#also took my sister to the animal shelter today and she flipped out and said that the cats make her uncomfortable so to be honest I’ve kind | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

luciendurrant · 7 years ago

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Results Time ~ @JaydeKnox @JosieMSteele

Garett and I triple checked the results of Josie and Jayde’s blood and DNA tests before I let both of them know we had the findings. They agreed to come into the office so I could go over them. I didn’t want to do it over the phone. I also thought it would be a good idea to have Garett nearby in case they had questions that I couldn’t answer. I would only call him in if I needed to.

After the afternoon Jayde and I spent in the woods, I thought that things were pretty good between us. She didn’t seem as withdrawn or wary. I hoped that today’s news would be a positive for both of them. I thought they could benefit from getting to know each other even if they never grew as close as most sisters did. I know I enjoyed spending time with each of them….minus the more dramatic moments. I had a few minutes before they were going to arrive, so I went to fix some tea for all of us. At least it would give the girls something to do with their hands if they were nervous. --------------------- I hung up the phone with Luc and had to collect my thoughts. The results were back. I hadn’t expected them back so soon, was this even soon? I never thought to ask how long it would take to get them back. I made sure the address I had for the clinic was the right one and headed outside to find a cab. It wasn’t hard to find one, and once I gave the driver the address, I settled back in the seat with nothing to do but stare out the window and think. My thoughts were all over the place. I’d either have a sister when this was over, or I’d still be completely alone. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the seat, trying to clear my head and stay calm. It wasn’t long before we were pulling up to the office. I paid the driver and thanked him. I got out of the car and stood there for a few moments before going inside.

------------------ Luc’s call came as I was leaving the Library. Even after all this time I was still hoping to find some answers about the Martin House. At least it was a distraction that I could lose myself in. I stepped outside to take the call, so I didn’t disturb the others studying or reading. I must have had a strange look on my face when I came back in. Brandee approached me to ask if everything was ok. “Fine, thanks. Just an appointment that came up.” She nodded and returned to her desk. I gathered up my things and returned the items I’d been using to the Heritage Room before heading over to the office. ---------------------- Garett told me he’d be with the shelter animals if I needed him. I thanked him and asked him to wish me luck. He laughed and shook his head. I was just setting the glasses of iced tea on the table in Garett’s office, which he graciously let me borrow when the receptionist let me know that Jayde had arrived. I told her I’d be right out. I thought Jayde might be a little nervous and didn’t want just to have her find her way back. -------------------- The receptionist smiled and told me to have a seat. After a few moments, she let me know that Luc would be right out. I sat down in one of the chairs, a million thoughts going through my head. I wasn’t sure how this was going to play out, and a part of me wondered if we were sisters, how was Josie going to really feel about it all. And at the same time if we weren’t, how would she feel. I still hadn’t wrapped my head around the idea, either way. A part of me wanted us to be sisters because then I wouldn’t be as alone. I would have a family. I would know where I came from and I could know who my parents were, even though I’d learn about them through Josie. I was okay with that. But the other part of me didn’t want it to be true. Because if we were sisters, then I was like her, dual-natured. And that was something that I didn’t understand. I didn’t know what to expect. It scared the crap out of me. ------------------ When I arrived at the office, Jayde was already there. She felt really jittery, and I hadn’t even stepped inside yet. I watched her take a seat in the waiting area for a moment before walking in. Just as I was approaching her and about to say something, Luc appeared. Jayde didn’t seem to know where to look. I offered my hand and helped her to her feet since I wasn’t sure if her legs were going to hold her at the moment. “Looks like I’m right on time,” I smiled hoping that she wouldn’t feel any kind of threat from me or from either of us really. “Hello, Luc,” I said as he gently took Jayde’s hand. I then followed them both to the office, nodding to the receptionist as we passed her. ------------------- Josie must have just arrived when I walked out. She was standing there beside Jayde who looked a little like a deer caught in the headlights. I said hello to each of them as Josie helped Jayde up. I think more because of Jayde’s nerves than anything else. I slipped my hand into Jayde’s and gave it a squeeze to ground her. “Shall we talk in Garett’s office? I have iced tea ready for us. Thought we’d be more comfortable there.” I kept Jayde close and knew that Josie would follow behind us. In the office, I had arranged the chairs in front of the desk angled so that we could all see each other. I guided Jayde over to one and waited for her to sit before moving out of Josie’s way and sitting behind the desk. “Please make yourselves comfortable.” I then gestured to the glasses of tea. ------------------ I had a feeling they both thought I was either going to bolt or faint. Honestly, I wasn’t sure which it was. The idea of bolting had its appeal, not so much on the fainting. The last thing I wanted was to faint in front of either of them. I took a few deep breaths after I sat down and smiled, or tried to, “Sorry, my nerves are in a state today. I’m okay though, you can both stop looking at me like I’m going to faint. I promise, I’ve eaten at least once today.” I laughed a little, hoping they’d both know I was joking. ------------------------ I swear the more time I spent with Jayde the more she sounded just like me. I hoped that she’d see that as a good thing if the test results showed what I thought they might. Luc and I laughed as we exchanged looks. “Sorry, Jayde. You just seemed a little...overwhelmed.” I took a drink of the tea Luc thoughtfully provided. “You actually reminded me of how I felt when I first learned what I was.” I gave her a quick smile and then turned to Luc. “You said you have the test results for us. Nothing bad I hope.” I wasn’t sure if they’d search for anything besides blood type and DNA matches. ---------------------- I shook my head at Josie’s question. “Nothing bad at all.” I handed each of them a few printouts. “The top sheet shows the test results with a side by side comparison of your DNA. The next few pages help interpret them. Why don’t you take a few minutes to look them over and then we can discuss them?” I had a feeling that one or both of them might want a few minutes to absorb what was finally in print. The fact that they had enough DNA matches in common to show that they were in fact sisters. ------------------------- I didn’t flip past the first page. I couldn’t have if I wanted to. It was right there in black and white. I wasn’t totally alone in this world. I had a sister. I had a family. I had parents, even though they were gone I had them and I could get to know who they were and what they were like. Obviously, I knew I had parents the whole time, after all I was alive. But this meant I actually had parents. Parents that didn’t want me? Or that thought they were helping to save me? I looked at Josie who was going through the papers, did she want me as a sister? Or was she disappointed with the results? She did say that I reminded her of herself, did she mean that in a good way? A small part...okay a big part hoped she did. I quickly looked back at the papers before either of them could see my face. We had the results, but where we went from here was our choice. And it all depended on her reaction to the papers in her hand. ------------------------- Of course I saw her glance at me. If our positions were reversed, I would have done the same. I wasn’t surprised by the results, but I’d had a lot longer to deal with things than she had. I flipped through the pages, scanning the details. I knew once I found that birth announcement that she was out there somewhere. I just never expected her to….fall into my lap so quickly. I couldn’t help but smile a little. Even if she wanted nothing to do with me. With us. I had a sister and I knew she was ok, or would be with Luc’s help. I turned to Jayde, “I don’t know how you feel. Good or bad, it’s ok. I promise. All the years we could have been together and gotten to know each other were stolen from us. But it’s not your fault or my fault. We can’t change the past, but we can change the future. If you want to.” ————————— I didn’t want to break the mood, so I stayed quiet and sipped my iced tea while I listened to Josie talk to her sister. The first night didn’t go as smoothly as we wanted, but I hoped Jayde could see past it eventually and have at least a friendship with Josie if nothing else. Neither of them deserved to be alone. Not when they didn’t have to be. ————————— I looked over at Josie, again, and smiled hesitantly, “I wasn’t sure which way I wanted or expected the results to go. Honestly, there were so many possibilities to either way this went. On the one hand, if it came back that we weren’t sisters, a part of me could still hold onto the hope that maybe you both were wrong about me being like you.” I took a deep breath, “But on the other hand, if it came back that we were, it meant that I had a sister. I had family. I wasn’t as alone as I thought or felt I was my whole life, especially here lately. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m not disappointed by the results.” I looked down at my hands, “But if you are, I’ll understand.” --------------------- I needed to be careful how I answered. It was clear that Jayde was still feeling vulnerable. I leaned forward to set the papers down and take a drink. “Jayde, I never needed this test. I felt a connection between us and knew who you were from the start. I wish the circumstances had been different, but I'm happy with the results.” My smile wasn’t forced or hesitant. I hoped she could see that. I was ok being alone….until I wasn’t. Then I found myself alone again. But now I had a sister. ——————— I exhaled softly as I listened to both of them. So far things were going better than I expected. I knew Jayde was still leery of our claim that she was a shifter, so I hoped that this would help. “Since we had the blood samples, we went ahead and did a comparison to find out definitively whether or not you are dual-natured like us, Jayde.” I slide another piece of paper over to her. “There are three samples from shifters. Garett, Josie and me. Then there are samples from you and the receptionist Alice for comparison. Alice is not a shifter. You can see the results in the pictures of the blood cells on the slides as well as the DNA samples. There is only one of the five that is not similar to the rest. Alice’s.” —————— I had a sister and one who was happy with the results. I smiled at Josie and then turned to Luc when he handed me the other paper. I looked it over while he talked. So I was a shifter, at least according to the results here. I bit my lip. It seemed I had gained a family and another part of myself. I looked up, and looked between them, “So this means I am like you two?” When they both nodded, I felt my calm starting to slip. I nodded, “Alright. Okay. So...what exactly does this mean? I mean...how does...how do you...I mean me...I mean we…” I sighed and tried again, “What happens now exactly?” -------------------- I was grateful that Luc thought ahead to give Jayde the proof she needed to begin to process the idea that she was a shifter. I still vividly remembered how confused and scared I’d been. I wanted more for my little sister than that. “You’re still taking your meds regularly, right?” Jayde nodded and bit her lip. “That’s good, Jayde. I don’t want you to stop cold turkey like I did.” I smiled and tentatively rested my hand on her arm. “We’ll figure this out, but we’ll go slow ok?” —————— “I’d like it if you had a checkup. A full physical. I can do it, but if you’re more comfortable with someone else, Garett will be happy to help. He’s a great guy. Very gentle and compassionate.” Josie and I exchanged looks. “Once that’s done and we know that you’re in good health, we can make plans to wean you off the meds slowly. Gradually reducing your dose until you’re off it completely, but timed so that it’s not too close to a full moon.” —————— “What would happen if it wasn’t timed right and it was close to the full moon?” I thought for a moment and asked the question I was terrified to ask, “Is there a chance that...that this could end up hurting me? Or...kill me?” I took a deep breath and sighed, “Okay, one or both of you are going to have to tell me what is going on or rather what will go on. Please? You can’t treat me with kid gloves. If we do this slow and easy I’ll never be ready. I appreciate what you both are trying to do, but if we keep doing this like I’m a kid or a baby, we won’t ever get anywhere. And it will just freak me out more.” I took a breath and smiled, “I appreciate it, I really do. I know you’re both just looking out for me. But if I’m going to do this, accept this, we can’t go too slow. Just...you know...rip the band-aid off.” ------------------- “No, of course it’s not going to kill you,” I sighed. “Luc just means we want to time it that way so you can practice shifting and get the hang of it before the full moon. On the full moon, the urge to shift is unavoidable. There’s no need to make things more difficult than they have to be.” She may have accepted that we were sisters, but she was still a long way from trusting either of us. ————— “Josie’s right. Once we get you off the meds, which we are going to do slowly, then we will teach you how to shift. You might take to it right away or it might take practice. We won’t know until the meds are out of your system.” I sat back in Garett’s chair. “As we wean you off the meds, you’ll start to notice your senses intensifying. Smells, sounds, sights.” Josie smiled a little and said, “That part’s kinda cool actually. Being able to see and hear things better.” ————— I looked at Josie, “Is it?” When she kept her smile in place and nodded, I asked “Was it difficult for you? The way you went through everything?” I turned to Luc and asked, “When you say wean me off my meds, how do we do that? Lowering the dosage or taking less and less, like a whole pill to a half pill to a quarter pill until they are gone?” I wasn’t sure I liked how all of this was going to happen. But I trusted them, at least enough to get me through this. Thanks to the doctor, I had a hard time totally trusting anyone. But they hadn’t been wrong yet, so the least I could do was trust them on this. --------------- “It is something I don’t want to go through ever again. Something I refuse to watch you go through. Even if you weren’t my sister. It was scary and painful and confusing.” Someday I might tell her more about Ezra, but not today. “The most important thing to remember is that you aren’t going to face any of this alone. Luc and I want to help you if you’ll let us.” It really was up to her now. If she didn’t trust us to help her, we couldn’t force her. I would never force her to do anything. ————— “Josie’s right. We do want to help you.” I debated having Garett here to try to explain this better. “Cutting your pills in half or in quarters isn’t precise enough. What we can do is look at your dosage. Let’s say it is 1 50mg tablet per day. We will then get you an equivalent amount in smaller amounts. Say 10mg tablets. So you would take 5 of these smaller tablets instead. Then eventually 4, then 3 and so on until you’re only taking 10mg. Then we can have you take it every other day instead of every day. Does that make sense?” ————- I thought about that for a moment and nodded, “Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Look,” I looked back and forth between both of them, “I know I haven’t been the easiest person to break all of this to and for that I’m sorry. You can blame the good doctor for that. Or rather you could, if he was still alive. But I do trust you two. You’ve been right about everything else so far. So it’s only fair to trust you and believe you’re both right about this, too.” I took a sip of my tea and sighed, “This hasn’t been easy for me. In the last month or so a lot has happened that’s changed my life.” I looked at Josie, “Some for the better, some for the best, and some well, I don’t know yet about its change. I’m doing the best I can, and I am grateful for both you helping me through this. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank or repay you two for this. If I’m still talking to you after this.” I laughed a little. I had to joke some or I’d go crazy. ----------------- “No need to apologize, Jayde. I know better than most what kind of changes you’re dealing with. It is a lot to deal with. For what it’s worth, you’re handling it better than I thought you might.” She really was. There was no reason for her to talk to us after that first night, but she did. No matter what was thrown at her, she hung in there. Yeah, she was definitely my sister. “So where do we go from here, Luc?” I hoped he had an idea since I was fresh out. ————— The longer I spent with these two, the more they sounded like sisters. So much alike. “I think Jayde keeps taking her meds. Then gets an exam with me or Garett. Once we make sure she’s in good health, we can start on her med reduction. For right now, unless you two have any questions we’re all set.” I liked spending time with Jayde, but thought she might need some fresh air and time away from us. ————- I thought for a moment, “Um, just a quick question. Since the doctor did raise me, is the exam really a must? I mean, after all, he constantly did check-ups and drew blood. I’m not saying no to the exam, I just don’t know how I feel about another going through what he put me through.” I didn’t say anything and I didn’t look at them. I trusted them, but I didn’t want them to know about all of it, at least not yet. There was no need for them to know everything that I went through. ------------- Her question and her body language had me on edge. What exactly did that monster do to her? “I’m sure Luc and Garett just want to make sure that you’re ok. Blood pressure, temperature, urine sample. That kind of thing. The meds are pretty strong. I used to take them, remember? They could mask symptoms if you had an infection for example. Right, Luc?” ————— She was almost as jittery as the night we met. There was clearly something she wasn’t telling us. I needed to be very careful or we might scare her off. “Exactly. We can keep it simple like Josie suggested, but if you really don’t want to be examined, we won’t, ok?” Josie and I exchanged looks. She seemed to be as concerned as I was. What did this guy do to her? ————— A simple exam. How bad could it be? I nodded, “Alright, if you think it would be a good idea for the exam, then I’ll do it. I don’t want to have a horrible ordeal all because I passed up an exam that could have helped us find out if there was something wrong before it was too late, so to speak.” I willed myself to calm down and smiled, “So when do we get all of this started?” I was starting to think maybe the doctor hurt more then he helped with these pills. I sighed. So goes my life lately. Nothing is simple. ------------- I looked between Jayde and Luc. “Jayde, you don’t have to do this right now. There’s no hurry.” I don’t know if Luc could pick up on it, but I was sensing a lot of mixed emotions behind her smile. “I think you’ve been through enough today.” I didn’t want Jayde to feel like she had no say in her life. To feel like Luc and I were taking the place of the doctor who raised her. —————- Josie had become very protective of Jayde in such a short time. If I agreed with Jayde, would I be upsetting Josie? If I agreed with Josie would Jayde feel like we ganged up on her. “Whatever you decide, we’ll do, Jayde. Now or later. There’s been enough out of your control lately. You should have some control over what happens next.” —————— I smiled and nodded, “I think, if there is no rush, I’d like to wait for the exam.” They both nodded. I wasn’t sure, but I felt like they were still worried I was going to bolt or freak out. I didn’t blame them. I hadn’t exactly taken all this news so well, except for today. I was trying. I looked at Luc, he was watching me carefully. Josie too. I sighed. Maybe I did need a few days to compose myself? “If we wait on the exam, do we wait for the rest of it too?” I still had no idea what to expect when it came to shifting or even coming off the meds totally. Josie said it had hurt and was horrible. Is that what I had to look forward to? She and Luc seemed to think not. They both thought with their help and being eased off of it, it would be better. I hoped they were right. I really didn’t want anymore pain in my life. ---------------- I was relieved I guess that Jayde wanted to wait. She had already been through a lot lately. And she didn’t have a hunter to wrap her in a well-loved quilt and tell her everything was going to be okay. I didn’t either for that matter. “I think once they finish your exam, then they can plan out the meds. Right, Luc?” I finished my tea and set the glass on the desk. I didn’t know about Jayde, but I kinda wanted to get out of this office. —————— “That’s right, Josie. Next week or whenever you want to stop by for the check-up, we’ll run a few tests and make sure you’re doing ok. Then Garett and I will go over your meds with you and plan out the new dosage schedule. Until then just take your regular doses, but let me know if you don’t feel well for any reason. Deal?” —————- I smiled and nodded, “Sounds like a plan to me.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. I just sat there for a minute trying to figure out what to do or say next, but nothing came to me. I bit my lip and sighed, “Is...is there anything I should be worried about? Or expect? I’d rather not be caught off guard again if I can help it.” ----------------- I didn’t want to make her any more nervous than she already was. “Maybe my dosage needed adjusting but I had...um….blackouts for a while. Doesn’t mean you’ll have them.” I sighed softly. I didn’t know whether knowing that was going to make her feel better or worse. I’m grateful I had Ezra when I did, but would Jayde feel the same about Luc and I? ------------------- “Josie’s right, Jayde. Just because she had blackouts doesn’t mean that you will. We haven’t changed anything you’re doing yet, so it’s unlikely that you’ll have any problems. Have you ever noticed that you don’t really get colds and things like others?” Josie looked at me oddly, but I simply waited for her response. Another of the benefits of being dual-natured was an enhanced immune system. We just didn’t get sick all that much. --------------------- I thought about Luc’s question for a minute and shook my head, “No, not really. But I always assumed it was because the doctor was always running tests and had me on the meds. I figured that with the tests he ran, if anything was wrong he caught it early enough and that was that. Why? Am I like really sick or something?” --------------------- I silently thanked Luc, he found something positive to end our meeting on. “Actually I think Luc is referring to something else cool about being a member of our...um...club. We have really great immune systems. We rarely get sick. Definitely a plus!” I laughed a little at the look she gave me. I could tell she’d had enough when it took her a minute to get it. She finally laughed and shook her head. ——————— “Maybe we should have lead with the benefits, huh?” I winked at Jayde and swore she blushed a little. Maybe I just wanted her too. “So keep doing what you’re doing and let me or Garett know when you feel like that check-up.” I passed her one of Garett’s business cards. “And if you need anything or just want to talk, call me. Or Josie of course. Any time.” ——————— I took the business card from Luc and sat there for a minute, playing with the edges of the card. I didn’t think there was anything else for me to say. I mean really what could I say? I had a sister and was dual-natured, meaning I would turn into an animal, which seemed to have its benefits. “Just one more question, and I will get out of your hair.” I turned to Josie, “You turned into a fox,” I looked at Luc, “I don’t know what you turn into, but my question is...what will I turn into? How will I know?” --------------- It was a good question. A great one actually. “It’s true that my go-to animal is a fox. Not sure exactly how or why. But shifters can turn into almost anything that they’ve seen.” I often wondered why a fox, but thought maybe because I’d observed them so much during my photography. “I haven’t tried to shift into many other animals. A mouse once, but I hated it. Way too small.” I laughed a little. “Maybe that’s something we can play with….later.” —————- I was quite distracted by the thought of Josie as a mouse. It was hard not to laugh. I cleared my throat. “I’ll let you find out my go-to animal for yourself another time. If it helps, you could try focusing on a favorite animal. That might be your first shift.” There was time for Jayde to figure out what she was comfortable with. “You’re probably gonna have a lot of questions. Try to remember that you don’t need to ask them all at once. Give yourself time to….absorb the answers as you go.” —————- I nodded, “Alright. I guess that’s everything I can think of at the moment. Sorry if the comment about the go-to animal was a little personal. I hadn’t meant for it to be. I’m still learning the do’s and don’t’s of all this.” I thought about what they said, but I couldn’t help but wonder, what if I didn’t have a go-to animal? I wondered if there had ever been anyone who was dual-natured but couldn’t shift. Of course that led me to wonder would I be the first one that it ever happened to? I sighed. At this point it wouldn’t surprise me. I mean after all, my luck lately had been crap. ------------------- “Jayde, your question isn’t too personal. There’s nothing you can ask us that’s stupid or silly or inappropriate. We asked you to trust us, and you have. The least we can do is be open and honest with you.” I felt like for every three steps forward, we took two steps back with Jayde. I wasn’t sure what it would take to move past that, but I was willing to work to figure it out. ——————— “Josie is right. You didn’t ask anything wrong. I don’t want my go-to choice to influence yours. Does that make sense? I want you to have the chance to own this and make it personal. There isn’t a right or wrong animal. It’s all about what feels natural to you. It’s not a test you pass or fail. I promise.” It was so hard to figure out what Jayde was thinking. Did we tell her too much? Not enough? —————— I listened to them both and nodded, “It’s just...I don’t know anything about animals. Except what I was taught in school, when I was allowed in school. So I was just thinking that I don’t have a favorite animal, not really.” I thought for a minute before shrugging, “The only animals I ever paid much attention to were birds.” I smiled a little, “I used to sit and watch them for hours. I was in a cage and couldn’t do anything without permission. While they could just spread their wings and fly away on a whim. They could go anywhere any time. There was no one and nothing standing in their way to just spread their wings and fly.” I finished the last of the sentence quietly and couldn’t bring myself to look at either of them. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle any looks of pity. Not right now when I felt so...small? ---------------- “Sounds like you are well on your way to having a favorite animal, Jayde.” I couldn’t help but smile. “I think a bird of some kind is a perfect go-to for you.” I really did think it worked. Her eyes lit up when she talked about it. Her whole demeanor changed. It was lovely to watch. I couldn’t help but think it would be fun for this fox to play hide and seek with a fine feathered sister as well. ————- “I like it. Freedom. Flight. I think it will work great for you.” Wasn’t about to muddy the waters by asking her what kind of bird. There was plenty of time for that. She might even have fun trying different ones. “I have to admit you keep surprising me with your questions. They’ve been smart and specific. I’m not sure that I would handle myself as well in your place.” ————— It was my turn to laugh a little, I looked at Luc, “My nerves get the best of me sometimes, and it’s hard to come to grips with things. Especially when they’ve been thrown at me like the last few days. I don’t always have the best reaction to things that have the power to totally change my life, even if that change turns out to be for the best. Which is really what I hope all of this is. But I’ve learned enough to know that sometimes, even if you can’t accept what someone is telling you at the time, it’s better to be prepared, just in case they are right. You and Josie have been right so far. And you’ve both been open with me and haven’t hid anything. Well, not that I know of. So, really, I have no reason to think you’re lying about what I am. Is it what or who?” I tilted my head as I thought about that. Am I a what now? Or am I still a who? I wanted to think I was still me, just with an added bonus at least in time, I hoped it was a bonus.

I turned to Josie, “Do you really think a bird will work? I mean will I really be able to fly if that’s what I...shift...into?” I think the better question, one that I kept to myself, of course, is would I ever want to change back if I had the ability to fly? “What made you choose a fox? Or did it just happen?” ----------------- Just when I thought we were wrapping things up, Jayde would come up with another question. Great questions, but not the best setting. We were still in a doctor’s office after all. “It’s a long story, but it just sort of happened. Maybe because I used to see a lot of them when I was working.” I didn't want to have this conversation here. It felt too cold, too clinical. -------------------- I could tell Josie was uncomfortable. I wasn't sure why or how to fix it. I didn't think it was because of Jayde though. “As far as I can remember, it just happened for me too. Maybe it’s in our genes? I’m not sure, Does that help at all?” I doubt it would, but it was all I could offer her right now. --------------------- I laughed and shook my head, “Not in the slightest considering I’m just learning about my genes. But for now, I think it’s the best answer I can hope for. I guess I’ll find out more about that when the time comes, right?” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I think...I think I need to get some air and get used to the idea that sometimes I’m going to become an animal and, at this moment in time, it’s an unknown animal. Maybe I should go home and do a little research? Or maybe get a pet?” I shook my head, “I wouldn’t know how to even take care of one. I wasn’t allowed.” I looked up at the amused expressions on their faces, “And I’m rattling on again.” I blushed a little, “Sorry,” I stood. “I guess I, um, better get out of here before I talk either of your heads off any more than I already have.” ----------------- “If you do decide to get a pet, you’re in the right place,” I laughed. “Garett has an animal shelter here, too. Did you drive or do you need a ride? I’m heading out too and don’t mind.” I stood up and took the papers Luc had given us carefully folding them before slipping them into my purse. “I don’t know about you, but it’s been a long day, and I definitely need to stretch my legs a bit. I don’t always sit still well.” I wasn’t a fidgeter exactly, but it seemed to me over the last few years that shifters liked to move or do something all the time. ------------------- I got up and moved around the desk to the girls. “I appreciate you both coming here today. I hope that this was something positive for both of you.” I really did. Finding out you had a sibling you never knew about when you thought you were alone had to feel good, right? “I have some things to do here for Garett, or I’d also offer to see you home if you needed a ride.” ---------------------- I smiled at them both, “A taxi dropped me off. If you have things you need to do, I can call them back. While I wait, I could go look around the animal shelter.” It’s not that I didn’t want to spend more time with Josie because I did. I wanted to get to know my sister, and I had so many questions about our parents. But I didn’t want her to feel like she had to all of a sudden take care of me. I sighed. This was going to be an adjustment for me. I wasn’t used to someone wanting to take care of me without an ulterior motive. The doctor always had a reason for everything he did. And it was never for my benefit. I looked at Josie and smiled, “But if you don’t have anything to do, I’d love a ride home.” ------------------ “Not a problem,” I smiled and then turned to give Luc a quick hug. “Thanks for everything, Luc. I appreciate how you’ve handled organizing all this and helping us with the technical stuff. Please thank Garett for the use of his office, too.” I tucked my bag under my arm. “I’m going to use the restroom before we leave. I’ll meet you out front, Jayde. Bye, Luc.” ------------------- “Happy to help, Josie.” After she stepped out, I turned to Jayde. “Are you doing okay? This has been a lot to take in. I’m not sure I’d handle it as well as you have.” It was true. I had been born a shifter and knew it from a young age. We weren’t advertising it around town, but I always knew I was different. Not a monster. Just different. Neither Josie nor Jayde had that luxury. I couldn’t begin to imagine how difficult it was for them to adjust. Josie seemed to be doing well, but Jayde was just starting out. --------------------------- I nodded to Josie, “I’ll be there soon.” I smiled and turned to Luc, “Honestly? I am not sure how I’m taking all this so...calmly? When I get home and I’m alone, I’ll probably freak out a little bit.” I laughed a little, “But I’ll be okay. Like you said, it’s just a lot going on right now. There was a lot thrown at me these last few days, Josie too. I think the biggest thing that I’m having issues with is the shifting thing. I just have so many things going through my head about it. It’s freaking me out more then it should. Having a sister is actually nice. Even if we don’t know each other yet. At least I’m not alone in the world. Ya’ know?” ----------------------- After I washed my hands, I headed outside. I didn’t see Jayde, so I took a seat on the nearby bench to wait. There was a cute bakery across the way so I had plenty of people watching opportunities. A sister. I had a little sister. I couldn’t help but smile a little when I could hear my hunter grumble about there being two of me now. Good-natured grumbling of course. ---------------------- “Even if she wasn’t your sister, you won’t be alone, Jayde. Josie and I would still be here for you.” I leaned in to whisper in her ear. “We shifty people are loyal like that.” I had to laugh at the look on her face. “Lighten up, Birdie. It’s not all that bad, I promise. Call me if you need anything or just don’t want to be alone, ok? I won’t even make you talk to me if you don’t want to.” I lightly kissed her cheek and handed her the papers she’d left on the desk. “Did you want these to take with you?” -------------------------- I blushed and stammered a little, “I, um, yeah. Thanks.” I folded the papers up and slid them into my pocket. “Thank you for everything you’ve done so far.” I tilted my head as I looked up at him, “Birdie? Is that going to be my nickname now?” How had I not noticed, after everything, how kind his eyes were? Even when he smiled, it reached his eyes. --------------------- I couldn’t help but be drawn to the birds in the trees. A bird. Hmmmm….I had never even thought of trying that, but maybe it would help Jayde when the time came. Guess I could try it out on my own. An early morning when the dawn was just breaking. I never had anyone to show me what to do. I guess my body just did what came naturally during my blackouts. I hope Jayde had an easy time of it. That young woman deserved to catch a break. ——————— When Jayde asked, “Is that going to be my nickname now?” I just laughed. “Maybe. Too soon to tell.” I hadn’t really thought before I called her that. Hope I didn’t overstep any boundaries. “So I’ll talk to you soon. Take care.” Reluctantly I walked her to the waiting area and then waved as I headed to find Garett. ————— I watched Luc go and sighed. Too soon to tell? I was the only one who seemed to be too worried about this. Not that Luc and Josie didn’t care, they did. I knew they did. I was just so overwhelmed with everything that I was stressing over every little thing. Maybe I should take a page from Luc and Josie’s books. They seemed like they were pretty sure I was going to be just fine through all of this. Maybe I should try to see it that way, too. I mean, I could at least try, right? I headed outside and looked for Josie. I smiled when I found her and headed over to her. “Hey” ----------------- “Hey yourself,” I grinned. “Come sit with me for a minute.” I patted the bench beside me and waited for her to sit down. “I’ve been watching those birds over there. Just to the side of the bakery. See?” I pointed to a small group of birds on the ground. “Watch that little one. All of them are trying to get the crumbs and leftover pieces near the garbage, right? The littlest one keeps getting away with the biggest pieces. He’s a fighter.” I couldn’t help but smile. I hoped Jayde took him as a good sign. I did. —————— I didn’t know why she wanted me to sit at first, but I did anyway. When she pointed at the birds, I couldn’t help but smile. We sat there, quietly, and watched the birds. There wasn’t any urge to talk and fill the quiet, I hoped that was a good sign. After a little while, I turned to her, “Can I ask you something?” When she nodded, I asked, “Does it hurt? When you shift? Is...is it going to hurt?” ---------------- I sighed softly. “I don’t honestly know how to answer that. I’m not sure how long I was shifting during blackouts. Most likely for a few years before Ezra recognized the meds. But now that I do have a handle on my shifting, it doesn’t hurt. It’s kind of...freeing. And the part I think will appeal to you...I’m in control.” —————— “I think that’s what I’m most afraid of. That I’m not going to be able to control when it happens. I’m terrified that once I’m off the meds I won’t be able to control what happens to my body. I’m scared that I’m not going to be able to control when I shift. What happens if I’m in a crowded place and all of a sudden I lose control? Or if I’m on a bus or train and it happens? I don’t understand how any of this works or what’s going to happen. I’m terrified.” I closed my eyes willing myself not to cry in front of Josie. ------------------ I rubbed her back and stayed quiet while she tried to collect herself. “It’s not like that, Jayde. It doesn’t work without you. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s something you have to be...involved in if that makes sense.” As her breathing started to settle, I stroked her hair. “If you weren’t terrified, I’d be really worried. And not just big sister worried.” ——————— I smiled and turned to look at her, “I don’t know what to think anymore. I have all these thoughts and feelings going through me right now. I don’t know what to do with any of it. I feel so…” I shrugged. I was trying to figure out the right words. I sighed and turned my attention back to the birds, “I feel like I have to keep going and moving. It’s like I can’t be still. My nerves are on overdrive. My mind is racing. How do I turn it all off? How do I go back to being just...me? A few weeks ago, there was nothing special about me. I was just the quiet girl who kept to herself and did as the doctor said. I didn’t cause problems. I didn’t throw fits. I didn’t do...anything. I was less then ordinary. I barely clicked on anyone’s radar. There is nothing special about me.” ----------------- “You sound more and more like me all the time. Not sure that’s good or bad yet.” That at least got a smile out of her briefly. “My suggestion involves a hot bubble bath, some candles, and favorite music. Didn’t you mention you had a friend back home? I think you might need a nice long FaceTime session with her, too. She can remind you of who you are when you forget. But that’s just my two cents.” —————- It wasn’t until Josie mentioned Hope that I even remembered I had one other person. “How on earth will I ever tell her the truth about me? Is she going to hate me?” I wasn’t really asking Josie, I was mostly talking out loud to myself. “A hot bubble bath, candles, and good music?” I smiled when she nodded, “And that’s going to cure all of my worries, huh?” I sighed, “If only that’s all it took to fix all my problems. It’ll help me relax and may clear my mind for a little while. But it won’t work forever. I think that the only thing that is really going to calm me is getting over the first time. I think I’m so scared and worried because I don’t know what to expect. I know I can ask you and Luc anything, but I think it doesn’t matter how much I talk to either of you, no offense, it’s not going to prepare me enough.” I thought about what I wanted to say next, but I wanted to be careful ‘cause I didn’t want her to take this the wrong way.

“Luc, from what I’m gathering, knew what was going to happen and knew about this his whole life or at least most of it. You said you don’t remember when you first started shifting. It’s been different for each of you, and I think it’ll be different for me. You and Luc have helped so much, and you’re both offering to help more. I appreciate it so much, and I’m totally going to take advantage of it. But I don’t think it’s going to matter what either of you says or how much you prepare me for it. Until it happens, I’m going to be terrified.” ------------------------- “You’re right. Just know that it’s not going to happen spontaneously. It’s not like someone suddenly throwing up or having a heart attack. Not the most pleasant examples, I know. It’s not a lot of help, but it’s all I have right now.” I smiled a little and brushed the hair from her eyes. “There’s a lot more I want to talk to you about, but not today. I hope that’s ok.” I dropped my hand to my lap and looked back over to the birds. “Look! That little one’s got a piece almost half as big as he is again.” ——————— I looked over at the bird and laughed, “He sure is a fighter.” We watched the little guy for a few more moments, and I turned back to Josie, “It is okay that you don’t want to talk about everything today. We have a lot of years to cover, and we can’t expect it to happen all at once. It will take time, I know. I would really like if one day, we could talk about our parents. I’d like to know about them. I...I’d like to see a picture of them if that’s okay.” I didn’t want her to feel like I was taking them away from her. I just wanted to see what they looked like. If I looked like either of them. -------------------- I smiled and nodded. “I’d like that. I thought maybe we could have a sleepover at my place. Just talk, eat junk food, get to know each other. A girls’ night. Pretend we’re just like other sisters. Would you like that?” It sounded corny when I said it out loud, but I meant it. “I never had close friends growing up. I was a loner. Foster homes and then out on my own. Having a sister….it’s kinda like a fresh start for me, too.” —————— I smiled brightly and nodded, “I would like that. Very much. Especially the junk food and girls’ night part. I was a loner, too. But at first, it wasn’t by choice. I wanted friends. I figured since I didn’t have, well I didn’t know I had, a family that I should at least have as many friends as possible. But we moved so much, and each time I lost a little more of myself, even at a young age. Each time I had to say goodbye, I cried. Eventually, I made fewer friends, and I cried less. Until it got to the point that I realized no friends meant no crying.” I shrugged. It didn’t bother me so much anymore. But the thought that I could start over and not feel like that, I grinned, “I’m totally looking forward to it.” -------------------- I smiled and stood up. “Somehow you found at least one though, right? Let’s get you home. I think there are bubble baths in our near future. It helps relieve the tension and nervous energy in my muscles.” I laughed a little. “You’re not the only one who’s been nervous about all this.” Jayde looked at me oddly as we walked to my car. “I might appear to be calm, cool and collected, but inside I feel a lot like you do most of the time. I didn’t….for a while, but that’s a story for another day.” ——————— I watched her face as she said the last part, and I knew. I knew that she had had a hard life too and that things hadn’t always been easy. Maybe we weren’t as different as I had originally thought. “A bubble bath sounds amazing right now. Although, I don’t have any candles handy. So I may have to head to the store first. I’ve pretty much just been getting by on the bare essentials. It makes it easier if I have to pick up and leave at a moment’s notice.” I sighed, “Geez, the guy is gone, and I’m still living like he’s going to come bursting into my room and tell me we’re leaving in ten minutes.” I was starting to wonder if that was ever going to change. ------------------- “How about we swing by the store before I take you home? I found a great place with homemade soy candles. They burn a lot longer and have amazing scents.” Jayde laughed and buckled her seatbelt. “Works for me.” I smiled as we drove. It almost felt normal. Me and my sister driving to a store before heading to her place. Maybe it would become normal soon. That was worth whatever we had to get through to get there.

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