#also to make him cry and feel like a heel for inviting someone he shouldn't into his life

[dyrewrites]

Bloodhound -- flower

“House to ourselves, flower,” Deluca cooed to the less wriggly infant in his arms, “you don’t like him here, do you?” He asked, wondering if she could smell Leandro’s intent as easily as he could see it—if it blurred too often.

Searching the office for anything he might need to clean up or hide from her, and eyeing the phone but unwilling to check his voicemail, he nodded. With the silver put away—the memory of the wolf’s efforts burning through the taste yet throbbing in his veins—there were few worries for one hardly two feet tall if she tried to stand.

So he moved on to show her more of the house.

After showing her some paintings, “Oriana, meet Lucient, your papa.”

She cooed and burbled, earning his giggles.

As well as a response to projected words—for she was not speaking so much as trying mouth sounds,“Yes, he is close to the werewolf here earlier, isn’t he, but it’s important to me that you to see the differences.” Adding, for himself alone, as I should try to more often.

While pointing out more memories of Lucient, Deluca ended up wandering through the office, around the corner from his desk and out into the garden.

Bad place to be.

Even with the glass long swept up, flowers replanted, and every pot of soil where it belonged...there was a hole. More than the one in the ceiling telling of his agony and shame, the greenhouse itself—cradled by high stone walls crawling with flowering vines—was empty of life. Oh, the flowers were growing, would have been beautiful if not for so many missing petals from his last dive into them.

But his love wasn’t there, wasn’t tending to them in his delightful hat and gloves. Wasn’t singing to them as he so often did, or giggling so sweetly rich when he was interrupted by warm arms and warmer lips.

So it was a bad place to be.

With the lie of him still in his veins, on his lips, on his skin, and a promise in his arms he worried he’d never get to meet...it became a worse place. Emptier, darker, bleak despite the bright colors of marigolds, chrysanthemums, lilies, roses—and far more important but less emotionally relevant flowers—spread among long planters, tall pots and flatbeds.

All were kept alive by sigils he’d had carved in the walls to preserve what he couldn’t—ever active. Sigils which pulsed, every so often, to make them appear more sweetly vibrant than reality.

“This,” he tried, really he did, to tell his own flower of all the ones her papa grew there, all those he worked so hard to keep alive for him. Those he failed to do so for his heat ruining the delicate temperature of the greenhouse—facilitating the sigils.

But he couldn’t get the words out.

Oriana didn’t mind if the big warm thing that took her from all the choking blood and screams could tell her about the pretty things, only if she could touch them. Which she did her best to do just then, worming out of his arms and landing perfectly on feet that shouldn’t have been so steady yet. Dropping to all fours, she ignored the sniffling heat she escaped—one ignoring her as well, lost to his sorrow—and crawled for the closest pretty thing she could reach.

Golden as her eyes it was, though she’d not seen her eyes, and she held it high to catch morning light through the great big hole above her. Burbling loud and almost saying a word, which came out more as, “fow-ah.”

But it was close enough to get attention, to notice.

Deluca noticed too the color of her eyes so close to that flower and why, perhaps, he chose to call her his.

Kneeling beside her to point at it, he spoke clear and slow to tell her what it was, “mar-i-gold, it’s your papa’s favorite flower…just as you are mine,” he added, snatching her up and earning a slew of giggles for it. The flower she kept, close and tight in her arms as Deluca sniffed more tears and nodded at the mess, “non più broncio, fiore mio. Babbo is done with all this sulking,” aware he was lying, he tried again, “or I will try to be done. We’ll fix up the garden and...and maybe a certain flower would like to learn to care for others.”

[tokoyamisstuff]

Sleeping Beauty - Franken Stein / Reader

Summary: Initially planning for you to serve his insatiable interest for dissection, Stein's intentions went into a whole different direction.

Warnings: Angst, Noncon, Somnophilia, Alcohol, Drug Use (Narcotics), Unprotected Sex

Words: ~4700

A/N: You know I can't live without making it at least a little fluffy in it's own way - at least as far as it can go with a noncon story, that is.

I personally believe my stories about the topic to be kinda mild, though it goes without saying that if this isn't your cup of tea, you shouldn't read it.

Again: ⚠️Dead Dove: Do Not Eat⚠️

"You really have changed, Franken."

It's been a long time since someone adressed him by his first name, probably way back at DMWA. Not that he cared, though it was typically used to scold him.

"For better or worse?" Stein asked , not bothering to look at you. The whole evening already he was giving it his utmost to avoid eye contact at any cost, acting all focused on random things.

"Dunno" you responded bluntly as you swirled your third glass of wine, taking a huge sip to loosen yourself up. "Just different. Guess we have to wait and see."

You on the other hand haven't changed at all, he deduced as he finally, almost unnoticeably side-eyed you. Still the perfectly composed, obedient A-grade student. Well, now teacher, he corrected himself. But boring nonetheless.

Back when the two of you were classmates, you would somehow always magically appear whenever he would be in - or rather cause - trouble. You sure were a bothersome class representative, preaching to the young Stein countless times, dragging him to activities or otherwise forcing him to spend time with the classmates he otherwise wanted nothing to do with and the other way around.

Yes, you surely were a stubborn one, constantly going out of your way to make someone who chose to be an outsider feel like he belongs - and no matter how often he tried to scare you away like all the others, you'd always somehow laugh it off.

As if he ever needed your help, let alone your pity.

During all those years, no matter your efforts, Stein had convinced himself that he loathes you and everything you stand for...

...now that he's matured, however, being able to see his past in a different light-

"Say Stein...you know that I had a little crush on you back in school, right?"

'Little' was the understatement of the decade - you were full-blown head over heels for this man. And meeting him again, even after such a long time, might have reignited those emotions you had long since buried...

...not that you'd ever admit it, though.

"Oh, really?" Stein seemed as indifferent as always - at least on the outside - and you've expected nothing more. "You have a terrible taste, then."

"Maybe that's true." You laughed it off, being proud of yourself for finally daring to voice those feelings after all those years.

Well, actually you thought to have been pretty upfront about your feelings, even if you never actually confessed. The signs surely were there...

...especially when you asked to become his new partner after Spirit ended their unusual friendship. He declined, harshly saying that someone like you could never be a replacement for anyone and would only drag him down.

That was the first and only time Stein had actually managed to make you cry.

Little did you know he turned you down solely in order to protect you from his destructive personality, fearing what might become out of him eventually - madness grows exponentially to strenght, after all.

Pretty selfless action for a person known to be a egoistic sociopath, huh?

Afterwards, as clueless and heartbroken as you were, you would stop your attempts to integrate him to the class completely. No more lectures about his behavior, no letters or invitations to join you after class anymore. You would also stop joining him during lunch break, trying to have a conversation and get to know him.

You had simply given up and accepted that this was the way he wanted to live.

At first he felt relieved to finally have some peace and quiet - yet even though he couldn't make sense out of it, Stein occasionally felt his chest narrowing whenever he saw you having fun with anyone else.

In a certain way, that was even worse than having you around - seeing easily you had forsaken him, and how his absence in your life did not make any difference to you after all.

Stein had always known that due to his twisted personality, he was not someone to even remotely be liked or wanted, but rather shunned and feared. And he was alright in this comfort-zone he had created. Telling himself to need nobody, that they were all beneath him and only his own interest would matter - until you came along, and made him used to your presence and weak to your influence.

Now he felt empty, being alone with his thoughts was agonizingly lonely - leaving him longing for something he had always known a freak like him could never have.

You surely were the worst.

This silent grudge Stein would hold until your graduation, only at the ceremony learning that you had never accepted anyone else as a partner - having become a Death Scythe completely on your own.

Impressive, he had to admit, surely worthy of earning his respect. But impossible...no. llogical, considering that perfectly kind and gentle soul of yours making you basically compatible with anyone.

The only thing almost as great as Stein's impulsive drive to tear apart simply everything that awoke his interest was his ego. He rather chose to focus on his abilities rather than what he was lacking - one of his many unhealthy coping mechanisms.

So the thought of you always only ever wanting him to be your partner would only amplify that unhealthy pride. Maybe he was that special to you, after all.

Not that it mattered. Even knowing this, Stein would be the last person to know how to properly deal with such a situation. It was just a theory of his, and he would rather drop dead than to come crawling back just for a little chance of it being true.

Well, time sure flies and since none of you ever dared to approach the other, you ended up walking separate ways...

...but not a day went by that either you or him asked yourself what would've been if only you reached out for the other.

Anyways, here you were, more than ten years later and still as incorrigible. So close, right in his living room -and yet the metaphorical wall between you as present as ever.

And if it wasn't for Master Death's order that all Death Scythes were to return to DWMA, who knows if you'd ever have met again. It was surprising, Stein's offer that you'd spend the time of your work at his laboratory. Surely cheaper than a hotel...

...and closer to the man you were supposed to observe.

You were still shocked to find out that Master Death didn't trust the most excellent student to ever graduate, who had stayed a close ally and great help at all times. And even with the Kishin's wavelenght obviously having it's effect on many, you refused to believe that Stein could fall victim to that severe madness inside of him - for years, you've personally seen his willpower to not fall astray from his path.

But orders are orders, you were in no position to deny it.

Might as well use the time to enjoy yourself.

"What's wrong?" Stein asked, and his almost worried tone cut you right out of your pondering. "You're a bit pale."

"Oh, I-I...huh?" Suddenly, it was hard to string together a sentence. As if the words in your head was all messed up, and your lips wouldn't listen to your brain's command. "Ma-aybe to-oo much wi...ne."

A mild panic rose in your chest as your vision became blurry, feeling how you failed to keep yourself upright...

...just for Stein to rush right to your side, catching you in his arms.

"Hey, there..." You could hear him clearly, yet were unable to respond. "Maybe we should get you to bed."

The tall man effortlessly scooped you up from your spot, surprisingly gentle as he held you into his arms. It was calming, somehow. How his heart was beating so calmly, and his sweater smelled like disinfectant and tobbaco.

"Stein?" He suddenly stopped in his tracks, certain that you were suspecting something. "Yes?"

"I-I...I may still have a crush on yo-ou."

There was a long pause between your confessions and his answer.

You looked up to him expectantly, forcing yourself to stay awake and waiting for him to say anything at all...

...what you saw from that currently limited eyesight of yours made your heart stop several beats.

He looked angry. Furious even - and disgusted.

Was he mad at you for saying this? But why?! Did he think you weren't serious about it? You wanted to add something, to solve this possible misunderstanding, but to no avail. Your mouth just opened and closed several times without making so much as a sound.

Stein mutely clenched his jaw so tight his teeth almost cracked, squeezing you in his arms as he thought about what he was about to do to you. Your words echoed in his head, the remains of his conscience taunting him for making such a great miscalculation...

...for what he was suppressing, despising, denying all those years might actually be love.

"Let's talk tomorrow" he hushed you, a bright, fake smile decorating his face.

God knows you'd die of embarassment by then, but before you could object, your mind and body had already entered the land of dreams - the last thing you've heared being Stein's voice. "Rest now, dear."

Dear. A single word giving you hope that your feelings might be reciprocated. That's something worth dreaming of, was your last, hopeful thought.

___

This evening went the complete opposite of planned.

But it was too late now, he decided as he carefully let you down on the mattress. He might definetly despise himself for it, but concluded it would make no difference to him. It was his second nature, anyone close to him would fall prey to it eventually.

The huge distance made forgetting so easy, but now? He could never stay away from you, now knowing what he knows.

Regret spread through his whole self like a disease: If only he had swallowed his pride earlier. If only he had been brave enough to explore and confess those feelings for you - with you.

If only ou had never met him in the first place. Anything would be a better fate than for someone to fall in love with his miserable self.

Stein couldn't have you either way. At some point, even if he'd actually be able to let you peek behind the facade, you'd flee - terrified of what you'd see beneath.

He would need to change the sheets afterwards, he pondered as he thought back to easier times with Spirit. You were just as naive as him, trusting Stein so unconditionally - but unlike his former partner you were actually smart.

It was sure you'd easily notice if he didn't perform his work to perfection, including every detail around it.

Cutting off your clothes were out of question, or it'd be suspicious. So Stein would unbotton your blouse, cautiously lifting your upper body to unstrap your bra. It was almost like you were embracing each other like that, the way your now bare breasts were pressing against his chest irritating him beyond belief. He groaned in annoyance at the distracting sensation before laying you down again, working his way to unzip your skirt...

...only to find that you chose not to wear anything beneath it to begin with.

Stein cursed internally, desperately trying to ignore the need rising between his legs, grabbing his throbbing cock through the fabric of his pants to ease the aching sensation. He tried becoming level-headed again, taking a marker out of the pocket of his lab coat and got started.

Easier said than done.

With not a single inch of your skin left covered, concentrating was a sheer impossible task - for his hands would constantly slip to linger on your skin longer than needed to mark his incisions.

Stein seemed relieved when he was finally finished with the marks, trying to be as objective as a mad scientist can be and focus on his work again. The screw in his head clicked and creaked as he turned it, but it did nothing to bring order to his troubled heart and mind.

Preparations were almost complete when he filled a syringe with the actual anaesthetic. The drug in your drink was just a weak medicine to force you asleep, but subjects would need something far stronger to endure being cut open alive, and to cut out their movement completely.

The doc's hands were trembling as he searched for a vein to inject the drug, disrupted by you stirring in your sleep. You yawned, deeply in trance and Stein couldn't help but adore your beauty even in that state.

Stein catched himself putting a few strands of hair out of your face, thumb running over your cheek and jaw just to be stuck at your lips. Your skin was incredibly soft he realized, moreso than he had ever imagined...

...and then, out of a whim he put the syringe to the side, a deep sigh escaping his lungs.

Maybe, just maybe he wouldn't need to dissect anything today. It would be a waste to scar this beautiful body.

Again, you would move ever so little in your sleep, humming contently next to a beast like him. Part of him wanted to leave, to go and tear something else apart before even the last part of his rationality would succumb to his desire...

...but when you gave in to his touch instead of flinching away, even daring to smile all innocent, he knew he was done for.

"Damn it, Y/N..." Stein whispered, his hand subconsciously wandering to your body once again.

If only you would've kept your mouth shut earlier, then he would've been able to pull through with his initial plan to get back on you for abandoning him back then. Nothing too cruel, but you may have woken up without even a trace of what he did, blissfully unaware.

...but now, knowing what he never thought possible...he just couldn't deny the feelings he inherited for you any longer.

Stein's large hands roamed the curves of your body, found their way all from the neck down your collarbones to cup both of your breasts, which betrayed you and stiffened under his touch.

Before he knew it, Stein found himself on the bed, towering over your defensless body as he hesistantly opened your legs.

"Shit...fuck..." he spoke with a low voice, the sight of your pretty cunt only animating him to go furhter. His mind was running, already having several ideas in mind for a new 'study'.

Goosebumps raised on your skin as Stein positioned himself in front of your sex, palms running down the sides of your sides stopping on your inner thighs.

You were so wet already, so ready without much of his own intervention it awakened some primal urge in the usually rational man.

One of his large fingers, then two sank into your tight wetness, welcoming him effortlessly. His breathing hitched when he heared an almost-moan escape your vocal cords, just to fall silent once again.

The man repeated the action, his fingers scissoring in your innards until they found a spot your body would react to. He felt your walls tightening around his fingers, numb body giving it your utmost to move your hips onto the pleasant sensation.

Your lips quietly parted, inhaling sharply when he pulled out of you all of a sudden, tasting your juice from his hands. Instantly, he'd grab your hips and bury his face in between your legs, tongue sliding through your dripping folds and settling to tease your erected clit. His actions earned muffled cries in return, desperately pressing his agonizingly sensitive crotch against the mattress.

More. More more more MORE!

Only now it dawned on him, the reality of how badly he needed a release - and Stein wanted only you to give it to him.

Stein needed you. To see you, feel you, have you in every way imagineable. He knew it'd never be enough - that was how much his subconsciousness was screaming at him right now.

When he'd finally pull away, seeing your lustful trembling body all at his mercy, he quickly unzipped his pants, rigorously pumping his cock as he aligned it with your entrance.

Your limp body went rigid as he slowly pushed himself inside, and a deep groan of his echoed against the walls when he felt himself stretching your insides.

This was perfect, you were perfect, and he would dwell in that sensation forever if he could...

...yet he'd need to be fast, before either the narcotic wears off or his conscience would catch up on him.

"Y/N, I- shit, this is all your fault..."

It didn't take long until Stein lost himself in this feeling, thrusts getting harder until he slammed his hips against your core, obscene noises filling the room.

The sound of his uncontrollable moans were dampened by his lips against your skin, getting wilder with every response your body gifted him. "So beautiful...damn..."

Much to his own surprise, he had never felt so in control over his own madness as right now. His hands would only slightly claw at the skin of your delicate neck, mouth raising blood and bitemarks like his initials on your skin - tender enough to have disappeared by the next morning.

"So fucking good for me" he panted, and your breath fastened to his rythm as well. Stein's eyes were closed, imagining what it would be like to have you writhe beneath him, awake and enjoying the things he did to you.

Somehow, he wished for you to be aware of what was happening - to hear those sweet affirmations he was never able to tell you before.

"I've always liked you. You happy now?" Stein gritted as he grew close, body melting against yours in exasperation. "Shit, Y/N...I'm sorry for everything...I've missed you so, so much. Every single fucking day."

As soon as those thoughts, this heavy burden he had carried all those years had finally left his lips, Stein's lips would crash over yours, tongue exploring your mouth with a frantic need...

...and his blood run cold when he felt you kiss him back.

It could happen from time to time, that a subject regains consciousness and passess out soon after again, most likely not remembering anything from that brief wake.

But the fear of being caught in the act was not what was worrying him - it was your eyes.

The way you were looking at him through half-opened lids, carrying so much genuine affection he felt his heart would burst out of guilt.

Obviously you were still far away from reality, yet even though you seemed a little confused you were so content and trusting that it made something settle deep inside of him.

"Ste-in...mhh..." you whispered quite hoarse, mustering up all of your strenght. It wasn't enough to speak again, however your lips managed to form silent words.

"D-o-n-'t s-t-o-p."

Stein almost howled at the realization, whatever he was feeling right now making him feel like he couldn't breathe. He balled his fists in the sheets, continuing at a slower, more passionate pace.

You shaked and quivered beneath him, mutely begging as Stein fucked you through your high. It was a sight to behold, your perfect breasts moving together with him, the way your mouth formed a little 'o' while making all those lewd noises. Your scent was everywhere, pheromones luring him to continue until he might as well lose his mind.

He would need to pull out soon, that much he owed you, or- no.

An irrational idea popped up in his mind that was otherwise wiped cleaned by pure lust: Yes...he wanted to see your belly grow round, for you to have his baby so badly. It would be a great experiment to watch you carry his child.

All for science, of course...right?

Stein held you close, so close as if he wanted your souls to touch each other. He seemed everywhere at once, smothering you in kisses until he felt how your walls narrowed around his swollen cock. He grabbed your ass, ramming himself deeply inside one last time and spilling as deep as he could.

Stein called, screamed your name like a sacred prayer as he came, not caring if you'd remember - wanting to, actually.

Sweat was dripping from his forehead, hands intertwining before ultimatively collapsing above you with his head buried in your neck, right at your pulse point. He had no intention to pull out just yet - wouldn't want to let his seed go to waste.

There wasn't much time left until the narcotic would stop working, Stein sadly noticed after cleaning you up, nuzzling against the small of your back and leaving a trace of kisses there as he enjoyed that last bit of proximity he might ever have with you.

"I'm sorry, Y/N" he whispered remorsefully, voice cracking. "But I think I'm in love with you..."

___

It was already way past noon when you finally rose from the dead, feeling as if you haven't slept at all even though it was more than twelve hours already.

Looking to your left, you saw a bunch of pills and a glass of water on the nightstand, together with a note: "Take 2. Don't want you to vomit all over the place. ~Stein."

There was a huge blank spot where the hours of last evening should be - and when you remembered your earlier confession, you already felt shame rising at the pitch of your stomach just thinking about what else you might've told him.

Stein on the other hand had watched over you the whole night, unable to find any rest himself. He'd try to impring every little detail of your face into his photographic memory, in case it would be the last time he'd be able to see you.

As soon as you woke up however, he stormed out of the room and buried himself in his work - in a desperate attempt of distraction.

After all, he couldn't possibly know what exactly you'd remember once you'd wake up, if anything...

...but the possibility of having lost you forever after getting a second chance - and being the only one to blame for that - sure was terrifying.

"Good morning, sunshine" you cheered sarcastically, friendly mocking the man that looked just as awful as you did.

Stein immediately stiffened at first, but was quick to regain his composure at your welcoming voice. "Morning you too, sleepyhead."

The animal Stein was currently dissecting on the kitchen table did nothing to soothe your sore stomach, only amplifying the sudden nausea overcoming you.

"I might've overdone it yesterday..." you hiccuped, rubbing your stomach with one hand while the other covered your mouth. "Sorry for causing you trouble."

"Oh, not worth mentioning." Stein wouldn't look up from his little experiment, dismissingly waving his hand. "There's leftover food in the fridge, if you're hungry."

"No, thanks, I'll pass" you groaned, trying to gloss over the fact that you were still feeling like shit. "Need any help with that?"

Stein furrowed his brows, questioning your sincerity. "Really?"

"Yeah. Well, I might not be very useful at first, but maybe if you teach me-" A loud bang interrupted your suggestion, hand having slipped off the table you had been resting your weight on.

Luckily Stein - as always - instantly came to your aid, supporting your body whose legs had weirdly given up all of a sudden. They had been wobbly ever since you took your first step out of the bed, and you felt familiary sore somehow.

"Are you really alright?" He sounded serious now, almost scolding. Probably both because you were overdoing yourself so early, and also because he was the one responsible for your state. "Be honest with me, Y/N. I don't want you to faint again."

"Y-Yes.." you stammered, feeling jittery beyond belief. Even after all those years, Stein could still make you flustered just like that, and you were tired of hiding it. You wondered if he knew of that fact, since nothing ever goes past him.

It felt like electricity shot through your body as soon as you touched, brief memories flashing in front of your inner eye faster than you could perceive. "Just had the weirdest dream last night."

"About what?" Sometimes it was almost creepy how quick his mood could change, and now was exactly a time like this. At that angle the glasses hid his eyes, and the rest of his expression was unreadable.

"Mhh...you know what?" you snickered shyly, a shiver running down his spine when you reassuringly touched Stein's shoulder. "Actually, it's not that weird. I dream like that pretty frequently. Just felt awfully real this time."

"Oh?" Stein's blank stare instantly turned into a cheeky grin at your words. "Sounds interesting. People tend to say reoccuring dreams have deeper meaning. Like something you wish to happen, for example."

"You wish I would tell you, huh?" You confidently poked his chest, raising a brow at him. "By the way: I was butt naked when I woke up. That couldn't have been you, right? Little pervert."

"Well, you vomited all over your clothes." Stein had prepared an excuse for every possibility, so lying came as easy to him as breathing right now. "They are in the washing machine."

"Yeah, I figured out that much." Having changed your mind about eating, grabbed an apple from the counter, only able to take one bite without feeling sick. "Just wanted to mess with you a little. Thanks for taking care of me. Seriously."

Stein sure was confused whether you were actually clueless or were trying to get him to confess - yet when he took a look at your soul, it showed no sign of ill intend. "As I said, no big deal."

You weren't accusing at all, even waking up from a comatose sleep without any clothes - in the house of a man who was known to cut up people in their sleep just for the sheer fun of it!

It's not like you haven't thought of the possibility, to be honest. But then again, you weren't cut up. There were no wounds on your body whatsoever - asides from a bruise or two you were sure the blockhead caused, because he bumped your body against the door- and bedframe while carrying you.

"Umm...Stein..." The man seemed busy with his own thoughts, but you tugged on his lab coat, making the way taller man look down to your height. "About what I said yesterday-"

"Maybe we should postpone that conversation for when you feel better again, okay?" You sank your head in defeat, both in worry and disappointment. It was obvious he meant bad news, avoiding the topic like that.

And there you were, thinking something had changed between the two of you...how stupid.

"Now don't look at me like that." Your eyes widened, heart beginning to race when you suddenly felt Stein's palm on your head, gently patting your hair. "Do you really think that bad of your new partner?"

Partner?!

"Say, Stein..." You wriggled out of his hold, unable to meet his eyes as you nervously paced on spot. "You would never hurt me, right?"

"Wow, where's that coming from?" The man rubbed the back of his head, looking understandably confused at your question. "Your dream, is that it?"

"N-No!" you exclaimed in panic, trying to explain yourself. "The dream was...pleasant, but- That's not it. It's just so sudden, and-"

He looked at you expecting and impatient, yet also presenting you a genuine vulnerability he had never showed anyone - so you hesistantly continued. "You didn't want me back then, and...it hurt."

You grabbed the fabric of your shirt, heart still aching at the remembrance. "I just don't want to feel that way again, so if you're unsure, then-"

Before you could even finish that sentence, Stein would already take your hands and gently pull you in for a soft embrace. "I'm not good at being...well, good, but I can become better. And I apologize for hurting you back then. It will never happen again."

His arms wrapped around you, and with your head against his chest you could clearly hear his racing heartbeat. "I promise you: I was never so sure about anything in my life."

This time, you wholeheartedly believed he was speaking from the heart - and you could get used to it.

"Trust me, Y/N - you're evidentially the only person I could never harm."

[momowoah]

Was too lazy to make three posts so here are my thoughts on the last trio of GG eps

Spoilers under the cut

Episode 10

Julien's smile when she looked at Zoya <3

Audrey being worried bc Max skipped classes and wanting him to be around + Julien supporting throuple is the best

Also Max not wanting to talk with or be around them...

Kate is hilarious sometimes

Nice change to see Audrey and Monet in the same place and not fighting lately

Aki's TikTok lmaoooo

That's so embarrassing, poor him

Max's smile after teasing Aki

Also Audrey and Zoya being completely friendly?

I will absolutely love to watch Monet and Julien fighting for the crown next season but rn I'm loving watching all of them be friends

Zoya really is becoming Luna's scheming prentice

Wasn't Julien crying every 3 seconds last week? Why is she so cheerful now?

Them pretending they're not in love

"You promised you wouldn't come" stop breaking my heart

Why is he screaming

Her hair is pretty now

Jor-Jor lmao

Luna in denial and Monet trying to hold it together

ELEANOR AND CYRUS!!!

Wait, so Blair and Chuck got Cyrus's mother's house before they moved to Paris or did they just decide to hold Derena's wedding there?

Vanya in the background too

DOROTA!!!!!! The truly best character of gg

Calloway is mentioned and suddenly Audrey doesn't know anything about them

Thought the lines Monet couldn't cross would be, idk, but it's literally inviting Ju-lions lol

These two shouldn't be teachers. Actually no teachers in this show should be teachers but whatever.

Luna really is in full denial

Why is Julien talking like she's also twelve

At times like this, I do not like Julien at all

"You weren't even supposed to be here" "Why do you keep saying that?" Aaaaaaaa

"I told you not to call me" I KNOW I SAID I WANTED ANGST BUT STOP

Aki sitting in the chair and looking up at the officer before smiling lmao

Bad timing but I love Jobie

The Max Aki scene was so casual but so good

More Blair mentions

I don't even know who was right in Julien and Zoya's fight, but Julien is annoying me more these past days so I'm going with Zoya

Roy saying he came for his son when he came for Gideon... No

Also I wish Aki wouldn't have let Max hear that

Why can't Max be happy

I like that Kate cares about Julien

The cellphone was a perfect catch... Did they combine a video of Kate throwing it with one of Scott holding it?

Finally Aki getting posts about him! Not truly GG until everyone gets a post

Still don't get why Zoya risked her scholarship

Yeah, Audrey and Zoya are right

Audrey and Aki, I love you, but leave Max alone until you realize how the three of you actually feel

Yeah, Lola is kinda meh

Call them out yes

The three were almost crying though

WHY DELETE HONESTLY

Ep 11~~~

Aaaaaaa Aki and Audrey just stop and apologize

Is Gideon like 2 meters tall or is he always wearing heels? I swear he looks way too much taller than everyone else

"and whichever sister you're dating now"

"They're just not, uh..." THEY'RE JUST NOT MAX

I loved her straight long hair btw

Ouch Julien, that must've hurt

Max talking about Heidi while Obie tries to pretend he's not listening

Did they ever interact before? I like this

Okay I like Shan

Why didn't Jordan just change the password or deactivate?

Wendy is Obie but teachers version

Shan is at the same time a bad and amazing influence

I feel like I know Julien's grandma actress

The fact that they called Jamison over will never not be hilarious

Still don't get why or how Aki and Audrey went from "something's missing" to "we only need each other" to "something's missing" again in like a month

I didn't even realize Z did her nails the first time watching, they are pretty

Also hopefully next season will be fully Zoya and Shan being besties bc I'm absolutely adoring her

Someone said Zoya was in her Jenny Humphrey phase and like yeah she is

The way Heidi had been back for what, two days and realized Max was in pain before any of his friends did is just...

Is this supposed to be two stock photos or young Julien and Audrey?

"The mood is dessert" lmao

Is it bad I can't understand like a single reference they make in this show?

Audrey crying bc JC is leaving is breaking my heart rn

I don't know if Shan is just improvising but if she's not then she's really good at noticing what others feel

And a really good friend

Then why did you go through with posting it Kate?

Why is everyone saying Nick's actor is terrible? There has been worse on this show

I really love how Julien and Zoya smile when they see each other

I hope we get more of Pippa and Bianca too lol

Max stop plz be happy

Again, genuinely thought Pippa and Bianca were going to kiss

"Some thing isn't missing. Is it?" "He's missing" "He's missing. It's him." And now I'm crying, best scene

Why did you give it to him Gideon? Wtf? Why would you say that?

Last time this took five seasons

Why were they so nervous, I don't think most of them ever sent a tip

No Lunet :(

Now EP 12 yay! Season finale!

Brutal! Yes!

Pausing the show to read the tips sent in is totally worth it

Absolutely hate this Max scene

There are 1263 tips of Audrey + Aki? Wow

And 8578 of Max

Is he wearing eye makeup?

"And we didn't get arrested in the process"

Everytime someone says "I gotta go" all I can think about is Serena, lmao

Luna and Monet suggesting Julien seduces Aki and sleeps with him + Audrey and maybe Max what

what was exhibit C..?

I don't really like how Audrey and Aki don't care about Max unless they want him but whatever

Still rooting for throuple, they are cute together

Also when they do care about him it's the best thing in the show

I have said this before but I really love how Aki and Audrey just try to figure it all out always together. She promised this in ep 4 and never even thought about doing it any other way

I still ship Julien and Obie idc idc

It's weird how Luna and Monet just invite the school to a house that's not even theirs

Camille speaks just like Monet

Cannot understand the rule of only walking but ok

Grace is cute

The way Audrey flipped her head to Aki when Max came in lmao her expressions are always gold

Zoya lmao

Cute couple (but um just to confirm how old is he?)

"Lulu" aaaaaaa

Zoya's look when she saw the Roger picture lol but like same

I would also be completely lost

"I only play emotional games"

She didn't get Frida Kahlo? Girl...

"Let us mean girls turn her into a mean girl" I love the way she says mean girl

Davis Calloway is acting weird

Audrey trying to smile when she calls them a couple

This episode has so much Lunet, I love it

Who sent Davis the blackberry? Was it supposed to be Julien returning it or is his lawyer going to be a big plotwist or something

Best scene in the show I don't make the rules they look so good all dancing together

Is it Audrey singing these little bits?

Still don't get how Audrey and Aki thought this idea would work

Don't know how but I'm still surprised by how JC Luna and Monet treat people sometimes, even if it was always like that

Zoya too apparently

"All or nothing"

"If you're in, we're in"

My throuple aaaaaa

The one for all rule scares me tho

Bc tv shows aren't exactly known for their not on-and-off, long lasting relationships

And if they breakup it will be harder for them to get back together

And two of them can't just come back together as a couple

So, no Akiaudrey, Maudrey or Akimax ever

Please don't break them up

Grace's "You think staying it's winning?" was probably the best line of the show, we rarely see the group as the villains, even in the og

"Three, Two, One" Lumax friendship ftw

Zoya is always making points

And Julien acts like she's in a completely different planet

They really need the truth to smack them in their faces to listen to it huh

Why didn't Kate just pay for the cab. Why confront her.

Camille is a biotechnologist and complaining abt schools closing in the pandemic?

Camille was right about GG (even though she sent tips herself so I guess not really)

Camille destroyed Kate and she still think that counts as standing up for herself

Julien really thought that would work?

Also Obie do you love her or not just stick to your choice

"I just told Camille de Haan off" you didn't

Kate literally just shut up

Go Nick

"One for all or none for none"

finally, throuple

The hug aaaaa

"Now remember, one of you gets me at midnight, and the other one gets to go to the station alone"

Julien and Zoya finally making up

"Anyone could have been it, even me" and the way her face lights up finally Monet as queen JC was too nice anyways

Please tell me they are going up against each other. I need the drama.

Cute throuple

Also the boss fight song while Julien does her speech and declares war on gg

Monet queen

Julien really just apologized for being a bad friend only to betray everyone she knows

Mutually assured destruction

Julien's "I know you love me, XOXO" yes

What was Kate's condition

What did JC send her

"I'm Julien fucking Calloway"

"Did you miss me? I know I've missed you"

Does real Gossip Girl start now?

[hippityhoppityyourenowmyproperty]

Reset! Rant (part 3)

Chapter: 16

That familiar feeling of rage returned to him. His fist and teeth clenched and he had the urge to hit something, preferable someone. Bart was the first thing that came to his mind, but he had better control of his Impulses than his brother did. He couldn't let Thawne win.

This is another big hypocrisy moment. He is not better at controlling his impulses than Bart is. Whenever he gets angry, he starts insulting and picking on Bart. He hurt Bart before because he couldn't take Kon making fun of him, and while doing so, he made the mission more dangerous and more prone to failure. He let's his anger out on Bart every time, and he had multiple agressive outburst. He's not as in control as the story leads on.

Bart hopped to his feet and rocked on his heels. "I screw up all the time. Everyone says so. That's why I'm not supposed to do the hero thing without an adult. That's why I wasn't invited to join the Teen Titans."

"Are you kidding me?" Thad's tone was sharp and angry. "What business does anyone have in telling you you how to help people? What business do you have in even listening to them? I don't see you calling yourself Kid Flash and running at Wally's side like and obedient puppy. You're not a side kick."

...................................."In any case, we're more than capable of operating on our own. We don't need some nosy busybodies lording over us and expecting obedience just because of the legacy we inherited."

At the first glance, this looks like Thad trying to emotionally support Bart and make him feel better. At the second look, not so much. Let's untangle what exactly is happening in this conversation. Bart is explaining why he is still supposed to have adult supervision, namely because people think that he can't handle missions on his own and that he'll mess up. Then Thad argues that he's not a side kick and therefore no one should tell him how to do the hero thing. Which...doesn't really makes sense. It was said that the reason why people are convinced that Bart can't be a hero without some guidance is not because he's part of a legacy, it's because they think that because of his impulsiveness and trouble at focusing he will screw them up. They're not expecting obedience because Bart is part of a legacy, they're expecting a willingness of Bart to work with a mentor because he's not experienced enough and will mess up at being a hero, otherwise.

Thad is self-projecting here. If he didn't misunderstand the situation for being about legacy, he wouldn't have tried to make Bart feel better. I'm certain he's just saying this because he's angry about the legacy he is conected to. The only reason Thad rants about Wally is because it reminds him of his situation with his legscy, and not becaus he's mad at Wally for being mean to Bart. Again, Thad is doing this for himself.

Remember when I told you to keep in mind what Thad said about Bart somewhere in Chapter 11? "Bart lacks the capacity of forethought that is requiered in an operation like this"? Also remember how Thad is always insulting Bart's intelligence, criticizes him and says that he won't survive without him? So what about the "In any case, we're more than capable of operating on our own"? This is not Thad suddenly making a turn around and seeing the flaws of his thoughts he had earlier. Thad's always saying what fits his interests best. He changes his opinions on whatever suits him best at the moment. He's such an obvious hypocrit at this point. He's bending his opinions on whatever he needs them to be. This is one of the most in your face instance of Thad gaslighting Bart. Through denial, controdiction and lies relating to his actions and words, he's planting seeds of doubt in Bart. Thad is making Bart question his own perception of memory, perception of reality and his sanity, whether Thad is intentionally gaslighting Bart or not doesn't matter. It's still damaging.

Chapter: 17

Thad thumped his fist against the garage door. "At least I had Craydl before. Now, I'm stuck with you." He glared at Bart again.

Gosh what a horrible fate, Thad. I feel so sorry for you. No really, I can't fathom what an awful nightmare this must be for you! He can never be satisfied, can he? He can count himself lucky that Bart is tolerating his toxic behavior. He is stuck with Thad. Bart is the one who has to put up with his constant belittling and verbal abuse. No one forced Thad to stay at Bart's home, Thad just decided that it now be that way. If it bothers him so much he could've asked to stay with the Garricks. Which would've also made more sense for everyone involved because Jay has superspeed and can look after Thad in case he would try to kill anyone else again.

Also note how Thad is threatening Bart through his gestures.

"Besides, mom said I'm the big brother and that's what big brothers are supposed to do." Rolling his eyes, Thad snorted, "Thanks for the touching moment, but it's not making my situation any better."

This is a form of withholding. It's also condescending demeanor.

Thad clenched his jaw and fists and said nothing in return. He stalked back into the house, punching the doorframe as he passed by.

He threatens Bart yet again.

I'm pressing buttons", Thad snapped. "What does that accomplish? This-" He pointed at the television, "is frivolous. It does nothing!" Bart tilted his head, looking at his brother then the controller. Then, without a word, he punched Thad. Startled, Thad stared at him, and then noticed the surprised expressions on Jay's and Helen's faces. Bart stood up. "Well, aren't ya gonna hit me?" Thad eyed Bart warily and stood. "What is this? Is this a trick?"

"No I'm serious. Hit me." When Thad hesitated, Bart insisted, "Fighting game im real life. Right here." Helen sucked in a breath as she realized what Bart was up to. "Not in the house." Bart nodded and grabbed Thad's arm. "C'mom! I know a place that's still in Manchester." When they ran off, Jay tipped his head to Helen. "I'll keep an eye om them." Once the boys were sure that nobody other than Jay was watching, Bart faced Thad with a combative stance.

Thad struck with a punch and Bart blocked with his forearms. Jay stood aside and watched, ready to intervene in case the fight got out of hand. Every now and then, a particularly solid strike by either boy, he tensed up and stepped forward, but they would continue on as if there was nothing to worry about. As Jay watched, he saw Thad smile for the first time. It was a wicked, predatory grin, full of bloodthirsty pleasure. Bart wasn't smiling. Instead, it was taking everything he had to hold himself against Thad. Sparks of static and stray speed force lightning trailed after them. Then Thad slipped past Bart's defenses and slammed down with an elbow and up with a knee. The next thing Bart knew he was looking up at Jay's concerned face. The elder speedster held out an arm to halt Thad. Thad's yellow eyes gleamed and he was still smilling, spoiling for more. Jay held out his other hand to help Bart to his feet. "You all right, son?"

This whole scene is so wrong, in so many ways, for so many reasons. Yes, you read this right. Bart suggested that Thad beat him up in order to let Thad get rid of his anger. Jay and Helen hear this offer, and say fucking nothing about it. Once again, they're irresponsible and neglectful. Helen shows absolute zero concern for Bart's well being. For crying out loud, the first thing she says after she realizes what Bart's suggesting is: "Not in the house." I repeat, the first thing that comes to her mind after she hears that Bart offers getting beat up by Thad is: "Oh no! My poor house! Everything will be so messed up!" I mean, damn. You have to be a really neglient, bad parent when you're more concerned with the state of your house than with the physical and mental health of your child. Helen and Jay should have been disgusted and put off by this offer. Helen should have said something along the lines of: "If Thad has anger issues, then that is his problem to work through, not yours. It's not your responsibility to keep his emotions under control. You are not his personal punshing bag, and you shouldn't put his well being before your own. No one expects you to make sacrifices like that for him." But nope, she is more afraid of what will happen to her precious kitchen than of the fact that Thad might break every bone that Bart has in his body because he feels like it. They both know what Bart is suggesting, and they don't see anything wrong with it whatsoever. They should have been horrified by this suggestion.

And keep in mind: This all happens after Thad killed the clone and almost killed Max and Bart. Helen knew of both altercations. She knows how brutal and vicious he can get. She knows that Thad is quick to violence, so why isn't she more concerned? Wouldn't she be at least a little scared that Thad might kill Bart because he can't control his brutal urges again? The only resonable explanation I can find is that she doesn't care about Bart. That's why she let's this happen, that's why she allows Thad to emotionally abuse Bart and call him names right in front of her eyes. She never makes Thad apologize for what he does to Bart, not even once. I don't like accusing her of favoritism, but that is what it looks like. Seeing how dispicable Thad's actions and words are is not that hard. Helen should have noticed by now. Jay isn't much better in this. He watched until Thad hit Bart so hard that he fainted and collapsed. I know that I couldn't stand idly by while watching a kid beat up another kid until he lost his conciousness and still feel like a good person.

If you think that we've hit rock bottom yet with this scene, think again.. Jay's and Helen's complete lack of concern makes Bart's actions seem like this was a healthy, acceptable way of helping people deal with their anger. That this is something normal in a sibling relationship. Worse, that offering someone to hurt you so that they can relieve their anger is something that is expected of you. A relationship where one part is expected to take responsibility for the other's negative emotions is a twisted, damaging one. You get what this is saying? "Someone's anger justifies them hurting and beating you up." This is just as bad as "abuse justifies abuse" (Which is also being taught here.) God, those are terrible, atrocious morals to teach to people. What Helen should have done with Thad the moment he moved in with them was taking him to an anger management class and getting him a good therapist, not ignore/encourage Thad's abusive tendencies.

Jay sat down at the table. "He's not as mean as his brother though. That kid...For his own grandfather to make him like that..." Jay shook his head with a frown. "If I ever get a chance to meet that man..." He clenched his fist on the table. "I hope I never do."

"Same here", Helen replied.

Seems like Thad's not the only one who takes a liking to being hypocritical and two-faced. This makes total sense, talk about poor Thad and all the abuse he went trough, but completely ignore the fact that he is abusing and actively inflicting pain on Bart right now. They're furious about what Thawne did to Thad, but when Thad does the same things to Bart it's totally okay and fair. In case you couldn't tell, this is a shit moral. Stop trying to justify abuse by saying that the abuser has been trough a lot and just needs an outlet. Having been abused does not give Thad the right to ruin Bart's life. It does not give him the permission to be a toxic jerk to him. He should be held accountable for his actions. Abuse doesn't justify abuse.

Chapter: 18

"So, you don't know anything on how to properly maintain it." Thad snorted and rolled his eyes. "Wonderful. Do you know where engineering is? Take me there. I'll do what you neglected to do and actually learn about the mechanics of this ship." Bart opted to ignore Thad's nasty tone, brushing it aside as just how Thad talked.

....................................

"If I'll get lonely, I'll come visit." Thad snidely assured. Not wanting to listen to another degrogatory rant, Bart decided to just let Thad find the room on his own.

This is critizising and judging and a put down, delivered with a very very condescending tone and manner. Do me a favor and take a shot everytime you read the sentences "Thad snorted" or Thad rolled his eyes." You'll be drunk in no time, trust me. Bart has been exposed to Thad's emotional abuse so long that at this point he is willing to accept Thad's verbal abuse as normal.

Chapter: 19

Thad:"They probably got distracted by with something shiny."

Thanks again Thad, for enforcing hurtful insults and exaggerated stereotypes about people with ADHD.

Thad:"Moron! Can't you come up with something that simple?"

Again with the name calling and the put down linked to Bart's ADHD.

"He's a nuisance" grumbled Thad.

"Not that I've had much first hand experience, but that's what siblings generally are, from what I've heard."

"So wanting to strangle Bart is normal?" Cissi laughed. "Everyone's wanted to strangle Bart at one point or another. That's just him."

Oh now it all makes sense! It's Bart's own fault for being abused because he's so annoying! Remember folks, if you've been abused, it's your own fault. If you hadn't been so burdensome, they wouldn't have treated you this way. They can't be responsible for their actions, it has to be you! How can we expect them to control their impulses and get a handle on their anger? That really would be too much to ask of them. The victim is to blame for being abused, that's obviously the logical conclusion here, right? God I hate this fic so much.

This whole conversation serves one purpose: Normalizing and rationalizing Thad's repugnant behavior towards Bart. Look! This is how healthy sibling relationships work! This is how they're supposed to be! Except not really.

This conservation is actually very cleverly done, because it only shows Thad's oppinion while stimuntaneously making it seem like Cissi agrees with his values about relationships when she's really not. They're coming from two completely different points of views, but that is concealed here.

Starting with the "He's a nuisance."

"That's what siblings generally are."

I get her statement, there will be many times when one can get annoyed with their sibling and not find themselves in an abusive relationship. Every sibling pair fights and argues, that's in the nature of things. It only gets problematic when that's literally the only thing you do. When the only thing you are to each other is an annoyance and someone to get mad at. When every encounter with them ends in hurtful words and accusations. Indicating that your brother/sister is sometimes a nuisance in a playful, teasing way is fairly common in healthy sibling relationships. "Those 5 minutes before you were born? Haha, those were the best 5 minutes of my life." Something like this is normal. The problem here? Thad doesn't mean what he says in a sarcastic or playful way. He's completely serious with this. This is all he sees in Bart. An annoying idiot who always stands in his way. There's no sympathy and no compassion for Bart. Only unjustified resentment and hatred. See, in a positive brother or sister relationship the individuels really love each other. Despite the jokes they sometimes make about not wanting the other around, they see more in their sibling than an annoyance. Thad doesn't, and that's what Cissi misunderstands. Thad is dead serious about his feelings towards Bart in this conversation. All he sees in Bart is a nuisance he has to tolerate. He has nothing but contempt for him. He doesn't try to see more in him than that. Thad has no right to complain about Bart. He has been nothing but nice to him. Despite all the shit he put Bart through, despite Bart still tolerating and trying to support Thad in every way he could, Thad somehow still has the audacity, the arrogance to make himself out to be the victim in this situation. Thad is an abusive jerk to him, if anyone has the right to vent, it's Bart.

Moving on to the "So wanting to strangle him is normal?" argument. Feeling a desire to hurt your sibling 24/7 just for existing isn't normal. Cissi means what she say in a more playful, harmless way. None of Bart's friends would go through with harming Bart because he was annoying them. There's a big difference between wanting to do something, and actually doing something. Moreover, Cissi doesn't get that Thad would like to hurt Bart all the time and not only when he was being annoying. Thad wants to hurt Bart even when he is nice to him. Thad means it in a "If Bart looks im my direction one more time I might strangle him and I really don't care if I accidently suffocate him and he dies." Cissi doesn't. Thad is aggressive and violent to him for absolute no reason. The emotions Thad feels towards Bart aren't normal, not in the least. Stop trying to justify his abusive behavior.

And, I think this goes without saying, hurting someone solely because they're annoying you isn't okay, either.