#also tim being naturally curvy & having to force himself to undereat in order to meet batman’s physical fitness standards

[burybirds]

tim has to take time off from the vigilante lifestyle after constant self-deprivation almost kills him.

he leaves behind the restrictive dieting, the training regimens, the sleeping schedule that spares him maybe an hour of REM. and for the first time in years, the brain fog lifts. he can think clearly, his mood is stable, and he isn’t fighting to stay conscious every time he stands up.

but with it comes this horrible guilt. he isn’t denying himself anymore. when he’s hungry, he eats. (and he doesn’t just shovel some instant ramen into his mouth and call it a day. he eats a full dinner.) when he’s tired, he sleeps. (and not in fifteen minute increments.) when he’s training, he doesn’t push himself past his bodily limits just to feel something.

tim finds that his body is softening for it. he isn’t made up of sharp edges anymore. his dark circles have faded and his eyes aren’t sunken. he can’t shake the self-loathing when he looks in the mirror. it’s careless, it’s undisciplined, it’s selfish. he wears oversized hoodies; he takes more remote missions; he avoids the suit that hugs all of his new curves.

until jason has him in his hands – those big hands that take hold of his round hips. he presses kisses to his soft inner thighs and whispers his name against the sensitive skin there. he wraps an arm around his waist when lining up their hips. his eyes follow tim whenever he pulls on his work-out shorts or when they’re sparring. (tim gets the upper hand in a losing match more than once because of this.)

and when jason whispers the words “you’re so soft” into his ear, hands roaming his body, a trace of awe in his voice – tim no longer feels guilty. not in the slightest.