#also this is why pants roles in opera are a necessity

[elucubrare]

the thing about 18th century (men's) fashion is that it's both rigorously stylized (the neatness of the breeches/stocking line, the stiffer fabrics) and extravagant (dramatic colors, SO much embroidery) and i love a good intrinsic tension

[hearts-hunger]

I’m Happy at Home || part six

Look on my masterlist for parts 1-5!

Part summary: You and John reminisce on the early days of your friendship with the boys. When Freddie and Brian come home, you know you wouldn’t trade your little family for the world.

Pairings: John Deacon x Wife!Reader

Genre: Fluff (oh boy it’s real fluffy)

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: light smut, smoking

A/N: My loves! Part 6 is finally here! Thank you so much for your patience and your encouragement as I was going through some really tough writer’s block, it’s meant more to me than you’ll know. I really hope this chapter makes up for the delay, and I hope part 7 won’t be too long in coming!

You stayed in bed together for a little while, talking and making each other laugh and enjoying the simple luxury of cuddling each other. When you started to get chilly and become more aware of the bit of a mess you both were, John suggested a shower. Though you’d fully intended to shower to get clean, you found you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to give your husband a proper thank you for how well he’d loved you that night; you ended up on your knees with his fingers tangled in your hair, pride and pleasure and sheer adoration filling you as you listened to his moans and lavish praise.

He was a little wobbly afterwards; to steady and soothe him, you had him lean against the shower wall as you took your time washing his hair and lathering his beautiful body until he was clean and warm and sleepy. You made quick work of your own soaping-up, a blush accompanying your smile as he watched you with an impossibly gentle and affectionate gaze.

Once out of the shower, you dressed in whatever you grabbed out of your suitcases, layers of sweaters and pajama pants. John wore his soft yellow Disneyland sweater that always made him look very cuddly. You stopped to check in on Teddy as you went out to the kitchen, brushing his curls back from his face and kissing his cheek.

You hopped up on the island as John set about making tea at the stove across from you, the sounds of his rummaging about the kitchen giving a homey comfort to the large, dark house. 

“Quiet without the boys,” John said, setting the kettle to boil. 

You hummed in agreement. You and John had spent most of your adult life bumping shoulders in tiny flats, rooming with Freddie, Brian, and Roger. When you met you’d been living with Brian, and it wasn’t two weeks after John’s first audition before Freddie insisted John come room with him and Roger in their flat. You’d always seen that as a testament to how easily all the boys had become brothers; within a month they went from strangers to bandmates to roommates to best friends.

Though it had been a necessity in the early days, when Queen was booking just enough pub gigs to split the rent between them, all five of you had pushed off moving into separate, bigger houses even when you had the money. It took you and John getting married and getting a small flat of your own to prompt the boys into taking an interest in real estate; even then, you were all living in such close quarters on tour that it still felt like you were college roommates. You all had a deep fondness for those days, when you were broke and eating whatever could be found in the cupboards as you crashed at one of the flats to watch Marx Brothers movies. 

“I’m glad we’re all here,” you said.

He smiled. “Kinda like the good old days, huh?”

You reached for his hand and he obliged you, letting you tug him closer to you. He rested his free hand on your thigh, running his thumb over the plaid of your pajama pants.

“Is it terrible that I miss that?” you asked, your voice soft. “I mean, I love Teddy more than anything in the whole world, and I love being married to you and having our own house and everything...”

“But?” he prompted gently.

You shrugged. “But, you know, I loved living like that. Even though we had a lot more to worry about, like rent and essays and you guys booking enough gigs. I loved that we were all basically living all together.” You smiled. “Maybe we should get a big flat and live together for real.”

He laughed. “And have Roger keep us up all hours with his shagging? No, thank you.”

“God, that was pretty awful,” you said with a laugh, remembering the numerous times you and John had relocated to your flat because Roger was being obscenely loud with his latest fling. Not only was it unmistakable in John’s room, with the shared wall between his and Roger’s room, but you couldn’t even escape it in the living room. Freddie would always be over at yours and Brian’s flat soon after, going on about thin walls while the long-suffering Brian listened kindly and made tea.

“To be fair, though, we probably did our fair share of knocking the headboard against that shared wall,” John said with a cheeky smile.

You grinned and kissed him. “Probably,” you agreed.

He looked up at you with a gentle gaze when your broke apart. “I don’t think it’s terrible that you miss that,” he said. “I miss it too. I mean, we’re so happy now, but we were also happy then. A different kind of happy. And I don’t think it’s ungrateful to miss a different kind of happy.”

You traced your fingers over the collar of his t-shirt. “A different kind of happy,” you mused. Like nearly everything John said, it made sense and helped you to see you weren’t alone in your feelings. “Thank you.”

He gave you a bemused smile. “What for?”

You shrugged. “Knowing me. Loving me well.” You smiled. “Indulging my sentimentality.”

He chuckled as he tucked a curl behind your ear. “You’re welcome.”

“We should have just had a big flat back then,” you said, still a bit fond of the idea.

He smiled. “With how often you and Bri were at our place, it would have made more sense.”

“You three had the tv!” you protested. “How else was I supposed to watch Upstairs, Downstairs?”

“Did I ever tell you I don’t really like Upstairs, Downstairs?”

Your eyes widened. “What? That’s not true. You love it!”

He laughed. “I really don’t. Soap operas have never been my thing.”

“But you watched it with me every week!” you insisted.

He gave you a lovely smile. “I wanted to be with you.”

You felt a little dismayed to know you’d put him through countless episodes of a show he didn’t even like, but you were also endeared and amused that he’d put up with it for you.

 “Well damn, sweetheart, I’m sorry,” you said with a sympathetic laugh. “I just assumed since you always cleared your schedule to watch it with me that you liked it. Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

He shrugged, a smile playing across his features. “You liked it, and we could have been watching a blank tv screen for all I cared. We had our first kiss watching Upstairs, if you recall, and from then on I decided that I’d watch any tv show in the world to be able to kiss you again.”

You didn’t think you’d ever forget that night. Since Freddie was the only one out of you who didn’t have exams to study for, he’d herded all of you and your textbooks into the kitchen so he could mother the four of you. With Brian unable to take on the responsible, mother-hen role thanks to his studying, Freddie easily and actually quite adeptly stepped in. He’d ordered takeout, making sure everyone got their favorite, and spent the evening making strong tea and checking in with each of you. You and John had taken a break to watch Upstairs, and when you’d laughed at something one of the maids said, John had been so taken with you that he leaned in and kissed you.

“Still the best kiss you’ve ever given me,” you said fondly.

He looked playfully aghast. “You mean to tell me that after ten years, I haven’t managed to top that?”

“Nope, sorry,” you teased. “Twenty-year-old Deaky will always have a leg up on you.”

“Damn him to hell,” John said, looking up at you like you hung the moon. “I suppose I’ll just have to keep kissing you until I figure it out.”

You grinned. “You know what they say, practice makes perfect.”

He took your chin in hand and drew you down to kiss him, trying out every trick in the book to make it quite possibly the headiest kiss he’d ever given you. You couldn’t help a smile even as his tongue explored your mouth; you could get used to this determination to one-up a kiss that really hadn’t been technically wonderful, but was still your favorite because of how shy and lovely it had been. 

“How was that?” he asked a little breathlessly when you came up for air. You knew you were blushing, and his smile was cheeky.

“I know, I know,” he said affectionately. “Not nearly as nice as the first kiss of a pretty boy absolutely smitten with you.”

You gently touched your fingers to his soft lips. “What’s your favorite kiss?”

“All of them,” he said, without hesitation. He smiled when he saw you roll your eyes. “It’s true! Every single kiss is my favorite.”

“That’s not how favorites work,” you said, amused.

“Well, it is with me. Besides, how could I pick a favorite? Which one would I choose?” He punctuated his questions with soft kisses on your cheek, your nose, your forehead. “Our first kiss as man and wife? The kiss you gave me when you told me you were pregnant? The kiss I gave you the first time I made you cum? There’s too many to choose from. Even the ones not nearly as memorable are still wonderful.”

You felt yourself lean close to him as he pulled back to look at you, something in you pulled inevitably towards the sincerity of his words and the gentleness of his touch.

“This one - ” he said, kissing you tenderly. “This one is my favorite too. Now, doesn’t that sound like a little less of a cop out?”

You hummed in agreement, a little dazed to say anything of consequence.

He smiled. “I have that effect on a lot of women.”

You grinned. “You’re teasing, but it’s true.” You ran your fingers through his hair. “Lucky for me, I’m the only one who gets to take you home at the end of the night.”

He kissed you again, and you had the feeling that you would never tire of kissing him and giving him new favorites as long as you lived. You broke apart when the kettle started to whistle, John reluctantly turning from you to set about making tea.

“Good lord, it’s freezing.”

Both you and John looked to the front door to see Freddie and Brian come in, their hair and the shoulders of their jackets dusted with a fine layer of snow. Freddie impatiently scrubbed a hand through his short curls as he and Brian made their way inside and closed the door behind them.

“Don’t wake up my kid,” you warned, your voice just loud enough to carry from the kitchen into the living room. 

“Fuck, sorry,” Freddie said, taking his voice to a stage whisper, which was only marginally better. “Forgot about Teddy. He’s asleep?”

“It’s nearly three in the morning, Freddie,” Brian said as he hung up his own coat and the one Freddie had discarded over the back of the couch. “What five-year-old wouldn’t be asleep?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Freddie said, waving him off. “I don’t have any Mercury babies running around, I wouldn’t know.”

Brian laughed as he followed Freddie into the kitchen, pulling on his sweater with the rainbow guitar stitched over the chest. “But Freddie, that’s just common sense. You don’t need to have children to know that.”

“Perhaps you’ve forgotten, but I am a little drunk,” Freddie said smartly, opening the fridge. “Speaking of which, where’s the beer?”

“Top shelf,” John supplied. “Though I’ve made tea if you want that instead.”

“I’ll have some, thank you,” Brian said. He kissed your cheek. “Hi, love.”

You smiled. “Hi, Brimi. How was the party?”

“Entertaining,” he said, amused. He took the cup of tea John handed him. “Though Freddie and I decided to take our leave when the party moved outside.”

“These Canadians are built for weather like this,” Freddie said. “But I’m rather more delicate, you know. No use dancing with all those burly Mounties if I can’t feel my feet.”

“Oh, you poor thing,” you said melodramatically, leaning back across the island countertop towards him. “Come here.”

Freddie grabbed a beer and closed the fridge, putting his free hand in yours and letting himself be led over to stand by you. 

“You’re the only one with any sympathy around here, darling,” he said. “The only one who really loves me.”

“I know,” you agreed, taking the beer from him and setting it on the counter. “Which is why I’m making you stand here with me while John makes you tea to warm you up.”

He sighed and leaned against the counter with his back to you, letting you drape your arms over his shoulders and kiss his cheek.

“Did you have fun with the Mounties before you were freezing to death?” you asked.

“Oh, loads,” he said. He reached up to lightly pat your cheek. “Though it’s lovely to be home. You and Deaky had a rip-roaring time here, I hope?”

“Not really,” you teased, blushing a little when John winked at you. “It was purely business.”

Freddie gave a theatrical gasp. “Business, you say? Oh, I haven't done a call-girl roleplay in ages. Was it very nice?”

Brian laughed. “I'm not sure that's exactly what they meant.”

“No?” Freddie asked, giving John a pout. He made his way over to John and leaned his head on his shoulder. “That's too bad. I could have made much better use of your time, Deaky, honestly.”

“Don't I know it, loverboy,” John said dramatically, throwing Freddie his best and most exaggerated smoulder. 

Freddie laughed. “Oh, stop it. You're making me blush.”

John's expression was warm with affection as he grinned at his best friend. “You're a mess, Fred, you know that?”

“Yes, darling, but I’m your mess,” Freddie said cooly, taking the mug of tea John offered.

John cradled his own mug in his hands. “What she means by business is that we're trying for a baby.”

Freddie nearly choked on his tea. “A baby?”

You smiled. “Not our best idea?”

“No, no, I think it's wonderful,” he said quickly. His smile was genuine and elated when he met your eyes. “You did so well with your first one, darling, I think another one would be absolutely smashing.”

“I'm glad you think so,” you said sincerely. You couldn't say that the boys’ reaction hadn’t been a worry to you before you’d even broached the topic with John; you were a family, and you wanted them to be excited about it too. You could tell now, though, that your worries had been silly: both Freddie and Brian looked pleased a punch at the idea, and John was practically beaming with pride.

“It's really lovely, you guys,” Brian said to you and John. His smile turned a bit cheeky. “Would it be forward of me to wish you happy baby-making?”

“Not any more forward than Freddie seducing my husband into kinky sex,” you said dryly.

Freddie raised a brow. “Jealous, are we?”

You giggled and were rewarded with three lovely smiles from three of the men you loved most in the world. You wished that Roger was here, but you were sure he was having fun with his date; besides, there'd be no shortage of smiles from the blonde when he came home tomorrow with another notch on his bedpost.

“You should look at your horoscope to see when you're most likely to get pregnant, darling,” Freddie said.

You laughed. You and Freddie loved reading your horoscopes, and even though John, Roger, and Brian teased you relentlessly about it, they still listened with polite intent when you insisted on reading theirs to them. You and Freddie most appreciated Brian's indulgence when it came to detailing what the month held for Cancers; to the almost-doctor of the stars, the very idea of astrology was an amusing hobby at best and an affront to astronomical study at worst. That he listened patiently and didn't immediately dismiss everything you said about his life in the upcoming weeks was a testament to his love for both of you.

“Speaking of which,” Freddie said, “Brian was telling me about some phenomenon or other happening tonight with the stars, weren't you, love?”

Brian chuckled. “Well, it doesn't have anything to do with star signs, I'm afraid.”

“Not to worry,” Freddie said. “Your star things are always much better. What was it again? Some German word, I think?”

“Gegenschein,” Brian agreed. "It's a reflection of sunlight in interplanetary dust. You can see it much clearer when you’re as far away from the city as we are.”

“Is it tonight?” Freddie asked, making you smile with his sincere interest in what Brian loved. He suddenly looked worried. “Oh, dear, did I make you miss it by dragging you to that party?”

Brian smiled. “No, you’re alright. It happens all the time, but light pollution makes it very hard to see.”

“But you can see it from here?” Freddie pressed.

“Yes, I saw it as we walked in. It’s quite lovely.”

“You didn’t show me?” Freddie asked.

Brian looked a little bemused. “Did you want to see it? I can show you now, if you like.”

Freddie smiled. “Yes, please do.” He and Brian made their way out towards the back porch, with Freddie calling for you to join them before listening to Brian’s more detailed explanation of what exactly they were going to see.

John extended a hand to you and helped you off the counter. “Shall we do a bit of stargazing, my love?”

You smiled up at him and gave him a quick kiss. “I’d love to.”

You and John held hands as you walked out to the back porch, you tucking your free hand snugly under his arm as the cold night air rushed in the open porch door.

“You want my sweatshirt?” John asked, looking down at you.

“No, I’m ok,” you said. “But thank you.”

He smiled. “Let me know if you want it.”

The view from the porch was lovely in the night, the lake stretched out in a still, dark reflection of the starry sky above. The woods that surrounded the lake were dusted heavily with snow, catching the faint light of the crescent moon; you could see your breath as it came in little clouds in front of you.

“It’s just there,” Brian was saying to Freddie, leaning over the porch railing to see out from under the roof, pointing out a spot in the night sky.

“The bright spot?” Freddie asked.

“Yes, well done,” Brian said with a smile. You felt yourself smile in response; you always found it endearing when Brian’s teacher side came out. 

“Will you show me?” you asked. You untucked yourself from John’s side, immediately missing his warmth, but you wanted to see the stars too. Brian stepped aside to make room for you at the railing, his fingers tracing a place in the stars to show you.

“You can see that it’s kind of like a band across the sky, just below Aries.”

You tried to make out the constellation, feeling a little guilty that you couldn't pick it out.

“I don’t remember what Aries looks like,” you admitted. “Sorry.”

He gave you a kind smile. “No, that’s quite alright,” he said. He looked back up at the sky. “Let’s see... You see that really bright star, just there?”

You nodded.

“Excellent,” he said. “Now, that’s Hamal, and she’s the brightest star in Aries. If you look just below Hamal, you can start to see a bright spot, kind of like it’s glowing.”

You followed his fingers and saw what he was indicating; you wondered how you hadn’t seen it before. It was a bright patch in the sky, kind of like a stripe across the inky blue.

“I see it!” you said excitedly. Brian’s smile was affectionate enough to warm you despite the cold.

You turned to John. “Come see, honey.”

Though you guessed he would have been content to stay closer to the warmth of the house, you also knew he would never deny you anything in his power to give; he came over to where you, Brian, and Freddie were standing and wrapped his arms around your waist. Huddled between the three of them, you were as warm as you had been inside.

“Where is this wonderful thing?” John asked, looking up in the direction you had been gazing.

Brian chuckled. “Y/N can show you, now that she’s seen it,” he said. Again, his educational nature was never quite absent; he was giving you a chance to teach so that you would remember it better.

“Do you know what Aries looks like?” you asked John.

“Yeah, I do,” he teased. “Some of us actually paid attention when Brian showed us constellations.”

You nudged him playfully. “Oh, well, if you’re so smart, are you sure you need me to show it to you?”

He gave a soft laugh and kissed your jaw. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Show me.” He raised his hand. “Aries is right there, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” you agreed. “And if you look right below it - ”

You drew his hand down just a little. “That’s the gegenschein right there.”

“Oh,” John said; you could tell from his tone that he was more impressed that he thought he’d be. He drew both of your hands down together, twining your fingers. “Yeah, I see it. It’s lovely.”

“Isn’t it?” Freddie agreed. “All of Brian’s star things are always quite lovely.”

Brian smiled. “My star things, hm? I’m honored.”

“Thank you for showing us,” Freddie said. “Does it every get a bit tedious, you know, being around a bunch of us who don’t know anything about space?”

“Oh, not at all,” Brian said sweetly. “I’m very happy to talk about the stars, and I’m always learning with you. I’m probably the tedious one, going on and on about these esoteric things.”

“It’s nice, actually,” John said. He smiled. “Makes me feel better about lecturing everyone on circuit boards.”

Brian chuckled. “Now, that’s something that’s actually useful. Speaking of, I was wondering if you’d take a look at Red Special before the show tomorrow.”

“Sure,” John said. “What’s going on with her?”

Brian shrugged. “She just sounded a little off towards the end of the show, and I’m worried it might be more than just a tuning fix.”

John gave your hand a quick squeeze before he released you from his bear hug, giving Brian his full attention as Brian described what he thought could be wrong with his guitar.

Freddie patted his pockets and came up empty. “Damn,” he said. “I think I left my cigarettes with that Mountie.” He looked over at John, who had taken a seat on the couch catty corner to the chair Brian was sitting in.

“Have you got any cigarettes, Deaky?” he asked.

John nodded towards the house. “In my jeans. They’re on the floor somewhere in the bedroom.”

“For shame, John,” Freddie said teasingly. “Making me root through your discarded clothes for a cigarette, honestly.”

“That’s not how you find all your other smokes?” John said cooly.

Freddie laughed. “Charming, dear, as always.” He went back inside; you stood by the porch railing and crossed your arms over your chest against the cold. You looked out over the lake and listened to Brian and John talking, their voices mixing in a soothing backdrop to your wandering thoughts.

“Sweetheart,” John said after a moment. You turned around.

“Hm?”

He gave you a sweet smile. “Are you cold, love?”

You blushed a little; you were cold, but you hadn’t meant to distract John from his conversation.

“A little,” you admitted.

“Do you want my sweatshirt?”

You shook your head. “I wanted to have a cigarette, and I don’t want to get it all smoky.”

You husband’s laugh was gentle and full of affection. “I don’t mind, lovely,” he said. He pulled it over his head and tossed it to you. “Can’t have you freezing to death.”

You pulled his sweatshirt on, enjoying his warmth and comforting scent practically woven into the fabric. “Thank you.”

He smiled. “Anytime, love.”

He went back to talking with Brian as Freddie came back out to the porch, wearing his favorite yellow sweatshirt with a slightly crumpled pack of Marlboro Lights held triumphantly aloft.

“Took a minute, what with all the unmentionables strewn about the room, but I found them.”

He leaned up against the railing next to you, offering you the carton. “Fancy a smoke, darling?”

“Why thank you,” you said, pulling a cig from the half-empty carton. Freddie took one and lit it, handing you the lighter so you could do the same.

“I really am excited about a new baby Deacon,” Freddie said.

You smiled and exhaled, smoke mixing with the clouds of your breath in the cold air. “Thank you,” you said sincerely. “We’re excited too. I think it’s about time the world was blessed with another mini John Deacon, don’t you?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Freddie said. “You can’t have enough of them, really.” He took a drag of his cigarette. “Since Brian is Teddy’s favorite, I think you should have at least two more so Rog and I can have our very own.”

“In that case, maybe we should shoot for three so that John and I can have one for us, too.”

Freddie laughed. “Very clever of you, darling. Yes, I think that’s a lovely idea. You and Deaky should have one too.”

You leaned your head on Freddie’s shoulder, smiling to yourself. “I love you, Fred.”

His chuckle was a little surprised. “Any particular reason?”

“Nope,” you said. “Just love you.”

He kissed the top of your head. “Well, I just love you too.”

You straightened after a moment as you both finished off your cigarettes, putting them out in the ashtray on the coffee table.

“You two headed in?” Brian asked.

You shrugged. “Are you guys staying out here?”

Brian and John looked to each other.

“Yeah, I think so,” John said. “Right?”

“Well, you’ve just told me you had a new idea for the amp, so I’m not going anywhere until you tell me all about it,” Brian said.

You smiled. You knew better than anybody how the two of them could get when they got started on something they both found interesting, and you guessed they wouldn’t be heading to bed any time soon.

“You can go to bed if you want,” John told you. “You don’t have to wait up.”

You considered taking him up on his offer - your bed did sound awfully inviting - but you also didn’t want to miss just being out here with your best friends. It wasn’t too often these days that you all had a chance to just be together, talking and enjoying each other’s company without the pressures of recording or concerts or dealing with the record label.

“I want to stay,” you said.

“So do I,” Freddie said. “But I’ve got to get a blanket or something or I’ll turn into the Fantastic Frozen Freddie.”

You laughed. “Sounds like a popsicle brand.”

He smirked. “Care to take a lick?”

That brought a laugh from all of you, and it seemed to catch Brian’s funny bone in particular, his normally soft chuckle giving way to a hearty laugh.

“Oh, god, Fred,” Brian said eventually, catching his breath. “I’ve never known anyone quite like you, you old queen.”

“Nor shall you ever, I assure you,” Freddie said with a cheeky smile. “Come on then, help me get some blankets and bring out the tea.”

Brian rose and followed Freddie inside, leaving you and John out on the porch. You sat next to him on the couch and curled up close to him, sighing as you met his warmth.

“You’re sure you don’t want to go to bed?” he asked.

You shook your head. “I might fall asleep right here, though. You’re a really good pillow.”

He chuckled. “Only the best for you, Mrs. Deacon.”

Freddie and Brian came back out to the porch bearing blankets and mugs of tea, slightly cooled from earlier but still nice and warm against the cold of the night. Freddie put a blanket over you and John before taking the spot on the couch on your other side; Brian wrapped himself in a blanket in his chair, cradling his mug in both hands. Uncurling from John so you could sip at your tea, you leaned back against Freddie and propped your feet in John’s lap.

“Alright, Deaky, new ideas for your amp,” Freddie prompted. “Stun us.”

“I dunno if they’re all that stunning,” John said, amused and a little bashful. “But I was thinking of...”

You let your mind wander from their conversation, still listening to the comforting sound of their voices but giving in to the contented tiredness that eased over you. You felt the warm rumble of Freddie’s laugh and watched Brian’s hands as he gestured animatedly when he spoke. John absently traced patterns over your legs, his gentle touch alone enough for you to know that he was always aware of you and always loved you, even when he was preoccupied with something else. 

It was nearly perfect; if Roger had been there, it would have been heaven as you had always imagined it, the comfort of such a deep trust and love and affection between the five of you that you felt at home no matter where you were. Roger would be home in the morning, and then it would be perfect; for now, it was close enough, and you couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else.

series taglist: @mirkwoodshewolf @caborhapch @in-theyearof39 @deaky-dandelion @simply-sams-things @jazzman-19 @ixchel-9275 @polarcrystall @scarlettequinn @itsakindofqueen

forever taglist: @tv-saved-the-teenage-girl @hazah @dashlilymark@punkgeekchic @harrisunn @stephydearestxo @luckytrashgooprebel @someone-get-a-medic @chlobo6

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[rodrigohyde]

What To Wear On A First Date

The first date is often a nerve-wracking experience, and for a good reason; what if the person you are sharing your time with on a date becomes the person you spend all your time with, forever? That setup puts a lot of pressure on making the first date memorable, for all the right reasons. After all, it could be the story you end up telling over again with each new friend you meet as a couple down the road.

There are many reasons you should care about how you dress on a first date, and some, while obvious, ring truer than ever. Dressing well sets the right tone because it demonstrates your respect for your date and lets them know you are invested in their time. If this is the first date after a divorce or break-up, remember, you deserve a chance to rewrite your own history.

Choosing the right outfit will give you the confidence to walk into the date with the right attitude and behaviors. When we wear a suit, for example, we’re not merely choosing to wear a two-piece; no, we’re choosing to put our best selves forward and say, “We deserve to be happy.” We walk taller and generally set out to show the world we are a sophisticated man of value.

Today, we’ll be talking you through a few simple style rules for most first date suggestions to help you set the right tone.

What Color Outfits Are Most Attractive?

The next point I want you to think about is color, and the impact this has on our phycology. All around us, color plays a pivotal role in how we think, feel, shop, and even eat. In restaurants, red is often used to grab your attention and invoke a primal desire; one that can often be satisfied by gorging on delicious food. Orange and yellow also make us hungry -- which is why so many fast food joints use them.

In the romantic world, colors also signify compatibility. You may be familiar with peacocks; the males use brightly colored plumes to attract and seduce their female companions. Scientists confirmed that our perceived chemistry and attraction is often linked inextricably to what color outfits we wear. And it should come as no surprise that red is the top of the lover's list.

What is most interesting about red, however, is that it has a unique effect on men and women. Red indicates passion and desire, in women, but worn on men, it invokes status, power, and virility. This is why you will see kings and other political leaders wearing red robes and suits; in ancient Rome, leaders were called coccinati, meaning “wearing red.”

So, if you want to pick a date night outfit that will hold their attention, and make you feel seductive and powerful, then red is an obvious choice. You don’t have to dress head-to-toe in red, either, to make an impression, a red accent or accessory goes a long way. And fellas, watch out for the “lady in red” -- if she is wearing this color, it may mean she wants you to see her -- and only her.

Here are some solid choices for colors to wear on a first date:

Dark Grey: Black is tempting to wear thanks to its flexibility, but often looks too stuffy and formal; dark grey, however, offers a chic and complementary option in its place.

Navy: If you want a sharp look that cuts the mold, navy is the year-round color of choice for dapper men. Navy pairs with almost any other color exquisitely.

Pastel: Something is refreshing and wholesome about pastel blue or pink, and is an ideal summer color palette that is fresh.

Patterns: Don’t be scared to try out different polka dots, which are classic yet always look clean.

Once you pick your poison, it’s time to consider how to dress for the right season, and how to tailor your date night outfit for any time of the year!

Dressing For The Right Season

Fashion varies with the seasons, out of necessity. In winter, expect to see lots of thicker fabrics, layers, and warmth of color. In spring, expect to see much brighter, fresher colors and lighter fabrics. Depending on where you live, this fluctuation can vary, but as a rule, you will want to switch out your outfits throughout the year to match the weather and seasons.

If the weatherman is forecasting rain, be sure to adapt your outerwear to suit and pick out a waterproof duffle jacket; or if you know it will be hot, look to cooler fabrics such as cotton or linen. It’s amazing how much an outfit can be changed with a quick addition, such as a straw hat in summer, or a woolen scarf in winter. Play around with accessories to get into the seasonal groove.

Here is a quick rundown of what to expect in each season:

Winter: With cooler climates and the potential for snow and ice, layers and warm fabrics are your best bet. Layer undershirts, shirts, sweaters, or jackets for seamless outfits that have lots of dimension and style. Accessories include leather gloves and woolen scarves.

Spring: The air is crisp but refreshing; here, layers will continue to be your friend, but switch out heavy wools or tweed in favor of cotton and linen. Dark demin works well all year round but is offset with pastel shirts or nautical jackets nicely.

Summer: Bright colors and short sleeve shirts signal summer. Pair Capri pants and slicked back hair for summer vibes. Floral prints and patterns are also a fun way to play up the playfulness that summer brings.

Fall: In fall, revert to long-sleeved shirts and pants, but have a good time with boots and leather jackets. Layers will keep off the chill, and look best in autumn colors such as brown, red, yellows, and in textured fabrics, like this suede bomber jacket.

​​ Stock Up: Fratelli Orsini Everyday Men’s Italian Lambskin Cashmere Leather Gloves, $59.95 at Amazon.com

Stock Up: Original Penguin Sunshine Woven Shirt, $39.49 at Nordstrom.com

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Stock Up: Bonobos Moto Bomber Jacket, $198.00 at Nordstrom.com

Now that you have the groundwork covered for what to wear year-round, it’s time to get into specifics of what to wear on your date.

First Date Outfit Ideas

In the following sections, I’m going to breakdown the expectations of what to wear; check out these first date ideas for more inspiration! Before we get started, I want to remind you that while looking good is a key aspect of the first date outfit, you should aim to feel confident and comfortable in what you wear; a man can dress in a thousand-dollar suit and still look cheap if he isn’t feeling it.

Being prepared means trying on an outfit, in its entirety, before the big night to make sure you get a feel for what you are wearing, and to give yourself time to make any changes ahead of the big event. For guys who are dating regularly, having a foundational outfit that allows you to switch up a few items is always a great idea.

The Casual Date

The casual date refers to a relaxed date activity, not a sloppy outfit. The casual date often takes place in the great outdoors and might include a picnic at the park, or a walk on the beach. While relaxed, this is not the time to show her what your day-off attire looks like; instead, look for dressier versions of comfy weekend clothing, such as indigo washed jeans, and dress them up.

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Darker jeans give a nice, pulled-together look that is both casual yet date-appropriate, and can be worn with a short-sleeved shirt for a look that is not too formal, but also shows you know what you are doing. Switch sneakers for leather kicks to take this look from drinks with the guys to the appearance of a casual dating champ.

The Coffee Date

The coffee date is like the casual date but is one of the few exceptions where your date might also tie-in with other events in your schedule, and not necessarily with the person you are dating. This is also the date you might pick if you are meeting someone off Tinder for the first time and want to see if they check out to what they’ve shown you online. Tip: skip the coffee if you know your date well!

For this date, I like to deploy my favorite outfit that I know gets compliments. Again, this is the exception to the rule; the coffee date is only a 30- to 45-minute meet-and-greet, so there’s no overbearing need to turn up looking extra dapper -- unless, of course, you want to. Pay close attention to your wallet, watch or backpack to make sure your outfit works seamlessly together; it’s all in the details.

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The Dinner Date

When going on a dinner date, you should always wear a jacket. Depending on the restaurant, the price-point will offer insight into what kind of jacket is appropriate. If you’re going all-in, then you’ll want to keep reading for my formal date attire tips. For most restaurants, however, a chic blazer for men or a repurposed suit jacket are more than sufficient when paired with dark denim or tan pants.

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If you are going out to lunch, you can sometimes get away with a tailored sports jacket, but in most cases, you will want to invite your date out for an evening meal to set the right tone. An easy way to let your date know what to wear is to invite them to an event for dinner, and use that event to gauge the right attire; for example, dinner and movies will be less dressy than dinner and opera.

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Keep my simple style rule of wearing a jacket in mind, as we venture into a few scenarios. These will round-off your outfit perfectly every time.

To The Movies

When going to the movies, a leather jacket is a solid choice. You can wear a black leather jacket with jeans and a tee-shirt for a timeless look, or a brown-leather jacket with casual pants for a hip look. As you arrive at your seats, you can take your coat off. Choosing a jacket that is not too tightly fitted or tight means a comfortable transition from standing to sitting.

While you might think that the movies are a great opportunity to sit in the dark, remember that your date will still be paying attention to you in the lobby, and so on. Your jacket is an excellent way to make a style statement, as you will likely be face-to-face or sitting side-by-side. Avoid the temptation to wear a hat with a great jacket as this can complicate an outfit.

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For Drinks

Much like the cinema, you can wear a casual outfit when going out for drinks. When standing at a bar, I like to wear a pair of leather loafers that accent my outfit, without making me feel like an overdressed penguin. You’d be amazed at how many people will comment on a good-looking pair of shoes while you wait.

Ted Baker Daiser Bit Loafer, $240.00 at Nordstrom.com

If you are going to a sophisticated wine bar, for example, you can afford to dress your outfit up with a nice watch or a bracelet . If you’re just hanging out at your local bar, this is a rare opportunity to wear a sports jacket. The outfit is largely going to depend on the kind of bar you’re going to, so don’t forget to go check it out ahead of the date if this is your first time going.

The Formal Date

The formal date is all about the fit; just as any formal occasion has clear rules and expectations, you are going to want to pull out all the stops and create an outfit custom to you. The formal date is a time to shine and can start at the classic two-piece suit, through to a full-on tuxedo. For a black-tie or formal event, do not expect to go without a visit to your tailor.

Even a simple suit-and-tie event can be red-carpet-worthy if the cut is correct and built for you. The formal date is a time for black, shiny brogues, and everything to be buttoned up, tucked in, and dust guarded to within an inch of its life. In return, you can expect to make the greatest returns on your investment, as most dates comment that this is the look they are attracted to the most.

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Where To Source Date-Night Outfits

Thanks to dating apps and websites, more people are dating now than ever before. Dating is no longer something we do on a Friday night; dates happen during the weekday, at lunchtime, over breakfast and on the way to another event. That means you need to bumper your closet to accommodate all of these situations and to create new outfits from their ashes. I’m including a few simple tips you can use below to always make sure you have an appropriate date night outfit on-hand, and to breakaway from another trip to the mall:

Subscription services: Pizza isn’t the only thing you can order to your door. Mail order services, like Trunk Club, can provide tailored solutions on a one-time or on-going subscription basis. I’ve seen everything from trendy boutiques to formal vendors offering mail order items.

Thrifting is in: Where people once shunned wearing second-hand clothing, thrift stores have made a revival under the newer, chicer “vintage” apparel label. Go to second hand shops for a cool accent piece at a discounted price.

Your own closet: You’d be amazed at how many times I hear guys say, “I’ve got nothing to wear,” and they have a closet full of clothing. Try on different shirt and pant combos, or switch out a pair of shoes to see how a quick swap can change an entire outfit.

Finally, there are certain things that never go out of style, and these include: being respectful, showing good manners, being chivalrous, and ensuring your date has an excellent time. Put their needs ahead of your own and be attentive, listen to what they have to say, ask questions, and generally set an example for what a great man you are.

Dress to Your Physical Strengths

Choosing the right outfit can play up your best features, and make your date that much more attracted to you. The first date is a time when you are sizing each other up as potential suitors, and anything you can do to gain the advantage is going to make sure you get the results you want – like a second date!

If the thought of picking something to wear makes you nervous, it’s time to take a deep breath and remember that while clothing is a fantastic accessory you can use to show off, it should also be about feeling comfortable and presenting your best and most authentic self.

What Not to Wear on a First Date

I do want to cover a few quick tips on what not to wear on a first date, because even the best men make mistakes. This could be a topic for its own article, but for the sake of brevity, and in the name of common sense, I’m only going to cover some ground rules. These style staples can stop you from ruining an otherwise excellent date night outfit, and are often overlooked.

Not grooming correctly: Why go to all that effort to create an excellent outfit if you haven’t covered all the bases? Check out these grooming tips for single men to find out what women want in their date. You’ll be amazed at the results!

Cologne: Again, this could be an entire article, but no cologne is a happy mistake. Too much cologne is a problem. Apply cologne an hour before you leave the house, and only use a small amount. You don’t want to overdo it.

Wearing too much: Seconding this point, less is always more; that goes for your jewelry, accessories, and even your tan. Too much sends a desperate “try-hard” signal, and won’t give off the same cool air of sophistication that a more minimal choice can.

Being under dressed: While many guys fear the embarrassment of turning up to a date overdressed, I promise that your date will appreciate the oversight. What won’t be appreciated is if you turn up and haven’t put in the effort to groom yourself or dress appropriately .

Reusing an outfit: If you’re meeting for drinks after work, and sport the same suit, or you always start your date night conversation with, “This is my lucky date night outfit,” I can bet you won’t get a second date. By all means, go with what works, but make sure you are wearing your outfit off the rack.

Making an Instant Impression on Dating Apps

Nowadays, all first impressions are made through a touchscreen. The popularity of dating apps like Bumble, Tinder, and Match has put the pressure on men to showcase their best fashion via dating profile. Those who step up their style game in their photos have the highest success rate in sparking conversations that eventually lead to first dates, but don't go pulling out your finest threads from the closet and setting up a photoshoot right away.

You must learn the dos and don'ts of dressing for your social dating profile. To guide you on the right path, we got Damona Hoffman, Match dating expert and host of the Dates & Mates Podcast, to break it all down in her own words. Follow suit, gents!

Dos

Dressing Down Everyone is trying so hard to look like they’re not trying too hard that they end up looking like they don’t even care. Yes, you want your profile to be a real reflection of who you are, but you should look like the best representation of yourself, just as you would on a date. 

The Right Fit You don’t need to have a shirtless bathroom selfie However, you should have clothes that give a sense of your body type and fit appropriately. If you’re not sure what your best size and fit is, many department stores and clothing chains have personal shoppers and stylists that you can book appointments with for free, so don’t be afraid to ask for help. Also, remember that few people can wear clothes right off the rack. Take advantage of their in-house tailoring as well to make sure you get the perfect fit for you.

Wearing Sunglasses Sunglasses are a big mistake in your profile. First, she needs to see what your face looks like. Second, she needs to trust you to go on a date with you. Wearing glasses not only makes it seem like you’re hiding something but it also hides your face so you achieve neither goal.

Wrinkles Depending on lighting, wrinkles in a profile shot can be even more apparent than IRL. Looking like you just rolled out of bed and couldn’t be bothered to iron is one-way ticket to a left swipe.

Don'ts

Same Shirt, Same Style We know men fall in love with a color or style of shirt and then buy an entire wardrobe of the same style but try to vary it up in your profile. Your profile should show different kinds of looks that plant the idea for different kinds of dates with you. Each picture should give her a deeper understanding of who you are and what you look like or it doesn’t belong in your profile.

Stopping at the Shoes Women love shoes, so I’ll never understand why men will dress to the nines and then wear raggedy, beat up, dirty old shoes with their clean new look. You have to consider your outfit from head to toe and have shoes that represent you well.

The Plain White T For years, I’ve coached my clients to follow my 3 C’s rule of profile photos. The first C is for color. If you dress in bold colors, you’re more likely to catch her attention. Research indicates that red is the most eye-catching color – we immediately stop just like we would if we saw a red light on the road. Instead of the plain white T, go for the red t-shirt instead to turn more heads.

What Does Your Shirt Say? T-shirts with slogans or large designer logos risk turning off more women than they turn on. Be mindful of what your shirt says about you before you even open your mouth. 

from Style channel http://www.askmen.com/style/fashion_advice/what-to-wear-on-a-first-date.html