#also turned off reblogs bc i'm not having people argue with this in the notes

[fletchfeathers]

just bc i've had quite a few land in my inbox recently i need to say again, please do not send me your fundraisers to post

i don't have the time or experience to vet them to make sure they're real (bc there are unfortunately Many scams/bots/AI out there taking advantage of folks' sympathy) and i would hate to redirect any attention from people who actually need it.

i also simply don't have the reach to help you on my own - i have maybe 10 total active followers - and you are much better off sending them to blogs who have the experience to verify you and the reach to actually get you help.

i'm not asking this out of callousness or a lack of caring - i deeply desperately hope you get the help you need. i know how incredibly vulnerable it is to ask for help even when it's just for some money for groceries, let alone when you're fleeing for your life and trying to protect your family, or trying to care for yourself or a loved one, or have a pet who needs emergency care. i will reblog as many legitimate fundraisers as i see from folks who are able to verify them, but i just don't trust my own judgement enough to tell the difference between a legitimate fundraiser and an AI/bot/scammer when it's just someone i don't know in my inbox, and frankly i would hate to get it wrong and inadvertently make things any worse.

thank you for understanding!

[wathanism]

I've heard a lot of people in the ex muslim community say that islamophobia isn't real, and I wanted to throw in my 2 cents as someone who's lived both in swana and the west.

also some quick notes before I start:

1. I pretty exclusively refer to the middle east as swana (southwest asia and north africa) bc I find the term "middle east" to be too europe-centric.

2. I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts so feel free to reblog and add your commentary, but I don't really do debates so don't come expecting me to argue with you.

3. terfs are not welcome here and will be blocked on sight. anyone just looking to start shit will also be blocked.

first off western liberalism has never known how to talk about Islam with any level of complexity and tends to make an absolute mockery of the nuances of the lived experiences of swana people, so please don't assume I'm coming at this from the perspective of a white lady who's never stepped foot in the middle east just regurgitating whatever sounds politically correct. fr, hearing americans (both muslim and otherwise) talk about this subject gives me a headache too so let's just get it out of the way that the entire way the discussion is handled by liberals is unproductive at best and just straight dogshit at worst.

with that out of the way, I guess I'll address the first criticism of the concept of islamophobia which is that it's just racism/xenophobia. which, yeah, it absolutely is, but there's nothing wrong with having a word to explain this very specific brand of racism. our experiences as swana people are unique, and they can't be compared to the experiences of say african americans or aboriginal folk, and their experiences can't be compared to ours. I don't particularly like the term islamophobia, since it impacts all swana people regardless of religion, but it's what we got for now and until a more accurate term comes along, we gotta deal. also you can't really separate islam out of the development of this particular brand of racism.

if I understand correctly, I'd say the rejection of islamophobia in the ex muslim community comes from the simple fact that western liberals cry islamophobia as an excuse to shut down all criticism of islam, regardless of their validity. and frankly, agreed, there's truly nothing more infuriating than when someone pulls that shit, but I invite you bear with me for a second and to look at it from a different angle. because the fact of the matter is that there ARE very valid criticisms of islam and we're not going to make any progress towards human rights in swana countries until we address that.

but no amount of western liberals being really fucking annoying and misguided will change the fact that islamophobia is a real geopolitical entity used so western forces can invade and destabilize swana countries. the US has a long and documented history of backing muslim extremist groups and leaders, only to then turn around and convince their own populace that, "wow look at those evil savage barbaric muslims." this was only exacerbated by the 9/11 attack, and frankly talk to literally any human being alive in the US during that time. the shift was immediate and drastic and pretty damn disturbing. children in schools were forced to watch gruesome videos of terrorist attacks just to be told, "this is what they're like," and news outlets were very intentionally fearmongering for the sole purpose of recruiting soldiers. they weren't discussing any of the nuances or intricacies of the politics in swana; they wanted to convince people all people of this caricature of evil and they painted all swana people as being that. this is why you see even sikhs be victims of islamophobia—it was never about religion. they just needed an excuse to be xenophobic. these people do not care about the rights and freedoms of non-muslim people in swana countries. they won't fight for our women, our queer folk, our ethnic minorities. they are not our friends. if they recognize our existence at all, which they rarely do, it's just to bolster their own agenda and to ultimately justify hurting our own nations and countries even more.

it's important to recognize that this whole complicated shitshow looks very different for muslims in the west and for everyone living in swana. ALL people in swana countries feel the large scale effects of western imperialism which is justified by islamophobia. muslims in the west feel the small scale effects of islamophobia through things like hate crimes, bullying, discrimination, etc. regurgitated by non-muslims who fell for western propaganda. muslims in swana are the religious majority and they hold political power, so they don't experience the kind of 1:1 discrimination that you might see a muslim experience in the west. similarly, white christians are the majority and hold political power in the west, so muslims living there will experience that. both of these perspectives and experience deserve to be seen and represented.

this is where I think a huge part of the disconnect and miscommunication between ex-muslims and western liberals is. they don't know how to separate the nuances and the valid criticisms of islam as a political force in swana from the very aggressive warmongering rhetoric they're trying to unlearn from the propaganda that was shoved down their throats. and we as non-muslims who suffered at the hands of islamic forces barely have a say in the matter, because those of us who faced it first-hand have a target on our back if we ever try to speak out. this, combined with the fact that the experiences of western muslims are so incomparably different from those of swana people living under islamic regimes, makes it really difficult to have this conversation without stepping on any toes.

and honestly the most confusing and frustrating part of this is that, not only is islamophobia a geopolitical force used to enforce violence in swana, but islam itself is ALSO a major geopolitical force used to enforce violence in swana. and somehow, counterintuitively, they feed into each other! the west benefits from instability in swana countries, and islamic regimes benefit from western support. and at the end of the day, everyone gets fucked over (to varying degrees) except for non-muslim westerners and the violent dictators they support.

honestly, I don't know how progress can be made from here. we're kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place. the situation in Iran, tragic as it is, is a good jumping off point to maybe FINALLY talk about this matter with some nuance. I can only hope the sacrifices of the brave women of Iran will not go to waste. call me an optimist, but I want to believe for my own sanity that good will come from this and we can finally make some tangible steps towards meaningful progress in our nations.

EDIT: I also feel the need to super quickly clarify my intention with making this post: I'm not saying ex-muslims shouldn't criticize islam. it takes like 2 seconds on my blog to see that I'm all about calling out the negative impacts of islam on the lives of all swana people. my intention was just to point out that we're all screwed over by the same forces and to encourage a sense of solidarity wherever there may be space for it. it's probably a long shot, but it sure would be nice if we could facilitate a productive conversation with muslims and ex-muslims alike that goes beyond arguing in circles.

[cindersnows]

Is there more info 'bout the jsab au?

It's so good I want to know more

I CANNOT BELIEVE I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO REPLY TO THIS (JAN 2)

okay since i doubt i'm ever going to make the comic i might as well drop all the plot i remember

just a note i'm not sure how much you know about ava/m because i have gotten my fair share of reblogs from people only in the jsab fandom; but i'm going to assume you know the characters at least the story was going to be: red, green, yellow and blue are the "players" (which in this story are just regular guys). they live on this super sci-fi moon world with androids and stuff. the Giant Life Tree, called yggdrasil (inspo from an old friend) is like yk. the thing that gives all shapes life. shapes would still be born without it, and they could live without it, it's just sort of the "electricity" that keeps the entire moon running and alive. without yggdrasil, all the plant matter n stuff would die. of course the shapes are advanced enough that they've developed ways for everyone to live even without any plant matter, but it's still a bit awkward. their society has no actual 'Rulers' persay, but used to have a royal family. the second coming and the chosen one are brothers who are descended from that royal family.

the actual story's plot; the prologue of Ad Lumen would start off with rgyb exploring and stuff because they like to spend time just fuckin around and looking for cool things. they go into this cave, and hear second calling for help. they free second, who has lost all his memory, and promise to help him regain it. suddenly the dark lord bursts into the cave and starts attacking rgyb, and the four run away with second. (he was actually here to find and save second, and attacked rgyb because he thought they were hurting second) chapter 1 would have a year or so timeskip. and then something about dark and chosen taking yggdrasil because they believe chosen has like, the rightful heritage to the throne and that society needs to be united under one rulership again or something. idk rgyb and second get split up (and from here it gets super vague bc i didnt plan out a ton); rgyb have to go and find second because he was taken into the castle by dark. they follow chosen into the volcano (chosen is there to find one of the pieces of yggdrasil because it broke apart). rgyb fights chosen and mentions second. chosen is like oh shit wait second is there??? and just zooms off to go to the castle rgyb turn around and go to the castle too, albeit through a different entrance. they find out dark is doing smth smth with yggdrasil idk --- which turns shapes pink/red and kind of aggressive but also stronger. (dark did this to himself too) second is being forced into the line of people that are going to be turned pink because dark doesn't yet realise second is in the castle --- if he knew that, then he'd get second out. rgyb find second, who's about to be pinkified or wtv, and red jumps in the way. now he's Actually red (and not just orange). brief fight because red's body cannot handle the process and she goes a little bit beserk but green, yellow, blue and second manage to calm them down. then the five go up to stop dark once and for all (peacefully). but once they get up there they see chosen and dark arguing which turns into a fight that catches color gang in the crossfire. dark uses a piece of yggdrasil, and stabs it into herself to gain more power to stop chosen. this goes horribly wrong, annihilate happens, dark goes insane and just destroys everything in vir path: aka red, green, yellow and blue die second gets really angry, and chosen and dark panic and stop fighting. but second has superpowers (re: descended from the royal family) and just goes absolutely apeshit and beats the shit out of dark. he also gets his memories back. he manages to revive rgyb before passing out and then the gang make up with chosen and dark once second explains what he's remembered. all of shape society comes together to agree that actually they do kind of need some sort of rulership (because prior to this everything was anarchy and it Wasn't Working) but we don't see that because the comic ends

i was also thinking about making a second part of the comic, Ad Astra, smth about king/mango tango and purple and victim. i didnt get super far with the idea tho: ik that king would be elected the new ruler, and purple his vice president (??) and they would be doing something bad with yggdrasil. color gang would be trying to convince everyone that king is doing something weird but no one except chosen and dark would believe them. purple would be an android (modeled by pink/orchid after the actual purple, who died as a kid fighting with navy). mango would be a shape. victim would be an android that mango found within the castle's old computer room, who hasn't been turned on in years and gives mango advice on stuff.

sadly i dont have any of the wip panels since theyre all on my old laptop, which broke :((

sorry for the super late response!!!! but here ya go. giant compilation of The Horrors, avjsab flavor

[artsybi]

I posted 114 times in 2022

46 posts created (40%)

68 posts reblogged (60%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@unpretty

@radiofreederry

@noahparaduck

@screaming-nope

@ilajue

I tagged 114 of my posts in 2022

#reblog - 65 posts

#i ramble - 27 posts

#daredevil - 20 posts

#matt murdock - 15 posts

#marvel - 11 posts

#i write - 9 posts

#personal - 9 posts

#original - 7 posts

#my stuff - 7 posts

#i made this - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#bc even if you wanna argue that it's for appearances it's unnecessary! there's no reason for matt to hold foggy's arm instead of his cane

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hey tumblr staff how does it feel to be 1000x funnier than elon musk will ever dream of being

67 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

#4

one of my favorite details from the daredevil comics will forever be matt's white cane turning into his escrima sticks

it's about the symbolism

look, as someone who uses a walking cane i fucking love aids that are/turn into weapons. kaz and his lead lined cane hold a special place in my heart, as does the entire concept of sword canes as a whole.

with matt specifically it's, hold on let me see if i can use some of my english essay writing skill here

it's about the symbolism. it's about taking something most people view as a weakness and turning it into a strength. it's about how his main weapons as daredevil, one of the things that make people notice and perceive daredevil as a threat turns into one of the main reasons people overlook and write matt murdock off. it's about turning something mundane into something extraordinary, it's about how it ties back to his identity and how he allows himself to be perceived, how he wants people to see matt murdock, versus how he wants them to see daredevil. it's about bridging that gap via an object that is equally crucial to both identities but in different ways, as either a weapon or an aid.

i could probably go on but just understand that i am forever pissed that they dropped this detail from the tv show because it feels so important to his character, and i just think about it near constantly so just, take this

77 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

#3

idk if this is gonna end up being coherent but

so, i understand that the pencil tip on matt's cane in the show is probably a remnant of comic artists taking shortcuts where they could when drawing it (especially given that a large portion of them draw it like a walking cane instead of as a white cane which fills me with rage, but i digress) and that two-point touch is easier to show in drawing than any standard roller tip

BUT, i also have Thoughts about matt using two-point touch

because here's the thing, i have adhd and tend to do research when i get really into something, and when i got into daredevil i ended up down a rabbit hole of instructional videos made by mostly one creator who's an instructor for the blind and visually impaired that were demonstrations of how to use a white cane, including fun facts about different tips, demonstrations of different tips in different environments and on different surfaces, so while i'm not an expert on white canes, i do have a fair bit of knowledge on them now

and one thing that i learned, is that pencil tips--and by association, two-point touch--are fairly unpopular and uncommon among the blind and visually impaired, because it tends to give a less clear image of the path and where they're walking. they're also far more liable to get stuck than other cane tips that use a more standard rolling method

so while not actually wildly outside of the norm, matt choosing to use a pencil tip and two-point touch is definitely an uncommon choice, and i just can't help but wonder if it's related to his radar sense

let me elaborate because that probably seems like a weird jump

so my preferred version of matt's radar sense will forever be that while it is mostly unconscious, it does require some effort on his part, and sometimes that's tiring, especially when he's running on Not Enough sleep because of daredevil-ing. so the added input from two-point touch helps him get a slightly clearer picture of where he's walking.

i think of pings on a radar system, or like when sonar runs into something and sends soundwaves back, mapping out the object, and how two-point touch probably helps matt do a similar thing, like an additional input for the echolocation that builds his radar.

just, idk, thinking about matt's cane as something that genuinely aids him, because despite his radar sense he is blind, and relying on radar probably gets tiring sometimes, and how his cane probably helps with that

i've probably put more thought into this than any comics writer ever has but that's the name of the game babie

93 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

#2

PSAs for drawing canes

this is untargeted but i see these mistakes a lot in art so:

WALKING CANES also called SUPPORT CANES or WALKING STICKS are used for support while walking and standing, often best if weakness or an injury is worse on one side. you hold a walking cane in the OPPOSITE HAND of the worse leg. if your right leg is worse you use your cane in your left hand, and vice versa DR. HOUSE USES HIS CANE INCORRECTLY. walking canes should come UP TO YOUR WRIST WHEN YOU ARE STANDING WITH YOUR ARMS RELAXED AT YOUR SIDES. any taller and it becomes awkward to use for support, any shorter and you'll fuck up your back using it.

WHITE CANES also called GUIDE CANES or BLIND CANES are used by the blind and visually impaired to help them navigate. white canes should come UP TO ABOUT YOUR STERNUM WHEN HELD STRAIGHT UP. the coloring on a white cane can also tell you about the person using it, an ENTIRELY WHITE CANE means the person has no useable sight or is completely blind, a cane with a RED SECTION AT THE BOTTOM means the person has some usable sight, and a RED AND WHITE STRIPED CANE means the person is also deaf or hard of hearing. there are also different types of tips for white canes, and just a few minutes of research into the different types would not be misplaced, as they have very different uses.

WHITE WALKING CANES are used by someone who is blind or visually impaired who also needs the support of a walking cane, these LOOK LIKE WALKING CANES AND ARE MEASURED AS SUCH but are usually white and red to flag to others that the person using it is blind or visually impaired in some way.

this has been a friendly PSA by your local walking cane user who is tired of seeing these mistakes :) if you have further questions on the differences my ask box is open, and i don't mind helping anyone who needs it.

93 notes - Posted October 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

feeling fucking inconsolable about the scrapped spectre script

WE REALLY COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL. Q GETTING KIDNAPPED AND BOND RESCUING HIM AND Q KILLING SOMEONE FOR THE FIRST TIME FOR BOND AND A CALL BACK TO THEIR FIRST MEETING AND THEY SCRAPPED IT FOR FUCKING WHAT

248 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fireheartpages]

iii. the hatred of a minute | m.m.

series masterlist

summary: long nights begin being crowded by things you don't want to see materialize, after your legal battle runs its course. the question stands: can you fight your way out of this one? or will you finally fall?

playlist: permit the righteous to be moved | m.m.

word count: 3.6k

rating: 18+, swf, canon typical violence with a slight trigger warning for assault/SA (latter only mentioned in a medical sense), slight she-hulk spoilers

a/n: (playlist starts after if i'm being honest) this quote comes from an edgar allen poe passage, "years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute." hello all! i know it's been like nine months since my last chapter and honestly i shouldn't promise any more consistent updates lmfao. i've moved twice (once cross country) since my past chapter and i'm moving out of state again in like two weeks. so life has been unreasonably crazy lately, but i watched she-hulk and when she said the accords were revoked i was like are you fr rn bc so much of this fic's plot was in fact based around the accords but also i hadn't been writing bc i didn't know what i wanted to so with it so honestly that little tweak in canon made me wanna overhaul the plot and start writing again so here i am!! this is still the bare bones of where i had planned on going with the series but with some changes so that i'll actually be invested in writing it lol and i hope y'all will be invested in reading it!! also shout out to the three people in my notes who reblogged the first two chapters like two days ago that finally made me start writing, yall are awesome. this is for u. (and she-hulk) (oh yeah also matt in she-hulk!! sexy af)

March 2024

Matt could smell your hangover.

Every inch of you was drenched in sweat and vodka and sick. You stumbled into the office of Nelson, Murdock, and Page a little after eleven, half reeling, and rendering Matt more than a little concerned. Foggy met you as you made it in the door, helping you to the small couch next to his desk.

“What the hell happened to you?” Foggy asked, tossing Matt a water bottle to hand to you.

“Have you seen, like, literally any public media source?”

Matt hummed, leaning against the desk across from you. “I did. Imagined you’d take it about this well, too.”

“Thought you couldn’t see, Murdock.”

Matt chuckled. “Good to know your humor’s still in tact.” He unscrewed the bottle an handed it to you. You took it, taking a long sip, then pressing your head to the back of the couch.

“How does, like, the law work?” you asked. “Can I sue? I wanna sue, or something. Get that asshole to put his shield down.”

Foggy laughed sympathetically, walking around to take a seat. He’d told Matt you would be coming in today only about an hour ago, detailing the phone call he’d had with Bucky Barnes. Apparently he’d fished around your purse until he found Foggy’s business card and called, asking if you could come in. Neither of them knew what the topic of your visit was, but after last night’s news spectacle, it wasn’t hard to guess. 

“That’s not how the law works, unfortunately,” Matt answered you. “Also, we’re defense lawyers.”

“Okay, and?”

“We don’t sue people.”

“We protect the people getting sued,” Foggy supplied.

“Assholes,” you mumbled, eyes sliding shut.

“So, what, did you raid a liquor store last night?” he asked, voice dancing with the odd mix of sympathy and humor.

“Tried to outdrink Bucky.”

“How well did that go?”

“Can’t remember a single thing after four p.m., but at least my hangover hurts worse than the news blasts I keep getting on my phone do.”

“You can turn those off, you know,” supplied Foggy helpfully.

“Fuck off, Nelson.” Matt laughed, suddenly acutely aware of the rip in your jeans where your skin poked through unhindered. You were crowding his senses for some reason. He pushed off the desk, walking around just to give himself something to do. He noted what was happening outside the window. Someone was walking a dog, a couple was arguing, a few honks from taxi drivers, the smell of you underneath all the liquor—

Knock it off, he thought. 

He paced back around to the opposite side of the desk, balancing himself on the edge. Your voice coated his thoughts as he tried to focus on what you and Foggy were saying. 

Foggy was explaining something about the legality of the Accords to you that Matt was struggling to catch on to. You swore at whatever he said. Matt let the conversation float over him as his senses crept out to the warmth of your skin and the softness of your voice and whatever shampoo you used that made you smell so good. He dug his nails into the wood of the desk below him, something solid to keep him from drifting into whatever made him like you so much. He knew he couldn’t, knew he shouldn’t, after the alarms went off in his mind the last time he walked you home and you’d leaned into his touch just a little too much. That bit of intimacy you’d offered him, the trust you were putting in him was misguided, unearned, and dangerous. Not with who he was. Not with who you were. 

So he denied himself, as any good Catholic would. 

He was brought back into reality when Foggy directed something at him. 

“What?” he stuttered, willing his brain to come up with something a little bit better. 

“Still with us?” Foggy laughed. 

You remarked, “I thought I was the one who was wrecked,” and he clenched his jaw. 

“My mind wandered.” He took a slow, deep breath. 

He couldn’t ignore the soft laugh you gave, or the way your pulse picked up with awareness under his focus. He could tell Foggy knew he was full of shit. "What did you say?"

"Do you think you could handle a neighborly visit?" Foggy asked.

Matt had no idea what he was talking about.

Thankfully, Foggy saved him the embarrassment of having to ask. "I'm going to do the best I can to figure out how to get around this once Bucky Barnes gets in contact with Sam Wilson. I think you should pay a visit to Mr. Walker."

Matt huffed and shifted from foot to foot. "Um, why?"

"Trying to prevent a murder," he answered dryly, then pointed a finger at you. "You are not to make contact with Walker. At all. I don't care. Relay that message to Bucky as well."

You sighed and rolled your eyes, letting your head lull back onto the couch. Your hair fell away from your neck, exposing more of your skin to the air. No more deep breaths.

"I think it can be arranged," Matt said.

He felt you tense, like you were making to get up, but you didn't move. Matt rounded the desk again, offering his arm to you. "Let's get you home."

You took it, letting him half-haul you up off the couch and into a standing position. Your skin was so soft. "Coffee?" he asked.

"You buying?"

He smirked at you, then turned his attention to Foggy. "Send any updated you find?'

Matt could tell Foggy was giving him a look that he was hoping you weren't picking up on, powers or not. You let yourself be escorted out the door, down the stairs, and out of the building, the entire time not letting go of Matt's arm.

New York liked to pretend to have spring. There was snow on the ground, and the temperature was barely breaking 65, in a way that let non-locals believe there might be some warmer weather up ahead. He knew better, though. He knew New York would stay icy for a long while longer.

He walked along the streets covered with melting snow, dodging tourists and kids checking out colleges on spring break. No one paid him a second thought. People were too busy thinking about themselves. Everyone is always only ever thinking about themselves.

Even when there was so much hurt in the world. So much that needed to be fixed and yet everyone chooses to think only about themselves. Everyone chooses to ignore the help they could give others and instead make it about them. So selfish, he thought. But he wasn't selfish. He thought about other people. He thought about the betterment of other people. Of a community.

That's why it took him so long to pick the perfect person. He didn't want to call her a victim. A pretty blonde in a pinstripe suit. She had just hung up the phone. Perfect, he thought. She wasn't a victim, no. Even as she thrashed and kicked as he came down hard with a hand over her mouth and dragged her into the alleyway just to his right. She wasn't a victim, she was the beginning to the betterment of a community. Of the world.

He pushed the needle into her skin, letting the dosage sink into the muscle of her arm. He'd had to tear her pretty blazer. He was sure she'd be fine with it if she knew. If she knew she was the beginning to a better community.

She lost her fight as the dose made its way through her system, slowly slumping in his arms as he lowered her to the ground, and he left her there to wake up later, making his way back into the sidewalk as if nothing had happened.

"Are you sure they're going to let you in in your condition?"

You laughed, still clinging to Matt's arm as you both made your way to the hospital. He'd insisted on ensuring you made it there safely, despite your protests. It's either this or the rooftops, he's said. He'd bought you coffee. You figured you could start your shift off on the right foot.

"They don't care what state I'm in as long as I can change a bedpan and start and IV," you remarked.

Mat laughed, and you liked the sound. "Let me know if you ever want to unionize."

"We're med students, Matt, I'm not even a real employee."

"That... sounds like it should break some labor laws."

You screwed up your face. "Gotta learn somehow. There could be worse ways. Than legalized slavery."

"Oh no," Matt said around another one of those pretty laughs. God. Go back to when you hated him, you thought. It was so much easier than thinking he was beautiful. And God, was he.

"I'll be fine," you stated, trying (and failing) to stop staring at him in the glistening springtime air. "Couple more cups of coffee and I'll be human-shaped again. Or, med student-shaped. How about you go out there and make sure we don't get any stabbings or GSWs? I want a quiet night."

"I'll try my best," he said, releasing your arm so he could slide his hand up and down it. What a gentleman, warming you up. So polite.

You stood there in silence, trying to come up with something to say maybe to extend the moment, or maybe a dig to make it not as incredibly obvious as it felt that you really enjoyed his company. Before you got the chance, a scrub-clad energy ball launched at you.

"You gotta come in here, we got a chick with some weird-ass symptoms, right up your alley. Come do your funky thing." He shivered. "God, it is freezing out here."

"Derek, no, that's not how this works and you know it." You sighed, closing your eyes, and digging your phone, which had begun ringing, out of your coat pocket.

"It is now," Derek said, smiling like he was sharing an inside joke with you. His smile faltered when he realized you were entirely lost. "You didn't see? I thought you would be jumpin' for joy."

"See what, Perez?" you asked, funneling every inch of exasperation into the question.

"The Accords got revoked. You get to be super doc."

"What?" you and Matt snapped in unison.

You looked down at your phone to see Foggy calling and thrust the phone up to your ear.

"Is it true?" you demanded at the same time Foggy said, "I have the best news ever!"

You heard him laugh on the other end of the line. "No more collar or leash for you, baby! The Accords were just revoked for American citizens!"

"Is he serious?" Matt asked you in a low voice.

You felt like you were going to pass out.

"I knew this had been in the works in congress but I didn't want to get my hopes up, but it's happening, baby!" Foggy was going on.

"What?" you snapped.

"Effective immediately, you are no longer required to sign the Accords. No leash, no monitoring. Go have fun."

"I would definitely still check with your higher-ups before using your abilities at work," Matt supplied.

"Is that Matt? Matt, you asshole, I've been calling you for like 10 minutes!"

"Dude," Derek said, "you've gotta come see this girl."

You were frozen in place, frozen with shock until you felt Matt's hand come to rest on the small of your back. You took a shuddering breath. "So, I'm free?"

"You're free," Foggy said gently.

You hung up the phone without saying goodbye, and turned to Matt. "I should get in there." Patients first, feelings later.

"Have a good evening," Matt said, his hand falling from your back. "Text me when you get home.

You knew damn well he would know when you got home without you texting him. But you didn't say anything. Instead, you turned back to Derek as he walked away and you forced yourself not to let your gaze follow him.

"Do I have time to get scrubs?"

"This chick is wild, okay," Derek began, ignoring your question. "I'd just gotten in when she came in. Flu-like symptoms, so the docs put her on me, right? Turns out, she was assaulted walking to work. All shaken up. I went to go get the kit, but she kept refusing, thought she'd probably feel safer with a female doc. So I offered up one of the interns, but she refused again. Said she was conscious for the entire attack, and all that happened was this guy stuck a needle in her arm and left her on the ground." He kept talking as you rounded the corner into the locker room. "Scumbag, right? I wasn't sure I believed her, but she let me do a physical exam and the only signs of struggle were on her face and neck. And her arm, where the needle went in. So she's telling the truth. And here's the catch. Tox screen is nuts."

You shrugged on your white coat. "How so?"

"Lit up like a Christmas tree," Derek said, shaking his head. "Amphetamine, opiates, benzos, tylenol, you name it."

You raised your brow at him. "Wow."

"And get this, she's bleeding from every line we give her. I tried to put in an IV, blew the vein."

"You're bad at IV's."

"Not that bad," he said indignantly. "But even Mar tried, and the line started bleeding. Mar! Best nurse in this place botched an IV. Doc Cohen tried to put in a central line, more bleeding. Her pressure was skyrocketing every time we tried too."

"That would sense," you said following him further into the ER. "Eight million drugs in someone's system ought to thin the blood."

"Yeah but we get at least a central line on druggies. Besides, she doesn't have any past drug use history. Her lines are clean, man." He led you to a private room towards the back of the ER. You pushed open the door with a sigh.

There was a young girl on the bed, two bloody bandages around her arms and a bandage across her chest. She was pretty, twenty-something with her blonde hair falling out of a ponytail at the back of her head. There was what looked like a designer bag and pinstripe pants discarded in the corner, the matching jacket in an evidence bag.

"Hannah Edwards, this is one of my colleagues, she's gonna do a much better job of figuring this out than we are," Derek supplied as you walked farther into the room.

You introduced yourself with as much smile as you could muster, sitting down next to the bed. "Don't sell her lies, Dr. Perez, please. How are you feeling?"

"Like a human pin cushion with a nasty flu," Hannah said with a weak smile.

"Can you tell me when you started getting the flu symptoms?" you asked.

"Like, fifteen minutes after the guy got me. I laid on the floor, not able to move for like ten minutes. When I got up, I started to go home, but I got, like, super dizzy and feverish five minutes later, so I came here instead."

"You were paralyzed?" you asked.

"I guess?" Hannah shrugged. "I got really groggy for a while and then when I tried to move, everything felt super heavy. It took me, like, ten minutes, like I said, to get up and move. Then I felt all dizzy and came here."

"Good thing," you said. You let your ability reach out ever so slightly, creeping out to touch whatever weird sickness surrounded her.

You jumped back.

"What, what is it?" Hannah asked.

"Dr. Perez, could I see that tox screen please?"

Derek handed you the paper. "Told you, there's almost so much on there that it's unusable."

"She shouldn't be upright with all of this in her system. Have you had any vomiting, Hannah?" You read the tox report again and again, begging the number to make sense but--Hannah Edwards should be dead right now if this were true.

"Just a little nausea," Hannah answered.

"Temp's been bouncing between 100 and 102," Derek said from behind you. "That's the third tox I ran. Same result every time."

You stood up, turning to meet his eye. "Let's get this shit out of her system, please."

You walked out of the room, almost slamming face-first into your resident as the door shut behind you.

"Did you do your thing?" Dr. Cohen asked.

"I, uh--"

"She started to, but something weird happened, huh?" Derek supplied. He'd seen you break the rules with your mutation once or twice or enough to tell when you did.

"It was weird. Like her sick pushed against me. She has so much in her system she should be dead or close to it, but there's something to keep her standing," you told them.

"Which is?" Cohen asked.

"I... don't know."

"Okay, so go find out." Cohen flashed her brown eyes between you and Hannah.

You sighed and shook your head before shutting your eyes and willing the hustle and bustle of the ER to go quiet for just a moment. You let your ability reach out once again, tendrils of invisible power creeping toward Hannah in her bed. You let it lace through every drug in her system, finding familiar things like acetaminophen and penicillin, the odd things like an antidepressant, and the less familiar things you were assuming were things like cocaine and meth, until you found... nothing.

"There's nothing there."

Derek and Cohen stared at you.

"What?" Derek asked.

"All that must be a front. She just has the flu." You looked between the puzzled expression the two shared.

"A flu that came on in less than fifteen minutes," Cohen supplied.

"I'm not saying that's all it is, or all that's gonna develop." You shoved the chart back into Derek's hands. "You should admit her for observation. I need a cup of coffee."

Your phone rang again hours later and as it flashed on the table of the breakroom, you found yourself hesitant to answer.

"Hi, Matt," you said as you brought the phone up to your ear.

"Good evening," he said, his voice silky and husky and you wanted to hang up.

"Hi."

"Are you walking home tonight?"

"Alone," you said. Not the smartest idea, all things considered, but you knew when someone was going to sneak up on you. You were an Avenger for fuck's sake. You could walk home alone tonight.

His voice dropped imperceptibly lower. "What happened?"

"Nothing," you said, carefully keeping emotion out of your voice. "Busy night. And, plus, I don't really need a lawyer anymore, since the Accords were revoked. So."

Matt laughed dryly, and you felt like you could imagine his face on the other end of the phone. He sighed. "You know I can hear your heartbeat through the phone, right?"

"You're so full of shit."

"You're lying to me. Why are you blowing me off?"

"Cause I'm a big girl, Murdock!" You dragged a hand over your face. Attachment was not your style, even Steve knew that, but this guy was making that very difficult. "I don't need you trying to sneak into my bed every night."

"You have got to stop with the lying, it's getting you nowhere with me."

You screwed up your face. "Goodbye, Matt." And you hung up the phone.

Matt was not having a good night. 

He went out on patrol like he did most nights. Like you told him to that night. That was where he'd called you from, a rooftop in Hell's kitchen. Maybe he did go seeking out trouble. Getting into fights he didn't need to be in. He wasn't unaccustomed to getting his ass kicked. No one knew more than Matt Murdock what pavement tasted like. What differed tonight from most nights, though, was the level at which he got his ass kicked. 

Whatever he was stuck with, it knocked him on his ass for a good ten minutes. Groggy and disorienting, like every cell was magnetized to the floor. His throat hurt, probably a symptom of being out in the cold all night. Even Daredevil wasn't immune to the common cold. He hauled himself off the floor with great effort, shocked his assailant left him there, and a little upset with himself he let the guy get away.

He was beaten and bruised and thoroughly feverish as he sat on the subway to Brooklyn.

He didn't want to show up on your doorstep. And you'd made it very clear you didn't want anything to do with him. But he was tired, and everything ached, and if anyone could fix his potentially broken rib, it would be you.

So, no, he didn't really blame you for the shock when you opened the door to your condo and found him slumped against the doorframe.

"Matt?" Your voice was high and indignant.

"I don't--" He fell forward, and you caught him taking off his mask.

"What the hell happened?" you demanded.

"Lost a fight," he managed, letting you guide him to the couch. He felt... some sort of tickle. Something that relaxed his muscles and felt soft, like how he imagined your skin felt.

"Matt, what the hell? Who did you get in a fight with?"

"I don't--" He grunted in pain, then relief as the pain in his ribs subsided.

He felt your face contort in pain, and your breath hitch.

"Don't--" he started.

"What happened?" you tried again.

His body started to feel light, so light, as if he were floating. Then he felt you slump against him, and suddenly, sleep was grabbing at his senses. He tried his hardest to resist it, tried to shake you awake, but he just ended up falling asleep, a hand snaking into your hair.

[incorrect-dishonored-quotes]

hi i just saw your post about the representation in dishonored and i hope i don't come off as rude but uuh reading "phobia isn't a player" felt really really strange... are we going to ignore the "last night" letter from overseer darion which absolutely suggests that his relationship with the other overseer is dangerous and probably deemed a sin by the abbey (which is in turn heavily influenced by the catholic church no? not the most inclusive institution..) also if i remember correctly geoff had to kill someone because he feared for his status when his own relationship with a tyvian soldier was about to be revealed and most of the gang members are implied to have fled poverty, violence and the overall constraint society puts on outcasts. i totally understand the need for healthy representation but sadly that must also include the struggle... where i come from there is a lot of shit going wrong right now and being lgbt is in fact still dangerous for us so i'm very glad whenever i see certain characters in media having the same struggle and being able to overcome it... sometimes they don't and i feel that is life too ... idk what i'm trying to say here its just i really like your blog and you have a lot of attention in the fandom and i think its important to include the gritty stuff as well for if we don't it feels like we're reducing the games to fluffy little uwu au's and honestly there's enough of that around already which is totally fine and i love that too i hope i make sense.. sorry if this message feels like overstepping i still love your blog and thank you for making us laugh on a regular basis (:

The note about the 2 Overseers and Geoff Curnow's story are the only two odd ones out. You could argue the there's another pair of Overseers in dh2, but it's implied they're trying to keep the secret from their wives rather than the Abbey itself. But that's it. 2 stories out of the rest. Breanna wasn't outlasted for being a lesbian, she ran away from an arranged marriage and became a witch. Daud's tragedy wasnt because was ace, he was kidnapped by bad people as a child. Mindy and Wyman's gender is never doubted by others, and they remain in their places of authority and are respected by others. So the most part, there's less hardship in queer rep in these games.

I said in my reblog that recognizing the hardships of queer people is important sometimes. That because, surprise, queer people aren't safe. Anywhere. There are places more "accepting", (aka the "it's fine if I don't have to see it" mentality), but we are hate crimed everywhere. And if we want change, we have to bring it up, and we have to show it... But we don't do that bc we want to, but bc we have to. We do it for the cishets, actually. Putting in hardships is a desperate attempt to change a Karen's transphobic heart. And again, we need to do that, but that's ALL the rep is these days. It's always the "our love is forbidden" or "we can't let our parents know" or "I have this secret and I'm gonna tell you even though you're gonna betray me later bc we gotta keep the drama for the audience's attention" stories.

I wouldn't be complaining about other media if the hardship wasn't everywhere, both in reality and in fiction. It's tiring. We go to fiction to escape reality, so why even put in those themes in your story? Why even want more of it? Don't you want rep for you? Don't you want a break from telling Karen it's okay? Don't you want to be told that happiness is is achievable, and even if it's dangerous out there for you, that there are people that know it's not all hardship? Don't you want some Karens from a videogame company to tell you "We know it's okay. Here's some characters. They're complex like all humans, and their queer identies add to that. We hope we do you justice and find these characters endearing."????

In case you needed to be told: You are more than the hardships you're forced to go through.

-Tad

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 2 episode 3

"PRISONERS"

Notes by me

- everytime Jack calls them Kids I discover 3 new emotions

- "we have no idea what this planet could offer!"

"........trees and moss"

- "I have no idea" 💕💞💕

- ok strange distraught man

- beamed!

- I hate it when Jack tries to explain things to people and they just TURN OFF THEIR EARS

- daniels hat hanging off his neck makes it look like a choker 👀 where's his cat ears

- creepy whistling!!! Dont like that!

- I'm laughing they were literally sent to prison

- feet. Omg what. Worst version of Cinderella

- *a prisoner gets obliterated by the vortex and cut off at the feet*

The other prisoners:

- ok violence! Of course Sam is a possession . can I get one fictional show without "realistic sexism" pls. Can I PLEASE get one show PLEASE

- "kids" 💕

- "tealc, look scary and take point"

- this dude who wants to be tealcs friend is so goddamn creepy *nervous laugh*

- leader lady seems really nice. The fuck did she do to get in prison

- Jack taking daniels glasses off and saying that showing weakness is not a good idea in prison 💜 reblog if u agree

- HUGE big brother vibes. Also Jack is acting like hes been in prison before 🤔

- no glasses!Daniel

- "the great circle"

- "the great wave" is actually a really cool name for the vortex thing

- she can give them the power they need but needs something in return?

- WHAT theyre gonna use....a plant?

- woa woa woa someone attacked Daniel and tealc protected him and we didnt get to see it??? Writers, turn on your location I just want to talk

- bodyguard!tealc

- "what are WE in here for?"

"Jay walking"

- Jack just admitted he was in prison once!!! What when where!!!

- ah yes goopy mud! Yummy!

- I wonder what it actually is? It looks a little like light brown brownie batter lol

- alright the leader of sg3 is kinda hot👀

- SG3 is headed to P2A509 and is no longer on the rescue team for sg1 :(

- P3X775 is where the people who sent them to prison are. The Taldor or whatever

- I'm assuming sg1 is not on the same planet as the people who sent them to prison since they went thru a stargate to get there

- hammond is going personally!!

- apparently she tried to help the taldor with a plague and accidently made it worse so they sent her to prison. Tough crowd

- is this hammonds first time going thru the stargate????

- IT IS!!!

- "the things I do for these people" AJDNRIDNDJSBFKDNFN

- daniel when hes sitting on the ground in the dirt. Its the slutty pose for me

- Jack dragging him up by the arm

- they commited suicide and thats so fucked up. And Daniel tried to stop them :(

- every single prisoner in this prison craves violence

- what was that? That hand device she used looked goauldish?

- saved by tealc!!! Bodyguard!tealc

- um when daniels lying unconcious and Sam is stroking his hair ����😭❤

- meanwhile! I'm having fun with sassy Defense attorney!Hammond

- this Big Voice sounds suspiciously like a machine

- SHE CURED BLINDNESS HOLY moly

- "danny boy" AJDBEISDBDKZNDJDJDK

- wait why are they saying he won the fight? Didnt they see Linea with the hand held thing? She wasnt exactly hiding

- P2A509 ! daniel always with the plan

- "....and this just came to you?"

"No, it came to me while I was suffocating"

- yes! Go meet up with sg3! I want to see the hot Major again 😌

- time for Dirt Soup !

- hahaha Daniel made it to the top of the food chain bc he "won the fight". Its very obvious he didnt but I'm not gonna argue with a bunch of prisoners with an IQ of 3

- using his status so that sg1 can eat first lmfao my boy knows how to play the role💅💅💅💅💅

- tealc giving the dirt soup one look and becoming the human equivalent of the word Nah

- the power of plants!!

- this prisoner is gonna try some shit im calling it now

- it worked !

- LMFAO Daniel could not get out of there fast enough.,,boy was a blur

- did one prisoner get thru?

- daniels glasses resting on his head, holding his hair back ✨

- "this place is so alien"

"I thought so when I first came here. However, over time it has become home"

- its so funny to me when people from other planets call sg1 aliens. Like.....arent your ancestors from earth....that makes you an "alien" too

- exchanging science! Sharing knowledge!! This is what the program is about!!

- "he actually won"

- Jack has bruises on his neck from the fight earlier . I'm looking

- OKAY linea is evil?? Like mega evil? She kills people with plagues??? Its always the sweet old ladies you have to watch out for isnt it

- shit is she downloading all the stargate info? All the addresses they have?

- how in the goddamn fuck does she know how to work computers btw??? She literally locked them out of their own system and she doesnt even know what atoms are??? I'm so confused

- "we let her out"

"The destroyer of worlds"

- I really hope we see her again. This seems like an interesting storyline

~

Whump under the cut

Team sg1 whump: thrown through the gate, prisoners

Jack Oniell whump : grabbed , choked, fought, bruises on neck from rope

Daniel jackson whump: thrown from gate, heavy breathing, threatened, grabbed from behind, squeezed, choked, passed out, unconscious , weak, disoriented

No glasses!Daniel for more than half the episode🤓

🎶listening to Locked Up by Akon🎶

🎶listening to Cell Block Tango from the musical Chicago 🎶