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#also what if the future wasnt the future but it was certainty.... what if you wanted permanence. what if you were not wrong to want it.
8cfc00 · 4 months
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who up having shrink/swell thoughts... its probably meant to be interpreted though the perspective of lack of certainty in mikey's life, the "you" ofc being edgar, esp with inclusion of the idea of peacefully growing old- "which of these forms/you'll know forever" that is present in well. so many other songs ("i get carried away by the thought of old age")...
the mentions of the physical/tangible/visible in "i shrink i swell" and "forms" further adds weight to the precarity of mikey's life... its not just the circumstances around him that are unstable, but his physical being, his form and body are threatened. which links to how he/his iterations were all dead for s10...
additionally. the fact that shrink and swell are both verbs. it adds a sense of movement, being in flux. its not just "i am small, then i am bigger" but theres a process, a flow (can be linked to the water motif) that has no indication of an end- which contrasts with the knowing "forever", and the continuity and constancy within that idea. the juxtaposition is almost paradoxical, yet it perfectly makes sense in the context of a time travel show where entire timelines are rewritten, especially after season 10 in which SO much was shaken up.
but ALSO. its placement RIGHT after a scene with MATT. a character who spends a lot of time being dead, and then not dead, then being dead again, with VERY little say in his "current" status- he is brought back by mike multiple times, and most of those times he doesn't remember ever being dead, the way that the older mikes talk about him and accidental consolidation... he shrinks and swells, he vacillates between being dead or alive, and who knows which version of matt mike will have to live with! and i think the lack of agency in this is somewhat present in "meaning is detached/it can roll right off your back" matt is rarely in the know- he can't see the cause and effect of his presence/absence. (which can be applied to mikey too) It really does tie into the tread of matt's box... [i can't really tell what exactly the "If i ever try to find you/I will rub my fingers raw ... what is it you were living for?" is referring to, but i just want to say. VERY mike's relationship to matt coded, oh my god, especially that desperation of the speaker in finding the subject...]
i love how it ends the season. just. i love it so much. i love how it follows after the ballad of cowboy jam... because cowboy jam is outside tier one, it is jam's bravery, their success and perseverance, but shrink/swell is woe.begone- it is season 10 in relation to other seasons, it is highlighting the volatility, the constant change, the unrest of the life of a time traveler's life because s10 proved that to be incredibly true.
both have similar ideas: "you may never know why things happened like this" and "meaning is detached/it can roll right off your back", yet one is more proactive, jam Does stuff, they are challenged by outside forces but they persevere, on the other hand, the speaker in shrink/swell Is changed there is no actor, the speaker simply shrinks and swells, they can't even cup [presumably water], with their "useless little hands"... AND YETTTT despite the difference in tone and mood, both look to the future, sanguine... "the longest night eventually gives way/to a hopefully better day" and "only time will tell/which of these forms/you'll know forever" even if the future is. well. complicated, given the uh. nature of time in woe.begone
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Okay so I'm glad you responded to my ask and I read what people commented under it and that kinda hurt me because I wasnt meant to be rude to you at all? I feel like people are getting so defensive that you as a writer can't receive any criticism or feedback anymore because it's all 'bad and rude'. Me losing interest and telling you wasnt meant to be rude. It was more to let you know. I thought most writers would like to know how readers react to whatever they do related to their writing -🔥
Don't get me wrong the death threats and insults are in no way okay. But why can't I be upset about the fact that there hasnt been an update for awhile? I feel like everytime someone even mentions it they get attacked by every reader on here. I'm aware of all the things going on in your life and that things sometimes take awhile but I can't even say anything anymore about chapter 35 without hearing 'its for free don't be rude'. Sure it's for free, but I got invested and it never came -🔥
So I'm sorry I wasnt meant to be rude. But how people react to criticism on here is kind of a problem to me. Losing interest had nothing to do with not supporting you. It just happens. Anyway I hope you haven't blocked me so you can receive these. This is the third and last ask of the things I wanted to say. For people asking for my @ after telling you that I lost interest. I wont ask this one anonymously. I'm not scared. In my opinion I did nothing wrong. I hope you are feeling well! -🔥
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I'm going to make this very clear; I'm not going to expose your @. I don't feel comfortable with it. 
With that aside, let's move on to the rest, shall we?
As a writer, I have received multiple critics and feedback. I think it is because of it; the story is the way it is. However, the problem is that people don't understand the difference between genuine constructive criticism versus entitlement/hate/personal attack.
You're no longer reading Limerence, not because of the plot, or character development, or anything of these likings. You're no longer reading Limerence because you don't like how often I update.
When I update doesn't affect the actual quality of the story itself. 
By this statement, I mean this;
if I were to update this story once every year until I finish it and you were to wait till it's all done and read it in one sitting, you would've enjoyed the story. Nothing in the actual story itself turns you off; what you don't enjoy is the update schedule.
This is why I didn't view your ask as valid criticism because your 'feedback' doesn't change the fact that I don't have time to update. I can't change time itself. If you were to say, 'hey, I don't like the pacing, I find that x and y part moves quickly and you should slow it down' then naturally, this is a valid criticism.
You gave me something to work with, you aren't invalidating me in any way, and it's useful. This is what you wrote;
Anonymous asked:
Hey, I kinda lost interest because not only does it take ages for you to update, you also don't keep your promises. Hope you're doing well, bye. -🔥
Reading this, you can not honestly say this was supportive feedback.
This isn't to invalidate your frustration for a lack of updates. Because I can tell, with the utmost certainty, my readers have made it clear they're also frustrated. We all are annoyed, but, here comes the infamous saying, 'this is free.'
I know it's a redundant statement, but there's a reason why it comes up often - and it's because it's true.
You invested yourself in this story, and because of this, you want an update. I get it, hell, I've been waiting for an update for a year for a fanfic I love after they tried multiple times to update, but it fell through. Do I get frustrated and annoyed? Yes.
However, just because I'm invested in a story doesn't entitle me to an update.
If you think you've invested into a story by reading it, how do you think the authors of these stories feel when they're trying super hard to write these chapters, but life keeps screwing them over? You writing 'I got invested and it never came' screams entitlement. Just because you read a story doesn't automatically mean you deserve an update.
If I or any other writer wants to, we can stop writing whenever we please.
I could, right now, delete everything, and my readers would be devasted, but they also know that I have every right to do it because it's my work.
If I want to kill off every character, turn this into some superman x ATLA crossover in the next chapter - I can do it. 
Authors love criticism because it's their jobs, but fanfiction writers? If they don't ask for it, don't give it. This is a hobby.
When you play a game with friends, your friends don't start criticizing your every move because it's all for fun! Unless you purposely ask for it or people ask if you're open to criticism and you accept, then it's wanted.
For future reference, don't criticize people's fanfictions without asking or knowing they want it - because, for many, this isn't a job, including me. I don't mind genuine constructive criticism; I even include this in my author's notes on Wattpad, Quotev, and Ao3.
I hope this explains why many people were upset by your ask. We've had discussions about my lack of updates on this blog, no problems in the slightest.
People got upset because the way you expressed your disappointment was laced with a tone of entitlement, you insulted me and suggested I'm unable to uphold promises (a personal attack) - and none of this has yet to improve my story-writing or Limerence as a whole.
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that-soccer-guru · 4 years
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I liked sonnett when she was in portland but her silence and lack of any useful statement in support of blm and opposition of police brutality (plus her deleting people’s comments way back) just made me feel icky and uncomfortable. I’m a poc and I also have black friends and the thought of supporting someone who is so ignorant about the oppression that my friends face is just... it just doesn’t sit right with me. How did you navigate that whole thing?
(warning this is gonna be a long one)
Hey there, you know what that is a really good question. I obviously can't speak for the black community, seeing as I am paler than freshly fallen snow, but I've tried to educate myself in the issues as much as possible and have done my best to be outspoken whenever possible.
As a private individual that is easy as hell, as a public figure unlearning the toxic shit they've been taught, while being in the public eye can't be easy. I am definitely not excusing her past behavior at all, I agree that it wasnt amazing to see a player I respect knuckling down on the wrong side of an issue and erasing comments calling her out on it. I don't believe anyone should be able to say "well I'm just here to do my job and I'M not the one being racist", and she hasn't said it in so many words but it's a league wide thing that white players have stayed silent, and it's really disappointing.
I believe, however, that a lot of these players are putting in more work than what we can see, and while I don't believe in excusing players for their upbringing, I feel like as a Georgia born player Sonnett has more to unlearn than a lot of her teammates. One of my friends says it takes time to exhale the shit you've been inhaling for years. Obviously she's neither a child nor does she live under a rock, so the belief that "it's hard" shouldn't hold water BUT I do think that by not going against the movement in even the smallest way possibles, she's making strides (unlike another Georgia born player who couldn't even do the bare minimum with the kneeling). And that, even if we can't tell at all times, she has to be asking questions and doing the legwork in private.
BUT this should DEFINITELY not be a consolation prize. Sonnett and other white players should NEVER be given a pass because "they're trying". It's deeply disappointing to me when they're open to Performative activism, or worst they're silent, when people who look up to them need some activism from them. Had she played in the Challenge cup, I don't know that I can say she would've kneeled for the anthems (literally the smallest gesture) and to know that I can't say she would've with certainty is, frankly, disappointing.
However, I want to believe that she's listening to the mature voices of people she looks up to. She's, thankfully, surrounded by players that CAN and HAVE been very active with the BLM movement and have been outspoken about police brutality. I want to think that, because every once in a while I notice her posting links to donations and important information, she's listening to people around her. Despite being a very private person, I want to hope that she'll be more outspoken in the future. I want to think that she will keep following the lead of her black teammates and learn to lead by example when it's her turn to mentor other white players who will have to be better.
It's the least we can expect from the people we look up to that, even if they're just human, they'll be informed about the real life issues that affect everyday human beings. Especially someone surrounded by all kinds of diversity! The league may be predominantly white but, it ain't by much. Sonnett, and others like her, have to make an effort to learn, and I hope we can say we've seen the change soon enough.
All that being said—I had no qualms about being angry and refusing to support Julie Ertz for her Performative bullshit in the challenge cup. I had no problem deciding that Kelley O'Hara no longer gets my support for her refusal to kneel during the anthem or apparently listening to the black women around her calling her on her shit (which especially stings bc she was one of my favorite players, and she's a woman I really looked up to). And if it comes to it, I'll have no problem with not supporting Sonnett anymore even if she's my favorite player at the moment and I admire her game a lot. Hopefully it won't come to it.
TLDR: I think it's inexcusable that white women are silent on these issues, especially white women with a platform. I am very cautious about giving credit for their improvements while remaining critical of their faults. I'd like to believe that Sonnett has come a long way with the guidance of her teammates, and that she will continue to learn and becomes a real advocate for the black community. That being said, I have no qualms about dropping a person, even one I admire, if they demonstrate to be repeatedly problematic, even in the face of the affected people telling them how they're hurting them and the people like them. You're right to feel uncomfortable by her silence and, if it comes to it, you'd be right to not support her anymore. I'd be right there with you.
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sirenperlicio · 4 years
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Hi there! Can I have a pendulum please? Will I pass my dream university UI entrance exams? If so, will I study management or international relations? Thank you! M♌️💛
Hello, for your question my pendulum was refusing to answer either question. I asked a few different ways and even gave it some time to chill and it still would not answer, it only gave me a very slight unclear answer. However, I would feel so bad if I didn’t answer your question at all so I asked my tarot. For your first question my tarot showed me the eight of cups. This card normally means disappointment and moving on yet, I also feel that there is abandonment and leaving something behind too soon. Now normally I know what my tarot is trying to say easily, (i love my tarot) but this card is honestly foggy and a little unclear to me for this question. I think the big thing here is to slow down and wait for the results. If you have already taken the exam then don’t lose hope yet. If you haven’t taken the exam then don’t worry about failing and focus on studying so you pass. Overall, don’t move on until you know the results, and if you haven’t taken the exam yet make sure you put in the effort to pass. 
update: I asked my other pendulum (i wasnt planning on using it today but decided to try it anyway) i still got a very unclear answer for your first question. For your second question however my pendulum just refused to answer, different refusal than the first time with the first pendulum. On my pendulum board I have an option of will not answer and that was all it was showing me for the second question. I am sorry, I wish my answer could have brought some more clarity to you. 
Thank you for your question, good luck, and good fortune to you. <3
Please consider sending me feedback for this reading as it greatly helps me improve future readings.
Also if you are able and willing to, consider letting others know that my one card tarot readings and 3 question pendulum readings are open!
If you would like a more in-depth reading I offer detailed readings on my Ko-Fi for $1 per card. Tips are always appreciated but not expected. <3
*As with all readings please remember that the cards or pendulum don’t know everything. My tarot and pendulum simply share what they are able to perceive at the moment. Things change all the time and nothing can predict the future with 100% certainty. However, knowing the possibilities that the tarot and pendulum share can help us better our future and ourselves.
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no1trash2003 · 5 years
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GCSE is an absolute, inarguable joke.
Recently, contravercy has sprung up about the usefulness of the new spec GCSE. As of June of this year, 2019, I completed my allotted gcse's. I can say with absolute certainty that the exams I partook in were a joke.
Last year, I completed 3 GCSE courses early, English lit, Physics and Biology. My school made a complete mess of this. We learned all of my two science courses within the year, with 3 different qualified teachers (all separately after they fled the school) and 5 supply teachers, none of whom knew anything about the subject. I can say without a doubt that my year was unprepared and suffered the consequences. This, along with how hard the gcse was supposed to be now, resulted in many of my peers not even showing up on the exam day after collapsing under the pressure of preconceived failure. Many of those who tried in the gcse, learning the entirety of the course in their own time in other words, did well.
In other words, it was easy. Well, at least, answering the questions was. After getting their results back many were shocked at their low grade, but as it turns out (and as many of them knew) Mark's were not given on how correct an answer was or how thought out it was. No, Mark's were given entirely based off how many key words you could shove into your 6 marker, or how much flowery bullshit you could beat your english answer with.
Just to put this into context, I didn't try in my y10 GCSE's. I knew for my science GCSE, it was entirely based off memorisation. I knew for my English GCSE I had to spell out the obvious with some pretty words sprinkled on top. I slept in class, I drew for my art GCSE, I did maths- all in my english lessons, and my science lessons which early into the year virtually became free periods.
I went into the exam apathetic. In the holidays that followed, I lost no sleep.
We didn't have a results day, so I called up the school when the y11's got their results. In English lit, I was a few Mark's off a 9, A*. In biology, a 6, B. In physics, 7, A. To put this even more into perspective, I have dyslexia, a learning disability affecting language with which I received no accommodation for in or outside of my exams. I also suffer from auditory memory gaps.
Without a doubt I can say my exams were a joke, simply because of how well I did. My friends, who studied for hours and stressed to the point of it being labelled a disorder, came back with lower grades than me.
They knew the content better than me, without a doubt. Their understanding was deep where mine was shallow. They could recite key words off by heart. They did everything they could to do well in these exams, and were evidently lied to when they were told their efforts would be rewarded.
So, if not depth of understanding or key words separated a 9 from a 6, what does? What reason am I granted the ability of easily sliding by my gcse's when they struggled?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
In the being of the year, I'd taken one look at the mark scheme and known. My results would be completely meaningless. All it took in english, was saying the book or poem i was writing about was shit, fluffing it up with worthless words, and the mark scheme shat out an 8, A*. In my Physics GCSE, all it took was maths to get that 7. I didnt know shit about anything else. In biology, much the same.
I did well because I knew how to bullshit my way through. I knew where to slap a pretty word to seem smart and I knew how to use a calculator to its fullest potential. These skills, unfortunately, have nothing to do with the supposed gcse topic and are not in the spec.
I did better because I could lie better- and no, I didnt bother cheating
How is that not a joke? HOW can something so fickle and abstract decide my future, and the future of my friends? Why does it condemn those that seek knowledge for knowledges sake, and reward those like me, who know well enough that the whole thing was a sham?
This idea was strongly reinforced when I went onto Y11.
It was filled to the brim with more of the same. Shove in some flowery words, say something is a bit shit, do some maths. This time, however, I wanted to test a theory.
What difference would trying make?
There were exams I'd have to try in, like Fine Art and maths, but the rest were just as bullshit as the last year. For example, in chemistry, we had an actual teacher for a grand total of 3 weeks, and the course spec was so basic and boring that a 3 year old could understand it- if, you know, it wasnt overloaded with pointless bullshit to the point of looking to be gibberish. It was like asking someone to memorize a dictionary, and testing them on a small specific section of it that is to be randomly selected. The results would obviously be completely random.
Its easily understood that people are simply better at some things and worse at others. Someone who is good at this randomly selected section of the spec will do better in the exam than someone with a more rounded understanding of the spec as a whole. The exam is completely and utterly the bitch of this concept.
I find nanotubes (and related fullerines) as well as maths easy. I did well in the chemistry paper. I'm good at testing for things, I did well. My friend knew everything there was to know about atoms, radiation and reactions. This was not heavily featured in the exam, so they are marked lesser. My other friend had a good understanding of the spec as a whole, but due to this couldn't answer the highest level questions with the most Mark's as their understanding was left shallow. They are marked lesser. Trying didnt make a difference, and I see that now more than ever, at least for chemistry.
In geography, I tried my best. I know that, unfortunately, my memory issues dragged me down. As sad as it is to say, my learning disability and memory issues, both diagnosed officially, held me back in the memory based exams. Fortunately, I had my understanding of the subject as a small consolation. It was secondary to the memory aspect unfortunately, and mostly answered low mark questions. How sick is it, that understanding is secondary in the face of memory. Truly, a these exams were built around memorizing a textbook. Trying didnt make a difference. In the end, I failed to memories much of anything. The things based off understanding were obvious and required little to no effort to grasp. I know I could slept those classes away, and the only difference would be a slight increase in my health. The exam, evidently, was a joke.
Now, to the main reason I wrote this long winded and obvious rant.
The English Language GCSE.
Of course I tried my hardest. In every mock bar one I got high 9's. I helped my classmates. I participated and revised and stressed. I turned up to the exams, feverish with tonsillitis. I tried my best, both for the exam and to not throw up. I littered my words with as many false pleasantries and flowery bulshit as I could. I called the basic and dull literature what it was, basic and dull, a thing discouraged by teachers despite earning me my 9s. I wrote some depressing drivel in the final question 5, making sure to put mild, professional and somewhat abstract opinions into it (again, something that gave me 9's)
I left the exam without pride. I was sure I'd done well, but the success I was meant to feel was only grief for the years I'd lost in a classroom, miserable.
Later, I would feel proud. Maybe I'd see. Maybe, hopefully, my theory was wrong- at least in regards to English language.
Then, article after article poured into my feed. One particular article on Mumsnet called the marking scheme ' a shitshow'.
So I sat down, weeks after the official end of Y11, and reviewed the markshemes we'd based the entire course on at my school.
The articles were right. It was vague jargon, and completely subjective. It called for judicious quotes, with nothing to specify what should be considered such. It called for a high and sophisticated vocabulary, and again, completely contradicted this when looking at exams from the previous year which were marked as such. It was without a doubt the most completely ambiguous thing I'd ever read, and the people marking my exam seemed to agree. Sleep deprived and stressed to fuck, the reality of it has passed my by but was now clear as day.
In the end, my hard work didnt pay off. It doesn't matter now if I get a 9 or a 3. I know theres little chance it will be a reflection of my exam. For better or worse.
My classmates seem to understand this as well as me. So, what did the GCSE's actually manage to teach us?
It taught us to accept failure. Success is a bold faced lie entirely based off luck.
Those bold enough to say hard work is rewarded have their heads shoved in the sand.
Trying made no difference.
I see, now, what was going through those peoples heads last year, when they didnt show up for the exams or classes. Hard work is not rewarded and they were going to fail from the start.
They were too honest, and clearly, the only thing valued in GCSE's is the ability to lie so well that the exam marker is also tricked. Trying at this point would be a hopeless, draining task.
All that the GCSE's gave me was problems. Now, getting up in the morning is harder than my exams ever were. I abandoned everything for those exams, like many others. I lost my health, physical and mental. I lost my personality and sense of self. I lost years of my life, that should be cherished, to dispare. These gcse's are a tortuous joke and I wish more than anything that I'd never bothered in the first place because in the end, it wouldn't have made a difference.
Now, I'm moving on to collage to do much of the same. All I see ahead of me is misery, but unfortunately, this apearese to be an unchangeable reality placed upon us as a sick twisted joke. I've accepted this, as sad as it is, but I cant stand by as people lie to themselves and others, saying GCSE's are in any way worth it outside of a number on some paper.
Education is long dead. That's what GCSE's taught me.
Update- results: english lan, 7 (gonna get remarked), lit, 8. Maths-8. Bio-6. Chem-7. Physics-7. Art-9. Computer science-7. Geo-7
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thetravelerwrites · 6 years
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Commitments: Part 1 (Gargoyles Fanfic)
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Rating: Teen Fandom: Disney’s Gargoyles Relationships: Goliath x Elisa Maza Additional Tags: Marriage, Proposal, Engagement Trigger Warnings: Light Language, Sex Mention Words: 3996
Takes place in the years 1998-2000, and pertains to the Commitment Ceremony that had been planned for future comics between Elisa and Goliath. There will also be Brooklyn/Katana and Broadway/Angela moments thrown in. Please leave feedback!
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It wasn’t going to be a wedding, not exactly. Gargoyles had no need to marry; once they gave their heart to someone, they were bound to that person until death or until they decided they were no longer compatible, which frankly was an uncommon occurrence among Goliath’s people. The severance of his union with Demona was, although perfectly understandable under the circumstances, exceedingly rare.
Gargoyles trusted their feelings far more than humans did theirs. On the whole, they didn’t often succumb to insecurity about their own love for their mates or the love of their mates for them. Perhaps that was why humans needed the security of marriage, the notion that they controlled their own emotions and not the other way around, to give them a sense of certainty about their feelings. Tokens, legal documents, and ceremonies were all trappings of humanity’s desire to make something as simple as loving another person complicated and tedious, and to Gargoyles, unnecessary.
The ceremony had been Goliath’s idea, though. After the Masquerade two years ago at the Xanatos Building in which Thailog had nearly killed Goliath, Elisa had sat down with him sometime later, nearly a month, and they discussed their relationship at length over coffee, laying out what being together meant for the both of them and if they felt it was still worth pursuing. They both agreed that it was.
Elisa told him that she had come to terms with the things about their lives together that would always be out of their reach and seemed content to lay them aside, having made the personal discovery that being with Goliath was worth far more to her than a normal human life. Goliath wasn’t sure he completely believed her but decided not to push the matter. He was simply happy to have her back.
After they had talked, Goliath had flown back to the tower with his thoughts in a roil. Being with him shouldn’t rob her of everything she had wanted in a mate. Surely some middle ground was to be reached in this situation. He had taken seriously the things Elisa had said during the brief period when they had separated. There were things he knew he’d never be able to give her: the house in the suburbs with the white picket fence she had spoken of. Gargoyles didn’t believe in money, and they had little to no interest in physical property, so buying a house was out of the question. Goliath suspected, however, that this specific desire was an optional one.
It was children that would be the biggest issue for Elisa and Goliath was keenly aware of it, even if she said it didn’t matter to her anymore. It wasn’t the same for him; Gargoyles did not have daughters or sons, nor fathers and mothers. The children of the clan belonged to the whole clan. That was simply the Gargoyle way.
Though he had to admit, this was no longer true, at least for the Manhattan Clan. Brooklyn was deeply devoted to his and Katana’s hatchlings. Goliath knew Angela and Broadway had been privately discussing laying their own egg. Goliath himself had come to love his only biological daughter as any father should, and while Elisa loved Angela very much and treasured their friendship, he doubted Elisa would ever consider her a daughter. They were too close in equivalent age for that. A child was one thing Elisa would never have with Goliath, and though it was a matter they both regretted deeply, nothing could be done to change it.
It wasn’t until he was back at the tower and overheard Owen talking about plans for Xanato’s anniversary that it clicked. There was one thing he could do for her. He could, officially and in public, surrounded by friends, family, and clan, declare his love for her. Become not only her mate, but her husband, and she his wife. Human terms though they were, Goliath didn’t mind them so much if it would make her happy, and he dearly wanted her to be happy.
Goliath was unfamiliar with the specifics of the ritual and resorted to asking Elisa’s brother, Talon, for help in planning it. One aspect was talking to the parents and, in some cases, asking the father for permission. Talon laughed at this, amused at the thought of the progressive, independent Elisa furious at both Goliath and her father for discussing her like she was a commodity for which they could barter.
Goliath did think that talking to Elisa’s parents about his intentions was appropriate. He wanted them to be there for the ceremony, as they would become part of his clan. Diane accepted it immediately, though Peter had needed a bit of convincing. Diane had given Goliath a ring that had belonged to her grandmother; a silver band with five inlaid sapphires. In return, Goliath asked Diane to officiate the ceremony. Diane cried, accepted, and hugged Goliath around the middle, an embrace Goliath awkwardly returned.
Another aspect of the ritual was, as Talon had put it, to “pop the question.” And one couldn’t just come out and ask, either, it had to be done in a special way with forethought and meaning. Talon had told Goliath about New Hope in Pennsylvania, which was an hour and forty-five minutes by bus, but much faster by air, which he knew from taking Maggie there a fair few times. There was a wildflower reserve there that Elisa had visited often as a child, but she hadn’t been back since she had entered the academy. Goliath thought it sounded perfect.
He kept his intentions quiet from everyone else, waiting for the right moment to ask Elisa and get her answer before mentioning it to anyone besides her family. It had taken time, more than a year, for him to work up the nerve. One thing or another always seemed to get in the way; her work, their missions, villains, new threats, all seemed to pop up just as Goliath was attempting to pull her away and ask.
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One night in July of 1999, he finally had the chance he was waiting for. Elisa had three nights off in a row, the city was relatively quiet, there were no pressing matters to attend to at the castle, and despite the summer heat, the nights were pleasantly cool. Thinking this could be his only chance to do things properly, he made his plan to take her out to the reserve swiftly, before something could stop him. Goliath had only told her they were going somewhere special and left it at that.
That night, he reached her apartment and let himself in through the open window. He found her in the kitchen packing a picnic basket with various things, looking up at him with a beaming smile as he came closer. She was draped in a lovely pale blue dress, knee-length and flared at the hip, as practical as it was pretty.
She abandoned her task long enough to jump into his embrace, her feet dangling from the floor, and plant a kiss on his lips, which he returned with a gentle smile.
“It’s good to see you, too,” He said.
She laughed. “So where are we going?” She asked, still clutching his neck and running a finger up and down the place where his back curved into his neck, feeling the strange, minuscules scales that made up his skin, so fine and small that you had to be looking very close to see them at all. Rough when caressed one way, smooth if rubbed the other.
“It’s a surprise,” Goliath said as he released her. Her hands slid down his chest as she was set back on her feet and moved away to finish packing. “But we must go soon. It is quite far.”
She smiled and nodded, picking up the basket and a blanket that had been thrown over a nearby chair, and allowing herself to be lifted up and cradled in Goliath’s arms. Then they were off.
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The trip took the better part of forty minutes, and they whiled away the time by talking about one thing or another. It was so much better now that it was all out in the open and they didn’t have to dance around each other as they had done in the first two years of their acquaintance when they couldn’t admit their feelings. Now things between them were easier, effortless, like talking with your best friend. Because Goliath was her best friend; the best she had ever had.
Elisa had been talking about plans for her sister’s graduation next year when she looked down and stopped mid-sentence.
“Wait!” She said, shifting a little to get a better look. “I know where we are! The wildflower reserve! Goliath, how did you find out about this place?”
“Your brother mentioned it to me,” Goliath said smugly. “He said this place was special to you.”
“Aw,” Elisa tutted. “I should visit him and Maggie soon.”
“I have no doubt you two will have much to discuss,” He said.
“What do you mean?” She asked.
“Nothing. There’s a deck there where we can land. Hold on.” He dove downward quickly, flattening his wings against his back as the ground rose swiftly to meet them. He unfurled his wings with enough time to slow them without scrambling their insides before landing gently on the wooden patio sitting in the middle of the field, surrounded by the colorful, fragrant plants as far as the eye could see. Talon had been right. This was the perfect place.
Elisa handed him the quilt, which he shook out and laid down over the wood. Elisa knelt and went about setting the things she had packed out onto the fabric. Goliath sat down cross-legged and assisted.
The basket had contained sandwiches, cheeses, and fruit, as well as water, wine, and if Elisa was feeling particularly festive, a bottle of whiskey.
“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble, Elisa,” Goliath said, looking over the spread she had packed.
“It wasn’t any trouble. I just threw some stuff in a basket. You’re the one who lugged us here in forty minutes with no break.” She handed him a glass of wine and a small plate with food, which he accepted with a smile. “I’m glad you suggested we do this. I love New York, but it’s nice to get away from the city for a while and spend some time with you alone.”
“I agree,” He replied. “This has been long overdue.”
She poured herself a glass of wine and settled next to him, leaning into him and sighing contently. He enjoyed the weight and warmth of her body against his. They ate and drank in relative silence, but not an uncomfortable one. They were not the type of couple that felt the need to fill the void with inane chatter. Simply being alone with each other with no sense urgency or distress was reward enough.
After a while, when they had eaten their fill and drank enough wine to make them feel very at ease, Goliath sat up straight and reached behind him.
“I have something for you,” He said, pulling out a thin, long blue box in roughly she shape of a book, complete with a bow. “A gift.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Where were you hiding that?”
He smiled a wide, toothy smile that was most unlike him, and presented the box to her. She took it with a furtive glance at him.
“You’ve never given me a gift before,” She said, intrigued.
“No,” Goliath admitted. “Gift-giving is not a typical Gargoyle practice. Tonight is special, however.”
“Special, how?”
“You shall see.”
Quirking an eyebrow at him, she untied the bow and lifted the lid. It was, in fact, a book: a photo album. The covers, back and front, were plain and bound in a midnight blue canvas. She opened the cover and gasped. The very first picture was of every person she loved standing together; her parents, Derek and Maggie, all of the Manhattan Clan, including Brooklyn and Katana’s hatchlings, tall Nashville and tiny Matsuko, and the newest edition, Broadway and Angela’s egg, which they proudly held between them. Lexington had little Alexander on his shoulders, now three years old but looking much older. Even Beth was there, smiling and standing with her arm around Derek’s waist. Goliath was also there, standing head and shoulders above the rest, square in the middle with his hand on Angela’s shoulder, a crooked smile on his normally grim features.
“Oh, my God,” Elisa breathed, flipping through the pages only to find more photos of her family and the clan interacting. There was a picture of Alexander playing with Matsuko, with Bronx laying belly up next to them. There was one of Derek, Maggie, Beth, Diane, Peter, and Matt Bluestone all playing cards together. There were tastefully shot photographs of the Gargoyles as stone in the sunlight, both in greyscale and in full color. There was even a sneakily obtained shot of Elisa sitting with all of them last year when she had managed to get them together for Christmas dinner, taken without her knowledge. She marveled at each page, a wondering smile lighting her face.
“How?” She asked. “How did you do this?”
“Your sister, Beth, helped me put it together. I wanted to do something special for you. She gave us all disposable cameras and asked us to take pictures, and she developed the film herself.” He was delighted by the pure joy in her expression. “You like it?”
“Goliath, I love this. I love it so much. It’s beautiful.” She kept turning the pages, stopping at each one to admire and smile at the candid shots of her family, of Angela sitting quietly and cradling her egg with Broadway hovering protectively nearby, of Katana and Beth laughing over tea with Matsuko in Beth’s lap, laughing along with them. Of her father and Hudson reclining in easy-chairs, talking somberly over a glass of bourbon. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever been given.
“Thank you, Goliath,” She said, holding the book to her chest. “I love it so much.”
“Keep going,” He said with a smile. “I saved the best for last.”
She grinned at him and kept turning pages until she reached the back cover, where rested a small, plain, white envelope.
“What’s this?” She asked, holding it up.
“Open it,” He replied. His smile was gone and he seemed to tense suddenly, though she was unsure why. Puzzled, she slit open the top of the envelope with her fingernail and peered inside.
“What is that?” She asked quietly, as if to herself. She tipped the envelope over and the silver ring tumbled into her hand. At first, she didn’t react, trying to comprehend what she was seeing. She looked up at him, a stunned expression on her face. He was looking at her very seriously, all trace of playfulness gone.
“Goliath,” Elisa said slowly, turning the band slowly in her fingers, examining it as if it were a riddle to be solved. “This is a ring.”
Yes,” Goliath answered simply, watching her face with rising apprehension.
She looked up at him, her chest tight. “For humans, when a man gives a woman a ring, it means something.”
“Yes, I am aware of this,” Goliath replied, his eyes still locked on hers. “I’ve spoken to your family. Your mother gave me this ring. To give to you.”
Elisa was finding it hard to breathe. Surely he didn’t mean… he wasn’t… “Are… are you…. Goliath, what does this mean?”
Goliath reached out his hand, and Elisa laid the ring into his open palm.
“Elisa,” he began. “When a Gargoyle chooses a mate, they pledge themselves to each other, much the same as humans do. But for our kind, it is a private matter that takes place between the two souls in love, away from prying eyes. After the pledge is made, it is acknowledged within the clan that the lovers are no longer two separate souls, but one soul that resides in two bodies, living for and within each other.
“Ceremonies and celebrations are not the Gargoyle way,” He continued. “We find gladness in the union of our friends and rejoice in their happiness, but there are no festivities to mark the occasion. That is a human custom.” Goliath looked long at the ring sitting cold and smooth in his hand. “But if I am to take a human woman as my mate, as I intend to do, I must come to accept her people’s customs and adapt to them. For her people will become my people, as mine have already become hers.”
Elisa sat staring wide-eyed at Goliath, her mouth open in shock.
“Therefore,” Goliath continued, taking a breath and reaching for Elisa’s left hand, which she offered. “I, Goliath, willingly offer to pledge my life and love to you, and ask you, Elisa Maza, if you would willingly pledge your life and love to me. Do you accept this offer?”
She seemed too stunned for speech. Her breathing was shallow and uneven. A tear spilled over her eye and down her cheek.
“Elisa?” Goliath asked in concern, brushing the tear away. “Are you alright?”
She nodded, another tear falling. She held his hand to her face and managed to find her voice, though it came out rather strangled. “I accept.”
A smile started to spread across his face. “Yes?”
“Yes,” She said, wiping her cheeks and laughing. “I accept. Nothing else on earth would make me happier.”
She took the ring from his palm and put it on her left ring finger, then pushed herself up to her knees to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him. His arms encircled her waist and squeezed gently.
The kiss deepened became more urgent. Elisa fell back, pulling him with her so that he lay next to her on the blanket. Their arms wrapped tightly around each other as they explored each other’s kiss. She boldly flicked her tongue into his mouth and over his teeth, sharp enough to bite through steel, with no fear or apprehension. He responded in kind.
He gently caressed her face with one hand and the fingers of his other hand traced the skin up and down her spine. She had always marveled at the level of control it took for a person who could literally tear a car apart with his bare hands to touch her so tenderly. His claws were made for penetrating stone and metal, to climb and carry the immense weight of his body, yet in all the times he had touched her, he had never once left a mark.
Taking his hand from her face, she moved it downward to touch her breast. Goliath stiffened and pulled away.
“Elisa,” He started with a sigh. “We have discussed this.”
“Goliath,” She replied in a slightly exasperated voice. She sat up. “Every time I try to initiate intimacy with you, you push me away. Ever since that night we decided to stay together, you’ve brushed me off. I always figured it’s because you’re just old-fashioned, but I really think we are past the point of propriety here, don’t you?”
“It is not about that,” He said, pushing himself up into a sitting position as well. “When you first attempted to engage with me, we had just repaired our relationship. It was new and fragile, and I felt it was far too soon to be intimate with you.”
“I can understand that, Goliath, but we’ve been together for over two years now. Our relationship is more solid than it’s ever been. Besides, we are both adults, and we’ve done this before. Not with each other, obviously, but we have both had sexual partners in the past. Neither of us are exactly virgins.”
“That is not the point,” Goliath said. “Humans treat this subject with far too much indifference. There is no such thing as a casual encounter among Gargoyles.”
“Do you really think that’s what I’m trying to do?” Elisa said, mildly annoyed. “We literally just got… I don’t know… engaged? Betrothed? This isn’t exactly ‘casual’ for me.”
She folded her arms, looking away into the distance and growing quiet, as though she had suddenly realized something deeply unpleasant.
“What is it?” He asked, watching her expression shift.
“Nothing, it’s not worth mentioning,” She said dismissively, though she wouldn’t look at him.
“Tell me.”
She sighed, tilting her head in a begrudging way and refused to meet his eye, looking out over the field of flowers.
“Well,” She started slowly. “I had thought… I mean, I know Gargoyles don’t exactly find humans physically attractive. I thought, maybe… you didn’t think of me… in that…” She trailed off, visibly embarrassed.
It took a moment for Goliath to comprehend what she was saying. “Oh! No, Elisa, it isn’t like that at all. I have wanted to…” He struggled for wording that wouldn’t be vulgar. “To be with you in that way many times while we have been together.”
“Then why haven’t you?” She asked, looking at him. She was definitely upset.
“You must understand, to my kind, the act of making love is a promise in and of itself. To do so before now would not have been… appropriate.”
“So why not now?” Elisa asked him, her arms still folded. The ring he had given her noticeably glinting against the dark skin of her hand, drawing his eye.
He took her hand and held it in his, bending down to kiss her fingers. “Elisa, I love you,” He said gently. “To me, this is as miraculous a thing as seeing the sunrise with my own two eyes. After what Demona had done, after all the betrayals my clan had suffered by not only humans, but from my own kind, I had sworn that I would never trust or love again. You were the one to change that. The fact that you are human makes no difference; I desire to…” If a Gargoyle could blush, Elisa believed he might be. “To touch your body and lie with you and show you the depths of my longing.
“I wish to give you all that you desire and more, but I wish to do so the proper way. Though our methods may be different, both humans and Gargoyles set aside a time in which they make their pledge, after which they consummate the union. For my people, it is a private matter, but humans have a ceremony in which all the people they love gather to be a part of the celebration. As I understand it, the consummation takes place after the festivities have ended. ‘The wedding night,’ I believe it’s called. I want for you as normal a life as I am capable of providing. It is important to me that we observe the human ritual of marriage as well as we can, including the consummation ritual.”
Elisa had to laugh at that. “Honestly, Goliath, I hadn’t pegged you for the ‘saving myself for marriage’ type. But that part of the marriage is usually for people who are religious, and you and I both know neither of us are what you might call devout. In this day and age, it’s at most an optional aspect of the wedding.”
“Even so,” Goliath said, smiling. “I believe it is the right thing to do.”
Elisa sighed. She stood briefly and then settled in his lap, her arms around his neck. “You’re really going make me wait, aren’t you?”
Goliath returned her embrace. “I’m afraid so. But I promise you, it will be worth the wait.”
“It had better be,” She said dangerously, tracing his lips with her finger. He caught her hand and then kissed her again. She grumbled around the kiss but relented. He definitely wasn’t making it easy on her.
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My Masterlist
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everypieceintoafire · 6 years
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my homestuck fics on ao3 - a smallish masterpost
I realised I only had these linked on a custom page, which isn't very mobile-friendly, so here they are.
Let There Be Light
An Earth-Shattering Confession was the first fic I ever finished and, aside from an abandoned Star Trek story, the first of my fiction to see the light of day since the mid-00s. I wrote the first chapter on our netbook, sleepless, sat up in bed, uploaded by morning, and I had no idea where I was going with it. Two days later I was uploading chapter two. I had so much fun.
It's about a trans girl who comes out to her friends. That's pretty much it. It's like fifty percent pesterlog.
The amazing thegeekgene has performed the whole thing!
TT: I've been meaning to ask you for a favor. And that favor comes with a confession. TT: It's rather a large favor. GA: I See GA: How Does It Compare To The Size Of The Confession GA: Are We Talking Mountains And Burrowbeast Hills Or TT: The confession is, if anything, larger. TT: Earth-shattering, if you will. Or possibly Alternia-shattering. One way or another one of our planets is going to get caught in the shockwave created by my horrifying secret. TT: The moment I open my mouth to speak the terrible truth will be remembered in the histories of advanced civilizations as the origin point of the bizarre spatial anomaly that erased this world, burrowbeasts and all, from the universe. TT: You may wish to bring a portable transportalizer so you can escape to a less doomed planet once I've opened my heart to you. GA: I Am Afraid I Have No Such Device GA: But As A Troll I Am Capable Of Surviving The Vacuum Of Space For Several Minutes Without Suffering Harm GA: Its Entirely Possible My Mysterious Rainbow Drinker Powers Will Extend That GA: And According To The Book You Loaned Me Two Weeks Ago A Mere Thirty Seconds Is All You Need Before A Helpful Soul In A Passing Spaceship Arrives To Affect A Rescue GA: Provided Said Ship Is Powered By An Engine Sufficiently Humorous And Improbable GA: So We Can Assume I Will Live Through This Momentous Event GA: And With That Assumption Safely Made And Acknowledged By All Parties Move On To The Confession Itself TT: Ah.
The Other Girl came next and is a one-pager about dysphoria.
On Bananas followed that and is basically about how I don't understand Spironolactone.
These stories are grouped together in a series called Let There Be Light. There's also the unfinished stories Growing Up Again and We'll Stand Up Together, which may well continue at some point!
Prompts
Finding the Path was written (mostly on trains and in a great hurry) as a pinch-hit for Homestuck Ladyfest 2013. It's patchy, but the dialogue is kind of fun (primarily because I only had about two days to write it so I wrote the dialogue first and filled in everything else after).
AG: Where did you land? GA: I Am Stuck In A Tree GA: It Is Not Dignified GA: The Branches Are Poking Me GA: The Matriorb Is Okay Though The Future Of Our Race Is Still Assured GA: So GA: You Know GA: Good AG: Stop ram8ling and tell me where you are! I don't like the look of these woods. GA: How Can You Not Like The Woods Isnt Your Lusus Literally A Giant Spider That Eats People GA: Are You Not By Definition The Scariest Thing In Any Given Set Of Woods GA: Oh No A Spider Troll Come To Feed Me To Her Enormous Monster Parent GA: Isnt That You GA: And Yes Of Course I Am Rambling I Go On Like This When Im Nervous GA: For Some Reason Dropping Through A Weird Glitch In The Side Of A Hill Into A Wood That Wasnt There A Moment Before Has Put Me A Little On Edge
Little Blue Heart was written for Homestuck Rare-pair Swap 2014. It's a Rose/Vriska story set a while after the end of Homestuck (which is a thing that hadn't happened yet when I wrote it) when the characters are adults and finally old enough to fuck up their own lives without any outside assistance. It contains the only sex scene I've ever written.
Your name is Rose Lalonde, and something inside you makes it rain.
A reporter came out to the house a few weeks ago looking for a story in the stormclouds that persist over Rainbow Falls, but what was there to say about it except, it's always raining? She asked questions; you lied. She got some footage you doubt ever made it to TV. You deliberately wore a borderline-offensive shirt for the interview, not because you thought it would make them omit you from any potential broadcast—pixelization is a thing, after all—but merely to express your feelings on the whole process.
When she left for the last time, Kanaya told you that your growing contempt for other humans was an unbecoming quality, that your whole attitude towards people and the planet you ended up on was evidence of a bruise on your soul she was on the verge of giving up trying to heal. Things could have been so much worse, she'd said; you could, after all, have all reincarnated on a recreation of Alternia! You shouted back that that would have been better because maybe some troll there would have been willing to take you apart and find out what's wrong with you, and that was what prompted her to slam the front door on her way out. It still doesn't close properly.
Kanaya's staying in town, for now, and occasionally pops up on Pesterchum. She worries. You wish she'd go further away.
But it's true; something inside you makes it rain. The weather responds to your moods as if auditioning for a horror movie, and in the lightning flashes of your anxiety attacks you see writhing shadows in the forest, reaching for the clouds. They match the wriggling and itching under your skin, and what began as a creeping dread grew in the weeks of your solitude into a horrified certainty: when your head aches and the storm breaks the sky in half above you, you feel them as the limbs of something that crawled inside you long ago.
You can put a name to its tendrils, to the things curled around your spine, to the smoke that gathers in your head: horrorterror.
You are almost insulted to be so comprehensively invaded by something with such a stupid, stupid name.
Skylighter was written for When Worlds Collide: Crossover Fanwork Exchange, and is a Homestuck/Pacific Rim crossover. It's also kind of rushed, but it's okay.
AG: This is the 8est one yet! CG: YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT. IT'S ALWAYS THE BEST ONE YET AND JAEGER PILOTS ARE ALWAYS 'ULTIM8 8ADASSES' AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE A PILOT ONE DAY. AG: Yeah, just as soon as I find someone awesome enough to Drift with me. AG: And none of that ever stops 8eing a thing that is true. Look at that punch! CT: D –> This is e%traordinarily gratifying GA: Yes Oh My Goodness I Am Enthralled GA: Left Hook Right Hook Oh My CG: YOU'VE BEEN PRACTICING SARCASM AGAIN, HAVEN'T YOU? GA: I Dont Know What You Mean CG: SOLLUX SHOULD NEVER HAVE MADE THAT INTERDIMENSIONAL TRANSCEIVER, ALL IT GETS USED FOR IS APPALLING HORNLESS ALIEN SOAP OPERAS AND DEPRESSINGLY PERSISTENT BONE-POLISHING OVER ALIEN PORNOGRAPHY. TA: hey fuck you. TA: iif the iimperiial navy ii2 goiing to hang a hiighly 2ophii2tiicated panuniiver2al trackiing 2y2tem diirectly over our head2 they 2hould equiip iit wiith a better 2ecuriity 2y2tem and 2taff iit wiith troll2 capable of fiindiing theiir 2hame globe2 wiithout a map.
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shittylove · 3 years
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Todays his birthday. Todays been a week that we saw each other for the first time in months. Todays the day i realize I wanna fall in love with him again. I’m on Reddit reading about Scorpio and Sagittarius together. Everything everyone is saying is me and him. The way I excite his life even when we’re just sitting together in bed. The way he brings stability and certainty into my life like no one ever has. The fact that even after everything that’s happened he’s still madly in love w me. Idk what I did to have someone so amazing still want to be with me after all the fucked up unforgivable things I’ve done. He still choices to forgive it bc he doesn’t wanna know life without me. In a big way it really scares me because it reminds me so much of my dad and mom. Him a Scorpio and even to this day believing that she’s the love of his life. And her the Sagittarius already moved on and leaving him behind without looking back. It sounds so much like us but I hope it’ll never be our future. Almost 10 years and you still pick me. Almost 10 years and I still love being involved with you. I really don’t know what our future will be, but I hope it works out. I understand I have to drop my feelings for someone I was building a connection with. It sucks but there wasnt too much to begin with anyway. I’m also so scared of falling stray again. Idk if I won’t leave again I really don’t. I don’t wanna hurt you anymore you’ve never deserved it. The future for once is scaring me on how it’ll turn out.. but I have no choice but to see what’s up. Stay by my side 🥺♥
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oflgtfol · 6 years
Text
passengers (2016) had the potential to be such a good movie but it was written in such a wrong way and it just wound up being shitty and gross........
im in such a ranty mood lately so yeah. this is long and probably incoherent so its under a read more
like if they wrote it from aurora’s perspective it couldve been such a cool space horror film. im not a big film buff so idk but i rarely see space horror moves? i see it more often in literature. but even then most space horror stories are all like, aliens and shit, but space is so vast and interesting, space horror has the capacity to be so unique and different from normal horror... aliens are basically just the demons and monsters on earth just in a different setting
space horror stories that really get me - the ones that really fucking chill me to the bone, that actually succeed in creeping me out - are always the ones that focus on being alone. space is so isolating, its so completely different from earth, like out there you are the loneliest you will ever be. you can be lonely in your bedroom but ultimately you’re on a planet with 7 billion other people, but in space, there is no one around for millions, billions, trillions of miles, hundreds and thousands of light years. you cannot get to safety. you are stuck in your situation whether you like it or not and nobody will come to help you. nobody will even know.
if your situation takes the wrong turn, then you will well and truly die alone in a way that nobody else has ever experienced before. its such a chilling concept and its completely realistic too, like i will always come back to the first moon landing when discussing this. nobody knew whether they could get the astronauts back to earth. they went down to the surface with no certainty that this place wouldnt be their deathbeds. they were the first 2 people to ever step foot on the moon, to ever step foot on a surface that wasn’t earth. if they couldnt get back up, then they would also be the first 2 people to die there, to die on a place that wasnt earth. it fucks me up so bad. so space horror is also so chilling because its plausible, this is the unknown we’re exploring and everything is new. everything in space is so far apart, its so lonely, and that fact remains true whether you’re talking about real life space travel or an event in fiction, which makes it feel way more genuine that regular horror. horror that deals with the supernatural loses that realism and it feels fake, like that wont happen to me because monsters and demons just dont exist
so you could take this conflict, one between humans, and put it into space? it becomes even more horrifying
with a horror movie set on earth dealing with a kidnapping, you root for the protagonist, for them to escape, for them to kill their captor if they must, and no matter how helpless the situation may seem you root for them because all they need to do is have access to phone to call 911, or grab that hammer and their problems are over, or kick their captor in the groin and make a break for the street. the helplessness from this story is that freedom is so close, yet so far
a horror movie set in space dealing with a kidnapping? the victim is stuck there no matter what. they can kill their captor. they could send a distress call. they could reach an escape pod and make a break for it. but no matter what, they are still stuck in space. you are so utterly isolated that a distress call could take years upon years upon eons to reach anyone who could possibly answer, and an escape pod would take even longer unless it can go at light speed
so the horror of the situation with space horror is that everything is up to you, and if you fail? its over.
with passengers though, its not that simple. because there its not just “up to you,” it is just utterly futile. jim took aurora out of her pod and no matter what she does will change that. her situation is irreversible
(i havent seen it in a while but i know towards the end there was that emergency pod, but uhm. did she even know about it until jim told her about it? yeah. that adds to the horror of it)
the film however. is written from jim’s perspective. the film deals with this isolation a bit at the beginning which i had actually enjoyed in that kinda sick oh no feeling that space horror like this always gives me. it was interesting to actually see it depicted in a movie! i’ve only read about this kinda situation in a written story in only one book, but im sure theres more out there, but either way it was novel for me
and the temptation of opening aurora’s pod is what adds to it. its either you go fucking insane because you live out the next few decades with no other human contact, you kill yourself, or you open up someone else and suffer with someone else by your side, but thats the BAD route and now you’re a horrible person. its a serious moral question! you go a whole year of being utterly, completely alone with absolutely zero human contact, but you are surrounded by other humans. its fucking painful. i cant even imagine that
i respect that portion of the film! i do! but then he opens up aurora’s pod. and it suddenly becomes a romance movie, and continues to be framed in jim’s perspective. bad move.
if we took out jim’s spiraling descent to opening up aurora’s pod, and started the film with her waking up, frame it as a romance movie, it could be really good. the reveal where she found out he is the reason shes awake, he’s the one who robbed her of life, her potential, her everything she ever knew. he’s stranded her in the middle of nowhere for the sole reason of keeping him company
the sheer impact of this revelation is lost because the movie is in jim’s perspective. we already sympathize with him due to the beginning. he was introduced first, and his suffering was obvious, so we look at aurora and its almost like we should think well thats all well and good but poor jim! but jim had the comfort that at least him waking up was just a random event. aurora was woken up because he was awake. if he was still asleep, then so would she, and she would still have her life and future. and even if someone was still randomly woken up, if it wasnt jim of all people, then she would most likely still be awake too. its all the horrible circumstances intersecting and she got caught in the crossfires due to him succumbing to his situation.
now i’m not saying that jim is evil. no one has ever been in this situation before. i really don’t know what the fuck i’d do and i don’t think anybody knows what they would do either until they were in his shoes. it’s all morally ambiguous and it’s just shitty all around - but ultimately, it was a horrible horrible decision that ruined another person’s life. he was directly responsible for her losing everything. and the fact that he hides this from her? is even fucking worse. it’s understandable, but my god is it BAD
and in making this a romance movie. the horror of aurora’s situation is just lost! because our goal is to see them kiss and fall in love by the end of the movie, so the audience isn’t meant to look to harshly at jim. he suffers no real consequences for his actions. and ultimately it is a romance, because jim ~sacrifices himself~ and aurora realizes that hey we’re gonna be here for the rest of our fucking lives, i might as well enjoy it. which is a shit attitude to have in a relationship of any kind by the way!
but by framing this as a horror movie, aurora could be wayy more sympathetic to the audience. the romantic angle when she first wakes up would feel insidious, and we would feel the betrayal when it’s revealed that jim is the reason she woke up. jim would be the villain obviously, and the moral ambiguity of his decision to wake her up would make him a relatable villain, but it would still hold him accountable for what he’s done. i just think the end product would be a lot more poignant than it was as a romance movie
and now to wrap it up, here’s my ideas on how to do it: film starts with aurora on earth before she’s about to leave, talking to all her friends and talking about how much she wants to go to this other planet, how great of an opportunity it would be. she boards the ship and goes under. and then within a few seconds, she’s waking up. the waking up scene is framed the same way jim’s was, and not from the side from jim’s perspective like it was in the actual movie. we get to see all her confusion and exhaustion from her perspective. once she’s acclimated or whatever, she’s futzing around the ship when jim stumbles upon her, acting all confused and excited to see another person, and its so genuine that nobody, including aurora, is any wiser that he’s the cause of it. then its all the romance shit, and falling in love, its fun, she’s like “oh my god it sucks that we’re stuck like this and we’re gonna die alone” and they comfort each other, yadda yadda, its meant to build trust between them and between the audience and jim. maybe theres a few scenes peppered in that build suspense like, wtf is going on, but ultimately the Jim Trust scenes kinda turn us/her away from that. but then its aurora talking to the robot guy and the robot guy lets it slip that jim was the one to wake her. it zooms into her face, and in the background you can see jim, all dark and blurred, looming over her. she goes to cry in her room or whatever, like she did in the movie, and its like flashes on previous scenes but now all the little hints to it make sense
anyway i dont have many more ideas just that at the end jim tells her about the extra pod and she goes in, and jim... hm.. maybe its vague.. maybe he lives out the rest of his days and he’s the one to leave the plants behind, maybe he died while sacrificing himself, idk. im not a horror writer. something to humanize jim, that this could’ve been anyone making this shitty decision while emotionally compromised, but still makes it clear that he was in the wrong, very in the wrong
the romance in the actual movie felt, like, poisoned because of what he did, and it rubbed me very wrong that they picked it back up all bc he was willing to die at the end to fix the spaceship. if anything, they should’ve only been friends. idk. actually focusing on aurora and her perspective feels like it could’ve taken the film in a much more interesting turn than just “standard het couple gets together in the end despite the girl being hurt by the guy” like every. fucking. movie.
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tumblunni · 7 years
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OH MAN HOLY SHIT IM FINALLY GETTING TO READ THE NEXT VOLUME OF SHOULDER-A-COFFIN KURO
man it was really fucking sweet that  bunch of friends the travellers made in earlier chapters helped nurse Kuro back to health after [the spoily bad thing] happened
and I TOTALLY FELL FOR the misdirect in the opening chapter! this series often has out-of-order flashbacks just casually thrown in, so i assumed this was them taking a break from the sad ‘will kuro be okay’ stuff to show us one of her pas adventrues, especially cos she was alone without nijiku and sanju. But NOPE this is her dream while she’s sleeping, and all the people she just helped move on to their next journey are actually all already dead and she was giving them hope for stuff they never really managed to achieve. Like HOLY SHIT when the last person she saw was a glimpse of an actual alive person and then she steps off the train and wakes up?? And you only realize it cos she says ‘But I thought his eyes were getting better’ about the last guy Kuro met, who had that head injury from the war, and its like ‘but he’s right there? why are you saying ‘I was too late’- OH GOD HOLY SHIT’. Like seriously, was he on the way to go home and died on the train and then she was there at the station and had to see it, after she’d waited for him for so long and just AAAAA. And like, if Kuro is briefly visiting the afterlife and having a choice to take the death train because she’s in this paralyzing moment of depression, is that why the lady was there too? Did Kuro accidentally save her from comitting suicide to be with him? Its really fuckin’ good luck that they were able to cross paths in this dreamworld and she could pass on his last words. But also its REALLY DEPRESSING that her telling him to ‘take the train home’ is like.. thats what he was trying to do when he was on the brink of death, and being unable to do it is why he stayed here waiting in this afterlife train station, hoping against hope that he’d somehow be able to actually see his hometown and his girlfriend again, when the only option he had was a far more depressing journey to take. So even though its good that kuro helped him be able to pass on instead of being in pain, but still, would he have actually been able to talk to his girlfriend if he’d waited just a few minutes more??? god this mysterious dream is so confusing and tantalizing aaaaaa it would be a really good way to kill my heart if we actually meet the girlfriend character in the real world later on and see how she’s getting her life back together after his death or if we meet more relatives of the dead folks we saw in that dream
ALSO its really good that Kuro is battling her suicidal inclinations now and actually feeling like she wants to live, because of these lil kids but at the same time its tragic cos she’s still got this deadly plague thats gonna kill her anyway, and its like.. having hope makes it hurt more and OH GOD the line about how she’s decided the new purpose of her journey is to ‘make a new path for them to follow when I’m gone’ she’s decided that instead of having to choose between them and her goal, its just gonna be that if she fails and ends up dying she just wants to have taught them enough to survive on their own afterwards. she could still feel her story was completed if it ends with her having given these kids a new life, even if she never finds out who the witch was or how to stop the curse. OH GOD I CRY SO MUCH FOR THIS WEIRD LITTLE FAMILY
and then OH MAN the mysterious flashback too! that was a good misdirect without even being a twist, sorta?? there’s no big revelation moment and knowing the thing doesnt really change anything, and honestly it makes me feel a bit ‘whoops i should have figured it out straight away’ lol Its a really cool way of delivering a stealth backstory for Sen! Cos we never saw his face in human form before, we kinda were expecting it to continue being shadowed or at least be revealed in some sort of actual reveal scene. but nope, we just get introduced to apparantly some new character who’s a loner prince everyone thinks is a vampire, and then WHOOPS it was sen all along! (also LOL DUDE YOU’LL BE A VAMPIRE IN LIKE FIVE SECONDS, DONT WORRY) And its so obvious in retrospect, we even see that he has a lil girl as his apprentice and he's like ‘just call me sensei, i dont want you to get attatched to me’. But she looks completely different to Kuro so at most I just thought ‘oh it’ll be some sort of analogy or moral to the main story or something’. And then seriously there is NO INSIGHT TO ANYTHING and no explanation of what happened to them or why, its just horribly shocking both to them and the audience. We just get some disconnected cute 4-koma adventures of flashback kuro and sen, revealing a little of how they first met, and then literally kuro just turns around the corner and the panels dissolve into horrifying shadowy hands that tear her apart as she begs sen not to touch her or he’ll be cursed too. AND IT JUST ENDS Like seriously, there wasnt even a STORY to the witch cursing them?? she just appeared in their house one day?? she was fuckin lurking in the library and cursed the first person she made eye contact with???? and sen got dragged into it too cos he was trying to save the poor kid, after all these panels of him being cynical jerk saying he doesn’t care about her, and just.. *SOB*
But actually, I’m wondering why his curse was so much different compared to the formula we’ve seen for every other case of it? its always been this one same disease that makes you rot apart into shadow stuff until you die. Why did he turn into 1000 bats instead? A random theory: maybe he actually did die, and this isn’t really the same curse as kuro’s, this is something that happened to him to save him. The first time we saw the curse in action was from that kid who innocently talked to the witch and wished to use magic too, so maybe it like.. actually is that? Maybe this curse is a literal granting of the wish, maybe this is how she passes on her powers and it just kills people who arent worthy, or something. So i dunno, maybe Kuro has some degree of witch magic locked away deep inside her rotting heart now, and she subconciously used it to save Sen’s life by cursing him with this different curse? that could be A Good Depressing Twist later, cos it could mean that if Kuro gets cured, Sen will die. And I mean, it would explain why Kuro doesnt know she has witch powers, maybe the constant upkeep of maintaining Sen’s spell is taking up all her energy, or something? We never get to see if Mo actually got her wish for magic powers in that terrifying flashback, we just see how she started dying of the shadow plague and then how Kuro found her on the last day of her life and they became friends and then HER LEGS FUCKING FELL OFF AND CRUMBLED INTO DUST AND HER EYE FELL OUT OF HER HEAD and then kuro’s last scrap of optimism died and she decided to carry Mo’s coffin forever out of certainty that the curse would indeed kill her, her quest would fail, and she’d better be prepared for her own funeral And like, when i first read that chapter I thought that this was where Kuro got the curse?? I thought it was contagious from touch or something and by giving Mo a bit of peace on her deathbed she’d picked it up from her. (Though that wouldnt explain why nobody’s ever got infected from interacting with kuro throughout the rest of the story, so it was a bit confusing.) But now we know that apparantly Kuro got the disease way earlier and Mo was just the closest clue she’s ever got to finding the witch again, and a horrible vision of the future that will await her when her curse finishes its course. It makes the whole chapter way more depressing, cos you know the whole time she was suffering from the same disease and she just didnt wanna ruin Mo’s hope that she’d met some cool traveller who was totally gonna go on and live a long life of all the adventures she wanted to have. GODDDD THIS SERIESSSS
and okay seriously THE WORST BIT THAT DESTROYED ME is that we find out the evil witch who did this to both of them is actually the same person as the apaprantly good witch we saw in an earlier chapter who befriended those kids and had a badass retort to the asshole guy and just was really cool?? And its even more depressing if she isnt really evil at all and maybe somehow thinks what she’s doing is helping? she was really innocent in that first chapter and didnt seem to know much about humans. So like.. who did she meet? What did she do? Who taught her something very VERY wrong in the time between that flashback and now? is this just the result of some small shred of her old self left, her wanting to ‘help’ more children...? Cos actually it was kind of a big hint in that chapter, she said ‘i will give you one of my voices’ when she taught that kid how to read as ‘payment’ for him helping her learn what a ‘witch’ is, and that she can be a good one if she wants to. So I mean.. is this just her trying to more literally give part of herself to others to help them, not knowing that it’s hurting them, or maybe being so twisted now that she doesnt even care? ITS SO DEPRESSING! Its funny how I loved and trusted this literal eldritch abomination I saw in this chapter goofily dressing herself up in people clothes and practising pick-up lines, and how terrified I was of what I assumed was a perfectly normal human witch who hurt these poor children. But now its even more depressing if we have this strange nonhuman creature who everyone treated as evil, who was good at heart, who made her first friend, who had so much futrue ahead of her, and then just SOMETHING has happened that sent her down the path of becoming that evil thing everyone said she was in the beginning...
Oh and also i really like the theory I saw that she’s another alchemy experiment of the professor who created Nijiku and Sanju? Cos people call her ‘Hifumi’ and thats a name that can mean a number, same as those two. And it might maybe explain why the professor died in the first place. We just hear him saying he has to finish something before he can allow them out of their cage, and then he never comes back down that staircase ever again, and kuro sees some other empty cage next to his body... Oh and also WHY DONT YOU JUST FUCK ME UP, FINAL CHAPTER IN THIS VOLUME, HOLY SHITTTT It actually fits A LOT with this theory... The last chapter has Sanju accidentally horribly injuring a kitten she was trying to hold, and being terrified because it cant just be stitched together like a toy, or.. well, like herself. We see a flashback of how the twins would break a lot back when they were first created, and the professor would just stitch back Sanju’s one arm that kept rotting off. And they’re like.. kinda terrifyingly eldritch too, more than just simple lil kids who can shapeshift into animals. There was that earlier flashback about how they took a long time to adjust to having physical bodies, and used to phase through walls like ghosts until the professor explained how a cage is supposed to work. Like... only being limited by the laws of reality once they hear them spoken aloud. And apparantly they sat sleeping in those alchemy tubes for a long time and might have even like.. slowly developed into humanoid forms, they might have been some sort of visually terrifying thing in their newborn state. We the audience know that they’re just the same as any other innocent kid in personality, that they’re good kiddos no matter how they were born. But then sometimes we get reminded of their actual origins, and how they’d be potentially VERY dangerous in the wrong hands. And like.. even now we’ve just had a really sad reminder how they can be dangerous even when they’re being raised as normal kids by our kind protagonist, how just forgetting that they lack something that normal humans have can lead to this traumatic experience of one of them killing a small animal and not understanding that it cant be fixed, gAAAAAAHHHH :( Also the associated flashback was REALLY FUCKED UP, holy shit! you see the professor talking about redesigning their next beta with a sense of pain, so they stop accidentally breaking themselves, and apparantly he only managed to finish that modification to nijiku before he died. or, perhaps he only intended to give it to one of them, and is having this creepy detatched view of them where he can think ‘hey I’ll deliberately leave one broken to act as a test case’. that would actually fit a lot with the subtle stuff we know, like how apparantly when they were first born they’d randomly grow and de-grow and fluctuate everything between humanoid and animallike. And he notes how Sanju’s hair always returns to a long length whenever its cut, and just... like, he didnt fix that in her but it seems like Nijiku doesnt have the same problem? Does this mean that he actually did give nijiku a bunch of extra features and not fix mistakes that were hindering sanju, that he’s been doing that from the very beginning? I just thought it was maybe that nijiku never had the same hair problem, but I mean it seems like they started off identical in every other way. God I hope its not gonna be revealed that the prof never loved them at all and he was an abusive dad :(
GAHHH THIS MYSTERIOUS GODDAMN MANGA WITH NO ANSWERS FOR ANYTHING AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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androidincubus · 8 years
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12,13,14,28,39,40,52,63,69,88,107,161
Sorry this got eaten the first time.  Here we go again. hope it works12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better?: I dont ask a particular question. I mostly talk about shared interests and fandoms and see how things go from there. If we don’t pick up from there then things end and I know we tried but dont have much in common13: Favourite word? : Likely it would be ‘Indeed’ since I say it a lot, I probably have a more poignant word somewhere that is a favorite with more meaning but I certainty say Indeed enough14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them?: I did forgive them, yes. I wasnt sure if things would get better but they did  28: Something I miss?:   I miss my body from about 4 years ago. if that counts. In some ways I am happier with the body I have now, but also part of me has regrets. so its a trade off,  but hopefully I will get to a even better place soon enough39: Am I superstitious? : I am not particularly. But I don’t discredit anything. i believe it is possible and there are things i do not know. But I can’t say I hold fast to superstitious beliefs either40: What do I think about most? : Its a downer but loss, fearful worries about the future. I worry a lot about losing the ones I love, mostly my parents and my close friends. I think about my inability to stand on my own feet and the pain I will feel at losing them . I worry about their deaths at least once a day and have since I was about 3, its tough but im trying to face it best I can each time.  its something hopefully I will have prepared myself enough for when I do finally lose them.52: When do I feel most at peace?: At home, resting and not doing too much, just spending time with my family. or close friends, sometimes even just alone ... but relaxing and not thinking too much, getting caught up in my mind is what causes me to be in a state of unease so having a break from it is freeing63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? : I wanted to be a lot of things, doctor, ballerina .. I wanted like 11 kids before i knew HOW someone had kids and you didnt go to the baby store69: What do I admire most about others?: At first? their looks, I am a envy machine. but on a deeper level I appreciate individuality and sense of self and kindness is also a bonus!88: What makes me really angry? : prequel hate..lol but no on a deeper level, I hate anyone who things hating something that is popular makes them ‘cool’ I hate bigotry and close mindedness. I hate when people cant discuss something and only debate to hear themselves talk.. I hate a lot of things which probably isn’t the best for me so ..something to work on?107: Guilty pleasure? : Eh probably food, i am not big on food to be honest but i am not nice to myself when I do eat certain things/amounts so its a ‘guilty pleasure’ most other things I dont feel guilt over but eating is a tough one... and one needs to eat to live. :/161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? : I have only had one. Many people likely have died in my old house, one being my grandmother. A music box that used to be hers one day just started playing on its own. I can say maybe something set it off but really I have no rational explanation for why 
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PIN’s: The Future of Private Link Building
1,116 Comments 20 minutes
What I’m going to reveal in this blog post is a strategy that will likely weed out a certain section of the ViperChill audience. In other words, I’m fully aware that this blog post will make a particular type of person unsubscribe from ViperChill and likely never return. It’s certainly not going to end up on the homepage of Inbound.org.
If you are loyal to Google guidelines, the teachings of blogs like Moz and love playing by the book, then you’ll probably realise with this article that we possess a very different perspective. When I first started my internet journey – where I spent day and night trying to make a living online – I tried and tested more website ideas and angles than you would believe.
Today, I’m still pushing the boundaries to see what works. These boundaries most often pertain to SEO, since it’s what I’ve enjoyed the most over the last 11 years.
I’m in the fortunate position that my business it not tied to some employer who dictates how I have to do things when it comes to promoting web properties. As such, I’m always willing to ignore everything I previously thought about marketing and to be open to new ideas and opportunities.
This blog post details one such opportunity, but I realise it will not be for everyone. Not everyone is the position to implement it for their online business, and even if you are, you may question the ethics of what is coming up.
With that disclaimer out of the way, today I’m going to introduce you to the world of PIN’s. Just before I do that, I want to talk about why I think they’re necessary.
I Predict We’ve Got Four to Five Years Left to ‘Do SEO’ As We Know It
This isn’t some “SEO is Dead” article you see go viral in the SEO blogosphere every six months, but a genuine prediction based on how Google search results have evolved over the last few years.
Google make all of their money via ads so quite simply want more people to click on them (and more often). The less success people have with SEO, the more likely they are to move to Google’s advertising platform.
Long gone are the days when we’re presented with just 10 blue links on a page.
The White Space Between Search Results Has Increased
It’s known that the higher up the page a search result, the more clicks it will receive. Therefore, when organic search results are pushed further down the page they’re going to be receiving fewer and fewer clicks. Not only are they lower down now in mobile results due to spacing, but the change is being tested across desktop results as well.
The search result on the left includes the new extra spacing with the ads taking up far more vertical space than the search result on the right (graphic via SEMPost).
There Are More ‘Featured Snippets’ Than Ever Before
There isn’t much to say on this one besides feature snippets are to be found for millions of search queries in every industry imaginable. What, when, how and why questions are often answered with a featured snippet box.
This not only pushes ‘organic’ search results further down in search results, it also attempts to give you the answer right from the results page. We can argue whether or not it’s useful for searchers, but for SEO’s, it gives new meaning to having the top result in Google.
‘Map Packs’ Completely Changed Local Search Results
Some call them ‘map packs’, some ‘the local pack’ and some even call them the ‘snack pack’. Whatever your term of choice, after being introduced a few years ago SEO’s have been trying to figure out how to get themselves and their clients into the pack to compensate for a lack of expected search results.
After all, these local listings take up a large portion of screen real estate.
I’m not complaining about this change; I’m simply pointing it out. There’s no doubt it makes search results more useful and that is Google’s aim (usually) after all. While Google did reduce the listings from seven to three back in August of 2015, the redesign of the listings with adding spacing means not much changed in terms of organic results being seen.
Those Map Packs Now Contain Ads, Too
We’re not going back to Google updates of a few years ago to make a point about Google evolving. Just last month Google announced that the map / local / snack pack would now include ads, as shown below.
This image is a mockup by Barry Schwartz, though the real thing looks very similar
It’s interesting to follow both PPC and SEO guys on Twitter and see the difference in reaction. PPC guys are over the moon since it gives them more traffic opportunities for their clients and SEO guy’s, well…I’m sure you can guess the reaction.
Based on how Google’s past, it’s not one of surprise.
They Have All The Answers
The knowledge graph was released in May of 2012 and it’s almost disappointing when you don’t see it for queries when looking for quick answers. For example, when I want to see how my football team, Newcastle, have fared against Liverpool, I literally don’t have to click anywhere.
Whether you want to learn about how old someone is, what 12 x 56 is or who discovered Radium, Google has the results right there for you. As a searcher, I love these quick answers, but as an SEO, it’s just one more thing which has lessened the likelihood of people clicking on my website if it doesn’t appear in this box.
They Continue to Make People Scared of Link Building
Google are great at making people fearful of performing any type of SEO. After all, this was the company that introduced the rel=”nofollow” attribute so we could link out to websites without giving them “link juice”.
That isn’t the real headline for the article – I’ve got to have some fun in these serious posts – but Google have publicly cracked down on pretty much everything when it comes to link building. The list includes, but is not limited to:
Guest posting for links
Using directories for links
Utilising private blog networks
Adding links to website themes
Adding do-followed links to widgets
They literally created a ‘no-follow’ tag
That’s not all; they openly share how much human intervention is involved in finding people abusing the guidelines, rather than algorithmic. This tweet speaks volumes.
Anglo Rank was a small network being promoted on the Black Hat World forums.
Just think about this for a second. One of Google’s first employees (and former Head of Web Spam), worth millions of dollars, dedicated his time to actively targeting a tiny little network on some private forum just to scare other people away from doing the same.
The simple fact is that Google can’t figure out with absolutely certainty which links are earned, or bought, or manipulative, very effectively.
Now I’m not taking anything away from Google here. Their company is worth hundreds of billions and mine, well…isn’t. They have undoubtedly created the world’s most sophisticated search engine.
But as I said earlier, it’s far easier for them to get us to police ourselves than it is for them to police us.
Big Brands Dominate the Long Tail
As SEO becomes increasingly difficult and searches are more and more dominated by big brands, the long tail will be the final frontier of search traffic opportunities.
When I said we only have a few years left to do SEO as we know it, the long tail will be where the majority of SEO’s focus their time through on-site SEO changes and content marketing.
While we’ll still have opportunities for SEO to ‘work’, long tail search results just don’t seem to be as diverse as they were in the past. It makes sense to me that Google have some kind of ‘filter’ whereby if they’re not sure what to list for a search result, they simply show more results from an authoritative site to be on the safe side.
Logically, this makes sense, but as an SEO, it could be a worrying sign of things to come. You can see this lack of diversification above in my screenshot of the map packs as well, with Yelp dominating the first three organic search results.
The Lack of Diversity in Search Results Will Only Get Worse
If you’ve only found ViperChill recently then it was likely because of my recent article, How 16 Companies Are Dominating the World’s Google Search Results. It has been shared thousands of times on social media and been read over 40,000 times, making it one of the most popular articles I’ve ever written here.
In the article I highlighted how Hearst Media were using their brands like Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan and Woman’s Day to point footer links to a new website of theirs, BestProducts.com.
That strategy, which would get the rest of us penalised, continues to work incredibly well.
“Just follow the Google guidelines.” Why?
Since that post, I was also contacted by a few people associated with the brands I had featured. One of those people I talked with was Tre who works in the growth department of About.com. I had already mentioned in the article how About planned to spin off into many more verticals over the coming months, which he confirmed.
I admit I’m being a little pedantic with my highlighting, but when you’re Director of Growth for About.com you’re going to share which terms are driving traffic to one site with the team that is in charge of another.
I appreciate Tre’s replies and I’m sure there’s only so much he can say, but About.com’s real goal with their spin-off’s is to no doubt own ten search results, instead of one.
PIN’s: My Version of Fighting Back While I Still Can
When I talked about why I started using private link networks and then continued to use them after Google’s “crackdown”, my primary reason was very simple: Writing quality content and getting ‘whitehat’ links wasn’t working for me. I was being outranked by people with crappy link networks who could build their own ‘relevant’ links on a whim and I decided to fight back.
You could view PIN’s in a similar light. I am utilising them because we’re not competing on a fair playing field, and what is supposed to work is very rarely what ranks, at least in the industries that I operate in.
While I don’t wish to reveal those exact industries, let me give you an example closer to home, with ViperChill.
I will say in advance that this is a search term I really don’t care about ranking for. I have no idea how many times it’s searched for each month and honestly, I doubt it gets many searches at all.
Here are the search results for the query, ‘Future of blogging’.
My site is usually either in 10th or 11th for that term, yet by every SEO standard metric I should be number one.
I have more links to the page ranking than anyone else
I have more ‘domain authority’ than most other pages
My title tag seems more relevant than half of them
Yet in order to get more traffic for this search term, which I think I ‘deserve’ from a 10,000 word article which took me weeks to put together, all I have to do is one thing.
It’s not getting more links. It’s not improving my on-site SEO. It’s not building better connections with influencers.
All I need to do to get my traffic back is to add a sentence to the start of the article which says ‘Last updated: July 25th 2016‘.
This is a search result where how recent an article was posted is more important than whether it’s actually a good page to rank.
I don’t actually have to update the article; I literally just need to make it appear to Google – thanks to that one sentence – that my article was updated recently. This one sentence, this ‘trick’, would bring me back the ranking I feel I deserve. (Though, again, I doubt this even gets searched for. It’s just an example).
This is not theory. If you look at the first sentence of my WordPress SEO guide that’s exactly what I’ve done before, with great results.
This little change is not too dissimilar to what I need to rank in other industries. I don’t need better on-site SEO. I don’t need to build natural links from relevant sites through content marketing. I simply need to add more domains to my private link network and write more guest blog posts.
Yes, these are both tactics that are looked down upon by Google, but they still work incredibly well. In 2014 when I covered Google’s crackdown on private blog networks I did mention that they would now be less likely to care about private link networks.
In my exact words:
What I expect to happen is that Google will ease off looking into private networks. The damage is mostly done.
Why? Because they’ve already made people scared to build them. The best way to deal with people trying to game the system is essentially making us as a community police ourselves so we don’t try to game the system in the first place.
The continued use of private link networks and guest posting for SEO is part of the reason why I will get a lot of criticism from this post. How to implement these tactics more effectively, which I’ll talk about later, will be the larger reason for criticism.
The Approach to Take
One of the first ideas I had when I started out online was to assemble a team of people who could work together to build a huge website. At the time I was following the growth of TechCrunch and Mashable and saw how quickly they were able to grow thanks to having a team of writers.
My idea was to essentially connect a team of people who all worked on one website and in return everyone had a percentage ownership. The logic being that working as a team would result in the site growing faster and even if revenue or a sale price was split, we would have more success than working on our own.
It’s a similar idea a number of ViperChill readers had after reading my last article on the small number of brands dominating Google search results.
While it’s a nice idea, in theory it doesn’t work so well.
Some will want to dictate the direction of a site that others don’t agree with and more importantly, some people will put in far more work than others. If you’re writing more content than others and your articles are getting better traction, you’re going to want to increase your ownership compared to someone barely putting in any effort.
There is another option you can utilise if you wish to team up with others though, and that’s a PIN.
It comes with all of the benefits of creating your own team, without the downsides of worrying about who is contributing what work.
What the Hell is a PIN?
A PIN is a play on the acronym PBN, which is commonly referred to as a private blog or link network.
I’ve received my fair share of critics over the years for talking about PBN’s and their success – and continuing to build them – but there’s a reason I do: They work.
I simply don’t believe that playing by Google’s rules is always going to get me the results I want. In some industries I wouldn’t make the money I do without them. I don’t use them for clients, but do for my own websites.
Going forward, I think PIN’s are going to be crucial to my success in certain industries, and I think they are going to be crucial to a number of people reading this as well.
PIN, stands for Private Influencer Network.
Before you think that just means making some “friends” online and building up your connections, allow me to continue.
I define a Private Influencer Network as a group of people looking to rank their websites in Google in similar industries (but not the same) who work together to help each other reach their objectives.
Essentially, they use any opportunities they have to build links (such as private blog networks, guest blogging, interviews, blogger round-ups) to send backlinks to other people in their network. In return, other people do the same for them.
The end result is that for the work you would do to build ten backlinks, you can get twenty to forty (of the same quality) in return.
A $100,000/m PIN Operating Right Under Your Nose
I first came across a Private Influencer Network a little over a year ago. A few ‘influencers’ in a particular field were using their private blog networks to – quite simply – link to each other.
I didn’t think much of the tactic at the time, until I found another example of this happening just a few months later.
Then three months after that, I found my third example. This time it really got my attention.
A group of just five people (from what I could tell) were ranking in one of the most profitable industries online and undoubtedly making over $100,000 per month in the process. I operate in the niche, which is how I found their collaboration, and know the numbers very well.
This is when I started working on building my own, PIN.
Finally, the idea to write this blog post came to me when I found yet another PIN. One of the members of this network is one of the most well-known SEO’s on the planet and is reading this article. He already “knows I know.”
If you follow the SEO blogosphere, you’ll undoubtedly know who he is.
One of the sites they are promoting also very likely also makes more than $100,000 per month. I’m not involved in the niche, but I know others who are and with the rankings they have, those numbers wouldn’t surprise me.
I reached out to the owner of the ‘money site’ they had all teamed up to promote. I keep a private database of paid link opportunities and one of them costs more than $10,000 per year. I found their website there, so sent the main owner an email.
One months revenue spent on link building is a small price to pay when you’re doing huge numbers thanks to gaming Google.
While some would view four to five guys linking to each other to make more than $100,000/m from a one-year-old website as shady and unethical, I’m personally impressed at how well they are crushing a very competitive niche so quickly.
While there is a chance that a PIN could be “outed”, the last two examples I found were so well put together that I’m almost certain I was the only person who connected the dots.
If you’re not trying to rank in an obvious industry that’s constantly monitored by SEO’s – like blogging and internet marketing – the chances of your PIN becoming uncovered are relatively low. Much lower than having your private blog network discovered.
As you’ve probably already figured out more succinctly than I am at getting to the point, members of a PIN use any opportunity they have to ‘link out’ to take care of their whole team.
While I’ve been fairly slow on the uptake to building my own PIN, I have been slowly building them in a few industries over the last few months and I’m excited to see what the future holds.
I didn’t want to write this blog post until I had a better understanding of how to build and manage them, because managing them is actually the most time-consuming part.
You have to make sure everyone in the network is pulling their weight and giving (and getting) equal opportunities. Opportunities, of course, is code for links.
A Real-World Example of How a PIN Works
One of the websites I find myself checking for ideas and inspiration is Entrepreneur.com.
I recently found an article on the website, published by a contributor and not a staff member, which could serve as a great example for how PIN’s work.
Let me say it in bold (for those just skimming) that the example below is totally legitimate.
I’m highlighting it because it’s natural, but could have been used in a non-natural way.
While the screenshot below might be the longest ever embedded by me into a blog post, there is something much more important that I have to say about it.
There is no specific reason I have singled out this article. It was simply the first article on Entrepreneur.com when I was looking to give an example for this post. Proof of that is the date. This article is going live on July 25th whereas this article I’m featuring below is from July 22nd.
It just happened to be a great example to see a PIN (or what could be a PIN), in action.
I made the article a little shorter than the original (the screenshot was long enough, I know) but you can see the majority of it here. The first thing you’ll notice is four mentions of Weekdone. Unsurprisingly, these are all links to the company that the author works for.
A good guest article, utilised for a PIN, will link to other recommended resources that are connections of the author. The links should be relevant, but also to other people in your network so that you are ‘owed’ a link back.
Now on the surface (without my large logos stuck over the text) this looks like a totally normal article (albeit with a little overuse of linking back to the authors employer). If you do a little more research, you’ll learn that the other two highlighted companies, Zlien and Mavrck, are actually clients of Weekdone.
In other words, Weekdone likely earn some bonus points from their clients for mentioning them in an article on Entrepreneur.com. I see nothing wrong with this and it’s a one-off occurrence so it’s not done for SEO manipulation; I’m just trying to show how a PIN link looks without actually revealing one.
Essentially everything looks natural until you look under the hood. It’s normal for a client to talk about a company they use, as shown below where the relationship continues.
Once again, I’m not saying they’re doing anything wrong here. It was one of the top articles on Entreprenuer.com as I was finishing up this article (the post is only three days old) and happened to make a good example.
The truth is that Entrepreneur.com, along with Forbes and the business sections of the Huffington Post, are great resources to see mini PIN’s in action. The people who write content for these sites generally try to get as much out of writing for them as possible.
They link to their friends, and their friends link to them.
A PIN in Action
I wanted to create a graphic for this section but your understanding of the concept is far more important than your ability to decipher my poor Photoshop skills. Before it gets a little bit crazy, I have assumed that there are just two ‘influencers’ in your private network.
The yellow box is your money website (the website you wish to rank in Google).
The brown boxes are private blog sites you own (optional).
The grey boxes are link opportunities you’ve created through guest posting or similar.
While the graphic is admittedly not the prettiest (I did warn you), the concept is very simple.
Some of your private network domains will point links to the other influencer in your network, as will some of your guest posts on other websites.
In return, the other influencer will do the same for you.
Once you start adding more people to your network, things get a little bit more messy, but the principle remains the same.
When I try to visualise this with four influencers as part of your PIN it gets a little ugly, but here goes.
The golden rule you need to remember is this: If you receive a link from someone from a specific source, you need to replicate the link in kind.
So if you receive a link in a guest post from someone in the network, you need to give them a link from a guest post you write. Essentially meaning that the work you do for 10 links for yourself gets you 30-40 links in return. This number varies because sometimes it’s a bit risky (such as using blog networks) to link out to the same sites which are linking to you but you still receive more links than you would have without your network, for essentially the same work.
The Types of Links Which Are Shared
I originally tried to write these guidelines as if there were four people in a PIN but it became a little bit too complicated to read (and write). Instead, I’ll assume there are only two people in your PIN and show you what types of links you could generate or other ways to help each other.
If there are more people in your PIN, which I highly recommend, then understand that Influencer #1 will sometimes link to #2, while #4 sometimes links to number #3 and so on. It’s basically just varying the following link opportunities to keep things fair for everyone.
The types of reciprocation that can take place.
You can tweet or Facebook share an article from another influencer
You can retweet or publicly thank another influencer for mentioning you
You can utilise a guest post opportunity to link to a relevant quote or article from another influencer
If you use build private blog networks, you can use some to link to other influencers
If you find articles where comments drive traffic to your site, you can inform other influencers
When being interviewed you can link to a relevant quote or article from another influencer
Sharing link opportunities you find on your site they can utilise for theirs
Offering website design advice
Utilising Web 2.0 properties to give links and get the same in return
If performed properly, there is no reason to hide that you have a connection with other influencers in your niche. The only thing you would have to care about is that the obvious mission for having these connections is to help each other’s search engine rankings.
If you are outside of the internet marketing world you don’t really have to worry about other people finding your private link networks, but always keep a few rules in mind to avoid footprints.
Ready to Build Your Own PIN? Here’s My Advice
If you see the benefits of utilising a PIN for your own search engine rankings, and actually getting more than rankings in return, then here’s my advice for setting one up.
A PIN Must Have a Leader
As I mentioned earlier, I didn’t want to write about this topic until I had attempted to do it myself.
My short but relevant experience tells me that there has to be one person (or two at most) who is in control of the group you gather together to make sure that everyone in the team is pulling their weight.
In other words, you need to make sure that the people who are receiving links are doing their part in giving them as well.
The leader must also make sure that members of the team are active. It’s no use everyone playing along for the first few weeks while the idea is hot and then dropping off the map.
Bringing Together Your Team
While some of you may be excited about getting started on this – and some horrified that I’m even talking about it – there’s one important caveat to keep in mind.
Do not bring anyone into your team who has never shown any self-drive in terms of search engine optimisation.
If someone:
Doesn’t already have a website they wish to rank
Doesn’t regularly produce content for their own sites or others
Doesn’t have at least a basic knowledge of SEO fundamentals
Don’t invite them to be part of your network.
I assumed this would be the case from the start of building my own, but I’m even more sure of it after trying to get other people excited about the idea who weren’t actually willing to contribute to the rest of the teams’ success as a whole.
A simple test to see if someone would be right to join your network is to send a candidate over to this article and have them read about this concept for themselves.
If they don’t immediately “get” the idea and they don’t reply with something like “I can see this working well” then it’s not someone you want on your team.
You shouldn’t have to convince anyone to work with you. They should see it for themselves. If they’re against it because of ethical reasons, then that’s totally fine (and understandable) but again, it’s a sure sign that they’re not someone you want in your team.
As far as communication goes, there are a few platforms out there that would be useful.
You could create a Skype group where people get together. I certainly recommend that everyone get on a call together at least some point to make sure you all understand each other’s roles.
Slack is another good option, as you can keep up to date via their mobile app and have a history of previous agreements.
A private Facebook group is another good option.
Both Slack and Facebook allow there to be a leader who can add or remove members to the network.
The platform is really up to you. My only recommendation is not to lay out all your plans in Google Docs ;).
Take One Step Back from Your Current Niche
It should be obvious but I’ll state it anyway: You don’t want to work with people who are targeting the same keywords as you.
However, you still want to connect with people who are in a relevant niche (I’ll give you the chance to connect with ViperChill readers at the bottom of this post). For instance, if you’re promoting your real estate website then it makes sense to team up with other realtors, just not for the same region.
If you’re in the weight loss niche then it makes sense to collaborate and grow your audience with other people in that niche, but target different keywords and / or promote different types of products and services.
Whatever niche you’re in, imagine you’re shopping for that specific industry on Amazon but go back one category to find people to work with. Again, I’ll give you the opportunity to find PIN partners at the end of this article.
Footprints are Hard to Find, But Still Be Careful
From the PIN’s I’ve discovered and the ones I’m working on myself, I’ve found you really don’t have to be too careful when it comes to leaving some kind of footprint. After all, it doesn’t ring any alarm bells when Copyblogger keeps mentioning Problogger or Mashable keep linking to TechCrunch. It’s “natural” and something you can expect from the owners of websites who have developed friendships with each other.
Where you have to be careful is primarily with private blog networks and not creating footprints of clearly linking back and forth to each other from the same sites at all times. Of course, you don’t have to use private networks, but remember for each link you give out, you can get three to four back, so it can dramatically speed up the process of ranking your site.
You Need to Know How the Microphone Works
And how to sing.
One of my favourite authors, Daniel Priestley, said the following in his book The Key Person of Influence;
You don’t need to know how the microphone works, you need to know how to sing.
He was referring to the technology behind the microphone and how, when it was first invented, your time would have been better spent learning how to sing than how a microphone worked, if you wanted to reach a lot of people.
When it comes to ranking in Google, I don’t think that’s the case. You need to know how the microphone works and how to sing.
There are going to be people who worry I’m encouraging armies of people to come together to take over the Google search results.
The truth is that I don’t believe people who can’t sing – in this case, can’t produce great results for search engine users – will have much long-term success.
There’s no point putting all of the work into your PIN if the end result is going to be a crappy website.
The third example of a PIN that I mentioned earlier now easily does in excess of over $100,000 per month. What I didn’t yet tell you is that they built a fantastic resource for their industry. The site doesn’t have many pages (less than 50), but each one genuinely solves a question that a particular searcher is looking for an answer to.
I don’t view utilising a PIN as a way to “sneak” up the Google results and send thousands of visitors to an ad-riddled website.
Instead, I see it as a way to help you start getting great content noticed that could attract natural links once it is.
I mentioned at the start of this article that I would likely weed out some of the audience of ViperChill. I want to make it clear though that I’m not trying to help people with shitty websites rise to the top of Google.
While I believe there is a great opportunity here, it isn’t easy. Turning the concept into reality sounds much easier on paper (or in a blog post).
The truth is that when it comes to making money online, most people are, quite simply…lazy.
They may be excited about this idea for a few weeks but if you’re going to use this to rank in an industry worth ranking for, you should be aiming for keywords that take a few months to get any serious traction for.
Links Aside, The Connections You Build Can Be Invaluable
I’ve already briefly talked about the other benefits this kind of network can have, besides link building.
You can connect with people who have a genuine passion for your industry who in turn spur you on to put more work into your site and help you improve your online ventures. Whether that’s giving advice on your design, your writing, your strategy or anything else.
Working online can seem lonely at times, especially if your offline friends don’t have an inkling to do anything online. When you’re aiming to make money from your web projects it’s nice to find other people on the same journey.
In my future of blogging post a few years ago, one of the most popular on the site, I mentioned how some bloggers had worked together to help grow their respective audiences in the same industry.
TechCrunch and Mashable grew incredibly quickly at the same time while investors were putting more and more of their money into web-based projects. They mentioned each other thousands of times.
Smaller operations – though still huge – like Copyblogger and Problogger would guest post on each others’ sites, promote each other’s products, send traffic to each other via their email lists and essentially enhanced both of their own images through their connection.
I took the time to actually figure out how many times some sites mentioned each other, which you can see in the graphic below.
While links were a key factor in all of these partnerships, I wouldn’t essentially class them as private link building. Most of the links didn’t include any specific anchor text and they weren’t to random affiliate sites or anything like that. All of them were trying to build authoritative online businesses and found someone with a similar passion on the same journey.
While TechCrunch and Mashable were almost in direct competition with each other, they still highlighted the stories that the other site got to first. Michael Arrington later sold TechCrunch to AOL for $25m. Pete Cashmore is still the CEO of Mashable though according to Politico.com, is trying to sell the site for around $300-$350m.
That’s a partnership that certainly paid off for both of them. Pete holding out six years on his sale seems to have been a smarter choice, however.
A Facebook Group to Find PIN Partners
For what is probably a very limited time only, I’m giving access to a private Facebook group where people can assemble together to potentially build their own Private Influencer Network.
I don’t want the comments here to be full of pitching opportunities, so let’s take this elsewhere to see what industries you’re working with. To be approved for the group you must leave a comment here with your Facebook name or put your Facebook initials at the end of a comment. Facebook will likely recommend the group to people who have no idea what PIN’s are and I don’t want to do a lot of moderating.
Don’t reveal your exact niche when you start a discussion, just simply zoom out of your niche and reveal a higher category that you would like to work in. You can find the group here (remember to comment to be approved).
Thank you, as always, for reading.
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duaneodavila · 6 years
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The FairFax Test
When Virginia Lt. Gov. justin Fairfax was accused by Vanessa Tyson of forcing her to engage in oral sex, it was close enough to the edge possible doubt that the “weighing of the equitites” that one could entertain the possibility that it didn’t happen.
After all, Fairfax was a black Democratic pol, about to replace ol’ Frank “Blackface” Northam, and suddenly, out of nowhere, boom, an accusation of sex assault appears where it was never raised before. That it wasnt corroborated has no legal consequence, but it allows us to escape the sense that it wasn’t of recent creation, whether in whole or in “realization.”
Why it wasn’t raised before, if it happened, is a mystery. When he ran for office, no one came forward. Why Tyson chose not to go to the police if it happened can be rationalized away with the usual excuses, but still raises doubts. The choice to do nothing could mean that she perceived it as consensual at the time, and only by a change in her perspective did it morph into an assault in retrospect.
It also meant that there would be no process by which Fairfax could challenge the accusation, leaving him open to accusation while denying him the due process to clear his name. He would be tainted in perpetuity, but not with certainty.
Then the second bomb dropped, two days after the Tyson “revelation.”
The woman, Meredith Watson, accused Mr. Fairfax of raping her in 2000 while they were students at Duke University, saying in a statement that his actions were “premeditated and aggressive” and demanding that he step down immediately.
What exactly did Fairfax do? Watson calls it “rape,” but that word no longer has meaning. She says it was “premeditated and aggressive,” but those are adjectives, not nouns. These are conclusory, not factual. What conduct does she claim Fairfax did?
The new accusation against Fairfax came from Meredith Watson, who said Friday in a statement through her attorney that she shared her account with several classmates and friends immediately after the alleged assault occurred. Watson did not speak publicly Friday, and her lawyer did not make her available for an interview.
And this time, there was “corroboration.”
As with Tyson, Fairfax has vehemently denied the accusation. But while people might, barely, have been able to get past a first accusation, the second has a geometric effect, even though a cold, sober view would be that it’s addition, not multiplication. It creates the feeling that there isn’t merely two independent, wholly unrelated allegations of misconduct, but what we have come to believe a rapist would do, rape again. Even if you can shrug  off one, how can anyone doubt two women?
Fairfax called Watson’s accusation “nuts,” raising that he wasn’t the first person she accused of rape. Watson’s lawyer turned it around on Fairfax.
We have heard from numerous press sources that in response to Meredith Watson revealing that Justin Fairfax raped her when she was a student at Duke, Mr. Fairfax has chosen to attack his victim again, now smearing her with the typical “she’s nuts” defense. He revealed that Ms. Watson was the victim of a prior rape. That is true.
…She left a campus party when he arrived, and he followed her out. She turned and asked: “Why did you do it?” Mr. Fairfax answered: “I knew that because of what happened to you last year, you’d be too afraid to say anything.” Mr. Fairfax actually used the prior rape of his “friend” against her when he chose to rape her in a premeditated way.
Fairfax may well be politically dead, as former Gov. Terry McAuliffe has called for his resignation, as well as the usual suspects. That’s the political position, rats leaving off the sinking ship or, as is now the norm, signalling their virtue. Politics is the expoitation of perception, not the ascertainment of provable fact.
Faced with everything he’s done in his life crumbling before him, his support gone, his future dead, Fairfax says he will fight.
Mr. Fairfax has denied both accusations and said Ms. Watson’s was “demonstrably false.” He vowed he would not resign.
“I demand a full investigation into these unsubstantiated and false allegations,” Mr. Fairfax said. “Such an investigation will confirm my account because I am telling the truth.”
Whether a full investigation will serve that purpose is itself a curiosity. Investigations are preludes to trial, not trials. But as Fairfax will at most get a trial on articles of impeachment, which isn’t really a trial at all, he will never have the opportunity to test the allegations against him.
Before the Northam debacle, the name Justin Fairfax meant nothing to me. I’m neither his fan nor friend. But he comes into this morass without the baggage of a Harvey Weinstein, more like an Al Franken, who threw himself under the bus with the help of his closest friends.
The other day, someone raised the point that our hatred and fear of ex-convicts has created a world where they can never be allowed to rejoin society as happy, productive, law-abiding citizens after they’ve paid their “debt to society.” Forgiveness is returning to favor for the formerly incarcerated. It’s been out of favor for decades, yet we’re now pondering how we could have been so blind, so misguided, so hateful toward them.
Is Fairfax, who many assume to be guilty despite there being nothing but hearsay conclusory allegations against him, entitled to the presumption of innocence? The rhetorical argument against it is that this isn’t a criminal trial, that he will only “lose a job” rather than go to prison. This is the current fashion of rationalizing away principle in the name of expediency, just as we did with those “criminals” who were undeserving of a second chance, too risky to welcome back into society.
But the presumption of innocence isn’t merely a technical legal rule to be applied at trial, but a fundamental principle upon which our system is grounded. In most instances, one can’t prove a negative, prove innocent. So a choice must be made, whether to “believe” the accuser because that’s what fashion designers say is in style at the moment, or hold firm to principle because we will not allow a life to be destroyed unless and until an accusation of rape or sexual assault is proven by being tested in the crucible of an actual trial.
Fairfax will never get that trial. Now he won’t get that trial twice. Can we hold firm to principle, even if it’s nearly impossible to shake off the feeling that he did it? His accusers will never be tested, but we will. We are.
The FairFax Test republished via Simple Justice
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viralhottopics · 8 years
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‘Heartbreaking’ — Obamacare Phone Counselor Talks About The Calls Coming In
The telephone operators who answer questions about Healthcare.gov, the website for buying Affordable Care Act insurance, have been busy lately. Thats not surprising, given that Tuesday is the last day to purchase coverage for the rest of 2017.
But this year, something is different: Obamacares future is in doubt. And thats made for some difficult moments.
Republicans have vowed to repeal the 2010 health care law and President Donald Trump has already issued an executive order that could weaken the program while its still on the books. The damage to the market could start in 2018 or even earlier, under some scenarios.
With these possibilities getting more and more attention in the media, the people who have coverage through Obamacare are getting worried and, as one phone operator told The Huffington Post, they have been calling.Its heartbreaking, because we cant tell these people that it will be okay, because we dont know if it will be okay.
The operator was careful to say that not everybody calling is in a panic. In fact, a sizable minority of people are telephoning just to say how happy they are that the law, which they really dont like, might finally go away.
But more often than not, the callers are scared and it seems the attendants havent gotten specific guidance on what to tell them. The Obama administration would routinely send along updated scripts when a news event was likely to prompt new questions and calls, but, according to this operator, theres been nothing like that since Trump took office.
They dont know if theyre going to be able to take their medicines, or see their doctors.
The operator, who works for a government contractor, agreed to answer questions about this years open enrollment and what callers are saying. The only condition was anonymity, because workplace rules forbid employees from speaking to the media. (The Huffington Post verified the operators identity independently.)
What follows is a transcript of that interview, lightly edited for clarity.
What are you hearing this year that is different?
Because the website is working so much better the people calling us dont really need us like they needed us before. It used to be that people relied on us to walk them through the application process. Now, they just need questions answered. And now a lot of those people are asking questions like, Will I have health insurance? We cant really answer them with certainty.
Theres also a clear division now. You have some people, they want to know what will happen to their health insurance. They dont know if theyre going to be able to take their medicines, or see their doctors. And thats about 60, maybe 70 percent of the calls we end up getting. The rest, so I guess thats the other 30 to 40 percent, are people who are saying I cant wait for this to go away.
The ones who say they cant wait for it to go away. What do they say?
They dont like to have to fill in an application for insurance for a doctor they cant visit because, you know, hes 60 miles away, in another town. Its not someplace they go regularly. Sometimes they say that the deductibles or the monthly premiums are just too much.
Sometimes they say that the deductibles or the monthly premiums are just too much.
In the past, weve had people call us and theyd be like those folks you hear about theyd have a negative attitude about the health care law. And then they would find what the price would actually be, and they were amazed. In a good way. But there hasnt been so much of that this year. I think everybody whose mind could have been changed has been changed.
What about the 60 to 70 percent, the ones who are worried, what are those like?
These people are calling in, and they want to make sure they will be covered. They want reassurances that if they sign up for insurance right now, that it will still be in effect for the rest of the year.
The answer we give them is that, according to the information weve been given, we believe they will have coverage. If they are signing up through open enrollment, then they should have the insurance, and they will get the tax credits if they are eligible, at least through the end of the year again, based on the information that has been given to us. Congress has given us no indication that they will pull everything.
The problem is that everything is so up in the air. And people know it. They are calling us with questions, and we dont know what to tell them, because no one has given us any indication of what may happen. So theres a general unease around here, about everyone who is calling in and talking to us. They just want to know, and we dont feel like we have definitive answers for them.
Has anybody shared their stories about what it would mean to lose insurance?
In the the first couple of years, a lot of what we were doing was teaching people about insurance this is how coverage works. That kind of thing. And even now, we get calls from people who have never had insurance before. They dont know what a premium is. They dont know what a deductible is. So some of that is education.
But once theyve been on it for a couple of years, they understand and say, okay, I wouldnt be able to afford my medicine say, my insulin if it wasnt for this insurance. Or they went to the doctor and found a tumor that they didnt know they had. Thats because they had insurance now.
Everything is so up in the air. And people know it.
Youve actually had calls like that?
Oh, yeah, its a daily thing. On average, a single CSR [customer service representative] will take anywhere from 10 to 20 calls a day, depending on the length and complexity of the questions they are getting. And Id say usually its one to three calls a day are like that a story where somebody wouldnt be able to afford this medicine if it werent for this law.
What do you tell these people?
Unfortunately, a lot of it is toeing the line of what we are allowed to say right now. We dont have a whole lot of information. We can tell them that, to the best of our knowledge, nothing is changing immediately. But it flies in the face of everything weve seen on the television. And its heartbreaking, because we cant tell these people that it will be okay, because we dont know if it will be okay.
Have you gotten any guidance? Was any given to you?
No, nothing like that. There is a whole other company, a third party, responsible for writing all of our scripted information giving the kinds of things we are allowed to say on the phone. And they have to get clearance from CMS [the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services] on what we are allowed to say.
Everything from the past week has been radio silence, as to what we are and are not allowed to say.
Is that unusual?
Yes. Typically we have gotten updates pretty regularly, especially when there are things like this in the media. Before, if there was something in the news … within 24 to 36 hours we would have new language and scripting, and we were allowed to say, okay, here is the new information we have.
To go a week from President Trumps initial executive order last Friday, with almost no updates as to what may happen. I dont even know if they know whats going to happen yet. I dont really think anybody knows whats going to happen yet.
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viralhottopics · 8 years
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Madam president: are female leaders better for women?
Hillary Clinton would have done more for women than Trump, but less than Bernie Sanders. What is womens politics, anyway and who does it best?
This piece started with the assumption that in 2017 we would have a feminised global stage: thered be Hillary Clinton in the White House, Theresa May in Downing Street, Angela Merkel in the Bundeskanzleramt, and Marine Le Pen in a hollowed-out volcano. I wanted to know: what would such a spectrum of women in power, with their various viewpoints, tell us about womens politics? Is there such a thing? Is it a good thing? And how do you square a feminist desire for female leaders with the ascension of non-feminist ones? But it didnt quite turn out like that. Now, those questions seem peripheral.
When Donald Trump won, the notion of a broad, instinctive female solidarity was brutally exposed as myth: open misogyny in word, demeanour and the shape of a dozen sexual assault allegations deterred only a minority of women voters.
But now that we are in the grip of strongman politics, it is impossible to give up on the notion of womens politics. We face a gender equality crisis. The sharp end of this is that any authoritarian politician, from President Trump to Ukips Paul Nuttall, tends to be anti-abortion, having correctly identified that the best way to dominate a woman is to take away her choice of when to be a mother. But thats just the beginning: big daddy politics seeks no consensus, brooks no resistance, acknowledges no pluralism. We no longer have the luxury of time, which means ditching nuanced debate in favour of action. But action how?
Already Trumps inauguration has generated one response, the thing people do when they must do something but dont know what: they take to the streets. Todays Womens March on Washington, planned by a woman named Bob Bland, references both the March on Washington of 1963 and the Million Woman March on Philadelphia in 1997; a UK version is also taking place in London.
When I spoke to the organiser, Emma McNally, a 47-year-old artist, I thought she was being evasive on the womens politics question. It wasnt evasion, she said, it was a resistance to oversimplification, which, she says infantilises us and makes us very malleable. If we know who we are, we know who we belong with, then we feel strong, we can act with certainty. In other words, you cant just meet the simplicity of the tough guy with the simplicity of the elemental woman.
Youll waste a lot of time if you get mired in a discussion of what womens values are cooperation, empathy, humanity, solidarity and whether or not one gender has a right to annex them. This is what Sophie Walker, leader of the new-ish Womens Equality Party (WEP), remembers of the unfeminist 90s. We were always being diverted into a conversation about what feminism was. We couldnt ever get to the point of what a feminist does, because we had to spend all that time talking about what one looks like. The challenge now, she says, is to look at all politics through the lens of gender, because thats the only way were going to build a country that functions properly, in which everybody is seen and everybody is heard.
When Donald Trump won, the notion of a broad, instinctive female solidarity was brutally exposed as myth. Photograph: John Gurzinski/AFP/Getty Images
Twenty-one years ago, a series of postcards appeared in the Body Shop, which in those days wasnt a way to kill time in a station, but rather the embodiment of progressive consumerism. Its founder, Anita Roddick, was a feminist and an environmentalist who, with activists Bernadette Vallely, Sue Tibballs and others, asked an open-ended question: what do women want?
Their methodology was not dissimilar to Shere Hites 1976 report on female sexuality: you could be anonymous or not, and the sample was whoever replies. The flaws in this approach basically, that it preselected women who could afford to arse about in the Body Shop, and could also afford a stamp have been exhaustively pointed out. The fact is, with 6,000 replies, containing 46,000 suggestions, it remains the biggest independent survey of women ever undertaken in the UK. At the end of 2015, Tibballs and others launched it again, and their What Women Want 2.0 is still in train; the Womens Equality party has been collecting some of the responses while canvassing.
I worked on the original report, in a very peripheral capacity, and not for the right reasons (I was chasing a guy; it was quite circuitous, but it worked). I didnt believe in the report, not at all: the language felt soft and victimy; it was all about childcare and maternity leave, which is not at all interesting when you havent got children; and violence against women, which is of course! vitally important, but couldnt harness or accommodate the politics of optimism that prevailed at the time. I was waiting for a world in which children werent a womens issue, given that half the bloody things are male (and half of the making is done by men). A recurring demand for a healthy planet and respect for our planetary resources seemed to imply that women, by our very natures, cared more about the future. Elsewhere in the report, a National Health Service with proper funding got rolled into support for positive and alternative health, as if socialising medicine and believing in homeopathy were one and the same.
I wasnt the only sceptic: famously, the 1990s saw a dip in the popularity of feminism. At the Evening Standard newspaper, where I then worked, it was not unusual to get letters from readers saying, Yes, I agree with equal pay and abortion rights. But would I call myself a feminist? No thanks!
Theresa May is she better or worse than Margaret Thatcher? Photograph: Kirsty Wigglesworth/AP
Last October, at the south London office of the Womens Equality party, members of the What Women Want team sat down with party staff to compare the original 1996 responses with todays, and ask whats changed in 20 years. I expected to hear about newfangled concerns. Cybercrime, perhaps, or polyamory.
In fact, most things havent changed, and those that have have changed for the worse. Women still want decent childcare and equal wages, but now they also want to be able to afford the rent; they still want to feel safe in public spaces, but now they would also like, if you please, not to get death threats every time they go online and give a view; they still want environmental sustainability to come before profit, but global solidarity has largely slipped out of the language (though there are positive signs that its back again: the recent threat to limit abortion rights in Poland sparked the Black Umbrellas protests across Europe).
In the 90s, women talked a lot about what they wanted from their boyfriends and partners: sometimes help with the chores, sometimes sex, sometimes recognition. Now, theres plenty about men en masse, how they should be educated about rape and consent; but in terms of the relationships that build their identity, women talk only about their children. This seems completely obvious to the women I speak to in their 20s. It would be so out of fashion now to hinge my identity as a feminist on my relationship with my partner, says Priscilla Mensah, members officer for the WEP. Hannah Peaker, the WEPs chief of staff, recalls one poignant response that struck her: One woman talking about the disappointment that moment, either when children come along, or youre trying to buy a house, when you realise that equality wasnt real, when you see how sexist things are underneath.
Peaker is savage on the way the rise of freelance work has impacted women. Theres been this really clever branding around women entrepreneurs. But if you look at the data, these are women who have been driven to working for themselves because they couldnt get the flexibility they needed. Theyre just doing the same jobs with no rights, no benefits, no maternity leave.
Pensions have about equal prominence in the original report and today, except that then the problem was that the system was based on the male-breadwinner model, and divorced pensioners lost out; now, the 2011 Pensions Act (which brought womens pensionable age into line with mens) means that all women born in the 1950s lose out. The responses were more or less exactly the same, almost word for word: Ive worked 44 years, and its completely unfair, says Mensah. There was a real sense of injustice. One cannot help wondering whether, if women pushing 60 were as large a part of the body politic as men, this change would have been sprung on them so blithely.
One striking similarity between the 90s and now is the complaints about media representation: the invisibility of older women; objectification; women described according to their looks rather than their achievements. There is no perceptible difference in the importance women place on safety from harassment, from violence although two decades ago there was more discussion around international security, the threat of war, the nuclear threat. Im struck, Tibballs says, by how safety is still such a big thing. Peaker tells us she has spoken to women, while campaigning, who say they probably spend about an hour extra a day planning around safety, without even thinking about it. One woman talked about it as a tax, the way she would have to get a taxi after 11pm, to avoid the walk home, or join a gym, because she couldnt run through a park in the winter.
Its such a foreign issue to men, says publicist Will Hill, who has been involved in the new survey. I did a focus group with young teenage girls in Brighton, asking what they wanted. I was expecting better access to music, tech, all that. And they all said, Street lighting.
Angela Merkel a way point as a leader. Photograph: Ullstein Bild via Getty Images
Alison Shergold was one of the original respondents, and at the time a fundraiser for Rape Crisis London: in 1996, she wanted statutory funding bodies for rape crisis centres throughout the UK. Now, she works in an upmarket commercial estate agent and says ruefully, Ive sold my soul to the corporate beast. She resists the urge to generalise about anything. I was in a lesbian relationship when I did the first survey, and my girlfriend was a separatist, very anti-men. I wasnt: I know some lovely men and some bitch women. Some things have got better, she thinks; others not. I dont think any of the goals were achieved. [Rape] conviction rates havent changed, or preventing it. I dont even want to change the world any more; I just want violence against women to stop, violence against everybody.
The projects cofounder Tibballs, meanwhile, takes a Kipling-esque approach to triumph and disaster, describing success and abject failure with the same cheerful straightforwardness. There is something intellectually wholesome, tireless and timeless about her, like a lady poet of the 30s or a Victorian explorer. The job that the project did, 20 years ago, was that it made it absolutely clear that you cannot, as a political party, not have a position on women and equality. Childcare wasnt in a single manifesto it wasnt part of the conversation. We put it on the agenda. And yet, she counters herself, Where the hell are we?
***
Perhaps we shouldnt be defining womens issues or perspectives, but rather highlighting those that are distinctively male. For instance, since the financial crash of 2008, there has been a political fetish for hard work. Families are legitimised by the prefix hard-working; immigrants divided into net contributors to the taxing state, or beneficiaries of it. Citizens are weighed by their economic activity, with moral disapprobation attached to those who are inactive.
This is nonsensical, since we all know that everyone is economically inactive for some part of their lives, and often youre working a lot harder when youre not being paid (childcare in your prime; volunteering in retirement; caring when there is nobody else to care). Often that work brings more to society than its cash equivalent. Practically speaking, these are political or economic conditions that hit women in a particular way; to respond to them as individuals rather than as a group is foolish like a thousand atomised complaints about pollution from people who all live on the same A-road.
It would be remiss to ignore conventional politics in this. I asked the Labour MP Margaret Hodge how she thinks womens politics have changed during her near 25 years in Westminster. She related an argument shed had recently with Harriet Harman about whether Theresa May is better or worse than Margaret Thatcher. May has done some good stuff, stuff that doesnt really impinge on her, like [tackling] FGM, Hodge says. It doesnt cost her very much, politically, but I dont think Mrs T would have done it. Is a female prime minister who takes FGM seriously, but waves through an austerity programme that devastates more women than men better than one who actively avoids any solidarity with her sex?
If, as Hodge maintains, the Trump-Clinton contest showed that politicians always tend to have gender-specific approaches to their politics, this becomes like a puzzle: is it always better to have one woman than no women, regardless of whether she fights for women? Or is politics like a BBC panel show: one woman, described as a minimum, is functionally a maximum? A non-feminist woman is currently occupying a space that would be better filled, for women generally, by someone who went in to bat for us.
How does Hodge feel about the use of the word feminism? Im delighted that feminism is back. Ive called myself a feminist throughout my career when it was fashionable, when it was deeply unfashionable. Women over 35 identify themselves to one another this way, a shibboleth of authenticity, like loving the Pixies before they were cool: its all very well being a feminist today, but where were you in the 90s?
My own idiosyncratic political position in the 90s was nothing of the sort, but the meeting of two frontiers, which squeezed the feminist space until its pips squeaked. On the one hand, there was the overhang of Thatcherism; it was an ethos in which, as Hodge says, you proved your brilliance as a woman by beating men on their own terms. To raise womens issues was akin to pleading weakness. On the other, there was the 80s residue of career women who had toughed it out, either forgoing having children or returning to work after 10 days maternity leave; they were genuinely scornful of that side of the equality agenda. Hodge remembers terrible resentment against any concessions on childcare or maternity leave. They didnt want to see these changes: they felt theyd made these sacrifices, and why should we have it all? It was an era when solidarity itself had fallen out of fashion: and without it, what bonded women? Hoovering and childbirth? No, thanks!
Nicola Sturgeon takes a keen interest in low wages and the systems that create them. Photograph: Bloomberg via Getty Images
Thinking about it now, I am beset by a sense of failure. I ceded the language of solidarity in favour of individual rights. I took no pride in the womens movement and its history, and lost that organisational muscle memory. I was happy to argue the toss about whether environmentalism and childcare were female in essence, rather than saying, Who are you people who think profit is more important than the planet? Who thinks childcare isnt a group effort?
Meanwhile, this is the politics that was developing in tandem: the hyper-masculinist language of self-interest, tough talk, militarism, competitiveness and control, all now considered normal. The essential cooperative qualities that any society needs to be halfway functioning are currently considered not only unrealistic but wishy-washy, pass and rather niche. But I do not feel downhearted: this situation cant last because it is just too stupid.
I was looking in the wrong place for the value of the idea. It was never meant to be a coherent programme of female-friendly actions, to which all right-thinking women would subscribe. It may be that there is no such thing as a womens issue but still, on any given subject, there is always a distinct womens perspective, without which you will never meaningfully understand it. Feminism is always in the detail, in each granular answer, in every individual woman.
Having female leaders is clearly useful. But a woman at the top can never, even with feminist bona fides up the wazoo, bring the complete perspective of her gender. So much of this is about power: how a shrinking state throws its burdens back on to individuals; how those individuals are usually women; how this is ignored by the language of competition and self-interest.
Clinton would have been better for women than Trump, merely by maintaining Obamacare and not redistributing wealth upwards; but not as good as Bernie Sanders, with his more coherent vision for empowering the dispossessed. May is probably no better or worse for women than Cameron was, although her predecessor might have worked harder to keep an on-the-record misogynist (Philip Davies MP) off the committee for women and equalities. Angela Merkel is less good for her gender than Nicola Sturgeon, who takes a keener interest in low wages and the systems that create them.
In the end, all these leaders are way points, not end points. To wish they were better, gutsier, more harmonious feminists is a needless distraction: far better to wish them part of a bigger choir.
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from Madam president: are female leaders better for women?
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