#also this is where the ssssmut is at
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The Shadows in her Reflection: Sokkla Saturdays 2023
Day 4: Summer
Rated: M
On FF.net//On AO3
"He ran off with her?! He… he wasn't her prisoner but her ally all along?!"
Zuko's temper flared at any given trigger, but Azula tended to be the worst of them all. Now, though, he was presented with a new challenge in the form of learning that Azula apparently had more unexpected support than ever before, in any of their clashes: it appeared that Sokka had revealed to Kuei that he had run off willingly with Azula from the very start…
And they had escaped together now, again, according to the guards who had found Azula's cell door had been busted. Zuko had no idea where they'd gone or why, exactly, they were running together in the first place. He had sent his guards to search for them, as had Kuei, but who knew if they'd come by any clues or not…
"I cannot understand it any more than you do! She has poisoned his mind somehow, manipulated him into thinking ill of his past allies, like me!" Kuei squealed. "I… I bet she seduced him! Women like her cannot be trusted to be above such practices…!"
"She… huh?! You're talking about my sister here!" Zuko seemed to be on the verge of throwing up at the very notion that whatever connection existed between his sister and his friend might be of a carnal nature… "She doesn't need to sleep with anyone to have her way!"
"But I bet it wouldn't hurt much, you know? If she did," Toph interjected, carelessly.
Zuko shot her a confused stare. She smiled at him, sensing she had his attention. They were still sitting in a Palace living room. Zuko's forces had already taken off to canvass the city's outskirts while Kuei's soldiers searched inside Ba Sing Se, looking for any tracks or signs of where Azula and Sokka had run to after breaking out of prison. But Toph betrayed no eagerness to track them down… something that hadn't truly sunken in on Zuko so far.
"I know you love making fun of me, Toph, but maybe it's not the right time for it right now," he said, shaking his head. "Azula isn't that kind of person, and I'd love to think Sokka wouldn't get swept up in something like that… I mean, isn't he with Suki?"
"Sounds like he's not, actually," Toph said. Zuko's eyes widened. "When we talked, it sounded like that's over. I figured he was cheating on her with Azula at first too, you know…"
"W-why would you…?! Hell, what's the matter with all of you?!" Zuko winced, glaring at Kuei too. "Azula doesn't think with… her loins? Ugh! I don't even want to think of it! Stop bringing that up, it makes me sick!"
"Oh, come on, Sparky… you don't have to be so prudish. Would it bug you that much if I told you that I'd gladly go wild on you if I had the chance?"
Both Zuko and Kuei froze on the spot. Toph smirked, hands behind her head: she was definitely making progress here. Enough progress to hopefully secure an escape for those two…
"T-the hell?" Zuko said: his heart was pounding. Oh, she almost felt bad for this, but it was even endearing to find the Fire Lord would get nervous that way over being at the receiving end of shameless, bold flirting.
"What'd you mean, 'the hell'? Aren't you supposed to be a catch?" Toph smiled. "I'd like to know why! And as I can't even see if you're handsome, whatever that even amounts to, to begin with, might as well just figure out why you're appealing the only way I can, right?"
"Y-you…! What? Toph…!"
"You, uh, could leave that odd flirting for later, couldn't you?" asked Kuei, clearly off-put by the conversation topic. Zuko's face couldn't have been redder.
"Why? Prude King," Toph smirked. "Big deal, if I want to bang my friend…"
"You don't! S-stop saying that! You're just trying to embarrass me!" Zuko exclaimed, a hand up his forehead: Toph's laughter certainly didn't help dissuade him from his convictions that she was merely teasing him. "Ugh! Back to the subject! How did they get out in the first place?!"
"Why, I wish I knew. He must have had some strange invention on him…" said Kuei, scowling. "Something with which he melted the door's lock from the outside, but… it's strange. They checked him thoroughly, and while he was wearing some Dai Li uniform that was entirely out of place, he wasn't concealing any secret weapons or so. I don't know…"
"Wait. The door's lock?" Zuko said, brow furrowing. "It was… tampered with? Damaged?"
"It was, indeed," Kuei said. "I… I'll go check out if anyone has any new leads, if you'd like. I never meant to lose her, but at this point…! Well, I'll make sure to catch her before she slips out of the city, promised thing!"
Zuko's eyebrow twitched, but he nodded at Kuei: something had changed in him. Something dark, and swirling, and…
And that he meant to unleash upon his friend, once Kuei had left the room.
"Toph…" he said, with a fist tight, as he stepped close to her. She bit her lip. "The lock was… busted?"
"You know… I've held a torch for you since we were kids," Toph started saying, toying with a strand of her hair carelessly. Zuko's face contorted with frustration and outrage. "I don't know what it was, maybe the sound of your voice, or…"
"Toph! Did you break her out yourself?!"
Toph bit her lip… before nodding, a wicked smirk across her features. Zuko's jaw dropped.
"Why? Why?! Toph…!"
"I'll explain one day, maybe, but for now… you have your hands full trying to catch them as it is, don't you? What does it matter, why I did it or why I didn't…?"
"It's bad enough for Sokka to be in her pocket! You too?!" Zuko exclaimed, striking the wall right beside Toph with a spread palm. He glared at her closely, and she didn't even flinch.
"You know… this is how they started out, too," Toph smirked. "I helped him, even then. Pinned her to a wall for him, so he could get all close and personal with her, in the tunnels during the Invasion… nice of you to do the same thing. Here I thought I was the only one interested, but I guess I'm not."
Zuko gritted his teeth: he impulsively wanted to pull back, just to flee from her wild accusations or claims… but he couldn't afford to stop challenging her this time. Instead, he leaned closer still, as though to call her bluff – and perhaps it really was one, because she seemed slightly uncomfortable when he failed to run away bashfully, for once, before speaking with a deep, stern, authoritarian voice:
"Why did you do it… and where the hell did they go, Toph? Where the blazes is my sister?"
Toph breathed deeply: disquieting as his stubbornness might be, she didn't back down from challenges, not without issuing one of her own.
"Just what are you willing to do to find out, Zuko?"
___________________
Fleeing from Fire Nation soldiers certainly was something Sokka and Azula had in common, even if they'd never done it together: she used to be the one hunting him, back in the days of the war, and then she was the one who fled from her brother's forces, after the war ended…
Winding up dangling on a rope, under a bridge, holding onto Sokka for dear life as the troops struggled to find them, on the suspended bridge over a tall cliff, came as a surprise even when their circumstances had changed as much as they had recently. After going on the road again, bereft of the hot-air balloon they hadn't had the chance to retrieve, the pair were left with no choice but to run on foot… and that meant dodging and avoiding patrols from either the Earth Kingdom or the Fire Nation. This time, it was the latter.
"Where did they go?! They came right here!" screamed one of the soldiers, stomping on the bridge: it shifted, and Azula gritted her teeth as she pressed tighter to Sokka still: if they fell, they'd fall together. He was holding her firmly with one arm as the other grabbed the rope, which he had fastened over his wrist multiple times. It would hurt to hold their weight for that long… but the bastards had to leave soon. They had to go. They wouldn't stay on the bridge forever…
"Maybe they jumped, sir?" suggested a nervous soldier.
"Into the river, from this distance?" asked the leader: he scowled as he scrutinized the stream, so far away, so far below them… there was no sign of the people they were hunting there.
He snarled, shaking his head: it was their only lead. Maybe the river moved faster than it looked.
"Let's go! Follow the river, then!"
Azula gritted her teeth, remaining as quiet as possible as the bridge creaked under the heavy footsteps of all their pursuers. Sokka breathed deeply, waiting patiently even after they left… the bridge was broad enough that they hadn't been seen, but if they climbed out right away and any of the soldiers dared glance back at them, things would likely turn out a lot more unpleasant than they already were…
He glanced down at Azula, offering her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. She didn't grin back, though her eyes were aglow with unspoken gratitude for his quick plan: she had no idea what he was doing when he pulled out that rope, but when he told her to trust him and gripped her tightly, she hadn't hesitated to do that.
Trust… it was so strange, finding someone she actually trusted now. The feeling was foreign, but greatly welcome, nonetheless. It truly surprised her how clearer everything became, how much smoother… how she hardly felt out of place in the world as long as someone actually wanted her to be part of it, as Sokka did.
"Guess that worked?" Sokka said. Azula swallowed hard and nodded, though she angled her head away from his: the temptation to kiss him would arise again if she stared at his damn handsome face for a moment longer.
"You're resourceful, that much is true," Azula said. "Weird, truly, to be hunted by the Fire Nation along with someone else with that much experience fleeing from them…"
"Used to flee from you. And Zuko," Sokka said, with a weak grin. "I don't mind running from him still… but I won't run from you. Not anymore."
Azula couldn't hold back a small smile, even if it faded quickly: the weight of the mirror in her pocket spoke for itself. Sokka ought to know better than to flirt with her at all, but the jerk never seemed to stop… and he did it in such a good-mannered way that she couldn't help but be drawn in. If he were mischievous, she wouldn't feel any less appealed… but she gravitated towards his kindness, even if she hardly felt worthy of it. If she dared act on her impulses, she'd fully prove she wasn't, too.
"Should we…?" Azula asked, jerking her head at the bridge. Sokka nodded.
"They should be too far to see us now," he said.
He helped Azula climb back on the bridge, a slightly awkward process in which she used his boomerang to reach the edge of the bridge and balance herself on it to climb up. Then, she reached out for Sokka, and she clasped his hand firmly as she pulled him up too. Within moments, Sokka undid the strong knots on the rope that had ensured their survival and they rushed away anew, in the opposite direction from the soldiers had disappeared through.
They found a cave to rest in after another half hour, but they had plenty to discuss, this time around.
"As much as I enjoy dangling on bridges with you, we have to make up our minds about where we're going," Sokka said. "And how we're getting there. What's next for Yue? What does she want us to do?"
"Didn't we agree that you would be the one to choose this time?" Azula pointed out. Sokka's eyes widened.
"Oh, uh… right. Well, anything that's fine with her is fine with me," Sokka concluded, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "Can't really say I have huge plans on where to go right now, so… unless she chooses something I really don't like this time, anything's good."
"If you say so…" Azula said, pulling up the mirror. Yue smiled warmly at her, and Azula raised an eyebrow. "What's next on the wish list, then? Got anything in mind?"
"Huh… well, Ba Sing Se was fun," Yue started, and Azula scoffed at the notion.
"Define 'fun,' if you please…"
"But I guess it might be a good idea to go elsewhere now. I did want to see the seasons, and we saw spring, so… the next one is summer!"
"Yue, you can't just force the seasons to happen whenever you want them to," Azula sighed. "It's still about a month before summer starts in the south. And frankly, we're going to be hounded and hunted in the Earth Kingdom far more persistently now. Might be better to go elsewhere."
"Wait… she wants to see summer?" Sokka asked, raising his eyebrows. "Well, that's doable."
"What?" Azula eyed him skeptically.
"There's this tropical nation I know about, you know? Where it's basically summer all year long?" Sokka asked, with a smirk.
Azula's eyes widened. She scoffed, shaking her head.
"Yue's been in the Fire Nation before. That's where she first latched onto me, remember?"
"But you were on the run. I didn't get to see all the sights!"
"Oh, so now we're picky, are we?" Azula scoffed. Yue giggled.
"I want to see more of your nation. Sokka is right, it's the land of summer! So… take me to the beach!"
"The beach?" Azula repeated, with a heavy sigh. "You're whimsical, that's for sure. As royal as can be, making that kind of request…"
"Ember Island had some really good beaches," Sokka reasoned, tapping the stubble on his chin. Azula winced.
"Ember Island?" she repeated. "It's also a great place to fuck with someone's head."
"You've been a frequent visitor, I take it?" Sokka asked. Azula scoffed.
"Unfortunately," she said. "My parents brought me there constantly when I was a child…"
"Oh, yeah. Zuko mentioned! I actually stayed in that house of yours, back in the times of the war?" Sokka said. "Zuko's done some repairs, I think. Might not be all complete yet, but it's probably looking better than whatever you remember of it."
"I'd gladly remember nothing of it," Azula sighed. "It can be worse to think of easier times. Can't help but wonder where I went wrong back when I was younger, you know? If I did anything so stupid as a child that it resulted in… well, every member of my family despising me. Maybe I'm just overthinking it, though. Must be the things I did later…"
"Well… your father's a piece of shit," Sokka said. Azula winced upon hearing him say so. "So, I doubt you're to blame for how he treated you."
"He praised and doted on me. Believed I was fated for greatness," Azula said. Sokka sighed.
"Maybe you are. Just… not the greatness he put into your head," he said.
"I doubt he was right about it anyway," Azula said, shaking her head. "If any of this is fate… maybe I'm just fated to be a mess."
"You're not that much of one, even if you try to convince yourself otherwise," Sokka said, with a gentle smile.
Azula scoffed: she shook her head carelessly, at first just to refuse his words… then, to make her hair a chaotic disaster, standing in wild directions, strands flying back and forth. Then, she stared at the amused Sokka matter-of-factly.
"Convinced yet?" she asked. He laughed, shaking his head.
She had only been teasing him, but she wound up smiling regardless. She looked at the mirror again, set on the floor as it was, and Yue giggled at the sight of her unkempt hair.
"It's not that bad, now, is it, Yue?" Azula asked.
"You look funny."
"Funny? Well, that's just offensive," Azula said, with a scoff.
"I… never really did anything like that. You know, just… loosening up my hair to see what it was like."
"Ah, well, I recommend it," Azula said. "Nothing better to convince your advocates that they're betting on the wrong ostrich horse than having a bad hair day. Not that Sokka would know anything about that, feels like he doesn't have any bad hair days…"
"You'd be shocked," Sokka smiled. Azula scoffed, looking at him derisively. "For real!"
"Nonsense. Yue and I, we understand each other in that respect. You have no say upon the matter," she declared, haughtily. Sokka chuckled and shook his head again.
"Maybe… I could try it?"
Azula blinked blankly before Yue bit her lip, raising a hand towards the adornments of her hair. A fair amount of it was loose… but not all of it. Twin braids ran together down either side of her face, and there was a complicated accessory that held it together in two different branches right at the back…
She started loosening everything, undoing every tangle of hair, an eager look on her face as her white hair slowly unfurled. Azula smirked at the sight of it, watching intently as Yue struggled with the trickier tangles… until, at last, all her white hair – and there was a lot of it – fell in careless waves around her face.
"There!" she said, enthusiastically. Azula chuckled.
"Mess it now. Shake your head like there's no tomorrow!" she said. Yue bit her lip, a giggle slipping past her lips before she followed Azula's suggestion.
The result had both Azula and Yue laughing at the chaos of unruly hair. Neither one was more presentable than the other… a notion entirely wild and foreign for the two princesses.
"Looks better on you than on me. See? Why be the perfect Moon Spirit when you can be a messy one instead?" Azula smiled. Yue giggled, running a hand through her tresses.
"It's going to be difficult to put it back together," she confessed. "But that was fun. Do you… mess your hair often?"
"I try not to. It becomes unruly too quickly," Azula said, running a hand over her hair to tame it too.
"Well… we have one more thing in common, then. The messy-haired royals," Yue giggled. Azula smiled.
"The Royally Unkempt," she concluded, and Yue burst out with laughter. "Fitting, truly… save for him. Curses, Sokka, you just sabotage all our team-naming efforts, you…"
He smiled at her with a fondness that caught Azula off guard. A part of her welcomed being watched with such warmth… just as she felt terribly self-aware about it, while Yue was right there.
"What?" Azula mouthed at him. Sokka shrugged.
"I don't know. I guess… I'm just happy to see you two are good friends," he said. Azula's eyes widened, and Yue grinned brightly in the mirror.
"I'm happy for it too. I… I don't think I'd ever had a female friend like this before."
"Well, you'd never had a friend to communicate with through mirrors or reflective surfaces, so that's for sure," Azula said, matter-of-factly… but she frowned at Yue anyway. "But… you didn't have friends, in the Northern Water Tribe?"
"I'm afraid I was a little isolated. Princess, after all… I didn't go to school like other kids my age. I barely knew any of them."
Azula frowned upon hearing those words. She ran her hand over her hair once more, an uncanny urge to reach trough the mirror to comfort the other royal suddenly blooming in her heart.
"Guess… guess we have more in common than we thought. Though I did have friends… just, not very good ones," Azula said, with a lop-sided smirk. "Then again, they'd say the same thing right back at me, but what can you do. I always did feel isolated as well. And after everything fell apart, well… it was as though I'd been alone all my life. Maybe… you felt that way, too?"
"A little. Memories helped, at times, but… being the Moon Spirit is lonely."
Azula grimaced: for once, the thought that Yue might have reached out desperately, as good throwing a line into the sea in the hopes of finding someone, anyone to talk to, crossed her mind. Was that, maybe, why she was so good-natured? Why she constantly seemed impressed by Azula? Had she latched onto her for greater reasons than the apparent…?
"Well… you're stuck with me now," Azula said, with a small smile. "For better or for worse, you're not alone anymore."
Her words struck Sokka deeply: not only because of Yue's loneliness, which he certainly felt no small amounts of guilt over, even if he hoped he and Azula might have helped Yue stem the feeling lately… but because the Fire Nation Princess had experienced no shortage of loneliness. Yet, precisely because she had, she was finally finding it in her to relate to Yue… wanting to do right by her. To help her fight her loneliness, and perhaps, find a solution for her own in the process, too.
"And what's the matter with you?"
Sokka winced: he dabbed at the tear that slipped past his eyes and he laughed, shaking his head.
"Nothing. I'm fine, I'm fine…"
"Is it so moving to see my hair being such a weird, wild mess?" Azula asked, shaking her head carelessly again – Yue laughed at her behavior, and Sokka rolled his eyes before shaking his head.
"You know what? You've asked for it. I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry, Yue! You'll be messy haired buddies again later, but right now…"
Yue hummed in surprise as Azula winced at Sokka's words: he pulled a brush out of his pack, and he approached her with a wicked smirk.
"Time to style your hair again, silly. Come on."
She sighed, letting him get away with that for the second time. Yue had a perfect view of the process, chuckling as Azula groaned over how much of a worrywart and a party-pooper Sokka dared be… but instead of focusing solely on that, she turned her attention to what actually mattered:
"Are you two sure you want to go to Ember Island?" she asked.
"I wouldn't say I'm sure-sure, but… you did say it was my turn to choose. So that'd be my pick, if Yue's happy with it," Sokka grinned carelessly. Azula sighed.
"Annoying. I hope you're not just expecting to… uh, perv out at random girls in swimsuits."
"Pfft! I'm a gentleman! I wouldn't do that!" he squeaked.
"He's lying, Yue. He's totally going to do exactly that," Azula smirked.
"Hey!"
Yue laughed, covering her mouth with a hand. Azula smiled warmly at her, but her grin receded when the Moon Spirit countered with a rather surprising statement.
"Maybe he's telling a half-truth… maybe he won't do it over every girl, but he might just do it over you!"
"He… what?! Don't say that!" Azula winced: she hated to see herself blushing as Yue giggled in the mirror.
"You are very beautiful. He'd have to be blind not to see it… and it's his friend who's blind, not him, right?"
"I… don't understand what's gotten into you," Azula said, bashfully: Sokka was almost done taming her hair by then.
"Is she saying you're the one who'll perv out at people in swimsuits, or…?"
His guess earned him an elbow to the ribs, but he rolled with laughter on the floor after taking the blow, nonetheless.
"Idiot. You're both weird," Azula growled, cheeks alight with embarrassment. "And I'd elbow your ribs too, Yue, but… you know. I can't physically. Just imagine the pain and live with the shame."
"Oh, I'll try," Yue laughed, nodding promptly.
"This being said… while it's summer all year long in the Fire Nation, it's going to be difficult to get there," Azula pointed out.
"Well, it wouldn't be easy, no… but there's a good reason to go right now. If Zuko could send his troops to hunt us as fast as that, doesn't that mean he's around here lately?" Sokka said. Azula raised an eyebrow.
"He… was in Ba Sing Se?" Azula said. "Huh. Then, if he's here… we have the way clear to the Fire Nation, at least, for a while. Ember Island isn't my usual area of operations, it might not be as protected as other cities…"
"See? It's not that bad if we're careful," Sokka grinned.
"We're not returning to the city to get the hot-air balloon, are we?" Azula asked.
"Oh, no. Too risky. Just as it was risky to fly out on it, they might have taken us down if they were watching for us by the walls," Sokka said. Azula sighed.
"Then what are we going to do? Do you have custody over the shaggy beast anytime soon?" she asked. Sokka snorted.
"That's not how that works, so no. But… hot-air balloons, you say?"
"We can't get it back and stealing another one's going to be…"
"I didn't say anything about stealing."
Azula frowned. Sokka smiled as he sat up, a proud smirk spreading over his face – Azula's damn stomach somersaulted over that confident expression on his features.
"I know a guy," he said, proudly.
"Again? Who?" Azula raised an eyebrow.
"Literally, the inventor of the balloons. If you'd like to know… I actually had a hand in their development and design, back in the days of the war."
"You… you're pulling my hair," Azula smiled.
"I'm done brushing it, so clearly, I'm not pulling it anymore," Sokka smirked. Azula rolled her eyes, but she failed to contain a chuckle. "Heh. You laughed."
"Fuck off," was her eloquent response, to which he laughed even harder. "You're serious? You can get us a hot-air balloon?"
"Problem is they'll know where we're going even if I do get it," Sokka reasoned, frowning. "We're close to where he lives these days, after he left the Northern Air Temple. I could go there, ask for a balloon, he most likely will give me one to borrow… and then we'll be very easy to track for your brother's forces."
"Not necessarily," Azula reasoned, raising an eyebrow. "Not if we… split up."
"What?" Sokka winced, his amusement receding.
"Just for a few days. Goodness, you're that worried about not being near me nowadays? That's terribly clingy of you," Azula smirked. "I could misdirect them away from you and the inventor. The Mechanist, right? Same one who made the Drill…"
"That's the guy," Sokka confirmed.
"If I flashily use my blue fire to lure them southeast… you can collect that balloon, then snatch me up one night, maybe, around the Fighting Cliffs," Azula said. "You know, the mountains right below Ba Sing Se? If we time it right, if you don't even land, they shouldn't notice the balloon at all and they won't know where we went. Will take a while for them to realize what we're doing… and if we need supplies, be it coal or food, we'll be free to land to get them once we're far away from Ba Sing Se. At least, far enough that word wouldn't travel quickly to Zuko and Kuei even if someone recognizes either of us all the way over there."
"That's… a good plan," Sokka said, begrudgingly. "But I would rather not leave you anyway."
"Don't be so silly," Azula smiled at him. "You'll be stuck with me in a balloon for weeks afterwards. Take this as a well-deserved respite from me."
What she didn't know was that Sokka actually didn't want a break from her at all… a notion that caught him by surprise as she continued lining out their plans. The urge to take her hand and not let it go should not have been so overwhelming… but it was, somehow. He had to put his everything into not telling her as much, into not acting on that impulse, as he agreed to her strategies.
Thus, a few hours later, she took off carelessly, carrying her pack, undoubtedly ready to bring about as much attention to herself as possible. Sokka sighed as he watched her leave, a burst of loneliness striking him so abruptly… since when was he so prone to missing people's company? Or was it just… her?
He shook his head and set out to the Mechanist's new home: the sooner he arrived, the faster he would be back with Azula.
The jolly inventor welcomed him gratefully into the small town he had taken residence at, and he provided him with supplies and a stylish hot-air balloon, with the latest upgrades to its design. Sokka offered him no end of gratitude before climbing aboard, relieved to sort out that predicament quickly enough. The plan was proceeding perfectly smoothly for him… and after three days apart from Azula, which was how long it had taken him to reach the Mechanist's home, he was more than ready to come find her.
He succeeded a day and a half later: by nightfall, he steered the hot-air balloon to one of the tallest peaks of the Fighting Cliffs to find Azula resting there, holding the mirror in one hand. Sokka smiled fondly at her before loosening his rope, lightly brushing it over her face until the discomfort caused her to snap awake, scowling…
Her eyes brightened visibly once she saw Sokka had returned.
"Been a while," Sokka smiled. "Ready?"
She couldn't help but grin too as she handed him her bags, first: he opened the balloon's basket, reaching down to hoist Azula aboard without landing at all, just as planned.
"Everything went swimmingly, I take it?" Azula asked: she hadn't let go of his hand yet after boarding, and that didn't bother him one bit. "This balloon is… nice, actually. More spacious, too."
"A new model," Sokka grinned. "More aerodynamic, from what he told me. We'll get there in no time."
"Then… go on and dazzle us with your piloting skills, why don't you?" Azula smiled: she set the mirror up on one of the available seats, as she sat down as well, and Yue smiled eagerly at the grand hot-air balloon… at the chance to see Sokka at work, handling the vehicle expertly once more.
The journey was faster this time, as they had enough supplies not to need to land at all until they reached Ember Island. Their time aloft in the sky proved amenable too, as they talked about just anything and everything, sharing stories about the war that startled and amazed Yue alike. Their strange journey, and the banter they shared, was proving enough to bring Azula to smile more honestly, more earnestly, than she had in years.
She'd sleep while cradling the mirror sometimes, and she even dozed off with her head on Sokka's lap once, the mirror resting on her chest. It almost felt as though the two girls were asleep… and it warmed Sokka's heart to feel the connection between them growing stronger than ever. Where Azula had been openly hostile and reluctant to host Yue at all, at first… by now, he had no doubts she had grown to fully, earnestly cherish her connection to the Moon Spirit. Instead of Azula being an outsider, in between him and Yue when she didn't belong there, now it was Sokka, instead, who appeared to be the odd one out…
And he actually kind of liked that.
He couldn't truly communicate with Yue, even if she could hear him and see him, as long as he was within her reflection's line of sight. But the more time went on, the less he longed to speak with her directly, to interact with her as Azula did… because Azula was there. That was Azula's role. Yue had never had friends before… not truly, not the way she did now, with Azula. He didn't want to be the only important, valuable person in Yue's life… and the more he grew to treasure Azula, the more he hoped she would be even more important for the Northern Water Tribe Princess than he ever had been. The two of them were so different, starkly so… but he had the feeling that Yue's influence on Azula was even more powerful than his own could ever hope to be. She inspired Azula to do better, to be better… to find joy and bliss in the simplest pleasures of life. Instead of locking her up, instead of hounding her and chasing her down… maybe that was what Azula needed, instead. A friend who would show her there was so much more worth in living life freely than by serving some old fart's wretched designs for nationalism, social superiority and Fire Nation control over the entire world.
Perhaps she'd go back to old habits once they reached her homeland, Sokka figured… but as they began their descent on Ember Island, a week later, the Princess's demeanor didn't change in any worrisome manner as she eyed the island with uncertainty.
"Is it…?" she started, running a hand over her hair. "What day is it, Sokka?"
"Uh, I've kind of lost track of time, so… no real clue," he smiled awkwardly.
"I think… we've arrived at a strange time in this damn island. I don't think I've ever been here for this before," Azula said, eyeing the place with uncertainty.
"It looks like… there's a procession across the streets? A celebration?" Sokka asked, intrigued. "What's that about?"
"It's… a celebration, yes," Azula said, tense. "A slightly less dignified one than most of what you might have heard about in the Fire Nation, though."
"What?" Sokka asked, amused. "That sounds dangerous… or amusing."
"Might be both," Azula said, with a dry grin. "It's a yearly tradition, particularly noisy and messy, in Ember Island. Lots of drinking, lots of gambling, firebending accidents…"
"What? What are they celebrating, exactly?" Sokka asked, confused.
"Uh, well, the technical, traditional explanation is found in the legend of the volcano from which the Fire Nation spawned?" Azula said, biting her lip. "And of course, Ember Island has a small volcano around which people convene, firebenders launch fire into the dormant volcano, as a manner of tribute to the land for giving us everything it has. It's… a celebration of life, you could call it?"
"Heh. Sounds fun," Sokka smiled. Azula bit her lip.
"Of course, well, celebrations of life tend to be a little… peculiar," she said. Sokka crooked an eyebrow. "By which I mean, well, people aren't simply going to chant songs and run around the island happily, they're going to, uh…"
"To…?"
"Create more life?"
Sokka's eyes widened. Azula's cheeks flushed.
"… This is a fertility festival," he concluded. Azula gritted her teeth.
"You know, we could always turn back," she suggested, with a dry grin. "Go to another island, where they don't celebrate this at all, and come back in a couple of days instead. That might just be…"
"I want to see it!"
Yue's sudden declaration caused Azula to wince and snarl. She turned towards the mirror, finding the eagerly smiling teenage princess closer to the mirror than ever before…
"It sounds like such a lively event!"
"Yue, half the people are going to be drunk, and the other half will be horny, some will very much be both things at once. I don't think you…"
"Well, it's still early. We can see everything before it comes to that!" Yue beamed. Azula huffed, and Sokka chuckled.
"The Water Tribes have some rites of this nature, you know? But probably none like this," he said, patting Azula's back. "Can't blame Yue for wanting to see it. I'm a little curious, myself. You and your people always prided yourselves on being oh so advanced and modern…"
"Well, I'm afraid we're not quite so modern yet that we'd know how to procreate with anything but sex," Azula said, cheeks flushing upon speaking of the subject as she did. Sokka laughed. "Either way, if you two are quite sure about what you want, fine. But… be careful, Sokka. Desperate girls might throw themselves at you if you're not."
"No worries, I'll just… stick with you," Sokka smiled. Azula blushed. "If anyone tries, I'll just say I'm with you and they'll back off."
"Hopefully," Azula said, cheeks red: it wasn't a lie, he truly had come with her… but evidently, he'd say the words to imply there was a relationship between them that didn't actually exist. As far as she knew.
She glanced at Yue in the mirror, finding her grinning eagerly. Azula swallowed hard: she wasn't about to do something stupid that could hurt the girl. And she wouldn't let Sokka do that, either. They'd be distant witnesses to the damn festival, that was that.
After safely tucking their balloon away in the Royal Family's private beach, they left their luggage in the house that, to Azula's surprise, appeared to be far more livable than it had been in her last visit. They cleaned up after the long journey, changing into fresh and light clothes, and they took off together to check out the sights in the island while showing as much of it as they could to the eager, delighted Yue.
The warm weather didn't disappoint, for they were drenched in sweat simply by walking down the streets. That moist heat of summer always compelled Azula to wish she could jump into the water, hoping the sea would ease the high temperatures slightly. The tall palm trees, the chirping of insects… she described that which Yue couldn't see or hear, while showing her as much of the colorful island to the Moon Spirit as possible through the limitations of the mirror.
They were immediately assailed by the salesmen from the stalls once they entered Ember Island's main streets, most of whom were eager to sell aphrodisiacs or even accessories for sexual purposes, most of which Azula didn't even dare guess the use of. She clasped Sokka's arm, reassuringly smiling at the sellers that they were just sightseeing, and she dragged him away quickly before he got any wild ideas in his head about any of the lotions, oils or harnesses some of those stalls were eager to sell to shameless customers.
"This is unreal. I'd heard it was messed up, but… it's weirder than I thought," Azula said. Sokka chuckled.
"I can't help but think it's kind of funny. I thought your people were very repressed about a lot of things… but not this, sounds like," he said.
"Honestly? This festival wasn't banned because it had a purpose in the times of the war: if you make your people procreate more, you get more soldiers to send out to war. It's bound to be the only reason why my forefathers didn't outlaw it as a crime against public order and morals," Azula explained, glancing about herself. "But… actually, there ought to be one area that's not so raunchy!"
She dragged Sokka eagerly in that direction to find foods that weren't being advertised for their sexual potential: there was even a small puppet play, where the children could witness the story of the volcano without any implications regarding how most fully-grown people actually celebrated this strange festival. They found something to eat there, and they rejoiced far more in the family-friendly activities than in looking for anything strange to spice up the bedroom life they didn't actually have.
But there was one particular stall that caught Azula's eye once they paced through less busy streets, by midafternoon. A woman in perfectly sober, proper clothes, sat with a disgruntled expression in a stall that nobody appeared to want to approach: 'Public Morals Protection Stall.'
"You! You two! Come, come, come quickly!" the woman exclaimed, startling them once she noticed they were staring.
"Uh… what's this?" Sokka smiled awkwardly as he obeyed her command.
The woman didn't answer him: instead, she stuffed his hands with a surprising assortment of objects with purposes he couldn't even fathom.
"At the very least, you two shall be safe!" the woman almost squealed, startling Azula with her passionate declaration. "Safe intercourse is possible! But these imbeciles…!"
"W-wait… safe? What do you mean by that?" Azula smiled awkwardly.
"I mean your husband there is holding a good assortment of measures to prevent pregnancy and diseases when you happen to copulate," the woman said: both Azula and Sokka winced upon hearing her declaration.
"W-wait, we're not… I mean, we're not exactly married?" Sokka said, with a weak smile. The woman yelped.
"All the more reason for you to use them!"
"What?!"
"If you're not married you should not be procreating and having children yet! Get married before you even start! Don't be like the rest of these fools who… who just keep making sure that this island thrives in countless, thousands, millions of babies...!"
"I'm quite sure there can't even be a million people living in this island, let alone a million babies…"
"There will be soon, when these fools have their way!" the woman exclaimed, shaking her head. "You have no idea how many girls will turn up two months from now in the sanatorium, having broken up with their mediocre boyfriends, begging for help with… well, reversing pregnancy."
"Oh," Sokka said, eyes wide.
"And do you even realize that the most common months for children to be born in our island are the tenth and eleventh months?! It's like a perpetual birthday celebration in every family!" the woman exclaimed, exasperated. "Care to guess why?"
"Because… this is the second month, and everyone procreates around the time of the festival?" Sokka smiled awkwardly.
"A smart lad indeed! See, you'll use protection for sure, yes you will!" the woman exclaimed, finally smiling proudly at him. Sokka's cheeks couldn't have been redder.
Then, she proceeded to explain the use of each of the objects and gadgets she'd given Sokka, including a manner of thin membranes he would be expected to wrap around his manhood, fruits that could affect male sperm and render its components temporarily inert, as well as seeds Azula would be expected to eat, or boil into tea, to prevent herself from conceiving any children. A few of the products were medicine in case of infections or diseases caught after the fact, too. The woman was delighted to hand them everything she did, free of charge, no doubt desperate to spread awareness to the rest of the island that there were far more responsible ways to indulge in their fun… but unfortunately, it looked like only a handful of people were willing to listen.
Sokka and Azula ambled out of that particular street five minutes later, winding up taking a corner quickly and hiding there with their load of new goods. They glanced at each other in surreal disbelief… and then they burst out laughing. Azula supported herself on his arm, as Sokka rested against the wall of a building, tears blinking in the corners of his eyes.
"That poor woman…!" he said.
"Let's hope her wisdom spreads one day… but with this kind of reckless crowd, I wouldn't bet my money on that," Azula said, wiping the tears in her own, too.
"Say… the stalls are pretty fun, but maybe we should do what we came here for," Sokka smiled, nudging Azula's pocket: Yue's mirror rested there. "Didn't she say she wanted to go to the beach?"
"Well, she did, but… I'm not exactly dressed for it, am I?" Azula said, tugging at her Earth Kingdom clothes. Sokka smirked.
"We can buy some new clothes for it now! There's stalls for that, too!" he exclaimed. Azula sighed.
"You love shopping far too much for your own good," Azula determined. Sokka snickered, leading her back into the streets.
An hour later, they had returned to the house with the results of that day's outing. They left their haul of equipment for responsible sex on a table by the living room, and they changed out of their casual Earth Kingdom clothes into classic Fire Nation garb. It struck Azula how long she had gone without wearing anything quite as bold as a swimsuit… all her last Fire Nation attires had been sober and formal, or combat-oriented. There was a tall mirror within the bathroom where she changed, and she blushed slightly upon realizing that a sneaky Moon Spirit was glancing at her with appreciative, raised eyebrows.
"Is it too bold?" Azula asked Yue, her voice deadpan and dry. Yue bit her lip, failing to stifle a mischievous smile.
"Bolder than anything you've worn around me. But you look amazing!" she exclaimed, beaming. "You really are beautiful, Azula."
"I don't feel beautiful, most days," Azula sighed, running her hand over her hair… finding she might actually not be so hard to convince of that right now. Staring at herself just now wasn't as unnerving, unpleasant, as it typically was…
Was she finding some peace with herself? Some manner of tranquility she hadn't really experienced for years, if ever before? It was still difficult to fathom thinking of herself as beautiful… but she'd have to try. At least, Sokka and Yue appeared to be visually impaired enough to think so…
"Are you okay with this?" Azula asked Yue. "I mean… me being around the guy you like, dressed like this? Or, uh, undressed, because honestly it almost feels like I'm not wearing anything, in this thing…"
"Why… I don't have anything to worry about," Yue smiled warmly. "I'm sure he'll be happy to see you enjoying yourself in the beach too!"
"Uh… hopefully. Maybe," Azula said, swallowing hard and breathing out heavily. "Okay, then. Fine. If he ends up being a perv and a creep or so, you'll have yourself to blame for pushing me at him."
"What? Sokka isn't either of those things!"
"We'll see about that," Azula smirked slightly. "You should get some, uh, spirit swimsuit of your own. You're bound to reflect on the waves, you know?"
"Oh… maybe. But probably only if they don't move around too much," Yue smiled awkwardly. "But I'll be fine like this. I approached Aang once when he was in the ocean, you know? And I didn't dress any differently than I do right now."
"Heh, fair enough," Azula shrugged, shaking her head. "Anyways… let's get going."
She wore a sarong over her waist that would at least conceal most her legs from ogling gazes. Not that she expected to draw many of those… but Sokka did say she was beautiful. Perhaps she really should cover up her torso further… who knew what Sokka might react more to, anyway? He'd see a lot of her skin, more than he ever had before… she needed to stop feeling self-aware about that, she really did.
She marched out of the bathroom to find Sokka standing by the living room table, still checking out the birth control and safe sex supplies, with a slight smirk on his face…
But she couldn't really register the expression when her eyes were entirely enticed by his strong, broad and muscular back.
"Oh! You're… b-back."
They froze for a moment, gaping at each other. Awkwardness settled between them as they took in the other, the bare chest Sokka presented for Azula – curses, he had grown far too fit in his adulthood – and the smooth abdomen she showed off before him – the dip of her hipbones, hiding under that skirt, sent his mind flying in some rather raunchy directions…
But they reeled it in. They reeled themselves in. They blushed, recognizing each other's interest… and stashing it aside. It wasn't the time for that.
"I've got the mirror here," Azula said, showing Sokka at Yue, as though that would suffice to remind him that she wasn't supposed to be his. At least… not yet. Not until Yue's situation was sorted out and they could take their time to figure out what to do with what was brewing between them.
Though, unfortunately, that resolve was slightly more difficult to stand by now than it ever had been…
"Right. Right," Sokka said, waving at Yue. "Hope I'm not too gross nowadays, compared to what I used to look like…"
"Gross?" Azula repeated. Sokka shrugged.
"She never did see me without a shirt, true, but… she's still sixteen," Sokka smiled awkwardly. "Might be I'm not exactly appealing to her right now."
Well, if Yue wanted to skip on that, Azula certainly would be happy to take over in her stead… 'gross', of all words, wasn't how she'd describe his surprisingly alluring body. She truly wanted to reach out to touch him and… and she wouldn't do that. She couldn't do that. She refused to do it at all.
Yue in the mirror, however, giggled and startled Azula. The Princess glanced at her to find the Moon Spirit smiling brightly in Sokka's direction.
"You really did grow up to be so handsome, Sokka," she said, beaming. "I… I hope you two can swim a lot! And maybe build a sandcastle? That's what people do in beaches, right?"
"Well, you can tell us what you want us to do, and we will," Azula said, with a careless shrug. Yue clapped happily.
"Then… a sandcastle!"
Yue's request proved tricky to fulfill: Sokka's ability to work with sand was astonishingly poor, to Azula's utter amusement. They discussed the possibility of heading out to the public beach, but instead, they stayed in the private one by the Fire Lord's villa, for it would be safer. Talking to Yue would draw less confused stares that way. It also meant that Sokka's skills at molding sand would only be judged by Azula, rather than by a large crowd.
"No, no, no! That tower is crumbling, Sokka, damn it!" Azula huffed, reaching over with the bucket to fix the tower that Sokka couldn't seem to compose properly. "Water! Use more water!"
"If I use too much it just crumbles anyway!" Sokka pouted. "You're such a perfectionist…"
"And you're not one at all. You… you meant that as an insult, too?" Azula scoffed. "Being a perfectionist is far better than being mediocre, just so you know…"
"I'm not mediocre!" Sokka's voice cracked, and Azula smirked as she knew she had successfully stoked his pride. "I'll do better than you! My own castle against yours! You'll see!"
It was a hilarious competition, one that Yue couldn't seem to stop laughing over as both struggled with different aspects of the composition of the castle – Sokka's castle certainly was a misshapen mass, more than anything, while Azula's frustrated her constantly, as she couldn't fully bring her vision to reality – instead, she would have to settle for a smaller, simpler building that she couldn't help but find frustrating.
And so, they tried again and again and again, and once they were finally close to success…!
A potent wave rushed in, without warning, and slammed into the side of both castles, nearly knocking Sokka and Azula off their feet.
"Nooooooo!" Sokka cried, hands up his hair as his grand work of sand architecture crumbled. "Not again! How dare you, sea?! How dare you?!"
"Oh, forget it! I'm not starting again, I'm done with…!" Azula exclaimed, turning towards the mirror…
… To find it was no longer there.
Azula's eyes widened: the foam was receding, and the water returning to the shore… and in it floated a surprised Yue, carried away by the ocean.
"YUE!"
Azula rushed out into the water, probably unnecessarily so: technically, Yue wouldn't go anywhere, even if her mirror did. But she still sprung out in a hurry, eager to pick up the mirror that kept going deeper into the water.
"Azula! Azula!" Sokka followed her, watching in surprise as the Princess loosened her sarong, tossing it aside before jumping fully into the water.
She certainly had a good form as a swimmer, but Sokka wasn't sure she'd be fast enough to reach the mirror right away. The water level would rise the deeper she went… and more waves were coming.
"Damn it…!" Sokka rushed after her, diving into the sea and swimming quickly to reach Azula. "Deep breath!"
Azula glanced back at him in confusion upon hearing him say that.
"Wave incoming!" Sokka explained.
Azula only had a small moment to obey his suggestion: the breath wasn't all that deep, but the wave crashed against her, she broke it with her body… and then she opened her eyes to realize the mirror was nowhere in sight.
"N-no… no!" she glanced back, trying to find it in the wave that had just rushed in, but she couldn't see it. Just as she couldn't see Sokka. "Sokka? Sokka?!"
Something rammed into her legs, not too violently, but hard enough to be noticeable: a shape underwater gave away that Sokka was floating below her, kicking fast and hard on his way… somewhere. Azula breathed deeply before sinking in, rushing in after him.
She reached for his back, touching it gently. He turned around, recognizing her with difficulty, squeezing her hand and urging her to catch up to him. Their breaths wouldn't last forever, but if they were going to find the mirror…
Something gleamed, deeper into the sea. It was falling lower and lower, dropping through the liquid… but the sun still gleamed upon its surface. That was enough for them to know where they had to go.
They kicked fast, speeding up further, and the mirror dropped lower still…
Their hands gripped it at the same time before they began kicking upwards instead.
Sokka wrapped an arm around her waist, and Azula wondered if he needed help… but when she surfaced, she realized he wanted her to break out of the surface first, instead.
Her hair whipped back chaotically as she took in a deep breath, cleansing her lungs. Sokka surfaced afterwards, his hair all over his face, and he shook his head violently to make the strands flop aside. They were floating deep in the ocean, and more waves would come next…
But they raised their hands, and the mirror sat between them indeed. Relieved sighs left both their lips.
"There… there! We've got it! We…!" Sokka gasped… when he felt the water receding again, reeling them deeper into the ocean.
"Sokka…!" Azula shrieked, grabbing onto him in a panic.
"Azula… I'm sorry," Sokka said, forcing her to let go of the mirror. "I hope this isn't a huge mistake…!"
He reeled his arm back, and he threw the mirror as powerfully as his arm could take it, all the way to the shore. Azula gasped as she saw it fly, partially grateful that his arm was strong enough to send it out of the water's reach… but hoping, just as well, that it wouldn't break against the sand after he'd thrown it quite so powerfully.
But they were still being dragged in, still in the currents' control.
"Breathe!" Sokka warned Azula: his grip around her tightened, and he dragged her under water.
He didn't go much lower than that: they felt the push of the surface wave, large and messy as it might be, and Sokka followed it as best as possible, letting the wave itself carry them closer to shore. They didn't make it too far, but they progressed towards the sand all the same as they resurfaced and continued swimming.
"We'll do that again…! Let the sea do the work for us…!" Sokka panted heavily. Azula nodded: his grip around her remained tight, their legs crashed when they kicked…
Another wave, and this time, they rode it carefully enough that Sokka's feet finally touched the sandy ground underneath them once again. He sighed in relief, walking a little further until Azula could stand properly in the water, too.
"Fuck… fuck," Sokka sighed, gripping Azula tightly. "You okay?"
"I'm… maybe a bit bruised. Hair's a mess. Got water in my ears, I think," Azula said. Sokka smiled awkwardly. "You?"
"Same," he laughed, though he glared at the sea with frustration. "It was a perfectly calm sea just a little while ago and now it went bonkers! What the hell was that about?"
"Huh… maybe the Ocean Spirit was trying to reclaim Yue," Azula proposed, playfully.
Sokka's eyes widened. The next wave rose, prepared to rush in once again.
"You're not saying…" Sokka glared at the water, and Azula smirked at his reaction.
"Sounds like your ex's new partner doesn't particularly care for us…" Azula said.
"You… HEY! If you want Yue for yourself, woo her properly, you bastard!" Sokka roared, splashing angrily. Azula laughed in his arms, pressing her face to his chest. "You're not taking that mirror, and I'm not handing it over, ever! You…! Uh… uh-oh."
Azula glanced again: apparently, Sokka's threat did not sit well with the Ocean Spirit, for a larger wave still rose in the distance…
"Run! RUN!" Sokka roared, grabbing Azula's hand and racing out of the water, knowing they would be goners otherwise.
The sea had receded enough that they could run across the wet sand without resistance. They kept going, they kept running, the wave broke, it was coming over them…
And it did exactly that, as good as drenching the entire bay and, of course, knocking Azula and Sokka off their feet once the last legs of water crashed hard against their calves, violently enough to break their balance and send them rolling across the wet sand. A rather wicked display by the Ocean Spirit, but an effective one to command proper respect from those who hadn't offered it any.
Sokka rolled over the sand, the water seeping through them and drenching them all over again. He clung to Azula nonetheless, shielding her from the impact with his body as best as he was able. It took him a moment to realize she was hugging him right back, face pressed against his chest.
"Now… now we're more bruised than before, heh," Sokka said, hand touching her flank, keeping her in place. "You okay?"
Azula breathed heavily and nodded. She sighed, eyeing him remorsefully after a moment.
"I… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run off like that, after the mirror, I… fuck. I can see her whenever, wherever. The mirror isn't the only way…" Azula whispered. Sokka hummed, rolling them slightly so Azula would lie on her back.
"It's not. And I can get you another one too, if you lost this one," Sokka said. "But it's okay. We're fine, and hopefully the mirror is too… wherever it landed. I'll go fetch it in a bit…"
"Please," Azula said, with a small smile. "I… I don't want to lose it."
"I figured, but…" Sokka said, sitting up beside her. Azula sat too, shaking her head – sand clung to her hair, which was certainly more chaotic now than it had been before. "I still think I could've gotten you a new one, if you had. Maybe a prettier one, with a better finish? A little bigger, I don't know…"
"Heh," Azula smiled a little, lowering her gaze. "Didn't even think of that. I guess I just…"
"What?" Sokka asked, when she trailed off. Azula breathed out slowly, her heart pounding when she dared share her actual train of thought.
"That mirror is… the first gift anyone's given me since before Sozin's Comet."
Sokka froze in place. Azula bit her lip, breathing deeply as she forced herself to share more… to explain where this strange, unlikely bout of sentimentality had come from.
"I just didn't want… I mean, I don't even like it much, you already know I don't, but I didn't want to… to lose it anyway. Because you gave it to me. So… that. I'm sorry I was such a–…"
She couldn't finish the sentence, couldn't convey her full thoughts: she felt his hand reach for her neck, the other her cheek, and he raised her face so it would meet his as he leaned in to press his lips to hers.
The impulsive kiss caught Azula off guard entirely. Her eyes widened, and she raised a hand to push him away at first, by instinct alone…
Only to realize he was, indeed, kissing her.
A euphoric feeling she had not anticipated seemed to take root in her chest, roaring with a fierce, powerful emotion that brought her throat to thicken with tears, no matter how triumphant she might feel. The hand that had almost pushed him now fell upon his arm, upon the chest that had enticed her so…
She dove in, kissing him back without restraint.
She didn't care if he was pitying her, for once. The thought didn't even form fully in her head: he was kissing her. He had chosen to do it, so it was on him. She had kept her distance, she had sensed the feeling of intimacy and closeness developing between them, but she hadn't done anything out of place. She had behaved herself… but he didn't want her to. Clearly he didn't, or else he wouldn't be doing exactly what he was doing right now. And if he wanted her lips, she'd give them to him gladly. If he wanted her body… she might as well give him that, too.
His hands roamed her back, as he pressed her smoothly on the sand. He kissed her passionately, eagerly, ignoring the new waves that tickled their toes, pinning Azula in place as though to ensure that she wouldn't be able to run away this time, or shirk him off, or dismiss what was happening between them. He'd had enough of holding back when he could tell they both wanted the same thing…
This was new to her, entirely new. Her first kiss had happened in this island just as well, but it had been nothing like this. She had damn fished for it, hoped to catch his eye… now, she was on the receiving end of a passion more powerful than the waves that had rolled them earlier. He was as imposing as that ocean, and she welcomed him as the shore might, her cliffs finally eroded and ready to receive him.
Though the truth was that she didn't quite know what they were doing once Sokka's lips left hers, latching onto her neck instead. She gasped, knowing that was an avenue of intimacy she had never experienced… his hands moved over her flanks, slightly higher now, and – his thigh slipped between hers. His thigh was…
He gave her no quarter, no room to run away from the latest of their battles, if this could be called that at all. Her hands remained as good as inert upon his body… but she dared do more shortly, even if the tongue that jousted with hers threatened to throw her entirely out of balance. There was a danger to his bold touches, to the impulsive way in which he had pounced on her…
A danger she liked. A danger that set her heart on fire, racing at full speed.
Sokka was ready to have sex with her. He wanted to sleep with her.
And she wanted him to do it, just as well.
She moaned at last, when his lips found a weak spot on her neck. He sucked on it gently, then more intensely as he savored her, tasting her body as best he could, regardless of the saltwater that clung to it. Her hands finally moved, caressing his pectorals, his abdomen, his waist… she reached the hem of his swimming trunks, knowing that was all he wore. Her fingers dipped past the band, boldly daring reach down to touch, to grope his rear and squeeze it deviously. Sokka groaned: he wanted to do that too, did he? His hands indeed slipped down lower, to her waist… then, they jumped over to her thighs and from there, he raised her legs so they would lock behind his back.
While it wasn't ideal, he still could touch her like this. Her swimsuit bottoms were small, leaving very little to the imagination, and his hands cupped each buttock smoothly as he groaned against her neck. He growled hungrily before switching back to her lips, tasting her thoroughly once again, just as his hands massaged her intimately, touching her in ways no one had ever touched her before. Was this what desire felt like? Her cheeks flushed crimson, never having truly conceived that the day might come when someone would want her quite this badly. She didn't truly know why Sokka had gone wild on her this way, but she certainly had no complaints on that front so far: every daring, bold gesture on his part startled her, leading her to reel back out of fear of the unknown… only to discover that the unknown in this case was actually a surprisingly pleasant thing, instead. She trusted him, more than anyone… and so, she spread her legs wide open, pressing her chest into his, hoping he would continue to elicit sensations unparalleled upon her skin.
His groans into her mouth might just be having a stronger effect upon her lower body, for the warm tingles in her core strengthened each time his sounds echoed inside her. Likewise, his trunks tightened with every sensual moan that slipped from her throat. He couldn't have enough of those soft, shrill sounds, of eliciting that kind of response from his new lover… She gripped him more tightly, nails digging slightly in his skin, and Sokka hissed as he pressed his brow to hers.
"Hey, now…" he managed to say: she answered with a wicked laugh, one he found delicious enough to kiss off her mouth at once. Curses, he had to be losing his grip… but he found her laughter so seductive, much like everything about her was. He bucked his body against hers, and she responded with more of that moaning… he was losing it. He was really losing it…
Her head was buzzing with delight when she finally dared do something she truly didn't know how to do… oh, but how hard could it be? She allowed her hand to slide to the side, leaving the other one in place, fondling and rubbing his rear… while the other one slipped between their two bodies, touching coarse hair first until she finally found what she was seeking.
Sokka gasped, looking at her in surprise when her fingertips touched his manhood's base. Azula swallowed hard, smiling slightly at him.
"Guess… I found something," she concluded. Sokka swallowed hard.
"Can I…?" he asked. Azula shivered: he was seriously asking for permission now? The bastard truly knew how to make her legs feel like hot water, truly… he wanted more of her, more intimacy than they'd already found…
She nodded. She wanted more, too.
He responded to that permission by kissing her fiercely: one of his hands slid over her body, trailing inside the hem of her swimsuit bottom, and boldly slipping lower until the fingers dipped into her folds.
Azula gasped, and Sokka caught the sound with his mouth. He stared at her as he kissed her, and when she opened her eyes, she found his: she couldn't decide whether his finger's touch was more erotic or if the way he watched her, eyes so full of greed and lust, happened to be more powerful still…
She wanted to be naked with him, for him. She wanted to shed her every layer and let him see her as she was. He wouldn't run away: he wanted to see it all, too.
But before anything of the sort could happen, Sokka's fingertips rubbed smoothly, teasingly, over her folds. Was he trying to memorize her weakest spots, perhaps? Was he mapping out the way her body jolted and shifted with each caress? The clever bastard might just be doing exactly that…
She couldn't hold herself back at all. She couldn't help but surrender to the erotic situation: she threw her head back, and when his fingers rubbed her clit again, she didn't hold back from reaching the finish line right then and there.
Sokka gasped in surprise upon hearing her desperate, orgasmic moans. He was even weaker for her upon hearing them, and his curious fingers dared dip lower… he bit his lip as he dared enter her with one finger, finding her soft and tender, and thoroughly soaked.
"Hell…" he whispered. Azula's chest heaved against him as he continued to crush her to the sand.
She closed her eyes, and he dreaded the climax might just clear her head and she'd realize exactly what they had been doing, and that they'd been doing it out in the open…
Her hands rose to the back of his head, and she kissed him fiercely again, as though her earlier breathlessness had become a rather amusing addiction rather than a cause for concern…
"Azula…" Sokka groaned into her mouth, thrusting against her hand as though to sate his throbbing manhood: fuck, but he wanted her. He wanted to see just how compatible they truly were, on every level of the act…
"Sokka… Sokka…" she called for him, her voice a mere whisper unless his touch caused her to cry out louder. "Fuck…! S-Sokka, fuck… fuck me. Fuck me…!"
He hadn't actually expected her to ask for it, let alone after she had just finished. It suited her, of course, to be as unexpected as possible. He smiled in relief, heart pounding as he nodded eagerly.
"I want you. Fuck, I want you so badly…" he whispered: he tugged his trunks down properly now, and Azula wrapped a fist around his base: he was as good as fully erect already, and Sokka only groaned further as her hand helped him grow harder and larger still…
She could feel his size, she certainly feared he might be too big for her to accommodate him properly… but she didn't care. Oh, she didn't mind. She felt so smooth and supple now, as though she were made of rubber… and she certainly wanted more. She needed to know how it felt. She wanted to do exactly that with Sokka. She had wanted it for so much longer than she had let herself accept she did.
He tugged her swimsuit bottom aside, exposing enough of her core for him to breach: Azula gasped at the awareness of where they were being quite so inappropriate, realizing again that the water, while not as fierce and dangerous as before, still lapped at their feet on occasion… she gripped him, anticipation building as he kissed her reassuringly, finding the right entrance angle at last.
He pushed his way inside her.
Azula clenched up at first: the invasion certainly was complete now. If only this had been his long-term plan, she would have called it a resounding success. But where she had fought him off without fear ten years ago, today she didn't want to fight. She embraced him, instead… and he whispered warm words in her ears as he adjusted inside her.
"There… there. You okay? Breathe… loosen up, okay?"
Azula's breath hitched as she nodded, trying to obey him. The tension in her lower body might recede slowly, but there was a chance that he'd have to help with that. Maybe he didn't dare yet, but… oh, she wanted him to. She truly wanted him to…
"M-my… m-my breasts," Azula whispered. Sokka winced, pulling back as if fearful that he might have been crushing them. "T-touch them. Touch me. Sokka…"
"Oh… oh," Sokka smiled a little: she slapped his rear with the hand that remained there, as though encouraging him to get going already. He laughed, kissing her once more before thrusting slowly inside her…
His head moved to her neck as his fingers slid up finding the lower hem of her swimsuit's bra: he didn't settle for touching them under the cloth, instead yanking it up at a lack of knowledge of how to remove that precise swimsuit style… but with that, her breasts were delightfully exposed, and he pulled back just to admire them with a greedy, wicked smile. Her cheeks flushed as he ogled her: he liked what he saw. He really did…
"You're so… so damn perfect," Sokka whispered, startling Azula by his use of the word: she couldn't have been more imperfect as of late if she tried. Right now, she was covered in sand, her hair an unkempt mess… but he didn't lie. He couldn't have said it unless he meant it, so… maybe his notion of perfection was that removed from reality. Surely that was all there was to it…
His hands caressed her intimately, distracting her entirely from the light pain resulting from that initial penetration: it helped all the more when his lips latched onto her nipple, and Azula nearly screamed in bliss at the sensation. Oh, he had to do that again, and again, and on both sides, and…
He thrusted, and the pain seemed to fade to oblivion as he did. Its very final ripples were replaced by the booming arousal that threatened to run away with her for a second time already.
She gripped him tightly, and he was startled when it was her who thrusted upwards, as good as begging him to claim her.
And so he did, kissing her fiercely, giving free rein to the hands that caressed her intimately, to the hips that rolled recklessly into hers, his manhood dipping deeper and deeper, making his way through her as she opened up further and further… she had never been so excited in her life. She had never experienced anything on par with this. She damn near screamed with each hitch of pleasure, delighted to be fully pressed to the sand by him. Thankful, too, for his refusal to run away when she had nearly done that out of confusion at first: this exhilarant sensation was dangerously addictive, a high she wanted to chase without fail, knowing the fulfilling culmination would be even better than the one he had gifted her already…
He thrusted harder, faster, losing his grip on reality as his need for her overwhelmed him. His brow pressed against hers, his lips trailing all over her face, letting hers suck on his lower lip, a rather weak manner to stifle her own cries of passion…
His hips bucked, hands leaving her breasts briefly solely so he could hoist her hips carefully: the change in the angle of entry had her crying out even more desperately as he brushed more weak spots, as he claimed every part of her body she had never allowed herself to be ruled by… until today. Until that afternoon, when the shroud of dusk and the distance they kept from the rest of the beach's visitors might still not suffice to conceal Azula's next peak…
Her walls jolted so violently and pleasantly around his shaft that Sokka couldn't help but lose himself in the sensations, surrendering and succumbing to his primal need, unleashing himself deep inside her mere instants after she'd done the same thing.
He thrusted still, accompanying her as she navigated that climax, much as they had ridden the waves earlier. He didn't slow down until her walls slowed down, until they were no longer jolting… and by then, Sokka leaned over her chest, pressing soft kisses upon the exposed mounds he had wanted to explore so very thoroughly… maybe she would let him still. Maybe his failure to hold out for much longer wouldn't be punished all that harshly… but she truly hadn't made it easy at all. As far as he could tell, the past weeks of their relationship, probably since their drinking spree in Ba Sing Se's rooftops, had been the longest foreplay of all time.
"Sokka…" Azula called him. He groaned in response, still pressing his face to her breast: she would tell him he wasn't allowed to do that anymore, wouldn't she? Now that they were done, surely she would shove him off… "We… shit. We didn't use… any of that."
"Any of…?" Sokka blinked blankly, raising his head in confusion.
"The safe-sex stuff that woman… gave us," Azula admitted, cheeks flushed. Sokka's eyes widened.
"Uh… oh. Uh, heh, well… next time," he said, before his stomach sank: would there be a next time?
The smile on Azula's face suggested he wasn't wrong to hope for that, and his heart soared to see it.
"Well… better late than never, I suppose," she said, with a slight laugh. "Sokka…"
He smiled warmly, and she did the same before reeling him closer, arms wrapped around his neck. She kissed him again, unconcerned with how uncomfortable the sand was, careless about how shameless they were, letting themselves get carried away out in the open this way…
"Let's go… go inside," Sokka suggested, licking her lips. Azula hummed. "Come on. We can get the stuff and… and go again, when you're ready. If you want…"
"I want to. I… t-that was…" Azula said, with a small smile. Sokka grinned. "You know I'd never, well…"
"You're way too bold already for someone who's new at this," Sokka laughed, kissing her cheek. "I can only wonder how much wilder you're going to get in a couple more rounds…"
"Guess we'll see," Azula smiled: what the hell was this? She had no idea. She didn't think there was a rational explanation for it either. She just… liked this. Liked him. She wanted more of his thrusts, plowing into her with abandon… her heart raced with unbridled excitement upon knowing he wanted more of her, too. How much more? Would he grow bored of her? She hoped not. She truly hoped not…
Sokka sat up, and their bodies uncoupled. Azula gazed at him as he moved, knowing she remained exposed to him… doing absolutely nothing to change that. The way his greedy eyes locked on her nipples sent a special kind of shiver down her spine.
"Come here," Sokka whispered, slipping his arms underneath her body and hoisting her into his embrace.
She kissed him willfully again once he did that, and while he stumbled slightly while standing up, carrying her, he managed to do so in the end. They laughed together, brows touching, as Azula caressed his cheek gently.
"Weak on the knees?" she asked.
"Maybe a little," he admitted, earnestly. "Your fault for being so…"
"So?" Azula asked, amused by the sudden accusation.
"So seductive, I suppose that's the right word," Sokka laughed, kissing her neck as he marched her back towards the small road that led to the house. Azula moaned, wrapping arms and legs firmly around him. "Like it when I do that, do you?"
"Still haven't done anything I didn't like," Azula smiled. "I'll bite you if you do."
"And what are we going to do if I happen to like it when you bite me?"
She burst out laughing again, and Sokka smirked as he carried her inside, letting himself explore her body even if his hands had to remain firmly locked on her rear, keeping her in place. Azula had better chances to do it, caressing his shoulders, his chest, his strong neck… she claimed kisses off his lips constantly, and Sokka surrendered them generously each time, squeezing her ass when he did. If her mouth wasn't busy claiming his, his own would press to her collarbone, to her upper chest… and a couple of times, to her mounds and the nipples that were smoothly pressed against him.
"Like those, do you?" Azula asked teasingly, as they finally entered the house anew.
"Like you said… still haven't found the first thing I don't like about you," Sokka smiled, leaning in and sucking on her nipple teasingly. Azula moaned, arching back slightly as Sokka finally reached the living room… and the table filled with contraceptive methods, too.
They laughed as Sokka set Azula down on the table, and their adventures deciding which ones to use began then. They laughed together as they realized they'd mixed up some of the methods, with him eating the seeds while she ate the fruit at first, then switching it around. They decided to settle for that for the time being, though Azula was curious, regardless, about the membrane that Sokka didn't seem convinced by…
"I don't know if it'll feel the same, but fine, we can try it, we can…" he said, wrapping his arms around her as he kissed her again. "But right now…"
"Yes…?" Azula asked: she had rested plenty by now. She certainly was ready to go again…
"We should clean up."
Azula raised an eyebrow, and Sokka chuckled as he hoisted her into his arms again.
"We're going to keep doing this, aren't we? Why not clean up after…?" she asked: Sokka groaned, pressing his face to her neck and kissing it softly.
"Because… we've got sand everywhere, girl."
She winced and glanced towards the trail they'd left on their way inside the house. Indeed, there was sand scattered leading up to the table, and plenty on the table too, where he had placed her. She laughed, shaking her head, and the sand spilled down her back, out of her hair, causing her to shiver at the sensations.
"That's… a compelling argument," she conceded, laughing as Sokka carried her away. "As you wish."
"Bet it's going to feel a lot better without sand grains sticking into us everywhere," Sokka chuckled. "If we do it again out there, we'd better set down a towel."
"A good idea," Azula smiled, kissing him earnestly again.
They cleaned up together in the bathroom near Sokka's room: they finally dared be fully naked together, shedding the very exposed clothes they had still been wearing – Azula hadn't even fixed her top to cover her chest so far, and now she wouldn't bother doing it anyway, either. They washed each other thoroughly, intimately, though Sokka proved himself all over again as a grand catch for a lover once he focused particularly on cleaning her hair properly. Azula smiled: she hadn't indulged in the feeling of someone washing her hair for her in so long… what a delightful privilege to reclaim, and by the hands of her lover, who covered her neck in warm kisses while whispering wickedly delightful things in her ear…
Most people took their time to relax in the tub after cleaning up thoroughly: the eagerness led Sokka and Azula to forsake doing that. Instead, they marched into Sokka's chosen room, unable to get their hands off each other at all, trading no end of deep kisses as they finally fell into a comfortable, smooth bed.
All the while, their hearts didn't seem to stop racing. The thrills they felt in each other arms seemed unlike anything they had ever experienced – Azula, naturally, had known this would be an unprecedented matter for her… but Sokka could only smile brightly as he nibbled on her neck, as he fondled her chest, as he stirred her arousal, caressing her core: this was what he had been missing all along. This excitement, this thrill… he had never known he had been looking for it, but he had found it indeed. The cumbersome, dark year he had endured, begrudgingly, suddenly seemed so bright… for she was making it brighter. And she was dangerous, and chaotic, and wicked, and her sense of humor could be as unrefined as his… every single one of those things convinced him further that he was exactly where he always wanted to be, with the right person to be with, just as well.
They determined to spend the night in bed, then, learning each other thoroughly, touching intimately, finding their shared kinship could become something so much deeper than that. They hardly seemed to stop kissing, and they laughed together without restraint at each other's occurrences without fail. After two more rounds of sex, each smoother and more pleasant than the last, they lay together, with Sokka resting atop Azula, comfortably nestled atop her breasts, occasionally pressing soft kisses or even toying with the nipples – Azula even urged him to do it at times, prompting him to laugh as he pleasured her anew.
"Hope your first time was a lot better than you expected," Sokka chuckled, smiling warmly at her as he palmed her chest gently. She smiled, running her fingers through his smooth hair.
"I never expected one, frankly. Thought I'd die a virgin and I wasn't exactly upset about it. Didn't think I'd meet anyone worth doing this with," she whispered, kissing his brow softly. "You make it your life's mission to be contrarian to anything I'm resolved to do, as far as I can tell."
"Isn't it worth it, though?" Sokka grinned goofily. Azula laughed and shrugged.
"You're making it worth it, yes. Smug asshole," she whispered. Sokka snickered proudly.
"Safe to say Ember Island isn't that bad when you go with the right person, huh?" he asked, hand dipping lower, resting on her waist instead. Azula hummed in agreement, reeling him in for a deep kiss.
"Or the wrong person, for the right reasons," Azula laughed. Sokka scoffed. "What?"
"You're just being contrarian like me," he decided. Azula snorted. "You're going to pretend otherwise, are you?"
"Sokka… I'm not sure anyone's ever thought I'm the right fit for anything. Well, other than my father, when it was about sending me to do his bidding," Azula sighed. "We've had great sex, no doubt, but… you think that means I'm right for you?"
"No… I think everything else we shared before that means you're right for me," Sokka whispered, startling Azula. "What? You thought I'd only started wanting you right now?"
"W-well, no, but…"
"Didn't you hear I'd drawn Suki firebending once before?" Sokka smiled, leaning close to kiss her cheek. "The only girl I'd met who could firebend is in this bed with me, right now…"
"Pfft! You're not saying you wanted me like this all along! Sokka…?" Azula said, eyeing him skeptically. He snickered and shrugged.
"I'm not going to pretend I did it consciously, but…" he said. Azula scoffed.
"Sokka… you didn't have a crush on me, did you?"
"I…! Might have?"
"You're ridiculous," Azula snorted, bursting out with laughter again as Sokka groaned, pressing kisses to her neck.
"Well, you slept with the ridiculous idiot who has a crush on you and still has it and would love to keep on sleeping with you, so who's more ridiculous now?" he said.
"Still you," Azula decided. Sokka sighed and shrugged.
"Guess I'll live with that," he said, with a slight smile. "Did… did it never cross your mind? Back in the war, I mean. Ever looked at me and thought: 'oh, what a handsome peasant! If only he had been born Fire Nation, I would be expecting him to ask my father for my hand in marriage…' or so?"
"You really have some wild fantasies, don't you?" Azula smirked. Sokka chuckled and shrugged.
"An imagination is a healthy thing, Princess," he smiled, kissing her lips softly.
"Well… relinquish it a little bit as I tell you the truth," Azula said: Sokka's eyes widened.
"The… huh?" he raised his eyebrows.
"You… were indeed handsome. And when I realized you were actually with Suki, I was disappointed. If just a bit."
Sokka's eyes widened at her confession. She laughed, shaking her head.
"I did enjoy our clash in the tunnels far more than I should have. You're terribly dominant when you want to be," Azula smiled, trailing a hand over his flanks. "It's a good trait in a man… knowing when to stand his ground, as well as when to submit? Fascinating. So… yes, I liked you far more than I should have, I dare say. Never expected anything to happen, of course, and I wasn't about to admit it aloud to anyone, it was treasonous to so much as wonder what it might be like for you to kiss me, but…"
"Well… it's not treasonous now," Sokka smiled, pressing his lips to hers. "And you don't need to wonder much anymore."
"Still treasonous, actually," Azula said, with a slight smirk. "You're in bed with a wanted criminal, didn't you know that?"
"Oh, they can piss off," Sokka growled, and Azula laughed at his reaction. "They sure as hell don't want you as badly as I do."
"Is that right?" Azula laughed, before he kissed her long and tenderly.
The comfort they found together was next to none: Azula wanted more of this, more of him, maybe another round or twenty… her body might not be up for it anymore, she might need a break, but curses, if he asked for another, she would gladly push her limits just for him. Her arms looped around his neck, reeling him in, showing him she wanted him just as badly as he had said he wanted her…
He smiled warmly at her once they pulled back – no one ever smiled at her that way. She knew no one had done it before. Her heart tingled with hope, with bliss, to know that someone did now…
"I just…" he started, before smiling and shaking his head. Her heart jolted with anticipation and eagerness, wondering if he was about to admit he was as hooked on her as she was on him… or would he say something else instead? Who could ever hope to know…?
"What?" Azula nudged him. He laughed, shaking his head. "If it's that funny you should say it. Then, if it's not actually funny, I'll pinch you for getting my hopes up…"
"It's not funny, no," Sokka smiled, cupping her face. "But I think you don't want to hear it, actually."
"Unless you're about to say you were messing with me the whole time and none of this is real? I'm not sure I understand why I wouldn't want to hear it," Azula said, a sense of trepidation rising inside her. Even so, Sokka kept smiling, shaking his head.
"It's not a bad thing, it's just… I'm not sure you're ready to hear it," he said.
"Well… I did say I liked how honest you are, from quite early on actually," Azula said. "Might as well be honest and tell me what you were thinking rather than messing with me this way…"
Sokka breathed deeply, gazing at her with heartfelt emotion. He didn't want to tell her what he was thinking… but once he did, she'd understand exactly why that was the case.
"Very well. Might as well do it," he said, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "What's on my mind, you ask? Well… that I'm pretty sure I love you, that's what."
Of all things he could've said, that hadn't so much as crossed Azula's mind.
Where she had forced herself to feel his touch in ways she wasn't used to, only to realize how pleasant it could be after it was done, this time she didn't restrain her impulses to run away. This time, she sat up on the bed, pulling back from him, leaving Sokka to hover where her chest had been moments ago while she pressed against the headboard, as though someone were threatening her rather than making a positive confession. Sokka sighed, gazing at her helplessly… to find immense fear in her eyes. Inexplicable fear, at that.
"Y-you… no. You don't," Azula said, shivering. Sokka raised an eyebrow. "No. You think you do, and you're crazy if you do, but that's not… no. Sokka, you couldn't possibly be… you didn't just say…"
Her eyes widened as she covered her mouth with a hand. Tears bloomed in her eyes:
Someone had told her he loved her.
Sokka loved her.
The initial denial shifted into a burst of disbelief: this wasn't true. It couldn't be true, only…
Sokka didn't lie.
It was a dream, then. It had to be. This couldn't be happening for good, not for real, not to her, because this wasn't what happened to her. No, granted, she didn't sleep with people either, considering this was the first time she'd done that, but… that was different. Sex wasn't love. It didn't have to be. And yet… and yet it might just be for Sokka.
And she had just rejected his confession by refusing to believe it, hadn't she?
"Sokka…!" she gasped, watching him sit up on the bed. He breathed out slowly, offering her a sad smile.
"I know what's going on in my heart, Azula," he said, reaching out to take her hands in his. "And I know it's… not normal, you know? It's… it's really wild, and reckless, and unexpected, and… and I'm enjoying it like nothing I've experienced in my life. You… you've made me happier than I remember being in ages, Azula. And I'm not saying all of this to get you to say the words back to me… I'm saying it so you know that I'm not impulsively blurting this out now because our sex is mind-blowing. It's… it's because I know I feel this way. And if it seems awful to you, and you don't want me to feel like this, I get it but… I can't do much about it, as it happens. You didn't really leave me much of a choice other than falling for you, so…"
"I didn't leave you a choice?" Azula asked, perplexed. "I… I didn't do anything."
"Exactly," Sokka smiled. Azula raised an eyebrow. "You didn't have to."
She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She stared at him in disbelief, perplexed, and Sokka smiled as he leaned in, pressing his lips softly to hers.
"You don't have to say it back. You don't even have to feel the same way about me," Sokka whispered, caressing her face affectionately. "If you did, well, I'd be a lucky bastard, but it's fine if you don't, too. Whatever makes you happier, whatever you want to do… we'll do it. This is… on your terms. Even if it's my impulsiveness that got us here to begin with…"
He chuckled, eyeing her with a tenderness that struck her deep down in her heart. Azula shivered, raising a hand to clasp his…
"I… I don't know how to love someone," Azula said. Sokka's smile receded. "I… you'd be better off if you didn't feel that way about me, of all people. I've never… Sokka, no one has ever said that to me before."
Sokka gritted his teeth: the revelation came as no surprise, considering everything he knew about her past, about her life until they had converged together as they had. He hadn't loved her all along, regardless of the guilty attraction he constantly tried to stifle and never acknowledge as such from years ago… he had believed she was dangerous, just as everyone else did. He hadn't given her much thought outside of knowing that, whenever she turned up, any given situation was bound to grow more complicated.
So it shouldn't have outraged him that she had never heard those words before. Her brother wasn't likely to speak them – he couldn't remember hearing him say them to Iroh, whom he certainly loved, so how would he ever say them to Azula? Her relationship with her mother was troubled in ways Sokka had scarcely understood, since Zuko didn't often talk about it, and when he did, he appeared not to understand it either. Her father, evidently, was out of the question entirely.
No one had ever loved her. If anyone had, she certainly had never felt it.
Sokka sighed, cupping her face and kissing her softly. He dreaded that she might shove him off, that she might reject his feelings, not out of distaste towards him, but out of fear. This was new territory for the Princess. She had reasons to be uneasy, uncertain… his heart pounded for her, and he longed to wipe away every sorrowful moment she had ever endured. When he pulled back, she appeared unusually lost and vulnerable.
"I don't know if I can… if I can love anyone to begin with," Azula whispered. "In the asylum, the things they said, well…"
"Nothing you've said about that place sounds like they had your best interests in mind at all, Azula," Sokka said, stroking her hair affectionately. "Sounds more like they were glorified jailors, trying to keep you out of Zuko's path for his peace of mind."
"That… might be accurate," Azula said, raising her eyebrows. "Doesn't mean they weren't right about me, though."
"Doesn't mean they were, either," Sokka said. Azula laughed softly.
"You keep giving me so much credit… Sokka, I'm not a good person," she whispered. "If you intend on pursuing this crazy idea of loving me… then you'd do best to keep that in mind. I won't make it easy for you. I haven't so far, as far as I can tell…"
"You'd think… but maybe that's true for anyone but me," Sokka smirked smugly – oh, how she hated the way her heart jolted at the sight of that confident smile upon his face. "I've already told you… I love the way you challenge me. I love that you make me work for… well, everything, really. It's crazy to say it, but… maybe I'm my most authentic self right now because you're with me. And while I'd never say I love myself, I… kind of like the man I've become ever since I've been by your side."
Azula swallowed hard, closing her eyes as though to hold back the tears.
"I'm… not sure I can do this. I don't want to hurt you," Azula said, her voice small. Sokka smiled.
"Well, I'm pretty hardy. I'll roll with the punches until we figure out how this works, how about that?" Sokka said. Azula sighed.
"Is that what a relationship should be like?" she asked. "I mean, I wouldn't know, but it sounds like a chore…"
"I'm a pain in the ass, I make bad jokes, I'm reckless and impulsive when I want to be, and I scold you when you do crazy but fun things like tampering with the tea in your uncle's shop…"
Azula couldn't stifle a chuckle at the memory of her mischief. Sokka smiled, caressing her hair and pressing his lips to her brow.
"If you can endure me at my most irksome… because, well, so far you've never said you won't," Sokka said, with a slight smile. "I'm pretty sure I can take you on no matter what."
"We'll have to test that thoroughly," Azula said, shaking her head. "I trust you in a lot of ways, but right now it sounds like you want to say all the right things, even if you do mean them, but you have an ulterior motive…"
"Do I, now?"
"You know, that you just want to make sure you have cleared the way to get into my pants," Azula declared, haughtily: she feared she might just piss him off, but that was exactly the point: he needed to remember who he was dealing with. Several rounds of incredible sex didn't erase that she…
He snorted and laughed, wrapping his arms around her tightly still, burying his face in her neck.
"S-Sokka…?"
"Test my resolve, then… go on," Sokka smiled, gazing at her warmly once he pulled back. "I dare you."
"You're… infuriating," she said, unable to hold back a slight smile.
"Am I?" he asked, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. Azula sighed.
"I… I'm sorry if I'm being a pain right now, but… Sokka, I want this," she whispered, earnestly. "I want you. I just… don't know how to make love work, I guess. I'm too new to it, too scared of fucking it up…"
"We'll figure it out together," Sokka smiled, taking her hand into his. "And if it's not working? We can always just… have sex anyway."
"Oh, really?" Azula laughed, and Sokka smirked shamelessly. "You're an opportunistic piece of work, Sokka."
"Come on, we're too good at it to stop just because you don't love me," Sokka laughed. Azula scoffed, taking his head in her hands to press an intense kiss to his lips. He responded gratefully, giving as good as he got, and they rolled back on the bed, this time with Azula atop him.
"I never said… I didn't love you," she whispered. Sokka smirked.
"Well, that's a promising start at least," he said, hands on her hips as she blushed, hovering above him, her breasts dangling temptingly in front of his greedy eyes. "Though we can finish that conversation later, I think my brain's just stopped working because, well…"
"What? Something the matter with the landscape?" Azula asked, amused by the sight of his lustful gaze.
"It's a glorious, perfect landscape, yep," Sokka said, smiling slightly as he raised a hand to fondle her chest.
Azula sighed: she could certainly do this, as he had told her. She could succumb to the need of physicality, of feeling his lips on her, his hands raking every curve upon her body, his manhood impaled firmly inside her. Even if she was as fucked up as the damnable asylum said she was, she could try this and defy their beliefs about her, too. Nothing would be quite as gratifying as proving Zuko and his goons wrong… though sleeping with Sokka might just be better than that, actually.
She leaned in, pressing him against the bed, and he laughed as she seemed to suffocate him between her breasts, pressed to his face. She smiled as she let herself forget the heavy matters, to instead unwind by basking in the very thing Sokka wanted to persuade her to do…
Her body would certainly charge her quite expensively for the extended exercise she was subjecting it to: she wasn't used to this, to everything Sokka awakened in her body. The arousal, the new discoveries she was making… she might just be overstimulated, and yet she couldn't have enough of hearing the wicked sounds of his mouth working upon her skin, feeling his warm, teasing tongue darting back and forth across her nipples anew…
She had started bucking her hips against him when she heard a startling sound, coming from deeper in the house.
She jumped away immediately, to Sokka's disappointment. He groaned in frustration, sitting up as she glared towards the door they'd left carelessly open.
"What was that?" she asked.
"Hopefully, just something dumb we misplaced, or that got misplaced ages ago and finally just… fell over?" Sokka said, pressing his face to her chest again. "We'll check it out after…"
Her heart was racing, and not solely because of the excitement Sokka elicited inside her: she pulled back, bringing her fingers to her mouth to urge him to be quiet. Sokka blinked blankly – his leisurely demeanor dwindled over her urgency. If Azula was that worried…
He glanced over too… and then they heard the sound of the front door, closing abruptly.
"Oh, shit," Sokka gasped: Azula yelped, climbing off him at once.
"Isn't Zuko looking for us in the Earth Kingdom?!" she asked Sokka urgently, scrambling out of the bed as he did the same. "What do I…? What do I wear? Sokka…"
"I've got my things here, give me a second," Sokka said, dropping by his bags, pulling them open as he began rummaging for clothes…
Footsteps. Dubitative ones, approaching the room.
"Who the hell would…?" Azula gasped, gritting her teeth and yanking the sheet off the bed – if nothing else, that would help cover her body while Sokka offered her his clothes to wear…
But by the time he flung a long tunic at her, while jumping into a set of pants of his own, the shadowy silhouette of whoever had arrived could be seen through the threshold of the room already… and it wasn't all that dark anymore: the sudden arrival brought a lantern along, and Azula's heart sank – she wouldn't have enough time to put anything on, curses, Sokka had barely just pulled his pants up when the third occupant of the house stepped into the room.
Her heart sank.
Her stomach too.
No, perhaps they imploded.
She had never quite wanted to be deleted from existence quite as badly as she did when her eyes met those of her mother.
Ursa stood in place holding up the lantern, confusion plain across her features as she glanced across the room… at first, she didn't recognize them. No surprise that she wouldn't have, of course, she hadn't seen Azula in a fairly long time and certainly not with her hair in utter disarray as it was… nor had she seen Sokka in this shape, either, holding up his pants awkwardly, his own hair down too. She must have thought they were drunk travelers, sneaking into an empty house for the sake of it…
But Sokka yelped with recognition, paling quickly… even if not as violently as Azula did.
Ursa's jaw dropped slowly. Azula shuddered, gripping the sheet around her body even more tightly. Of all people to walk into the damn room, of all possible people…!
"… Azula?"
The embarrassment of being caught by someone would have been bad enough. The mortification over it being her own mother, with whom she hadn't even spoken in ages, only made everything a million times more unbearable. Whatever progress she had made emotionally on that day with Sokka was poised to backtrack entirely because of this.
Ursa had enough sense to leave them to dress up, and Azula wistfully hoped she would just have taken off altogether. Panic flared in her when she wondered if she might have brought her wretched family too… but after leaving Sokka's room to dress up in her own, and then inspecting the house again, she heard no other voices, no sounds: no sign of Noren and Kiyi. She certainly preferred it that way, even if she would have actually preferred for her mother to not show up at all…
And now they sat on the steps that led outside to the beach, where she and Sokka had gotten carried away wonderfully and delightfully by their mutual attraction. Azula glared in the sand's direction, wishing to turn back time, to go back to feeling cherished and wanted and desired… rather than judged, despised, regretted, as she no doubt expected her mother would feel.
Sokka sat between them, his awkwardness palpable. No doubt he wanted to tell Ursa that he hadn't done anything harmful to Azula – he could even share that they'd tested some birth control methods, as suggested by the woman they'd met earlier that day – but he didn't dare. This tense situation was entirely unprecedented for any of them, and his occasional glances at Ursa revealed that she, clearly, didn't feel any better about it than he did.
He wanted to talk things over. So did Ursa. Azula, most likely, wanted to hear none of it.
"I…" Ursa started, her voice grating on Azula's nerves at once. "I had heard that you were in the Earth Kingdom. I didn't realize you would be, well… here."
"We're traveling a lot," Sokka responded, as calm as he could present himself. "Did, uh, did you know I was with her?"
"There was confusing information on the matter," Ursa smiled awkwardly. "It rather sounded like, uh…"
"Like I'd kidnapped, gagged, drugged him and dragged him with me everywhere?"
Azula's cutting tone sent shivers of the bad kind down Sokka's spine: he wanted to hug her, tell her everything would be fine… but he knew she wouldn't take well to that right now.
"Well… I hoped that wasn't the case," Ursa admitted. Azula let out a bark of sarcastic laughter.
"You hoped? Well, it's not, so I suppose you must be happy now," Azula growled.
"I'm… confused, if anything," Ursa said. Azula scoffed.
"If what confuses you is the obvious? My personal life is none of your business," she snapped. Ursa winced, and Sokka glanced at Azula mournfully.
"I… I guess not, but…" Ursa whispered, gritting her teeth.
"No. No, don't give me that damn tone, I'm not having it," Azula snapped: she pushed herself up, shaking her head and pacing in front of the stairs.
"Azula…" Sokka called her, but she ignored him. As much as she might have grown to care for him, this did not call for his intervention.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Azula asked, turning towards Ursa. "And without your damn family, too? What, are you sick of them as well by now? Did they finally bore you and you were looking for something more invigorating in Ember Island? Eager to replace your husband and daughter yet again, maybe?"
"Azula, I didn't…" Ursa started. Azula scoffed.
"Don't lie. That's exactly what you did. And don't pretend that you're sorry for it now," Azula growled. "I… I was a damn terrible daughter, sure I was. And my father? He was a nightmare of a husband to you, I'm sure! Everyone in your life was making you miserable, everyone but precious, perfect Zuko! Oh, Zuzu, the light in everyone's lives, the only person worth anything carrying Sozin's rotten blood…!"
She let out a laugh, shaking her head and turning away from her mother: the dark night left the stars to gleam brightly above them, and Azula shuddered as more words she should have withheld, that she should have never spoken, spilled from her lips.
"I'm under no delusions that I deserved a better mother," Azula hissed. Ursa winced next to Sokka. "Regardless of whatever nonsense you think of me, Sokka? I truly am not worth any of that. I'm a terrible person, a mess, living my life just for the sake of it, knowing I'm fated for nothing grand, nothing worthwhile, nothing significant! I don't have a purpose, not for myself, not for real! All I have is ten tons of baggage that I most likely deserve to carry, and yet…! And yet no one, ever, thought that maybe I didn't want to carry it. That maybe I just wanted… to find some stupid boy I might like, someone to have a normal life with, someone I could just be myself with, settle down without needing to be on the run, fleeing from a brother who wouldn't shed a tear if his bounty hunters and soldiers slaughtered me under his orders!"
"What…?" Ursa gasped.
"So I'm quite sorry, Mother, but I don't want to hear whatever excuses you want to make for everything you've done, or haven't done!" Azula exclaimed, glaring at her. "I don't need to hear it. I don't want to. If you get to be selfish, to run away with the man you actually wanted, and have a life of leisurely carelessness while forsaking your son and daughter? Then I get to be selfish and tell you I don't give a shit! I get to be selfish and fuck whoever I want to! I get to be selfish and sabotage Zuko and Iroh in whatever stupid ways I can, if I still can, because they vex me! And I get to walk away, just as you did, and forget that I even had a mother if I feel like it, just as you forgot about me! How does that sound?!"
Ursa gritted her teeth, lowering her gaze. She said nothing, and neither did Sokka. Azula dreaded her outburst might just chase him away, but as uncomfortable as he looked, he hadn't said anything still. He hadn't fled. He hadn't come to Ursa's rescue, either. That last thing was probably the most surprising of them all…
"There's… so much I never got to say," Ursa whispered at last, and Azula snarled. "But above all, I… I don't blame you for my mistakes. That's the main thing I need you to understand, Azula."
"You don't blame me?" Azula smiled slightly. "Well, that's too bad. I blame you for a ton of things, myself."
"You're right to," Ursa said. Azula huffed, shaking her head. "Azula, I know it must be annoying, frustrating to hear me say it, but…"
"It is, yes. Thanks for noticing," Azula said, sardonically.
"There's nothing I can do to make up for the past," Ursa said. Azula scoffed.
"Which is why you won't even try."
"I didn't say that…"
"Might as well have. You didn't come here to see me, you had no idea I was here, and I'm sure the first thing you'd like to do is run for the hills at once," Azula growled. "And I know that because that's how I feel about being anywhere near you. And I'm unloading all this on you, right here, right now, because I know the chances are I'll never see you again. So, mind you, while you're not the only person to blame for the fuckup I've become, you certainly are responsible for plenty of it."
Ursa gritted her teeth, lowering her gaze again.
"I… I know this is something you've carried with you for a long time," Ursa whispered. Azula frowned. "It's only grown worse, I'm sure, as time goes by. I… I can acknowledge I wronged you, Azula. I never did right by you…"
"Nobody did," Azula cut her, cleanly. "And yet… I suppose you assumed my father, of all people, would be able to raise me into being a respectable, dignified Princess one day?"
"I… I had no such expectations from your father, no."
"So you forsook me while knowing that he was a bastard who would have sacrificed my life in a heartbeat, if it had ever come to that, to win so much as petty victories in the war," Azula concluded. Ursa grimaced, lowering her gaze. "And I… I would've accepted it, yes. I served a greater purpose, after all! The Fire Nation's cause, furthering our march of civilization all across the world…! That was all that mattered, the only thing I should've spent my life doing, and instead, I wound up losing everything and becoming a wanted criminal, a complete wreck of a human being, if I'm even that, because you think I'm a monster after all…!"
"I don't…! Oh, Azula…!"
"That's fine, I must be one. Why deny it now?" Azula laughed sardonically, looking at Ursa mercilessly. "If I wasn't one all along, which I probably was, and you were most likely right about me the whole time, then I sure became one later, right? Because the moment someone was crazy enough to… to say he loved me? I felt like saying it right back and yet I was terrified, terrified right out of my mind because how could I possibly say that?! It would be a lie, a monster wouldn't possibly love someone and… and if I did? If I did, I'd fuck it up somehow! I'd hurt him, I'd mess up, because that's just all I can do, all I've ever done, as the monster I've become. And you know what? I own up to that fact… to being one. But don't you dare pretend… don't you dare pretend you're not responsible for who I am. You, my father… the two of you, hell, my uncle for underestimating and then despising me! My brother, for constantly trying to prove himself better than me instead of ever just being my brother?! None of you… none of you get away with pretending I was too far gone, that I could not be saved! If you had bloody tried, maybe I wouldn't have seen you in mirrors and in reflections, maybe you wouldn't have haunted me the way you did until I knew, for sure, that you had never cared about me and that you never would! 'I'm sorry I didn't love you enough'? What kind of blasted mother would say something like that?! You had a choice! You could've done better, and you didn't! And this… this is your retribution for it. The daughter you revile, letting you know you're never going to live down the shame of your responsibility in who she has become. Because, believe it or not, I'm not all good now. I'm not, even if I'm trying to fulfill someone's dream, I…"
She faltered suddenly.
Her words brought back something that had escaped her mind blissfully, carelessly, so far.
She froze up, covering her mouth with a hand. The rushing disgust that overwhelmed her, that overtook her, was so much worse than being caught by Ursa…
"Azula?" Sokka frowned, standing up and approaching her: she held a hand out, stopping him at once.
"Stay… stay put. Stay there. I…" Azula said, snarling. "I can't do this right now. I can't do this anymore."
She marched back inside, an anguished expression across her face. Sokka raised a hand as though to stop her, but he didn't have the heart to do so. Instead, he sighed as he watched her leave, longing more than ever to hold her in his arms and protect her from everything that might harm her… even if it was someone who appeared to be as tame and unthreatening as Ursa.
The woman stood up, wiping tears from her eyes, but she released a heavy breath as she turned towards him.
"You'll… go after her?" she asked. Sokka nodded.
"I mean to. But I'll give her some more time," he said, biting his lip. "I have a feeling I know what… what's bothering her right now."
"I can leave," Ursa said. Sokka frowned. "Though… I mean to come back tomorrow anyway, provided you'll stay a little longer."
"You'll… leave? And stay where?" Sokka asked.
"There are plenty of inns. If that fails… Lo and Li might just have me," Ursa sighed. "Not the best place to stay, but it would do. I just… was she talking about you? When she said that… that someone told her he loved her?"
Sokka grimaced, nodding slowly. Ursa sighed, offering him a watery grin.
"Good. I'm glad… I'm glad you feel that way," she said.
"Do you feel that way, too?" Sokka asked, raising his eyebrows. Ursa's face fell again, and she lowered her gaze.
"My heart breaks every time I think of her," she whispered. "And the more time goes by… the more I realize just how much I wronged her. In fact, I… I needed to hear everything she said. She would likely think I'm patronizing her, no matter if I'm being fully honest…"
"She does have a tendency to think everyone's lying to her," Sokka admitted. Ursa winced. "Guess I'm lucky I'm the only one who's such a bad liar that she knows there's no way I'm being anything but honest."
"Well… she needs people like you in her life. Without a doubt," Ursa said, earnestly. "And I won't shirk away my responsibility in her state of mind. Which, well… has it improved, do you think? I've never done anything to help her with that, though, honestly… it sounds like I was the source of her mental disturbances, if anything."
"I don't know if the source, or the sole one, if you were, but… she's better," Sokka said, nodding. "She does see visions of someone else, not you, these days… but as much as I can't see her myself, she's really there. She's no mirage like you were."
"Wait… what?" Ursa frowned. Sokka sighed.
"I'm only telling you that because I assumed that you would want what's best for her. But if you say that you'll have her locked up in the asylum for seeing things, I…"
"That's…! I wouldn't have said that, not even years ago, Sokka. Though… what would you do, if I had said it?" Ursa asked. Sokka's eyebrow twitched as he glared at her distastefully.
"Honestly? Probably scooped her up and ran for the hills before either of us did anything we'd regret, whether to you or to guards or whoever came to get her," Sokka said. "But you won't do that, then?"
"No. I… no one can take her to that place anymore to begin with, I thought Zuko would've told you about that. But more than that, I know I've failed her, Sokka, but I want to do better. I want to do right by her," Ursa said, earnestly. Sokka raised an eyebrow, puzzled by what Ursa had implied about the asylum, but choosing to focus on Azula instead. "Even if I have no idea how, right now. But… I'm done running away. I'm responsible for my daughter. I can do better for her sake. I want to. I just… don't even know where to start."
"Saying you'll come back tomorrow is a good start, I think," Sokka said. "Not wanting her hunted down… that's also good. But she's going to need much more than that. And mind you… while I'm willing to try to smooth some things over, I'm her ally, not yours. I'm with her. Don't ask me to help you build bridges between you two. It'll only anger her more."
"I understand," Ursa said, breathing deeply and nodding. "Thank you, Sokka. For your candidness… and for helping Azula as you have. I… well, I don't really know what kind of relationship you have, it seems to be, well…"
"We're not really sure yet either," Sokka admitted, cheeks red. "But we'll figure it out."
"I hope so. Just… take care of her," Ursa whispered. "None of us have, so far. I know I ask for more than I have any right to… most of all when I'm to blame for so many of her sorrows. But… don't leave her alone. Stay with her. Stand by her side and… and make sure she knows she can be loved. It won't be easy… but if she's already opened up this much to you, and you understand each other well, then… as long as she has you, she might just find true happiness, true peace, one day."
"I intend to bring them to her, yeah," Sokka said, with a small smile. "As much as I don't know what we are yet… I do know I would spend my life with her. I've only done it for a few months and I can't imagine my future without her in it anymore."
"That's… that's marvelous," Ursa smiled warmly, nodding at him. "Then… go. Go to her now and… and let her see that she's not alone. I'll go, and I'll come in the morning again. What I have in mind might not work out, but if it does, maybe… maybe I can start building those bridges after all."
"If you already have a plan in mind… that's good," Sokka said, smiling a little. Ursa nodded. "Good luck, then. See you in the morning."
"Have a good night, Sokka."
She was shockingly civil for someone who had just faced so many harsh accusations from her daughter, Sokka thought… accusations that might not have been off-base at all. But Sokka couldn't help but worry about Azula anyway: she wasn't fine, not only because of Ursa…
But because of Yue.
He found the Princess in her own room, unused as it had been, sitting in a corner, hugging her legs to her chest. He sighed, approaching her and taking his seat by the edge of the mattress.
"She's gone," Sokka said. Azula winced. "Says she'll be back in the morning, though."
"Right. As if," Azula said, shivering. "Doesn't even matter if she does, because I… S-Sokka, just… go back to your room. Go and…"
"Azula," Sokka sighed, as Azula sobbed and shook her head. "I know what's wrong now. At least, I think I do and…"
"Did you so much as think about her at all? Did she even cross your mind?" Azula snarled, raising her head, glaring at him almost accusingly. Sokka grimaced. "Because… she didn't cross mine at all. I bloody went into the water for the mirror and then… and then I forgot all about her. I was just so lost in what we did, what we had, how I was completely swept up by the whirlwind of it all and…!"
"I did think about her."
Azula froze, staring at Sokka in confusion and chagrin. Sokka climbed off the bed, kneeling before her.
"I knew what I was doing every step of the way," Sokka said. Azula's jaw dropped. "Problem is... you seem to think I'm not over Yue. And that's not true… not the way you think it is, anyway."
"The hell does that mean?" Azula said. "W-well, even if you're over her, you…!"
"I was in a relationship for ten years with another woman, Azula. If Yue didn't hate Suki, why would she hate you?" he asked. Azula scoffed.
"Because Suki didn't even know her! I… I'm the only person she can talk to! I'm the only one who can see her! I've spent all this time telling myself that no matter how many times you bat your eyelashes at me, how often you make it look like you want me just as much as I wanted you, it could never happen! I refused to be… t-to be a traitor. To hurt my… my friend. She is my friend, and I… I betrayed her."
"You didn't betray anyone," Sokka sighed, but Azula shook her head. "Azula, this between you and me isn't some wild affair behind my wife's back: Yue and I were kids! I loved her, yes, but how am I supposed to know if things between her and I would have lasted? Maybe Arnook would've shut things down if Yue hadn't sacrificed herself! Maybe he wouldn't have accepted a man of the Southern Water Tribe marrying his daughter! Maybe she would have changed her mind and found someone else… hell, she was supposed to marry someone else! And she was kissing me anyway, and leading me on, and spending time with me and then breaking my heart every time she walked away by telling me this thing between us couldn't last!"
Azula stared at him in astonishment after his tirade finished. Sokka breathed deeply, hands trembling as he struggled not to reach for hers until he knew for sure that he could do it.
"I told you already… I'm not traveling with you, I didn't join your journey, because I thought I'd get Yue back as a result," he said. "This is…"
"About doing right by her?" Azula cut him off, startling Sokka. "Do tell, how exactly are you and I doing right by her when I…? I can't even fathom… she must have noticed what happened. When we cleaned up, at least, there was water and I didn't even look. A mirror, surely, and I was so swept up with you that I couldn't…! I forgot all about her! Just like my mother forgot me!"
"Well, you're not Yue's mother…"
"No, I'm her friend! Her only friend!" Azula nearly screamed, shivering. "And I stabbed her in the back with you. Not because you think it was fine does it mean it really was. This isn't… it's not excusable. It's not forgivable! If everything was different, if she hadn't become the Moon Spirit, she would be with you! And then, you would have never taken one look at me because you would've been all about her! And I might as well have died alone, without anyone ever saying those damn words to me, without ever knowing what it felt like to… to connect with anyone! To feel like I was real, for once in my damn miserable life…! Like I… l-like I actually mattered. Like I…"
Sokka huffed, shaking his head and staring at Azula sternly. She didn't meet his gaze, hands going up to her hair.
"I'm… I'm unforgivable," Azula said.
"You think Yue would want me to live my entire life without experiencing anything properly just because I can't be with her?" Sokka asked. Azula laughed.
"I know I would… if I were in her shoes. I'm selfish like that, don't you know?" Azula said, glaring at him again. Sokka snarled.
"Selfish? If you were selfish you wouldn't be grieving for Yue's potentially broken heart as you are right now," Sokka said. "You'd have gone to a mirror to rub in her face that you've gone further with me than she ever had a chance to. You could do that, couldn't you? So why aren't you?"
"What kind of… unreasonable bastard are you?" Azula asked, glaring at him. Sokka raised his eyebrows.
"What? Want me to bring you some water, then, so you can do it?" he asked.
"I'd throw it at your face if you did," Azula hissed. Sokka smirked.
"And then I'd take you into my arms anyway. And if there were a reflection upon the water you flung at me, she'd see everything we're doing…"
"She wouldn't…! Not like that! She wouldn't see from the reflection of water on your body just because…!" Azula scoffed. Sokka chuckled, rising to his full height. She snarled, pushing herself up as she supported herself on the wall. "What the hell has gotten into you?"
"What? That I know you're wrong, that's what," Sokka said, with a careless shrug. "About everything, actually."
"The hell is that supposed to mean?" Azula snarled.
"I know Yue doesn't hate you because you and I have any manner of connection or relationship," Sokka said, firmly. "Toph was standing near the cell for a very long time, you know? While you confessed all the things you did. The mirror was in Toph's pocket then, and Yue surely overheard what you said. Before that? You set the mirror down that night, when we were drunk. We talked, and I said you were beautiful. She must have heard all of that, you were close enough that she would have…"
"Shut up…" Azula said, eyes widening.
"What did she say about any of those things?" Sokka asked, raising his eyebrows.
"She must have missed it…!" Azula said. Sokka smirked.
"Or she didn't. And she just… didn't hate you for it."
"That's not…!" Azula exclaimed, glaring at him in disbelief. "If that were the case, she'd be even more foolish than I thought! Who the hell would think it's fine for their best friend to sleep with the man they love?! What kind of…?!"
"Maybe the kind of person who knows that their material life had to be sacrificed, and who cherishes the people they left behind, and hopes they can live on to their full potential, whether they're around not!" Sokka exclaimed. Azula's eyes widened. "And mind you, I wouldn't call that foolish. I'd call that… wisdom. Soulfulness. Compassion. But I bet you think… it's just pity, right? All over again?"
"I didn't say that," Azula hissed. Sokka huffed. "I don't believe you."
"Then she's been lying about how miserable she is about you and me?" Sokka said, raising his eyebrows. "You're going to accuse her of lying again? Well, then, why do you care?"
"What do you mean, why do I care?" Azula scoffed. "Why wouldn't I care? What kind of monster do you think I am that…?"
"If she's lying to you, and pretending something's fine when it's not, maybe it's on her for not making things clear in the first place," Sokka said. Azula winced.
"Or maybe it's on me to not hurt someone the exact same way I was hurt? How is this so hard to understand, Sokka? Are you that eager to get back to where we left off?" Azula asked, eyes wide. "Men. Guess it's true that's the only thing you think about."
"Find Yue," Sokka said, firmly. Azula shook her head. "Talk to her. Hear what she actually has to say…"
"I won't."
"Azula…"
"I won't look in a mirror! I won't look at liquids, or metal, or… or even go to sleep!" Azula exclaimed. Sokka frowned. "I'm not seeing her again. I refuse. I couldn't possibly…! What kind of shameless piece of shit would I have to be to just go up to her and try to make her understand just why I made you cheat with…!"
"It's impossible to make you understand, is it?" Sokka sighed. "You really think that, across the ten years I spent with Suki, I was cheating on Yue?"
Azula shivered. She shook her head, glaring pointedly at the floor.
"I already told you… it's different because of… of the connection I have with Yue. Suki didn't have that," Azula said, closing her eyes. "As I do… as she's the sole reason why you're even here to begin with, I can't… can't disrespect her like that. I can't shame her, I can't…"
"Then say all that to her face," Sokka suggested. Azula frowned. "You know that's what friends do? They own up to their fuckups and accept whatever punishment they're deemed worthy of…"
"I don't need you to patronize me or lecture me about basic nonsense anyone knows," Azula hissed. "I said I don't want to see her. And she'd better not want to see me, either."
"What if she does?" Sokka asked. Azula snarled. "You can't run away from her forever and you know it. Even if you covered every cup of water you drink, she'd be able to speak to you as she has so far. Even if you stay awake for ten days, you'll end up passing out of exhaustion sooner than later. One way or another, Azula…"
"I don't…!" Azula gritted her teeth. "I'll just walk away! I'll leave you here, and when I have to face her again, I can do it by telling her that I'll never see you again!"
"Ah. Is that how it is?" Sokka asked, raising his eyebrows. Azula winced, covering her mouth with a hand. "Okay, then. Go on ahead and leave… but ask yourself why, exactly, you're crying just to think of doing that."
Azula winced again: her hand forcefully wiped the tear that spilled down her face, and Sokka approached her again, almost pinning her to the wall anew. Azula glared at him begrudgingly… not knowing whether she wanted him to leave or stay more.
"I don't want to go anywhere," Sokka told her, bluntly. "I wasn't lying earlier. You told me you were too complicated, too difficult to love? Well, I'm sure this is what you meant. And you know what? I'm ready to face it. To chase you all across the world if I must. To have my heart broken time and again… and even then, I won't give up on you. I gave up on Yue because of her duty, because she asked me to let go: I refuse to do the same with you. I learned my lesson. I'll be selfish… and I'll keep you to myself."
"I thought… you'd said this would be on my terms," Azula said, frowning. Sokka breathed deeply. "If my terms stipulate that you'd better get lost…"
"You'll have to convince me that's what you want," Sokka said. "You're supposed to be a better liar than that."
Azula gritted her teeth: Sokka leaned closer, a hand above her on the wall. She shook her head.
"Get out," she said. Sokka pressed his brow to hers.
"I won't leave you," he whispered. Azula snarled, more tears blooming in her eyes.
"You'll regret it if you don't," she said, with a slight sob. "I already regret enough things as it is…"
"I regret enough things too. Like not running to you in Omashu as soon as I saw how beautiful you were," Sokka said. Azula winced, confused by his claim. "Or fighting you when I had to, when I just wanted to get to know your name. Or resisting against you, when all I wanted to do was surrender. Pinning you to walls without kissing you senseless… leaving you behind in prisons, or temples, instead of reaching out to you and hoping you'd want to come along."
"I wouldn't have. Ever;" Azula said, firmly.
"No, you wouldn't have," Sokka said, with a smirk. "But I should have tried, anyway."
Azula gritted her teeth: he was infuriating. The way he spoke, the way he looked at her… all of it urged her to do the one thing she was resisting constantly, more so upon remembering, realizing, what a betrayal she had committed against Yue. But that was just who she was, wasn't it? The shameless fool who hurt everyone she cared for, who kept proving over and over that she wasn't worth their time… their love.
She snarled, raising her hands to grab Sokka's shirt. The expression on his eyes gave away that he expected her to shove him off, to reject him even though he intended to stay near her, to ensure she wouldn't run away or do anything reckless…
But she could certainly do something insanely reckless by pushing him violently.
Sokka gasped, falling heavily on his back on the bed.
A moment later, Azula climbed over him, her mouth ravenously claiming his.
It was just one last go… one final taste of the forbidden. What was one more? She was a traitor already. She had done something unforgivable as it was. If Yue would forgive her for the first slight, she'd have to forgive the second one too. If she wouldn't forgive her at all, what did it matter, in the end, if she fell into bed with him a second time?
She would be selfish. She would peel off his clothes, she would kiss him fiercely, she would devour his body much as he would do the same to hers, and then they would grind together lustfully, recklessly, knowing their time was limited, that every second that passed as they were entangled together brought them closer to the last. Her body shouldn't have been able to take it, after so much passion and excitement from mere hours ago… but she gave herself to him, regardless, one more time, and then another, and then…
She fell asleep in his arms. She couldn't tell he wasn't even close to dozing off yet once she was unconscious, eyes still open for a while longer as he clung to her firmly, refusing to let her go.
________________
The dark forces gripped her, holding her down, as they always did. Her hair no longer properly groomed, instead running loosely, spilling white, all around her body. But it was paler than before. Everything was darker, as though the restraints were spreading from farther away from where they had begun…
Azula gasped. She was part of this, whatever it was. She could feel Yue's lifeforce, somehow, beating in her own heart. Her guilt reared its head, but it grew even worse at the sight of her in such distress…
"Yue," she called: the Water Tribe Princess raised her head, her blue eyes meeting hers. "Yue… I…!"
"Go," Yue said, her voice tender and earnest. "Leave, before he returns. Go. I'll be fine."
"What? N-no, I… I can get you out. I will get you out, I… I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I…"
A cruel cackle: Yue's face paled further. Azula winced, recognizing the panic in Yue's features. She shook her head.
"Wake up. Wake up. Azula, please wake up…!"
"Yuuuueeeee!"
Azula gasped awake, eyes flying fully open after that unsettling vision… a stranger vision than any that had preceded it. She had never taken such physical shape within dreams… Yue had told her to leave…? To leave before someone else came back? She frowned, uncertainty gripping her chest as deep dread and fear swirled in her gut…
Sokka's arms were still firm around her, but Azula slipped out of his grip without much struggle, if only because he was heavily asleep by now, having passed out at some point after she did.
She couldn't fight the swirling fear in her heart right now, though. Even if she hadn't meant to do this, she had to right now. She would bear with the judgment and the hatred… but she needed to make sure Yue wasn't in danger.
Never had her dreams found any follow up in reality: too often she had seen Yue in darkness, particularly at first. Slowly, the dreams had shifted and she would be restrained by darkness, instead… but seldom would she speak. Never would she express that someone was a threat to Azula's safety. And that shrill laughter, then the deep voice calling her name at the end… they had felt inhumane. Surreal, unnatural…
She pulled her sleeping gown, dressing herself hastily in it and nothing else, before rushing to the bathroom. Dread swirled and threatened to break her as she finally reached the room… as she glanced into the mirror.
A perfectly well-groomed Yue, with no restraints to speak of, smiled at her when Azula finally raised her gaze.
"You… you're okay?" Azula asked. Yue smiled.
"Azula," she said, simply. "Isn't it late? You should be sleeping right now."
"I… I was. I just… had a dream. About you," Azula admitted, frowning. "I didn't really want to see you, whether in dreams or not, but…"
"Oh… huh," Yue said, eyeing her mournfully. "Well, you don't have to talk with me if you'd rather not do it. But I always like talking to you. What happened?"
"Nothing's… no. Sokka is right. Sokka… the bastard is always right when it comes to this kind of shit and I hate that about him, I…" Azula said, covering her face with her hands. "Yue, I'm sorry. I… I'm really sorry. I… I betrayed you."
"Me?" Yue asked, perplexed. "How, exactly…?"
"I… I was intimate with him. With Sokka." Azula gritted her teeth hugging herself, unable to hide the shame. "I was weak! He's… he's far more charming than he has any right to be, and he's affectionate, and kind, and I… I haven't had anyone show me that sort of kindness before. The way he reads me so clearly, the way he challenges me, it all just blurred and blinded me to the fact that… that this would be awful for you. And he says… surely you've overheard things. That you know that he and I… t-that we were fighting some damnable attraction for all this time. But we gave up like fools, and… and I should have told you about this. No, I just…! I shouldn't have done it at all."
Yue remained silent, watching Azula apprehensively. The Fire Nation Princess snarled, shaking her head.
"This isn't what… what a friend should do. I know it's not. I'm not a good friend, Yue. I'm not. You deserve better than this and… and he's an idiot. He deserves better than me too, but hey, if he was down for betraying you this way too? He definitely isn't worthy of you either. No more than I am. So… I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
She had made mistakes she couldn't take back. She had done terrible things Yue would never truly forgive her for. Unfortunately, Yue was still stuck with her despite that…
"It won't happen again," Azula swore, tears surging in her eyes as she said the words. "I… I will know my place. I won't slip up like that again, I promise, I…"
"Azula…" Yue called her, her voice carrying a strange, unusual tone with it. Azula swallowed hard, daring gaze up at the girl in the mirror…
Her expression wasn't that of outrage, or displeasure. Instead, it was…
"How was it?"
Curiosity. That's what it was.
Azula gawked at Yue as her jaw dropped. Yue shifted in place, blue eyes gleaming eagerly in the light of dawn as she waited for Azula to share…
"W-what the fuck? What did you just…? How was it?" Azula asked. Yue pouted. "Are you for real?!"
"I am! I never got that far with Sokka, evidently!" Yue pouted. "We were too young and there was no time and… you know, if I had lived long enough, I would have been happy to test those waters, but it never did happen. So, well, I thought I'd ask you! I hope he was a good lover…"
"You cannot be serious," Azula said: the dread that swirled in her gut seemed to freeze over. Yue blinked blankly.
"Why not? You just slept with him, why would you think I wouldn't be serious about it if you just did it…?" Yue huffed. "And don't start with your silly claims of having higher standards than I do: you're the one who slept with him after all."
"I…! Why are you acting like it doesn't matter that I did this?" Azula asked.
"What? Of course it matters!" Yue exclaimed. "It's very important and I'm really, really… curious. Intrigued. I really wondered if you'd share… but, well, other than a couple of glimpses of you two in the bathroom, I didn't get to see much…"
"T-that's…! That's private! What were you looking at?!" Azula exclaimed, cheeks flushed. Yue chuckled, covering her mouth with a hand.
"Honestly, I was a little curious about a lot of things," she laughed. "But I admit, it got a little too intense after a moment so I covered my eyes and then you were out of my field of vision when you were washing up or so. I only overheard a lot of kissing, and funny moans, and…"
"You might as well just kill me now. Smite me with your moon powers so I can get out of this conversation, please," Azula said, hiding her face behind her hands. Yue giggled.
"You don't understand?" Yue asked. Azula shook her head.
"You love him," Azula said, firmly. "He was supposed to be yours."
"He wasn't supposed to be anyone's," Yue said. Azula frowned. "That's… that's not how love works, Azula. It's up to Sokka to decide who he wants to be with. And right now… it looks like he really, really likes you! I really hope you two will be a great match…"
"Why?" Azula said, her heart pounding in her chest. "Yue, w-why would you…? Please tell me you understand why this makes no sense to me. I… I'm your friend, aren't I? Your first friend, you said? Why would you…?"
Yue gazed at her in perplexity… and then Azula's words seemed to sink in.
She smiled.
"Well… you're not wrong: I love Sokka," Yue said, earnestly. "But… I guess what you don't realize is that I love you too."
Azula froze. Her eyes widened, and she took a step back. Yue smiled warmly, hands by her chest.
"The truth is… well, I might have known more about what was happening between you sooner than you or Sokka knew I did," she said, with a guilty smile. "It's not just what I've overheard of you two when you thought I wasn't listening… it's how much I've grown to know you both. And you know what? I… I know you better than I know Sokka, actually. I didn't realize how little I knew of him until this journey started. I've come to learn so much more of him, of the man he has become, than I ever imagined…"
"Because of this trip?" Azula asked, perplexed. "But even then… you loved him before, didn't you?"
"I looked forward to getting to know more about him. To finding out if… if we were truly a good match or not," Yue laughed, with a shrug. "That can't be anymore. It has been the case for well over ten years now. When he first started out with Suki, well… I saw him hesitate. At first, I was jealous, yes, but… when he pulled away, I realized what the memory of me might do to him, if he couldn't move on. At that point… I couldn't be selfish. I didn't want to be. Instead… I hoped for his happiness. I knew it wasn't up to me to grant it to him anymore… but I hoped Suki could. And then it turned out that she didn't, to both of our surprises… but you? You… you and Sokka are better suited for each other than I ever imagined. So… maybe you're the answer, Azula."
"I… I'm not the answer for anyone. For anything," Azula said, tears spilling down her cheeks again. "It shouldn't be me, Yue, it should be…"
"Nobody gets to decide what should or shouldn't be," Yue said, firmly, if kindly. "Sokka has spent years suffering the guilt over failing to save me in the North Pole, for not defeating Admiral Zhao before he could kill Tui. Do you think it was his fault? Do you think Admiral Zhao was fated to do that, just as he pretended he was?"
"I… I don't know. I… I hope not. I don't think you could have ever been fated to just… die," Azula said, snarling. Yue smiled kindly at her.
"Nobody gets to decide what fate will turn out like for us," she said. "And if it was my fate to live my life with him, and misfortune changed that… then I want Sokka to find happiness in his life, all the same. I want him to find love… and I know he found exactly what he was looking for with you."
"I'm not… n-not worthy of this. Of your understanding," Azula said, covering her face with her hands. "I've been breaking things, constantly, hurting people deliberately, doing awful things without fail…! Why are you so compassionate? Why can you look me in the eye without… without disdain? Without hating me?"
"Because I love you," Yue said again, warmly. Azula shivered, shaking her head. "Because I see you, Azula… I see you so much more clearly than you think I can, stuck in these mirrors and bodies of water and metal. I really do. I've seen the kindness you don't want anyone to witness… the vulnerable sides you hide from those who would exploit them. I've seen your helplessness, your need for a purpose, your loneliness! And there's one thing I've never seen, in this year I've spent by your side: I've never seen a monster."
Azula shivered, her hands lowering as she dropped to her knees: suddenly, it was as though she were the teenager, the child, while Yue was the wise, older figure who could offer her guidance, who could show her the way no one else had ever bothered to point her to. Her throat closed in as she broke down in desperate tears…
She wasn't lying. Yue wasn't lying.
Azula crumbled, a hand upon the mirror, as though wanting to reach her… as though wanting to hug the Moon Spirit, offering her the kindness and compassion she had craved desperately, for so long. To think her mistake had been answered this way… as though it were no mistake whatsoever. As though she had made the right choice to fall in love with Sokka.
"I'm here for you," Yue said, warmly, earnestly. "I want you to be happy. I know just how much this means to you, because… it means just as much for me, too. We really do have so many things in common, Azula… down to even loving the same man. How could I ever blame you for feeling the way you do towards him, when I never could hold back, myself?"
She laughed guiltily, kneeling before Azula too. The Fire Nation Princess's dark hair spilled over her features, but when she raised her face, her eyes were earnest, emotionally charged like never before.
"You… you forgive me for this? You won't… w-won't tell me I can't be with him?" Azula asked. "You think I could…?"
Yue smiled tenderly: she raised her hand… and placed it right against hers. Azula's heart jolted for it.
"I'd be cross with you if you decided not to be with him because of me," Yue smirked slightly. "I don't have a chance with him anymore: you do. Don't waste it."
Azula's heart trembled upon hearing those words. Her generosity made no rational sense to her… but it was a shocking revelation, an offer she couldn't refuse… she wasn't strong enough to do it. She wanted Sokka, she craved him… and she didn't want to lose Yue either. She truly didn't want to. She…
She didn't want Yue to leave. After a year of trying to get rid of her… now Azula didn't want her to leave at all.
"I… I've never had a friend like you," Azula admitted, between sobs. Yue smiled kindly.
"And I haven't had one like you, either," Yue said. "It's kind of… thrilling, isn't it? Exciting?"
Azula trembled as she gazed at her friend, between tearful eyes. It looked like Yue was moments away from crying, too.
"I… I'll keep fulfilling your dream. The purpose you gave me. I promise, even if… i-if Sokka and I do go forward like that, I… I won't set you aside," Azula said. "I promise… I'll keep going. I'll do right by you. I'll take you everywhere… we'll see this world together."
"And you'll live all the experiences I couldn't," Yue said, beaming. "You're still in the material world… you really have to make the most of it. Eat all the wonderful foods… and have fun in the craziest places! Katara once talked about otter penguins in the South Pole… you and Sokka should go see them! And maybe even ride them…!"
"That sounds unreal. Riding a penguin…?" Azula repeated, and Yue laughed while nodding enthusiastically.
"She said it was doable, so I hope it is," she said. "You went swimming already, and you tried to build sandcastles…"
"They weren't anything noteworthy," Azula smiled. Yue giggled and shrugged.
"There's bound to be so much more… oh! You promised you'd try to see me in a drink!" Yue exclaimed. Azula laughed. "I want to try that too. Maybe I won't get drunk at all, but I could act like I am, and then maybe it'll be funny anyway."
"It might be," Azula said, earnestly. Yue grinned. "You… you want me to live my life. To… to actually live it, rather than sulking over what I lost, or trying to find petty revenges? To… to finally close the door to those stages of my life that… that no longer can be fixed? You can't reclaim what you lost, and neither can I… but we can look for a new future. Maybe one that… that you could be a part of, too."
"That would be wonderful," Yue said, with a heartfelt, pained smile. "But as it is… I'll just go on and experience life through you, somehow. That's enough for me, for now."
Azula shivered, nodding as she pressed her hand to the reflection of hers. Yue grinned kindly.
"I'm glad…" Yue whispered. "I'm really glad it was you. That the one person who could see me… was you."
Sokka had said those words first. He had told her he was glad Yue had connected to Azula, of all people… Azula's heart pounded heavily in her chest as she felt more tears spilling down her eyes: they loved her. They thought she mattered. They cared about her… in ways no one else ever had.
"I'm glad too," she finally said. "I'm glad I… I'm glad I can see you. I'm glad you're with me. I'm glad you're okay and not… n-not like in my damnable dreams where you're always in pain. I… I won't subject you to my nonsense with Sokka, I promise, but… please, stay with us. Stay. No matter how my bond with him might change, you… you're someone I treasure. I don't even know how it happened, or when, but I just… I really care about you, Yue. I…"
She couldn't believe herself. She laughed, pressing her brow to the glass as she knew the sentiment to be true. To be true to one more person, too, besides the one she would speak it to now. And while the feeling certainly could have different natures, and she was experiencing those differences already, the truth was one and one alone:
"I love you, too."
Yue giggled, beaming brightly upon hearing those words from Azula. The Princess smiled back at her, her tears finally drying as the darkness that wore her out, that dragged her down, seemed to slowly relinquish its grip upon her heart.
Just as the sun was rising, Azula's vision cleared. She saw Yue over her reflection's shoulder, and the heavy guilt, the unpleasant thoughts and emotions that had dragged her down faded away with astounding ease…
"Thank you," Azula said. Yue giggled again.
"I'm the one who's grateful," she said. "Now, though… might be good if you go back to Sokka. He might be scared that you're leaving him if he wakes up without you."
"He… oh, well," Azula smiled warmly. "He'll see that's not the case soon, I guess. I… I'll go fetch the mirror first, though. He threw it somewhere, I hope it didn't break…"
"Oh, I can tell you where it is once you come closer to it, like we did with the coins!" Yue exclaimed, beaming. Azula laughed and nodded.
"Very well."
It was a rather amusing quest, one Azula undertook with a cup of drinking water in her hands. Whenever Yue felt herself slipping into another reflection, she'd let Azula know and the Princess would rummage through the foliage and bushes to look for the mirror… until, at last, they found it sunken halfway into a small cluster of fortunately soft sand. It was intact. Azula grinned at Yue in it, drinking the water to quench her thirst, but not to chase her friend away, unlike how she used to do it before…
She was halfway back into the house, making up her mind to talk to Sokka about what happened with Yue, when she overheard a cluttering sound in the kitchen. The Princess frowned, a sense of dread rising in her chest: well, it was one thing to sort out her problems with Yue and Sokka, a whole other to deal with her mother, the likeliest culprit for those sounds…
At least, she thought so until she reached the kitchen to find Ursa, wearing an apron, her hair fastened awkwardly underneath a bandana, struggling to cook something in the stove.
Azula watched in perplexity, intrigued by her mother's clumsy kitchen work. Apparently, she wasn't a good cook… but how, exactly, had she survived in Hira'a with her new husband without knowing how to do that? Azula watched with confusion after Ursa cracked an egg and dropped half the crust in the frying pan.
"Not again…" she groaned, struggling to remove the crust with her fingertips.
"Guess we have one thing in common after all," Azula said, startling Ursa upon speaking to her. The woman turned nervously, finding Azula with a small smile, almost too small to be noticed, leaning on the door frame.
"Azula?" Ursa whispered her name with uncertainty. "You're… already awake."
"Need to dress up, though. Didn't expect you this early," Azula said, lowering her gaze: strange how her conversation with Yue had placated so much of her strife… to the point where her earlier unwillingness to be anywhere near her mother, and her immense guilt over her longing for Sokka, were suddenly, blissfully, gone… "I'd offer to stick around and help but I wouldn't be much use. All I can do effectively in a kitchen is… pour togarashi chili powder in tea, apparently. The one time I did anything related to cooking and the result was exactly what I intended it to be."
"I… do not follow," Ursa admitted, puzzled. Azula smiled and shook her head.
"I'll be back in a moment," she said. Ursa swallowed hard and nodded.
Sokka was still in bed once Azula returned to her room. She sat by the bedside for a moment, caressing his loose hair, before leaning close to kiss his brow softly.
"Hmm…?" he groaned. Azula smiled.
"Stay in bed. It's okay," she said.
"You okay…? Feels… damn early," Sokka said.
"I'll try and do something about breakfast," she said, brushing his hair out of his face. "You can sleep for a while longer."
"Hmm. 'Kay…" Sokka said, opening one eye and gazing at her with curiosity. "You… alright?"
"I'll explain later," Azula smiled.
She leaned in, and she pressed her lips softly to his. Sokka would truly be confused over her clarity, her tranquility… but he would likely understand where it had come from shortly. First, though, she had to handle her mother… and while she would cherish having Sokka's support during that conversation, it might be better if she faced Ursa alone. She had put Sokka through enough of an emotional ride since the past day, as it was.
"Sleep. I'll come fetch you in a bit."
"Okay…" Sokka said, with a gentle smile. "See you in a bit."
Azula breathed out slowly, watching over him as he closed his eyes again. She truly should tell him soon, too… just as she had told Yue. It was strange, going from never uttering those words to anyone… to suddenly hearing them from two people who had elicited the same feelings inside her, too. Love truly was a confusing, if fascinating thing…
She returned to the kitchen to find her mother anguished by her burning rice this time. Azula sighed, tending the flames and restraining them so Ursa wouldn't struggle as much… but it appeared to be pointless.
"I'm so helpless at chores like these… it's unbefitting of me, I know that, but I truly thought…" Ursa sighed.
"Did you not cook when you were living in Hira'a?" Azula asked "Or did you swap out memories somehow? While you're Noriko, you don't remember Ursa, and while you're Ursa…"
"No, no, I remember everything from both lives right now. Which means I remember I was in charge of cleaning while Noren handled the food," Ursa said, with a guilty smile. Azula laughed softly. "I hope Sokka is a better cook than us, if you truly aren't much of one, yourself."
"He's… not," Azula admitted, with a guilty chuckle. Ursa sighed, shaking her head.
"Well, may you always have ready foods to eat whenever you're hungry, if cooking is too hard," Ursa said. "I… well, wanted to make some things that aren't working out, of course. I'll keep trying, though! I brought many ingredients…"
"You really didn't have to bother," Azula said, taking her seat by the kitchen's table: Ursa truly had brought a pile of ingredients with her, most of them resting on the table in question.
"You may say that, but… I disagree," Ursa said, proudly. "I wanted to make… well, spice rice."
"Spice rice?" Azula raised her eyebrows, turning towards Ursa in confusion. "For breakfast?"
"I know, I know… a complicated conundrum," Ursa smiled guiltily. "I remember you asked for it, once. When we were staying in this house, during vacations. I told you spice rice was a meal for lunch or dinner, not breakfast…"
"And then we didn't have it for lunch, or dinner anyway," Azula remarked, with a slight pout. "Was it because you couldn't cook it?"
"More… because I had other ideas for meals in mind," Ursa confessed. Azula raised an eyebrow. "Servants helped with our meals back then, as you'll recall… I didn't really have to make anything. But I was terribly stubborn about certain things… still am, I suppose. And instead of listening to you… I did whatever I cared to and thought you were the selfish one instead."
Azula's eyes widened. Ursa sighed, smiling sadly at her.
"I won't ask you to forgive me, Azula. The spirits know I'm truly sorry, and that you're not wrong about so much of what you said last night," she said. "I knew I wasn't the best mother I could have been… but the true extent of the harm I caused you had never truly sunken in. If you felt any guilt over what you said, or how you said it… I assure you, you had every right to be as clear, as forthright, as you were. It was time I stopped pretending that I could hide from my worst mistakes the way I have for over a decade now."
"Well… that's not really what I expected to hear, but I'd rather hear that than 'you're just unreasonable and unfair', or so," Azula said, watching as Ursa sighed, stepping closer to her, standing beside her by the table.
"I don't want you to think I have excuses. Nothing I say would ever justify what I did to you, or what I didn't do, as the case might be," Ursa said. "But… the truth is, my failure to resolve our conflicts has been taking a greater toll on me than I was ready to acknowledge."
"That so?" Azula asked, raising an eyebrow. Ursa offered her a sad smile before pulling up a chair, too.
"You wondered… why I'm alone in Ember Island?"
Azula frowned: she wasn't sure that any answer to that question would satisfy her, or aid her mother's case…
"Thing is… I thought I could sort out this emptiness inside me," Ursa smiled, shaking her head as she gestured at her chest. "I thought I could do it by… by confronting your father. By visiting him in prison and telling him exactly what kind of heinous monster he was. By calling out what a selfish, heartless bastard he had been, and how he had hurt our children without remorse… I was right about everything I said, of course. And at first, I felt better. A slight relief, maybe, enough that I could hold Kiyi again without the same kind of dread as before…
"But a week later, it was back. Even if Kiyi didn't hate me as much for no longer being the mother she remembered, the unsettling feeling inside my gut couldn't seem to go away. And my mind kept returning to that moment, to standing at his prison cell, speaking out as I did… his accusing glare gave away that he didn't care about any of what I was saying. As though he thought it was… well, rich, I suppose, that I would say any of that. And once I realized why that bothered me… it hit me that every word I'd spoken against your father could so very easily be turned against me."
Azula froze, a fist tightening over her lap. Ursa gazed at her remorsefully.
"He was selfish… but so was I," Ursa said. "He was a monster? Well… a mother who forsakes her children ought to proudly own up to being one, too. I left you with the monster, too, so… I'm not blameless. I'm not simply his victim… I'm responsible for the pain you and Zuko felt under his control. And what's more, when it comes down to it… I'm to blame for so much more than that. I didn't do right by you, Azula, not even as you were a child. I… I painted a target on Zuko's back that caused Ozai to treat him as though he weren't his son! I… I could've done so many things differently, and I didn't. So, with so much that weighed on me, what right do I have to judge anyone else? Even if nothing I did compares to waging war upon the world… ultimately, I was far from the best person to pass judgment on Ozai when I was his accomplice at times, a willing witness, even…"
"Were you truly that?" Azula asked, perplexed. Ursa shrugged.
"I don't think anyone would judge it any differently than that, considering it was by my poison that your grandfather was killed," Ursa said. Azula's eyes widened.
"Huh. Well, then… that's somewhat close to what I suspected, I suppose," Azula said, frowning.
"Do I really get the right to pass judgment on anyone else when I'm responsible for something so heinous? I kept giving your father weapons to use as he pleased… even when you and Zuko weren't weapons at all, that's all he ever saw you as," Ursa said, shaking her head. "And while I doubt I could have stopped him, even if I'd tried… the truth is that I never really did. I pretended you would be safe because he preferred you over your brother… that you were no cause for concern when that couldn't have been further from the truth. I abandoned you, and… I can't even make up for it. I can't turn back time to fix that. My guilt, my remorse, my misery… Noren and Kiyi don't understand it. Zuko? Oh, he's… he's even worse, I'm afraid."
"Zuko is?" Azula asked, perplexed. Ursa shook her head.
"He has bottled up his feelings about what I did. He acts like he's fine with it. If he truly is, he's in dire need for a rude awakening," Ursa whispered. "And if he's not fine? Then he ought to do what you did and just… tell me everything. Just like Ozai does."
"Ozai?" Azula repeated, her chest tightening at the present way her mother spoke his name… she had never felt quite such sense of dread upon thinking of her father before. "What do you mean, 'does'? Do you…?"
"Do I visit him, still?" Ursa said, with a helpless smile. "Weekly. Sometimes more often than that."
"W-why? Why would you…?" Azula grimaced.
"Because he's the only person who won't mind my feelings and will tell me everything he thinks of me," Ursa laughed, smiling helplessly. "Despicable as he is… he's so much more honest than everyone else. And I need to hear the truth… I need it so badly, Azula. I'd rather be called every insult, every name he can think of, because I can just go ahead and do it right back at him. It's twisted, it's messed up… but I feel so much more alive, so much more real when I'm there, facing my true sins and flaws instead of pretending I never did anything wrong and that Zuko is right to act as though that's the case. When I sit at home, with Noren and Kiyi… they don't understand that I don't belong there. That I'm not Noriko anymore… not the person they need me to be. And the truth is… I don't even know who I am. Not anymore."
"And you came to Ember Island thinking you'd figure it out?" Azula asked. Ursa sighed.
"I come to Ember Island whenever I'm… overwhelmed, I guess, with the pretenses and the undeserved peace," she said. "They're used to it by now. I've been doing it for years. I take breaks… I try to meditate here, and then inevitably return to bad habits upon returning to the Capital. I know I should stop visiting Ozai, but… it's hard to help it. It's twisted to find that I appreciate him far more now than I ever did when he wasn't behind bars…"
"Well. Nice to know my parents are getting along great lately by screaming and calling names at each other," Azula said, crooking an eyebrow. Ursa sighed, with a hopeless smile.
"I wish I knew… how to do away with this strange urge to be around something that punishes me. I want to make use of this guilt, Azula… to turn it into something useful instead of moping with it or making anyone uncomfortable. You, in particular, I… I want to help you. I want to fix what I broke. I can't really do it, I know I can't… but I wish I could. If I can't do anything about the past, maybe I can about the future, I thought, but… that hinges on whether you'd ever want me to be part of it, too."
"Of my future?" Azula asked. "You do remember that I'm a wanted criminal, right?"
"I intend to have a word with your brother about that as soon as possible," Ursa said, with a frown. "He told me he was hunting you down to bring you home, strictly that. This you said about… his bounty hunters killing you? I cannot possibly fathom… I will have words with him about that, I promise."
"Well… if he'd listen to someone, it'd be you, I think, but who knows," Azula sighed, running a hand over her hair. "He thought I'd captured Sokka, so he thought I deserved to die for it, apparently. Dead or alive, says the poster…"
"Unbelievable," Ursa scowled.
"I had no intentions of letting him get to me. Though I don't know what else awaits me in the future besides… well, traveling more. Yue would want to…"
"Yue?"
Azula gritted her teeth: this would be difficult. She wasn't exactly trying to argue that her mental health was fine, but her mother was bound to want to lock her up in that asylum again if she thought she was hallucinating once more…
But she had to be honest. Ursa had been, so far. She might just surprise her.
"I told you I… I'd seen you in visions and dreams and reflections, right?" Azula said. Ursa nodded. "I was… well, in a bad place. After I found out the truth about you? Well, that ended. I didn't see you anywhere anymore. It helped, admittedly… I was no longer plagued by some random delusion telling me my future was going to be glorious… felt like even the hallucination had given up on me, heh. But then, about a year ago… I started seeing another person. Someone I didn't know. And it's… well, the Moon Spirit. Princess Yue."
Ursa frowned, though not with disgust. She seemed intrigued, instead.
"Sokka… well, he had a short-lived relationship with her, when they were teenagers. She died to take the Moon Spirit's place after Zhao killed it," Azula explained. Ursa gasped, covering her mouth with a hand. "So, well, she's a sixteen-year-old girl, basically, and she's been showing up in every reflection I see. In dreams, too, even if not all of them. At first, I just… wanted to get rid of her. But then, after I bumped into Sokka in the north? The two of them convinced me that if we tried to fulfill all of Yue's final wishes, mainly to see the world through our travels, well… we might just be able to offer her the peace she needs so she can return to her duties as the Moon Spirit properly, and the moon can glow fully again in the sky."
"Is that why… it's been so faded?" Ursa asked. Azula nodded. "My goodness…"
"I've… stopped causing as much trouble with my antics lately because I've been busy with this. Though, uh, I did cause a slight mishap in Ba Sing Se," Azula admitted, with an awkward smile. "That's what I was talking about earlier. I, uh, sabotaged one of Iroh's workdays by briefly infiltrating his teashop and pouring spice in all his teacups…"
"Azula…!" Ursa gasped. Azula smiled guiltily and shrugged.
"I don't have any excuses. It was a petty revenge, and I thought it was funny at the time…"
"It… oh, goodness, all those customers…" Ursa gasped, running a hand over her hair. Azula snickered. "You're so mischievous still, goodness, but… that's not exactly an act of terrorism. Just… a prank."
"Well, thank you. If Zuko returns to the Palace by the time you get there, please advocate in my defense by saying so," Azula smiled. "I got captured for it, Sokka and his friend Toph broke me out eventually. He and I ran away, and I suppose Zuko showed up at some point after we left and sent his soldiers after us. We figured, once Yue asked to see the summer, that we could come to the Fire Nation to show her the place while Zuko wasn't around… I didn't exactly intend to bump into you."
"Nor I into you… but I'm glad I did," Ursa said, warmly. Azula sighed.
"This is our most civilized conversation for as long as we've known each other, isn't it?" she said. Ursa smiled sadly and nodded.
"I'm afraid so," she said. "I'm glad you've found Sokka, and Yue… that they're both helping you. Maybe I wouldn't have been as effective as they have been… doesn't change that I should have tried anyway. But that you have such good friends is… uh, well. I suppose Sokka is more than a friend…"
"I don't know what's going on any more than you do, so… don't overthink it," Azula said, cheeks flushing. Ursa laughed.
"Well, as long as you're happy…" she said. "If you want any advice…"
"Relationship advice? From you?" Azula asked. Ursa shrugged.
"Learn to cook," she said. Azula snorted and laughed. "Also? If some prince tries to steal you away from him, well… don't let him."
"I have the feeling Sokka would be too threatening for anyone to… well, I'm too threatening for anyone who would want to take me anywhere," Azula said, rolling her eyes. "In itself… I have no idea how he's ever convinced himself that I'm worth, well, everything he's done for me. He had a life of his own, and he gave up on it fully just to join me on this journey."
"Maybe, just as he's helping you figure out who you are, you're helping him do the same thing without your awareness," Ursa smiled fondly at her. Azula raised her eyebrows. "That would be suitable, I hope. He's definitely taken with you."
"And like I said, I have no idea how," Azula shook her head. "I haven't been exactly the sweetest person in the world…"
"He might like you better because you're not," Ursa suggested. Azula laughed, shrugging at her idea.
"He's weird if that's how it is, but fine," she said, cheeks still red over discussing her romantic attachments in this way, and to discuss it with her mother, of all things… "You… you feel lost too, though? That's why you came here?"
"Well, yes, but… focus on yourself, Azula. If I never sort out whatever's messed up in my head, it'll be nothing less than I deserve," Ursa said, with a defeated smile.
"You're not serious," Azula sighed. "You… you could come with us too."
Ursa's eyes widened. Azula grimaced, rubbing the bridge of her nose after words she hadn't intended to say spilled out of her mouth.
"I mean… you and I probably have more things to talk about and resolve. And I would expect you to handle it with full honesty too, just as I'll be as blunt as you need me to be. If you're getting nowhere with Father, and of course you aren't… well, you could join us, maybe. Sokka might be fine with… w-well, I mean, we'll behave ourselves. I'm sure that he can show some restraint…"
"Hopefully," Ursa laughed. "Though, truly, I welcome the offer, but I wouldn't want to tag along just like that, Azula. I'm not sure where I'd fit in your group, and I really wouldn't want to cause you any trouble…"
"You wouldn't, I think, but… maybe it's time we stop screaming at each other and start actually looking for solutions," Azula decided: she didn't know where this good-natured, reasonable behavior was coming from… but she guessed it might just be Yue's influence, shining through her in its own way.
"You… you're sure?" Ursa asked, with a small smile. "I… well, wait. I might need to make a more compelling argument yet to truly earn joining you on this journey."
"What?" Azula smirked, as Ursa excitedly rummaged through her bags, the numerous shopping goods she had brought… before depositing a box in front of Azula.
"I would try to make them myself, but… I don't know how, as you've noticed. And I really didn't want to mess that up, particularly," Ursa smiled. Azula frowned, reaching for the box and opening it.
"You did not…" she gasped.
A cluster of mochi sat snugly inside the box, catching the fallen Princess by surprise entirely. Ursa laughed.
"You were going to buy me over with mochi. You… you are dangerous. Clever. I definitely take after you, this is the most effective manipulation technique anyone's used on me," Azula said: her stomach growled, and she only realized how hungry she was now that she had a chance to eat mochi to her heart's content.
"Try to… pace yourself. But it's okay if you don't, too," Ursa smiled sadly. "I owe you quite a lot of mochi, for all the times I forbade you from eating any. Those stomachaches of your childhood were something to behold…"
"They may have been, but this is… oh, I'm not holding back. I'm not strong enough. Sorry," Azula shook her head, picking up the first mochi and nearly dropping fully on the table in sheer bliss at the taste. "Coerced… by mochi. I'm so easily bought and paid for…"
Ursa laughed fondly, smiling at her daughter in a way she most likely hadn't before: what had changed in Azula through the night had opened the gates, the possibilities, of a true and proper reconciliation between them… and Ursa wouldn't waste that chance. She meant to make the most of Azula's offer, even if she'd have to send word to Noren and Kiyi about where she'd go…
She had been moments away from saying as much to Azula, proposing to go into town for a messenger hawk, when the front door blasted open violently.
The placid mood between mother and daughter, as they amended their estranged bond slowly, froze entirely when that abrupt noise caught them off guard. Azula jumped upright again, wanting more mochi but deciding to wait and assess this threat, instead…
She froze in place when a squad of Imperial Firebenders filed into the kitchen's area, hands raised threateningly.
"What…?" Azula gasped. Ursa snarled, stepping forward.
"What's the meaning of this?!" she asked: then it wasn't Ursa's doing that they were here? It couldn't be. She wouldn't have been so dishonest and shrewd, Azula would have picked up on it if there had been any subterfuge in her demeanor so far…
But no soldier responded to Ursa's demand for an explanation. Instead, someone else stepped out from among them. His hairpiece glowed under the rising sunlight, his cloak fluttering haughtily in his wake…
Azula's stomach sank. There was no way he was here now… no way he had tracked her down all the way here.
And yet Zuko stood before her and Ursa, a heavy scowl upon his face as he locked glares with his sister.
"Finally," he hissed, his tone foreboding and hostile. "Was about time you turned up, Azula."
#sokkla saturdays 2023#sokklasaturdays#sokkla#sokka#azula#with a hint of teasing toko this time around#I have not done enough with that ship in my life so what can I say#mostly for comedy's sake#messing with Zuko should not be as fun as it is#also this is where the ssssmut is at#so if you wanted this story to go there here you go (?)#lots of plot twists in this one I think#and a likely surprising new addition to the story's cast#mostly surprising since I doubt most people expected me to ever bring her in voluntarily#but#we have learned to say fuck it to the comics in respect of her bland characterization#and give her proper dignity and respect#so I hope you guys shall enjoy her!#and I hope you guys will enjoy the whole chapter tbh#might be my favorite of the whole story...
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