#also tho do keep in mind that if ur struggling with a boss you can always Leave and come back later

[gaylotusthatexists]

Every single boss and mini boss in Hollow Knight makes me irrationally angry actually. Why are they so frustrating.

yeah :) they do be like that actually. unfortunately i think that’s the point asdhslsy you really aren’t meant to be able to beat them first go, just gotta keep trying over and over again and eventually you’ll get the hang of it. i believe in you

[untoldstar]

Your writing is addictiveeeee. Can u do ur ocs reaction to being cheated on by reader? Im so down bad for jesse 😫 hes just a lil guy who wants to be loved! Sue me!

The yanderes reaction to you cheating on them

Thank you smmm🫶 but fr I’m down bad for Jesse as well even tho he’s a lil psycho🫠

I can make a part two for the rest of the oc’s if anyone’s interested I just usually go for these oc’s because they’re the most popular and seem like a common favorite.

warnings: obsessive behavior, stalking, yandere themes, murder, stealing appearance and changing appearance (not reader), nsfw content, imprisonment, keeping reader locked up.

find out more about these characters here.

Ava (yandere best friend)

She’d go off the rails. She’ll cry and sob her heart out. she won’t talk to anyone except for you. Her phone is filled with missed calls and worried messages from her family and friends. Everyone gets so worried they start showing up at her apartment door but she’s too busy crying into her pillow waiting for your call or to hear your sweet voice outside her door.

She’d take you back in a heartbeat. Just please please don’t leave her.

Even if you already moved on and decided to be with your partner she’s still stuck on you and obsessing over how to get you back.

She’d go over every detail of the physical traits of the bitch you cheated on her with and tries to match it. What did you even see in them? they’re nothing compared to her!

Doesn’t matter. She’ll do whatever it takes. She’ll go as far as dying her hair, getting new piercings if they had any, changing her makeup, changing her entire wardrobe.

You’re absolutely mortified when she shows up at your doorstep looking like your partners lost twin.

Theo (yandere boss)

All his past paranoia will come right up to the surface. He’s always wanted to lock you up so no one would look at you so. No one would breathe your air. He didn’t want anyone to have the pleasure of even looking at you.

And you’ve finally given him a reason.

He has you cooped up in his mansion with no way of getting out. You’re always watched and monitored. Most of the week he’s working from home to be around you. Clothing you, feeding you, bathing you. He won’t let you out of your sight for a single second.

And every time you ask about your partner he’d smile softly and tell you to not worry about them. They don’t mean anything to you anymore.

Because they’re not here anymore.

Warner (rich yandere)

He can never be angry with you. No never~

But he will give you the punishment you deserve.

And he has certain methods for punishment like having you tied up to his bed and leaving you all alone in a dark lonely room with a vibrator strapped to your cunt.

You’re not truly alone of course, he’s always watching you with the cameras he set up.

Howw else is he supposed to stop the vibrator right when you’re about to cum?

Other than making you struggle for his forgiveness he also has to keep you busy while he gets rid of your little problem. He’s hurt people for you before and certainly has killed them but he’s never gotten to this level of cold blooded torture.

He spills their blood while in a trance like state, he’s absolutely drenched in their blood and the scene is gruesome enough to have his body guards who have seen many similar things while working with him not withstand this particular scene.

But you won’t know any of it, you don’t have to. They’re a distant memory by the time he’s back home in brand new clothes and looking as sharp as ever. Some of that rage is still simmering under that cool exterior though so he’s not quite finished with you yet.

Yandere bully

You’re not even in a relationship the guy tortures you on a daily basis! but he saw you get all blushy and smiling while another guy was teasing you in the hallway.

You never blush when he messes you what the fuck is that about?

That’s as good as cheating in his delusional mind.

He starts clinging to you everyday even more than before. Scowling and glaring at any guy who passes you by like a guard dog. You’re too focused on his asshole behavior to notice that you haven’t even seen the guy since.

You’ve heard students around you murmuring about a student who’s been in such a bad accident that he can’t even walk anymore. So many broken bones, swollen flesh, he might have even gotten a brain injury. Poor thing can’t even come to school anymore.

You never made the dots…

bonus! Yandere tentacle monster

Nom.

Let’s not forget this guy is an actual monster the second that guy gets on top of you on the bed he has already devoured him.

He walks toward you with an icy expression while wiping the blood off his mouth not paying any mind to your mortified expressions.

“You could’ve of at least brought a proper meal pet. That tasted absolutely terrible. I’d much rather eat you instead~”

the person reader cheated with knowing they’re absolutely fucked no matter who the oc is:

[shanesbluechicken]

Hey hey! I absolutely love ur bringing shane to the mines headcanons, amd i was wondering if i could request headcanons about shane with a male reader? Or maybe gn if u prefer. The reader is easily mistaken as a should be protected person (hes all smiley and soft and nice) but will get defensive and protective for people he cares about and does a complete 180 in mood

Shane with an s/o who's actually protective

You can see I struggled with the title :'D

Also ty, I'm glad you liked that one! And I don't have a preference when it comes to gender. I usually keep it neutral unless someone requests smth specifically🤗

TW: heavy language

Gender: male

Oh, yes, that's totally his type. Shane loves a sweet person who can also kick ass.

Of course he finds you annoying at first with your positive attitude and the sunshine vibes that you radiate. He sometimes vents about it to Gus or Marnie and even to Sam at work. They honestly don't get why it pisses him off, but it sounds like he's gushing about you with a bit of swearing here and there. Okay, a lot of swearing.

They gave up asking why a long time ago tho.

Shane: I just don't get it! How can he ALWAYS be in a good mood?

He doesn't understand why you're so kind to everyone as well, giving out gifts to every single town member. You don't even know them!

Shane secretly admires your kindness, but you will never catch him admitting it.

One day he sees Morris basically camping infront of Pierre's shop and handing out JojaMart coupons. He doesn't particularly like that guy, but he also doesn't see a reason to do anything about it so he just passes by. Or tries to at least.

Every morning Shane goes to work, the two of you see each other infront of the small shop since you're always checking out the board there. It usually goes the same. You greet him with your stupid handsome smile and he ignores you.

This time from the corner of his eyes, Shane spots you rushing towards Morris with a look on your face that he has never seen before. It was an almost terrifying mix of emotions and he stops in his tracks. Too curious of what's going on with you.

Farmer: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!

Shane freezes and so does his boss as your roaring voice hits their ears. He never even knew you could sound like that. He didn't even know that you could swear to be honest.

You rip out the coupons of the man's hand and point with the finger of your free hand towards his face, just a few inches away from his nose.

Farmer: If I see you here advertising that shitty excuse of a store one more fucking time, then so help me Yoba-

In that moment Pierre leaves his shop and cuts you off mid sentence. It doesn't take long for you to calm down and put back on that sweet look on your face, but the rage from before still lingers in your eyes.

Quickly Shane hurries off to his shift and can't focus on anything for the rest of the day.

Later on in the evening, when you enter the saloon he takes the seat next to you without a word leaving his mouth. Except-

Shane: A beer for this guy here, Gus. It's on me.

You've beyond impressed him with your stunt earlier today and he makes a mental note to never anger you. Even tho he found it oddly attractive.

Masterlist

[leviathiane]

I just started hollow knight, any tips??? it looks delightful but I'm struggling, just a bit :')

I can indeed Fresh Baby Bug Gamer!!! welcome to The Underground!!

Firstly, don't Absently pick up geo. Farm for it. be Greedy. Get all you can, because the stuff you buy at the surface shops will be immensely helpful (ie the quill, maps, some cheap charms, the LANTERN,) But ALSO, do not HOARD geo. get it and then spend it ASAP, because early players often end up losing all of it when they die, especially if they die in an area hard to get back to. i always spent my geo when i hit around 500-1000 until I was confident I could carry it. Immediate buys should always be the mapping equipment, and Stag Stations. Unlock them. It’s worth it. It really is. Even later on when I had all route memorized I always unlocked them. it makes things much faster and more convenient for travel. same with elevators!

Secondly, you'll need that cash to get nail upgrades, which you should do asap. the stronger your nail, the easier fighting will be. The confidence in ur own strength will also be a nice get!!!

In terms of combat against bosses, go ahead and straight up sacrifice your first few gos. Spend that time not trying to even hit them, but learning their attack patterns and practicing dodging. On a similar note, practice all the directional swings-- I had a Lot of trouble with downswing pogos when I first started. You'll be using those constantly, both in platforming and battle, so the more familiar your hands are with the movement the less youll panic in the moment. Hell, watch people fight the boss before fighting yourself, if the anxiety gets to you too much.

Keep aware of little details in the environment! Theres bits and treasures hidden everywhere, even in the starting areas. I played the game to death and still found a new cranny with a soul totem in the transition area between the crossroads and fungal wastes.

Also, don't worry so much about spells at first. It took me a while to balance out using both of them at once, and how to intersperse movement and battles evenly with them-- its perfectly fine to lean more on the nail until you get the hang of it.

That's most of the immediate tips I can think of that would have been nice to know immediately... but keep in mind that I am not what people would call A Seasoned Gamer even tho i did indeed play the game (only havent done pantheon of the sage and up, bc i Suck) and some of these tips, like the money saving, are optional for certain routes. The glory of Hollow knight is that there isn't that much of a true set path. Just keep on walking, and you'll always end up somewhere new. Even if you don't have the necessary progression tools, there's still loopholes to explore.

Have fun!!!

[berrymeter]

idk anything about the grace period for deltarune u can just keep this ask in the attic until that’s over.. anyway.. i really liked chap 2 i played it in one sitting 😭 the rpg combat is enjoyable enough and just the right amount more complex than the undertale combat is, although not very difficult. very touching power of friendship moments minus that fucking bird man. some of the dialogue felt quite fandom tropey and surface-level, and queen’s lines (love her tho) were hit or miss for me. i think the biggest frustration i have with it is all the useless random encounter characters clogging up your world 😞😞 there’s only so many wacky one-liners toby can give them and i am not invested enough to care! also some of those designs are uglie!! there are better ways to make a world feel real and lived in. same thing happened with undertale.

BUT it was a great time! i liked the juxtaposition between the ultimately harmless antics and charming banter with the gang and queen, and the more sinister plot going on in the background. most obviously in the ending. toriel and susie making a pie while kris RIPS OUT THEIR SOUL….spoiler warning.. did u see the theory that the soul aka red heart is you the player operating kris the vessel? i’m definitely not a theorist but i like seeing all the loose plot ends i’m having a good time. i love noelleeeeee 💞💞💞💞and i liked susie a lot more this chapter. when ralsei taught her a healing spell 😖😖 i still don’t really care about ralsei though 😓

special shoutout to the spinning teacups ☕️☕️☕️ and special NOT-shoutout to the mice games with the rotating blocks i never understood how to do that.

it was a very feel-good game. it made me feel good. standards for video game passed. what did u think tho!! i mean i assume u liked it but for the same reasons? different ones? feel free to respond with an excruciatingly long essay of ur own <3 we are back to the tt anon blocks of text i restrained myself for a bit but we are back -tt

hiii tt anon <3 back at it again with the asks that i am looking forward to answering. if i post this a little before the 48 hours i will be forgiven bc i will use the deltarune spoilers tag and also the long post tag LMAOO anyway anyway oh btw never refrain urself from sending blocks of text if my followers are mad even though i tag them long post that's ON THEM. everything u say is worth listening to & same for everything i say so that's my final stance on this 😌

i also played it in one sitting it was so GOOD. i don't care that it was 2 am here when it was released i wasss ecstatic and the game was so fucking GOOD tonby the fox delivered!! it was so so worth the wait! the music was so much better than in chapter 1 imo, like... my castle town? the cyber fields theme? the queen's fight? spamton g spamton??? rouxls' "fight"?? BANGERS. i only see bangers. the new gameplay mechanics were also very fun!! i for one kinda struggled with the mice puzzles but not nearly as much as that one section with the traffic jams where you have to go down and back up or whatever. what the hell was that? i'm surprised i actually got past it. i loved the parts in cyber field though where you had to move on beat with the music that was sooo fun!! more of that! i prefer the fighting system in undertale ngl but it's mostly bc the undertale bosses are... just so good. the one boss who rivalises for now to me is queen, although rouxls is also very fun.

as for the story itself... i liked it :) susie & noelle are fucking ADORABLE. i think they deserve to be happy forever like not even together just individually as characters they're the fucking best. susie's grown so much that's my girl... wough... ralsei i do like but... i don't trust him :D i don't think he's evil but he knows too much and tells us too little until he can't keep it for himself and i don't like that. like bro you're gonna get us in trouble stop. but ALSO some ppl speculate that himself is being misled and that the fountains wouldn't bring the roaring, which is an interesting theory. (also i miss lancer being more relevant)

uhh kris is... well... kris... :)... yeah i did hear about that theory i'm in a discord server where ppl have been going on and on about theories since the game dropped LMAOO we're all insane. um. my personal theory is that there's another knight, or that kris is at least also influenced by an "evil force" or whatever, and we're the good force influencing them bc otherwise they're just a normal albeit mischievous kid. and the stretch part is that uhhh there's two knight pieces on a chessboard, ik this isn't about chess at all but king of spades does tell you at the end of chapter 2 that you'll meet a more powerful foe = the queen, coincidentally in chess the queen is stronger than the king. hmmmmmmmmmmm. lmao i don't think my parallel here is right but it's fun to think about anyway

did you see the superboss? i didn't fight him myself but he's so fun. also @ everyone who said he's gonna be a tumblr sexyman i hate that you're right shut that shit down HJKSNFKJSDHG. also did you see the secret fucked up pipis route? it's horrible. genuinely... i watched a streamer play it and 😳 uh. well i didn't even hate berdly before anyway yeah he's annoying but like he's a snot-beaked kid i'm not gonna wish him... whatever happens in this route. legit scarring. and poor noelle... pffbbgtbg. hate this so much. but i think it was done so bad and horrible on purpose, with how specific your gameplay has to be for you to be able to complete it tonby really was like "you wanna be an asshole? undertale wasn't enough? fine. work for it. and also suffer" nskjshf. i'm never doing it <3

lastly FUCKING QUEEN!!!!!!! QUEEN MY LOVE!!!!! BEST CHARACTER. i love her sosososo much it's unreal. and i didn't mind any character designs much, i'm not too complicated in that regard shfkjsdfh i love the tasques and tasque manager though :) also the... idk their names... the butler dudes? they're so cute. swatch's design is neat

so those are my thoughts <3 can't wait to hear more from u!!!

[svpernatvralis]

FENISHA LAVELLE is a 105 year old cis female vampire. people say they have a striking resemblance to camila mendes. they work as a dancer at delirium nightclub and are part of the conclave ( vampire capo ). people say they’re really ambitious, dauntless, & vehement, but unfortunately also calculating, guileful, & impetuous. why are they in invictus? well, they crave power.

henlo it me again! i hope u guys aren’t sick of me yet bc here’s my final ( for now, at least ) bb! say hello to my boss-ass bish gal fen! she’s sassy, classy and a lil badassy. she’s a rather feisty, fiery, ball of rage and anger who cba with ur bullshit tbh n she’ll tell u this too if u piss her off enough! she’s lowkey cutthroat and always out for number one, aka: herself. but, i mean, she does have some redeeming qualities and her hair is bomb af so that makes up for it all really, doesn’t it? basically that meme: ‘ she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll punch you in the face. ’

fundamentals.

name. fenisha isolde lavelle.

age. 105, but appears around 23.

d.o.b. january 27th.

gender. cisgender female.

pronouns. she / her.

orientation. bisexual.

affiliation. the conclave.

rank. vampire capo.

job. dancer at delirium nightclub.

connections.

adoptive mother. monica lavelle. †

adoptive father. edward lavelle. †

adoptive siblings. lola, erik, & alec lavelle. †

significant other. n/a.

child/ren. n/a.

pet/s. n/a.

proficiencies.

spoken languages. english, & spanish.

negative traits. capricious, ornery, impulsive, guileful, & caustic.

positive traits. ardent, whimsical, intrepid, graceful, & poised.

strengths. great analyst, abstract thinker, imaginative, original, enthusiastic, open-minded, objective, honest, & straightforward.

weaknesses. very private, withdrawn, insensitive, absent-minded, condescending, loathes rules and guidelines, & second guesses herself.

appearance.

eye colour. brown.

hair colour. dark brown.

height. five feet, two inches.

weight. 54 kg.

miscellaneous.

zodiac. aquarius.

element. water.

house. ravenclaw.

meyers briggs type. intp-t.

alignment. chaotic neutral.

enneagram. type three.

temperament. choleric.

intelligence type. intra-personal.

the basics.

FENISHA ISOLDE LAVELLE     —     one hundred and five, vampire, dancer at delirium nightclub, + vampire capo for the conclave !

possible triggers   :   child abandonment, foster system, adoption, cancer, death, huntington’s disease, substance abuse, alcohol, violence, gore, blood, murder.

tl;dr.     ok so for this gal, let's all give a big, warm welcome to sadness ( no, i was in no way at all inspired by salem from sabrina for that line ) bc boy oh boy, her life has been constant grief and pain, tbh. strap in for the bumpy ride, i'll give u cookies for compensation. OK SO, fenisha was abandoned as a baby, never did—and still doesn't—know her biological parents and she doesn't want to either, tbh. she bounced around from foster home to foster home until she was adopted by the lavelle family when she was eight. it was great! they were lovely people who made her feel at home. she loved them, they loved her back. in time, the older she grew, she began to resent the fact that her real parents weren't in the picture; believing she was always gonna be unloved and unwanted even tho the lavelle family did everything they could to make her feel the opposite. anywho, she fell in with the wrong crowd until she was sent off to an all-girls boarding school where she learned how to mellow herself a tad. but, here comes sadness again! at sixteen, her youngest adoptive sister passed away from cancer which made fenisha withdraw before, finally, acting out again. pressing the self-destruct button is this gal's speciality. did the pain stop? NOPE bc a year later her adoptive father passed away from huntington's disease. this time, she tried to bury her sadness, repress it and move on. for the most part, it worked. but still, she found herself gravitating towards her vices—things and people she knew were no good for her. drink, drugs, people, you name it. quickly, she realised that these things were no longer any good at keeping her dark side at bay: she needed something more, something deeper. thus, she began going down the road of petty crimes—stealing cars, smashing windows, theft, setting fires both metaphorically and literally. due to this lifestyle, she wound up entangled with some real shady folk who did ... even shadier things. most specifically, she started dating a real jackass who was violent and truthfully, a horrible person, really. fast forward a year or so and things took a swift nosedive when her lowlife boyfriend’s hands were round her throat and not in the kinky way. while she’d clawed at him and tried to fight him off, she struggled against his weight and strength until, eventually, all she could recall was waking up with a searing headache: the lights and noises just too much to handle. it wasn’t until she’d lost control to overwhelming bloodlust that she realised the truth: her boyfriend had turned her into a vampire. naturally, at first, she was horrified and it took her a hella long time to adjust but once she had, she kind of relished in her new life. once she got a grip on her nature, she joined the conclave and climbed the ranks where she now rests as a capo. all in all, she kind of digs who she is and what she is: after everything she's been through, she loves herself. it's been a long and winding road but fenisha finally believes that she's settled in her life now even if she is an overachiever who invests way more time in her job than she should. oop. tho she still refuses to let people in, her abandonment issues terrifying her to the degree that she feels that anybody she'd ever let into her life would eventually leave her in the end. *insert sad face emoji here.*

random extras.

nicknames: fen, nish, nisha ... spawn of satan   >:-) 

she loves art in every form: paintings, sculptures, music, dance, people, etc. she loves the freedom that expressing herself through these mediums gives her.

she’s ... experimental. she’s experimented with just about everything: hairstyles, clothing, drink, drugs, people ...

can be hella calculating and vindictive so do not cross her.

quite power hungry tbh.

she does have a shot at redemption but she doesn’t want it lmao. 

she’s already been to hell so why bother trying to right her wrongs?

and boy, are her wrongs a century long list shkjsh.

high key is not above killing people who don’t do things her way.

doesn’t believe she’s capable of loving anyone.

she’s lowkey a perfectionist to the point of being ruthless, also cutthroat and egotistical.

if ya ain’t of use to her, then what the heck is ur purpose???

she can be ... aggressive sometimes and most definitely has anger issues.

dry sense of humour one million percent.she can drink any man under the table.

smol but fierce.

absolutely adores animals. 

much prefers them to humans.

she’s quite adventurous and loves to feel the adrenaline in her body.

a bit meddlesome and a troublemaker.

always up for a good time.

outspoken and quick-witted with a sharp tongue.

is a tad theatrical.

really, she does what she wants to, when she wants to, without seeking the approval of others.

[fvlminare]

✗✗✗   you see [ camille rivas ] around lately? yeah i heard that the [ cis female ] is up to no good. [ she / her ] has been here for [ three years ] now but they’re still pretty [ calculating ] which is fine because they’re also [ ardent ] so it balances out. the [ twenty-six ] year old [ dancer at mayhem ] actually looks like a lot like [ sofia carson ], don’t you think? it’s best to watch out, though, because it’s been said that they’re really into [ the rush of cocaine in her veins & a vice grip on her throat ]. 

henlo it me again! i hope u guys aren’t sick of me yet bc here’s my other bb! say hello to my boss-ass bish gal camile! she’s sassy, classy and a lil badassy. she’s a rather feisty, fiery, ball of rage and anger who cba with ur bullshit tbh n she’ll tell u this too if u piss her off enough! she’s lowkey cutthroat and always out for number one, aka: herself. but, i mean, she does have some redeeming qualities and her hair is bomb af so that makes up for it all really, doesn’t it? basically that meme: ‘ she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll punch you in the face. ’ anywho, you know the drill, slap a lil luv on this n i’ll come pester u for all the good stuff : - ) 

fundamentals.

CAMILLE ALARA RIVAS     —     twenty-six, dancer at mayhem,   +   an honest-to-god vixen   /   hellcat   /   lil demoness ! 

aesthetics   ➤   dresses of black lace and red velvet, the scent of chanel perfume lingering in the air as she floats past, blood-red fingertips coiled around the pistol grip of a gun, red-bottomed heels clicking against marble floors, rose gold highlighter shimmering along the height of prominent cheekbones, satin dresses draped over a svelte frame that is shrouded in an air of mystery and intrigue, baby pink roses in a vase on the window sill, deft fingers stained with charcoal and oil paint, the melodic chime of piano keys, delicate digits adorned with moonstone gem rings, a coy smile spread across full crimson lips, long raven locks blowing in the cool breeze of a summer’s evening, battered books with dog-eared pages, a sense of freedom and carelessness when dancing for fun, & a sense of allurement and captivation when dancing for work.

nicknames. cam, cami, mil, millie, spawn of satan >:~)

date of birth. april tenth.

gender. cis female.

pronouns. she + her.

birthplace. manhattan, new york.

orientation. pansexual + demiromantic.

education. bachelor of dance degree obtained from nyu tisch school of the arts.

spoken languages. can speak fluent english, spanish, & latin.

negative traits. capricious, ornery, impulsive, guileful, caustic, brusque, obstinate, destructive, deceptive, & promiscuous.

positive traits. ardent, whimsical, intrepid, graceful, poised, elegant, headstrong, observant, independent, & confident.

strengths. optimistic, energetic, creative, practical, spontaneous, rational, knows how to prioritise, great in a crisis, & relaxed.

weaknesses. stubborn, insensitive, private, reserved, easily bored, dislikes commitment, & has a rather risky behaviour.

talents. ballet, knife throwing, hand-to-hand combat, horse riding, figure skating, piano, violin, painting, singing, & dancing.

physiology. hazel eyes. dark brown hair. five feet, four inches tall. of a petite, slender stature with subtle curves and long hair. has a long silvery scar on her back. her skin is clean of any tattoos. has both earlobes pierced. requires glasses but wears contacts most days. is right-handed.

psychology. aries zodiac. fire element. ravenclaw house. istp-a. true neutral. type seven enneagram. choleric temperament. intra-personal intelligence type. addicted to alcohol, tobacco, and cannabis. suffers from addiction and abandonment issues. her vices are lust, greed and wrath. her virtues are ... ( again ) honestly, probably just diligence tbh.

background.

possible triggers   :   child abandonment, abandonment issues, foster homes, alcohol, drugs, violence, gore, blood, murder, & death.

a synopsis.   ok so for this gal, let’s all give a big, warm welcome to sadness ( no, i was in no way at all inspired by salem from sabrina for that line ) bc boy oh boy, her life has been constant grief and pain, tbh. strap in for the bumpy ride, i’ll give u cookies for compensation. OK SO, camille was abandoned as a baby, never did—and still doesn't—know her biological parents and she doesn’t want to either, tbh. she bounced around from foster home to foster home, never sticking in one place for too long. given her turbulent upbringing, she was somewhat of a difficult child. too boisterous, too unruly, too stubborn, too inquisitive. too much of everything but never enough of anything. never enough for anybody to want her. it didn’t take the girl too long to figure out that it was just her alone, against the big bad world. from the age that she was old enough to realise it, camille knew that she had to fend for herself—that she could never truly rely on a single soul but herself. the hollowness inside her chest never quite satiated, leaving her empty and only too well aware of the lack of her real parental figures. as a young adolescent, this started to crawl under her skin and mess with her mind. it rendered her void of affection and unable to form genuine bonds with others—filling her with deep-rooted resentment that festered beneath the surface of the indifferent demeanour she plastered over herself every day. she always felt starved of love: as if some integral part of her heart was missing, leaving a gaping void that nobody could ever fill. anywho, she fell in with the wrong crowd which did little to aid her foster families hostility toward her. truthfully, most of her experiences in various homes were ... not pleasant. she’d encountered abusive ‘parents,’ horrible ‘siblings,’ and even worse schooling days. pressing the self-destruct button is this gal’s speciality thus she found herself gravitating towards her vices: things and people she knew were no good for her. drink, drugs, people, you name it. quickly, she realised that these things were no longer any good at keeping her dark side at bay: she needed something more, something deeper. thus, she began going down the road of petty crimes—stealing cars, smashing windows, theft, setting fires both metaphorically and literally. due to this lifestyle, she wound up entangled with some real shady folk who did … even shadier things. most specifically, she started dating a real jackass who was violent and truthfully, a horrible person, really. stupidly, she decided to run off into the metaphorical sunset with him * insert eye roll emoji here. * so, fast forward a year or so and things took a swift nosedive when her lowlife boyfriend’s hands were round her throat and not in the kinky way. while she’d clawed at him and tried to fight him off, she struggled against his weight and strength until, eventually, she lifted the first makeshift weapon she felt: a rusted pair of scissors. [ TRIGGER FOR VIOLENCE, GORE, BLOOD, MURDER, DEATH ] and, in a blind state of panic, she jammed them right into his jugular vein, his blood squirting out and decorating her face in crimson splatters. he’d stumbled backwards, clutched onto his neck, blood spurting from the webs between his fingers. naturally, camille was shook about this but somehow managed to flee the scene with less guilt rattling her soul than she’d imagined. [ TRIGGER OVER ] in her mind, it was an act of self defence. it wasn’t too long after the incident that she found herself in a rather perilous situation that resulted in her sudden realisation that she needed to get her damn life on track. therefore, she done the responsible adult thing and got herself a decent education. somehow, she managed to get into university where her life started to shape into a positive one—the kind she’d always dreamed of. once she graduated, camille decided that she wanted to see the world. following a couple of years travelling, she wound up in santa ysabel where she quickly fell into the employment of mayhem. admittedly, this was a far cry from the future she’d envisioned when she was just a sweet, innocent lil child. still, all in all, she kind of digs who she is and what she is: after everything she’s been through, she loves herself. it’s been a long and winding road but camille finally believes that she’s settled in her life now. tho she still refuses to let people in, her abandonment issues terrifying her to the degree that she feels that anybody she’d ever let into her life would eventually leave her in the end. * insert sad face emoji here. *

random extras.

her tell? playing with her hair: when she’s lying, nervous, flirting—you name it!

can drink any man under the table. 

she loves art in every form: paintings, sculptures, music, dance, people, etc. she loves the freedom that expressing herself through these mediums gives her.

she’s ... experimental. she’s experimented with just about everything: hairstyles, clothing, drink, drugs, people ...

can be hella calculating and vindictive so do not cross her.

quite power-hungry tbh.

she does have a shot at redemption but she doesn’t want it lmao. she’s already been to hell so why bother trying to right her wrongs?

and boy, are her wrongs a century-long list shkjsh.

high key is not above killing people who don’t do things her way.

doesn’t believe she’s capable of loving anyone.

she’s lowkey a perfectionist to the point of being ruthless, also cutthroat and egotistical.

if ya ain’t of use to her, then what the heck is ur purpose???

she’s v ambitious, v morally ambiguous, v self-serving and v self-involved.

she can be ... aggressive sometimes and most definitely has anger issues.

dry sense of humour one million per cent.

her signature look is her blood-red lips.

extremely skilled with knives and blades. and always carries one on her person at all times.

her most prized possession is her brushed chrome zippo lighter. it has her initials engraved into it and where she got it from, or who is something she’ll never tell.

always says she needs to quit smoking but never does and probably never will either.

did someone say ... resting bitch face???

tho when she smiles it’s like sunshine uwu

high key will sleep with anyone.

first place is the ONLY acceptable place, ok??? 

one of those people who just excels at everything she tries her hand at.

absolutely adores animals. much prefers them to humans.

she’s quite adventurous and loves to feel the adrenaline in her blood.

doesn’t take herself or her life too seriously.

always up for a good time and is usually the life of the party.

outspoken and quick-witted with a sharp tongue.

much too sassy and sarcastic for her own good.

really, she does what she wants to, when she wants to, without seeking the approval of others.

truthfully? she’s a bit of a spitfire if you really irk her. so, watch out.

you can find a pinterest board for her by clicking anywhere here.

[alo-piss-trancy]

What would be some Grell omorashi headcanons?

Quick Note: I tend to use she/her for Gr/ell and hc her as a tra/ns wo/man, but I also understand between canon sources, non-canon char interviews, author intentions, dif cultural views, The time period the canon takes place in vs. The year the media was published vs. Our current time now changing views/terms, it's ALL a giant clustertruck question mark blob. So feel free to hc Gre/ll differently, be that a very feminine ga/y man or b/i or nonb/inary or whatever, I genuinely don't mind how anyone hcs characters and fan content does not affect my enjoyment of canon in any way. I'm never gonna pick fights and claim somebody's playing with their imaginary Barbie wrong lmao, kindergarteners know better than that

Now to the actual ask:

ANON I LOVE YOU!!! Gr/ell is one of my fav chars EVER but I never get to talk about her hhhhh ❤❤❤

I've had 8 dang years to think about this so enjoy a varied selection 😼 I'm sorry in advance bc half of these are very lemony oops

General:

* Reapers have stronger bladders than humans (in terms of capacity/general strength), but they're still much weaker than a demon's (goes for all bodily functions tbh. Demons don't really have any, the only reason they would need to go is if they chose to partake in occasional food/drink, and could easily hold it for weeks or even months at a time). A reaper can probably hang in there with a full bladder for a day or two if very determined, less if they've had any strong diuretics/alcohol (I imagine the humans' stuff is p weak tho and barely gets them buzzed).

* Gr/ell's bladder is stronger than a newbie like Ro/nald's, but weaker than someone like W/ill's. Mostly bc she's frequently drinking unhealthy stuff and has no problem up and ditching to pee as soon as she's tired of waiting.

* Not bladdershy in the slightest, and not dysp/horic either. (While she wants a womb/too look more womanly, she also seems fairly content with her body and even takes pride in it in several scenes.) The only time I could see her getting nervous/locking up is if she had a really bad day or felt extra self-conscious, and it wouldn't be a very severe condition.

* She doesn't like going in weird/gross places because she is a Beautiful Lady With Standards, thank you very much. If she has absolutely no choice she'll suck it up and pee in an alley like the commoner humans, but she will complain about it for the next few years at every opportunity.

* That being said she's also a huge hypocrite, and if the situation was reversed would immediately snap at someone like W/ill or Ro/nald to just go in the alley already instead of failing to hide their desperation on the job. You bunch of damn babies, grow a pair.

* If she needs to be serious/doesn't want ppl to know, she can hide desperation fairly well (a little clumsy/flushed and sweaty, but that could be mistaken as her normal goofy behavior), masking how bad it really is until she's a minute from wetting herself.

* If she doesn't care and wants to complain though, she's obvious af. Whines and gripes the whole time, full-blown potty dance to garner sympathy, legs crossed and bouncing, everything. By the time she gets to the suspiciously e/rotic moans ppl usually hurry to find her a bathroom/yell at her to leave lol

* There have definitely been times when Gre/ll used going to the bathroom as an excuse to ditch work for a LONG time or took many frequent smaller breaks to do her nails/read magazines/flirt with Seb, etc. Needless to say, this backfires terribly the one time she actually does have to go because W/illiam definitely isn't putting up with her bs no matter how much she begs or squirms. He's even madder at her when he realizes he'll have to clean the floor. If she wasn't so mad/embarrassed herself, she'd have taken joy in his karma and gladly told him to suck her d/ick.

* That's def not the first time W/ill's seen her desperate or piss herself. As young stud reapers in training I guarantee G/rell got shitfaced at company parties on more than one occasion (or just went out drinking the night before work on a weekday lol). Frequently showed up for field work having to pee every other hour and driving him nuts c':

* She and Ma/dame Red definitely fooled around a couple of times (she's the only woman Gr/ell's ever been attracted to) . Maybe Gr/ell already had the kink and brought it up, or maybe Red saw Gr/ell squirming and asked (insisted) she let her watch until she lost control, but either way things got dirty real quick lmao. Red slapped a demon's ass in the same room as her nephew, she's dom AF (and inappropriate lmao). G/rell's a giant masochist/sadist combo. Do the math 👀👌💯

* I personally love the concept of her ending up desperate after inviting herself along and crashing one of C/iel and Seb/astian's missions and just being miserable the whole time trying to hide it. Because she def can't embarrass herself in front of B/assy, but even worse she will NOT prove she has to take a potty break before some human kid. Naturally, C/iel being the complete brat and posessive bitch he is, immediately picks up on her predicament and torments her the whole time/makes a fool of her without letting Seb know the real issue. She can't lay a finger on him because she'd be Dead and she can't whine for B/assy to get him to stop bc that would mean explaining her problem so it just keeps escalating in comedic fashion. (This isn't even an omo hc really sorry lol, I just love any plot with those two bickering like petty babies as rivals for Seb's attention, even better if Ci/el consistently pulls one over on her and is the more mature one. You killed my aunt and then tried to steal my butler, Get Rekt Bitch )

* In any aus where she isn't hooking up with Red or trying to get Seb, I ship her hard with Un/dertaker (they're my otp actually don't judge me). In those he's actually the one with a massive piss kink and she's weirded tf out at first, but I mean if ur bf already eats dog biscuits and sleeps in a coffin u can probs learn to live with it. She indulges him periodically and he spoils her rotten afterwards. (I actually had several fic ideas for those two back in the day. One day maybe I'll finally get around to it).

* No matter what she draws a hard line at drinking it. No thank you. Golden showers are a maybe but they better have some gr8 shampoo to scrub her luxurious hair with afterwards.

* Wetting herself in that too small choir outfit from s1 that basically made short shorts and a crop top? P l e a s e

Dom G/rell:

* Has totally tried to pin Seb down/trap him somewhere and use his increasing desperation as leverage to get what she wants since he's too proper to wet himself. It probably doesn't work bc he's crafty and also could just throw her across the room, but u know. Points for trying.

* When someone lets her dom them willingly she's an absolutely sadistic fiend. W/ill completely torment them until they're begging and broken, and they have to pleasure her first before she'll show any mercy and allow them to let go. That said, she's got an almost sweet tone to anything she says and is very affectionate the whole time. It's a dichotomy that leaves any subs an absolute wreck. Her absolute fav part is watching ppl squirm and start to leak, it's cute.

* She also likes doing the whole fake sympathy play, where everything nice she says makes it 20x worse for the sub. Poor babies ❤

* Making out so they can't say anything no matter how desperate they are, just writhing underneath her with their whimpers muffled in her mouth? Perfection.

* Slowly pressing her boot into someone's abdomen is her signature move.

Sub Gr/ell:

* Loves the whole humiliation aspect and being all squirmy and nervous in front of (S/EBASTIAN) people, struggling to hide her problems and act casual but knowing her face is flushed red.

* When it gets really bad she gets super whiny and submissive, whimpering and moaning and really playing up the vulnerable aspect. Look how pitiful she is, it would be oh so easy for them to have their way with her~ (and then she bats her eyelashes and they just glare ajdkgk stop fucking around G/rell this is a Serious Scene we talked about this before we started)

* Sometimes she does public holds or gets desperate before a mission/visit just so she can see how long she can get away with it before she has to cave/people get suspicious. It's k/inky, exh/ibitionist, and oh so delicious~

* Lives for (S/EBASTIAN) the dom to get mad and disappointed in her, verbally berating her for not being more composed and embarrassing them in public, manhandling her as she's dragged somewhere more secluded to get ahold of herself, being teased and poked and prodded all while they're sneering in her ear. She wants to feel like the dirtiest, most ashamed and nervous person alive for such a simple need, knowing it's going to come out eventually no matter how hard she tries to be Good, having to beg and plead with teary eyes only to be denied access to the bathroom and told to suck it up and hold it.

* She really liked her original disguise/persona from the Ma/dame Red Days for this exact reason. Could be as shy and stuttery as possible and really play it up, got bossed around/teased by everyone, it was great. Totally got desperate once or twice so 'he' could beg Seb/astian to use the manor bathroom and get pitied. If he 'tripped' and just so happened to lose control and start crying, well, that couldn't be helped...

[koolkvat-blog]

       hello  loves  ,   what’s  up  !   i’m  super  excited  to  be  here  &  to  finally  play  my  precious girl  ,   jade aka kool kat   .   i’m  LOLA  ,   use  she / her prounouns  ,   i am NINETEEN  ,   &   i  am  currently  in  the  gmt + 1 timezone  which  means  yes  ,  my  ass should’ve  been  awake  for  intro  posting  but  i  don’t  know  what  time  management  is  and  ended  up  swamped  w/  work  ,  so  !   everything   you  need  to  know  about  about  miss  kat  is  under  the  cut  ,   &  i’m  rlly  thrilled  to  be  apart  of  such  a  wonderful  rp  with  such  gorgeous  muses  .  corniness over  ––   if  you’re  looking  to  plot  sumn  out  ,   just  hit  that   ♥︎    &   i’ll  make  my  way  on  over  to  ur  dms  ,  or  feel  free  to  add  me  up   on  discord  which  i’ll  give  in im’s  if  anybody’s  interested  !   ♡♡♡         tw  :   family issues  ,  body image issues  &  drug mention  ( not  explicit ) . 

001 . SYNOPSIS  . FULL     NAME  .      jade        kikuchi . NICKNAMES  .      kool kat    . AGE  .      twenty - one . DATE     OF     BIRTH  .      twenty  -  seventh     of     september   ,     1993      /     libra . PLACE     OF     BIRTH  .      harajuku ,   tokyo ,     japan .         GENDER  .       cisgender     female . SEXUALITY  .     (  closeted  )  pansexual  . NATIONALITY  .      japanese  ,  now  american  too  after  successfully  gaining  citizenship  . ETHNICITY  .      asian  . OCCUPATION  .       fashion designer at katz designz      ,     former  fashion  design  and  journalist  student  back  in  her  original  timeline  . PLAYLIST  .      here  !  (  +  )     charismatic , enthusiastic , warm , energetic , adventurous , compassionate , animated . (  -  )     deceptive ,  independent ,  emotional , territorial , ambitious , impulsive , temperamental , insecure , sarcastic .  

002 . AESTHETIC  .      wheatgrass  smoothies , 90′s  anime  with  subtitles  , chanel  no. 5, speeding  on  a  desert  road  with  the  windows  down ,  painting  your  toenails  on  the  dashboard ,  neon  prints ,  cat  lazing  on  a  balcony  in  the  sun , black  lace ,  japanese  horror  films  ,  sour  cocktails  with  sugar  around  the  rim , half - smoked  cigarettes ,  stacks  of  fashion  magazines , long  hair  hastily  dyed  different  colours in  a  motel  bathroom ,  thrift  stores   .

003. INFORMATION  .

tl;dr : a flighty, inattentive adventurer: a follower of whims; personable and sociable but lacks the skills to maintain relationships because she’s entirely (and perhaps too) career focused, checks her horoscope daily and entirely relies on the stars when concerning relationships, epitome of a britney spears / gwen stefani stan back in the 2000′s, still owns a (bedazzled) flip phone, collector of vintage fashion (chanel, elle, juicy couture etc.) a subscriber to the Leonardo Da Vinci sleeping method; catch her at 2 am making soufflés or buying plane tickets to shiwei so she can really experience the culture: will tell you she loves you ten minutes after first introduction because she’s high: kind of unintentionally insensitive to those she doesn’t know and closed off but in like a cool, lovable way. 

•    heads up im running on like 5 hrs sleep so sry when this inevitably derails ! ok sweet let’s get into this . 

•    so as aforementioned this is jade kukichi, aka, kool kat. she was dubbed that by her friends due to her unique fashion style and sense of dress, and it’s stuck. lbr nobody other than her friends can use that term so if you do, she’s just going to stare at u for a quick sec before saying ‘it’s jade’. 

•    born in harajuku, tokyo to a cardiothoracic surgeon of a father and a politician of a mother, jade grew up traveling the world and becoming flighty af, never thinking she was going to make long - term friends and kinda being okay with that. 

•    her family has never stayed in one place for very long, though her aging parents eventually settled into a permanent residence in the us around the time she turned sixteen, not soon enough for jade to break the habit of wandering, but thankfully quick enough for her to meet the bratz girls who were just as adventurous and fun - loving as she. she's spent much of her teen life jumping from place to place wherever her interests are that moment, collecting people along the way, but to find friends was the only thing she was missing. jade has a brilliant mind, but she lacks patience and follow through. she needs guidance or she'll jump from idea to idea, job to job, whim to whim.

•    ngl, jade pretty much hated her home life. her parents were an overbearing presence in her life, her mother wanting jade to be a proper lady who also went into a profession like theirs (entirely serious and stifling when it came to creativity, doctor, politician, lawyer etc.) while jade herself wanted to check out the latest trends and go to the mall w her friends – so she turned all of her focus and energy into getting good grades in everything she wanted to do in the hopes that she could be the most successful fashion designer, then leaving town forever. 

•    like she spent 7 yrs in high school graduating w honours but she barely knew what was happening in 9/10 of her classes and sometimes she just slept through classes and then wing her exams which she miraculously did well at. it was just not a good idea to send jade to a public school at 11 after being in boarding school for the rest of her life and then never really enforce any rules :~\ she has trouble with that kind of thing.. as in making logical choices instead of saying "YEAH lets go watch american psycho and smoke weed!" skipping chemistry to do just that 

•    she loves fun and values doing what makes her happy over most things. it's hard to pin her down and she spends most of her life chasing after ideas that don't really follow any sort of conscious order, bc she’s really got that ‘i’ve got dreams and i’m gonna do everything in my power to achieve them’ personality. 

•    according to bratz canon she’s worked as literally everything ? she’s one of those insufferable people who r just. good everything ig and that’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth. jade’s been a photographer, a song - writer and bass player in a rock band (shout out to bratz rock angelz the best movie w the best soundtrack ever), a student studying fashion design, a fashion columnist, a quickly fired nanny, and many other things in between. 

•    so when she appears in toonsville she’s kind of out of it that she’s not doing something w her skills and sets up her own business which she loves ? being her own boss suits her fine (for now) because she’s got a Real Job and she's actually trying rly hard so she can fulfill her dreams !! like suck it mom nd dad haha !!!

•    jade has a lot of weird feelings TM about her body and her looks and struggles a lot with her self confidence :~( she had a shit time at school with boys saying she was too thin and she compensated by acting like she didn't like anyone at all for a while and now she thinks she isn't good enough for anyone when rly she is a cinnamon bun too good for this world too pure 

•    best friend ever she is so good at being a friend if u text her at 3am to go out or cry on her shoulder shes ready to go at 3:15 even if she was sleeping w lots of snacks and treats and love!!! she is sooo extroverted around those she’s comfortable w, she gains so much energy from being around people and she loves being nice and being around ppl she likes 

•    she becomes the mom of groups pretty easily (hence why she’s the leader of the bratz) bc she bottles up most of her own problems to help ppl with theirs!! which is toxic yea but she puts people first always so !! plz help her poor repressed soul!! rip kool kat.. 

•    still super into the stuff of her time so like.. she loves the x files and bad reality tv shows (i want to be a hilton) and reads gossip magazines on the reg because she enjoys that stuff! also very into girl groups.. ginger spice / posh spice is an eternal mood.  

•    anyway yes sweet adult-child of 21 (she is in denial about that tho like she doesn't want to be childish) who is v nice v kind v loyal v baked a lot of time, v passionate v silly. idk what i'm doin hope u like it < 3

004. WANTED CONNECTIONS . 

friends / best friends / ride or dies . jade genuinely loves people, loves talking to strangers and getting into intense conversations with people she’s only just met, learning other people’s way of life and bettering herself for getting. she is, however, incredibly blunt and has never once minced words to keep from hurting someone’s feelings or to ease them into a situation. she’d much rather have a one-time conversation with a stranger than make long lasting relationships. she has three very close friends –  to the point of co - dependence –  and honestly, she’d rather spend all of her time doing things she loves such as her hobbies, sticking her nose into the latest vogue, or searching for cute collars and treats for her cat mica w them instead of making new friends. she's also FUN and she'd be happy to go on crazy road trips or buy out a movie theater for a day or anything that she thinks will her buds happy. she's traveled all over, so she’s v well read and cultured. she loves people but she hates complication and won't deal with any sort of emotional labor. she wants to live in the moment and expects everyone in her life to do so as well. just be chill, y'all. 

frenemies / enemies /  rivals  . please be her enemy, she needs people to antagonize shdhshd. she grew up pretty much affluent so she’s pretty spoiled even if she doesn’t want to admit it, and that rebellious side of her hasn’t died down yet. despite the fact that she is wealthy and in good community standing, she has a hard time letting go of childish grudges. in general she’s got a lot of suppressed feelings and ready to fight everyone who hurts her friends – like an irritated cat – so, honestly, come at her ? she is sometimes a little fickle and flighty and a unintentionally stuck up when it comes to art / fashion and she has definitely said the wrong thing at the wrong time and pissed the wrong people off, she can’t stand anyone underestimating her or thinking she’s dumb bc she’s interested in fashion. like gtfo !

ex’s , fwb’s , possible love interests .  jade is fairly fluid romantically and is the type of person who hates labels but also just wants to be cherished and called cute pet names lowkey. she loves a lot and gives a lot to her relationships, but typically doesn't want to commit to anything important. she’s gone from one disastrous relationship to another, ending up with a boyfriend who constantly ridiculed her image that was essentially the catalyst for her cutting off romantic ties, quite a recent wound before she found herself on the island actually. worst thing is tht she’s convinced herself that she’s been the problem in these relationships –  that she turns good people bad or that she is too much for people to deal with, she’s not sure what the issue is and she doesn’t really want to know. so…. fuck everything amirite ? anyway, she’s a strong independent woman who don’t need no (wo)man. 

etc . pls give me people jade can give a makeover to, people she shares an apartment w on the island, people who think fashion is girly and vapid.. creatives who love what she’s doing, anything tbh << 3

[holydepths-blog]

✩ watergate :3

this took too fucking long

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? i feel like emma cos she’s more angry dramatic and he’s more emo dramatic but i was also gonna say he probably should to accomodate for his heightWho threatens to leave but never actually does? neither of them, they’ve both left one another repeatedly. Who actually keeps their word and leaves? both of them, see above. Who trashes the house? i don’t think either of them … i can’t see him ever doing it but if he did she would kick his ass things need to be NEAT Do either of them get physical? basement gate tease ! but no … it’s soft ….  that’s been erased from my memory … they’re emo not violent  How often do they argue/disagree? all the time but about #dumb shit nowadays … used to be more serious but now? you like chocolate ice cream better? … idiot  Who is the first to apologise? if they had a penny for every time mickey has apologised to her both of them could quit their low salary jobs and move to france 

Sex:

Who is on top? bold of u to assume they aren’t both switches Who is on the bottom? ^Who has the strangest desires? Any kinks? mind ur fucking business … snuggling is a kink Who’s dominant in bed? i don’t think dominant has ever been in either of their vocabulary where’s the john mulaney gif abt soup in the lap … regaurdless … probably he has to be she’s babyIs head ever in the equation? she suck the dick for free and mickey is a good boy, he knows how to go down on a womf If so, who is better at performing it? i don’t know how sex works is it easier to eat thrussy or suck a dick … they both try the only thing that matters is that once he said she was better at sex than [ redacted ] Ever had sex in public? private public … like not dressing room public but like, romantic lookout in a car public … hope no coppers come 2 shine their flashlight Who moans the most? idk if this is my sexism or my lesbian but women should, legally, be required to moan more than menWho leaves the most marks? he better swallow his masculinity and get used to concealer but i feel like that wld not be an issue for him, king ! he can’t borrow hers though it won’t match Who screams the loudest? WHO YELLSWho is the more experienced of the two? mickey. fucking duh. Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? they make love :3Rough or soft? soft … unlike his penis How long do they usually last? haha 8 seconds joe goldberg tease? idk how long sex even lasts in general …. solidly average is my guess Is protection used? he better wrap it before he taps it my girl cannot afford plan b . so yesDoes it ever get boring? not …. boring but ….. consistent. when emma gets too drunk she asks odette for sex advice bc she doesn’t want to bore ickey Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? nowhere is strange if ur brave enough.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? …. yes ….If so, how many children do your muses want/have? she wants 27 children actually but literally anything from 1-30 will suffice …. they need a lot of help on his inevitable farm Who is the favorite parent? mickey is the fun parent so u already know who it is Who is the authoritative parent? REMEMBER the clip i sent u from the marky mark movie … she’s always the bad guy until he gets #fedup and he has to remind her that she’s not doing it this time AJSDKF Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? honeslty both of them unless emma hoards all the candy … selfish  Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? both of them they make fucking SIGNS …. its a little league game u dont need to paint the football stripes on ur faceWho goes to parent teacher interviews? they both go but mickey is better at them because emma always goes into teacher mode and tries to talk about Who changes the diapers? mickey does he’s a NURSE he is not grossed out , she is . baby poop is rank Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? where tf is that gifset from prison break when u need it … she does but only because she hates diapers and it’s only fair to pop a tiddie out every night for ur kid in exchangeWho spends the most time with the children? ummmm FAMILY FUN NIGHT x Who packs their lunch boxes?Who gives their children ‘the talk’? mickey he is obligated as a medical professional she don’t teach sex ed …. Who cleans up after the kids? emma but only because she’s a neat freak Who worries the most? both of them try to pretend they’re VERY cool and nonchalant and this is actually very easy until one of them cracks (probably her) and they both worry together constantly . solidarity babey ! ….. moreso her tho u cannot change my mind Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? auntie odette change my mind we said FUCK watergate lives , emdette rise 

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? both of them …. constntly …. disgusting Who is the little spoon? [ jake peralta vc ] everyone likes to be the little spoon, it makes them feel safe ! LOOK HERE buddy …. he is and i dont take questions , even when he was 10 ft Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? can he fucking keep his hands AWF …. thats coming from me not emma she appreciates it Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? both of them …. its CONSTANT … hand on the shoulder , touching someone’s back as u walk past …. SOFT ! n then the one gif  u sent from superstore where amy slaps jonah’s ass that’s emma How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?  they actually fall asleep cuddling and wake up complaining abt falling asleep in a uncomfortable position… shut up abt ur back pain ur not 80 Who gives the most kisses? KISS kisses …. he. but know … she’s always kissing him on the cheek What is their favourite non-sexual activity? this is gonna sound g*y as hell but stay with me here ………. just being in the same place , even when they’re doing diff stuff . TOGETHERNESS …. vomit time Where is their favourite place to cuddle? the couch , i retract my statement about them not being 80 they actually fall asleep watching tv Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? casually ? she … to actually initiate eye emoji ? he How often do they get time to themselves? all the time , they know 2 other people 

Sleeping:

Who snores? he does im hcing this for ur own character If both do, who snores the loudest? she doesn’t SNORE she’s a lady Do they share a bed or sleep separately? they’ve been in 200 different stages of relationship ……. OTHER than depending on that , she sleeps better w him there :3If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? they start far apart cos she’s a blanket hog but she always ends up next 2 him Who talks in their sleep? she mumbles sometimes ….. its nothing coherent What do they wear to bed? she owns 47 different stupid size xxxxxxxl shirts that were 2 bucks  from walmart and wears only that . i bet mickey owns a bathrobe, bourgeois pig … Are either of your muses insomniacs? idk she reads a chapter of whatever dumb shit she’s reading and has tea or wine and conks out ….. idk his business Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? idk abt taking them and ik its not the point but shes anal retentive abt keeping medicine in the medicine cabinet so THERE BETTER NOT BE Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? AS I SAID … they start out on opposite sides of the beg and end up more tangled than tangled (20whatever) Who wakes up with bed hair? his hair is floofy ,,,, Who wakes up first? i feel like that depends on his shifts …. she wakes up at the same damn time every week day …. weekends though she sleeps in for 10 yrs so him Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? emma tries and he has to leave bed anyway because the fire alarm goes off  What is their favourite sleeping position? she prefers it when she has all the blankets Who hogs the sheets? she does Do they set an alarm each night? they have JOBS does she look like pippa to u Can a television be found in their bedroom? yes so she can cry over dumb rom coms over somewhere other than the couch …… he’s invested in them , change my mind Who has nightmares? i already know ur about to say he does so im calling the cops on u end of story Who has ridiculous dreams? all of emma’s dreams are indistinguishable from bad acid trips Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? she sleeps in the fetal position he seems like a sprawler …..Who makes the bed? emma …. its gotta be CLEAN and if he ever says “why make it we’re just gonna sleep there again” its on SIGHT What time is bed time? whenever she passes out , always before midnight , considering they’re 72Any routines/rituals before bed? i bet they brush their teeth at the same time to see who can do it faster like they’re five year olds …. or that gifset from new girl where he’s like “ u read my walking dead fanfic ? ”Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? emma takes three cups of coffee to be able to be her CHIPPER self …. 

Work:

Who is the busiest? she has like a 6 hour work day so he for sure Who rakes in the highest income? i just googled nurses versus preschool teachers and he makes twice what she does …. laughs nervously …. glad she’s going back 2 school but elementary teachers STILL make less …. mr talbot got COIN ! Are any of your muses unemployed? no , freeloading is ILLEGAL Who takes the most sick days? i feel like the two worst jobs to go into sick are a literal hospital with immunocompromised people and a preschool with toddlers who dont wash their hands …. equal maybe Who is more likely to turn up late to work? despite her original beef with odette in the apocalypse verse emma is NEVER late to work Who sucks up to their boss? she cooks dinner , a nice LASAGNA for whoever to heat up and mickey has to break it to her that making whoever her superior is eat what tastes like glue will in fact , damage their relationship What are their jobs? hes a nursey  boy …. shes a teacher Who stresses the most? about life in general? her. about work? probably him. he’s dealing with LIVES she’s got the alphabet Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? they better they aren’t getting paid enough to hate it Are your muses financially stable? they’re not rich but they’re not dying and that’s what matters 

Home:

Who does the washing? emma because it relaxes her Who takes out the trash? he better , she does not like to  LOOK at things once they are thrown out … its smelly Who does the ironing? neither of them have ironed anything in their lives Who does the cooking? HE HAS TO IDC if he isn’t fuckign gordon ramsay she’ll kill them Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? emma Who is messier? if he leaves a single sock on the floor he is automatically messier than her Who leaves the toilet roll empty? that’s satanic neither of them Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? he does …. its just not REALISTIC that she does Who forgets to flush the toilet? that’s gross ……hopefully neither ….. DISGOSTEING.mp4Who is the prankster around the house? anything STUPID is hers and hers alone but i feel like he’d do something relatively innocent and it would go HORRIBLY wrong like , hey emma come get y’all juice ….Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? despite being organized in every other aspect of her life emma has never kept track of keys in her life its a disease Who mows the lawn? he does , he shld do it shirtless so she can objectify him Who answers the telephone? mickey, she truly stares at it hoping it’ll go away Who does the vacuuming? emmaWho does the groceries? she would make HORRIBLE decisions ,,, he shld make the list and she shld get it Who takes the longest to shower? no sexism but she’s a girl Who spends the most time in the bathroom? see above 

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? yES like … they can afford groceries , make rent , but for literally every american except jeff bezos money is a problem in some area . this isn’t a hc just a capitalist hellscape How many cars do they own? two …. neither of them are very nice cars Do they own their home or do they rent? rent unless/until he gets the farm of his dreams Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? countryside thats where FARMS are … but like rn , coast cos there’s the ocean in town Do they live in the city or in the country? see above bbgDo they enjoy their surroundings? the goats of the future and the noisy neighbors of the current and past eras both leave something to be desired , but in general yes What’s their song? not to go all modern au but remember when stereo hearts was on their 2011 mixtape AJSKDF …. issa bop and its arguably the most cutesy singable on the playlist What do they do when they’re away from each other? bitch idk ? exist as human beings ?Where did they first meet? idk she probably met him for coffee or sum before moving in together to make sure he wasn’t a serial killer How did they first meet? they were roommates … oh my god they were roommates …. she prolly put an ad in the paper very lucky she did not get murdered x Who spends the most money when out shopping? i feel like neither of them are big spenders but her sticker and colored pen budget is larger than it should be Who’s more likely to flash their assets? i thought this was talking about tits for a second but im assuming mone ? they keep it humble Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? they both do , bullying one another is a bonding experience Any mental issues? more than you know my guy Who’s terrified of bugs? if she sees a SPIDER she floors it , but she releases most other bugs …. he better kill anything w 8 legs tho Who kills the spiders around the house? mickey , as described above wow im psychic Their favourite place? they can make any place work together … gay but true , just like me Who pays the bills? she has a special binder just for taxes Do they have any fears for their future? all the fears actually Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? she cannot cook but she has 10/10 ordered takeout , put it on plates and been like :the happy version of the pensive emoji yk the one: i cooked it while the reciept is still on the counter Who uses up all of the hot water? thats very selfish she wld never but she also showers first bc she doesn’t trust him not to ….. Who’s the tallest? they , in american , are the SAME HEIGHT ,,, fuck centimeters Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?Who wanders around in their underwear? clothes are oppressive let them both do it coward Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? it probably turns into a competition until they’re both singing at the top of their lungs …. omg watergate you’re gonna burst a vocal cord oh my god they can’t hear us they have airpods in What do they tease each other about? literally everything …. one of them BREAHTES wrong and the other is like “ ah didnt realise the asthma express was in town “ Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? mickey literally dresses like the fresh prince so u already answered that for me Do they have mutual friends? can the real jack detler please stand up Who crushed first? she ……. did not immediately fall in love with him let me tell u , it took her some solid MONTHS to realise she was in deep for his bitch ass Any alcohol or substance related problems? i wld hope not , #stubie twWho is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? them , together , for getting kicked out of the bar for singing Who swears the most? neither ? 

[sunnybimbo]

get to know the author

got tagged by mfin @grassepi like 10 days ago to do this!!!!!! /dab/

long ass post under the cut

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

i explain this so often man its a trip. ‘jam’ came from simlish in the sims 3 because of that one voice line that’s like ‘jambabedo?’. i had changed my name to that on skype but when i was VCing with @namerine she could only see ‘jam’ and it kinda just stuck. speaking of: the ‘dingus’ part also came from her so literally this name is all because of her and i love her *fingerguns*

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

by FAR my most popular fic is my collection of sickfics: In Sickness and Health

the only thing that it got beat in was comments from Close to the Heart, but that’s mostly just because it had so many mfin chapters

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

b a b y y o s h i

i literally cant remember how i found this picture or why i chose it as my icon but its my Brand now. yoshi jamthedingus is me

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

i literally have so many. there’s @space-peachx, @bears-again, @narwhalsarefalling, @ravenssama, and @miishiiwrites (for some reason it wasnt letting me tag ur main asldhasd) plus a SHIT ton of anon commentors who i love just as dearly!!! i have a lot more but these are the most common commenters and i love them sm i could literally die.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

there are like three fics like that and ofc im gonna list them all

hands down the fic i’ve reread the MOST in the shortest period of time is Sunset in Reverse by @demenior (who i cannot tag for some reason but i hope they know that i love their fic dearly)

there’s this i n c r e d i b l e sickfic by @bosstoaster that i just adore called Drown Out Your Mind that just breaks my heart all types of ways

and there’s this OTHER fic that also fucks me up called strength of the small by @nowweareunstoppable in which pidge is bad ass and also gets fucked up and i literally rec it to all my friends i love it so much

(also a special shoutout to been @velkynkarma‘s Whisper in the Dark. whenever i have the need for a good creepin’ out i LOVE to revisit this one because like... just the description of the Final Boss (tm) alone is enough to give me the willies)

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

oof

i have 449 bookmarks from like atleast 10 different fandoms, and about 411 fics i’m subscribed to, give or take a couple because Math. most of them are completed though, but i don’t go through and take them off because i’m a lazy hoe 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

well i just looked up my ao3 and it says i have the most in ‘Alternate Universe - Video Game World’ asjdhsaldhsja aka my mmo au. but technically i think the au i write the most is Modern bc i’m but a simple farmer with a limited mindscape

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

i have 22 user subscriptions vs 199 work subscriptions + 383 bookmarks in total. nice nice nice

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

probably something with a more serious tone (compared to the fluffy wuffy fics i write) like, for example, fatphobia, suicide, and literally just conflict in general. i always feel like im trivializing all of it no matter how hard i try so i just... Give Up because i dont want the backlash ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

i really want to get better at writing conflicts, as stated above lajhdlsadhls. but also i want to be better at planning out stories because i usually give up near the 3/4ths point of literally every multi-chaptered thing i’ve written

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

definitely rarepairs. voltron is like the biggest fandom i’ve ever been in and my biggest ships are all hunk ships, and all of those are rarepairs OTL

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

35!

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

ignoring the fics i’ve completed and posted on ao3, i have about 52. including the above equals 87!!! m a t h

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i try to write them down but if i write down the thingy i really want to focus on in the fic then i won’t want to write it anymore because it’s out of my head. OTL its a complicated process.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

literally never in my life. 

16. How did you discover AO3?

definitely tumblr. i was in the dragon age fandom and there was this fic called The Little Kadan which had fem!inquisitor/iron bull + a baby so like i was all over that asap. i’m too shy to tag the author but u can find them on tumblr at sickly-writes ,,,,,,

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

nah not at all. i’m pretty Niche

(i.e. if you love shunk and/or heith + cuddling, i’m your gal. but anything else is pretty rare OTL)

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

not in the SLIGHTEST. i call them all babes in my head bc i love them tho

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

i don’t know this @fenri personally but i love their writing so much. i admire their style a WHOLE TON and i think i may have sort of modeled my own after theirs? 

like i’m just thinking about it now but it’s definitely after i reread their fic (*ahem ahem* Like Crystal Guts) for about the fifth time that i started my whole ‘prose-y’ writing, which is very very recent aldjhsal

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

be confident in ur writing! if someone says they don’t like it, your work just isnt for them. just because one single person doesn’t like it doesn’t mean its bad!

r e r e a d what you wrote! i use fromtexttospeech.com to catch like... sentence structure/grammatical errors when my eyes are too tired and i find it helps a lot!

if you find a story you like, try figuring out w h y you like it so much. characterization? the way they describe things? because they use sentence structure you haven’t seen before? and then use that new knowledge to try to make your own writing style your favorite *fingerguns* 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i only started plotting fics since last november, which was when i participated in my first nanowrimo. i don’t plot for every single story, but if i’m lost or i want to expand a little, i slap down a bunch of ideas in an empty google doc and go from there! 

generally by then i’ve already written atleast a little bit, though.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

i can’t even remember what it says exactly now since i deleted the fic after, but someone said my characterization was bad in a super old inuyasha fic. little like... 12 year old me was so sad ;w; 

i don’t think i’ve ever gotten a bad comment after that, though? which is NICE

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

DEFINITELY any action scene. i can’t make them long or drawn out or else i’ll just be struggling and sweating and generally craving death. i think i just need practice but o o o o f

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

i have a few hot n spicy prompts i need to finish that i probably won’t get to until next year salhdjsa

plus a few christmas presents! 

and also my pirate au, Wander, which only has maybe 2 chapters left before its complete!

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

*sweats loudly*

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

not in the slightest. generally, if i’m in a writing sprint or something, i’ll try to get over a 1000 for whatever it is, but that’s for the total and not for the session. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

definitely! even though i’m still shy, im a lot more open to constructive criticism (if it doesn’t come after my soul ;w;). I’m also getting better at being more descriptive, which is something i’ve always wanted! 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i have two. don’t make me choose

the first is technically cheating because it’s part of a series, and the series is my favorite BUT I DIGRESS. The Witch and the Mage (which is... one of my less imaginative names) is an MMO AU in which shiro and hunk are in love and also i have a vague plot outlined somewhere in my drive that’s pretty wild if i do say so myself. i may never write it but its there and its my favorite and i love the imagery i used in it.

the SECOND is a heith cuddle fic, because that’s basically my brand as a writer. it’s called home and i wrote it when i was very tired and couldn’t get to sleep. i may have been craving human contact? who knows in this economy. even though i see a number of things i wish i could fix about it, it’s just very self-indulgent in more than one way and its very dear to my heart. 

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

most of the fics i wrote earlier on are pretty bad imo, but i think the ones i hate the most are part of my You Are Beautiful series. it’s grossly out of character (mostly in keith’s case) but it was the first thing i’d written in about four years and i was so proud of it. so it has to stay up for posterity, tbh.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

i really hope to still be writing by then. maybe with my own personal book in its planning stages atleast???  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) gotta be optimistic!!

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

dialogue? also describing rooms. i love just... randomly popping out something that describes the placement of a couch in relation to a door. 

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

i always always always get distracted when i’m trying to write. if i’m in the zone, someone in my family is definitely gonna try to get my attention. it’s sort of become habit for me to just interrupt myself first so that i won’t lose whatever train of thought i had LMAO

33. Why do you write?

i like the way my words sound when i string them together in the right (write... *badum ts*) way. it makes me Feel Good (tm). 

also i love giving characters (that mean something to me) attention, because it’s like i’m giving MYSELF attention. a two-for-one!

Tagging:

@sleepyhunk, @narwhalsarefalling, @space-peachx, @sammythemattressthief, @bears-again, @kurosakiami01, @maternalcube, @ace-pidge, @darlingmuses

+  if anyone i tagged earlier would like to, i would literally be honored if you would do this! but no pressure, ever <3

[thirstyfortom]

OMG your bartender scenario jssjhijjskfkfk amazing! I wish u had more views tho. Can I request a HC with RFA (and maybe Saeran and V) reacting to MC being a former porn star or having a sex tape uploaded on a porn site, i dunno if u like writing this kind of stuff. Congrats again, ur wrtiting is really good! :)

Tnx tnx!It’s okay, I’m kinda new on that stuff, so i didn’t really expect to have a lot of followers, maybe it happens one day,but… who knows?

I’m goingwith MC ex- pornstar, I can only think that a sextape would be a revenge porn’scase and that can be very triggering, so yeah… let’s think MC agreed on beingfilmed and got paid for it.

Yoosung

You told him as soon as you startedbeing a serious couple

You were younger, your parents neverreally supported you going to college, so you basically lived on your own andhad to pay for it, you were desperate and you did it

You weren’t really proud, but youdidn’t regret it either

He tried to remain calm, but he hadso many questions

“Would you do it again?” “Or are you stilldoing it?” “Did you have to do something you didn’t want to?” “Do you stillcontact your co-workers?”

All the answers were “no”

He was a broke college studenthimself, so he could relate

And he felt really bad that, unlikehim, you didn’t have supportive parents

You tried to keep cool, but youcouldn’t hold back a big sigh in relief, you were so afraid of his reaction,you thought he was going to leave you, you cried a little

He also cried a little: “MC, you werethe one who taught me to let things on the past go, why would I leave you? I loveyou, nothing will ever change that! Just forget it and move on. Move on withme” you hugged and kissed him, no porn in the world could ever have such apassionate scene like that

Later that night, when you werecuddling, you told him if he was curious and wanted to watch it, you wouldn’tmind. He considered the idea, but refused. What was the point if you weremoving on, anyway?

Zen

Youwere dating for a while, and every time he talked about moving in together ortaking further steps on the relationship, you would back away

Hecouldn’t understand why, because he knew you liked him as much as he liked you

Younoticed him struggling, and you couldn’t handle anymore

Youmade him sit and told him everything. You were younger and desperate for money,you didn’t actually regret it, but wasn’t really proud.

Actually,this was never a problem for you until you started dating, because now you knewthis could be a scandal in his promising career

Youknew how those tabloids could drag you to the mud, you and him. So, for thefirst time, you were really ashamed of what you did, tears rolled down fromyour eyes

Hefelt hurt, not because of what you did, but because of what the media could doto you. A lovely, sweet girl like you could be destroyed because of such a sillything like that. Yes, silly.

Youwanted to break up for his job’s sake, he didn’t let you. Your love was toostrong and could overcome anything.

Youwere so overwhelmed, you had the most perfect boyfriend in the world! Why didyou even think leaving him would be good for you? He was your true and onlyhappiness

Butyou were still very self conscious, so Zen asked Seven to make the videodisappear from the internet.

Sevensaid he owned him one, but it was just for tease, he was happy to do this foryou. He kept a copy on a flash drive and gave to you two.

Zengot into an inner debate about watching it or not. You said you didn’t mind, hewas afraid, but yet very curious

Youwatched together, he was concerned about releasing the beast watching this,well… the beast was laughing hard!

Theplot, the lightning, the make-up… awful! You pretended you were offended, butlaughed too.

Hedestroyed the flash drive and kissed you. “Now… my princess, we don’t need cameras,let’s do our own scene, and ours can have much more quality.”

Jaehee

Youcut the crap and told her as soon as you started dating

Itwasn’t full porn, it was just one of those Spring Break videos with drunk girlsshowing her boobs and letting guys take shots of tequila on her bodies

Noneof you were embarrassed, it was lame, and you looked almost unrecognizable.

 Shechuckled a little because you looked so silly and completely different from whoyou were today.

Shedidn’t like seeing you making out with another girl on video, but oh well… thepast is in the past, and you were different now, you wouldn’t do things likethat now

“Yougot paid for this?”

“Yeah,with a bottle of tequila”

 You told her all the crazy stuff you did on that holyday and MOM MODE was activated

“You’rehere and everything is fine, but you could be in real trouble, MC. What if theproducers of this forced you to do something? And you didn’t even make moneyout of this? They shouldn’t exploit drunk naïve girls like that.”

Andnow FEMINIST MODE was on too: “Seriously! What’s wrong with this industry? Theysexualize and objectify girls, they make money on them, and all you got was atequila?”

Shegot a point, but Jaehee chill, this was a long time ago

“No,that’s it! What’s the name of the studio that shot this? I’m writing them anemail, if they don’t send you money, I’m taking this to court”

Nowshe was the one being naïve, and you were embarrassed

Butit was very cute to see your girlfriend so ready to fight for you

Jumin

It’sthe same case as Zen. He was ready to go further, you were backing away

Youknew this could be a scandal, and you didn’t want to tell him, because you wereterrified of his possible reaction

Andthen he confronted you. Why didn’t you want a relationship with him? It wasbecause of his possessiveness? Because he was too cold?

Youfelt horrible seeing him like this, he wasn’t the problem at all

Butyou were too scared to tell him, so instead, you actually showed him

He was shocked! What were you thinking?

“Ineeded the money for college.”

“Youcould’ve asked me”

“Ididn’t even know you back then”

 “Well…ok.”

Hedidn’t ask anything, he didn’t even say anything else. Oh boy… this was evenscarier than you thought.

Youhaven’t heard anything from him for a couple of days and just thought it wasover. You wished you two could have solved this in a more mature way, but…well, you weren’t in the position to demand anything from him.

However,one day, he appeared at your house. “It’s taken care of”

“Whatdo you mean?”

“Atfirst, I wanted to arrest the producers and everyone that saw that video, butmy lawyer told me there’s no crime because you weren’t a minor. So I paidLuciel to at least make that video disappear from the face of the earth. I evenlet him play with Elizabeth the 3rd, I would do anything for you, sokeep that in mind before running away from me.”

“I– I didn’t run away, I just thought you didn’t want anything to do with meanymore, this could ruin your reputation! I mean… a corporate heir and a…”

“Don’teven think about finishing that sentence, MC! No one can talk about you likethat, not even you, you hear me? I love you! I don’t mind your past, everythingthat matters is the present and, most important, our future together. I’m usedto media trash talking, so don’t even think a trivial thing like that couldmake me dislike you.”

 Youdidn’t have an answer, at least not one with words, so you just kissed him overand over

Andwhen you were cuddling in your bed, he smirked. “So… are you still able to dothe position you did on minute 23:17 on the video?”

“Howmany times did you watch it?”

Saeyoung

Well,he knew because of the background check

Hewould never bring it up if you haven’t done first

Youexplained your situation back then, he fell sad for you, but that didn’t matteranymore

 “So…now I can watch it without feeling guilty?”

“Asif you haven’t watched before”

“IDIDN’T! I SWEAR TO GOD!”

Youdidn’t believe at first, but you changed your mind when you two startedwatching

Becauseit was a freaking secret agent plot, and it was so bad! And you could tell hewas reacting to this for the very first time

 Andhe pointed out all the inconsistencies on the story

“Youcould never carry a gun on a outfit like that, your target would totally see itand shoot you first”

“Theboss would never show his face like that, let alone showing you his-“

“Okay,that’s it! Turn it down!”

“Nooooo,it’s so funny!”

Hegot into a debate with himself about deleting the video of the site. Althoughhe wanted to keep those scenes of you all to himself, he couldn’t  deprive the world of such a masterpiece

Buthe deleted after all, and kept a copy for him

Youwere happy that he was so chill about that, but you knew he was going to teaseyou about it forever!

Whenyou were in bed at night, he crawled up over you, gave you a deep kiss andwhispered in your ear. “Now I’m gonna teach you how to properly finish atarget, my hot little spy”

Saeran

Healso did a background check on you before leading you to the apartment

Atthat time, this wasn’t really relevant for him and his plans

Afterhe recovered, he totally forgot about that

Untilyou brought it up when you started dating

Blushingmess. Oh my god, he looked at you and couldn’t believe such a cute creature coulddo all those things in front of a fucking camera

 Youfelt bad for making him uncomfortable and apologized

Andnow he was the one feeling bad because you were just being honest about yourpast, and hell, who was he to judge the stupid things you did?

 Youwere his, so yes, he made that video disappear

Butto show you he was ok with that, he kept a copy and you watched together

Hescoffed. “You were totally faking it!”

“What?No, I wasn’t!”

“Ofcourse you were! When I fuck you like that, you make a completely differentnoise.”

‘Howdo you know I’m not faking it with you, then?” you teased, he responded with awicked glare at you.

“First,we’re gonna burn that copy. Then I’m gonna make you pay for even suggestingthat! I know your body very well and how it react to my touch… and I’m gonnaremind you of that all night!”

[houseofkooks]

aaaaa this is just a note 2 myself but CHIVES IF YOU’RE READING THIS know that it’s inspired by ur twt ahaha (idk if you’re on tumblr anymore but just in case!!!)

u mentioned lack of motivation and i think it’s something that we and a lot of people our age are experiencing. so i thought a lot about it and i just wanted to jot down all my little THOTS so that i can come back to them later as reminders and as encouragements (?) for myself but anyway yes here i go

mmmk so i didn’t learn a lotta things in college bc i rly just relied on short term memory for most tests. but i do faintly remember learning about different types of motivation in one of the health science classes. 

this is v similar to what i had in my textbook

so i read up on them again bc heck no i don’t actually remember wat each of them means.

short summary

amotivation: lack of intentionality resulting from not valuing an activity, not feeling competent to do it, or not believing it will yield a desired outcome. [me in the latter half of college, where a combination of all three made me a very big flop of goo with zero ounce of motivation]

external regulation: doing something bc you’re asked to. doing it for an external cause. [me @ work right now, just doing things bc my boss told me to, not because i really have to or because i really want to]

introjection: all about STATUS. doing something for eco-enhancements. doing it for your self-esteem [i guess this applies bc sometimes i have this dumb but thankfully fleeting thought that i need to do certain things in order to uphold my rep as someone who’s “smart.” idk but maybe this is some kinda complex that a lotta kids from rice might experience? but it’s just so dumb like the only reputation i should care about is the one that i earn from doing something i actually want to do]

identification: you’re able to identify the importance of a behavior. you have to do this in order to do something else. [like how i have to go to pt school to be a pt to earn money. i’m not sure where money as a motivator really lands in this spectrum, but this is the closest i can place it?]

integration: you do it bc you know it’s good for you, even though you might not like doing it. [EXERCISE UHGHGHGHGHG]

and ofc, the holy grail, the ultimate goal: INTRINSIC MOTIVATION. OOOOH. this is when u do things u like without having to be motivated by other things like money or external rewards. [this is me all day errday when i stare at jk’s face or watch any bts videos in general]

ok so the point of relearning all of that is to analyze my own behaviors and identify my own motivations. 

first i think it’s good to examine my intrinsic motivation. here are some things i enjoy in life. like actually love doing -- eating yummy food, traveling while eating, watching bts videos, going to bts concerts, buying bts goods, MAKEUP!!, skincare, baking, giving said baked goods to my friends, hanging out with friends (but only the few i’m comfortable with), hanging out with my mom, organizing my stuff so it looks clean and pretty, giving presents to people i love, giving things to people i don’t know, reading fics, reading books (tho lol i don’t do that anymore), watching dramas (tho y do they suck these days) and prob more but these are the most prevalent ones. 

now. all of these are not possible without money. I DON’T MAKE THE RULES bc i wish it weren’t like that either. but food, makeup, bts, even reading require MONEY bc guess wat i can’t have any of these if i’m on the streets struggling to keep my stomach full. SO MONEY IS VERY IMPORTANT DAPH. get your head straight and just accept the fact that you need money for all these things, as sad as it sounds. but the GOOD THING IS. that they don’t require a LOT of money. i mean my interests aren’t that costly or impressive. but nevertheless, ya better get ur bank account more loaded than it is rn or u in trouble.

ok 2nd point. a lotta jobs can bring me money, yes? i can keep doing what i’m doing-- sit at a desk, look at a computer all day, joke around with coworkers. theoretically it’s not that bad. i’m good at staying where i am, at maintaining the equilibrium in my life and i don’t like it to be disturbed. but HONESTLY how much money is this gonna get me? not a lot. how much enjoyment is it gonna give me? not that much. i mean honestly right now all i do is talk to my coworkers about their days and their children and their tv shows and it’s all good in the hood and it’s fun BUT I GET SHIT MONEY OK. now keep in mind, u gotta take care of your parents and grandma when you actually get a job. and when dad’s too old to work. which will prob be soon bc his job sux and his industry is dying and everything is sad and gloomy. SO U NEED MONEY. but anyway i digress bc i’m supposed to have moved on from money lol. ok OK now, a lotta jobs can bring me money. but let’s examine all of them. first of all, all the high-paying ones? I’M NOT INTERESTED. i don’t wanna be an engineer even if i could do it, i don’t wanna be a CS person, or a lawyer, or a business person. 

now here’s the part that hurts a bit every time i think about it. D o C T o R. yes i wanted to be a doctor when i was in school. but now that i think about it. did i really? do i really? nope. and this isn’t me being salty.

so when i was younger and more ambitious i wanted to be someone who made a difference. i wasn’t gonna go down in history and no one will know about me when i die except for my kids and grandkids if i even have any. but because when i die, i will have spent my entire life here in this society, i wanna actually contribute to it. so yes, as cliche and “don’t say this at interviews” as it sounds, i wanted to help people. and i still do! i want to be able to make a difference in someone’s life so that my existence isn’t just limited to my own little self. so when i was younger and more ambitious, the first profession i thought of that would fulfill this rule is to be a doctor. because that’s what doctors do! they help people. but as i later learned, to be a doctor doesn’t just entail just sitting there helping patients. and then thankfully, i was able to experience what physical therapists do, and i really really like it. it’s like helping people, but on a more long-term basis. you get to make more of an impact by forming deeper of a relationship.

if i really think about it, i don’t actually remember my doctors. like yes i’m glad they prescribed medicine to me so that i’m still alive, but i honesty don’t remember their names nor remember exactly what they did. well maybe a family doctor or OBGYN would be more rewarding, but at least for me, the people i remember are people i had to see for a long extended period of time. like my dentist when i had braces. and well i didn’t have therapy but if i did, i would imagine that my therapist would have had a larger impact on me than my doctors. 

wow this is getting unnecessarily long wtf lol

ok ANYWAY. i think when i go to pt school, my main motivation would be external in the form of identification. bc i have to do it. i have to go to school and get a degree so that i can become a pt and MAKE A DIFFERENCE in people’s lives in my own way, and also to MAKE MONEY yay. and when i do become a pt, i’m hoping this external motivation gets upgraded to an intrinsic one (or at least an integrated external motivation) where i actually enjoy what i do and want to keep doing it. 

NOW. NOTE TO FUTURE SELF. SO THAT PRESENT ME CAN PREMATURELY SAY “I TOLD U SO.”

YOU’RE NOT GONNA LUV UR JOB ALL THE TIME. you’re gonna have to do it for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. you wake up, go to work, come home and have maybe 4-5 hours to yourself, and then you have to go to sleep bc HOW ELSE will you stay awake to do another 8 hours all over again. and this isn’t school where u can just dose off and procrastinate. there are actual patients who need u to be on ur best behavior. so then you do this over and over again. and eventually it’ll all become the same. that’s just the nature of repeated exposure. it’s like ya i luv watching bts videos and reading fics but if u told me to sit there and do 40 hours of it every week and then week after week, heck no i’m not gonna like it!!! it’ll all be the same videos i watch and then i’ll already know what happens. eventually i’ll run outta fics or all the plotlines will start to feel the same!!! so yes. you’re not gonna love your job all the time because like anything else, it’ll suck when it sucks. you’ll probably have bad bosses or bad clients or just bad days. you’ll get tired of work like you got tired of school. BUT NEVER FORGET that you’re doing it because you kinda have to. and you know what kim namjoon the greatest bestest cutest wisest babs said?!?!?!?!! and prob a lotta other ppl but ima attribute it to my babs. THINGS ARE SAD TO MAKE THE HAPPY THINGS HAPPIER. (or something like that this is not a direct quote)

but yea. work will seem tedious and boring and repetitive, but that’s to make your weekends and vacation times more exciting. and it’s not like you’ll hate your job. you won’t like it every day but i’m fairly certain that there’ll be days you’ll thank me YES ME YOUR PAST SELF that i’ve made a good decision. because you’ll get to be doing what you’ve always wanted to do! to help people! to earn money so you can help even more people! and earn money so that you can do all the things you love!!!!!! yay me. yay you. hehe

for future ref: source1, source2