#also vv funny to me for me to write 8:1 posts ab how i wanna have rough gay sex w/ him & them but this is what gets interaction

[bisexualgenderfemme]

this might not be what ud like to hear, and it might be frightening to consider, but i think people who give up a good friendship because of one confession dont value that friendship enough to foster it. would u really want to stick around people who find it so easy to ditch u over something totally inconsequential? maybe if u confess u can make it clear to them that rejection will not impact how much u value ur friendship as it is now, and that ur attraction doesnt alter the way u treat them

the intro to this anon is on some twilight zone / hitchcock shit dhdkfhfk. I realize u didn't mean it this way (& I'm not mad it's just kinda goofy) but starting an anon this way comes off a little condescending. ik u were just tryna get off on the right foot, I'm not offended, it gave me a little giggle. also idk. I usually view 'hey if this person really is ur friend they won't mind' to be a reassuring message, not a frightening one.

dw, this is not frightening to hear, this is a perfectly normal thought that has already occured to me multiple times. I've heard it from myself, & my wife, & the couple friends we've discussed this with. In fact the 'if someone is going to judge me for this I don't want to be friends' state of mind is where I generally keep residence & have had to let go of friends for that reason on a few occasions. I appreciate the reassurance but I am just on my online diary venting & working thru some stuff.

we/I will inevitably tell them at some point, I've never been good at keeping crushes under wraps, people can tell, but part of why we haven't is because he is clearly working thru some stuff of his own & we don't want to put him in a weird position & make him feel like he either HAS to come out or has to lie about things. plus part of my Whole Thing is showing someone that the way I've treated them hasn't changed even tho I've had a crush for x amount of time.

ultimately I'm sure it'll all be fine. I'm just mentally ill & sometimes I have to vocalize my thoughts out loud into the vacuum for them to really feel real. & for me to remember later how I was feeling ab something.