#also who freaking knows what Benji’s sexuality is he’s all over the place

[smilesrobotlover]

This ship template but for Zelda ocs 🤯

[corgidreamsworld]

Love, Victor Season 2 *spoilers*

Love, Victor came out on Friday with 10 episodes of pure growth and development. Something we have all been hoping for. Season one was an excellent start to a story that everyone craved more for and made you think. Now that the show is no longer under the watchful eye of Disney, it really shines and makes you want more and yell at the very end.

This season we see character growth and in-depth conversations that the first season was lacking. Victor is finishing up the summer after being coming out to his parents, who decided to separate. This is quite a lot going on in his life that we see him struggle with throughout the season. But the good news is that Benji is his boyfriend, and their first summer as a couple is fantastic. Seeing Victor and Benji being happy is something that everyone can sign to heaven about. Personally, I like Benji. However, I feel that his character is not indeed developed until this season. In addition, Victor's Mom, Isabel, is not as accepting as his father Armando of his sexuality which builds up throughout the season and causes conflict in almost every episode.

Now just looking at Victor and Benji's after the summer on cloud 9, you can slowly see the issues build up until they boil over. In every episode, we see the couple struggle with Isabel not accepting Benji and barely acknowledging that Victor is gay. This is a weight that the couple tries to pick up; however it becomes too heavy towards the end. In the beginning, Benji was accepting and understanding. Still, then as time goes by, you can see him grow more frustrated and lose his sparkle around Victor. Even though the couple has excellent profound, vulnerable moments through the season, they really lack communication skills to work through their problems. They are 16-year-olds, so that makes sense, but it is frustrating to watch them talk back and forth without expressing how they feel genuinely. This is mainly on Benji's side because he says he understands when he feels terrible that his boyfriend's Mom doesn't acknowledge him. Then on his birthday, which everyone in their lifetime is gonna have a shit birthday and Benji's day was that day, secrets begin to come out.

Benji is a whole alcoholic, apparently. Did not see that coming at all. I was very caught off guard when this came out and was like, wow, why didn't he ever say anything. I think this is the downfall of the writers, not because they make Benji an alcoholic but because his character is underdeveloped. We really don't actually know Benji. We know bits and pieces but not his story. When his Mom, who tries her best, you can tell, spills his secret at dinner in front of Victor, we see the shame overcome Benji, and he does not handle it well. Victor doesn't understand why he didn't tell him, and Benji somewhat lets him know how he feels, and Victor feels some type of way. And this is when shit hits the fan. They have an argument, and you can see that all the build-up from the issues with Victor's mother comes has impacted Benji, and he is over it! Now on some levels, you can see where he is coming from. However, Benji never really expressed these things to Victor and was not transparent about how he was feeling. This is why Victor is hurt by what he said. They later make up, which is it really making up if you don't talk through the issues and just have makeup sex? I digress. His Mom walks in, and then once again, shit hits the fan, and Benji is pissed. He gets outed as an addict, and then his boyfriend and Mom just disregard him, and he just explodes.

In the next episode, neither of the two acknowledge that they were both somewhat wrong, and they do not speak for a good minute. Victor loses contact with Benji and begins to freak out. It seems to be from a genuine place of concern, but to Benji, it says, "my boyfriend is an addict, and he is gonna relapse." Victor also tells Rahim, a whole new character who is a delight on the screen, that Benji drinks, which is not the best move because this breaks trust in their relationship. Benji decides that they need a break, which hurts not only Victor's heart but ours.

I would like to note, personally, I think Benji has issues with admitting his actual faults. I think we have seen him be this guy be sweet and understanding. Now we see him in an unflattering light, which is refreshing because he is a human who has feelings, and he has been sweeping them under the rug. He's not perfect, and he actually is not that accepting as we, and he likes to think he is. When confronted that he should apologize because he is not perfect, he is like no way. Victor and Rahim point out that Benji is white and is privileged, which seems out of pocket, but it's valid because this is something I knew would happen when season one came out. They come from very different backgrounds. Their situations are vastly different, and Benji acts like Victor has more control without understanding where Victor or his family is coming from. Benji had a completely different experience of coming out. It was not tremendous nor perfect; his parents accepted him and are proud of his progress. Victor does not have that, and Benji knows this, but I guess he wants more from him at the same time. However, that being said, Benji is in his right to his feelings about the situation, and Victor should have been checking in on his partner's feelings to make sure that he was okay. When you are in a relationship, the feelings of both matter; both partners have to work to understand the other and support them. Both characters try, but they fall flat. It is easy to shit on Benji, and while he was not at his greatest towards the end, a lot of this was hard on him, and he was trying his best.

Victor stood up for himself this season and tried to make everyone happy however this is his first relationship. Then it was hard for him to be out at times. He truly cares about Benji, but he got lost in many things surrounding him, and he neglected his boyfriend at times. Or his feelings, if anything. He made excuses for his Mom without acknowledging that she was causing significant issues to his relationship and himself as her son. I hope that this season was a lesson learned and that he works harder to show up for Benji as a mutual partner.

Rahim is a new character, and when I say he is a breath of fresh air, he really is. He just brings a particular light to show, and I enjoyed it when he was on the screen. He and Victor have similar backgrounds, which brings them to a certain level of connection. They just seem to flow so well together, and I wasn't surprised that they felt connected. They go to Mia's dad's wedding together and dance and kiss. Now Victor has to pick between the two boys, and I do not know who he should choose. He loves Benji, but they would have to do a lot of work to heal the relationship. He and Rahim just have a spark together, but it's new, and he does not love Rahim. We see on TV that the first person a gay guy gets with is his first love, and they stay together for an unreasonable amount of time. They maybe get with one other person, but usually, they end up with their first love, which is not always realistic. Versus straight characters who go through love interests like they do underwear. It can be jarring to see a couple you are routing for end up breaking up, and then they date other people, but that's real life. That brings us to cliff hanger of the last episode, which was utter bullshit. Doing cliffhangers is dangerous nowadays because networks cancel show no matter how good they are. It is pretty risky and just frustrating for the fans.

After all of that, the season was terrific. It had a certain level of growth that was needed, and it really showed up. I only touched on Victor and Benji, but all the characters really grew, and their stories improved and make you pay attention to them as well. Was it perfect? No. Is it supposed to be? No. If you enjoyed the first season, you would enjoy the second season even more. You will want the intimacy the show carries with the characters and the conversations.

[sadbi-hours]

So I guess 9x07 of ahs decided to come after my deeply angsty ass tonight...and my god, did it do it beauitfully!

Oh, god, this episode bruh...where do I begin?!

Well let's start with Benji! Just when I thought I couldn't connect or feel anything new for Benjamin after the 100th episode than I already processed, welp I ended up being 100% completely wrong...so freaking wrong! I felt it all for this man tonight...I felt everything I could possibly feel for him!

I felt that bittersweet happiness that he emoted after he said his final goodbye to his brother...and he did what he believed was the right thing (spoiler and tw ahead) for the first time in his life...by ending it forever!

That fucking logic hurt me deeply in my soul! I understood it on a gut level. It resonated with me...because for--I am going to get personal, but heck it was a very personal episode tonight--someone who's tried to end their life before, I can empathize with his logic of believing the people you love are better off without the burden of you!

He's thinking of what he believes is best for his son, protecting him the only way he had left and knew how to...he took it as a fool proof plan to defeat RR and end the horrors he started in 1940s by being forced to kill his own mother...who only ever wanted the same before grief and rage twisted her soul and intentions!

I mean that's some deep shit! And Miss Lily Rabe just decided to came for our souls tonight, huh?! Lol! Because how could I condemn her for what she's done! She lost her son in the worst way possible...let it fill her with rightful hate and rage and a call for justice and she unleashed her pent-up emotions in a horrifying way--i am seeing a recurring theme for the ladies of 1984!

And I kind of like how it tied into the blood curse of Camp Redwood! I've been wanting to know more about the camp's logic for keeping everybody who has died stuck there...and we got it and why it may not have been as intricate as some of Ryan's plot twists, I believe it worked beautifully! Sometimes simple is better...and The White Lady's hatred for the camp counselors of any kind is what has keep them there...not a moral thing per say was fucking brillent on his part! Plus Hello our little Friday the 13th easter egg so to speak lol!

And I will just say too that the writing was really on point this episode...for me at least! Ryan wasn't relying solely on soundtrack to get his point across on what we should be feeling...he let the shows composers and Lily and John's amazing acting do it for us and I think that was a wonderful decision!

And speaking of amazing acting, Lily and John both slayed it this episode...I mean their scenes together are what sold me on Ryan's twist! They broke my heart in two...I mean when Benji was giving his speak to the ghosts of Redwood even they were lowkey crying for him, except Montana...she didn't even bother to hide how deeply what he said touched her...and I think that she can relate to him deeply when it comes to losing a sibling that was in some ways your entire reason for existing!

And while we didn't get too much of Benji and Bobby's relationship...I feel like Bobby was probably Benji's only friend...someone despite his jealousy of, understood and listened to him! I see the recurring themes you are sending out there, Ryan Murphy...and tonight, just know that you have my full support of it haha!

(Warning for those who are anti Montana, dark xavier, or xantana...this is their little section but I won't be sticking on them much because there wasn't much of them tonight...which I actually liked but anyways...)

And I guess Montana just runs the ghosts of Camp Redwood now...I mean in her words: Choice! I believe that 100%...and I don't need to explain why lol...but I also like that while they are scared of her and they should be...they also subtly in some ways look to her for or to know how to express compassion! I mean, I love my girl but she is Montana (who hasn't shown much of it besides those two times with brooke in ep 2 and again with xavier in ep 5) and while I know that all of Camp Redwood was crying at Benji's speech, they all tried to hide how much it affected them...all except Montana! She so to speak openly weep for him...and showed him that she understood and felt for him by once again offering up one of her homeboys off as tribute to take him to his mother...

And tbh, I don't know how I feel about that...It could just be Montana always trying to adapt to what people need and crave from others as a way to get what she wants...or she does it because deep down that's who she is: always giving up who she truly is to be what people need her to be!

Richard wanted a ruthless sex kitten...she gave that to him, but that was to get him to do what she wanted...but it still in a way makes my point lol...anynhow, Chet seems to be seeking something of a sister/mother type figure and she's given that to him, by looking out for him and keeping him in check...Xavier wants to have control over his situation, she gave him that (tho my xantana loving ass still thinks there is more to it than that but that's for another day)... Ray wants someone to take his moral conflicts out on, well she lets him bitch her out as he cleans up her kills... and everyone in Redwood wants to leave, she hatches a whole ass plan to maybe help release them from it...and Trevor wants what could have been, so well you know...and I ain't mad because we all know Montana lives for variety and no matter how much she loves someone, she'll never be 100% faithful in a sexual manner, so who knew I'd come to a day i'd be cool with that, but she has never lied about that part of her...and in some ways, she remains me a lot of Brian Kinney from Queer as Folk, who was very similar in that belief...and I swear it's so nice to see a woman in media allowed to be that sexually open and not condemned for it by the people around her who matter...

But we will see, Xavier has been known to be a jealous boy when it comes to Trevor...so who knows how that will turn out?!

And look I know I may be reaching, but that's what I've come away with for her this ep. and I'm just airing it out there haha!

And that leads me to Brooke and her whole debacle this episode:

Not only do Donna and Brooke need a freaking hug after this episode, but I truly thought I couldn't love Brooke more after last ep...and I was pleasantly wrong on both beliefs lol!

I loved her struggle to trust Donna and her motives for helping her...all understandable! Donna and the entire lot of those she's blindly trusted have fucked her over, but I love that here her trust wasn't misplaced. Donna only ever wanted to fix what she's caused...and she never wanted anything else from her. She gave back to Brooke what Brooke gave to her: trust and understanding.

I mean she was so in sync with what Brooke was trying to do with rushing her with the truck...not for a moment did Donna believe she was trying to kill her and I adore it! I seriously thought for a moment that Brooke was going to let her trauma and need for revenge allow her to become Montana 2.0 but she didn't! Brooke has completely stuck to what she believes is right these last two episodes and I 100% love her for it.

And I also liked that entire roller rink scene...and it's underling purpose! Donna let her experience some of what she missed in 80s while in prison...and thank you Ryan Murphy for having one character in 1984 actually in a way healthily air their traumas in a safe place...with a trustworthy (ish) person...and in return get almost a heathy response on how to cope with it!

I forever will give you kudos for that, but I also understand this is ahs and this is also a homage to 80s slashers and the main final character always returns to their greatest horror...and for Brooke that's Margaret and Camp Redwood, but my girl Donna decided to fuck it all and be a ride or die bff for a bitch...and I stan it so hard!

I love how we are getting ahs' verison of a positive female relationship...i'd never thought I'd see the day haha! Ryan just giving everyone something this season!

And Dylan's character, Bruce (?) is it bad I want to see more of him, even tho he's clearly psychotic and probably be looking to end Brooke's life after what she did...which I cheered her on the whole way as she did it...but yeah, please give me more of Dylan's insane character! Please and thank you...as if we didn't have enough chaos going on with only two episodes left, I also want Dylan's brand to be added to the mix haha!

And to Margaret, I still only have one thing to say...

I mean Lavinia said (@scienceandmischief for pointing it out her name to me! Thanks so much ❤) that Margret was already unhinged...Lily's character just nudged her in the direction she wanted to go...she still needs to pay for what she's done and hopefully my wifey Brooke will be the one coming to collect...but I am fascinated by a few things. Has Margaret's fanatic religious talk...been her deep down way of trying to atone for what TWL awoken in her and the things she's done?! I mean I don't know if it really matters at this point with her...but it still makes my brain wheels churn.

[the-woman-upstairs]

Yuletide Letter 2018

Dear Author,

Hello and thank you so much for giving me the gift of fic! Listed below are all the relevant details that should help you in your writing, but if you have any questions, feel free to send me an anonymous message.

Here are some of my general likes and dislikes that should give you some guidelines for writing.

General Likes: Fluff, sexual tension, romantic tension, mutual pining, friends turned lovers, family bonding, protective family/friends/significant others, fake dating, holding hands, zombie apocalypse au, cuddling, happy endings, emotional hurt/comfort, emotional support, snowed-in, public declarations of love, soulmate au, relaxing/adventuring together, rebuilding trust, kidfic, high school au, non-sexual romantic gestures

General DNWs: Rape/non-con, BDSM, gore, extreme violence, torture, unhappy endings, character deaths, watersports, emotional/mental/physical abuse (parental/domestic), humiliation, incest, pedophilia, slurs of any kind, somnophilia, A/B/O dynamics, scat, emetophilia, bloodplay, breathplay, hate crimes, misogyny, homophobia, racism, first person POV, Dom/sub, ageplay, underage, vote, food kink, mommy/daddy kink, character bashing

Here are all my fandoms including characters and a few prompts if you’d like to use them.

Mission Impossible (Movies)

Characters: Benji Dunn, Ilsa Faust, Ethan Hunt

I absolutely adore all three of these characters and believe they have the most interesting dynamics with each other, especially after Fallout. What I’m really interested in is some OT3 goodness; there is just so much polyamory potential between them with their personal shared history, relatable traumas, and relationship growth from Rogue Nation to Fallout.

Prompts:

- The three of them are stranded together during a mission and through their teamwork + stressful situation realize their feelings for each other

- One is injured and the other two fret over them. Can be during or after a mission

- Benji and Ilsa rescue Ethan together and while they both know they have feelings for him, realize they’re in love with each other too

- Figuring out how to live together and enjoying domesticity with each other

- Post Fallout vacation where they help each other to heal from Lane’s attacks and fall in love in the process

The Miseducation of Cameron Post

Characters: Cameron Post, Jane Fonda, Adam Red Eagle

What really struck me about this movie were the touching and realistic bonds of friendship between the three queer teens. Conversion therapy is horrendous, but the support and love they had for one another made me emotional (not enough films that focus on queer teens being friends with each other). I’m strictly looking for gen, not interested in any romance between the three of them, but if you want to introduce an OC love interest for one or each of them that’s totally fine.

Prompts:

- What happened now that they escaped God’s Promise? Where do they end up, how do they travel together, what places do they visit, who do they meet? (Please nothing from book canon as I haven’t read it yet)

- Zombie apocalypse au and would prefer it set during the canon era. Give me some 90s culture, queer teens, and a zombie filled road trip

- Time skip where it’s been about ten years and they’ve gone on to live separate lives but are brought back together and catch up/reminisce

- Three queer teens and a baby! Somehow in their travels they find a baby and despite the obvious hardships, work together to take care of them and give them better love and support than the three of them received

- Musician au where the three of them play completely different instruments and genres but manage to cobble together an awesome band as a means of openly queer artistic expression

Searching

Characters: David Kim, Margo Kim

The father-daughter relationship in this movie really tore me up in how raw and real it was and I just want to see more of it, either post-movie or in a kind of au

Prompts:

- These two would be interesting to see in a zombie apocalypse au. Surviving together, David doing anything to protect Margo while she proves skilled at surviving herself

- Father daughter road trip post-movie! What’s their destination? Any cool or weird sight-seeing? Would like to see them enjoying the time together but also openly grieving over Pam together about how she can’t be there with them

- David meeting someone new and the two of them dealing with him dating again and the possibility of another long term paternal presence in Margo’s life

- Father daughter detective agency. Can either be an au on its own or post-movie canon. Cases they take on, uncovering corruption, reuniting families, working together to help others like them

- Margo’s first year in college documented through her e-mail, Skype, texts, misc digital messaging with her father

Blockers

Characters: Angelica, Sam, Julie, Kayla

The emphasis on positive female friendships was such a wonderful part of this film and I really would like that to be the focus of any fic for this fandom. I included Angelica because I’d also be very interested in having Angelica/Sam be a background relationship with the focus being on the friendships or the central relationship that the other friends help/support Sam with.

Prompts:

- The girls helping get Sam and Angelica together, whether it’s through flirting tips or setting up dates or

- Sam (with Angelica) goes to pride for the first time and Julie and Kayla come to support (maybe they also explore their own queer identities? Feel free to experiment with that concept)

- Future fic where Sam and Angelica are getting married and the friends go through all the cliches (bachelorette party, family getting together, panic/stress in general) together while also reminiscing and strengthening their friendship

- Future fic where the three of them become moms and help each other deal with parenting

- Any exploration of their friendship before senior year. Include all the cliches you’d like: homecoming games, sports or academic competitions, bonding over love or hatred of school subjects, etc

Baby Driver

Characters: Darling/Monica, Debora

I adore the movie as is but I would also 100% love it more as a lesbian car chase/heist film.

Prompts:

- Events of the film but Deb is the driver and she falls in love with darling

- Post movie where darling survives and seeks out deb

- Deb takes that cross country drive with darling instead of baby

- Supernatural creature au darling as a vampire, deb as a werewolf

- Initially, darling just hooks up with deb (smut is highly appreciated) but then falls in love with her

The Nice Guys

Characters: Jackson Healy, Holland March, Holly March

This movie is already great but would have been improved by 100% if Holland and Jackson had kissed at the end. The co-parenting dynamic they adopted towards the end of the film was so sweet and I’m an absolute sucker for queer family dynamics. Add the time period to that and there’s loads of great fic possibilities.

Prompts:

- Holly accidentally calls Jackson “dad” and Holland freaks out like he does but realizes he wants Jackson around, in both a “dad to holly” way and “I’m in love with you” way

- Family road trip vacation with plenty of pining between Jackson and Holland, realization of feelings, and Holly setting her dads up

- Beach vacation where Holland and Jackson can appreciate each other’s dad bods in bathing suits

- Case fic where one of the guys ends up in danger or kidnapped and feelings are realized/revealed

- Holland gets a lot of attention from women AND men (oblivious to it naturally) and Jackson finds himself feeling jealous and Holly helps him woo her dad

Thank you so much for writing my Yuletide fic, I can’t wait to read it!

[teebooks]

1.) The Gumshoe, the Witch, and the Virtual Corpse

Title: The Gumshoe, the Witch and the Virtual Corpse Author: Keith Hartman Published: 1999

Read: 01/01/2017~01/07/2017 2017 Reading Challenge: “a book with pictures”

------------------------------------------------------------------------ This was the book to start my 2017, and I was pleasantly surprised to have found a hidden gem. I initially picked it up because it was filed under “urban fantasy” with “gay main characters.” I was expecting a Meh, since all the other gay urban fantasies I’ve read were...well, Meh. But hey, in addition to the book being actually good, what do you know; pictures! I wasn’t planning on using it for the reading challenge, but I guess I am!

First, it turns out that yes, a central character is gay, but there are several protagonists, as the book is written from POVs of a variety of characters.  I usually don’t like first person narratives, and especially ones where the narrators switch every chapter or so, because it tends to get a.) confusing, or b.) cheap because too much is explained. I also find it annoying when the style and language remains the same despite the switch in characters.

Fortunately, this book did not do any of them. I always knew who was talking, and each chapter kept the right amount of mystery left to keep me reading. The tempo the novel kept was upheld nicely by the shifting of narrators too. I especially enjoyed the final chapter before the epilogue, where the POV kept switching in short paces. It was like an adrenaline rush towards the climax, and you can almost visualize the tying together of the threads from the different narrators.

Gumshoe felt strange reading it because though it was published in 1999, it felt like a post-9/11 novel. Scenes where the Christians were freaking out over non-Christians, and accusing them of (misguided) Satanism and inflicting violence is relatable to Islamophobia. Also, the story takes place in the near future (2020′s or 30′s), but the depictions of future-tech was very believable. The people had “palm readers” that sounded like smartphones, and “notebooks” which were pretty much tablets. The society was not over-the-top high-tech, so it was like reading a story set present day. So kudos to that!

The novel, from what I remember, tackled themes such as oppression of individuality through  education systems, and possibly the media too (I think it mentioned how we pick and choose media that suits our beliefs, so people’s ideas aren’t challenged. I remember there was some media theory that argues the same thing, but nope, I can’t recall anything right now). Media seemed to take spotlight, as I also remember Summer pointing out objectification of women (and breasts). You go, girl. I think I missed a lot of things though.

My personal favorite moment was when Benji and Summer were talking about Melville. And they mentioned that he’s gay (though I prefer “not straight”). And that he probably had it on with Hawthorne (but maybe Whitman is more his type). That was beautiful. I also squealed when Drew (the main guy. the gay one) is in this dream-world-but-not-really in search of his powers-kinda, and he comes across this turtle (tortoise?), and it tries to give him this full on adventure. But Drew is not having it because he’s so done with everything, and then the turtle starts complaining that this is supposed to be the Hero’s Journey, citing Joseph Campbell’s A Hero with a Thousand Faces. I laughed so hard. Yes to everything.

Diversity; I guess?? Someone else on Goodreads commented on how sexuality seems very binary in the book, which I agree. I also can’t remember any homosexual women appearing. Maybe they did, but for unmemorable, very brief moments. Others have also commented on the bad editing, which, yes. Lots of grammatical and spelling errors that could’ve been easily avoided. Shame.

Overall: I enjoyed it a lot!  Would I want to reread it? Yes.

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Rating: 4.0/5/0