#also this wound up being 1.3k words of probable nonsense...i do rip

[cosmicmoved]

11 !

CRUCIAL MUSE DEVELOPMENT FOR TOMO KATSUMURAfor what would your character give their life? / @sharkapologlst

This is a bit of a tricky question in that I don’t feel it’s right to give a super literal answer, given the nature of Tomo as a character, but I think the non-literal answer is the more interesting on, as well as the one that ultimately says more about Tomo overall. The thing for which Tomo would give his life, in a manner of speaking, is his art. No doubt about it. This refers to, of course, the art of acting. He’d probably admit to it himself, without really realising he meant it. It sounds like a cliché and he’d say it like he knew that, just so he’d sound passionate, but it’s true. Deep down, it’s absolutely true. And I can’t say it’s a good thing.

Despite his reputation as a wild child, he cares deeply about his work. He’s presented to the world as someone who abuses his own talent and fame by partying and making bad decisions but, for Tomo, those things are very separate. The truth is that they’re not and Tomo does dumb shit to cope with the stress of having come into fame at a sensitive age but the point is that he believes they’re separate parts of his life. Still, the trouble is that he doesn’t take his career for granted and he’s not just here to reap the rewards of fame. In fact, he has very mixed feelings about it; he hates being under scrutiny all the time but he needs the attention. Y’know, or else he feels like he’s vanishing away. But that’s a whole different story. The main point here is that Tomo loves acting. Maybe he doesn’t love his job because of all the other shit that comes with it but he loves acting. It’s his passion, it’s perfect escapism!

Even if he’s been pushed to work on a film he doesn’t want to do, he puts his all into it because he cares about the craft. But when he’s working on a film he does genuinely want to do, that’s when stuff can get a little, uh, problematic. Tomo takes his work perhaps a little too seriously. We’re not talking method acting or anything, he’s not that interested in that side of things and he’d never take on a role that demanded physical change because he likes having free reign over his personal life and there’s no director he’s going to trust like that. Ha. It’s more that Tomo tends to obsess over getting everything right when he’s preparing for a role. He’s less open and chatty while he’s in this preparation phase and it’s not unheard of for him to stay at home and mostly just avoid contact with people. Not because he’s trying to block anybody out, just because he’s too focused on what he’s doing. Min often comes around to visit him anyway, granted he has the free time, and Tomo’s more than okay with that because they understand each other’s boundaries and Min’s pretty willing to help him read lines. To be honest, I think hanging out with Min and reading lines with him probably keeps Tomo grounded because he doesn’t have to obsess and panic over whether or he’s getting things right because he has active feedback from someone who understands him better than anybody else. As you may know, Tomo has not long since returned from a year living in Tokyo, working on a Japanese film, and I’m sure it goes without saying that he didn’t have that support network while he was living there. Maybe I’ll talk about how he got on in another post soon. (actually, might write a drabble abt smth soon hehe)

Buuuuuut the fact remains that Tomo is more than willing to put that kind of work before his own needs. Tomo doesn’t really sleep well when he’s working on films because he’d rather spend as much time getting his work done than rest. Burn-out is a pretty common issue for him and, although he tries to approach work as professionally as possible, there have been occasions where filming’s been put on pause because Tomo hit his limit. He hates it when that happens, it makes him feel guilty even though usually he has to be ordered to take a break.Again, this isn’t a very literal answer but I think it’s more that Tomo sees acting as his life. Maybe I didn’t really answer this right! I’m not really suggesting that Tomo would push himself so far for acting that he’d end up…actually dying or anything like that but I mean that, again, his work is his life. He’s already decided, although he’s still young, that he’ll stake his whole life on being the kind of actor he wants to be rather than the actor his bosses want him to be. Doing his job right, continuing to earn the right to do what he wants for a living…these are all things he values as higher than looking out for himself. Because Tomo has a lot of issues with his own identity as a result of being pushed with these strict images at a young age, he’s quite content to escape into his roles. His priorities are very mixed up.

Obviously, he WANTS to have a life outside of his work. He doesn’t want acting to be the only thing he’s got. But the point is that, so long as he’s got that, he thinks he can manage. He’d be miserable but he thinks he could get by and still see meaning in things so long as he had acting. And maybe close friends. Tomo wouldn’t do well at all if he suddenly had no social circle but, so long as his closest friends (i.e; Min) stuck around and he had acting, he’d manage. This is something he’ll NEVER admit because he’s sure someone would inevitably say he was like his dad and that’s something he doesn’t want to hear. He doesn’t enjoy being compared to his dad. It’s annoying. He wants to be valued as his own actor.

Although, trying to be seen as his own actor and making sure the image people have of him doesn’t get to distorted is something else for which he’d go pretty fucking far. It’s important to remember that we’re talking about a guy who drove himself into a tree as a reaction to be pushed a squeaky-clean teen heartthrob against his will. Granted, he was very, very careful about it (he didn’t come out of it unscathed but he really tried his best not to cause too much damage) and did it more for the sake of making a spectacle. This was a few years ago so he had been younger but the point is that he’s willing to do a LOT to make his point. It was a stunt that could have easily ruined his career flat-out. He could have faded into obscurity the second he was fired from that TV show. As seriously as Tomo takes the projects about which he’s passionate (i.e; not that TV show lmao), he’s not afraid of causing a fuss. He’s upset a lot of people in the latter, more recent half of his career. His move to Japan pissed a lot of people off too but he wanted to make a point about his right to be independent. I think he’d rather do risky things and fuck his career than have somebody else push him into a career without passion.

(also, I’m sorry if this is very rambly and confusing and doesn’t make a lot of sense; i didn’t really proof-read it or anything and, honestly, tomo himself…doesn’t make much sense, i guess? he’s supposed to be kind of a contradictory character so, if this is confusing, that’s probably about right ASDFGHJHGFD)