted in her chest.

“Oh, Qing-jie,” said Wei Wuxian with a grin that she knew boded mischief. “Did you know that just southwest of here there is a rather large and impressive freshwater lake?”

Wen Qing didn’t shake her head. She didn’t groan. She didn’t grab him by the shoulders and yell, “How is that relevant?!” She had greater composure than that. If she could stand at attention in front of Wen Ruohan while he openly threatened her brother, she could contain her reaction to a simple quirk of her eyebrow.

“It’s true!” said Nie Huaisang, snapping his fan closed and gesturing with it. “It’s on top of a plateau and in the winter there are hundreds of species of birds--”

She cuts him off. “So, you weren’t in the room when this decision was made, then.”

“Ah, no, Wen-guniang,” he said, ducking his head as if in apology. Then, allowing a glimpse of his cleverness to show in his eyes he asked, “But have I told you yet of my fondness for birds? Of many kinds?”

Spies, she understood. He had a network of spies that could reach even into the private halls of Lanling. She understood, too, that she was being given this information with trust. That it was only a hint of what the Nie heir was capable of and that Wei Wuxian’s trust in her was transitive.

She smiled. “I’m sure I don’t need the details, Nie-er-gongzi.”

“Good, good.” He smiled back, sharp but only for a flash before it was genial and light and then hidden behind his open fan once more. “I’d hate to bore you.”

Wen Qing’s heart hammered in her chest for a moment, a fear response she knew well how to mask. She wondered what exactly her body had interpreted as a threat.

“So, what are you saying, Huaisang?” Wei Wuxian asked, not bothering to hide his agitation, but also skillfully directing Nie Huaisang’s attention back to himself and giving Wen Qing the room she needed to breathe.

“I’m saying I’ll go with you,” Nie Huaisang said, simply. Like anything about that statement was simple.

“With me?” Wei Wuxian scoffed, incredulous. “You want to walk into Lanling and declare Qinghe Nie’s support of Yiling Laozu?”

But Nie Huaisang just nodded and said, “I do.”

“Huaisang!”

“And,” he continued, plowing through Wei Wuxian’s disbelief like oxen through rice fields, “I want to shelter the Wen Remnants in Qinghe.”

Wen Qing felt her eyes bulging out of their sockets, but Wei Wuxian just laughed and waved a hand dismissively.

“I want to marry Lan Zhan and bear him children,” he said in an uncharacteristically honest admission, flippant though it was. “Not all things are possible, Nie-xiong.”

Nie Huaisang looked nothing short of delighted at his friend’s candor but, undeterred, said, “Bearing his children may be outside even your scope, but offering you the protection of Qinghe Nie is not outside of mine.”

Wen Qing considered his words carefully. Considered all of the things she had learned about him as a person in this short conversation.

“At what cost?” she asked.

“What cost?” he responded, playing the fool as easily as breathing.

Even now, even knowing all that she did, she could almost believe it again.

Luckily, Wei Wuxian was not similarly affected.

“Huaisang,” he said, chastising his friend like he might a misbehaving shidi. “We both know that you wouldn’t even be hinting at something like this without your da-ge’s permission. No matter how much porn you smuggled into the Cloud Recesses, you don’t actually have a death wish. Nie Mingjue would allow you many things, but this?”

Ignoring the comment about porn -- another shared joke Wen Qing wasn’t privy to -- she agreed. She remembered the stories her clansmen and sect members had told about Chifeng-zun during the war. She remembered her cousin’s severed head displayed proudly at the gate of the Unclean Realm. “He hates Qishan Wen more than anybody.”

Nie Huaisang, to his credit, didn’t deny it. He hesitated for a moment but conceded with a nod and a tap of his closed fan, “He does. But!” The fan opens again, “But, he’s not entirely unreasonable.”

Wen Qing could feel Wei Wuxian rolling his eyes next to her, even if she couldn't see it.

“What’s the cost, Huaisang?” he asked, impatience hard-edged in his voice.

Nie Huaisang tapped his fan on the table a few more times. Another restless gesture, perhaps, as he collected his words into an order he thought might best be presented to his friend.

In hindsight, Wen Qing thinks it very strange that this was the moment Nie Huaisang found most uncertain. Most delicate. But then, maybe this pause, this careful consideration and apparent reluctance, was all an act, too.

In the end, whether it was calculated or not never really mattered.

Nie Huaisang fixed Wei Wuxian with soft eyes and a determined frown, leaned forward enough to brace an elbow on the table, and said,

“How much do you know about the Saber Path, Wei-xiong?”

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

[olderthannetfic]

Escapade Vid - The Untamed

I could say this was my attempt at meta on an underappreciated character and that's why I wanted to vid Wen Ning…

Nah, I just think he's hot.

Wen Ning has this adorable babyface and big eyes. Just my type. And then he got a goth makeover and became a creepy zombie, increasing his hotness by ten thousand times. The Living Dead was everything I wanted except for dubcon possession porn, and it both irritates and cracks me up to see how many people find it OOC and badly made. I agree the colors are an abomination though--but more on that later.

I like Wen Ning the best because 1. He's hot and 2. He's one of the most competent characters and compromises his morals the least. Mianmian might be one up on him given how her story turns out, but in a whole series of craven idiots, I like the suicidally moral characters, especially when they're competent.

And also JC. Because I like his face. (What? I never said my Untamed feels were deep.)

I wanted to make this vid last year, right after Escapade. I spent forever finding a song, and I'm glad I did it then because it was a nightmare. I can find love songs easily, but I don't really care about WN/WWX, nor would most love songs fit that. It's clearly one-sided, but WN is also clearly totally happy to follow him around forever. Happy love songs are out. Pining angst is out.

WN is also motivated by high ideals more than specific family feelings. WQ wants to protect her family. WN wants to repay his debts. WN is a shy doofus on the surface when we first see him, and he acts flustered around most of the older characters, but this is deceptive. I feel like the most revealing scene is when he pops up at Lotus Pier, ready to grab JC and take on his entire clan. In what universe was this a good idea? What is he even doing there? Why did it actually work???

I wanted a song that encapsulated WN's quiet stubbornness. The trouble is that like 99% of popular music is either about romance or about being a confident badass, and most of the confident badass music is "Fuck you, ex boyfriend, I'm stronger now". I did not want an ex boyfriend song. A bunch of other songs are macho, flexing dudes talking about how they'll win the sports competition. Obviously, that was out. There are a very few songs like Try Everything, but they're awfully perky for covering Wen Ning's entire story, including him getting, you know, gruesomely murdered.

I honestly can't remember how I found the song I picked. I was probably listening to Happy Hanukkah on endless repeat and saw it in the Youtube sidebar. (Look, it's a great song for all times of year. Shut up.) Matisyahu has many amazing songs that build and move in ways ideal for vids.

I then sat on this source/song combo for a year because, well, it sure was a year. But when we got close to Escapade, I realized I wanted to finish it for the con.

Clip choices:

I'm not going to include the full lyrics on their own since they're in English and on every lyrics site. Instead, I'm putting the relevant bits between my explanations of what I chose and why. A lot of it came together quickly. I knew I wanted to include cute WN moments, like him being bullied by kids, and they wouldn't fit in the main narrative, so I had to put them in the intro.

Feel like the world don't love you They only wanna push you away Some days people don't see you You feel like you're in the way

I had a lot of trouble with 'push you away' since, generally speaking, no one does push him away. However, this is a vid from Wen Ning's own perspective, so it felt like an acceptable match to use the part where Wen Qing tries to leave him behind as they go on a hunt. She's objectively correct to do so given what happens, but Wen Ning is clearly upset that she tried. He doesn't want to be protected, especially at the cost of other people's safety.

Today you feel as if everyone hates Pointing their fingers, looking at your mistakes You do good, but they want great No matter what you give they still wanna take

I was very clear from early on that I wanted to use 'mistakes' for what Wen Ning is actually upset about: ruining Jin Ling's life. Of course he feels super guilty about what he did, despite it not being his fault, but the specific fallout Wen Ning is going to care about is a kid's feelings, not the political drama. That gave me the idea for what to do with 'good' and 'great'. More than most characters in the series, WN is not impressed by the power structure or reputations--scared, yes, but not impressed. WN likes bringing people food, at little things that are quietly good, and their society does not value that. (Cf. everything about Jiang Yanli's betrothal before Jin Zixuan catches feelings.)

'No matter what you give' I used for a shot that is probably not going to read as anything in a convention vidshow. He's bruised up, so I was hoping it would read properly visually. The actual context of the shot is WN having been thrown in the dungeon for being a traitor to the Wen. And yet, when the Wen are defeated, does he get a pardon? Nope, ignominious death. It really didn't matter what he did: these factions are all thoroughly corrupt and the entire system is garbage. It's all power-hungry assholes and sanctimonious prisses ripe for manipulation. All that mattered was that he was a Wen, and the Wens were either on top or being exterminated.

Give your love and they throw it back You give your heart they go on attack When there's nothing left for you, Only thing that you can do, say

The next part is WWX being an ungrateful little bitch. He's understandably stressed, but it still cracks me up that he's all up in WN's face and WN is literally only there to help him. WN might feel an obligation, but WWX sure isn't earning it here.

'When there's nothing left' I wasn't sure about. WN hitting rock bottom is arguably when he gets killed or maybe when they're in the burial mounds, but that didn't work with my structure. I chose to put a montage here of all the times that WQ tells him to stay safe by ditching WWX. I sympathize with WQ, but as WN comments in one of these scenes, he's following their own family code that she taught him. WQ cares so much about protecting WN (and the rest of their little part of the clan, but let's be real, it's mostly about WN) that she's willing to collude with a mass murderer just to keep him safe. Maybe it's only because he's a younger sibling, but WN seems to see things a lot more clearly. I laugh every time he's like "Uh huh, uh huh" as she lectures, and then the next scene is him running off to do something dangerous again.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Fight like a warrior, Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Live like a warrior

For this round of the chorus, WN is burning his Wen clan membership in a fire, and the heroic thing is running away, living to fight another day. WN has no ego, nor would ego be helpful here.

Buuuut, equally, being an actual warrior means hurting people, and while he was literally mind controlled into murder, that still couldn't have happened if he hadn't been already involved in violence and fighting. Violence you regret is also part of this life, and so is accepting responsibility for your actions. (Sure, he's very literally not responsible here, but WN doesn't know that at the time and doesn't feel that even later.)

There's some things you should let go, They're only gonna pull you down, Just like weight on your shoulder They are only gonna make you drown

I swear The Untamed has the best casting for a variety of face types. I recognized everybody from the moment they appeared… Except for Su She. Whom I forgot entirely and couldn't recognize at all. Doh.

It wasn't till I was clipping the whole series for this vid that I realized that the reason Wen Ning gets possessed here is that he's the only one to notice Su She's plight and go to his aid right away. I think on first viewing, I read it as him just getting possessed before he could get in the air, but that's not what's happening at all. His dumb ass stayed behind to try to help someone. Seriously, fuck Su She. They live in a grotesquely shitty power structure, but WN responds in admirable ways, while Su She just whines that he's not on top.

We all swing high, we all swing low, We all got secrets people don't know We all got dreams we can't let go, We wanna be brave, don't be afraid

WN's secret is that he gets possessed so easily and why. WQ is refusing to tell WWX in this scene, but he has figured out something is up and gives her a talisman for WN, which shows up later in the plot to great emotional effect--though not in this vid, alas.

The butterfly reveal was one of the first things on my timeline as I recall. I have Many Feelings. Also, this is me, so yes, I totally ship them. >:D

WN and WQ showing up to accept responsibility is kind of a dumbass move, but it's definitely brave. I enjoy how WN just keeps barrelling through the plot in a way that should mean he's the cute woobie who dies early on to prove the world is bad… and that instead leads to him being one of the strongest fighters, making it through the series, and finding A-Yuan again. (Though, okay, he did that first thing also. Heh.)

I ended on Jin Ling because I was so struck on rewatch at how the juniors first meet Wen Ning.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Fight like a warrior, Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Live like a warrior

I dimly recalled this fight, but it wasn't till I was clipping that I realized just how much focus each of them gets and how WN is literally strangling them and such. I just remembered him fighting people, not who. It's hilarious how quickly after this (in their timeline) we have doofus woobie WN being cute and them being like "He's my murder zombie! ♥"

For this chorus, I focused on that change. WN is rescuing them. "Yesterday" is their scared faces. Here, being a "warrior" is apologizing to JL. And maybe WN doesn't really owe an apology, but JL does deserve one. Almost no one in the series seems to give a shit about how JL is feeling.

And then my favorite scene with my two faves! WN is finally telling JC what he has probably wanted to for ages. WN is a wuss when it comes to himself, but he gets righteously pissed when someone else is being mistreated. The yesterday he's letting burn here is his promise to keep quiet… along with viciously burning down every bit of self perception and hubris JC ever had. Ouch!

Your heart is too heavy from things you carry a long time, Been up you been down, tired and you don't know why, But you're never gonna go back, you only live one life Let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go,

Bless the sequel movie for literally being entirely about Wen Ning's internal struggle. The way he breaks free of the bad guy's hold is by accepting the past and letting go of his guilt over things he can't change.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Fight like a warrior,

He's just so hot in this movie! This first chorus is him coming out of the hallucination, having beaten his self doubt and then beating on the villain.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Live like a warrior

Okay, in actual canon, JL mostly joined them because he was competing with LSZ like the bratty little asshole he is, but I wanted to highlight how JL got over himself enough to join the other juniors on team WN. Also, WN defends both him and LSZ in this scene in ways he couldn't back then.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Fight like a warrior,

This I wasn't planning on at all. As I was clipping the whole series, I was thinking that WN's possessed footage here wouldn't be narratively useful since he went and got taken over again, but when I rewatched for visually impressive stuff to use interstitially, I realized that--holy shit--he's defending Jin Ling in this scene. And he succeeds. I included both a shot of Jin Zixuan, which everyone caught in the vidshow, and a shot that nobody mentioned: Wen Ning's bloody fist after ripping JZX heart out to go with Wen Ning's bloody hand on the sword in the present as he struggles to keep it from Jin Ling. Here, fighting like a warrior means keeping the sword off of JL, even if WN can't defeat the spirit or resolve the entire situation himself.

ALSO I HAVE MANY FEELS ABOUT JC JUMPING IN FRONT OF JL.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Live like a warrior

Sometimes, WN is not that sweet. He traps this dude in a hell of his own making instead of letting him kill himself because Wen Ning can be a vindictive little bitch. And then he strides off into the matte painting sunset.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Other vidding notes:

I totally wanted to do something with Chinese characters, but there wasn't really space, and after much dictionary-searching and asking, it's clear that Chinese does not use morality metaphors involving a compass pointing true north. But that effort was not wasted since I needed a good font for my other vid.

Vidding The Living Dead turned out to be a pain. I had completely forgotten it was in another aspect ratio. The shots look much more beautiful before one crops them. That said, none of them are that beautiful because the entire film has this atrocious green color filter over it. It's like they're all wading through mud at all times. Ughhhhh. I spent so long trying to fix the color on that final scene to be at least a little pretty for my vid.

Still, the film had exactly the emotional tone I wanted. It very much skewers the fanon that WN is entirely the bashful wimp he appears to be on the surface when we first see him. It makes overt the change that we see over the series. It's also fundamentally different because it's a situation where WN is the senior person and in charge of someone. We've seen him babysit a small child, and we've seen him around the juniors with lots of people of his generation also there, but we've basically never seen him out from under WQ and WWX's thumbs. It's only natural that he's acting more authoritative here. His smackdown of the villain is very much in line with how he treats JC during the golden core reveal. WN is not a forgiving guy when he thinks someone has been selfish and awful.

Throughout this vid, there are shittons of color, speed, and motion effects. I don't normally use a lot, but it turned out to be a lot of fun this time. I should find another project to use effects on.

The vid:

Available on AO3.

[shiranai-atsune]

Thank you so much for writing this fanfic request! I'm looking forward to more! 💖

Can't Cheat Death While You're Digging Your Own Grave

So forever ago, @shiranai-atsune gifted me with this lovely, long list of prompts and I have been very slowly writing a few of them as warmups for a while now. This one is not yet done (none of them are done), but she's been patient enough. So here's the first draft of the first part of a response to:

-What if Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian were closer? Sworn brothers, even? What if NHS visited WWX in Yiling?

[T (for now?), implied Wangxian, 2k, 1/?]

~

Wen Qing:

This is not how this was supposed to go. This is not how any of this was supposed to go.

The time they had, her and her family, was borrowed — stolen for them by a man with too little left for himself. It was always going to end in death. Theirs, his.

Theirs was a symbiotic relationship. He afforded them much needed protection and without him they would not survive. They afforded him much needed sanity and without them he would lose himself to the ghosts that constantly ate away at everything he had left. But this precarious balance had a time limit.

Wen Qing knew better than anybody that Wei Wuxian’s life was fading. She watched him surreptitiously sneak the majority of his meager rations into A’Yuan’s bowl -- just like they all did, but Wei Wuxian did not have the calories to spare. She scolded him for pouring too much of his energy into tilling the fields, spreading himself as thin as their crop and exhausting himself holding the seething resentment of the Burial Mounds at bay.

He was dying and he wasn’t doing it slowly.

With a golden core, perhaps he would be fine. She wasn’t overly confident in that assessment because the balance of yin and yang qi within a human body was delicate, but she’d seen it work with Wen Ruohan -- for a while, anyway.

But, like this, coreless and sleepless and hungry, he would die within the year. And she was tired of watching it happen.

So now, as she helps Popo fold and pack the blankets they had woven and prepared for the oncoming winter, she feels nothing short of shock. As she watches Wei Wuxian carefully lower each of his new -- and volatile -- inventions into a crate, she finds herself considering what his new workshop may look like. And as a dozen cultivators in green and silver gently and considerately move through the rickety buildings of her wretched home, she feels hope.

She had not dared to allow herself anything like hope when the heir of Qinghe Nie had first arrived at the edge of their wards.

That he was alone was surprising, but not in a soothing way. Rather, in a way that made the hair on the back of her neck stand at attention as she flexed the qi in her meridians and extended her senses outward.

Wei Wuxian, a wide, nostalgic smile on his face, invited Nie Huaisang inside, just as he had invited Lan Wangji and Jiang Wanyin, before him.

This, too, did nothing to assuage her fears. She remembered the way Wei Wuxian’s palm had been sliced to the bone after the Jiang sect leader had almost destroyed her brother. She remembered the gut wound that still hadn’t quite healed. She remembered the heartsore sobs she was certainly never supposed to hear that echoed inside that stupidly named cave for a fortnight.

She wondered what new pain this “old friend” would cause.

Wen Ning was sent to retrieve whatever might pass for tea and Wen Qing settled herself next to Wei Wuxian like a second hand, like a general. Wei Wuxian accepted her presence as if it were normal and, after a brief moment of hesitation, Nie Huaisang did, too.

The sect heir spoke with a light voice. He and Wei Wuxian exchanged pleasantries as if nothing had changed. As if they were returning to the Cloud Recesses after a few years away.

It wasn’t until the vaguely leaf-flavored hot water had been consumed that the tone of the conversation changed. Strangely, when, exactly, it had happened, Wen Qing couldn’t say. She’d never been one for court gossip or sect politics, preferring to spend her time studying and cultivating even before she was stretched thin with fear and responsibility. So perhaps it wasn’t actually that strange that she’d missed the subtle transition from idle chatter to political discourse. But by the time she realized their topics had become less-than-frivolous, the tension was already building across the table.

“Lan Wangji,” Nie Huaisang said with a sly smile, “has argued for you to be allowed to attend your nephew’s 100th day celebration.”

Wei Wuxian’s empty tea cup clattered to the table. “He has not.”

“He has.”

“And?”

Wei Wuxian was doing the thing with his voice where he tries not to sound over eager. It never worked very well. The man wore his emotions like he wore that bright, red hair-ribbon of his. His face was glowing with curiosity and trepidation, both. Nothing quite like hope, but maybe desire.

“And Jin Guangshan has agreed that you should attend.”

The desire dashed into dejection.

“Fuck.”

Nie Huaisang sighed, whipping open his fan and idly waving it. A restless gesture, rather than a cooling one. “Indeed.”

Silence settled between them for a moment. Wei Wuxian’s brow furrowed in the way it did when he was considering a deceptively simple solution to a particularly complex problem. He cocked his head to one side and asked, with no small amount of anxiety slowing his words, “You don’t think Lan Zhan--”

But Nie Huaisang cut him off with a snap of his fan. “No,” he said with surprising weight and confidence for all that he has spent the entire conversation up until this moment prevaricating and professing his general ignorance.

Wei Wuxian, though, seemed comforted by this, taking him at his word and nodding.

It was strange, this interaction. Nie Huaisang, or at least Wen Qing’s impression of him during the lectures at the Cloud Recesses, was a flighty and distractible disciple. He was lazy in his classwork, even lazier in his martial arts. And, though he painted beautiful fans, he used them too often to avoid difficult conversations at all cost.

The man before her now, in this moment and this moment alone, looked like a competent advisor to the venerable Chifeng-zun.

“Lan Wangji is naïve and idealistic,” said Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian grinned at that.

“Aren’t we all, Nie-xiong.” He raised his eyebrows like it was a joke.

After all they’d all been through, Wen Qing supposed it only could be a joke, but it was still one she wasn’t exactly in on.

“Ah, it’s true,” Nie Huaisang agreed, opening his fan with a puerile smile and becoming, for all appearances, the featherbrained boy of their youth once more. “We are, we are.”

Wen Qing schooled her face into something like understanding as she tried to fit together the pieces of conversation that the two weren’t having. So far she’d gathered that the invitation was a trap, but she could have told them that from the beginning. There was something else hiding in the words that they weren't saying, but Wen Qing didn’t have enough of anything to figure out what it was. Which was frustrating.

It was no secret that Wei Wuxian was brilliant. Fourth-ranked in their generation or not, the man was infamous for his… unique solutions to difficult problems. She knew intimately how unique those solutions could be. But Wen Qing had never seen that ingenuity extend to politics. Or people in any kind of broader sense.

He had been, however, the head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang. A position that required both political acumen and a sense for leadership. Especially if he was awarded the position over the sect heir, regardless of cultivation skill.

It was an uncomfortable realization that she, just like everybody else in the cultivation world, had underestimated him. She thought she would have known better by now.

It was similarly uncomfortable to realize just how much she had underestimated the Nie sect heir, too. Because, even now, she had no idea how intelligent and observant he was. And she had the distinct impression that her ignorance -- both of Nie Huaisang’s cleverness and of the underlying thread of this conversation -- was by design.

Nie Huaisang flapped his fan back-and-forth and stared at it like nothing more interesting than that painted scene was happening around him. “He’s still writing your invitation as we speak.”

Wen Qing couldn’t help her brow from furrowing at that. “Then how are you here so fast, Nie-er-gongzi?” she asked, barely keeping her tone genial, even as frustration mounted in her chest.

“Oh, Qing-jie,” said Wei Wuxian with a grin that she knew boded mischief. “Did you know that just southwest of here there is a rather large and impressive freshwater lake?”

Wen Qing didn’t shake her head. She didn’t groan. She didn’t grab him by the shoulders and yell, “How is that relevant?!” She had greater composure than that. If she could stand at attention in front of Wen Ruohan while he openly threatened her brother, she could contain her reaction to a simple quirk of her eyebrow.

“It’s true!” said Nie Huaisang, snapping his fan closed and gesturing with it. “It’s on top of a plateau and in the winter there are hundreds of species of birds--”

She cuts him off. “So, you weren’t in the room when this decision was made, then.”

“Ah, no, Wen-guniang,” he said, ducking his head as if in apology. Then, allowing a glimpse of his cleverness to show in his eyes he asked, “But have I told you yet of my fondness for birds? Of many kinds?”

Spies, she understood. He had a network of spies that could reach even into the private halls of Lanling. She understood, too, that she was being given this information with trust. That it was only a hint of what the Nie heir was capable of and that Wei Wuxian’s trust in her was transitive.

She smiled. “I’m sure I don’t need the details, Nie-er-gongzi.”

“Good, good.” He smiled back, sharp but only for a flash before it was genial and light and then hidden behind his open fan once more. “I’d hate to bore you.”

Wen Qing’s heart hammered in her chest for a moment, a fear response she knew well how to mask. She wondered what exactly her body had interpreted as a threat.

“So, what are you saying, Huaisang?” Wei Wuxian asked, not bothering to hide his agitation, but also skillfully directing Nie Huaisang’s attention back to himself and giving Wen Qing the room she needed to breathe.

“I’m saying I’ll go with you,” Nie Huaisang said, simply. Like anything about that statement was simple.

“With me?” Wei Wuxian scoffed, incredulous. “You want to walk into Lanling and declare Qinghe Nie’s support of Yiling Laozu?”

But Nie Huaisang just nodded and said, “I do.”

“Huaisang!”

“And,” he continued, plowing through Wei Wuxian’s disbelief like oxen through rice fields, “I want to shelter the Wen Remnants in Qinghe.”

Wen Qing felt her eyes bulging out of their sockets, but Wei Wuxian just laughed and waved a hand dismissively.

“I want to marry Lan Zhan and bear him children,” he said in an uncharacteristically honest admission, flippant though it was. “Not all things are possible, Nie-xiong.”

Nie Huaisang looked nothing short of delighted at his friend’s candor but, undeterred, said, “Bearing his children may be outside even your scope, but offering you the protection of Qinghe Nie is not outside of mine.”

Wen Qing considered his words carefully. Considered all of the things she had learned about him as a person in this short conversation.

“At what cost?” she asked.

“What cost?” he responded, playing the fool as easily as breathing.

Even now, even knowing all that she did, she could almost believe it again.

Luckily, Wei Wuxian was not similarly affected.

“Huaisang,” he said, chastising his friend like he might a misbehaving shidi. “We both know that you wouldn’t even be hinting at something like this without your da-ge’s permission. No matter how much porn you smuggled into the Cloud Recesses, you don’t actually have a death wish. Nie Mingjue would allow you many things, but this?”

Ignoring the comment about porn -- another shared joke Wen Qing wasn’t privy to -- she agreed. She remembered the stories her clansmen and sect members had told about Chifeng-zun during the war. She remembered her cousin’s severed head displayed proudly at the gate of the Unclean Realm. “He hates Qishan Wen more than anybody.”

Nie Huaisang, to his credit, didn’t deny it. He hesitated for a moment but conceded with a nod and a tap of his closed fan, “He does. But!” The fan opens again, “But, he’s not entirely unreasonable.”

Wen Qing could feel Wei Wuxian rolling his eyes next to her, even if she couldn't see it.

“What’s the cost, Huaisang?” he asked, impatience hard-edged in his voice.

Nie Huaisang tapped his fan on the table a few more times. Another restless gesture, perhaps, as he collected his words into an order he thought might best be presented to his friend.

In hindsight, Wen Qing thinks it very strange that this was the moment Nie Huaisang found most uncertain. Most delicate. But then, maybe this pause, this careful consideration and apparent reluctance, was all an act, too.

In the end, whether it was calculated or not never really mattered.

Nie Huaisang fixed Wei Wuxian with soft eyes and a determined frown, leaned forward enough to brace an elbow on the table, and said,

“How much do you know about the Saber Path, Wei-xiong?”