#also why did you send me an ask instead of just? continuing our convo? assuming this is the same person ig | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rwbyremnants · 4 years ago

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CHAPTER WARNINGS: Hard convos and fluff (and awkward almost-incesty feelings)

Getting pretty close to the end! Also I started writing a new project - I know I know, I'm not even done posting this and Princess And The Dragons! Believe me there's just a ton of fics I could keep posting for all eternity, but they're all a complete mess (except the 2 I'm working on posting now). I might hit the fuck it point and post a few of them without doing any editing or rereading to make sure they make any sense. Yay for all that information nobody asked for!

=Chapter 10

A few months passed. Ruby had no further contact with Winter after she drove away from her, apart from one message she asked Penny to send, establishing that she no longer wanted to continue their arrangement. No more sessions, no more visits to the club, nothing. Even the casual texts had stopped, or the occasional silly snaps back and forth of each other's day; it was like they had never met. Strangers.

Then came an occasion she was dreading. There were other family gatherings she had managed to bow out of – anything to avoid awkward contact again out of fear of embarrassing herself; but this wasn't one she could squirm her way out of so easily. Weiss's birthday. She would never want to avoid her idol's celebration, especially not when she was specially invited! Dodging that one would also raise suspicion, and make it far more obvious that she was avoiding something to the other guests.

Plus, she didn't want to hurt her any more than she already had. Her guilt was too heavy. Time to bite the bullet and say hello.

All she could do was mentally prepare while she was out shopping with Yang, looking for an ideal present with her wife. She had promised that she would look after whatever she bought so Weiss didn't find it; at least that was a promise she could keep without anyone getting hurt.

"Hey, how about a cute little pony?"

When Ruby looked over, she saw Yang was holding up some kind of rainbow-painted porcelain horse tchotchke. She practically welcomed the distraction, no matter how mundane. Raising an eyebrow, she laughed, "Oh God, are you gonna turn her into one of those kooky nerds who has a billion of those?"

"Well… no…" Putting it back, Yang sighed and looked around. "But I'm totally drawing a blank this year. You know she's the one who's good at picking out gifts, and I just… suck ass."

Still trying to distract herself, Ruby smirked back toward her, walking a couple of steps backward to keep their pace in the store. "She told me enough times she liked what you got her last year. You know… the 'banana'?" If she wasn't going to be able to distract herself with small goods, she could by embarrassing her favourite sister. "She tells me everything when she gets drunk, unfortunately."

Ducking her blonde head, her big sister groaned and muttered, "God, Weiss… why can't you handle your booze?" She cleared her throat and spoke up to say, "But I don't wanna get her another 'toy' this time. I want it to be something sweet. Y'know, romantic and shit."

"Oooh…" That didn't give Ruby all too much to work with. While Yang and Weiss were definitely happy together, even she knew romance wasn't Yang's strong point. Aside from throwing herself in the path of an explosion that time a few years ago, the closest she had gotten was buying flowers on one occasion; only to get rid of them when they discovered Weiss was allergic. That was a story she wouldn't let her live down.

"Well, what kinds of things has she been into lately? Anything she mentions in passing or something?"

"Um… music? Frilly dresses and expensive perfume? Marrying the worst girlfriend in the world?" Sighing, she leaned back against a shelving unit full of lawn gnomes and hung her head. "I'll just get her another Victoria's Secret gift card."

"Doesn't that kinda count as a present for yourself? Just saying…" But Yang's phrasing didn't sit well in Ruby's own mind. Sure, she didn't know what sorts of presents were romantic and usually ended up with a cop-out gift, but at least she wasn't hurting anyone in the process of that. The worst girlfriend award for sure went to Ruby Rose. "And we both know she has the better of the Xiao Long-Rose sisters, so don't say you're the worst, dork."

"Does not! You're the real prize, and Penny is so lucky! Geeze, if you weren't with her, I'd be beating guys and girls off you with a stick!"

Even if it was meant positively, Ruby wasn't particularly in the mood to play along. Instead, she shrugged her shoulders reluctantly as she wandered out of the store, walking aimlessly in the direction of a jeweller’s. "Nah, I'm lucky to even have Penny. Don't even know how she puts up with me sometimes."

After a moment, Yang followed. She took so long to respond that by then, Ruby assumed she had forgotten the topic. Then…

"Okay, spill. What's been up with you the past couple months?"

"H-huh?" Even if it was a question she should have expected, she was taken aback, instantly finding herself on the defensive. "N-nothing! I was just saying that Penny's good for putting up with me, that's all!"

"Yeah, but you and Penny never fight. She hasn't seemed unhappy being with you or anything like that, at all." Folding her arms over her ample chest, she demanded, "So what's up, Rubes? Spill – unless you want me to tickle it out of you."

No getting out of that not-so-idle threat, no matter how much she tried. And even if Yang didn’t tickle her, she would be like a dog with a bone. Sighing, she looked downward sadly, still idly pacing around in the hope either of them would see something of interest for Weiss.

"It's not Penny and me that have had issues. We're fine. Our relationship's been pretty solid for a while…" When she stopped in front of the bracelets, she debated where to begin, whether or not to tell the story. In the end… "But… I’m, uh…"

Sensing this was big, Yang slid an arm around Ruby's shoulders. "You can tell me anything. If you could handle me coming out and transitioning, I can handle whatever's bugging you."

In the end, that tilted the scales. Yang deserved to know, since she had always been so open with her. At the same time, she didn't need to know who it was. The thought of that conversation coming to light certainly wasn't a good one given Yang's past with Winter.

"You know Penny and I don't… y'know, that often. So, um, Penny let me go out and see someone else, purely for sex. It worked out so great at first, me and this other girl had an amazing connection… but I had to go and ruin it."

For a moment, all Yang could do was blink in surprise. "Whoa, really? Never thought of you as a 'side chick' kinda girl." She hastily added, "But that's cool! I mean, if you have needs and Penny's okay with it, why the hell not?"

"Yeah, heh… I guess." Scratching the back of her head nervously, she couldn't look Yang in the eye anymore. The situation was too sensitive. "But it got deeper than that. Penny and I talked about it as well, and… and we realised that I was falling for this other girl the same way as Penny. Which she felt, too. But then… then I said some really stupid stuff and made a huge mess."

"Falling for both of them?" But of course, Yang had mostly been saying that to confirm it to herself. Blinking a few more times, she then asked, "What kinda stuff? Like, maybe it wasn't as bad as you thought."

"L-like…" There was the awkward part; she didn't know how to word what was happening without possibly outing either Winter or Qrow. Sighing in frustration, she looked back up. "Okay imagine if, I mean just imagine here – you're about to confess your feelings to Weiss for the first time, but then when you're just about to, you find out she's been sleeping with… with Dad or someone as close as that. Y-you'd be shocked, right? Shocked enough to really hurt her feelings on accident?"

For a long moment, Yang just tried to process the very idea being put across to her. Then she burst out, "Dad's been banging your side-chick?!"

"No!!!" Quickly slapping a hand to her forehead, she groaned out in frustration; one that had a couple of people turning to look at them. "I said 'someone as close as', not Dad himself! But that's not the point, anyway!" Looking around some more of the various watches and charm bracelets, Ruby sighed again. "I was yelling at her how if she cared she would have told me, because that was happening before I started hooking up with her, and during. And like, she knew this person was close to me! And I ended up… ended up learning I'd hurt her on other occasions without meaning to. Bad."

This time, Yang took even longer to respond. They both went back to looking over the things in the displays, picking them up and putting them down. Neither really paying much attention to what they were seeing.

"This, um…" Yang held up a tennis bracelet with a musical note dangling from it. "Is this dumb? I… think she could like it, but I, um…"

Again, Ruby welcomed the distraction. As much as she needed advice for what to do next, she much preferred to ignore the subject and keep burying her head in the sand. "That is super cute, actually. Maybe you can get another little snowflake charm for it too?"

"Ooh, that's a good idea… let me know if you find anything like that. Or maybe a star, because…" Her voice got quieter as she added, "She's my star."

Despite Yang having meant it genuinely, Ruby only saw her usual attitude of pun making and groaned again. "That was sooooo bad, international superstar. But stars and snowflakes, got it."

"Y-yeah," Yang replied with a feigned laugh. Clearly she had thought that was really romantic and it fell flat.

They both dug through the display for a little while longer, and Yang did eventually find a snowflake. Ruby was still hunting for a star when she walked back over. Clearly her mind was preoccupied.

"Um… hey Ruby?"

"Hmm?" Noticing that Yang had found what she wanted, she turned back to the display a moment to look longer. "Still can't find a star… Do you mind if it's a typical one? Or do you want a more… what? Something wrong?"

"The typical one is fine, we dug through most of 'em." Then she cleared her throat and tried to sound unconcerned as she asked, "So, were you, uh, maybe, kinda… sleeping with Blake?"

That'd made Ruby drop the small charm she had picked up, which bounced and rolled under one of the displays before she could catch it. At least it was one of the cheapest ones. "Oh, shoot! Noooo!"

“Those things are dime a dozen. C’mon, I asked you a serious question.”

She looked back around to her sister reluctantly. "No, not Blake. I mean, she said she thinks I'm cute before, but also said she would never want to because of your past. Kinda... crossing the streams, or whatever."

"Okay," she sighed in relief. "Whew! Just… you know, I noticed you guys were kinda hanging out sometimes, and… like, I never for sure thought you were, but that’s the only obvious guess I have."

Breathing with relief, Ruby laughed nervously with her. "T-that's fine! Nah, she and Sun seem to be exclusive to each other, from what I know, at least."

Under her breath, Yang muttered, "She's said that one before…" Then she cleared her throat and said, "Okay, Ruby. Whatever went on between you and whoever… it sounds like you were going past just bumping uglies and into really caring about each other. Weren't you?"

"H-hey, it wasn't like-!" But as much as she wanted to deny it, Yang was right; that was the simplest way to put it. Looking downward, she mumbled, "Yeah… we were."

"But… she's also doing stuff with someone really close to you, and it kinda gives you the 'this room is too crowded' vibe?" When Ruby didn't answer, she sighed and ran a hand through her bangs. "Whoo. That's rough."

"She’s also roommates with this person," Ruby added. It seemed like a major detail to leave in given the situation. Pacing to the other displays, she explained in more detail. "I'm not really mad about that anymore, I guess… I'm more mad that I hurt her. Not just by yelling at her about that, but that I left before talking it though. And that I hurt her before all this ugliness and didn't even know I did."

"God… and you were just gonna walk around with all this weighing you down?" Reaching over, she tousled Ruby's hair until it was a messy brown-and-red mop. It was one of the few things she had done when she was Ying that still lingered, even with how much she had changed before Ruby's eyes as they both grew up.

"Sis, I can only work with the facts I got. From where I'm standing… it sounds like this, um, person is worth it to you to go out on a limb for. I’ve been watching you moping around the past few months, and it's like… like something's missing inside you. And maybe your hookup isn't what you need, or maybe she- they are, and… I think you owe it to both of you to try. Just… I don't know, talk to ‘em again. Be chill and see where it goes."

"How?" she asked desperately with a little shrug. "How can I be 'chill' about it when I more or less said 'fuck you and what you've been through' to her face? Like… okay, it wasn't those exact words, sure; but the message was the same."

Though Yang did wince at the implication of saying something like that to someone, she gripped Ruby's shoulder. Unfortunately, due to her ignorance of the topic, her phrasing was less than ideal. "Hey, so you messed up in a… not small way. Sometimes to get what you want, you gotta eat a little crow."

Which was rather noticeable, given that she immediately shut her eyes tightly at the remark. "GOD I'd rather not hear 'Crow' and 'Eat' in the same sentence, you have no idea…"

But whether Ruby liked it or not, her sister was completely right. The problem wasn't going to be solved by hiding from each other; they needed to talk. To apologise, say their piece, and learn. Even if they ended up still avoiding each other after, the least they could do was try.

Apparently, Yang had been trying to talk to her all along, because she finally said, "Yooo, you in there, little Ruby? Big sis calling!" Then a fist was knocking on the top of her head, albeit lightly.

"GAH!" Flinching as soon as her head was touched, she nearly managed to knock the bracelet from Yang's hand! But right away she composed herself again, scratching her head. "S-sorry… I spaced. What were you saying?"

"I was saying that we should probably check out," Yang laughed easily, beaming her usual confident smile down at Ruby. "This bracelet's kinda lame, but it's literally the only idea I've had all day that doesn't make me wanna hurl myself into a volcano."

Ruby could only smile back, handing over the small star charm she had unearthed. "I actually think it's really cute, she'll love it."

But just after they'd finished checking out and re-entered the mall complex, Ruby was attempting to get some information of her own. She had been wanting to for a while, but didn't know how without raising suspicion. As naturally she could, she asked, "So… who's coming to the party? Me, Penny… who else?"

"Oh, well you know. Family people. Plus FNKI is supposed to be there, and Blake and Sun." Pointing, she asked, "Smoothies? My treat, for helping me out with this."

"Yeah, I guess smoothies wouldn’t break the bank," Ruby laughed, following her big sis. "Family people… so Dad, Jacques… Winter…?"

With a slow drawl, Yang answered, "Riiiight. That's who family is. Oh, I don't know if Uncle Qrow RSVP'd yet or not; he was invited. But Dad's gonna be there for sure." Then she looked suspiciously at Ruby. "Unless there's a problem with Dad being there…?"

"Why would I have a problem with Da-" But given the rather serious look, Ruby rolled her eyes. "Look, Dad was an example. This friend isn't actually sleeping with Dad. If she was, he would be living in the house with them, cause they are roommates with the person, remember? And no, it’s not Penny, and it’s really not me."

"Well yeah, I guess. Just double-checking, okay?" When Ruby still seemed irritated, she sighed and said, "Okay, I won't ask who's who again. I get it, this is sensitive. But… I do hope you get whatever's going on squared away. And promise me you won't sit on it until too much time went by, and now you feel like you can't speak up. Please?"

Eyebrows furrowing, Ruby looked up to her sister anxiously. She was genuinely worried about her… and had good reason to be, given what she had to deal with a few years ago; of course now that a somewhat similar situation presented itself, even if only affecting her sister, she would be on edge. But not wanting to let on how truly she was bothered by this, Ruby instead looked at the smoothie menu.

"Get me a banana and blueberry smoothie and it's a deal."

But all Yang groaned in response was, "Do you have to pick 'banana'? I'm already embarrassed enough about that as it is!"

----------------------------------------

"…but she’s been saying she wants to eat more organic, so I figured, buying some vegetable plant seeds could be an idea; something to do with little Fèn once she gets older, also. Not such a boring present, is it?"

Winter’s father had offered to drive her to her sister’s birthday party to both spare her sobriety and cab fare. He insisted strongly, despite her reluctance to be in his company. In recent days, that seemed to be worryingly common; for her to be alone or seem a little more uptight and serious than usual. Even if he had never mentioned it, her father certainly noticed.

And when noticing she still wasn't particularly listening on this occasion, he cleared his throat. "S-so… Amber couldn't come. She had something with her own family she couldn't miss, so you and Weiss will have to meet her properly another time."

"Hmm? Oh, yes… that's wonderful, Father." It was a stock answer. Winter would normally have offered up something a lot more in-depth and pointed, but it seemed she still wasn't up to the task.

In fact, she had spent most of the past months avoiding any time alone with her father. Not that he would know why. Not that they never talked, but their discussions had been fewer and further between ever since he told her about Amber. Poor Jacques. The only cause he could think of was the possibility that Winter didn't like his flowering relationship. And no wonder; no one would like to hear their parent had moved on, much less such details.

While they were at a red light, he looked around to her, asking, "You… aren't mad at me for dating again, are you?"

"What?" she asked, roused from her reverie. "No, not at all… oh, Father, I'm sorry. My mind is just elsewhere." Frowning over at him, she told him as earnestly as she could, "I didn't mean to make you think I disapprove of Amber."

There was a wave of relief, and right away he swept the sweat from his brow. "Phew! You had me worried there! Last thing I wanted to do was make you or Weiss feel uncomfortable." As the light turned green, his attention returned to the road, but he didn't drop the subject. "Then what is wrong, dear? You've seemed off for a long time now."

"Have I?" she asked, trying to sound as convincing as she could. She shifted in her seat, trying to find a more comfortable position. "Sorry about that. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Well, you have been a little," he admitted. "So, if it's not Amber… what is it? Is there something I should be concerned about? Have I done anything to upset you?"

"No, nothing," she answered immediately. There was no way she could ever tell him why she was so uncomfortable in his presence now - especially since it was getting easier to manage a little at a time. So she had to distract him, and she could only find one topic that would adequately excuse her standoffishness without making her poor father feel worse. "Just… I was beginning to think I might have found an 'Amber' of my own. But the relationship fell through before I could figure that part out."

"Oooohh… so, it's relationship trouble." While it was a better assumption than the whole truth, it was still awkward for old Jacques Schnee. He wasn't used to talking to his daughters in such circumstances until a couple of years ago, so the advice was always rusty. Still, he tried. "There's always more fish in the sea, even if you have to swim a little further out, I suppose. I know you get out more than I do, I'm sure you'll find a nice… girl, to settle down with someday."

Laughing weakly, Winter crossed her legs in the opposite direction, hoping against hope that it would abate her discomfort. No such luck. "Doubtful. I just don't feel that kind of connection with people. Not until…" Did she dare confirm? "Until she came along."

"I see… the one that got away, hmm?" Given the silence, that was also confirmed. While it wasn't as easy for him as it would be talking to a son about this sort of thing, he tried his best to treat her in the same way he would a son, and cleared his throat. "Girls are very mysterious. One minute you think you have them figured out, the next, you're back to square one. Or in your case, square zero. Of course, you know that, being a woman yourself." Scratching his head nervously, he tried to continue, "But what I'm saying is, don't bet all your money on one horse. If it's not meant to be, it won't happen. If it is, things will… well, they'll find a way to work."

"But I wasn't putting money on any horse," she sighed. "My feelings came as a complete surprise to me; I wasn't even looking! And then…" There had to be a way to discuss this without going into specifics. "We had an argument. About our relationship, and how we hadn't been entirely honest about our situations. It should have been something we could work through, but…"

"Ah, of course. Nobody likes complications." They weren't too far from the house, but rather than pull right up to the drive, he pulled the car over onto the shoulder a moment. "Listen, I'm not very good at this, you can tell; but it sounds like you both left everything up in the air rather than talking through the issue properly."

Winter could feel her anxiety rising. They were so close! She hadn't been mentally prepared to be alone with him for any longer than the drive there. But she also didn't want to squander this chance to have a non-superficial conversation with her father; they were so rare, and if she avoided this one she might not get another for a while. Or might even lead him to believe she hated him. That wouldn’t do.

"I wanted to try again. But she let me know we were done. That… she didn't want to see me anymore. She was so upset, I… how can I approach her if she hates me?"

Leaning back in his seat, Jacques sighed deeply, drumming his fingers against the top of the steering wheel as some form of distraction. "How indeed. Then again, your mother and I used to have our fair share of arguments before we got serious; sometimes, shit happens." It was unusual for her father to swear, even more so when he was calm. Still, it meant they were possibly getting somewhere. "Perhaps arrange to meet under more neutral circumstances?"

"Perhaps so." Her eyes flicked toward her sister’s house and the promise of safety, and she sighed. "We'll see. It feels so hopeless, but… I should at least apologise for my part of our misunderstanding. Then it would be up to her, right?"

"Exactly." He smiled toward her. "The ball will be in her court, as it were. If she wants to play, she will. If not… well, you can say you did everything you possibly could. It's disappointing if it does come to that, but in the end, it's far more satisfying to say you tried than to give up without trying."

Nodding glumly, she tried to let herself believe him. It was so hard! But she knew it was the truth; yes, Ruby was well within her right to end their arrangement, even without what went on with Qrow. Even so, that didn't mean she and her sister-in-law couldn't patch up their friendship, and discuss what went wrong like mature adults.

"You're right, of course. It's… I'll think about it. Thank you."

Nodding happily, he put his hands back on the wheel again to drive the last few seconds of the journey. Already, there were a few cars and bikes on the drive from the various guests. One of which included the small red car that Winter recognised so much: Ruby's.

Oblivious to that, Jacques was already taking off his seatbelt and opening the door. "In the meantime, just enjoy the party today. I'm sure Weiss will let you hold Fèn for longer than a couple of minutes this time!"

"Don't count on it," she laughed as they exited the car and began walking up towards the lakehouse. Despite their difficulties and Winter's private discomfort, she really did appreciate the talk more than she could say.

Once they got inside, they could see most of the guests had arrived. Yang and a few members of FNKI were loitering in the spacious entryway. One or two other children from Fenléng's daycare were toddling back and forth in the living room, their mothers likely nearby. Winter thought it was nice that she had a few little friends to play with.

"I'll be back in a bit, guys," Yang reassured both Flynt and Inu upon noticing the new guests. Suspecting they hadn't seen Weiss yet, she thought it best to greet the newcomers herself, managing to scoot past them to welcome her inlaws with open arms. "There you two are! Figured you got lost, again."

Jacques chuckled to himself, accepting a quick hug from her with a pat on the back. "That was just one time. Where is my other pride and joy, anyway?"

"Out in the garden with Ruby! I think they wanted to catch up a little bit before we gave Weiss her presents and stuff. You can head through, if you want?"

Raising a small bag and the box from Jacques, Winter said, "Where shall I put these?"

"Oh, I'll take 'em while we go through, it's on the way. Weiss's been waiting for you guys to turn up!"

With a brief wave goodbye to the two guests, Yang journeyed through the living room with both of Weiss’s relations following behind. She detoured to the kitchen with the two gifts, adding them to the pile, then leading Winter and Jacques to the rear conservatory doors. And there in plain sight were Ruby and Weiss, sat together on the bench.

The circumstances couldn't be any worse. Both Jacques and Weiss were completely unaware of the tension between Winter and Ruby. It gave no time for either of them to prepare mentally, especially not when Jacques was already walking outside toward them both, calling out to get their attention. "There she is! Twenty-two years young."

Turning, Weiss smirked at him as she said, "You got it right this year, Father. I'm impressed." Then her smile widened and she said, "Hey, sister of mine!"

"Happy birthday," Winter said, smiling gently. For the moment, she could forget about the girl sitting next to her sister. Ruby was definitely very important to her, but this wasn't her day, and it wasn't Winter's. "How does it feel to be another year wiser?"

"About the same," she laughed back with a little shrug. "Yang and I were just talking about that this morning; every year is just an encore, isn't it?"

"Once you're past twenty-one, it is pretty much the same,” Jacques chuckled. “Still, gives us an excuse to have a drink or two."

While he was making small talk with his daughter, Ruby continued to sit still with a drink in hand, staring toward the ground nervously. She knew Winter was there, but was far too scared to even make eye contact with her. Clearly, she had been just as cut up as Winter was in the first place. At least that was one small good sign; the pseudo-breakup wasn’t already an irrelevant event for the girl.

"So, how many others are on their way?" Winter asked, hands in the small of her back.

"Well, there's Blake and Sun," Weiss began to list off as she embraced sister. "Taiyang is on his way with Qrow. That might be everyone, right, honey?"

"Blake just messaged and said she's on the way," spoke up Yang from behind them, who had just finished putting the gifts away and was now coming to a stop by her wife’s side. "Aaaand Dad's on the way but a little held up because he went to get Penny from the airport. That’ll be a while, so… should we do presents?"

"You guys go ahead," Ruby said from her seat. At least now she raised her head a little, and looked outward to the large lake rather than at the floor like she was before. "I'm just gonna… chill here for a minute. Crazy week."

"Sorry to hear that," Winter said almost automatically. Then she cleared her throat and hastily turned to Weiss. "Are you ready for presents, or would you rather wait for Blake and Sun?"

"We can wait. In fact, now that I've stopped breastfeeding, I'm ready to have a drink. Can I get you something?"

Smiling demurely, she responded, "Oh, come on; this is your day. I can make drinks for both of us. What will everyone have?"

"Maybe Weiss already has the drinks I…" Though before she could finish that quip, Yang realised just who was in their company. They might well be on good terms, but an adult breastfeeding joke might be a bit too much for the subject’s father and sister to take. Winding back, she cleared her throat again. "Yeah, but I'll get them though, seriously. I know Weiss wants a strawberry daiquiri, and I’m still on the dry list. You two…?"

"I'm driving, so just sparkling water for me. What about you, Winter?" Jacques asked, although he was about ready to head inside.

Her eyes flicked to Yang, but then she said, "Martini, dry, single olive. That is, if it's no trouble."

"Nope, not at all!."

Weiss and Jacques headed inside first, with him asking about how she was and how Fènleng had been. It was always the subject whenever he came over now. But before Winter could step inside, Yang's hand landed on her shoulder, pulling her slightly around.

"Hey… you got a minute?"

That was quite startling for the elder of the Schnee sisters. Glancing both between the door inside and Ruby on the bench, she asked, "Of course, what's up?"

Glancing back at her little sister for a quick moment herself, she leant in closer toward Winter, talking in a hushed tone. "Okay, this is gonna be a weird request, but could you talk to her? This past few months she's had a bad case of the blues about, um, this situation she’s in. I know it's weird asking since she barely knows you, but… I'm kinda at a roadblock."

"Me?" Gulping, she glanced back at Ruby, then again at Yang. The woman she had treated so badly once upon a time. "I… don't have the greatest track record with helping people. Mentally. I'm honestly very surprised you'd ask me."

"Well, I'm stuck… Weiss is stuck, Penny's stuck… we're out of options. Not that you're a bad option, that's not what I'm saying at all! I mean, I know it's not gonna be the same as when you talked me into leaving and-" Sensing she was rambling, however, she looked down when the quizzical gaze of Winter met her own. "Bad start… bad start. But, yeah… if it's okay with you, could you? She may open up more if it's with somebody who doesn’t know her as well as us."

"Yang… you have me all wrong. I'm honoured you trust me to help her, and I'll definitely do my very best. Just… surprised." Swallowing hard, she whispered, "I've been hoping to… make things up to you; I know I can't, but anything I can do to try…"

"Oh pssshhh, I wasn't even thinking about that!" Yang quickly assured her, even laughing a little just to prove it. But in a short moment she squeezed her shoulder, just enough to convey she was serious. "I'm asking as a sister-in-law. Not as a 'you owe me'. Please?"

That prompted Winter to sigh in mild relief as she patted the hand on her shoulder. "That means the world to me. And yes, of course; I just apologise in advance if the talk doesn't do as much good as we both hope."

"Least we can say we tried. I'll have your drink ready in a second."

Finally releasing the shoulder, she headed back in the house behind Weiss and Jacques, leaving the two girls outside alone. Ruby, who was still trying to look to one side with her beverage to do anything to avoid looking her way; and Winter, who was awkward enough thinking about what needed to be done. It was pretty obvious Ruby wouldn't be the one starting.

There was so much she wanted to say, but in the end all she did was pace up behind the bench, come to a stop, and ask, "So… how have you been?"

Nervously shrugging her shoulders, Ruby kept watching the lake while she took a sip of her drink. Damn Yang… she didn't know anything about the situation, yet had somehow managed to convince Winter to do the very thing they needed to - despite her wanting to run a mile from it!

"G-good," she murmured after the sip, resting the hand back on her knee again. "J-just, um, doing so-so. And you?"

"I've been better… but I've been worse. So… I guess the same as you." She looked down towards her hands, white-knuckling on the back of the bench, and tried to relax. It wasn't working. "How are… you and Penny?"

Yet again, she shrugged her shoulders. However this time she at least made some form of effort to acknowledge her needs, by scooting to one side of the bench. "Not too bad, I guess. She has a new job, but she's been kinda stressed because I've been super tired a lot of the time."

Realising it would look strange if she kept standing there when there was an empty seat, she rounded it, sitting down as far away as she could from Ruby. Hopefully, she wouldn't feel crowded. "Why so tired? If it's not too much to ask about. Feel free to tell me it's none of my business, I…" But she didn't finish her thought.

"O-oh, it's nothing. J-just… uh…" Seemed it was more than nothing, especially when it came to the person she was admitting this to. But trying her best, she eventually shrugged her shoulders after another drink. "Just… felt a little off, that's all. I-it's like that sometimes."

"You should talk to your sister about that. She would know more about that, since she's… already on medication. No thanks to me," she added in a bitter undertone.

Closing her eyes, Ruby sighed deeply as she placed her glass on the ground and out the way. "That wasn't your fault entirely, you know. There were a lot of issues at the time with her, hiding under the surface. And besides, I'm pretty sure it’s not genetic; my parents weren’t diagnosed with stuff like that. So if it’s anybody, it’s Yang’s mom, I guess."

"Still, you… should work on what's troubling you." This was getting harder to dance around, and when she thought about doing so, she found she was unable to. "Because despite… how things played out, I still want what's best for you, Ruby. There's just no sense in you suffering if you can talk to someone, sort things out. Medication or no medication."

"I'm not depressed," she corrected. Although from the way she kept staring toward the ground, she wasn't exactly doing anything to prove that comment wrong. In the end, she placed her hands on the bottom of her small skirt, grasping the hem anxiously. But in the end, she thought to herself; what good would it do to keep distracting and leaving things unsaid? "I've just… been upset. Not Depression, not anything else; I'm just sad, okay? It… it was my own stupid fault in the first place."

"What was?" When Ruby didn't answer immediately, she followed up with, "I don't want to assume anything. That isn't my right. But maybe whatever has upset you wasn't your fault alone, and… and then you wouldn't have to punish yourself so harshly. Right?"

For a long while, there was silence between them. Ruby continued to look downward, still unable to yet look up at someone she once couldn't get enough of. It was almost tragic how far they had drifted thanks to a single argument. But the silence was lifted by a small, but rather desperate whisper.

"I miss you."

Winter's head raised, eyes wide. Her mouth worked as if she would respond right away, but she forced herself to stop, to consider her words more carefully. Then she stated, "And I have missed you. So much."

Tucking a stray strand of hair out of her own face, she eventually settled to holding her hands together on her lap, idly crossing her legs to appear casual. Just on the off-chance anyone inside was looking. But already, she could feel everything she had bottled up coming loose, feel her heart thudding with fear, eyes welling up.

"I just got so mad," she began to confess. “S-so mad and so jealous… and I had n-no right to be. That wasn't fair. Not when I-I'd done things just as bad to you."

"You didn't realize what you had done was so…" Winter paused, having to breathe deeply. This wasn't something she made a habit of discussing, so even now, months later, it was difficult. "We both crossed a line that we didn't think as important to the other person as it turned out to be. Is… that fair to say?"

It was accurate. All Ruby had wanted to do was show Winter that she was brave enough to do more daring things, while Winter simply wanted to keep the two most important people in her life happy without awkward encounters. It was certainly a fair assessment. Nodding in agreement, she stared out toward the lake again in a somewhat more contented silence.

"…How's Qrow?"

"Oh, he's been alright. They promoted him to assistant manager of the bar; said he was doing a great job with the work but was a little rude to the customers, so he was better placed being rude to the bartenders."

"So he gets to sit at a desk behind the bar and drink? Sounds like an ideal job for him."

Winter smiled down at the hands in her lap. "You… probably don't want to know any more details than that, do you?"

Though that last comment didn't make Ruby laugh. Unfortunately, she was still rather awkward about that situation. "N-no… not really. I wanna hear if he's okay but not like, those details."

"Of course, of course," she replied hastily. "I have no problem with that. As long as you agree not to tease me about… about the other thing. We can bring it up from time to time, but don't tease. It just…" She looked away, biting her lip to keep from showing a reaction too severe.

"I know… I stepped over the line." Nervously she shuffled in her seat again, looking downward toward the floor. A look of pure shame. "The truth is… I just thought that maybe… if I used my intuition and showed that I could be daring enough to try something big like that, you'd be pleased with my progress. But now I know, t-that was completely wrong. That you can't ‘guess’ with this stuff."

The corner of her mouth ticked up as she conceded, "Well, to be fair, you were right with everything except the third person who happened to be in the room. But your performance was… I still have to fan myself thinking about how good you were."

"It… was pretty hot." Unsure if that was crossing the line or not, she shrugged her shoulders nervously. "That doesn't count as teasing, right? To admit that it was really… really thrilling?"

"No, not at all. I… could tell you how I really felt about it, if you promise not to pass judgment. A-and if you promise not to think it means I dislike you; just because I was angry and upset didn't mean I wanted you out of my life! I regret so much that I made it seem that way…"

"I wouldn't blame you if you did… I crossed the line," she admitted again. She knew she deserved more than that. She expected fury, rage even, but Winter had something else to say. "…g-go on?"

"What I said during play… that it really turned me on… I wasn't lying. It did. But admitting that means admitting that…" Winter's cheeks were pink already due to how long they had been talking about their last session, but she bravely forged ahead.

"On the car ride up here, I spent the entire time trying to ignore how wet I was getting. Because I was in the same car as my father. You were so good, and gave me such a powerful climax, that now… now I associate that with speaking to him, being in the same place as him. Which I'm so ashamed of; it's… not as if he had anything to do with it directly, or as if I want to sleep with him! GOD, no! But the two things are connected in my brain pretty strongly now." Now that the older woman had said her peace, she closed her eyes and waited for the reaction. However bad it might turn out to be.

"Ohhh…" Surprisingly, it was far easier for Ruby to take in than expected. While it was good to learn that she had given Winter an extremely powerful orgasm, and Winter was proud of her as a sub… learning that Winter now associated her own father with their escapades wasn't so good. In fact, when she thought about it…

It was the same association she now had with Qrow once learning who he was. Finding out that Qrow was another of Winter’s partners made such thoughts hard to totally block out. A sexual context for her own uncle. They were both dealing with those awful tricks of their minds. Only difference was, Ruby knew she would never accidentally be picturing her uncle during the act the same way Winter might with her father.

"Shit… I really screwed up…"

"Not so badly. I mean, it's almost fun, when I'm not disgusted with myself." A few seconds later, she added in a weak murmur, "That was supposed to be humourous, but after saying it, I realized it didn't come out that way…"

Still blinking, she finally looked more in Winter's direction than the floor at last. Not eye contact yet, but it was better than what it was. "Geeze, I just wanted to do something… adventurous. To be bold or whatever. I didn't want to ruin an entire person for you, let alone your own father!"

With another gentle, nervous smile, she turned back to face forward. "You don't have that much power, Ruby. He's not ruined, exactly… just… this is something I'll have to work through. But it does help to have a specific cause; you fucking me under the desk, instead of just 'Surprise, you're turned on in your father's presence'. Keeps me from thinking I'm even more of a deviant than I already am."

There was a small chuckle coming from her. "That would be the worst version of the Daddy kink."

"Ugh," Winter groaned, ducking her head. "Do you know how long I mentally dissected me moaning 'Daddy' when I’m being fucked?! I haven't called him that in over a decade, and I still had to worry about it!"

"Oh my god, I was kidding - I didn't know you had one!" The laugh was beginning to increase in volume. In fact, it would be the loudest anyone would have heard her laugh in weeks, even if it was a slight form of teasing. Their talk was working.

So Winter kept it going. Yes, she was uncomfortable with the subject matter, but it was also a relief to be able to get it out and discuss it instead of bottling everything up. "Well, I do, but it never had anything to do with my actual daddy until that night. Not as far as I knew, anyway." Shifting in her seat, she muttered, "You know what they say about all little girls wanting to marry their fathers…"

"Not me; never ever been interested in men. Even me being kinda weird about sex aside…" Finally, she felt her muscles relaxing as she grew more at ease; even began to smile. Maybe things were going to work out for them still being friends, after all. In the end, that's what they wanted, to be in one another's lives, regardless of feelings.

But Ruby didn't want to leave it there. Talking about where things went wrong with their arrangement was one thing, but with their feelings was another. They had come too far, said too much to leave it there without talking it through fully. If only she could take that first step.

Though Winter beat her to it. "If you're sure you want to keep these secrets, and aren't already disgusted by me…" Her eyes flicked up to Ruby's face, then away again, waiting. Bursting to speak, but afraid that she had already gone too far.

"I could never be disgusted with you." At long last, she looked up, and right at Winter's face. It was like she was seeing her for the first time all over again. She could already feel the bottled up feelings reemerging, the compulsive need to grab Winter and kiss her as hard as she could. But they had to talk it out first. "Even after all my thinking, all this time with these dumb thoughts… I can't be disgusted with you. I can't even dislike you. And I don't want to. Because all this time has passed and I… I-I… still…"

Almost as if to head her off, Winter went on, "G-good. Because it's been getting worse, even if I've been getting better at processing it; understanding it's a kink, and it doesn't make me bad for having a kink if I don't indulge it. That's not as bad, right?" Her eyes held Ruby's for just a moment, hopeful, drinking in the desire she saw reflected there, before she turned away.

"As you heard, my father has begun dating this Amber woman. I've seen her, and she really is attractive." More fidgeting from the elder Schnee sister. "S-so… I may have had a stray fantasy about walking in on them…"

"Well… I-I guess… um…" Truly speechless after that confession of hers, Ruby looked to one side wide eyed, scratching the back of her head nervously. Managing to force a chuckle of her own, she admitted, "I guess these things don't hurt. Fantasies and all that, different strokes for different folks."

"You know, I could tell he was flustered by that sketch of yours - which I framed, by the way, I hope I can show you how it looks framed. That… is part of what made it harder to forget this whole thing. He didn't know it, but he was finding me attractive." Then she cleared her throat, waving that away as best she could. "Which only makes sense; he's always told me I'm a lot like Mother was. Weiss is the one who looks so distinctly different, even though there's a family resemblance, of course."

"Weirdly? She looks like your dad, if he was a girl… if that makes sense?" She could only hope that would be enough to make her chuckle along with her. The strange thing was, at the start of this arrangement, she was so obsessed with Winter's likeness to Weiss. Now, she could completely separate them. When with Winter, it was like Weiss was never even a factor.

"She does!" Winter admitted with a giggle of her own, raising a hand to her mouth to hide it. Then she sighed and said, "Anyway, enough about my budding Electra complex before I develop a thing for Weiss, too." Turning more fully, she looked straight at Ruby with a sober gaze. "I'm so happy that we can talk again. It might not be easy, but I can't tell you how much I've missed this!"

Laughing right back with her, Ruby picked her drink back up from the ground. The smile on her face evolved into a grin. "Me too! This was one of the things I missed. I mean, Weiss and Blake are great to talk to, but you sorta get fed up with them bringing up their other halves like, all the time."

Nodding, Winter crossed her legs in a lot less discomfited gesture - though she still shivered slightly at the action. "Indeed, they do go on about each other. But it's a positive thing, that they're in such stable relationships." Glancing over at Ruby, she asked in a careful tone, "You and Blake didn't ever…?"

Drinking the final swig of her drink, Ruby shook her head lightly, drawing the glass away. "Nah. We agreed that'd be too weird with how she was with Yang and all. Plus, as much as she knows she's bisexual…" Shuffling up closer to Winter a moment, she quickly checked the area to make sure no one was in sight. Thankfully, they were all too distracted by the presents to even notice those two outside. Finally, she leaned into her ear, whispering, "She is definitely all about dicks."

Giggling, Winter whispered back, "I know. I offered to Dom her a few times, or to let her Dom me, and she said she 'wouldn't mind' but didn't seem all that excited about getting around to it. I saw that as the gentle kiss-off that it was, and never pushed for an answer."

"Yeah… She won't admit it, but she is a cockslut," Ruby whispered back. And yet even when she was done whispering, she didn't move away. Not yet. She had become content with sitting right at Winter's side, even leaning in slightly toward her. So close… even after months, it was becoming like those few romantic sessions all over again. Except there were no characters, no practice. This was Winter Schnee and Ruby Rose.

"Do you still…" But as soon as the words began to form, she held a hand up, shaking her head. "Nah, forget it, I'm being dumb."

"I still miss more than just our sessions," Winter told her firmly, offering it when Ruby hadn't finished her question. "I miss YOU, all of you."

Ruby found no more words to say. Usually a chatterbox who let her mouth run, and she was completely speechless. All she could do was keep their close proximity, feel her cheeks beginning to heat up once more as Winter stared back at her. She always managed to make her blush… and this was no exception. After a brief check to make sure no one was around, she found her eyes wandering elsewhere. To Winter's eyes, her lips…

"Kiss me."

"Are you sure?" she breathed gently, allowing her index finger to brush down along Ruby's arm. "Someone might see. Or do you want them to see?" Quirking her lips, she whispered as she drifted closer, "Not that I would fault you if that was secretly what you wanted."

"I-I want…" She wanted everything to go the way it was meant to go when she first confessed her feelings for Winter. She wanted for them to be more, so much more. "I want you… I want to feel how you feel about me. Even after this long. I-if you still do."

At the more insistent wording, the lessening of ambiguity, Winter's eyes began to shimmer. Her throat tightened, and she leaned in yet closer. With only another second of hesitation, her lips took the younger woman's, hungrily and with great relish.

And she poured every last ounce of desire into her mouth as she kissed her back, as her hand slid up to rest upon her neck. For the first time, one of their kisses wasn't merely full of confidence, sensuality, desire. This time, there was so much affection - on a level closer to Penny's, though different in its own right. Open and earnest.

In the same way, Ruby felt her eyes closing in bliss. Her hand crept up and into Winter's hair, bringing her in closer. Her other hand was holding her glass as best she could, but even that was a struggle. In the movement and effort Winter displayed when she opened her lips slightly further, when she eased her tongue forward to brush against her own, she could feel it. This kiss was so completely different to what she had felt from her before, yet entirely familiar. Winter Schnee loved her, and she could tell from that single, honest kiss between them. And already she could feel tears welling up in her eyes all over again.

Though Winter continued to pour more and more of her affection into the contact, eventually it grew to be too powerful. She had to break away to whisper, "I thought I lost you forever!" before she threw her arms around Ruby, pushing her face into her neck and trembling all over as she tried not to break down entirely.

Although hesitant at first, Ruby eventually found the strength to hug right back, pulling her in tightly as she grasped the cardigan she was wearing. Everything was back, her scent, her touch; her. And she wouldn't have it any other way. What a fool she was to let it all go, to let such a thing slip away because of a pathetic argume-

"Guys, we're starting to open the presents!"

Yang happened to call as she stood by the conservatory door. Why did that have to happen now?! Thankfully, there was no awkwardness about the embrace; it simply looked like what Yang had intended for them, for Winter to have helped Ruby with her sadness. And that brought a smile to her face. "Awww, come on you nerds, get in here!"

Pulling back with a sniffle, she was sure not to do what she would have done - kiss Ruby again - and instead turned immediately to call, "Coming!" When addressing Ruby again, she whispered, "Are you going to be alright? I mean, I think I can dry it up, but we can linger a moment if you need to."

Moving the hand from the back of her head to her shoulder instead, she nodded. She desperately wanted to do the same, quickly lunge forward and kiss Winter. But that would have to wait until another time. "Y-yeah, we'd better. Yang's been worried about me."

"Yeah, she said. Your sister really cares for you; I'm glad you're so close." Biting her lip as she stroked Ruby's arm, down out of sight due to the bench, she whispered, "Maybe… she can be one of the first ones we tell, when we're ready. She and Weiss. I think they're the ones who might feel the most strange about us being anything other than sisters-in-law."

"Yeah… Yeah that's true. It would be a good idea." But it seemed at first, Ruby hadn't quite realised what that implied. Until she started to really think about it. And her eyes widened once she began to think on it more and more, before finally gasping, "You… want that with me? Like, to be completely out in the open? Really?"

"Possibly," she answered with a shy smile as she finally began to stand up, pulling Ruby to her feet alongside. "Depending on other factors. Mainly, you and Penny; if we did that, she would be part of a polyamorous relationship, even if she has no feelings for me. I don't want to put her in that position if she's not comfortable with it. And then we'll have to decide how we feel about each of the other people in our lives knowing about it in turn."

"Yeah, of course. If we don't handle this right, people would accuse me of being a cheater. And I don't want that – she doesn’t deserve to have people thinking that, either. Don't worry, I'll be talking to her about it soon."

Winter nodded, then couldn’t help grinning down at the little puppy. Now all hers – or at least, more hers than she had been expecting. "I can’t wait."

#Lady Stardust #rwby fanfiction #ruby x winter #rwbyremnants #INCEST TW #(even tho it's not really)

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florrickandassociates · 7 years ago

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TGF Thoughts: 2x04-- Day 429 (1)

If TGF can do two episodes in one, I can do two recaps for one episode. This recap covers Liz’s part of the ep.

The episode begins on a promising note, informing the audience that there will be two chapters: Liz’s Case and Lucca’s Case. One second in, and it’s already apparent that this episode will be (a) innovative and (b) focused on Liz and Lucca.

I have a feeling I’ve heard the Kings talk before (like, season 5/season 6) about wanting to do an episode like this. Does anyone else recall this? At any rate, I’m glad the writers have TGF to experiment a little more with structure. And I think this particular structure works better on Fight (an ensemble show) than it would have on Wife (a show with one lead).

After we’re informed we’re going to be watching “Liz’s Case” first, we see a sheet of paper with ABC written on it. Jay is running active shooter training with some of the members of the firm, including all of the name partners, Lucca, and Maia (who doesn’t get a seat at the table). This is both timely and a good way of furthering the KILL ALL LAWYERS fears without hitting you over the head with it. (This episode, in general, is light on the KILL ALL LAWYERS stuff, as well as on Trump commentary. There’s just enough to remind the viewer that it’s still weighing on everyone, especially Diane.) A delivery man barges in, making a loud noise and spooking everyone. Yep: they’re definitely still on edge. (A little goes a long way: these are the kind of details I love.)

Also, I appreciate that Jay is running the training. Last week I was impressed/surprised he knew how to deal with the ricin scare, and now I’m assuming that office safety is part of his job (or something he’s volunteer to help with).

Marissa walks in and whispers something to Lucca; we don’t hear what it is.

Someone asks a question over the phone. It’s Liz, but it’s impossible to tell since the connection is terrible. This is relatable. I don’t even want to know how much time I’ve lost at work waiting for clients to figure out how to improve their phone connections.

Liz’s connection is terrible because she’s in the car. And why is she in the car? Because she’s taking her son (!!!) to a doctor’s appointment. I’m so glad the writers didn’t forget about Liz’s son. There aren’t enough parents in The Good Verse.

Liz drops her son off at school, where she learns that his favorite teacher has been fired. They let him go in the middle of the year? Sorry. Not the point.

Liz jumps into action as she heads into work, getting on the phone with the principal and explaining that this teacher was one of the few who was able to get through to her son. Liz walks past Lucca and we see a brief snippet of what’s going on with Lucca before going back to Liz. (Can’t remember if it was at this point or slightly later I realized we were going to get info on what was happening with Lucca, but whenever I had that realization I had to pause the TV because I was so excited about the idea. One could say I liked this episode.)

Liz points out to the (white) principal that the fired teacher was one of few people of color at the school. “Our push for diversity is renowned,” responds the principal. Hm.

Speaking of diversity, before I forget to mention it, after last week I was worried about TGF centering itself on its white leads and becoming too enamored with Marissa. This episode focuses on Liz and Lucca, and while this focus is a little overdue, it does make me hopeful that TGF understands that its black characters are also leads, and that an episode can focus on two black women. That’s especially important for the show to do after it pretty much traded Barbara for Liz.

(I’m still so conflicted on the lack of Barbara. On the one hand, the writers seem to have a great grasp on Liz and they did not understand how to write Barbara at all. But I don’t like calling it a good move to get rid of Barbara, because if they’d just written her character well and given her consistent development, if her fourth episode also showed her POV (ok, fine, her fourth episode was actually the most Barbara-centric one but it wasn’t like this) and expanded what we knew about her life, then maybe I wouldn’t be writing something right now about how the writers had to write her out. I’m a broken record about this, I know, but it doesn’t seem fair to praise the writing for Liz when I know the only reason we have Liz is because the writers failed Barbara/Erica.)

“Yes, I’ve heard about your push quite a bit at the school assemblies,” Liz tells the principal (like she already thought the school wasn’t doing enough…). She also says she thinks they’ll be in touch, since at this point she knows she’s going to try to help the teacher keep his job.

Lucca asks Jay to help her with something; he agrees. As she walks off, Liz approaches him. Now that Jay’s helping Lucca, he doesn’t have time to help Liz, so Marissa jumps in. Liz is reluctant but she goes along with it.

In an informal meeting of the name partners in Diane’s office, Adrian explains that they’ve had lots of cancellations for their party. “The lawyer killings. Our chemical scare,” Diane understands. (Um, why would these people have RSVP’d yes in the first place? The party wasn’t thought up before the chemical scare. It’s what Adrian talks to Diane about at the end of Day 422.)

“I say ‘fuck it,’” Diane responds. “You’ve been saying that a lot lately,” Liz comments. Indeed she has. “Making up for lost time,” Diane winks at the camera. She doesn’t, but, like, come on. This line is extremely meta.

Diane then swivels in her chair and stares Liz down. It’s kind of comical-- not because it’s silly, but because Diane really doesn’t give a fuck and she doesn’t care who knows it.

Adrian picks up on the tension and asks Diane what’s going on after Liz exits. Diane laughs and answers a call on her laptop instead of responding.

It’s Kurt! He’s away on a trial somewhere, sitting in a hotel room. To be completely honest with you, I didn’t remember where Diane and Kurt’s relationship stood. I assumed from the fact that Diane was alone and microdosing they were separated. I also believed this was a pretty safe guess based on the seven years of Alicia/Peter relationship limbo we had to endure in TGW. These writers have never met a separation they didn’t want to prolong until the absolute last minute possible.

And indeed, even though Diane and Kurt were on good terms in 1x10, they’re still “giving it time.” Then the connection breaks up (‘cause miscommunication and technology being unreliable are THEMES this week) and Kurt thinks Diane said the separation is over. Diane closes the laptop instead of attempting to call back. I dunno, I feel like if I was in the middle of a convo like that I’d call back on a cell phone, send a text, something…?

Now the teacher is in Liz’s office and she’s offering to represent him in arbitration. “You are the only teacher to break through Malcolm’s shell,” she explains. She continues by saying that she’s always advised to put him in private school, “but if everybody abandons the public school system, it’ll implode.” Yes, thank you, Liz! (Also, I see why you didn’t get along with Alicia. I’m sure Alicia would also say she supports public schools but, um, she wouldn’t send her own children there unless she absolutely had to. And Liz would find that hypocritical.)

Liz then calls in Maia. That’s right. Maia is working! THANK GOODNESS. Maia has almost nothing to do this ep, and the little that she has to do is work. Yay!!!

Malcolm’s public school is a charter school, which is… not exactly what springs to mind when I think of ��believing in the public school system.” I was a bit surprised the writers didn’t delve into this, especially since other than a few mentions about the threat of unionization, it doesn’t really matter that it’s a charter. And charter schools are their own can of worms.

Elsbeth barges in (HELLO!!!) and only Maia recognizes her. She’s in the wrong place-- she’s looking for Lucca-- so she compliments Liz’s jacket and leaves.

Marissa goes to the school and pretends to be the mother of a second grader. She rambles a bit too much about her TOTALLY REAL husband, but it works. Marissa makes a vaguely racist comment to try to get a teacher to make an explicitly racist comment. She doesn’t get that, but she does get an explanation for why Mr. Coulson (Malcolm’s fave teacher) was let go: he’s gay.

Arbitration begins, and Nancy Crozier is representing the school. Seems she’s on the PTA. So… she has a kid?! I guess that doesn’t surprise me, but now I’m curious about the personal lives of all the recurring characters.

When it comes out that the principal had fired a teacher from her previous school (a Catholic school) because he was gay, we immediately get a reaction shot where Maia’s visible. It’s not Sad Puppy Owen from 4x09, but it’s just a little thing that clues us in to how Maia’s feeling.

The school used an algorithm to decide which teachers to fire so there would be no bias. Maia jumps in with the counterargument before I can scream it at my screen: “All algorithms are pointless unless they are based on good data.” Absolutely. An algorithm is not inherently objective.

I know I am now nitpicking stock footage (would you expect anything else from me?) but in this stock footage of Chicago it is Christmastime (see the red and green lights on the buildings) but in the show it is March.

Also, not at all the point, but one of the buildings in the stock footage now has a huge TRUMP sign on it so I am going to headcanon that Diane (and the others) have to walk past it every day, multiple times, ‘cause I think that’s fitting.

Now we’re at the poorly-attended RBL office party. There’s a lot of champagne and very few people. There are 18 non-RBL people there; Colin Morello makes 19.

I still don’t get why Colin has to be a series regular, but I do like that the writers are making full use of the fact that he and Liz used to be coworkers. They chat about work for a few seconds until Colin sees Lucca through the glass walls (so! helpful!) with a man. He instantly gets jealous.

Guests 20 and 21 arrive. They’re the algorithm boys from last season. One of them hates a lot of things, including swearing. And, apparently, elevators. What he does like, though, is Marissa. Adrian refers to Marissa by name and as an investigator, which I’m sure would make Marissa happy if she knew about the interaction.

Diane and Liz chat at the bar. Liz asks for advice on dealing with Nancy Crozier, but Diane sees right through it: “This is a thing you do, isn’t it? You ask for advice in order to ingratiate yourself.” Probably true.

“You know, your ‘fuck it’ mode is starting to feel more like ‘fuck you’ mode,” Liz responds. What powers of observation you have, Liz! It’s almost like Diane walked into your office last week, said “fuck you” and left! Oh, wait…

(Also, Liz is wrong. It was Liz’s response to Diane’s ‘fuck it’ mode that made Diane angry enough to say ‘fuck you.” What’s Liz’s endgame?)

“Just appreciating your style,” Diane responds. “I’m just doing my job,” Liz says. Uh-huh. It’s her job to drink with Diane, pretend to ask for advice (ooh, it is a pattern), and then report back to Adrian? “And using what I confide in you to undercut me?” Diane counters. Liz sighs. “Look, I thought Adrian already knew you were thinking of leaving. That’s all,” she explains. Um. Does that track? I thought Liz approached Adrian about bringing on a new partner and told him about Diane, but she could be telling the truth. I am going through Day 415 to see exactly what Liz said, and omg, now I have to watch the Rindell nonsense again and it’s just highlighting how great Day 429 is. The All Access player really needs a 10 second skip feature.

Ok, Liz DOES tell Adrian “She never said anything to you?” so it’s possible that she was trying to be proactive about a situation, not trying to undercut Diane. The whole thing where she suggested Diane take time off and then told Adrian that Diane requested that time… not sure how to spin that one. But best case scenario here is that Liz is just blunt and didn’t mean anything against Diane. A girl can dream, right?

Diane says “it’s more fun to go at each other” in response to Liz, and nope, NOPE. 100% disagree. It is far more fun to watch them be friends. This plot is not fun and I spend every second it’s on screen trying to figure out a way to interpret seemingly malicious actions as benevolent. So… yeah. Sorry, Diane. It’s more fun for you to be friends. And you seem like you could use a friend right now. (Did Diane lose all her friends?)

Diane does offer Liz advice on dealing with Nancy: “She plays at being the nice girl while being tough. She’s good. But her rhythm is thrown off by objections.” The first part, definitely (I’m shocked that still works for her). The second part, is that a thing we’ve seen before?

Elsbeth arrives at the party and Diane’s excited to see her. Who wouldn’t be excited to see Elsbeth? Elsbeth is the best.

Elsbeth doesn’t seem to understand why the offices don’t have furniture (answer: they do; it’s been put in storage for the party). But she doesn’t spend too long wondering, because Diane asks her to sit down and compliments her dress. That’s right: Diane compliments Elsbeth’s wardrobe.

“Ooh! What do you think they’re talking about?” Elsbeth remarks when she sees Lucca spit out her drink. And then things get meta.

“It’s weird,” Elsbeth says. “We’re just the background characters to their story.”

“And they’re just the background characters to our story,” Diane points out.

“And we’re all just background characters to his story,” Elsbeth says, speaking of the bartender. “He could be the hero, and we could be the villains of the story.”

“Or we’re the heroes, and he’s the villain,” Diane spins. “That’s what keeps us humble. Not knowing,” Elsbeth says. “Or paranoid,” Diane counters.

I love this exchange. Is it incredibly on the nose? Is it an all caps Thesis Statement for the episode? Is it one of the least subtle things I’ve ever seen? Is it as obvious about the point it’s making as I am being right now, saying the same thing four times? Hell yes, it is. Is it still great? Yep.

The show is poking fun at itself, Elsbeth is exactly the kind of character that would start talking like this, and I totally believe that Diane would be game for this kind of conversation given her state of mind. It fits to have Diane thinking about these things-- even if only while making small talk with Elsbeth-- when she’s already questioning so much.

(I also like how every time Elsbeth suggests something that would have negative implications for Diane’s view of herself-- that she’s a background character, that she’s a villain-- Diane recenters the narrative. I am not sure that Diane’s doing it on purpose, but, uh, she is used to seeing herself as the hero.) (I don’t mean that as a negative thing! Just an observation!)

Diane turns the conversation even darker, because Elsbeth is a surprisingly good confidant: “You know, last week, I was walking down the street, and there was this homeless man digging for bottles in the trash and yelling at the top of his voice about the president and the country and how we’re all going insane. And I realized: that’s what my inner monologue sounds like. And that when I decided. I’ve got to change.” “To what?” “To someone who’s not going crazy.”

Well. There’s a lot going on there. As seems to be the theme for Diane this season, she’s feeling what everyone else is, but taking it one step farther.

Elsbeth doesn’t know how to react, so she compliments Diane. Then she compliments Diane’s necklace, and Diane gives it to her, along with her belt.. I… don’t know that I like this. It’s cute, but it seems so off-kilter it also worries me.

“I never thought you liked me, Diane,” Elsbeth says. “Hey, you know what? That’s my fault,” Diane admits. That’s sweet!

I don’t know what to make of this scene as a whole. Part of me thinks it’s a nice little Diane/Elsbeth moment where Diane’s No Fucks Given policy allows her to connect with a peer. A bigger part is worried that this scene might look like a warning sign (for what, I don’t know) once we get a little farther into the season.

I don’t get why this Colin/Lucca scene is here, in Liz’s story, right after a scene Liz also isn’t in. I understand that we have to see it before we know what’s going on for the story to work, but something (in editing, writing, or directing) could’ve been done here so this didn’t stand out. Also, Lucca invited Colin to the party, knowing she was pregnant and he was the father, but she has no plans of telling him he’s the father? Alrighty then.

And now for a third Liz-free scene in Liz’s section of the show (this one is, at least, related to her case). Marissa and Maia head down to the 22nd, where everyone’s talking and dancing and there’s music blasting. It is a much more exciting scene than the 23rd. But Marissa and Maia don’t join the party: instead, they discuss algorithms.

Nancy, who has now practiced law in Chicago for 8 full years, literally says “I’m just a small-town girl from Michigan.” I’m going to take that as a shout-out to the fans.

Liz’s son is throwing a ball against the wall, repeatedly, and driving Lucca crazy. She tells him it’s annoying. And because Lucca as a Parent is a THEME, we get to see Lucca interacting with a child (and, of course, Lucca’s reactions to her interactions with a child).

“And would you consider state-mandated testing to be a subjective data point?” the mediator asks. I don’t know if I would call it subjective but I would call it a terrible metric! (But I’m ahead of the episode. The minute I heard state-mandated testing I was ready to rant about testing practices and the costs of teaching to a test. I’m a little shocked that Liz didn’t go there immediately.)

Lucca dared Malcolm to make something out of paperclips, and now he’s totally caught up in crafting a paperclip zombie. Awww. My favorite detail about this scene is that Liz picks up a paperclip to help her son with his project, even as she’s still thinking about her case.

Liz realizes something: Malcolm’s score on the state-mandated test went down when he had a better teacher. He got a 92 last year, and a 73 this year. I assume those are percentages, not percentiles? I don’t recall much about these exams, but aren’t these sorts of things usually scored by percentile and not accuracy? Oh, my God, why do I care?

Tbh, this is just making me really grateful for my own education. I didn’t get a single letter grade or percentage based grade until I was 10 or 11 (maybe on a math test before that?), and grades didn’t “count” until 6th grade. We also weren’t ever assigned homework until 3rd grade. I have some complaints about my (private) elementary school, but I think that system worked well. We could learn without the fear of failing an exam. And while I’m sure I would’ve done just fine if I’d had grades when I was a kid (I love structure and I always have), I bet it really helped the kids who don’t test well.

What I’m saying is, and I’m probably preaching to the choir, teaching to a test, particularly a state-mandated standardized test that will determine staffing and funding, is a terrible idea. It doesn’t help the kids learn, it requires teachers to spend time on lessons that may not be as beneficial to their students in the long-run as something that builds critical thinking skills, and it encourages teachers to lie and cheat to keep their jobs.

Liz, Marissa, and Maia get to work going through the exams from the last few years. Maia spots the eraser marks. Of course there are eraser marks.

I wonder how many of the characters on this show (and on TGW) went to public school. My guess is that the list is pretty short.

The cheating teacher denies that she cheated. She claims the students just realized their mistake at the last minute. All of them. Repeatedly. It’s ridiculous, and Maia’s pretty persuasive. (Yay, Maia!) They still need to find proof, but it’s obvious they’re on the right track.

Kurt is in Diane’s office with some roses. Marissa texts Diane “Where r u? Kurt’s here!!” AGAIN WITH THE “WHERE R U”! Marissa would not write like that on an iPhone!!

Marissa asks Kurt, the ballistics expert, if he knows any eraser forensic experts. Not a dumb question, because such people exist! Even if Liz/Maia/Marissa end up with the wrong expert witness initially (they grab Lucca’s witness instead), eraser forensic experts exist!

I don’t understand Maia’s wardrobe. I cannot find the words to describe her style.

When it becomes clear beyond a doubt that the tests were tampered with, all Nancy wants to know is if she can see her daughter’s test.

Liz tells Mr. Coulson the good news, but… it’s too late. He’s accepted a position at a private school that will pay more. “I still believe in public schools,” he says as he leaves. Ah, a TGW (TGF) victory.

As Liz contemplates her next move, she sees Malcolm and Lucca sharing a sweet moment. Aww.

#The Good Fight #YOU CAN TELL I LIKE AN EP WHEN MY RECAP OF THE LESS INTERESTING HALF OF IT #IS ALREADY LONGER THAN MY ENTIRE RECAP OF LAST WEEK'S EP #TGF Thoughts

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no6secretsanta · 7 years ago

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@tea-for-you HERE YOU ARE!

Took me long enough, sorry for the delay, this fic ran away from me.

Have an examination of Nezumi’s singing– plus bonus sleepy time convos. I hope it’s to your liking!

-@secretagentfan

Nezumi was dozing on the floor. Shion wasn’t a stranger to this particular occurrence, but he was however, extremely annoyed with it.

Sharing warmth in the bed wasn’t a flimsy excuse to be closer– it was a need for when Nezumi’s pathetic heater froze through and the ratty sheets they shared weren’t cutting it. Their blanket, riddled with holes and stray threads that tangled in Shion’s toes, was barely functional. Nezumi however, was consistently warm, and the nights were only getting colder.

Shion looked at the sheet pile the boy had commandeered and bit back the urge to be irritated by the lack of his cranky heater.

“Shion…?”

He jumped, gaze flicking to the black tangle among the twist of sheets. Nezumi shifted, sitting up, unfocused grey eyes settling vacantly on Shion’s left foot hanging off the bed.

Shion smiled slightly despite his own irritation. It was rare to get a glimpse of Nezumi like this. His body was relaxed for once, and the floor had left a slight imprint on his cheek where his hair seemed to stick.

Cute. He was cute.

Shion had the sudden selfish impulse to not reply to his question so he could preserve the moment, hold onto the way Nezumi was right now, without all his guards and anger and rage. But then he wouldn’t be Nezumi.

“What?”

For a moment Nezumi looked confused, as if he wasn’t entirely sure what he had to say either. He exhaled, and Shion knew he was really tired. Nezumi rarely sighed, and when he did, he would get this look in his eyes like he was punishing himself for the natural reaction. Instead of this, however, Nezumi’s eyes slipped shut and he shifted so his ear rested against the hard floor again. He spoke softly, calmly.

“Have you ever fallen asleep outside, Shion?”

Outside? Shion tried to remember. Before they’d moved to Lost Town he’d often spend late nights outside collecting samples off of various plants for his projects. However, he’d always returned home. The idea of sleeping outside seemed pointless to him when there was a warm bed waiting for him inside his house. And besides…the city’d never allow it.

Nezumi’s eyes returned to his face, expectant.

“No, I don’t think I have. No. 6 had a number of curfews in place and I couldn’–"

"Please tell me you’re not about to say ‘couldn’t’”

Shion sighed, correcting himself, annoyed that even a half-asleep Nezumi was criticizing his language.

“Not couldn’t then. I suppose I could but I didn’t. But only because I wasn’t allowed to go outside after dark”

“You did it again.”

Dammit.

“What did I do?”

“You’re so quick to make others responsible for your actions. 'You weren’t allowed to’, 'you couldn’t’ it’s pathetic. You always can. Don’t claim you can’t do something just because people will judge you if you do.”

Shion’s eyes narrowed.

“That’s not fair. Social constructs are necessary to communicate effectively to others. Otherwise–"

Nezumi practically sang, "We brutally murder our own citizens because those in power fail to communicate with others. Maybe we even have innocent citizens arrested just for witnessing our villainous actions– oh wait that’s already happened, excuse me–”

“You know that’s not what I meant!”

“Fair enough.” Nezumi’s voice dropped, low and serious, “Now, answer me this, Princeling. What were you doing before?”

A weight settled in Shion’s stomach. “What?”

“Were you utilizing social constructs to effectively communicate? Or were you hiding behind them to avoid facing your own guilt?”

Nezumi’s relaxed smile had faded, replaced with a hard line. Gone was the sleepy boy Shion noticed earlier; Nezumi was awake now.

Shion found himself without rebuttal. He was about to place the blame on the city rather than acknowledge the fact he hadn’t thought much about curfew. Obeying was natural. While Shion had often felt a sense of vague unease toward the city—curfew was never something that concerned him. It was just another part of life. But did that make Shion guilty?

Normally, while harsh, Nezumi’s criticisms were informative. Shion was honored by them. Under Nezumi’s guidance he learned so much more than he had in the city. But times like this…Where Nezumi would attack, teach, and blame unprovoked: under his gaze Shion felt pathetic, insignificant. Weak. He sucked in a breath.

“Do you even want to know why I couldn’t go outside? Or do you just enjoy correcting me as I attempt to supply a suitable answer to your question?”

Nezumi hadn’t moved, hair pooled around his face, he smiled innocently up at Shion.

“I really don’t care about the why, I can guess that shit for myself. That’s why I asked you in the form of a simple 'yes’ or 'no’ question. You on the other hand seemed determined to complicate matters.”

Shion fell back to the bed with a soft thump. If Nezumi was going to be like that he’d just have to enjoy the floor tonight. And be without conversation.

“Hey, Shion.”

No response, Nezumi clicked his tongue.

“Are you ignoring me? How childish.”

“Shion.”

The boy in question curled up tighter, staring at the wall. He tried to ignore the way his name sounded on Nezumi’s lips. He was freezing, but he’d be damned if he was going to ask Nezumi for the sheets. Or for his warmth. He heard Nezumi shift.

“Are you cold?”

“No.”

“Shion…”

He felt the mattress shift with the weight of his friend and an entirely unwelcome hand on his back. Skilled fingers played with the edge of his flimsy cotton shirt.

“Shion, look at me.”

He ignored him, the clicking began again, then stopped. The fingers vanished from his shirt and Shion had to shut his eyes to avoid grabbing them and putting them back to their previous position. It was quiet now.

“I—“

Nezumi’s voice caught. He felt the mattress shift again, Nezumi adjusting, and heard a forced swallow behind him. He was struggling.

“Shion.”

Shion held still. Nezumi tried again.

“Just now. I upset you. Actually upset you.”

There was a stain on the wall Shion pretended to be fascinated by. Another pause. Another swallow. Nezumi shifted again and continued.

“I went too far.”

Shion turned, understood, and forgave. He sat up, elbowed Nezumi lightly before bending over and tossing the blanket and sheets over both of them. Nezumi elbowed him back under the blanket and Shion smiled.

“S’fucking cold. What time is it?”

“Why did you ask me if I’ve slept outside?”

Nezumi turned, made a face like he barely remembered asking the question, and leaned against the wall. Shion joined him.

“I had a dream. It was supposed to lead into that.”

Shion sat up again, Nezumi grumbled at the shift of the blanket. “Just now? You couldn’t have been on the floor for more than five minutes. How did you fall asleep that quickly?”

“I’ve been working hard.” Nezumi hissed, just this side of defensive. “Keeping your big head out of trouble is hell on my sleeping schedule. Case and point—this talking thing when we’re supposed to be sleeping.”

“You started the conversation.”

“I can end it too, you know,” Nezumi grumbled, flopping over and rather pointedly resting his head on Shion’s pillow.

“Did you sleep outside in your dream?” Shion asked, amiably taking Nezumi’s pillow and pulling their blanket as tight as he could around himself before Nezumi could steal it too.

“Sort of. It was closer to a memory. Or something.”

“That’s not very clear.”

“Well dreams never are,” Nezumi mumbled, tugging the blanket, but Shion held strong, and pretended not to notice when Nezumi’s back pressed against his chest in retaliation. It was cold. That was all.

“What was the memory? Or something?” Shion teased, and for a moment he thought Nezumi didn’t hear him. He opened his mouth to ask again when Nezumi answered.

“When one of Inukashi’s stupid mutts died.”

They’re not stupid, Shion wanted to say, but the tone of Nezumi’s voice made him stop. “Do you remember which—“

“—No. It wasn’t specific.”

Shion frowned. “That’s strange.”

Nezumi adjusted again, rubbed his face. Shion had the sudden uncontrollable impulse to hold him, but tamped it out. It wasn’t the time.

“It gets stranger.” Nezumi’s voice was barely a murmur. “I think I was the stupid mutt, and I was hurt, but I was also there as a human, and I sang for myself.”

“That’s a strange thing to dream about.”

“I know,” Nezumi turned, facing Shion. He made a disgusted face. “Can you imagine?”

His breath puffed against Shion’s face, but Shion didn’t mind.

“Did you die from your wounds?”

“What?”

“In your dream,” Shion clarified. “You said you were hurt, and if you were singing for yourself, I’m assuming you must have been badly injured.”

Nezumi seemed to think for a moment, before nodding. “Yeah. Probably.”

“Then it’s lucky human-you was there to send dog-you off peacefully.”

“Do you hear yourself, Shion?”

Shion laughed a little, curling closer, and then it was Nezumi’s turn to turn away and pretend not to notice. Shion was nodding off when Nezumi spoke up, voice quiet and laced with something Shion couldn’t quite discern. Regret?

“It wasn’t peaceful.”

Shion opened his eyes. “What wasn’t?”

“Dying. I sang the usual songs but I didn’t feel anything but how cold I was.”

“That was probably because you were actually still sleeping on the floor.”

Nezumi’s exhale was a louder release than Shion expected, something resembling a laugh but a little more…surprised?

“Right you are, Shion,” he replied.

“What’s it like to sing a…what did you call it?”

“A dirge. Typically sung at funerals. Hardly counts when you’re singing for animals but there you have it.”

“I think it counts.”

“Well, his Royal Highness’s seal of approval and a lot of Inukashi’s silver coins are all that I need. I’ll keep doing it.”

Shion didn’t reply, hoping his silence would work better than any attempt to verbalize his usual outright disagreement toward Nezumi for charging Inukashi for his services.

“Everything costs, Shion.”

“I know. It doesn’t make it right.”

Nezumi didn’t reply. Shion found himself pulling away, even though he lost some precious blanket in the process. After a moment, Nezumi spoke up.

“The songs I sing aren’t typical dirges. They’re just songs I barely remember learning about life: living, breathing, ’everything’s fine’ kind of songs. They’re meant to placate and calm without any sort of effort on the part of the listener.”

“Inukashi said no matter what, the dogs you sing for start to relax.”

“It’s a relaxing thought, ‘everything’s fine’. Frees you of any sort of culpability. I don’t mind offering it to dogs, but, as you know, when you offer that sort of thing to people…”

“You sing for people at the theatre too though.”

Nezumi scowled. “I get paid for that.”

“You make their days easier, Nezumi.”

“Don’t glamorize it. I force them to ignore what’s wrong around them. I get paid. That’s what matters. The songs don’t.”

Shion frowned, sat up. The air was cold, but Nezumi had to hear this properly. The way he was talking now, his songs were no different than the city, which Shion knew couldn’t be right. “What if I pay you right now, then?”

“What.” Nezumi sat up. “What the hell are you on about now, Shion?”

“What if I pay for you to sing to me right now? Three silver coins, right? If you’re just doing this for money you can give me a song right now, just because I asked.”

Shion’s sock had just barely connected with the floor, ready to grab his savings, when Nezumi’s hand gripped his arm.

“Three silver coins is too expensive, Shion.”

Shion frowned, challenging. “But Nezumi, I really want to hear you sing, and if you’re just singing for money then why does it even matter? The songs don’t, like you just said.”

Nezumi froze, grip loosening on Shion’s arm. He exhaled, and Shion felt momentarily bad for pushing him when he saw that punished look appear on his face—but Nezumi looked up and met Shion’s eyes, confident and graceful even in error.

“You’re impossible, and you win, fine. The songs I sing mean something. I just don’t know what and I don’t know why they do. Get back here, it’s cold.”

Shion grinned, victorious, and a little relieved. He lay back down, and Nezumi pulled the blanket around them again, mumbling an assortment of Shion-related complaints.

“You don’t know why they mean something?” Shion asked, quietly shifting closer. Nezumi didn’t answer, but he didn’t move away either. Shion pressed on:

“Where did you learn to sing, Nezumi?”

“Haven’t we pushed each other enough for one night, Shion?”

Nezumi pulled away, facing Shion, and for once his face clearly displayed everything he was feeling. He looked exhausted, and Shion abruptly felt guilt fill his body.

“Sorry,” Shion replied, genuinely repentant. Nezumi shook his head and shut his eyes. Shion followed suit before he realized:

“I’ve kept you awake too, haven’t I? You’ve wanted to be asleep this whole time.”

“Shion, do me an enormous favor,” Nezumi began dryly, eyes still shut. His hand abruptly covered Shion’s face, and felt up his head blindly, finally finding a home in Shion’s hair. Shion made a quiet distressed noise in reply.

“Turn this off,” Nezumi ordered, patting his head and moving his hand to loosely wrap around Shion’s shoulders. “And go to sleep.”

And while Shion wasn’t entirely ready to stop thinking as Nezumi advised, when he felt Nezumi press his head into his shoulder—for warmth of course—Shion allowed his brain some rest.

#no. 6 #no6 #no.6 #nezumi #shion #nezushi #secretagentfan #tea for you #tea-for-you #submission

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btswaifeu · 7 years ago

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with my life | o5

Bodyguard! AU

pairing: reader x OT7 (with a little jimin solo)

it’s a choice between life and death, you? or the boys?

Previous | Next

“Before you go, i actually have a little surprise for you y/n. I originally wanted to just pass it but seeing how good you’re performing, i’m excited to task you this.”

You absolutely hated following someone else's instruction and being this vulnerable, but because the lives of the boys are at stake, you could only grit your teeth and follow that insane dude behind the monitor.

Jungkook was about to ask what, when the ceiling dropped a few metal pieces of what resembled like a gun to you.

“y/n, two minutes, pick up the parts, assemble them and shoot the timer before it ends. Or i’ll shoot him.”

You whisked around and see taehyung with a red dot on his forehead. That was a shot to kill, and you knew he wasn’t fuckin’ around. You hurried the remaining two to help you pick up the parts and place it in front of you as you have already started. A minute have passed but you couldn’t continue because there was a screw missing. Jimin, jungkook and hoseok were frantically searching the last small screw while you were busy staring at taehyung.

You sprung up all of a sudden and ran towards taehyung’s jacket pocket. The boys turned around to look at you immediately as they saw movement to taehyung. While patting around taehyung’s jacket, he can’t help but be distracted at the fact that your hands were on his chest. He knew this wasn’t the best time to be feeling this way but he took hold of your hands.

As he held your hands, your eyes trailed unto your own hands (instead of his eyes but that was because you were desperately looking for the screw to screw both your minds back and the gun) that he lifted and immediately bolt back to the half assembled gun. You broke your watch to get the screw out and continued assembling the rest of the gun in 30 seconds.

Whipping around to the target, you shot the timer that showed 5 seconds and told the boys to pull him towards you in case that bastard cheats again. Pissed was an understatement when you found out that freak didn’t throw you the full set of the guns which caused panic in your system. You were literally on the verge of going crazy when you found out the screw was missing. Upon reaching you, taehyung heaved a sigh of relief while hugging you tightly.

Taehyung was actually scared shitless when you told him not to move because there’s laser pointing to his head. He was slightly shaking when you and the boys were running around trying to find the parts to assemble the gun, he tried staying still and calm because he didn’t want to make the wrong move. But as you rushed over to his side all of a sudden and make physical contact with him, he can’t help but feel your warmth from you and calmed a little, knowing that you were trying to keep him alive. He was also touched by the fact everyone was going crazy trying to get him alive and away from that laser.

Things calmed a bit but got tensed again as the announcement came back.

“Damn you’re smart, but let’s see how smart you can go haha, go to the door on your left, it’s unlocked the moment you shot the target.”

Appearing in a room that looks like what you assumed to be a simulation room, you got worried as you were bad at games. You knew you had to play it somehow because there were five chairs lined in front of the screen with weapons attached to the side of the seats. Everyone hesitantly sat down and waited.

After what seems like 5 minutes, the next set of instructions came which startled all of you, since you guys were resting (somewhat).

“You guys probably know by now on what the next activity is..so i won’t explain much further. There’s no three lives in reality, so you only have one chance. Everytime you get injured in the game, you get injured in real time too, so be careful~”

The first stage of the game was fairly easy, which you and the boys manage to kill the opposing team and escape to the next round. There were a total of 5 rounds, each with a different level of difficulty, and it was making you anxious as you were bad at video games. On the brighter side, you didn’t have to worry about taehyung and jungkook since they were always playing them back in the dorms.

Everyone was on their third round when hoseok, jimin and you slipped off the cliff, sending you three down to first base. The moment your character made contact with the ground, the bat that was attached to the chair started swinging at you multiple times to your ribs and legs. Same goes to jimin and hoseok, the three of you groaned while trying to fight off the opposing team all over again. Luckily, the three of you manage to scrape to the next round.

Everyone was lucky enough to pass the fourth round sustaining a hell lot of injuries as that round was darn difficult, even jungkook and taehyung slipped. The thing is, that game had a similar vibe to overwatch, and the guns were no exception. Every time either one of you got shot in the game, the knife from the seat will cut your arm, talk about hardcore man…

Entering the fifth round, you, jimin and hoseok were on the verge of dying as your characters health bar was rapidly decreasing. You felt really useless because you couldn't help them. The game was in a different setting for everyone and it can’t be synced together, so even if you could, you weren’t able to help them. Halfway through the game taehyung got shot and the knife sliced his right arm making him scream in pain. Jimin got so worried, he took off his VR glasses and glanced to taehyung, only causing him to get shot too, and a slice to his arm as well.

You angrily told him to put on the damn glasses and focus on the game first instead of risking his life. You knew you sounded mean but it couldn’t be helped as him removing the glasses, would only risk his own life.

15 minutes and a few beatings after, you heard a last scream from taehyung and jungkook. Jimin, hoseok and you kept asking what happened but there were no replies. Little did you know, all of you were talking to air.

This activity held a chance to escape, and since both jungkook and taehyung passed the round first, their console, including the chair, was pulled out altogether.

They were enroute to safety.

Of course, you only got to know about this after you, jimin and hoseok passed the round barely alive. Jimin took off his VR glasses and started panicking, whereas you had a hunch about them passing the stage and getting out of this hell hole. And because of that, you and jimin got into an argument while hoseok sits there awkwardly.

“You’re overreacting honestly, didn’t he say if we passed the activity some of you will get to escape? I know you’re worried but you’ve got to trust your little brothers that they’ll do well.”

At this, jimin went berserk.

“Do well? I only kept my mouth shut because you were doing most of the stuff just now. What the fuck do you know about how i feel and if i’m overreacting or not?!”

“What?” you scoffed at his tone.

“Jimin ah, let it go.” hoseok tried to ease the situation.

Usually, you wouldn’t give a shit on how he speaks to you, but you had enough of being pushed around by him.

“y/n, do you know how fucking clueless you are? Do you even know the feeling of losing someone so dear to you? You obviously don’t because you talk as if everyone in the fucking world don’t matter to you! I bet you don’t even know how painful it felt whenever one of the hyungs go missing or when jungkook and taehyung suddenly disappeared, because no one ever loved you.”

You stiffened.

“Are you done?”

“What?” jimin scoffed while hoseok pulled him and covered his mouth.

All of a sudden the lights went out and you immediately grabbed unto hoseok and jimin despite arguing with him earlier on. But you failed to keep them by your side when you felt hands prying all three of you apart and tying a blindfold to your eyes.

You were dragged for quite sometime, and while you were making your way to the next venue, you kept your left hand on the wall, trying to trace your steps.

With a clink of a metal sound, you quickly took off your blindfold and scanned the surroundings, your heart rate quickened. Good news is, hoseok and jimin were in front of you, which meant that they were safe and within your constraints to protect them. But the bad news was, you were in a cage, and all you could see in front of you is a knife, a bucket, a tube and a funnel that is attached to a machine. You shivered as you had a feeling of what is going to happen.

“Wow jimin, impressive argument with y/n just now haha, what a sight to see.”

“Anywho, we’re already on our last round of adventure. And honestly i’m quite disappointed because i didn’t expect you guys to make it this far. I was anticipating death, haha.

This one’s easy though, it just needs a little sacrifice.”

All this time he was talking, you didn’t give a shit and instead turned around to whisper to hoseok on what you did earlier on. You told him, once he and jimin have the chance to get out, he should turn two lefts and 3 rights to get to the exit. You knew this because you were feeling around on the layout of the building when you were getting dragged, and you were actually accidentally brought to the exit, that’s why you reached later than the other two.

“Hey, listen when i’m talking, unless you want to die.” the speaker spoke again.

You pulled your hair pin from your hair and started twisting it on the lock.

“Wow y/n, seems like i don’t even need to tell you what to do huh? The setting is familiar isn’t it?”

“Are you not going to answer me?”

Confused, hoseok and jimin looked towards each other and stared at your back.

“Then i’m going to reveal who you are. I’m pretty sure the boys don’t know what’s your true colours, judging by how the convo ended just now…”

Your hands stopped picking on the lock for a moment, but when the speaker wasn’t continuing, you continued and managed to hear the click sound from the lock.

“Woa y/n, how did yo-” before hoseok could finish his sentence, you stood up and closed the gate of the cage, locking it again.

to be cont’d...

#bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts text scenarios #bts angst #bangtan scenarios #bts fanfic #kpop fanfic #bangtan angst #bangtan imagines #bangtan fanfic #kpop angst #kpop scenarios #bts #bangtan #bodyguard:au #with my life

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kitten1618x · 7 years ago

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GoT Afterthoughts 7x06 Beyond the Wall (Jonsa Edition) SPOILERS

Hello lovelies ... apologies for the delay! As most of you know, my Marine was home briefly. ❤️

We begin our episode with the war room map/table in Dragonstone and a fire crackling in the background -ominous foreshadowing? We then join Jon and the boys hiking through the winter wonderland. Tormund being Tormund pokes Gendry for some fun, before the talk with Jon takes a more serious turn. He asks about the Dragon Queen, and Jon tells him that she'll only help if he bends the knee. Tormund tells Jon he's spent too much time with the freefolk and now he doesn't like kneeling.

Now, what Tormund said next admittedly confused me (and I'm paraphrasing): "Mance was a great man, a proud man, but how many of his people died for his pride?" To my knowledge it was Mance himself who died because he refused to kneel -not the freefolk? Were Wildlings slaughtered off-screen unbeknownst to us? I'm not being facetious -if I'm wrong in my confusion, someone please correct me. Otherwise, what we have here is a plot hole -almost like Tormund giving Jon a reason to kneel, to not be like Mance and not put his family and people in peril over his pride. I'm not ready to bag on the writing just yet, but this is a blatant inconsistency -just sayin'....

But moving on ... Gendry airs his grievances with the brotherhood and the Hound tells him to suck it up buttercup and that's that for now. We are then brought to Jon and Jorah speaking not of Dany (which, ya know -would make sense since this whole "epic romance" plot and all) but instead, they are bonding over their fallen fathers.

Jon: “my father was the most honorable man I've ever met, he was good all the way through, and he died on the executioners block.” (We'll come back to this).

Honorable Ned's son, honorable Jon takes off Longclaw and offers it to Jorah. Jorah insists that Jon keep it, deeming himself unworthy.

Jorah: “It's yours. May it serve you well, and your children after you.”

Cue WINTERFELL music and a pensive looking Jon. Contemplating your future children, Jon? Imagining their red hair and curls? Tully and Stark looking? Okay, I'll stop now -but come on guys -what an Easter egg! And right from there we jump to Winterfell (SURPRISE) and Jon's future wife (and mother of his children).

Our lovely Stark sisters are in the traditional Stark spot upon the battlements. Arya tells a heartwarming tale of Ned catching her practicing archery and clapping when she finally hit the bullseye. It was sweet, and lovely, and everything I'd been praying for for weeks, but then the accusations fly and all is lost. Arya has the letter that Cersei made Sansa pen to Robb. Sansa is naturally upset about this and defends herself with the truth: they made her write it (even Robb knew that when he read it, geez Arya come on -It's not like you did/didn't do things, too!). Does everyone remember when she was Tywin's cupbearer? Because I do.

I don't blame either of my precious angels for what they did/didn't do to survive as scared, isolated and traumatized little girls -and dammit, they shouldn't either! But more on this later ....

Now, I don't like what they made Sansa say about Arya "should be on her knees thanking her" -it's not that she isn't right about the part she played in re-taking Winterfell, but THAT was definitely some shitty writing.

We flash back to our boys, and Tormund is attempting to bond with the Hound. Aside from being some of the best comic relief this show has delivered in a long time, I'm becoming sweet on Tormund x Brienne. Stop me! I love Brienne x Jamie too much! I'm trash! Someone just wheel me out to the alley and light my ass on fire!

We got a nice little callback to Ygritte and naturally Sansa too -because "Gingers are beautiful, they're kissed by fire". More on this later, too .....

We switch over to Beric and Jon first discussing how much Jon apparently doesn't resemble Ned (sure Jan) and then the creepy religion (again, burning children is bad, guys -I'm with Varys on this religion). Jon doesn't serve the Lord of Light, he serves ONLY the North. They do seem to agree on one thing: they are protectors, and Jon recites some of his Nights Watch vows: "I am the shield that guards the realms of men." More on this later .... (Are you guys picking up a theme here yet? Let's see if you figure it out before I get to the end of this post). 😉

After the Hound points them towards the mountain he saw in his vision, we go to Dragonstone where Dany decides to compliment Tyrion by insulting him? lol What she likes about him is that he's not a hero -heroes are stupid with their constant pissing contests (she's not wrong) -except I'm not sure I'd consider Daario or Drogo heroes? Tyrion points out that all these brave men have fallen for her -including Jon Snow, because apparently unbeknownst to US the actual viewers, he's been oogling her ....?? Daenerys denies it, but you can tell by her body language that this pleases her. But -"he's too little for her" ???? What does that even mean?

Honestly, I can't figure out my Little Lion this season and it's kind of pissing me off. Is he cracked out on Dragon love too? Or is he being clever and playing the game? Varys did say he needed to find a way to make her listen. Does Tyrion think Jon can influence her? And where the hell is Varys, by the way?

Dany brings up the upcoming meeting and her impulsive temper comes up -and the Tarlys (expect them to come up again in the near future too, guys). Tyrion warns her about ruling with fear and then the convo shifts to the subject of Dany's mortality and her line of succession. Dany jumps into serious angry paranoia mode (Targ trait) and flings accusations of Tyrion's loyalty at him again. Look -I fully understand that this is a touchy (and rightly so) subject for Dany, but I don't think he's in the wrong here -the line of succession is important to any monarch, and especially one that intends to ride into battle. But ...not today Tyrion, not today.

We jump back over the wall, and now the boys are traipsing through blizzard-like conditions. Is it still the same day? Has night fallen, or is it just dark due to the snow storm? Ugh, this episode is leaving me with more questions than answers! They spot, and are spotted by an undead bear, and a few redshirt Wildlings are taken out. Thoros and Beric light the sonofabitch on fire, Tormund whacks it with his battle axe -I mean, this damn thing takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin', and ends up with Thoros in its mouth, before Jorah takes it out with a dagger (assuming it was dragon glass?). A chug of alcohol and a cauterizing of the wound, and he's miraculously up on his feet and ready to continue.

On a side note: poor precious hound and his fire PTSD. 😔 Cant wait for Clegane bowl -hope it ends with fire and Sandor conquering his fear while exacting his revenge.

And now we're back in Winterfell, and a distressed Sansa is confiding in Little Finger. If ya'll didn't pick up that she was sniffing him out, then I just can't help you. Sansa doesn't trust him. I strongly suspect she knows that letter turned up because of him. I'm 99% confident she was jugging him for info ....

Sansa is nervous about the letter, though -rightly so, because if the lords see it, they may withdraw their support -BUT she isn't worried for herself, she's worried for Jon and keeping his army (amassed to 20k now -when did that happen? Go Sansa!) -so wake up and suck a fat one, Sansa haters! Don't you guys get it yet?!?! Sansa is loyal to Jon -shit, even Little Finger gets it. Why do you think he's so bent on sewing discourse between the sisters, now? Because all his attempts to drive a wedge between Jon and Sansa have failed!

We return to the winter wonderland, and now it's Jorah/Thoros bonding time. I'm sorry that I don't care enough to repeat their exchange -it wasn't exactly riveting, and I pretty much knew that it was his "death knell". Anyone else getting whiplash from all this back and forth?

Upon their climb, they hear the clinking of an undead scouting party. Interesting .... they send scouting parties ahead? The NK and his Generals are pretty smart. Which caused something to pop into my head: are Gilly's brothers the NK's Generals? But back to the action ... they start a fire to lure them in and ambush them. Jon kills the General and all but one of the wights fall. Aside from the convenience of all but the one they need falling, this is also interesting. If they take out the generals who raised them, the wights will automatically fall -so if the NK is taken out, then his entire army would perish! Hmmm ...

So, my dudes tackle Bones and he lets out an ear piercing screech, which apparently alerts the others (hmmm -they communicate, too?). With an avalanche of the undead rolling down upon them at high speeds, they collectively shit their pants while hogtying Bones, and Jon orders Gendry to run for Eastwatch and get a Raven to Dany, declaring that he's "the fastest". Well, this is all well and good, but please explain to me just exactly HOW Jon knows this? Because I didn't know Gendry was fast ...did you? And not only do they send this poor kid who's never even seen snow before, off into the arctic wilds by his lonesome, entrusting his supposed internal GPS (I guess???), but they take his freaking weapon so he has no means to defend himself, to boot!

And off he goes, while Jon and the crew race for shelter and find themselves standing over the weak ice of a frozen pond/lake. With no other place to go but forward, they take their chances and make for the rock in the middle, as the dead close in on them and after grabbing a few more redshirt Wildlings, the wights break the weakened ice and begin falling into icy water, creating a barrier and a trap for our boys. Winded, but alive, they freeze their tushes off, as night falls and an exhausted Gendry collapses before the gate of Eastwatch. Daddy Davos comes to cradle on of his fostered sons as Gendry breathlessly pleas to send a Raven.

It's morning on the rock, and our dudes have snuggled to keep warm overnight. The Hound rouses from his comfy Jon Snow pillow to kick the grumbling Bones, who's probably just salty that he didn't get invited to the slumber party. Sandor gives him a good morning kick in the ribs, and when Bones squeals in displeasure, so do some of the wights surrounding them. Another clue of their links?

Unfortunately, Thoros hasn't made it through the night. They burn his body and Beric says the creepy Lord of Light's prayer. I hope someone had the good sense to take his flaming sword first, but I doubt it, because while I love my boys -they aren't exactly clever ...they did go on a wight hunt, after all. 🙄

Jorah and Jon discuss the connection and Jorah suggests trying to take out the WW's as their best chance of survival. Jon says no, they need to take that thing (Bones) back with them and a Raven is on its way to Dany -she's their only chance. I suppose she has the same magic GPS as Gendry. 😳 Beric joins them and counters that argument with just taking out the NK -he turned them all after all ...kill him and they all fall.

Now, Jon puzzles me here. His reply to Beric's suggestion is: "You don't understand."

What Jon? What don't we understand, baby?? Tell us!!!! Is Jon suddenly afraid of his own mortality? I don't think so, but then -what don't we understand??????

*screaming internally*

Beric counters with how the lord brought them both back and maybe this is why. I'm not sure what Jon's thinking while his chest heaves and he eye fucks the NK -but .... perhaps he really is afraid? Maybe of failing and being forced to rise and fight on the NK's side? Suggestions are welcome here .... really.

We jump back to Winterfell and Sansa has received an invite to KL. So, who sent this invite? Sansa refuses to go -and is certainly justified considering .... She intends to send Brienne in her stead, but Brienne is uncomfortable leaving Sansa unprotected because of Little Finger. She requests to at least leave Podrick behind, but Sansa denies her request, and after trying several times to politely put her off, she finally rudely dismisses her. Now, I have no doubt that Sansa is truly frightened to go to KL because of Cersei, but I also think that she specifically chose Brienne to represent her -not only because she trusts her to represent her interests, but also because of what Little Finger implied earlier -about Brienne intervening with Arya if necessary. I'd like to think that Sansa is not only protecting her little sister, but also Brienne's honor of having to side with one of the sisters should things get ugly. (They won't, trust me).

We flip over to Dragonstone and Tyrion tries to convince Dany not to run off to the rescue, but (thankfully), she doesn't listen. She mounts Drogon and off to the rescue her and her lizard babies go!

We're back at the boulder now, and an apparently bored Sandor is throwing rocks at the "cunt" wights. Not that I blame him, but we all knew where this was going, right? The ice has re-frozen and slowly, the dead advance on them again. This shit was really unbelievable, tbh. With the sheer amount of wights surrounding them, they should have been swarmed, but somehow manage to keep most of them at bay. Jon yells "fall back" (to where????) as Tormund gets grabbed and, oh my heart!!!! I swear I had a mini stroke! But thankfully, Sandor grabs him just in time (he knows he fucking LOVES fire kissed Gingers, okay?)!

And just when it seems that all is lost, Dany and lizard puppies arrive to fuck shit up!! Okay, despite their destruction to actual human life a few weeks ago -this was beautiful and visually very satisfying! This is what the dragons are for! They take out a good chunk of the NK's army -which is WHY I assume he targets the dragon still flying overhead and raining down hellfire on his army, rather than Drogon who was chilling while they all saddled up. I mean, it's just a guess, but it's truly the ONLY logical explanation I could come up with. 😐

Dany reaches immediately for Jon, but a wight charges, and Jon turns to dispatch it, as well as a few of its comrades while the others climb atop Drogon. You know, Jon being the hero he was accused of earlier in the episode? The NK marches forward and takes aim at Viserion -who is still fucking up his army (as I mentioned above, and why I think he may have targeted him), as Jon continues to blindly fight the wights instead of climbing his dumbass on the fucking dragon! Why? So it can be HIS fault for what happens next, of course!

I legit cried when Viserion died. I'm a grown-ass woman, and I don't give a shit! It was heartbreaking, to watch him plummet from the sky and crash into the lake, his eye drifting closed as he slipped below the ice ... and personally, I think Dany's facial expression nailed it: gut wrenching shock. As a mother, my heart broke for her, even though I know that the dragons future demise is necessary.

An angry Jon charges right towards the NK for a standoff, as if he took Beric's words to heart and was prepared to sacrifice himself right then and there to kill the NK and save the whole damn world! But the NK doesn't want to scrap -instead, he reaches for another ice spear, and Jon seeing that he intends to take out another dragon, screams for them to go.

He turns to sprint for Drogon (I guess? Because Drogon had already begun to take off?) but he's tackled by wights and dragged into the icy water. The group hauls ass into the air as an ice spear whizzes towards them, but Drogon avoids it and almost sends Jorah to an early grave. Dany glances back for any sight of Jon as Drogon flies them to safety.

After the dragons fly off, the NK and his army nonchalantly shuffle on as if nothing happened. We get a shot of Longclaw by the ice hole and suddenly Jon lunges out of the water and uses its hilt to drag himself out of the icy lake. Soaked and frozen and probably figuring this is the end, he raises his sword to go out fighting and uncle Benjen drops in to save the day! He hauls a popsicle Jon onto his undead? horse and tells him to ride for the pass, declining Jon's offer to come with him and telling him "there's no time". Now -I've seen this part criticized, and I get it, I do -except what is Benjen supposed to do? He can't pass the wall -he's dead too. Guess he figured it best to go out fighting then endless undead loneliness. Maybe he figured he had no more dumbass nephews to save from beyond the wall anymore? Whatever the case, it was sad to see yet another Stark perish -even if he was technically already dead.

We're back at Eastwatch now, and the Hound is dumping Bones in a dingy, as Beric says farewell and they'll meet again. The Hound says he fucking hopes not, but I don't think he means it. 😉 Atop the wall, Dany gazes forlornly at the landscape below, as Jorah tells her it's time to go (and calls her "Your Grace", and not Khaleesi? Since when?). As she turns to leave, the horn blows and Benjen's horse comes into view (and where have I seen this scene before?) only this time, WITH a rider. Hey -how the fuck did he get his horse back, anyway?

The Targ ship unfurls its sails, and we're in Jon's cabin as Davos literally peels the frozen furs from his trembling body, and sweet mary mother of God, Kit's abs! 😍 As Jon freezes to death, I'm just praying that Davos continues with his disrobing of Jon (and the camera follows), but nope ... 😔 Dany watches from the doorway with a mixture of worry, awe and since she's only human, probably lust (I feel you girl, I really do). On a serious note: she's privy to all those horrid scars that were never stitched and are still literal almost gaping gashes in his chest -and one directly over his heart. I bet Davos' words are ringing in her ears again.

After that gratuitous abs scene, we head back to Winterfell, where Sansa is snooping through Arya's room -probably looking for the letter. Instead, she stumbles onto Arya's face collection. WTF! Naturally, Arya catches her snooping, and begins to terrify Sansa, and myself collectively, with some creepy dialogue that rings as an ominous threat -except, well ... let's break this down a bit. She is sharing some of her past. She wants to play the Game of Faces, but Sansa is not having any of this shit.

I'm pretty sure that Arya drops a MAJOR foreshadowing bomb here: "We both wanted to be other people when we were younger. You wanted to be a queen, sitting next to a handsome king on the iron throne and I wanted to be a knight riding off to battle."

Okay, back to the terrifying conversation... Arya: "With the faces, I can become someone else, live in their skin, speak in their voice. I can even become you ..."

*she picks up the catspaw dagger and steps closer to Sansa*

(With the dagger in her hand): "I wonder what it would feel like, wearing those pretty dresses, to be the Lady of Winterfell. All I'd need to find out is your face."

*she flips the dagger and hands it to Sansa HILT first*

When Sansa takes the dagger, Arya casually turns and leaves the room.

ARYA WAS PLAYING THE GAME OF FACES. Yes, it's shitty, and she gave her sister a mini stroke, but here's the thing: I believe they are BOTH playing Little Finger separately -to protect one another AND Jon, they just don't realize that the other is doing it yet. I'm fully confident that either Bran is going to sit our Starklings down, or they're going to figure it out on their own. And speaking of Bran, where the hell is he? Is he off with Varys? WTH?!

Okay, and we're finally at the scene that y'all were dreading .... Jon's eyes drift open to a teary-eyed Dany who's relieved to see him wake. Immediately, he apologizes for her loss. She shakes her head and lowers it to hide her tears (probably trying not to make him feel worse), and Jon reaches for her hand. He tells her he wishes he could take it back and that they'd never gone. Dany shakes her head again and disengages her hand. She disagrees -she needed to see to understand.

She tells him that the dragons are her children -the only children she'll ever have, and asks him if he understands what she's trying to convey. Jon shakes his head yes, as Dany vehemently professes her support in helping Jon defeat the NK.

Now, I received an ask earlier last week when this episode leaked, about whether I thought Dany was doing this only for vengeance -and certainly, that does factor into her decision, I'm sure. And I don't fault her one fucking bit, tbh. I'm a mother -if you hurt my kids, I'm coming straight for you -why do you think the term "mama grizzly" was coined? But, on the other hand -she's now seen this horrific undead army, and what they are capable of. As someone who freed slaves, it only makes sense that she'd want to help make sure that humanity is not enslaved by the NK and the dead. This is WHY Dany is here, you guys. Not to be queen. Not to be Jon's wife. But to help save humanity with her fire-made flesh dragons, and die in a very messianic way -as such has been the arc they built her character upon.

Jon immediately thanks her, and calls her Dany. She's taken aback -and explains that no one has called her that in a very long time. She brings up Viserys and in a roundabout way, says he was a dick, as to which Jon replies: "alright, not Dany. How about my queen? I'd bend the knee, but ..." he nods his head towards his injured state, as Dany asks about the people who've sworn allegiance to him (because she suddenly cares about that now?) and Jon says (and like I TOLD YOU ALL LAST WEEK when I watched this leaked scene, how very important and almost foreboding his words are): "They'll come to see you for what you are."

WHAT YOU ARE. Not who you are. Not how caring you are. Not anything other than ambiguously WEIRD: what you are!!!

Dany is still touched by this seemingly heartfelt declaration, and with more tears welling in her eyes, grasps his hand and proclaims that she hopes she deserves it, and Jon reassures her that she does. After some silent eye contact, she pulls her hand free from his grasp and tells him to get some rest.

He obliges and closes his eyes, and then when she leaves the room, his eyes reopen and he looks -guilty? As he releases what sounds like an exasperated sigh.

And finally, we end the night with the dead dragging Viserion from the icy depths with some heavy duty chains, and the NK reanimates him. Okay, I just have to say how fucking stupid that is. Where did these massive chains come from? Why didn't he just raise his arms and raise Viserion like he did the Wildlings at Hardhome? It would have been a lot cooler if he came lunging out of the water all blue eyed, rather than be dragged up with chains. Ugh whatever!

Okay, so for a penultimate episode, I'm not majorly impressed, but I didn't hate it.

So, some things we need to go back and touch on (as noted throughout). Have you all figured out where I was going with it? Yes? No?

Okay - SO MANY CALLBACKS TO THE NIGHTS WATCH HERE, GUYS!

We got Ygritte callbacks with "Gingers are kissed by fire". We got the Jon/Beric convo which was kind of reminiscent of Half Hand/Jon's convo when they were with the Wildling's as prisoners, and Jon even recited a piece of his Nights Watch vows! We've got Tormund bringing up Mance, and his refusal to kneel AND we've got an almost replicated scene (horn blowing and all) of Uncle Benjen's horse riding for the gate of the wall, only this time, WITH a rider!

What does that remind me of? Well, a previously duplicitous undercover Jon infiltrating the Wildlings -using them to achieve his goal of getting back to Castle Black alive, to warn the Watch of the impending attack and to do his duty -hold the Wall against the Wildlings. How did he do that? By deceiving Ygritte -despite his feelings.

Now, I'm not saying I'm right, and it's just a theory -but I truly do believe that Jon is playing Dany. BUT, I also truly believe that he does like her, and that he does really believe she has a good heart. She did just lose one of her children to save him and the crew ... Jon's odd and ambiguous words: "They'll see you for what you are" is for our benefit -a clue to know where the story is headed. However, I do think that the fact that he actually admires and cares for her (cares, NOT loves) is making him feel pretty shitty for what he is/has to do, on top of the guilt he feels for being at fault for Viserion's death.

It's no coincidence that he couldn't look in her eyes when he offered to bend the knee. It's also very telling that he did so when no one was around to hear/witness this. While Dany has been wearing her obvious heart eyes on her sleeve for a few episodes now, Jon has been pretty guarded, he hasn't shared ANYTHING personal, his expressions have been odd -and blank, mostly (as in this scene, as well) ... this developing "romance" has felt "off". With Dany's attraction being so blatant, I think that Jon easily picked up on her feelings for him, and he's using that -playing on those feelings, to secure an alliance.

So why is this necessary if Dany already agreed to help him? Truth be told, I feel like Jon just doesn't fully trust her. Good heart or not, she is a stranger, he's seen her temper and how quickly she turned on Tyrion that day -this is Jon being smarter than Father (also brought up several times in the episode -as well as his honor) and Robb -who ironically was also brought up in this episode by way of Sansa's letter!

Addressing the weirdness of Jon calling Dany, "Dany"? I believe this was to assert a familial tie -in the same episode where her brother was brought up, and ironically, the dragon that died, was named for. They are reminding us they're actually FAMILY (incase we forgot) because of what's going next episode, y'all. They want us to be kind of squicked out when it happens.

All the mentions of Dany's inability to conceive? Well, for two reasons, really- to hit us (and Jon) over the head with the fact that Dany can't get pregnant, so boatbang can happen, basically -and Mr. "doesn't want to sire a bastard", feels confident to hang up his vow of celibacy if there's no shot of getting Dany pregnant. And also, for all of our tongues to be wagging about "oh no, could their be a magic Targ baby"? like many have been. A red herring for the red herring, anyone? A baby requires a time jump -a time jump cannot happen -the dead are literally KNOCKING on the Wall. If you've got a logical explanation for me -let's have it. And yes, I've heard the shadow baby theory, and while I think it's uber cool, I'm not really onboard with it -who would it kill, as that is their purpose?

Also -the NK and his Generals are impervious to fire -unlike the wights. But -will dragon glass and Valaryian steel kill the NK? I'm starting to doubt that ...

And before I sign off on this, I wanted to address one more thing (that I specifically looked for in my re-watch) -the mention I saw floating around here, of the Wolf eyes on Longclaws hilt opening as Jon emerged from the frozen lake -it did look like that, but it was just a shadow-a trick of the light, if you go back and watch it. 😉

Thanks for tuning in again. See you next week for my final recap of the season. And FYI: my kiddos start school the next day, so I can't stay up til 2 am recapping -my recap will be posted on Monday, instead. ✌🏻

#got afterthoughts #got recap #jonsa edition #jonsa #jon x sansa #got season 7 spoilers #SPOILERS

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