#also typos? grammar errors? i know her and she told me to tell hyall to leave her alone!

[ncomiis]

i pulled an all nighter and this happened

— flashback: creative writing class. beginning of junior year.

naomi sits patiently at her desk, waiting for the rest of the class to fill in so that the creative writing class could begin. she was really excited for this since writing has been a way for her to let all that darkness within her out. it was a form of therapeutic expression. so far she recognizes a few faces. the blair maxwell was sitting a few seats away next to her beau daniel taupo  ( whom naomi has had a crush on since middle school but has made no attempt in telling him because hello; he was dating the blair maxwell ) then brother and sister duo bryce kings and damaris lennox sitting in the front row. so far, they’re the only students in the classroom and naomi can tell this class is going to be small. she wasn’t sure if she liked that. just then, her best friend verena enters and naomi smiles, waving her over.

“ you’re in this class? no way! it’s going to be so much fun. how was your summer? we didn’t hang out as much as i wanted us to. my dad and his family went on a cruise so i was left housesitting. which i mean, is whatever i don’t even like the bahamas.  ”  she shrugs her shoulders, rambling to the other girl and too busy trying to play catch up that she doesn’t notice when cristian ramos (  cleveland high school’s bad boy slash heartbreaker ) and his friend enter the room and take the seats directly in front of them, as if there weren’t other empty desks littered around the room.

the smell of cigarettes hits her hard and she cringes, wasting no time in tapping the stranger   cristian’s friend ) on the shoulder,  “  you stink.  ”  naomi boldly says, interrupting their conversation and raising her eyebrows as he turns around.

“ and you’re annoying.  ”  the words fall from his lips so swiftly yet heavy and naomi sits there, a little stunned. 

“  i’m sorry, what?  ”

“  deaf too, apparently.  ”

naomi snorts and looks over at verena, giving her a who is this and why is he talking to me like that look. vee just shrugs and looks down at her notebooks, going back to ignoring the interaction all together. she’s about to reply when the teacher walks in and begins to introduce herself to all eight of them; setting the class into motion.

— time jump to after class.

“ and he has a name. micah. very fitting.  ”  and once again, naomi interrupts whatever he’s doing as she leans against the lockers that lined their high school’s hallway.

“ naomi, or should i say cry baby. please don’t flood the hall with your crocodile tears. ” micah looks so unimpressed as he shuts his locker closed and gives her a bored look.

“ i’m not— are people still saying that about me? ” suddenly, she’s no longer interested in telling him off but more into wanting to finding out what her peers have been saying behind her back.

“ yeah, they also say you grow a tail when there’s a full moon and that you have a daniel taupo shrine in your room. is he your favorite member of one direction?  ”  the end of his lips quirk up into a smug smirk and she frowns, crossing her arms against her chest. she can’t lie, there’s a slight pink tint coating her cheeks at the mention of the ginger haired boy.

“ you still stink. ”  and with that, she turns to walk away from him and that embarrassing conversation.

“ and you’re still annoying.  ”

naomi laughs to herself slightly, remembering the first time she met micah byeon. the memory feels like it was lifetimes ago. a time where things were normal in her life. no kids, no ghosts, no murders, no serial killers. just an angsty teenager trying to graduate from high school. her laugh slowly fades and she’s in silence, laying in the backseat of her car where she’s been sleeping for the past few days; too embarrassed to ask any of her other friends if she could crash at their place and too broken to go back home.

she thought that the pain would go away a few hours after the big fight and that maybe, just maybe, she’d be able to return the following day where they’d make up and forget any of it ever happened. but naomi isn’t dumb, she knows that simple i’m sorry’s wasn’t going to fix the mess she and micah had made. it wasn’t going to fix them. if anything, the pain has only gotten worse and no one knows she’s hurting. she briefly mentioned it to daniel the night of, but she didn’t tell him the whole thing. he didn’t need that on his conscious,

not now and not ever.

letting out a small sigh, she sits up and ignores the headache, climbing into the driver’s seat and turning the car on. she sits there, emotionless and pretty dead on the inside as she thinks of what her next move is going to be. the party she and verena had planned was slowly creeping up and she was in no mood to attend, let alone dress up for it. with everything going on with her and micah and zach; the last thing naomi castillo wanted to be is festive. but alas, she had to go. it was her party after all, and she didn’t want to raise any red flags within the team. she wanted them to at least have one night where they could have fun.

— flashback: becoming roommates. end of senior year. high school.

“ i’m in. ”

naomi’s eyes move from the textbook in front of her and up to meet micah’s, a confused look on her face.

“ what? ”

“ i said i’m in. you sure you’re not deaf?  ”

with a roll of her eyes, she bookmarks the page and shuts the book, waiting for micah to further™ explain himself.

“ your craigslist ad. for a roommate. saw it last night and thought why the hell not? i can’t afford to live in the dorms.  ”  

naomi’s face lights up and she lets out an excited squeal,  “ oh my god? yes of course. yes! this is going to be so much fun. i found the apartment about a month ago and it’s like, right near campus. i expected it to be super duper expensive but it’s not. and it’s really nice. ugh, i can’t wait to decorate for all the holidays! do you celebrate christmas or do you do like do hanukkah because—  ”

“  i regret this already.  ”

this time, her laugh is mixed with a few sobs as she begins to cry, head resting on the steering wheel. how could they let it get this bad? they were supposed to break the cycle their parents had so selfishly created. they were supposed to be stable. they were supposed to be happy.

“  oh god, micah… what did we do?  ”  she says to herself, replaying the argument over and over in her head.

“ you’re the one who decided to fuck a serial killer, and you’re the one who decided to have his kids. no one told you to do that shit, and ava and noah sure as hell didn’t ask to be born. all of that? that’s on you. you’re the reason you have twins right now, and you’re the reason you’re so motherfucking tired. whatever the fuck it is that you’re so upset about? frankly, it’s probably your fault, too. ”  she lets out a cry, hitting her palm against the wheel

“ i don’t care what you want. ” another cry, another hit.

“ i don’t need to project my shitty childhood onto them naomi, you’re already giving them a one. ”  this time the hit is harder and the cry is intense.

“ get out of my apartment.  ”  and finally she breaks down again, feeling her chest shake as the sobs come out stronger and stronger, vision blurring as the tears pour out.

things weren’t supposed to go like this. they were supposed be different. where the hell did they go wrong? silverwood? each being too broken to fix the other? or was it because they depended on each other far too much? the pressure, the weight was too much for these broken birds to handle. one of them had to snap first.

wasn’t it funny that they both snapped at the same time?

the seconds that pass feel like hours but naomi is finally able to semi recover from her breakdown. taking a few deep breaths, she wipes the tears away and reaches over for her water bottle, gulping down the whole thing before tossing the empty plastic into the backseat.

putting the car into reverse, she backs out of the parking lot of the hq and onto the main road, making her way towards last place she should be at the but the first place she finds herself going to.

her dad’s house.

— time jump.

the argument made naomi realize a lot of things about herself. the main being that she was her mother. there were no similarities, no, they were the exact same person. from their mood swings to the bedridden depression to the way they treated their kids. naomi had always been preoccupied with trying not to be like carson that she didn’t even realize she had become alejandra. the realization hit naomi hard and still, she doesn’t know how to react to it.

at first she was very confused but slowly, it all began to make sense. the reason why she and her father never got along, her fervour heart, why her brother ran away the second he turned eighteen, her inability to keep her emotions in check. it all screamed her mother and it was right in front of her the entire time. how could you be so blind, naomi? all the years you spent asking why things where the way that they were;  the answer was in the mirror, staring right back at you.

taking a deep breath, naomi enters the familiar neighborhood and she slows down once the house is in sight. her palms begin to sweat and she feels a ping of fear shoot up her spine as she pulls in to the driveway.

you can do this. no you can’t. yes you can.

after fighting with herself for a few minutes, she finally cuts the engine off and steps out the car ( first making sure she looks and smells presentable ) walking up the steps to the front porch and knocking on the door.

she knows he’s home, his car is parked out front. she doesn’t see jacqueline’s which eases her nerves slightly. she wanted to confront her dad alone and not in the presence of the woman who helped ruined her life.

naomi’s train of thought is put back on track as she hears the door unlock then open, revealing the man of the hour.

“ naomi? what are you doing here? everything okay? where are the twins?  ”

things have been weird with her dad since he was attacked by mayer all those months ago. he doesn’t scold or nag on her as much as he used to. don’t think he doesn’t do it though; because he does. about two weeks ago he called only to tell her off for buying the wrong medicine when noah got sick. mortin, naomi. the name is not that hard to remember.

“  i finally get it.  ”  she ignores his questions, instead letting her statement stand in place of an answer

“  get what? you’re really starting to worry me.  ”

“ why you left mom. why you left us.  ”  

he goes silent and his eyes divert from hers, she notices the shift in his attitude.

he opens the door and motions for her to come inside and she does, turning to face him as soon as the door closes behind him.

they never talk about it. they never talk about her mom or her death or him leaving when they needed him the most, no. the only thing they talk about is how bad of a mother naomi is and how irresponsible she is as an adult. any time she’s ever tried to bring it up, he either gives her some bullshit answer of how things were hard for her to understand and that she’d never get it.

but boy was he wrong.

“  naomi please don’t do this now…  ”

“  it’s hard taking care of someone who feels all at once then nothing at all. it’s hard to love someone like that, huh?  ”

silence.

“  i loved her.  ”

“  i’m sure you did.  ”  words come out flat,  “ especially with how much you talk about her.  ”

“  you don’t understand naomi—  ”

“ but i do, dad. i do understand because i’m going through it right now. i’m hurting like she was and i walked away like you did.  ”

and for the first time since she was a child, carson shows emotion towards his daughter. not sternness or disappointment, no, he shows something she’d never thought she’d see him express.

empathy.

“  what happened to my little girl?  ”

“  my mother died, my brother left and my father stopped loving me.  ”

“  i never stopped loving you naomi.  ”

“ then why did you push me away? why did you choose jacqueline and matthew over me?  ”  voice cracks as the questions pour out, heart racing a hundred miles per hour as she anxiously waits for him to reply.

his jaw tightness and she knows she’s hit a spot but she doesn’t care— it’s time for the two of them to finally sort this shit out like the adults that they were.

“  you reminded me so much of her. i couldn’t do it. i couldn’t go through that again.  ”

“  oh fuck you, carson.  ”  

“  naomi vienna castillo—  ”

“  you’re my first heartbreak, did you know that? because of you i have problems with getting close to people because i’m scared that they’re going to leave me like you did. you were a selfish asshole, you only thought of yourself and because of that mom killed herself and lukas left!  ”

“  i tried fixing things. i was by her side at every waking moment. i took her to the doctor i got her the help she needed but she refused to take it. she liked being that way. she loved watching her family fall apart— ”

“  please, don’t—  ”

“  no, no,  ”  her shakes his head, interrupting her,  “  you want to come to my house and tell me that you know what it’s like but you don’t know. you really don’t. the crying, the screaming, the—”  things begin to get intense. naomi has never seen her dad this way and honestly? it’s frightening.

“  the sleepless nights. the mood swings. the leave me alone’s and the please don’t leave me’s.  ”  she finishes his sentence, and that stuns him.  “  i told you that i know what it’s like. and it pains me that i walked away just like you did. for the past month i’ve been feeling the same exact way she was. i couldn’t stand being around my kids, i ruined my relationship with zach and i left micah. this family has a problem with walking away when things get tough and i’m tired of it, carson. i’m sick and tired of it i need you to finally man up to your fucking mistakes and make things right. ”

“  what do you want me to say? i’m sorry? fine. i’m sorry, naomi. i’m sorry for leaving you and your brother with that basket case…  ”  naomi doesn’t listen to the words that come after that, no, instead her mind takes her back to the argument and how she had used the same word to describe herself. it all feels surreal, how things just keep coming back in a full circle.

— flashback: police station. after silverwood.

naomi sits in the police station, away from everyone else. they’ve just been rescued from silverwood and were currently waiting for the ambulance to arrive so that it could take them to the nearest hospital. she sees everyone reunite with their families. daniel’s parents are crying and checking to see if he was okay. damaris and bryce are with some of their family member’s and vee is also with her parents, deep in conversation but with their arms around her. even blair’s dad was here, hugging his daughter with a relieved look on his face. the only people missing were micah and cristian. micah had left with the first ambulance that was on the scene since his condition was the worst of them all ( apparently mayer had stabbed him in the church and he had lost a lot of blood; which worried the fuck out of naomi ) and cristian was currently being questioned.

she had been approached by some of the other parents and even some police officers, asking if there was any family that she wanted to contact to let them know she was fine.

“  no, there’s no one.  ”  she answers,  “  i’ll be okay.  ”

“  … and i told you to stay away from that micah boy. i told you he was bad news and you didn’t listen. you just had to let him move in and look at you now, having episodes like alejandra and coming to my house in the middle of the day throwing a fit. you asked why i pushed you away, well here’s why, naomi. here’s why.  ”  she opens her mouth to say something but the words come out, instead she stands there, defenseless to his words.

there’s a long pause. long enough for carson to know that he’s about to fuck everything up with his next words. 

“ i don’t regret leaving, naomi. it wasn’t a mistake. ”

her throat tightens at the confession and she feels like she’s having an out of body experience.

“ mom... mom killed herself because of you and you... you don’t care you just left... you killed her.  ” she chokes out, feeling the room spin around her as she came to the realization that carson castillo was the true villain in her life.

not mayer. no. her father.

and as if on cue, mayer appears next to carson and this only causes her to stumble back slightly.

“ oh, naomi. this goes deeper than you thought, doesn’t it? both of the prominent men in your life are killers. one offinig your own mother and the other, slowly chipping away at you until you meet the same fate as her. ”

“ s-shut up please, ” she cries out, covering her ears and shaking her head.

“ what would it take, naomi? for you to end it all. for you to jump and fly. fly away from your fucked up life. because there’s really no way to fix all of this. you should just put yourself out of your own misery. ”

“ PLEASE. ” she cries out, dropping to her knees.

“ what’s wrong— ” her dad begins to walk closer to her

“ g-get away. stop. ” she stretches her arms out, causing carson to stop in his tracks.

“ she looks just like you. your mother. very beautiful, the two of you,” mayer kneels beside her, ghostly fingers comes out to caress the spot on her neck that’s been hurting ever since she’s been seeing him.

naomi winces.

“ i know ava’s going took like both you and her. let’s hope she doesn’t inherit the crazy that comes with the castillo women.  ” he speaks, tone of voice as calm as her.

“ but if she doesn’t get it from you then she’ll definitely get it from her daddy.  ”

— flashback: hospital. after silverwood incident.

“ jesus christ naomi. ” carson walks into her hospital room, jacqueline hot on his heels as they stand at the foot of her bed.

“ what are— how— who— ” naomi’s confused, she never told anyone to call them to let them know where she was. in fact, she was very specific on making sure that they didn't find out. well, not yet at least.

“ daniel called us. are you really this ignorant? you didn’t even call. i was worried sick. see i told you, i told you this was a bad idea. ”

“ dad... ”

“ and you did it anyway. this is so typical of you naomi. when are you going to realize that your stupidity has consequences? this was all fun and games in high school but now you’re a full grown adult and you’re still doing this shit.  ”

“ yeah, dad i’m fine. my leg is broken because i got it caught in a bear trap. a serial killer tried murdering me and my friends in a town crawling with demonic ghosts, i was kidnapped by a set of cannibal twins and oh— i’m pregnant. but no, don’t let my problems intervene with your lecture. please, continue.  ”

the room falls silent and the tension becomes so thick and awkward, it’s like a mirage.  

“ you’re pregnant? oh my god, just when i thought things couldn’t get worse. ”

naomi looks down as she feels the tears forming in her eyes.

“ oh, here come the waterworks. ” jacqueline’s annoying voice cuts through the air and that is enough to let a few tears fall.

“ dad i can— ”

“ who’s the father? ”

the question catches her off guard and naomi has not had enough time to come up with a lie for it, so instead she stays quiet.

“ answer me. who is it? is it micah? i’m going to kill his punk ass— ”

“ it’s daniel. ” as soon as the words leave her lips, she regrets them. naomi knows how much her father hates micah and he would follow through with his words of killing him if she admitted to being pregnant with micah’s kid. thankfully she was not but she was too ashamed of telling him the truth. plus, she knows how ‘fond’ carson is of daniel, so his reaction would definitely soften at the news.

“  does he know. ”

“ no. ”

“ are you keeping it? ”

“ dad…  ”

“ are you keeping it? ”

“ i don’t know. ”

“ we’ll talk about this when you’re home. ”

and just like that, he leaves. no tears, no hug, no kiss, no i’m so glad you’re alive, no anything. naomi castillo almost died and it didn’t even phase her father.

naomi stands from her spot, mayer’s energy gone completely but still feeling the tension between her and her father.

“ coming here was a mistake. i knew that but like a dumbass bitch i still came. i still tried giving you a second chance. because that’s who i am—  i try to see the good in people. but there’s nothing good left in you anymore, carson. frankly, i don’t think there ever was anything good to begin with.  ”  she snaps back into reality, looking at him straight in the eyes as she speaks.

“ naomi— ”

“  you’re dead to me, dad. ” she says the last word with such hatred and intensity, she wants him to know that she means it. that she’s finally done with him and all his emotionally abusive bullshit.

not waiting for a reply she pushes past him as she walks out the door, much like she had done to micah days earlier, and gets into her car, ignoring the fact that he was calling after her and following her.

“ don’t do this, vienna. you’re going to regret it i promise you. i can’t lose you too. ” and she laughs, finding it funny ( even though it isn’t ) that he was even saying that. just a few minutes ago he was telling her off, not even bothering to give her a proper apology, blaming her for how fucked up she was, being the heartless person she knew he always was. and now he wants to play the grieving father?

fuck. that.

she cranks the car up, putting it in reverse. she sees him standing a few feet away from the car and she rolls down the window to say:

“ you lost me the day you left. ”

— flashback: hospital. seeing micah for the first time since silverwood.

“ micah … micah where is he?!  ”  naomi frantically looks around, trying to see if she can catch a glimpse of her best friend. it’s been days since they were rescued from silverwood and naomi has no idea what his condition has been or where he was. there’s a panic within her and one of the nurses tries to calm her down, informing her that if she kept freaking out like this, they were going to sedate her.

“ no you don’t understand, i need to know where he i— micah.  ”  as soon as she sees him walk through the doors, naomi gets up and runs over to him  ( well as good as she could with the boot around her broken leg ) , wrapping her arms around him. she tries not to squeeze him too hard, knowing he’s probably still recovering from all the wounds silverwood has left on him. but she holds him tightly enough for him to know how happy she is to see him.

“ you fucking idiot, you scared me. ” she says through her tears, pulling back to inspect him, seeing his face was bruised and bandages on his arm.

“ i scared you? not the ghosts or lunatics in silverwood? ”

“ fuck off, you know what i meant. ” she pulls him in for another hug, so glad to see that he was okay.

naomi wouldn’t know what to do with herself if something had happened to micah. if she lost him. they’ve been ying and yang for so long, that she feels so deeply connected to him, more than she has with anyone ever. he was her rock as she was his. they kept each other from floating away into the abyss that was the world. they kept each other from being chewed up and spit out. micah byeon has had such a powerful impact on naomi castillo and her life that she really would not know what to do if he were to go away.

she loved him.

sniffling, she catches whiff of hospital all over him and she cringes.

“ you stink. ”

pause.

“ and you’re annoying. ”