#also we had to write our answer to this ask twice because our phone doesn't like us. sad boi hours.

[funnier-as-a-system]

we also have a bunch of rp alters!!!!! the funny thing is we were like the Only Singlet in an rp server full of plurals and somehow we STILL didn't figure it out until 2 years later??? 😭 we just thought literally becoming your rp characters to get in character was normal 😭😭

Ah yes, the token Singlet™ in a pack full of plurals, whose presence can best be summed up as "egg carton that has somehow found itself in a chicken coop." Glad you guys figured it out – that must be a funny story to tell!

[sevmch]

hq boys when you pepper them with kisses bc you're sad

characters: kenma, akaashi, kuroo

warning/s: none

genre: fluff, comfort

a/n: here's some fluff bc i think ive been writing too much angst lately aksjdkhskshs

kozume kenma

you were sitting next to kenma, staring at your boyfriend's face that had his game face plastered on his features in full concentration. you watched in silence as he played, cheek leaning against your palm.

this wasn't new, in fact, most of your time spent at his place were usually just you doing your own stuff while he played. you didn't really mind, wanting to just be around kenma and feel his presence.

he also loved having you near him, you knew that. but sometimes, especially when you're feeling down, it felt as if he didn't care a bit like right now. kenma cared a lot but he's no mind reader, so he doesn't exactly know you're upset because you failed one of your exams today.

but you really wanted to be close to him as some sort of comfort, so you moved away from the desk and lean towards kenma, resting your chin on his shoulders and catching him give you a side-eye.

"what're you doing?" he asked, focused on the screen again, fingers moving swiftly against the keyboards.

you shrugged, sighing deeply. "nothing."

"okay."

pouting at his lack of response, you placed a quick peck on his cheek. his brows jumped, the crease in his forehead disappearing for the first time tonight. you planted another one and another one and another one, soft and brief and lazy. kenma moved his face towards you when you stopped for a second due to the discomfort creeping up your neck from the position, your boyfriend whining at the sudden loss of contact.

now it's your brows that raised, not really expecting for him to ask more. he leaned closer, tilting his head a little sideways as a sign for you to keep going.

"why'd you stop?"

"my neck was starting to hurt, i thought i was bothering you though." you shifted in your seat to find a much comfortable position.

he frowned, glancing at you and quickly reaching for the neck pillow that sat on the far end of his desk.

"i love it when you do that," he said softly, pausing the game so he could put the pillow around your neck and cup your face gently. "you're never a bother to me."

"kenma," your lips trembled slightly when tears started gathering at your eyes, touched by his affection.

"i know you're not okay. i could tell since you got here. do you wanna get ice cream after and talk about it?"

you nodded, not saying a word because you were sure your voice would crack if you did and kenma knew that, ruffling your hair before turning back to his game.

"ice cream it is then," he said, pressing play. "i'll buy you two if you continue with the kisses."

giggling, you plant more soft kisses on his cheek, even massaging the back of his neck as you watched him play. later that night, he took you to your favorite ice cream parlor, listening attentively to everything you had to say.

akaashi keiji

you and akaashi haven't seen each other the past week due to both of your conflicting and hectic schedules. their practices were extended to later hours for the upcoming interhigh while you were busy with club activities. whenever you had free time, akaashi would be unavailable and vise versa.

you missed each other so much it hurts which was why the second you both had matching free time, it was spent on cuddling for hours on end. even when you were lying on top of akaashi, face hiding at the crook of his neck and feeling the rise and fall of his chest, you still craved for more.

thinking of having to separate and not see each other again for days made your heart sink into your stomach, nuzzling against his neck as if you could get even closer than you were already.

he ran his hand up and down your back in comfort, even giving a gentle squeeze on your arm to remind you he was physically there with you. you sighed deeply, landing feather-like kisses at his jaw.

"missed you."

"i know," akaashi said barely above a whisper, relaxing into the feeling of your soft lips on his skin. "i missed you too, love."

as you kept going with your ministrations, your eyes were wide in surprise when akaashi stopped you, leaning away just to turn to his side and face you. placing a hand at the back of your neck, you felt his lips on your forehead. then, you felt them next on the space between your brows, then at the tip of your nose, then at your chin.

stopping by your lips, he hovered, staring at you lovingly through half lidded eyes. blood rushed to your cheeks, heating up at the way he was gazing at you. slowly, akaashi captured your lips in his, pulling you forward by his hand on your nape as he moved his lips passionately you're glad you were laying down otherwise your knees would've gave out. it was sweet and short, slipping pecks in between before moving back a little.

"don't be so sad anymore, hm? i'm here now." he said, caressing your cheek with his thumb. the corner of your lips tug upward in a smile, releasing a contented sigh as you stared at each other for a little while.

kuroo tetsuro

he was in a middle of a phone call with yaku discussing about their chemistry homework and spitting out chemical names that were alien to you. it has been going of nearly an hour and a half and you were starting to get impatient, wanting to get back to the movie currenly paused at the screen before yaku called.

saturday nights were movie nights and it was an agreement that either of you must be free from distractions - no phone notifications, mentions of school works, and the like. unless it was an emergency. yaku calling wasn't an emergency, in fact, it was just to argue with kuroo that his answers were right and your boyfriend's were wrong.

and you wouldn't mind it if it were any other day but not today. not after movie nights have been pushed back twice in a row because kuroo has been too exhausted from training to even stay awake at 9 pm.

scooting closer to him on the couch, you locked him in place by putting your arms around his neck and resting your legs on his lap. used to your clinginess, he doesn't react - kept his mind on throwing insults at yaku.

so you proceed with your plan in mind. you weren't exactly placing kisses, just letting your lips graze the corner of his mouth to tease, knowing that it riled him up when you don't kiss him completely.

his free hand came to give your thigh a warning squeeze, a light chuckle leaving you as you kept teasing him, lips hovering at the side of his face. when you felt considerate, you'd kiss him lightly.

you're not really sure how long it went on but probably enough time for kuroo to give up.

"okay bro whatever, let's check it again on monday with kai and see who's really right. i'm busy, bye." with a tap on end call, he tossed the phone on the empty spot beside him before tackling you on the couch, making you shriek as your back met the cushion.

"my babygirl's such a tease," he said in a low, husky voice that sent shivers up and down your spine. before you could even utter a single word, kuroo's smashing his lips against yours, moving fast that it got you mind short-circuiting.

when you finally caught up with his pace and started getting into it, he pulled away. you whined, grabbing his collar to pull him down but doesn't budge, a smirk on his face.

"it's not so fun getting teased, is it?" he winked, clearly amused at your annoyed expression.

you rolled your eyes, groaning as you smack his bicep. "seriously kuroo?"

"what, you started it kitten. it's only fair if you get a little taste of it." he laughed when you scowled further, shaking his head lightly and giving you a sweet, gentle kiss. "sorry i interrupted our movie night."

"'s okay," you mumbled in between the kiss.

"we can make out for the rest of it, you know, a way for me to make it up to you," he said, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly.

you scoffed, but really, the idea sounded perfect.

"just admit you enjoy kissing me."

"mmm sure, whatever," kuroo mumbled as he dipped his head, capturing your lips again. maybe movie night being interrupted wasn't so bad afterall.

rb and feedbacks r sexy ty<33

2021 (c) sevmch | strictly do not copy or repost.

[ye4gerismarchives]

the bachelorette chp 4, part 3: visiting jean’s mom

an: so, i decided i'd write the elimination in a separate chapter, one, just to mess with y'all and two, to give you time. i honestly think picking one of these three guys is really hard. obviously, i know who i want to win, but i look at the two other guys and i'm like 'oh, they would be good too!'. i like pulling at your heartstrings ;). i'll probably put together another q&a (depending on the numbers of questions i get) and once i do that, i'll wait for a day and then close the poll to start writing! anyways, let me stop sharing my thought process with yall and start your date with jean. link at the bottom!

tags: black, fem reader

tag list: @taybird

Bertholdt drove you back to the mansion and you texted Connie asking him to prepare something for you, Bertholdt. Jean and Connie to eat. And maybe a lil something for that brat Levi. Connie responded with an 'ok' and a smiley face.

The car ride home was silent. You felt awful for Bertholdt. You wondered how many silent post-hospital drives he's been through.

Once you got home, Bertholdt told you he wasn't very hungry and just wanted to lay down. You wanted to argue with him but Bertholdt needed space. You wish him good night before making your way to the kitchen.

Connie and Jean were chatting it up in the kitchen once you walked in. Connie was the one to announce your entrance. "Hey, y/n," he greets. Jean then turns around. "Hey, y/n. How is Bert holding up? I understand that visit was really hard."

"Thank you for asking, Jean. Bertie...well...he's just being human. His dad...it's really bad," you reply. You take a seat by Jean at the kitchen island. "The fact that he's been holding in for a while...it's crazy. I would have never thought he was in that situation. No wonder he was so stressed after that Porco got angry with him," Jean says. You raise an eyebrow at Jean. "Oh...after Porco got angry with him about you, Bert seemed sadder and more introverted than usual. He only really confided in Reiner, though," Jean explained.

"Ah, that makes sense. Poor Bertie."

Connie had made some garlic bread with ava ado toast and egg. You didn't expect that out of him but you all enjoyed it. You felt tired, so you told the guys you were ready to lay down. They wished you good night before diving into a conversation about...y'all i don't even know what men talk about 😐

The next morning, you woke up at the same time as you did for Connie's visit. Your final visit would be Jean's mom. She also lived far away from the mansion but Jean insisted that you could take your time. She would still be at her home. No nurses to rush you out or kids bugging their parents. You hoped this visit would be as peaceful as it sounded.

You were very hungry though. You didn't realize it last night about the whole Bertholdt thing and you only had those little stupid avocado things that Connie made. It was good but didn't feel you up. You decided you would take a bath and get ready for your visit later.

You crept downstairs, hoping not to wake anyone up. You didn't want Levi questioning you and you didn't want to stop and talk to the boys because you would probably have a day-long conversation and if that conversation was with Jean, you probably wouldn't see his mom.

You made a few turns and found yourself in the kitchen. And you weren't alone. Jean was leaning on the kitchen counter, sipping on some coffee that he had made. His eyebrows widened at your presence.

"Good morning," he greeted, "I didn't expect you to be up right now."

"Oh, I'm just hungry right now. Didn't eat much yesterday," you say. Jean places his coffee down on the table. "Would you like me to make you something?"

You were about to say yes but a greater idea came into mind. "Why don't we make something together? It would be fun and give you bonus points..." You wiggle your eyebrows when you say that last part. Jean let out a laugh. "Well, you're hungry and I can't let you starve. Us working together will make things faster...and those 'bonus points' would help a lot."

You walk towards Jean and his eyes remain on you. You find yourself wrapping his arms around his waist. It was just on-demand. Jean pulls you close and kisses your forehead. "What do you wanna make?"You think for a minute. "You know how to make (meal of your choice)?"

Whether Jean says yes or no is up to you. However, Jean is really good at following directions. If you need something, he'll get it. If you needed him to watch something, he watches it with intensity.

After a few minutes, the meal was ready and you both sat by the kitchen island and dug in. "I hope Connie doesn't wake up and butt into our breakfast," you joke. Jean let out a small laugh. "Connie's really nice. He hasn't shown me or anyone else any hostility during our time here."

"If you could say...who did you think was the worst person here?" you ask. Jean doesn't even have to wait to answer. "I'd have to Floch. Confidence is key but Floch just got disrespectful about it. Talking about how we should all go home and let him have you. And he was only here one night and everyone already had a bad vibe about him."

Your heart panged at that answer. "Thank you for telling me. I know everyone likes drama but Floch sounds...dangerous. I don't know what would have happened if he stayed." "Yeah, of course. Sorry if that made you uncomfortable," Jean said sheepishly. The discomfort must have been visible on your face. "No, don't apologize. I asked."

You continued to eat your breakfast and chat and hear about Jean's experience in the mansion so far.

After breakfast, you and Jean got ready for the day and finally decided to head out. Jean was starting his car when you decided to ask another question.

"I've never heard you talk about your dad. I've heard bits about your mom and you've mentioned her to the other guys but I never hear about your father. He isn't dead right? Is he sick? Like Bertholdt's?"

Jean is silent for a minute. "Oh...I don't really like talking about my dad, but you would have to know at some point."

"Oh, Jean...you don't have to. Don't worry about it."

He shakes his head. "It's fine. We were going to have this conversation pretty soon, so it doesn't matter."

Jean starts moving the car and when he's out on the road, he begins to talk.

"My dad has never been in my life. At this point, I don't know if he's dead or not. Sometimes I feel like he isn't my father. We did talk like once or twice when I was a kid and I was actually desperate to see him. But once I reached high school and started preparing for my adult life, I realized he wasn't worth it anymore. If my dad really wanted to be there for me, he would have reached out more often and let me know that things were hard on his end. I know everything I'm saying is being recorded and broadcasted, so if he ever sees me on TV, he can always hit me up. I just won't be naïve and stupid like I was the last time."

You immediately jump in after that last line. "Hey. You weren't naïve or stupid. He was stupid. You were a kid waiting on his dad. You had every right to wait for him, so don't insult yourself over him."

Deep down inside, you weren't sure if you wanted to meet Jean's dad...if he was alive. Jean didn't seem comfortable talking about him at all, so you shouldn't expect any visits or calls from that man. If you were to have kids and he popped up, that'd be hard to deal with. It would probably break Jean's heart to learn that his father would want to see his grandkids before even meeting the guy who helped make them.

Jean doesn't respond to what you said. Again, this was hard for him and he didn't even want to bring his father up in the first place, so you weren't upset.

You end up falling asleep in the car. Hours later, you wake up and Jean is parked in front of a bakery. He's on the phone. "Yeah, ma, we're here. Right in front of it, she's sleeping but we'll head inside....I miss you too...alright then, bye."

Jean hangs up and places the phone down. He jumps slightly when he realizes you're awake. "H-hey. I thought you were sleeping."

"Well, I was. Your mom is ready to see us?" You ask. "Yeah. She owns this bakery and decided to close completely today to meet you. I asked her if we could meet at home but she insisted that her bakery would be best. She's really proud of it," Jean explains. "Are we going to bake something?"

Jean laughs and shakes his head no. "Oh, no. My mom won't let you do any work in there, since you're a special guest. She put some things together if you want to eat something."

You imagined Jean's mother as someone who prioritized her future-in-law over her own son sometimes. It sounds overbearing but you thought this was a good thing. You wouldn't want an evil mother or father-in-law. If Jean were to cheat on you or hurt you, you knew she'd probably be on your side or hear both sides instead of immediately siding with her son.

You also wanted to assume that she was tough on Jean. Considering that she raised him herself, she had to do other things like work. To give herself some peace, she probably had a no-nonsense household- maybe why Jean was more like a puppy and wasn't as scandalous as the eliminated.

Jean got out of the car and helped you out. He didn't take your hand when directing you to the bakery but opened the door for you. Inside was a short, older woman, standing there with her hands clasped. The minute you stepped in, her excitement exploded. "Hi! Welcome! It's finally nice to meet you," she says. The older woman squeezes and you can't help but let out a chuckle...or a wheeze. "H-hey, mom. Maybe you should let her go," Jean steps in nervously. Jean's mom slowly lets go. "I'm sorry! I just got excited. Are you hungry?"

You shake your head. "No, Mrs. Kirstein. Jean actually helped me put together breakfast."

"Good, good. I'm glad he's being useful! And call me June. Come, sit, sit."

Jean's mom takes your hand and leads you to a small table and pulls open a chair for you. Jean quietly pulls a chair up by you. You start to worry about him because all the attention is on you, rather than the both of you.

"Can I get you something to drink?" June asks. "Some water would be nice," you answer. Your eye catches Jean's hand. You place your own on his and you feel him jump slightly. "Jean, would you like something too?"

"I-I'll take water too," Jean croaks. "Well, Jean, I'm sure you can serve yourself. I'm getting old, you know. Make sure you get a glass for y/n too."

Jean looks ready to argue back but he keeps his lips zipped. He carefully removes your hand from

his, gets up, and heads over to the back of the bakery.

You watch Jean do all of this and then finally turn away so that you can give June all your attention. "Please tell me he's been good to you," she starts. You weren't expecting this question but considers why she's asking. "Yes, Jean is...amazing. He's always coming to my defense. Which I shouldn't be surprised by, he is a lawyer."

June sighs in relief. "I hope he stays that way. He told you...about our situation right?" You nod. "It's unfortunate that his father did that to the both of you. If Jean does get married to me, I hope he doesn't pop out of anywhere. Jean's a good guy but I'm not too sure how he'll react to something like that." June let's our a small hum.

"Have you been watching the show?" you ask. "A little. I work, so it's hard to catch up on what's going on. Sometimes I'll read articles and Jean will text me to let me know if he didn't get eliminated. I was a little concerned about him doing the show because nothing is guaranteed."

"Hm...is he cocky about this whole thing? Does he really think he can get me?"

June thinks for a moment. "I can't say cocky but there's nothing wrong with a little confidence. Jean is handsome, he has a good job, he's smart- and he knows that. He believed those would be good reasons for you to like him. But...he does get bashful sometimes. He doesn't want all the attention on him and for people to view him in the wrong way. The fact that he had a mirror in his pocket on the first night was interesting to me. He's never done anything like that before."

You open your mouth but Jean enters once more. He places three water bottles on the table. "Sorry for taking too long. Ma, I'll replace the waters. Don't worry about it," he says. June shakes her head. "Don't worry about it, Jean. We have plenty of water."

"So, have you two discussed wedding plans? Anything for the future?" June suddenly asks. You look at Jean, who looks like his stomach was doing the chacha slide or sum. "M-mom-!"

"Well, we haven't reached that point because we don't know if he's staying or not but I'd like a really elegant wedding. I know we'll have a live-streamed wedding but I'd like to have a private wedding too. That would be nice right?" you cut in. Jean nods in agreement.

"What about kids? I read somewhere that you wanted a family," you tease. Jean's face reddened. "W-well...um...yeah...two would be nice. A girl and b-boy maybe?"

"See? We have a plan," you say with a wide smile. You could imagine Jean as a cautious dad but he still knew how to have fun with his kids. After long days at work, he'd cuddle with them and put them to sleep for you. When the kids are asleep, he'll check on you and make sure you had something to eat. He'd probably make sure to schedule regular date nights and family vacations. He'll have photos of you and the kids and maybe a few bandages in a wallet. Obviously, you would both be in the public eye once in a while but he would make things feel normal.

"I think you two would have beautiful kids. I do hope Jean gets picked. But your two other guys are good too. Bertholdt is absolutely adorable and Connie seems like he knows what he's doing. I don't know how you're ever going to choose. I can't imagine being your situation," June says.

"Wow, thanks for having my back mom," Jean says jokingly. "But if not me, pick Connie. He's a good person."

"Oh, Jean, don't do that to yourself. You're lovely." You cup his cheek and his reddened face returns.

Jean's mom starts talking about Jean when he was a kid- how he was such a big softie and a great helper,  how he was popular in high school but still to himself, and all the girlfriends and boyfriends that she didn't like.

It was getting late. Jean's mom offered you her home but Jean stopped her before she could ask. You didn't question why he didn't want to stay at her home but still wondered why. You said your goodbyes, watched her lock the bakery, and drive off. Jean helps you into his car and gets into the drivers' seat.

"You know why she wanted to you go home with her?" he asks.

You shake your head no. "There's only one bed. A twin size bed," Jean says as he starts the car. You let out a chuckle. "Connie's parents tried that with us except Connie had a bigger bed."

Jean looks over at you. "Oh...I should have probably taken her offer."

"Connie and I didn't do anything that night...maybe you could give me a sample of what you can do. It'll help me decide."

Jean didn't hesitate to lean over and cup your cheek. He went in first. Jean was gentle and careful with your lips. You soon gave in and wrapped a hand on his wrist. When things started to get hot, you pulled away. "Didn't expect you to be that gentle...You really want me, huh?"

"Yeah," Jean says scratching his neck. "You're pretty rough... you have experience?"

Whether you say yes or no is up to you.

Jean smiles at your answer and starts driving. You try to fall asleep but it's so hard. All you can see is Bertholdt, Connie, and Jean at the next elimination. You wished Eren or Onyankopon did stupid stuff later on and were a part of the final three so that this could be easier.

Hours later, Jean reaches the mansion. He thinks you're still asleep. He doesn't want to wake you up. So what does he do? Jean opens the passenger door and scoops you up in his arms. Your heart jumps. You hope it's dark enough outside so that he can't see the small smile you're trying not to crack.

It doesn't Jean long to get to the door and ring the doorbell. He must be really strong. The door opens and he's greeted by Connie.

"You need help with that man?"

"Um...no...I think I'll get her up there. But you could get her purse from my car though. She'll probably wonder where that is."

Connie probably gave him a non-verbal response since there was just silence after that. Jean got you up the stairs and struggled with your bedroom door but he got in within ten minutes. Jean turns on your lights, places you on the bed, and removes your shoes. He steps away but you hear ripping sounds proceeding by scribbling. You can hear Jean turning off your lights and closing the door behind him as he leaves. Your eyes flick open and you wait a few moments. You turn on the light on your bed stand to see the note Jean wrote you.

'Wasn't sure what to do with your clothes. It's not my place to decide that- at least not yet. But I hope you slept comfortably.'

You smile softly at the note. It was definitely something he would say.

i use YOUR opinions to not only put together dates but to put together personalities. if y’all say you hate bertholdt, i’ll work my magic to mess with y’all :) anyways here’s the link! ask good questions. this is the last time you’ll see bertholdt, jean, OR connie. vote and ask wisely

[settersloveletters]

hello i recently saw a post about sugar daddy kenma and i immediately thought like cld u write an angst (w good ending maybe?) w sugar daddy kenma but he actually falls in love w the reader but thinks she's just there for the money bc obviously she's a sugar baby and her being in love w kenma but thinks o well he probably has other sugar babies so it doesn't mean anything if that makes sense ckfmsk

— 11:11; oneshot

a/n: this one was actually so fun to write, but it took me maybe more than 6 hours to write and it’s currently 6 am aha (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ anyways, i hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it ♡ this also became over the word limit for our scenarios so i made it into a oneshot whoops

➳ request: kenma is y/n’s sugar daddy who falls in love with her + angst

➳ characters: sugar daddy!kenma x sugar baby f!reader

➳ word count: 3.4k

➳ warnings: daddy kink + light nsfw

➳ admin: kiri ♡

↳ lowercase intended

[9:01] kenma: did you get the gift darling?

[9:01] y/n: yes daddy, i love it <33

[9:02] y/n: image.jpeg

kenma smirked to himself after opening the image of you showing off his latest gift for you. having been in a ‘sugaring’ relationship with you for a little over a year, he knew what you were into. meaning he knew what types of gifts that would get you riled up. his gift for you this time was a baby pink soft sheer slip on dress. you always loved pastel colours over the usual dominating red and black colours other sugar babies would choose.

[9:05] y/n: baby :(

[9:05] y/n: did you not like the picture :(

oh how lucky kenma was to have a sugar baby like you. you were definitely one of a kind in the world.

[11:06] kenma: sorry love, i was just admiring how delectable you look in that little dress i got you

[11:06] kenma: why don’t you come over tonight?

[11:07] y/n: i’m sorry baby i can’t :(

[11:07] y/n: you know i have that paper i need to write for my psychology class

and there was the one flaw about you. whenever kenma suggested you coming over to his place, not to do anything dirty you h-word people, you always managed to be busy. whether it be with work, or school, even when he offered to pay for your rent and your tuition. you always declined.

that’s where kenma’s thoughts split into two. you never asked for anything really. it was usually kenma giving you gifts he thought you would enjoy, which you did. however, when it came to spend more time together privately, you gently declined. he would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to do, don’t get him wrong, but he did in fact want to get closer to you.

why you ask? why would a sugar daddy that agreed to a no-sex relationship want to get intimately closer with his sugar baby? well the answer was simple of course.

he fell in love with you.

after one year of texting, one year of taking you out on little dates to the aquarium or on a picnic at the park, kozume kenma had fallen in love, with you. to the unsuspecting eye, the two would seem like a normal couple, and not as a sugar daddy and a sugar baby. if only that were true. at least to kenma.

[11:10] kenma: that’s okay darling, you know how much i want you to focus on school

[11:10] y/n: i knew you’d understand

[11:11] y/n: 11:11, make a wish baby :)

i wish that you felt the same as me. i wish that we weren’t in this type of relationship. i wish that i could just call you mine. i wish that i could just shower you with love. i wish that you loved me, as much as i loved you.

[11:11] kenma: i wish that my darling would go focus on her paper so that i could take her out on another date

[11:11] y/n: daddy why are you so cute :(

[11:12] kenma: what’s your wish my love

[11:12] y/n: tsk tsk, it’s 11:12 and you know the rules daddy

[11:12] kenma: oh how you tease me darling

kenma laughed time himself at the banter you both had. you were completely different than the other girls he has ever encountered. the way you were down to earth, yet the playfulness you had deep down. kenma loved everything about you. but he doubted that you would ever feel the same about him. for now he was content with what you had. as much as it hurt, he didn’t wanna lose you.

[11:13] y/n: i better go finish that paper, i’ll talk to you later baby

[11:13] kenma: how about tomorrow we go out after your classes are done. we can go to your favourite café to celebrate the coming of a new weekend.

[11:14] y/n: mm, sounds great i’ll see you tomorrow <3

kenma went to bed that night, dreaming about the moment he would get to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you into his chest as you both fall asleep to each other’s soft breathing

kenma waited in his car a metres away from the entrance to your university. he decided to surprise you and pick you up and drive together to your favourite café. that was his plan at least. until he got a new text message from you.

[5:05] y/n: i’m so sorry daddy, but something came up :( can we reschedule that café date

as disappointed as kenma was, he knew that you would never cancel one of your outings together unless for a good reason. he was too soft for you.

[5:06] kenma: don’t worry about it darling, are you alright?

[5:06] y/n: yeah dw i’m fine, i’ll talk to you later tonight tho <33

putting his phone away, kenma drove off gripping his steering wheel. it’s been a week or two since he last saw you in person and he missed you. he missed seeing your smile in person. missed hearing your soft voice. the way your laugh sounded like he was in heaven. kenma was definitely head over heels in love with you.

sighing to himself, he decided to head over to your favourite café anyways since he himself liked their dark roast coffee. he parked a few feet away from the café, next to the curb side of the main road. just when he was about to get out, a familiar figure could be spotted from the corner of his eye. he looked up to see you walking out of the café you two visited often together with another man dressed in a nice suit.

kenma’s heart stopped. who was that man you were with? was he another sugar daddy of yours? is he the reason why you cancelled on him? were you really just like the other girls, seeking out any man that would waste their money on you? kenma glared at the back of both yours and the mysterious man’s heads. he really thought you were content with what you both had already. you told him that he was the only guy that served as a sugar daddy for you. but now, it looked like you wanted more. and kenma was not having it.

from that moment, kenma started to distance himself from you. he stopped texting you all the time. cut down the gifts he sent you, and just forced himself to stop thinking about you. that was easier said than done.

of course you noticed, and you even tried to ask him what was wrong. always getting a dry reply or no reply at all. you were confused. one second you both were having your usual

fun and playful banter, and the next second kenma’s giving you the cold shoulder. could it be that he got bored of you?

did he start to seek out other sugar babies? you really believed that you and him had something special. a bond that would only occur once in a thousand lifetimes. as much as you wanted to figure out what was wrong, you already had your hands busy with something else, not to mention that you knew kenma that well to know when he was in one of his moods to leave him be or else he would snap. so you ignored the thoughts of him seeking other sugar babies and hoped that whatever was making him sad would cease.

kenma glared at the two figures that were outside his car. as hard as he tried, kenma just had to see you again. he missed you that much. he went against what his brain was telling him and followed his heart, which led him to your condo building late one night. the condo building where you were currently outside of with the same mysterious man he saw at the café. he assumed the very worst. you did in fact get another sugar daddy. and by the looks of you inviting him up to your place, kenma guessed that you had a completely different relationship with him than what you two agreed on. maybe you were just with him for his money. you really weren’t different at all.

kenma had enough. he drove himself to the closest bar and got himself completely wasted. who doesn’t want a drink when their heart was just ripped out of their chest and stomped on. kenma drinking was a rare occurrence that happened once or twice every few months. he would need to be be completely out of his mind to bring himself to a bar to just drink like a mad man. and that’s what he was doing then and there.

after an hour or so, kenma was completely gone. he wasn’t one of those drunkards who would stagger around or outside the bar mouthing off whatever was on their minds. no kenma was one of the silent types. but they do say that the silent ones are the most deadly ones. as he was sitting at the bar table, kenma brought out his phone. opening a text chat he hasn’t opened in a while.

[11:09] kenma: fuck you

[11:09] kenma: i hate you so much

[11:09] y/n: kenma? are you okay?

ordering yet another drink, kenma flares at the screen in front of him.

[11:10] kenma: i never wanna see your lying, gold-digging face ever again

[11:10] kenma: you’re the worst thing that ever happened to me

[11:10] y/n: kenma, baby? were you out drinking? what are you even saying?

[11:11] kenma: oh look it’s your favourite time of the day. eleven-fucking-eleven. let’s see what do i wish for this time. i wish that i never fucking met you. i wish that i could go in time and stop myself from agreeing to meet you. because all you are is another lying slut that would do anything for money. i wish that i could erase everything i know about you. i wish that you and me never happened.

[11:11] kenma: it doesn’t matter. i don’t care about you. i have all these other sugar babies that would come crawling to me. you’re just another bitch that’s desperate for money.

[11:12] y/n: if you have all these other bitches then you really don’t need me. goodbye kozume kenma. screw you.

[11:12] y/n: this person has blocked you. you can no longer send any messages.

after all that happened last night, kenma was somehow in the right state of mind to not drunk drive and managed to message his best friend, kuroo tetsuro. coincidentally, kuroo was the same person who introduced you to kenma. kuroo, after seeing his friend’s text, picked kenma up from the bar and dropped him off at his house leaving the poor guy to wake up with a massive hangover. kenma remembered everything that happened. it didn’t help that he still had the text messages on his phone, yet he couldn’t bare to delete them for some odd reason.

the rest of the week followed slowly for kenma, as he tried to adjust his life without you. fate had different plans though. it wasn’t done with you and kenma.

although kenma had newfound bitter memories, the café you and kenma went to had his favourite coffee. as kenma fixed the cuffs of his suit, walking up to the café doors, he bumped into someone.

“sorry about that.” he heard a deep voice apologize.

kenma looked up, his eyes widening as he realized the man that bumped into him was the same man he always saw with you. oh how fate loved to toy with the both of you. before either kenma or the man could say anything, a soft voice could be heard coming out of the café.

“dad, are you sure you’re gonna be okay taking the train back ho- kenma?” before you could finish your sentence you stopped right next to your father and stared at the man that broke your heart just a week ago. even then, you could feel something pulling at your chest as you stared at the pudding headed male.

“don’t worry about me y/n, your old man isn’t that hopeless anymore.” your dad chuckled, ruffling your hair despite your protests. “besides it seems like you know this gentleman, might as well spend the afternoon together. i’ll take off now.”

your father gave a small kiss to your forehead before getting into a taxi that would drive him to the closest train station. the air suddenly turned tense as both you and kenma looked anywhere but each others’ eyes.

breaking the silence kenma asked, “that was your father?”, to which you simply nodded playing with your fingers. it was a habit that you did whenever you were feeling anxious about something. kenma grinned at the thought.

“i-i better go.” you started to walk off, before kenma grabbed your wrist halting your movements.

“wait, we need to talk.”

you turned your head and stared at him. kenma’s eyes widened as he stared into yours. he could see them start to glass, filled with hurt and rage. hurt and rage caused by him.

“don’t you have some other girls to attend to?” you bitterly spat out turning away again. you grit your teeth as you tried to hold in your tears.

“y/n, please-“

“i have nothing to say to you.” you said, pulling your wrist away. you started to walk off until his voice could be heard,

“please y/n, i’ll give you space. just please meet me at our spot at 10:00 tonight.”

you didn’t say anything and walked off, leaving kenma to watch as your figure disappeared down the sidewalk.

10:30

you still weren’t there. kenma sat on the swing that hung from the big oak tree above him. 30 minutes past the initial time he told you, and you still weren’t there. kenma was just about to give up and go home, when he heard your familiar light footsteps. he looked up to see you there, shining in the moonlight.

“you came.” he breathed out, relieved. you gave him a sheepish smile, before taking a seat next to him on the swing.

the two of you swung in silence, just admiring the night sky in silence. this place was memorable for you both. it was where you both first went out, and agreed to a sugar daddy/baby relationship. you both visited this place often as it wasn’t well known around the community, but was close enough to kenma’s place. it held a special place in both your hearts.

“i was drunk and stupid and i didn’t know what i was saying.” kenma said, breaking the silence. “i was just so angry and hurt when i saw you with someone else at our café. i thought you were seeing another man when you told me you weren’t.”

you stayed silent, waiting for kenma to continue.

“i know that doesn’t excuse the fact that i got drunk and texted you all these things that are definitely not true and i can’t believe i even said those things to you”

“you called me, and i quote, ‘a lying slut that would do anything for money.” you said, a bitter-tone lacing those words.

“i know, and i regret everything i said. i-i was just hurt and the next thing i knew i was drinking and texting you, and i just wanna reverse everything that happened.” kenma bent over, putting his head in his hands.

“well it’s not like you’re the only one at fault,” you said, “i was keeping something from you after all.”

kenma glanced up at you, as you stared at the full moon which was your only source of light.

“that man you probably saw, which by now you probably know, was my dad. he was in a rough spot ever since i was young, my mom dying too soon and leaving my dad to raise me as a child.” you started off.

“he’s had trouble with money and it was becoming too much for me. once i turned 18 i left my hometown and moved here. got a job and worked hard to pay for my rent and my schooling.” kenma saw you smile sadly at the ground.

“why didn’t you tell me, you know i could’ve-“ he started to say before you cut him off.

“i didn’t wanna ask for your help. you already do so much for me, asking help for this matter was something i was never gonna bring up.”

you both stayed silent again.

“so what happened after?” kenma asked as he glanced at you.

“well my dad contacted me a few months ago, probably 6 months into what started between us. and i helped him find a stable job. he came down to visit me after so long of not seeing each other.” you explained.

kenma let out a breathy laugh, throwing his head back as he held his arm over his eyes. he couldn’t believe that he was that jealous, that insecure, that crazy about you.

“you drive me insane.” he said.

“well the feelings mutual.” you shot back.

kenma sat upright and stared at you. the silence returned once again, and the both of you just stared at each other. kenma brought a hand up to your cheek, brushing the surface with his thumb. leaning into his hand, you gazed at him.

after weeks of not seeing each other, or even touching each other it looked like you two were at your limits. as kenma leaned down, you leaned up and the both of you met in the middle, lips connecting as both of kenma’s hands cupped your face. you wrapped your arms around his neck, to which kenma broke away from your lips and moved down your jawline, giving you small kisses up until he got to your neck.

“kenma,” you breathed out.

“ah ah, what did you call me?” he brought his mouth back up to the side of your head, softly biting your earlobe.

“d-daddy,” you panted out, your mind going crazy as kenma continued to plant kisses around your neck.

“that’s my girl,” he praised.

you and kenma burst through his front door still attached to one another, as kenma pushed you against the wall right when you entered the apartment. putting a knee in between your legs, kenma unbuttoned the top two buttons of your shirt, showing your collarbone. as kenma planted more love-bites across your chest, his hands roamed your waist.

you tried to hold in the sounds you were making, however that did not sit well with kenma. with one hand, he held your hands above your head, and with the other he grabbed your face to make you look at him.

“what did i say about holding in those cute little sounds for me”

“t-that you would punish me.” you whimpered. smirking, kenma lifted you by the thighs and carried you off to his bedroom.

once kenma shut his bedroom door he threw you into his bed, climbing over you and stealing your pair of lips once again. kenma glanced over at the clock that sat on his dresser and pulled away from you.

“look what time it is my love” he said softly to you. you turned your head to the clock he was staring at and before your eyes read the time, 11:11.

“11:11, make a wish” you smiled softly at kenma. he brought his head down once again, giving you a small peck on the lips.

“i wish that i had the courage to tell you this sooner.” he muttered.

“tell me what?” you asked, a genuine look of confusion danced across your face.

“that i love you. that i’ve been in love with you. that i wish we would drop this sugar daddy and sugar baby relationship and just become a real couple” kenma whispered softly, hoping you didn’t hear him.

however, hearing everything he just said, you brought his face down to your lips once again, before pulling away saying, “well my love what if i told you i could make that wish a reality”

kenma let out a breath of relief, before stealing your lips once again. he started to unbutton the rest of your shirt as he moved down your neck, giving you small love bites, marking you as his. he couldn’t contain his excitement the moment he heard you panting and gasping.

kenma went to bed that night, wrapping his arms around your waist and pull you into his chest as you both fell asleep to each other’s soft breathing.

[spencers-dria]

Trauma

Someone To Stay Ch. 9

Spencer x fem reader

It's been several weeks since Y/N and I started our weekly movie nights. After starting Harry Potter we decided that we would keep watching our way through the series until we finished them. Last week I was out of town on all of her days off, but tonight we get to watch our favorite together, Prisoner of Azkaban. Seeing as we both love Halloween, this doesn't come as much of a surprise.

Last time I had asked to borrow her Harry Potter cookbook. As a surprise I've been cooking pumpkin pasties. I normally don't do much cooking, but this was well worth it. Movie night has become incredibly casual, so i slip into some purple pajama pants and a black t shirt before driving to her apartment. We decided movie nights would all take place at her apartment, seeing as she had the nice TV with a decent sound system. I had previously spent almost all my time reading, so all I had was my mom's old TV tucked away in the corner, only used when I felt the need to binge Dr. Who.

It's not long before i'm knocking at her door, warm snacks ready to go. She opens the door and looks down with a huge grin.

"Are those what I think they are?"

I nod, glad to see she's excited about them. After a moment I notice a pleasant smell wafting from the kitchen.

"You made something too?" I peek my head into the kitchen hoping to discover the source of the scent.

Y/N pulls out two mugs topped with foam, smiling like a giddy little kid. We both take a sip, and I feel the warmth filling me up as I take in the drink that tastes like Autumn in a cup. I've never had butter-beer before, but this is perfect. I look up to see whipped cream coating Y/N's upper lip, and based on the laugh she's holding back, I would guess I am sporting the same foam mustache. We both bust out in laughter. Something about spending time with Y/N makes me feel like a kid again. I know I can share my knowledge with her and she actually encourages me to do it quite often. But she also makes me feel like I can be goofy and silly and just have fun. I had almost forgotten what that feels like.

After we each curl up on our end of the couch with blankets and pillows, I can't help but realize how happy I have been having her as a friend in my life. Something about this realization pulls my mind in the opposite direction, and I suddenly find myself remembering why happiness feels like such a long forgotten stranger...Maeve. The name had not crossed my thoughts in weeks. This realization leaves me with a guilt that sits like a pit in my stomach. Before I know it, I am no longer focused on my favorite Harry Potter movie, but am spiraling into a dark hole once again. I lose myself so far into my thoughts that I almost don't notice that Y/N has stopped the movie and is staring straight at me.

I turn to her. "What is it?"

Y/N furrows her brow, a deep look of concern filling her eyes.

"Spencer, you're crying."

"I am?" I reach up to feel the wet streaks left behind on my cheek. I hadn't even realized. Now not only have I been crying in front of Y/N, but she knows something is wrong. Knowing her, she won't let this go so easily. I also doubt she'll buy any lie I try to feed her. She may not be a profiler, but she sure knows when someone she cares about isn't being genuine with her.

Luckily, she must also know me better than I realize. She doesn't push me too hard for information. She scoots over to my side of the couch before laying a hand on my shoulder. I keep my eyes glued to my lap, avoiding eye contact as best I can. I'm afraid that if I look into her eyes now, I'll completely fall apart. Something about telling your friends about your trauma makes it very real, and I don't want to relive that day, not again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm not sure..." I answer honestly.

Instead of pushing me, she moves her hand to rub my back as we sit there in silence. Something about the kindness of this gesture finally breaks me. I let my head fall into my hands as tears start streaming down my face, and I don't even bother trying to stop them. I can't hold this back anymore, not from someone who's become like a best friend to me.

We sit there just like that for several minutes, Y/N silently rubbing my back, me crying like a big baby. Part of me feels embarrassed, breaking down like this, but the other part is too tired from holding all of this back to even care anymore.

Finally, I think my body has run out of tears when I hear Y/N say "What can I do? What do you need?" It's so quiet I almost miss it.

"Her name was Maeve." I am surprised to hear the words leave my mouth. I glance over to Y/N to gauge her reaction, but she's only sitting there, listening patiently.

"I started getting these headaches. They became so crippling that they started affecting my work. It scared me because...well my mom is schizophrenic. I guess I have always been a little paranoid about showing symptoms. The doctors ran tests, labs, scans...everything they could think of. As a last resort I reached out to this geneticist. After a bit of correspondence, it wasn't difficult to see that she was brilliant. She seemed to enjoy keeping in touch, so we would write one another letters. We eventually started calling one another. But...she had a stalker. She didn't know who it was or what they wanted, but she was scared. That's why we wrote letters. And I only ever called her from telephone booths, never the same one twice. I ended up sharing a large part of my life with her... One time before hanging up the phone she even said "love you" like it was the most normal thing in the world. I never said it back, but even if what I felt was love I never got the chance to say it to her. Her stalker was a former grad student, and she got to Maeve before I could."

I stop and take in a deep breath, swallowing the growing lump in my throat before continuing.

" She shot herself in front of me, killing Maeve along with her. It was the first time I had ever seen her in person too. It happened a couple months ago. Every time I think i've moved on it feels like the pain starts all over again. I sometimes feel guilty for even trying to move on, for ever being happy."

Y/N doesn't say a word as she lets me speak. She just nods, taking in every word. After a couple minutes of silence, she lets out a large breath before finally opening her mouth to speak.

"Spencer, I can't pretend to even come close to understanding what you are going through. I wish I had the answers. I wish I could tell you when the pain will go away, but the truth is it will probably never fully leave you. Trauma has a way of sticking with us. We learn how to process it and cope with it more efficiently, but it's never truly gone. Now I can't pretend to know what Maeve would have wanted for you, but as your friend who's with you now I want to tell you its okay to be happy. Its also okay to not be okay sometimes. No one has it together all of the time. It's ok to talk about it, to cry about it, and there's no right or wrong time. Trauma has a way of sneaking up on us, triggering us when we least expect it. And whatever you need to be ok, whatever you need to do in order to deal with this, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you. You can always call me if you need to talk or come over. Even if you just need a distraction from it, if you find yourself slipping into a dark place, you can call me, and we will talk about literally anything else or go find somewhere to grab dessert or watch a movie. If you need someone to just sit with you, I'll be there. What I'm trying to say is whenever you're ready, just tell me what you need and I'll be there for you."

I feel like I could cry again, but luckily I don't. Instead, I turn on the couch to face Y/N and just pull her in for a hug, resting my head on her shoulder. This alone is all I need to at least be okay, even if just for tonight. As someone who lives alone, my only real family living across the US, no one ever really knows just how much I crave touch. It's not exactly like I can just approach JJ, Garcia, or Morgan and say "Hey I could really use a hug today." It's a love language for me, but I go weeks without touching a single person. It wears me down sometimes. Sitting here, hugging Y/N, is the most comforted I have felt in a really long time.

I want to tell her the other reason I'm struggling. About the cravings I have to battle when things are already emotionally challenging. I decide I'm not ready to share that quite yet. It's not that i don't trust her, but if it's going to affect the way she sees me, I want to put that off as long as possible.

I also take a minute to go over the words she's said to me. I can't help but notice her tone, her body language, the look on her face. She may be great at comforting people, especially since it's part of her job, but those were the words of someone who knew. She spoke from a place of fully understanding trauma, which tells me one thing: She has had trauma of her own. I make a mental note to bring it up later. I don't want to push her, but I want to make sure she knows she has the same support from me incase she ever needs to talk.

We sit there for a few more minutes, her arms wrapped around me. My breathing eventually slows down as I try to get my sniffles under control. I feel my head start to pound from how hard I have been crying. I sit back to rub my hands into my temples. Y/N stands up and makes her way into the kitchen, returning a couple minutes later with a cold water bottle, a box of tissues, and some aspirin.

She starts to walk out of the room before turning to me.

"I think I've got something that might help you feel a little better. It can't heal with heartbreak, but maybe it can help you to relax and take your mind off everything, if even for a little while."

"Y/N, you take care of people all day at work you don't have to..,"

"Hey!" She cuts me off before I can finish. "Why do you think I became a nurse huh? I enjoy taking care of people. And if I can help, even just a little, I won't feel so completely useless in this situation."

"Y/N, you've already helped. Just listening, being here with me. But I guess its no use arguing with you, you're too stubborn." A small breathy laugh leaves my nose and I glance up to see a small smile before she steps out of the room.

She returns a few minutes later and doesn't say a word. Instead she grabs both my hands and pulls me off the couch, leading me into the guest bathroom.

A take a look around at everything she had gotten ready.

"A bubble bath?" I shoot her a look of uncertainty.

"Just trust me okay." She rolls her eyes playfully. "I'll be in the living room. Just shout if you need me okay?"

I decide to just go with it. She leaves, shutting the door behind her and flipping of the lights. The room is suddenly glowing in light from candles scattered all around the bathroom. After slipping into the bath, I tense up at how hot the water is before it finally relaxes all my muscles. Breathing in, I notice the smell of eucalyptus and lavender filling the air. There is also a bluetooth speaker in the corner, softly playing zen spa music with the trickle of a rain in the background.

I have to admit, this is the most relaxed I have felt in...well I can't remember ever feeling this relaxed. Baths always seemed a bit girly, but this was incredibly therapeutic. I may have to try this again after my next difficult case.

When I finally decide to get out, I realize I'll have to change back into the same clothes. I quickly realize Y/N had also laid out a  star wars t shirt and black sweatpants for me. She thought of everything. With her being on the taller side and enjoying baggy clothes, they actually fit me fairly well.

When I finally step back into the living room she looks up at me and grins.

"Looking good Dr. Reid!"

She never calls me that, and for some reason it makes me blush just slightly. She pats the spot next to her on the couch, signaling for me to come over.

"Well, how do you feel?"

"Umm I wasn't sure about the whole bath thing but... I feel fantastic actually! How did you know that would help?"

"When you do what I do, you have to find multiple ways to unwind" she laughs.

I glance down at the shirt I'm wearing.

"So Star Wars huh?"

Y/N smirks "Are you really that surprised?"

I answer with a laugh "No I suppose not."

"Well I hope you like them too, because that's what I had lined up when it was my turn to pick for movie night!"

I can't help but hide a giant grin. I was happy to hear she wanted to continue our movie nights. Between all the Harry Potter movies and Star Wars movies combined, it seemed like we'd be spending a lot more time together.

"Is it okay if we finish the movie?" I am hoping I didn't completely ruin the night with my breakdown.

"I thought you'd never ask" she smiles before turning to the TV and resuming the movie.

As I watch the characters making their way into the shrieking shack, I feel my eyes grow heavy. I guess I had gotten a little too relaxed, as I am now struggling to stay awake through the rest of the movie.

When I open my eyes I notice the room is no longer glowing from the light of the TV but from the daylight streaming in through the windows. I realize i'm stretched across Y'N's couch, under one of her many fuzzy blankets. I sit up and look around, noticing Y/N is no longer there. After checking her kitchen and bedroom, I start to worry. Before I start to call her on the phone, I notice movement outside the window. I make my way onto the patio balcony to see her sitting on her bench with a book in her hands. At the sound of the door, she looks up and meets my gaze, smiling as she closes her book.

"Good morning sunshine" she says laughing just a bit.

"What happened?" I ask, joining her on the bench outside, running my hands through my hair as I attempt to fully wake up.

"Well, after awhile I noticed you fell asleep. I really thought it would be best to just let you get your rest."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..." I start before she cuts me off.

"Its no problem! Not last night and not any other time. You are always welcome here." She gives me a warm, genuine smile. I know this is a sincere offer, one I'm sure I will take her up on again.

[arthemis-forge]

Chapter 3 Body and Soul (Crimson)

Warnings: None (future nsfw)

A/N: Hello guys! Sorry for the delay, what happens is that I was a little busy with some personal things but I'm back.

I will try to update twice a week and each time as we progress through the story, make the chapters longer. Another thing is I didn't notice that the previous chapter i published the draft instead of the final version. Which had many otorgraphic and writing errors. But it's already corrected. If you find something let me know so I can fix it. Also I am very happy for all the support, thank you for your lovely comments. Another thing, Do you want me to create a tag list?. Please tell me in the comments. That's all I wanted to say. Enjoy your reading! 🖤

Chapter 3(Crimson)

Lost in my thoughts, I walked towards the exit of the building while i was looking at the sky with some concern. It wouldn't be long before the sun rise.

And honestly, I was very scared. I did'nt know anyone in this city and didn't know what time it was in the area. My life was in danger and although I was sure that I still had time based on what the sky looked like.

I was still very worried about not knowing what time it was exactly. Looking at my watch was in vain. It was scheduled for London time not New York.

I was very nervous but I had to calm down. So i calculated that there were 2 hours left until the sun rise. And although it sounds like it's a lot of time, I don't know how much traffic there is in this city. And I needed to be in the nearest hotel as soon as posible.

Again I was so lost in my thoughts that I did not notice that a taxi parked in front of me, it was not until I heard the drivers voice that I noticed it.

—Good night miss, are you waiting for someone else? Or do you need me to take you somewhere? —

Hearing that question made me feel more relaxed again.

—Sure, I actually have nowhere to go. Could you recommend a hotel near here. One with good facilities. The price point doesn’t matter but I really need to get a good place to relax, preferably the closest hotel to the airport.—

I told him as I opened the door and carried my suitcase.

—Of course ma'am, in fact we are close to many good hotels. They are a few streets away. Would you like me to take you to see the exteriors and based on how they look you choose one?. I assure you that they are all very good, some more than others but none are bad. —

The man smiled while he waited for my answer.

I sighed feeling realised.

—Yes please, I would like it very much. —

The man laughed as he drived the car.

—You are not from here are you? I can tell by your accent. —

I nodded as i looked out the window. Analyzing the area I was in.

—That's right, I'm from London. I was transferred from my job. —

—That's so interesting. Sounds like fun to have a job where you travel a lot. —

—Well yeah you're not wrong. But I also needed to start a new life. —

I confessed while we entered to a large avenue with many buildings with hotels and apartments. Some were prettier than others.But nothing look bad about them.

—Is one of you liking? Or do you want me to go further so you can see more options?. —

The truth is that I could already choose one of the many hotels that were on the street. And I couldn't be so demanding, since i needed a safe place away from natural light as soon as possible. But a hunch told me to accept the man's proposal.

—Sure, I think we can see a few more options.—

No matter how much the car moved forward, nothing interested me. It wasn't until we reached the corner of the avenue that a large black building with Victorian architecture caught my attention. On the outside it had an ad with red calligraphy that said "Crimson".

—Stop here, I like this one. —

I pointed to the old building.

—I’m sorry to tell you this, but that hotel is very strict. They do not allow the entry to anyone who doesn't have a membership. It has already happened several times that I leave people here and they end up removing them from the place.—

—Don't worry I will try to enter. If i can´t then I’ll choose one of the hotels that are on this street. How much do I owe you? —

—If you insists, it’s $30 dollars.—

I nodded as I handed over his money.

—Thank you very much, also keep the change. —

I took my suitcase and closed the car's door as I approached the entrance of the building. However I was stopped at the door by a very tall man with brown hair and grey eyes.

— Good night, Miss. Could you give me your membership please. —

Embarrassed, I bit my lower lip and then proceeded to do something I didn't wanted.

—You're going to let me in no matter the rules of the place or what your bosses say. —

I smiled already knowing the results of my action. The man nodded and then open the door for me.

Once inside I noticed that a tall girl with black hair and violet eyes smiled at me as she applauded me.

—That was so wesome, Alice. Just as I expected, James didn't cause you any trouble. —

The girl approached very excited.

—Who are you and why do you know my name?—

I asked very confused and feeling insecure. Since she was aware of what I had just done and the worst thing was that she knew my name. This was getting very strange and I was not liking it.

—I am Grace Crimson. Owner of the hotel and great friend of your Boss Nat. —

—Do you know Nat? —

I said in a very incredulous voice.

—Of course Alice. But hey that is the least important thing right now, let me show you your room and I give you Nats phone number so you can call her.—

While I was trying to process the information, one of the attendants took my suitcase.

—Did Nat tell you in any way that I will come here? —

She just laughed at my question.

— I knew you'd say that. Don't be silly, honey. You are acting like a newborn vampire in the clan. Look dear, I'll explain. I can see the future. Today I had a vision of you in which I saw you giving orders to my guard right outside my hotel. It should be noted that I was concerned, because I didn't knew who you were, so I called all the offices until I found some information about you. To at least make sure that you weren't dangerous to us and to be able to take the necessary measures. By the way, I don't want you to feel bad about what I told you. But these are difficult times and we must take care of each other. —

Of course she was right, what a fool I was. I have been so involved in my personal feelings and problems that I overlook the fact that many in our community have that ability.

—Don't worry, it's okay Grace. I understand. I know how the security protocol works. And I also understand perfectly that you investigated me and that you needed to know who I was. —

I confessed.

—I already knew you were going to say that tho. Hey you are more friendly and understanding than I expected from someone who can control people's minds with their voice. No ofence but your kind is usually a very pretentious. —

I couldn't help laughing at that comment.

—I was like that many years ago, but someone changed me. I try not to abuse my powers too much, only when it’s necessary. —

I lowered my gaze to caress a silver ring with a red diamond that I had on my ring finger.

When she saw how my mood changed, she immediately hug me.

—Don't torment yourself over the past. —

She took me by the hand to walk me through those long corridors of the building. I must admit that I felt a little emotional. The place reminded me a lot of my grandmother's house.

—Here is your room, as you can see it is very spacious, it has a king size bed, living room, bathroom with a bathtub and a beautiful balcony. Also here is Nat's phone number. And don't forget to close all the curtains including the ones on the bed. —

She handed me the keys, a red card and a pos it with Nat’s new number.

—James leave the suitcase on her bed. —

The man obeyed her order and put the suitcase on my bed.

—Sure Grace. Thank you very much for all the hospitality. It has been a long time since I felt welcomed in a place. —

She smiled

—I know we are going to be very good friends. —

After that she closed the door behind me.

It's amazing how someone's life could change in an instant.

One day you are in London crying for your ex and the next day you are in New York and you're dreaming with a man who doesn’t even exist.

Thinking about that, I began to close all the curtains in the room and then i took the phone from the bureau next to the bed.

With some fear I called her, I knew that she would be very upset with me. But i had to do it.

—Hey nat it's me, Alice. —

—You are an idiot, I was so worried! Never do that to me ever again! I thought you wanted to kill yourself or something like that...

You sounded so sad. God you have take some therapy you can't continue living like this...—

I sigh very annoyed.

— Anyway, I already spoke with Bruce and he already gave you permission to work in New York. And before I forget to tell you this. Tomorrow you have a job to do. I need you in a bar, we think we found someone who can serve us for the clan. You will have to go to a concert near a local bar in the town. Grace will leave you the papers with the man's information.—

—Perfect. By the way, thank you very much for the favor. You don't know how grateful I am with you. Anyways, I will leave you, I am very tired and I would like to sleep as much as possible to be in the best possible conditions tomorrow—

—Of course dear. Have a good night. —

Grateful to Nat, I hung up the call and then closed my eyes. But not without first remembering Peter's beautiful green eyes.

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Blood, tears and sea breeze

So, I adore David Tennant, besides Daniel Radcliffe we could said he is my longest lasting celebrity crush since 2009 and thank god he bless us every couple years with his presence, so since I was fangirling over how cute and sexy and adorable he is in Good Omens I needed to rewatch Broadchurch, I refrained myself to watch Ten again because I know exactly how that would end and I'm waiting to my vacations to be that emotionally devastated. But Alec Hardy is just as good as Ten to write so I had this crazy idea for a story, like who doesn't love a murder mystery?? Of course trying to follow the tone of the series it may be a little dark, but I'm really excited about writing it, so I hope you like it.

Warnings: SO MUCH ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 1: Nicest man alive

"What about Cath Atwood?" Beth Latimer poured more wine in DS Miller glass and before looking back at the man who was standing uncomfortable in her kitchen she add "I mean yes, she's 53 but she is still good looking and she dump that arse she had for a husband years ago."

"For the last time, I don't need you to set me up with anyone, why are you doing this Miller?" DI Hardy look at both women with an exasperated expression, and continued doing the dishes from the dinner they just had.

"It's called having friends, and being social, also since Daze left you are on your own, you can't be alone in that house all the time" Ellie answered, tonight was the Latimer's time to offer dinner and even when he complained everytime Alec keep showing up on time and helping with the dishes after. "You'll get insane and then you'll drive me insane at work"

"Oi! If the man says he is fine, then he is fine" Mark went to hug his wife, since the last couple of months that he was back at the house the PDA were more common and even when it was awkward at times Beth do enjoyed them. "Also Cath is dating some bloke from the piers, what about your boss?" He said to his still blushing wife.

"Sahana? No way, she would eat him alive!" Ellie said laughing at the murderous look Hardy was giving her. "What about Y/N Y/L/N? You know Lizzie's teacher from last year? She is pretty, is she single?"

"Oh for fuck sake!, cut it already" Alec was done with the dishes and took the glass Mark offer him "And she is engaged" three pair of eyes looked at him in disbelief of him knowing such detail. "Oh don't look at me like that, Lizzie said it to Freddie the other night, Miss Y/L/N is engaged with the nicest man alive"

"Well he is pretty handsome" Said beth nodding "He helps Paul at the church twice a week and volunteers at SARA frequently"

"The good looking one with blonde hair?" Asked Ellie remembering suddenly "He is not from here is he?"

"No, he arrived here five years ago, and lives near the Trader's. Nige and I fixed his sink once" Mark said "His name is John or Jim, can't remember". They kept thinking on viable partners for Alec until his phone start ringing.

"Hardy" He answered relieved he finally had an excuse to abandon that stupid conversation "You found her where? Has she said something? Yeah we are on our way, thanks Harford" He hung up and give Miller a meaningful look.

"That bad?" She asked putting her glass apart and picking up her bag.

"Worst" He simply said already exiting the room "Thanks for the dinner" He said as a goodbye and went to the door.

"Fred can stay here" Beth said before Ellie could ask and she thanked her with a nod before running after Alec.

"Where to?" Ellie said putting on her seatbelt and starting the car

"Corner of Star and Carter's lane, just exiting the A35" He said immediately "A driver almost hit a woman in the middle of the road"

"Then why they called us?" She asked puzzled since that was not their department.

"According to Hardford she was covered in blood and kept screaming He is dead, forensic is already there taking samples, but apparently there were a lot of people at the road and it's all over Twitter and YouTube already" He said angrily

"It's gonna be a bloody nightmare" Ellie said understanding his frustration. "Did she said who was the woman?"

"You are not gonna believe this, is that school teacher you were just talking about, Y/N Y/L/N". He said looking at the road.

"What? I hope she is not hurt" She speed up, by then the sun was already setting, after two years of relative calm Miller could feel the difficulties approaching, and the pain luring again trying to swallow their little town again. She looked to her left to see Alec, he could feel it to, but she knew in his case there was a spark of gratitude in his expression, a new puzzle to work in and he was ready for it.

The man in the white biohazard suit was talking, but her ears still felt numb, the bright lights inside the white tent were to strong and her head was starting to hurt so bad, she knew what would happen next, and she was hoping it happen for once, because she wanted to forget, she want the whole world to shut down because her own world had.

"Miss Y/L/N? Y/N" someone called, why do they keep bothering me? She thought, I'm not the one who needs help, he is... she felt the tears running down her eyes again, his blood was on her hands, his eyes... he was not there, they were his eyes but he was not there, and this people were busy brushing q-tips on her shoulders and her legs, why weren't they helping him? Then she felt it the pressing pain in her chest taking away the air in her lungs. The desperation to breathe forcing her to open her mouth widely, but no this time, this time she wanted to stop breathing completely, she wanted to see him again and that was the only way.

"Jonathan" she said before his brain finally gave in to oxygen deficiency and everything went black.

Olly Stevens was happy, it felt like Christmas coming early, he drove the A35 as far as he could and parked his motorcycle next to the long line of cars that was already forming, most of the people were out of their respective automobiles gathering around the yellow tape, a lot of good pictures that surely will be tomorrow at the first pageThat would show Maggie, he thought with a pinch of remorse in his head, he took the decision to remain at the Broadchurch Echo after the former editor left and since working from home was a more rentable option for Caroline Hughes he had became the editor, even when his former mentor had called him out for sleeping his way to the top in the job, not entirely untrue, but he will not tell her that.

When he finally arrive to the yellow line he saw a familiar silhouette and run towards her aunt before the familiar voice of DI Hardy stoped in his tracks.

"What the fuck are you doing here already?" He growl at him.

"It's not my fault people find out about things before you" He said cheekily, over the last two years outsmarting Hardy had become a extreme sport for him, even when he knew one day he would end up with a black eye for it. "Come on just a few words, beautiful school teacher found dripping blood in the middle of the road, you had to admit is interesting"

"Oh for heavens sake Olly, pissed off or I'll call your mother" Ellie said, she was trying to talk on the phone and the look on her face when she saw him was violent to said the least, "No continue is just some little shit who is about to get his ass beaten"

The reporter backed away trying to found an angle to take the white forensics tent and to identify the man talking to the police a couple yards in front of him.

"It was Harford" Ellie said to his partner once she hung up with a migraine about to form in her head. "She leave the scene before we arrived to check how she got here, apparently her house is less than a mile from that road" she said signaling the small dirt road connecting to Carter's Lane."

"Good call" Hardy said forgetting the speech he was about to give his subordinate about leaving the crime scene "Did she find anything?"

"Yeah, we got a body" Miller said letting go a big sigh, thinking Here we go again "It's Y/L/N's fiance"

A dark figure walked peacefully in the beach, in the distance could see the lights of the town starting to shine, she must had find him by now, and the gears of the plan were already in motion all falling in their right place.

[allsystemsarenotgo]

A friend and I were talking one day, and she shared this with me.

She was much like me, raised with a quarter between the knees, terrified of the things we were taught to avoid and trying to live reasonably noble lives. She wasn't allowed Birth Control for religious reasons (pro-life) as well as to prevent enablism. Her family was much more religious than mile, though I still went to church during my Sophomore, Junior, and Senior years of high school.

She married a guy 10 years older than herself, who was a long-time routine customer of her family's business. They married right after she graduated high school, long before she applied to higher education.

She is a nurse now. She has 3 kids, works long hours at a hospital, and her husband is a successful farmer as he always has been. She struggled at times, but she made it through.

She knows life would have been easier without the first child, but she was innocent and naiive and I think she realizes that she jumped in the deep end of the pool before learning how to swim.

I did the same thing.

All through high school I pledged to abstinence until marriage. I hated everything to do with sex. The topic, the drama, the action, the result. I wanted nothing to do with it.

But I also never dated through grade school at all. I never had a girlfriend. Plenty of crushes (M.S. above being one of them), but just as many denials. Because I didn't drink, smoke, do drugs, have FFA animals, or play athletics, I also wasn't a member of any social group. I was always the kid in the corner of the cafeteria scarfing food down in 5 minutes and sleeping the other 20, or asking to go to a teacher's classroom, where it was serene and quiet.

My freshman year of college, I even wrote an essay on abstinents for English class. That really didn't go over well in regards to having to read it out loud. There might as well have been fruit flying at me.

My dorm was set up such that we had 3 private bedrooms that shared a living space and bathroom. One of the roommates always had girls over, and he never tried to be quiet (or if he did, he failed...badly).

So those two things were my indoctrination to college life. Getting judged and leered at for writing an abstinence essay, and having to listen to a roommate multiple times a week.

Towards the very end of my freshman year, a girl from high school messaged me. We started talking, and she admitted that she had always had a crush on me and was too shy to ever say anything.

Error #1: For no good reason whatsoever, I agreed to formulate a relationship with this female

So when I moved home from the dorms, I hung out with the lass a few times, but my parents were moving out of the country and closer to my school, so I could live at home. That meant that this would now be a 1.5-hour-each-way medium-distance relationship.

So every 4th or 6th weekend during the remainder of that summer and into the fall semester, I would drive up and spend a day with her. Sometimes, I would drive her out of the country and into the city to give her a glimpse of escape (it was very impoverished where we grew up).

Error #2: Doing whatever made her happy

I really enjoyed the time that we spent together. She got me a purity necklace for Christmas that year. She said she understood that my preference meant something to me.

But then, something changed. She would start dropping enuindos and jokes and send me photos that I didn't ask for.

Error #3: Not standing up for myself

She said that I meant something to her, and asked me if she meant something to me. At the time, I did not comprehend that as a trap...but I wanted to make her happy, so I said "yes".

The next thing I know, she is booking a hotel for us for Valentine's day. Wherein, I learned a thing or two or five or ten that I really wasn't interested in learning in the first place.

-Provides Clorox to help scrub the thoughts from your mind-

After that, she wanted me to come see her more and more often. But I was tied up with school and life.

Mind you, we usually had a phone call every night, or at least every other night. Same time, right before bed. Sometimes we would fall asleep on the phone with eachother.

Error #4: Accepting anything as fact

Well one night, I called her, and she answered...but it was noisy in the background, like she was driving. But she never talked while driving, and wouldn't answer the phone with family in the car.

She said she was in a friend's car and they were going to the beach for the night, which was completely reasonable for the time of year and her group of friends. She cut the conversation short saying they had arrive, so we bid our greeting. But she didn't hang up, and something told me that I shouldn't either. So I didn't.

"Who was that?"

"Don't mind him. He was just calling to check on me. He's controlling like that."

"He sounds like a jerk"

"Enough about him. He won't do this."

-Provides more clorox-

And that's how I found out that her primal needs were more important than our "relationship".

Unfortunately, shortly after I broke up with her, I was sent a photo of her quite visibly pregnant. Fortunately, the timetable did not add up to Valentine's day (aside of the fact that it was physically/biologically 95% impossible).

That summer, I started a job at the student newspaper. Right off the bat, one of the graphic artists and I got along very well. We spent way too much time at work talking to eachother and goofing off, instead of working. Enough so that our boss took notice and things got tense for a bit with him. We still cranked out work no problem, but we were both too young to understand workplace policy and procedure when it comes to "dating but not dating", which is basically exactly what we were doing. We spent alot of time together. I would go to her dorm after class and we would watch movies and just goof off or do whatever. We enjoyed time together.

Error #1: So cliché. So, so cliché.

So Valentine's day rolls around, and she asks 'the question'.

So something in biology: There is a term called "Once an animal has the taste of blood, they will always hunt for it." Unfortunately, humans can sometimes be considered a sub-species of the animal kingdom.

Like the dumbass that I am, I accept to the terms and conditions.

And at the end of the night, she asks: "So are we officially dating now?"

"I...I guess?", I answered nervously.

Errors #2 to #457: Not escaping

And just like that, I was suckered into nearly 2.5 years of having a FWB while having to, very creatively at times, mask it as a legitimate relationship.

We enjoyed the time we spent together.

We enjoyed going places together.

My mum liked her, her parents liked me. (Dad was skeptical at best and thought I could do better)

The small issue: I struggled to communicate at times. I didn't know how to find my voice, so there were times that I would have to text her how I felt. Sometimes I would hide in a corner just so I could cry. (I later learned of my autism, and it all made sense and I learned how to resolve this)

The big issue: I was completely burned out on intimacy. After almost 2.5 years of emulating laboratory rabbits, I was done. My usefulness had expired.

The biggest issue: We were both suffering academically. We had no common interests at all anymore, and we had put eachother ahead of our own academics so much that we were both risking academic expulsion.

So we mutually agreed to break up.

She dropped out of university (and never went back or finished her schooling), and I changed majors twice before getting my Bachelor of Science.

My first relationship lasted from June 2009 to April 2010.

My second "relationship" lasted from February 2011 until May 2012 (Although we started spending time together in significant amounts starting August 2010)

I have not had a girlfriend since May 2012.

I had one friend in my senior year of college, who gave me some non-physical affection while also keeping me firmly locked in the friendzone. But quality time, by itself, only goes so far.

I have not had any physical affection since May 2012.

I have not spent quality time with a female since May 2013.

For most of that time, from May 2013 to August 2019, I really didn't mind it at all. I have been so tied up in working, hobbies, and life in general, that I completely ignored women.

But as my birthday loomed near in October 2019, it donned on me....I was on a crash course to being eternally lonely.

So I have tried online dating. I have gone on a few first dates, but no second dates.

Sometimes, I want to give up. The fight just doesn't seem worth the reward.

And honestly?

Sometimes I feel exactly like my friend's remarks at the top of this post. Sometimes I wish I would have been a little more rebellious, a little more care-free, a little more out-there.

But at the same time, ...

Sometimes I wish that neither relationship would have ever happened.

That I would have never learned the true definition of intimacy.

That I would have never done whatever it took to make the other person happy.

That I wouldn't have been such an easy push-over.

That I would have stuck to my initial pledge in life

That I would have spoke up more and defended myself.

All I am now, is damaged product.

I don't truly know how to love.

I don't truly know how to feel.

I don't truly know how to be myself.

I don't truly know how to be intimate.

I am human, I am male, so of course I have my moments. But I don't want that to be the reason for a relationship. I want it to be the least-important factor, or not a factor at all.

I want a relationship founded on trust, honesty, fortitude, common interests, personality, maybe even a little faith.

Not intimacy.

I just want to not be invisible, or to only have one attribute visible.

I want to be seen for all the other attributes.

I am not A-sexual. I still feel emotions and feelings. I just don't want to let them out of the locked box which contains them. Not without lots of context and preparedness.

[shawnpetermuffins]

Were you going to tell me?

A/N: this is my first fan fiction on here, so I'd love some feedback if you have any! Also, I'm writing this on my phone, so it probably has a bunch of typos.

Summary: y/n and Shawn have been together for 7 years, but y/n isn't so sure he still wants to be. (This is a really bad summary, wow. Sorry lol)

Warnings: some swearing. Angst and lots of it.

Word count: it's a lot sorry

***

Seven years. Five of which I was in school. (The unfortunate fact of getting into a long distance relationship during my senior year of high school and continuing through college.) Four of which he has been all about touring, and working at the studio, and doing promo. And two of which I have been living with him. Two birthdays and two anniversaries have gone forgotten - by him, I might add. I've never forgotten an anniversary or birthday. I'm good at remembering dates, especially with people that I love. And despite this, I have been completely invested in our relationship.

He's never home anymore. I'm always here cleaning our - his - condo, which used to feel big, but now it feels like I can't take a single step without being in his personal space. That is when he bothers to be home for more than an hour at a time and I'm not at work. He doesn't even notice anymore. It's like he just expects it now. Dinner is always in the fridge for him to heat up because he's never home in time to sit down with each other and eat like a normal couple would. And of course this also means that our sex life is pretty much nonexistent. It's not that I don't want to because that is definitely not the case, but every time I try to get him in bed he always says hes tired or "not now, y/n. I have to get this done." "I'm about to leave." "The boys are on their way."

We've gotten to this point in our relationship that I never thought we'd be at. I never thought he'd become disinterested in me, in us. He really doesn't even pay attention to anything I do or say anymore. So I high key doubted that he was going to notice when I didn't come home for a few days, weeks maybe. It's not like he texts or calls me to see where I am now.

I was throwing in a few more pairs of panties when the front door closed. He was home early. I panicked for a second, debated on whether or not I should I hide the suitcase, but I shook my head and zipped it, set it next to my nightstand. I went to the bathroom to grab my makeup and toothbrush.

“Y/n?” He said from the door to our room. I already wanted to burst into tears, but I couldn't. Not in front of him. He couldn't see how much I was hurting. I walked back into the room, “Hi,” I said softly, but I didn't dare look his way.

“What are you doing? Why is the suitcase out?”

I sighed and didn't answer for a while, trying to find the right words. “I’m going home for a while.”

“Home? You are home. What are you talking about?” He stepped farther into the room.

This was killing me because this was probably the longest conversation we've had in months. “No, Shawn. I'm going home. To y/h/t.” I finally looked up at him. He looked tired, so tired and I just wanted to put him to bed and have him rest for a few days, but I knew better than to say anything to him about how hard he was working himself. We've had that fight before. He thought I was having him choose between me and his work. I would never. (Because I know he'd choose work.)

“What?” He closed the distance between us, grabbing my elbows. This is the closest we've been in a while and it took everything in me not to melt into him. “Were you going to tell me?”

“Shawn,” I pulled away from him and tossed my bathroom bag on the bed.

“What? Is that not a fair question?” He was getting angry, that was obvious. “Why are you leaving?”

“Because I have to.”

“Were you going to tell me?” He asked again.

“Honestly? No. I didn't even think you'd notice.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“What the fuck are you-?” He threw his hands up. “Of course I would notice!”

“When? Huh? When there wasn't dinner for you in the fridge?”

“Y/N, where is this coming - what did I do?”

“I'm tired, Shawn.” I rubbed my temples.

“Why are you leaving?!” His voice rose, and if I hadn't heard him like this time and time again in the past year and half, I would probably be scared.

“Because I want to go home! Because I can't just sit here anymore!”

He crossed his arms, eyes wide. “This is your home! This is our home!”

“No,” I shook my head, letting out a bitter laugh. “It's not.”

“Yes it is.”

“Shawn, this doesn't feel like home. This condo is not my home! You would understand if you bothered to pay attention to anything I say anymore.”

“I do pay attention!” He said defensively.

“No, you don't! For four years all you've thought about was yourself and your career. You never ask me about me and mine. Which, by the way is pretty much nonexistent since I moved here.”

“So, it's my fault that you don't have a career? Don't you put that on me, y/n! You know I work hard to put this roof over your head and make sure the utilities and anything else you need is paid for.”

“I don't ask you to do that! And I'd pay for it if you would let me! It's not like you're here to use the utilities anyway.”

"What is your fucking problem?! Why are you doing this?!"

"Because I'm tired! I'm tired of being overlooked. I'm tired of everyone asking me how you are and how we are and having to lie to them. I'm tired of going to bed by myself and waking up the same way. I'm tired and I want to go home."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"I tried! You never listen. It's always 'I have an early day tomorrow, can we talk about this later?' Or 'I can't do this right now.' Or 'the boys are coming over, let's put a pin in it.'"

"You still haven't said why you're really going."

"I miss my family, Shawn! I miss my friends! I haven't seen them in two years and you don't care because it has nothing to do with you or your career!"

"Of course I care! How dare you say I don't?"

"How dare I?! How dare you?! You can't just come in here and act like you suddenly give a shit about what I'm doing! You haven't so much as looked my way in months, but now that I have a suitcase out, now you want to act like you care. That's bullshit and you know it."

"You can't just leave!"

"Yes, actually. I can. Because even though you feel like you do, you don't own me. I can make my own decisions. In fact, I've been doing a lot on my own recently."

"You're being ridiculous," he said with a scoff and an eye roll.

"I don't really think I am," I tugged at the ends of my hair. "I have a right to see my family. Even if I have to fly across the entire fucking continent to do so."

"Y/N-"

"Do you know how much I've given up for you?" I cut him off.

"Excuse me?"

"I moved to Canada for you. I left the only place I've ever known just because you asked me to. I left my friends and family. I left my job. I left my home to be with you in yours. Notice how I say this, Shawn. I'm in your home. Not ours. Yours. It's absolute fucking shit that I have had to give up everything I've ever known just to make you happy and you've never once said thank you. You don't act like you appreciate me. Half the time you act like I'm not fucking here. But I am, Shawn! I'm here and every night I make you dinner and I make sure the place is clean and your laundry is done. I do everything for you and you can't so much as look at me when I try to tell you about my shitty day or to say 'thank you for dinner, pumpkin' when you're coming to bed." I took in a shuddery breath, but didn't take my eyes off him. "I can't even remember the last time you kissed me goodbye when you were leaving in the morning. Or the last time you woke me up in the middle of the night because you thought of a new chord progression that you need a second opinion on. I don't remember the last time we made love to each other. Now, I don't know why you wanted me here, but I'm sick and tired of playing the role of the forgotten housewife. I'm absolutely fucking done!"

"What does that mean? Done. Done with what?"

"Us!" I said without realizing what was coming out of my mouth.

"Baby!" He reached for my hands again, his eyes practically popping out of his head. "I'm sorry! Okay? I know. I know I've been fucking up a lot lately-"

"You forgot our anniversary. And my birthday. Twice!"

"I said I was sorry about that. You know I was-"

"Working on the album. Yes, I know. I forgave you because you were under so much stress. But I'm stressed too, you know?" I pulled my hands away from him, wrapped my arms around my middle. "I'm here in a place that I still don't know that well. I don't have a single friend here that isnt your sister or one of the guys. And no matter what, they would tell you if I was feeling neglected or sad. But they shouldn't have to tell you! You should just know because we've been together for seven goddamn years and you know me better than anyone. You should know I'm not feeling well." I took in a deep breath before continuing. "But you don't. You don't notice that I've lost weight because I've been under so much stress that I can barely keep any food down. You don't notice that I clean this house spotless at least twice a week because I have nothing else to do, or that your laundry is always washed and put up. You don't notice anything I do for you and it hurts! I've given up everything in my life just to be with you and you. Don't. Care. That fucking hurts, Shawn! It hurts that you haven't realized that I'm not happy anymore!"

He flinched like I'd hit him. "You've never said that to me before," his intense gaze dropped to the floor.

I've never said it out loud before either and I felt just how powerful and hurtful those words acfually were. Not only for him, but for me. It hurt me to say that to him. To see his face after I said it. "Look," I said, guard down, defeated. "I'm going back to y/h/t for a little bit. I just - I need to get away from this for a while."

"Do you know when you're coming back?" He reached for my hand again and played with my fingers, swirled the promise ring he gave me six years ago that, even through all this, I've never taken off.

I shook my head. "No."

That's when he started to cry and I knew I had to get going before I changed my mind. "I need to do this, Shawn. I think it'll be best for the both of us. We need to figure out if this relationship is really what we want. If it's still worth the fight."

"I want you, y/n. I've never wanted anyone else the way I want you. Please." He took my right hand and rested it on his cheek, locking it there with his own hand. "Please stay. I'll be better. I'll work less. I'll make you feel as loved as you should be. I'll do anything you want me to. Just please," he begged again, his voice cracking. "I'll be lost without you. I can't- I can't lose you."

I sighed and kissed his temple, retracting my hands from his once again. "I have to go," I grabbed my bags.

He followed me out to the car, tears still streaking his face. I put my bags in the trunk and checked my purse to make sure I had my passport and ticket. Then I closed the trunk and stood face to face with my broken boy.

"Can I kiss you? Is that allowed?"

I nodded. I wanted more than anything for him to kiss me and never stop. I wanted this kiss go be enough to make me forget all that's fallen apart between us. Forget all the pain I've suffered watching him live his dream while I put mine on hold and stay in this house that isn't home, even when he isn't coming home and he can't send me something as miniscule as a text to tell me so.

But this lips still felt so good against mine. Like they were made to connect to my lips. His tongue wrestling with mine was heaven. To taste him again after so long without him felt surreal, and that's when I started crying because how could we be so terribly fucking broken and still be able to share a kiss like this? How could he still make my stomach do backflips when his fingers combed through my hair?

And how could it still not be enough?

"I love you," he pulled back, his forehead creasing as he fought back more tears.

I wanted to say it too. Wanted to put him at ease, but I'd been crumbling in that place for months upon months and some part of me, no matter how small, wanted him go hurt the way I have. Leave him wondering like he's left me. So I got in the car because the kiss, his words, they weren't enough.

***

So that's the end of that. Let me know if you want a part 2 I guess!

[5hfanfiction]

I Needed You (5H/Camren/Laucy)

We’re both sitting on a couch in this room, empty coffee table in front of us. Across the room is a middle aged male sitting in a plush leather chair, his name is James. James is a marriage counselor, for a few months now we’ve been seeing James on a bi weekly basis. For the first couple of weeks it was just us staring at him, him waiting patiently for either one of us to speak. Neither of us would say a word, at one point I started to think what’s the point in all this? We’re making zero progress and frankly it’s becoming a waste of my time, I’m starting to come to grips with the fact that my marriage was no longer something that could be mended and then one day she finally spoke.

“We fight” “We don’t fight, you yell and then you leave” “I leave because…We don’t communicate” “We try to communicate you’re just on a completely different page” “Oh because I don’t do what you want?” “No, because you cheated..again.”

“That was a long time ago. We’re fine now.” She says to James I look her way, I scoff “We’re fine.”

•

“There has to be a deeper reason” I say as I’m standing up now pacing the room a bit “There isn’t I already told you. You know why” “What am I suppose to do with that?” “Trust me?” “I trusted you last time and look where it’s gotten us” I point to James “In three years, five years what if you change your mind again? You’ll regret it, because I’m not gonna be here waiting forever.” “I’m not going to change my mind-” “You’ve said all this before! How do you expect me to believe you?” “People make mistakes, I’m not perfect. I made a mistake!” “Why. Tell me why?”

•

“You’re with her all the time, do you really expect me to believe it’s only happened twice in all the years we’ve been together” “You’re just being ridiculous now. I don’t do everything with her plus she’s my best friend, she’s my person-” “I should be your person!” “Be my person. Be my person Lucy! Be my freakin’ person!” “Be MY person.” I whisper

•

James had us try this exercise where we just look at each other, we’re siting face to face and just concentrate on looking at each other. It works for about five minutes before I blink and direct my eyes towards anywhere but hers. I hear her sigh.

“You have to try” she says sounding defeated “I am trying” “We’re suppose to be concentrating on each other and breath. You’re not, your mind is somewhere else other than here.” “Oh so now you know my every thought and intention?” I snap “Don’t do that! Don’t act like you’re the sun and everything revolves around you cause it doesn't” She turns her body away from mine, then sighs deeply “We use to be able to look at each other and we just knew that everything would be ok. ” “I’m here, I’m right here Lauren. I’m trying. Please just look at me.” She turns to face me again “Ok, I’m looking at you” she says to me but in that moment I realize, I’m looking at her but I don’t see her. And it’s jabs like that that are slowly chipping away at my heart.

•

Lauren disengages eye contact this time and turns back around to face forward. “She has to stop holding a grudge, she’s never gonna let this go” she says to James “She has to see me for who I am and that I made a mistake that I’m trying to fix or else-” “Or else what?” “I don’t know!” “Would it kill you to just see things from my side? Maybe what I need is to have my feelings worthy of consideration, my feelings are worth something too that I’m worth more than how I’ve been treated” “It always comes back to this doesn’t it? That I cheated-” “No. It’s who you cheated with” I couldn’t help the sob that escaped “I’m just…I'm…I…” “Lucy, I’m so sorry” “You’re breaking my heart.”

•

Silence, all that is heard is the ticking of the clock on the wall in the big open office. We are both sitting on each side of the couch when suddenly I see James lean forward in his chair and close his notebook.

“I’m afraid our time is up.”

Lauren’s POV

I’ve been calling her for hours and she hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts. I’m really starting to get worried, what if she’s hurt? I’m getting ready to dial her number again when I hear the front door open.

“Luc, where have you been? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for hours!”

“Relax, my phone died. Where’s Ava?”

“It’s 11, she’s in bed after crying all night wondering where you were! She thought she was gonna spend the day with you.”

She rubs at her temple and sighs as she sits across from me at the table “I know, I’m sorry. I got out of the shoot late and my phones been dead since this afternoon.”

“You look exhausted, where have you been Lucy?” I ask

“I was in a meeting with…Allison” she says

“Allison? Our lawyer Allison?”

“Yeah, she’s gonna draw up some papers for us to look over.”

“No, Lucy. No please, we said we were going to work through this and…and we have been. We’ve been going to counseling and we’ve been communicating better. Luc, please don’t do this.” I’m basically begging her, this isn’t how I thought this day would end

“Lauren you’re unhappy. I’m unhappy, we’ve been walking around in circles tip toeing around each other so Ava doesn’t notice anything is wrong but she notices Lauren. She’s asked me if we’re ok. That’s not something a child should be worried about. We need to do what’s in the best interest of our daughter.”

“We’re the best for our daughter. We’re her parents, her mothers. We need to stay together.”

“That’s the problem Lauren, we’re acting like everything is the same but it’s not. We’re acting like we’re still a happily married couple but we’re not, we're…..it’s like…we're…just friends.”

Camila’s POV

“Lauren hasn’t contacted me in a few weeks, do you think she’s really done?”

“Isn’t that what you wanted Mila?” Mani asks

“Yeah sure I got what I wanted, I don’t know I guess maybe …I just thought she’d fight for me.”

"Think of it this way Walz now you aren’t tied down by anyone you can go to the Met Gala with an amazing date and have the best night of your life!” Dinah says from the kitchen and as she walks into the living room with the pizza we ordered and beer

“Well…yeah..”Mani says as she stuffs a slice of pizza in her mouth

“What?” I ask

“Huh?…. What?.. Nothing?” Mani says

I look towards Ally who is trying to chug a beer in order to not be asked anything “Ally?”

“Camila…it’s really not that big of a deal…it’s a huge event…tons of people…you may not even see her.”

"She’s going? And nobody thought to tell me till now?”

“Again, tons of people you may not even see them.” Mani reiterates

“Them? She’s still with her?”

“Mila, they’re married. She’s trying to fix her marriage.” Ally says as she makes her way towards me and rubs soothing circles on my back as I’m letting her words sink in

“She chose her again….but I don’t think I’m ready to let her go.”

——-later that week at the Met Gala——-

The both of us got here just in time for the carpet to roll out. My date was non other than the beautiful actress Maia Mitchell. We walk the carpet together and head over to the interview side of the carpet separately.

“Camila, you look gorgeous how excited are you for tonight?” “Thank you! I’m very excited it’s a great event and we’re glad we were invited” “Can you tell me any secret inside scoop on the new song Lauren’s preforming tonight? We know you guys have collaborated in the studio not too long ago.” “Um” What? I think to myself, I knew Lauren was going to be here I didn’t know she was preforming. “Anything that comes from Lauren Jauregui is going to be amazing, so just be prepared!” I say which was more than satisfying for the interviewer.

I leave that section of the carpet and see some fans asking for pictures and autographs that I gladly make my way to.

“Hey sweetie” I see she has a ‘Camren’ phone case. These harmonizers never quit I laugh a little to myself “Camila do you think we could get a picture with you and Lauren?!” She asks and others hear and immediately agree “yeah please, can we get a Camren selfie!”

“That one might be up to Lauren guys” I giggle as I sign some posters and phone cases “What might be up to me?!” Her husky voice leaves me at a standstill, the crowd of fans go crazy with screams and hands and phone flying her way to get just a tiny glimpse of the Cuban goddess in front of them. It’s like this is all happening in slow motion for me, she turns to look at me and I decide to check her out shamelessly from top to bottom. She’s wearing a black skin tight dress with her hair in soft waves flowing down to her elbows, she’s let her hair grow again, I’ve always loved her long locks. “Um…uh, they…uh, they want a…” I stutter, I haven’t seen her in months and now here she is right in front of me. And she’s stunning.

“Can we get a group picture with the both of you Lauren pleaseeee” a fan asks bringing me back to reality

“Yeah of course babe, let’s do it!”

We both squeeze in with the group of fans and take a couple pictures. Paparazzi snapped a couple shots of us as well with the fans and some fans handed us their phones to get a different angle of the group as well. Overall I think it turned out great, when we were done security lead us to the end of the carpet and into backstage where we finally had a minute to ourselves.

“Thanks for that back there, the fans really enjoyed it.” I motioned behind us “Absolutely, it was fun.” She’s just looking at me now, ugh why is she so stunning “How have you been Camila?” She asks Camila? She hardly ever calls me that. “I’ve been good, ya know just writing a lot getting plenty of hours in the studio. You, how’s Ava?” “Great, I can’t wait to hear some of it, and she’s great thanks Ava and Lucy are keeping me pretty busy now a days with school, mommy daughter activities and also we’re getting ready to start planning her birthday” “Right! That’s in a few weeks right?” “Yes, June 7th. She wants to formally send out invitations so look out for yours” she says to me “Oh Lauren, its fine you don’t have to really with everything we’ve been through I wouldn’t want to impose.” “What do you mean? Of course you’re coming, your one of her favorite aunts. Listen no matter what happens between…us..I wouldn’t dream of keeping her away from you” “Thank you, that means a lot. And I don’t mean to pry and you definitely don’t have to tell me but…how are you and ..” I didn’t even have to finish she already knew what I was asking “We're….getting there again…we’re working on mending our relationship. It’s hard but…” I see her begin to struggle with her words so I cut her off “I’m sorry seriously don’t worry about it, I don’t need to know. I heard that you guys are trying to work it out and…I think it’s great, Lauren I really do. I’m happy for you, you know all I ever wanted was for you to be happy and …I just…” I started to get a little upset and I’m not sure why, we’re over. I initiated it for us to be over, so why am I feeling this way. She picked Lucy, she picked her wife again over me, shouldn’t that tell me something shouldn’t that deter me away from her. No, it doesn’t at all. It makes me want to point out to her how much we are meant to be together.But I don’t, I couldn’t do that to her, or her family. “I’m just happy that you are happy.” I end with “Thank you, that means a lot coming from you! I want the same things for you too, and we’re friends right?! We’re still gonna be around each other and our families and friends. I want you to experience everything that life has to offer with someone who is willing to put you first Camila.” She reaches out and we hug, no we don’t hug, we embrace each other almost as if it will be our last. Which in my mind it will be, things are going to change and honestly I’m not sure if I’m ready for that, but at the same time I have to be.

After we end our embrace and just take a second to look at each other, we get blindsided by flashing lights of the cameras and then not a second later Dinah,Ally, and Mani pull us into a group hug while we make our way deeper into backstage where the five of us are together in Lauren’s dressing room. “Are we all good?” Dinah asks looking at both Lauren and I “Yes” I say smiling as I’m looking at Laur and then around the rest of our circle of friends “We’re all good, we’re all healthy, and happy,and we’ve got nothing but good vibes.” I turn to Lauren “We’re really excited about your performance tonight thanks for even telling us” I playfully nudge her arm as do the other girls “but we’re really proud of you and can’t wait to hear it!” “It was meant to be a surprise but thank you guys!” She says bashfully

We all finish up our little pep talk with her and then as we are leaving her I notice Lucy walk in and I felt compelled to speak to her even if for a little bit. We haven’t had any contact what so ever since the barbecue and that’s when Lauren and I started…whatever. So hopefully she sees my attempt at talking to her as a way to make amends and not to cause anymore damage than I’ve already have.

“Lucy” I say “Yeah?” She responds “Listen I just want to say how sorry I am for everything that I’ve caused between you and Lauren and…everything. I want you to know we’ve stopped everything we’re just friends I don’t have any intentions and those were never my intentions to hurt you. I’m so sorry Lucy.” “You did cause a lot of issues in my marriage, but I appreciate you apologizing I really do.” She pauses for a second and just looks at Lauren, with nothing but adoration, passion, and mostly love. Love is all I see when she looks at her. I know because….because I look at her the same way. “Lauren wants you to be apart of her life, a part of our lives. Mine and Ava’s as a friend, aunt. I’m going to trust her because she means the world to me and she’s my family, she’s my everything.” She turns back to look at me “please don’t make me regret this Camila.”

She looks at me as if she’s begging me, begging me to not take the love of her life away. We both are in love with the same woman but the truth is Lauren’s only in love with one of us and it’s clear to me which one of us that is.

“No, I won’t it’s clear that she’s happy. You make her happy, and that’s all I ever really wanted for Lauren.” I say back to Lucy trying to give her all the reassurance I can.

“Thank you Camila.” She sends a smile my way. As I’m getting ready to leave I notice Dinah and Lauren are having a similar intimate conversation.

Lauren’s POV

“Lo, I’m so proud of you for this. For stepping up in your relationship. For being a great mother. For being an amazing person. I’m so proud of you.” Dinah says as she embraces me in a tight squeeze

“D, thank you. I’m happy” I say with a genuine smile and only one girl on my mind “I’m really happy and I’m glad we’re all here and that everyone is on board”

"Honestly I have no idea what song you’re preforming in a bit but if it’s anything like what you’ve been writing lately, it’ll be amazing!” She gushed “Sooo which one is it?!?”

"Dinah! It’s suppose to be a surprise!” I giggle as she’s still egging on for a song title. I look around to make sure nobody else is listening and then that’s when I catch Lucy looking at me and we share a loving stare and I feel I fall every time I see her. “How Would You Feel” I say as I turn back to Dinah

“Ahhhhh” she starts jumping up and down “That’s such a dope song!!! She’s gonna love it girl! Good luck out there!” Dinah gives me one last hug before she makes her exit from my dressing room.

As I watch Dinah leave I notice Lucy and Camila are talking. Those two girls were my world for as long as I can remember, but for as long as I can remember there’s always been one that’s made my heart beat a bit quicker and the butterflies in my stomach flutter for a bit longer. She’s the person who I’ve spent years confiding in, venting to, and loving. She’s been my rock for this crazy journey I call my life. She’s seen me through the highs and lows, when I’ve felt like I’m on top of the world and when I’ve felt like it’s all crumbling down. She’s been by my side through all of it.

– “Ladies and gentlemen please put your hands together for Lauren Jauregui!”

The stage opens and the solo spotlight slowly brightens up for myself and the black piano to come into view of the audience.

You are the one, girl And you know that it’s true I’m feeling younger every time that I’m alone with you We were sitting in a parked car Stealing kisses in the front yard We got questions we should not ask

But how would you feel If I told you loved you? It’s just something I want to do I’d be taking my time Spending my life falling deeper in love with you So tell me that you love me too

In the summer As the lilacs bloom Blood flows deeper than a river Every moment that I spend with you We were sat upon our best friends roof I had both of my arms ‘round you Watching the sunrise replace the moon

How would you feel If I told you I loved you? It’s just something that I want to do I’d be taking my time Spending my life falling deeper in love with you So tell me that you love me too

We were sitting in a parked car Stealing kisses in the front yard We got questions we should not ask

How would you feel If I told you loved you? It’s just something I want to do I’d be taking my time Spending my life falling deeper in love with you So tell me that you love me too Tell me that you love me too Tell me that you love me too

I take my earpiece out and blink to adjust to the spotlight on me and I see the full arena on their feet. I’m amazed and overjoyed, and the first persons eyes that I connect with are Camila’s, I smile at her then direct my vision to my wife who has tears glowing in her brown orbs. I wrote the song for her, in a time where I wasn’t sure if our relationship was something that could be fixed but I was sure of my feelings for her. I still am sure of my feelings for her, for my wife. I love her. I quickly wave to the crowd and then exit the stage to head to the dressing room and then enjoy the rest of the event. Leaving the stage and entering backstage I’m welcomed with applause and ‘congratulations ‘ which I gladly accept and thank, once inside my dressing room I’m waiting on my girl to come in and congratulate me personally-

“Lauren that was amazing!” I hear coming from the girl who just entered my room, though it’s not the voice I was expecting. “Camila? Thank you, um..sorry I wasn’t expecting you.” I say and she can hear the surprise evident in my voice. “I’m sorry I know, but…I just have to ask…um…that song…it was is beautiful.” She says and I’m about to answer because I know exactly what she’s trying to ask until my dressing room door opens again.

“Lauren, Lucy is being held up by some interviewers but she’s asking for you.” Jen my manager comes in and tells me. “I’ll be right out, thanks.” I say and then look back to Camila I’m about to answer her when she seemingly wants to take everything she said back “You know what, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have. You did amazing, great job. I’ll see you out there ok?” She says as she try’s to leave “ Camila, wait what are you trying to say?” She’s making no sense right now. “ Nothing, really I just wanted to congratulate you….it’s an amazing song…Lucy is really lucky to have you” is the last thing she says before she leaves. Once again when I feel like everything is going well and we’re on the same page, she comes and says things like that then just leaves. I don’t have much of a chance to think about it too much, knowing that Lucy is waiting for me I quickly change and make my way out to the event and find my wife.

I’ve made my way back to our table to enjoy the rest of the Met Gala evening, I’m at our table but don’t see Lucy and just end up catching up and thanking the other guests that are sat at our table, I pick up my champagne flute and take a sip of the strawberry champagne when I suddenly feel arms wrap around me from behind and someone whisper in my ear.

“I love you” I know that voice and a smile instantly graces my face. I get up and instantly wrap the women in my arms, almost as if we’re the only ones in the room and this moment is just ours. I tell her I love her too and she captures my lips in a searing kiss. We get a little lost until we hear a couple whistles and applause which makes Lucy giggle disconnecting our lips and ducking to hide her blush in my neck.

“Are you ready to go home?” I say to her after a little while into the event, she leans into me and just nods. We say our goodbyes to friends and guest on our way out. Once in our car we naturally cuddle each other in the backseat. “Luc, what did you think of the song?” I ask “It was amazing babe, really it was! I know you’ve been writing a lot but this song was absolutely beautiful!” She leans up and pecks my lips. “Well, I have a surprise for you once we get home” I say while playing with her fingers that are interlocked with mine and also absentmindedly playing with her wedding ring “You do!?!” She asks surprised knowing that we’re very close to home like literally less than five minutes. “Yes, really” I giggle “So I’m going to blindfold you ok” I say as I bring out a red blindfold and she nods happily and turns around so I can cover her eyes which she’s already closed. I secure the blindfold and then turn her around and see she has a dopey grin on her face and she starts giggling unable to hold in her excitement.

I love this girl, I think to myself. I kiss her lips “So you remember awhile ago…when you mentioned…when you mentioned that we were acting like just friends” I say as I lead her out of the car and through our house into our backyard. Lucy is blindfolded but I see her face falter at the less than happy memory of when we were in a bad place in our relationship. “Laur-” I gently pull off the blindfold and kiss her again “I’m not trying to bring up any bad memories but I’m trying to make a point, you remember that right?” I say “yes” she whispers. “Well, we’re not. We’re not friends.” My wife’s beautiful face shows confusion, I smile and just kiss her again and silently lead her to the chair in the backyard and sit her down. Directly across from her I had set up another chair with my guitar next to it. I take my place across from her and and pick up my guitar.

We’re not, no we’re not friends Nor have we ever been We just try to keep those secrets in a lie If they find out, will it all go wrong And heaven knows, no one wants it to So I could take the back road But your eyes will lead me straight back home And if you know me Like I know you You should love me You should know

Friends just sleep in another bed And friends don’t treat me like you do Well I know that there’s a limit to everything But my friends won’t love me like you No, my friends won’t love me like you

We’re not friends We could be anything if we tried To keep those secrets safe No one will find out If it all went wrong They’ll never know What we’ve been through So I can take the back road But your eyes will lead me straight back home And if you know me Like I know you You should love me You should know

Friends just sleep in another bed And friends don’t treat me like you do And I know that there’s a limit to everything But my friends won’t love me like you No, my friends won’t love me like you

But then again If we’re not friends Someone else might love you too Then again, if we’re not friends There’d be nothing I could do And that’s why friends should sleep in other beds And friends shouldn’t kiss me like you do And I know that there’s a limit to everything But my friends won’t love me like you No, my friends won’t love me like you do No, my friends will never love me like you

Once I finish the song I noticed that Lucy is kneeled down in front of me and wipes at my tears and I do the same for her. I put my guitar down and Lucy makes herself comfortable on my lap straddling me and just hugs me. We stay like that for awhile before she pulls away to just lock her hands at the back of my neck and mine around her waist and we kiss with such passion, I can see myself being this happy for the rest of my life her Lucy, my person, my best friend, my partner in crime, my wife, my everything.

“We’re not just friends” Lucy says and then giggles as she leans in again “I love you.”

A/N: I’m a fan of Greys Anatomy if y'all couldn’t tell 🙊. Ok so how are we feeling? One more part which I’m thinking will me a time hop so maybe a few years or so later on….just a thought, let me know what y'all think. Yeah?