#also whenever i draw ortega he is never as hunky as i imagine him

[milkybishop]

i've had very little drive or ideas to draw the last months but the grip these two always have on me. i have such a clear image of being on elena's farm and dion having an en suite and like struggling soo much with being unable to just run away, and that people, especially ortega, have seen his markings.

and like, pre-reveal dion is cagey but he's definitely softer with ortega cause there was that barrier and almost dream-like curtain that dion could go 'i can have this much, cause anything real will never happen'. and then everything is too real. and dion is just trying to have a bath with his casts in plastic and he's trying not to be repulsed by his own body and the fact he can't just escape if he needs. and then ortega is barging in and kinda making a show of how not-bothered he is by dion's markings, which manages to annoy dion more.

i think dion is more..caustic(?) during this time. at first. because he kinda can't accept the reality that ortega is fine with it, and it's very self-sabotagey. that curtain is gone, and so, so is that softness. but of course ortega persists and starts getting to dion proper.

and there's another scene that in my head of like, when dion's starting to walk and jog again, and ortega is around alot for that. and then one day had to go off and he kinda rushes back to the farm and cannot find dion in the house and just like crumples on the porch. and he's just so sure he's gone. and then dion is coming up to the house, post-jog and seeing ortega and immediately realises what ortega thought, like the one time he feels like he could read his mind. and i just wrote down the sentences that were sticking in my head

"and you say "i'm still here". and it doesn't mean anything. you're not saying you won't run tomorrow. you're not saying you didn't think about it. you're not making a promise. but he breaks into a smile like you did."

i don't really have it in me to draw, and most of the time i lose the desire to write when i open the doc, but i love themmm, i love dionnnn