#also this is like the only time im gonna write anything vaguely ship-ish with manfred and another character

[karmas-chameleon]

Did my Manfred pillow need a story based on it? Probably not.

...but I wrote one anyway

Manfred von Karma had been summoned to the police station by its chief, who had assured him his presence was necessary for the good of the city, for his own career, and possibly for the sake of justice itself. The prosecutor had come to expect that the further the police chief exaggerated the importance of a visit, the more useless it ended up being. And yet, he made the trip there anyway.

He arrived to see a photoshoot in progress, along with Damon Gant wearing only his swim trunks. He wasn't the only one, either, as several other scantily clad officers were at the scene. Before he could make his exit, Gant rushed to stop him.

“Wait, Manny! It's for a good cause! You wouldn't turn down a charity event, would you? Have a heart.”

Despite himself, he turned around just before the door. “Charity? Is the police department truly so destitute that you've resorted to stripping for cash?”

“Oh, it isn't like that. We aren't simply taking our clothing off for the public.” Gant clapped his hands together and grinned. “We're making a calendar! To sell to the public. And all the proceeds go to…to some important cause or another.”

Standing behind Gant, Detective Gumshoe in his usual trenchcoat (and little else) stepped forward. “It's, er, for officers wounded in the line of duty, and their families. Sir.”

Gant nodded. “Ah, yes. An important cause indeed. And, as an added bonus, this fundraiser will also help build a connection with the community. To let them see us as more than just law enforcement, but also-”

“Also as fools,” Manfred grumbled. “Your little charity event sounds idiotic, and I don't understand why you saw the need to invite me over to witness it.”

“Oh! Did I leave that out? How silly of me.” Gant’s grin suddenly took on a more mischievous look. “We needed someone to play a criminal in our photoshoot. It wouldn't do to have an officer in that role, would it? And we can't exactly take someone out of a cell just to get some glamor shots.”

Manfred shot him a glare. “And you thought it would be a good idea to have me posing as- as what? A murderer you're arresting?”

“We never specified a crime in particular. All we need is for you to pose in handcuffs for a picture, maybe look a bit threatening in another. You won't even need to take your clothes off.”

“What sort of impact do you expect this will have on my reputation? Showing a prosecutor as some vile criminal in a pinup calendar, it's utter nonsense. If you're so concerned with building a connection between the police and the community, what about the rest of the justice system?”

Gant frowned, and slowly walked over to Manfred. “Now, now, Manny. I think it would be better that the public sees you as playing the criminal in a silly photoshoot, rather than…”

The chief of police lowered his voice to a whisper. Though nobody aside from the two of them could hear what was spoken, the look of terror on Manfred's face said enough. 

“How…how do you know-”

“Nevermind about ‘how’, Manny,” Gant smiled. “Let's just focus on the photoshoot. Don't tell me you're still too heartless to help with charity?”

“...Fine.”

---

Weeks later, Manfred was summoned to Damon Gant's office. Once again, it was absolutely vital, and once again, the prosecutor reluctantly came to be tormented by his associate.

As he walked into the office, there was another figure slumped beside Gant. Not a person, but a pillow, though it bore the picture of a man upon its fabric. 

It was him.

“I thought- you told me-” Manfred stammered, taken aback by the sight of himself. “You were making a calendar. For charity. Not…this.”

Gant gave him a wide smile. “And we did make a calendar for the department. A smashing success, I should say. But we also made other merchandise with the photos that were available. Well, only the one bit of merchandise, really. It's a body pillow!” He reached down and grabbed the thing, holding it tight to his chest. “Great for hugging. Fits on the bed well, too.”

“You're a dead man, Damon.”

“Well, I'll have to make sure to avoid taking any elevators when you're around, hmm?”

Manfred only scowled in response.

“Too soon? Sorry about that. But I do have something for you, aside from a look at my new pillow.” He set the handcuffed Manfred down and picked up something else - a calendar. “A copy for you, free of charge. Consider it a thank you for your help.”

Manfred stared down at the thing. He didn't want it, of course. But he tore it out of Gant's gloved hand regardless.

“Now, I should mention, this copy is a special one.”

“Special? What, did you autograph it?”

“Ooh, I should have, shouldn't I?” Gant twirled a finger around his hair thoughtfully. “But no, this simply has different pictures. Some outtakes, some extras. A little more focus on certain subjects. You'll see.”

“It’s a bold assumption to think I'll even open this, Damon. It'll end up in a landfill before the week is out.”

With that, Manfred turned around and exited, slamming the office door shut. He walked out of the building, holding the calendar like a piece of particularly offensive garbage the entire way.

And when he was in his car, he flipped through it, finding only photos of the police chief inside.