#also this isnt about bengiyo please no one make it about him

[kevin-the-bruyne]

Hi, thanks for saying that a bunch of dudes vibing is not cheapening the meaning of queer found family. It honestly makes me sad that people look at queer found family as something that can't just be light and wholesome. Queerness does not have to be focussed on pain/trauma, in fact it makes me so happy that in this show it isn't. We can be queer and have queer found family and just vibe, we deserve that

Of course!!! My sole purpose in life is to validate as many queer experiences that I possibly can. To be fair to bengiyo (the user I was responding to) I don't think it's the absence of pain or trauma that invalidates We Are as found family for him. I don't want to put any extra words in his mouth over what was exchanged between us in the replies of this post and this post. I value that he has opinions to give and am happy that he feels like he has the space to share them.

Having said that, I would very much like to stop being in conversation with this concept that there are parameters around queer found family, that there are capitalist or puritanical lenses through which we must view queer themes/media. These types of opinions are really upsetting to me and I happen upon them a little too often in the BL fandom.

If we have to use those terms then these are mine:

I want queer found family to be cheap, I want queer comfort to be cheap. I want bad queer representation as much as I want good queer representation. Unforgotten Night is as valuable as KinnPorsche.

Yes, we deserve light and fluffy stories, we deserve stories that are vibes more than plot. We deserve it all. But of course coming back to the actual drama that sparked this: "We Are" - I think the main problem is that people think it's shallow but it's just not. If it was shallow then people would just move on. But people can't move on because they have no idea what to do with it and that confusion sticks. I really think if the people who dislike it could stop seeing it as shallow then their own distaste for it would make more sense

Being light and being shallow are different things. We are is both intelligent and has an incredible amount of depth in the context of the BL genre. Yes, queer found family is whatever a queer person watches and feels that comfort of being known and loved in a relationship. But even amidst general standards of found family representation? We Are has excellent representation of found family. It's actually on the upper end of this type of representation in BL. What is the number one thing people say when they say how much they love We Are? The friendships. Where the fuck are queer people finding their chosen families if not amongst friends?