#also this is just a personal nitpick that he responded to my prompt saying “taking pictures of myself makes me super uncomfortable”

[exaltedgrimleal]

but why do some people have the audacity?

when i was twenty, i went on one date with this guy in my college program. it went fine, and we were getting along, but i didnt want things to progress and it ended with me kind of cutting ties with him

only for this guy to follow me on instagram and unfollow me

at least three times

once per year

and this only stopped because i blocked him because stop?

so now it's seven years later and this guy stumbles upon my dating app profile, under a different name and different pictures, and he decides to send me a super like

sir i promise you the answer is and will always be no

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

idk if requests are open, or if this even counts as a request or more of a prompt for u to ramble, but how do you think mozart and theodorus would react to an mc who used to be friendly towards them pulling away, and finding out somehow that it's because they were too hostile and mc gave up (in the context of them secretly liking mc and being tsundere jerks). tysm in advance!!

Requests are open! I talk about just about anything ikevamp related on this blog, so nws in regards to that~

I guess I took this as a prompt to ramble so hopefully you enjoy this meme energy 💛💛💛💛

And well, I'm a little conflicted about this one--largely because I see two possible (most likely) outcomes. I think it depends on their feelings for the MC in question, as I get the vibe that they are willing to make the effort if they deem it worthwhile in the long run (perhaps a bit callous, but hey, what can I say). If they feel they can't see eye to eye with the MC long term, then I doubt they would pursue the matter much further.

If there is enough grounding for them to want to salvage the relationship, I think they would both make some effort to make amends tbh. They may have trouble saying it directly, but I guess I see them as men of action--they'll adjust their behavior, and that speaks volumes. Maybe they hesitate before something harsher slips, changing the course of what they were going to say. Maybe they smooth over a mistake she makes before anyone can notice, saving her that social discomfort. Maybe they don't nitpick what she does anymore, just note adjustments neutrally (the tonal difference of "you clod, you're going to ruin it if you hold it that way" versus "try holding it like this, it's easier to carry and poses less risk of damage if you drop it"). I guess my impression is that they tend to be subtle when it comes to their emotional landscape; if you don't pay close attention, you could miss it.

But. BUT. If you point out any difference in their behavior. They will look away and scowl/blush which is frankly, beyond hilarious (but don't do it too much or they'll get mad, you gotta go for the spicy moments to expose them italian hand thing). I imagine that, whether they admit it or not, they do notice if you see past the surface and appreciate that you care they're trying. It helps them move from very acerbic to a more lowkey kind of pragmatism that's less biting. Tbh I'm just a shithead and would probably tease them to near death because I'm very familiar with that sort of behavior, but I also understand not everyone is comfortable with that ;;;

I think it’s less that they refuse to make amends for troublesome behavior, and more that they have a lot of paralyzing shame associated with honesty (and they don’t much like being vulnerable ;;;;). For Theodorus, I think he’s deeply traumatized by how hard his brother tries to be a good and fair person, only to remain ridiculed and ignored by the people around him at large. There’s a sense of a male culture dominated by the concept that gentleness is only an extension of weakness, and as such he feels the need to overcompensate to defend Vincent. The rough exterior serves both as an insistence that he is a grown man (parental infantilization) but also to demand people’s respect, ripping them to verbal shreds when he sees fit for survival.

Mozart’s is more obviously a defense mechanism; he rejects people and sees the worst in them before they can do that to him. I don’t think he’s as malicious by nature as he seems. I think it’s more that he’s accustomed to and self-imposes impossible standards of self-control. The emotional repression, terrible (also unpredictable) experiences at the hands of his father as a boy genius, and relentless inability to see his own value separated from his work ethic results in a man who is inevitably dissociated from his reality. He has no concept of worth beyond functionality, and no concept of worth beyond giving to a self-emptying extent. So much of his life is a kind of hyperanxious denial and paranoid shame, and it’s a pity considering his immense potential for warmth and love.

I suppose I get the inclination that they both really just need to be slapped upside the head a little ahlskfjdhsgsfdkhj. I'm not typically one that likes that method of getting through to people, but it's an unfortunate result of some forms of abuse. Sometimes people need very direct and very intense rearranging of their face holes to see the limited nature of their perspectives. Though I will say context matters: some people need very gentle, some people need more persistent measures.

(Please note: sometimes people do not want to change, and if they don’t want to, they won’t--that’s just a waste of time imo. No amount of arguing or altruism will get through in that scenario ;;;;;; but since this is an otome it’s easier to give the benefit of the doubt. Honestly I find myself torn a lot because I don't? Like giving up on people who struggle with things like that. But at the same time, I don't necessarily think it's worthwhile to beg for someone to be kinder/more aware when they have zero desire to.)

I can't really speak to Theodorus as much but I think somebody who is with him would have to be somebody who is less put off by his jagged edges ;;;;;;;; I don't think it's wrong to be sensitive to it, but the reality is that he has a hard time toning it down sometimes because of his habits. It's a part of being with him, though I think he softens considerably over time in a relationship. I see it is as a kind of balancing act. His s/o would have to be firm about the times he's well and truly unfair, goes too far with what he says/does. And his s/o would likely need to let go or just tease him about the more harmless nonsense, taking it in stride. It's about knowing when to throw a punch and when to breeze by (float like a butterfly, sting like a bee).

Mozart I'm ngl is just Pride and Prejudice material, Mr.Darcy ass. He literally just needs somebody who will read him for utter filth in the classiest way possible, until he has no choice but to strut on his walk of shame saying "you dropped this, queen 👑". I find it a little funny because as long as you roast him in a true way, half the time he isn’t even mad, just sheepish. I find him to be a unique case between the two of them because he's more guarded than reactive. As soon as he knows his s/o is willing to hear him out and talk to him if they have some kind of misunderstanding, he doesn't really go for the throat anymore. Just gets kind of 👉👈, needs some time to figure out how to broach the topic (or Jeanne slides in to mediate a little bit). His development is more of a slow upward track to more normal and very affectionate interaction.

Of the two, I think Mozart might be the best bet for the type of person you mentioned. He has a lot of capacity for responding with penitence when it's due, and acknowledging when he messes up. Theo needs a lot of control, and I think it's fair if some people can't handle the overbearing nature of it at points.

[statusquoergo]

tl;dr: WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Buckle up, everyone, this is one hell of a ride.

Open on Harvey entering the living room just as Donna’s getting off the phone with her father, plus two cups of coffee to set us up for this delightfully domestic exchange:

“Is that for me?” “Why, yes it is. A handsome coffee for my handsome man.” “What do you want?” “Why do I have to want something to give you a compliment?” “You don’t, but you do. You know you’re not the only one who can do that.” “You heard me on the phone with my father, didn’t you?” “Okay, you’re the only one who can do that.”

So…here’s the thing about this. Harvey and Donna have known each other for nineteen-ish years. They’ve been dating for, at most, a few weeks. Every single time they’ve talked about their relationship status, it’s been in glowing terms; “I’m finally where I’m supposed to be,” “We both are” (s09e01), “She’s the most important person in my life” (s09e02), etc. Now Donna is gearing up to propose an activity that’s important to her that she knows Harvey won’t want to do—she wants to tell her father that they’re a couple—and her lead-in is…preparing him a cup of coffee and calling him handsome. If she’s trying to butter him up, that’s some pretty weak sauce, and if not…

Harvey responding to such a gesture by asking what she wants is a red flag all on its own (he’s suspicious when she does things for him, even something as small as a cup of coffee), but since he heard her on the phone, I’m gonna give this one a pass. The real problem lies where it always does on this show: Lack of communication. Harvey and Donna have been incredibly close friends for nineteen years and she knows how important family is to him; this is a serious thing that she knows she’s going to get some resistance to, she should be able to ask him to mend fences with her father without making it some kind of game. Instead she resorts to a tactic more reminiscent of a teenager easing the way for a bad report card than a romantic partner seeking a personal favor, and I know that being a couple is different from being friends, but they’ve known each other for so long, she should have a better sense of how to handle this kind of thing. (Then again, this is Donna of “accost Harvey in the dead of night and kiss him to figure out my romantic uncertainty even though I know he has a girlfriend and is terrified of becoming unfaithful” fame, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised.)

Lest you think I’m making mountains out of molehills, the conversation ends with her dismissal to “Put [his] big boy pants on and find [them] a restaurant, or [her] father won’t be the only Paulsen [he has] to worry about.” So. Like. The “partnership” aspect of this partnership is really coming along.

We’re afforded the opportunity to wash our hands of this unpleasantness with a mostly-good exchange between Faye and Katrina, during which Faye requests her to adapt a new code of conduct for the firm and my only little nitpick is that Faye declares that she made the right decision in assigning the task to Katrina after Katrina says she’ll only do it if Faye accepts her draft “wholesale or not at all,” which just seems like a weird thing for Faye to want her to demand. Then Alex has an eight-years-ago flashback to flesh out that whole “Tommy Bratton framed him for covering up a murder conspiracy at Danbury” thing from Season 7 as some guy named Craig, who was apparently a coworker of Alex’s during his time at Bratton Gould, shows up in the present day to put the screws to him to accept an offer already on the table in Specter Litt Wheeler Williams’ case against Panasonic (Panasonic, really?) in exchange for not letting Alex’s involvement “get out.” Alex seems surprised by this development, but it sure does explain those stoical looks he’s been putting on at random foreshadowy intervals this season.

I think the next scene is supposed to be some kind of comic relief as Louis storms into a conference room and lets loose a generic and expletive-laden rant against the bewildered man and woman seated at the table; they inform him that they’re Susan’s parents, and he quickly backpedals with some “this is how not to behave” bullshit and tells them his name is Alex Williams. This would be hideously inappropriate behavior even if they were opposing counsel on whatever case he thought he was handling; the moment Louis opened with “Alright, you sons of bitches,” I was sure it was another one of his delusional episodes, but no, apparently he’s just got terrible business etiquette. Not to worry, though, because all of this is just a means to segue into Louis moaning to Gretchen that he needs her back because his current temp, Norma’s granddaughter Norma III, is grossly incompetent.

Back to the A plot. Donna and her father are out to breakfast where she giddily divulges her relationship status, and Mr. James Paulsen greets the news a little more tepidly than she was expecting. She prompts him to voice his misgivings, and he says that from everything she’s told him over the years, Harvey sounds like a pretty selfish guy. (Which of course begs the question of what she’s been telling him, but I don’t think we’re going to dwell on that. Also James has met him; he can form his own firsthand opinion.) In another example of truly stellar communication skills, Donna exclaims that she told Harvey her father would be happy for her when she told him about them (point of order, she said he would be happy for them), and he asks if they can start the breakfast over. She mutters a petulant “Sure, Dad. Sure,” and that’s all we’re going to get of that for now.

Flashback alert: It seems that the History of Craig is that he really, really wanted the Masterson account that Bratton gave to Alex (to frame him for covering up the conspiracy) and they had a falling out when Alex didn’t tell him about it. In the present day, Alex asks Samantha to take the deal in the Panasonic case because Craig is his friend, but she immediately figures out that this is about the Masterson thing (which he thought “had gone away,” so maybe all those thousand yard stares were about something else) and tells him to tell Rosalie the whole story.

Faye shows up in Donna’s office for a little plot integration, calling to attention the fact that it’s “a clear conflict” for “two of the five members of management [to] have undue influence over each other”; as Harvey is a senior partner, his vote is more important than Donna’s (which is exactly what I said), but if he wants to give up his vote, that’s fine with her as long as they’re not both going to have one. Far be it from me to laud Suits for not being sexist, but this is a decent, if probably accidental, little sidestep; as COO, Donna is less important to the firm than Harvey the senior partner, but Faye’s problem isn’t that Donna has a voice at the managerial table, it’s that two of the managers are dating and their impartiality is potentially compromised. We’ve even seen an example of this play out already when Harvey sided with Donna against Louis when he tried to fire Benjamin; they talked it out, yeah, but it happened once and it could easily happen again. Good for Faye.

Donna, it may not surprise you to learn, does not so much share this perspective. Harvey pops in to ask her how breakfast with her father went and she takes the opportunity to wildly misplace her anger as she bemoans the fact that she wants a relationship with someone who gets along with her father, and then bitches at Harvey for not telling his mother about them yet. She closes out with the denouement that if he’s really willing to put her first, he’ll fix his relationship with her father, and if he can’t, her father might be right that they shouldn’t be together.

What is this, the fourth time so far in this episode alone that a lack of communication has caused major problems for these people? I’m getting sick of this trope, guys, what else you got?

I’m already regretting that question as Louis accosts Katrina in the women’s restroom (yes, the women’s restroom) to demand that she include a rider in the new code of conduct putting personnel reassignments under the purview of the name partners. Katrina quite correctly points out that this belongs in the bylaws, but promises she’ll think about it.

Suits continues its developing trend of trying to cram as many returning guest stars as possible into this season as Harvey calls Lily to tell her that, one, Donna was the “very special person” credited with their reconciliation back in Season 6; two, they’re seeing each other; and three, “[he hasn’t] exactly told her yet, but she’s the one.” Lily congratulates him, having learned about Donna from Marcus; seems they’re both big fans, how cute. Harvey admits that he and Donna’s father have bad blood, and Lily tells him to make a gesture to demonstrate his generous heart.

Back up a second.

Harvey and Donna have been friends for nineteen years. They spent about eighteen years and eleven months of that time going out of their way to clarify that they weren’t a couple and/or that they knew they were better off as friends. A big emotional event abruptly convinced Harvey that he wants to be with her. Three-ish weeks later, their relationship has hardly been smooth sailing, and now, on the heels of yet another miscommunication-laden spat, out of fucking nowhere, Donna is “the one,” and apparently has been for at least a little while.

What the fuck is going on?

No, I’m serious. This relationship, rife with conflict, has shot along at lightning speed. They’re apparently spending more nights together than not, but as far as I can tell, they’ve been on one date (which started off super awkwardly, by the way), and suddenly she’s Harvey’s soulmate. His bossy, confrontational, unforthcoming soulmate. Am I really supposed to believe that this, this is what Harvey’s been looking for all his life? Or is it just that pounds upon pounds of external pressure have convinced him that it should be?

Food for thought.

Oncoming B plot: Eight years ago, Alex told Rosalie about the Masterson thing while it was going on, but apparently he never got around to the kompromat part, because back in the present day, he’s finally coming clean about all of it, including Craig’s current attempt to blackmail him. Rosalie is not a fan of either the original event or the fact that he took so long to tell her about it, which, yeah, that’s fair.

Part II

[mistletouchunderthetree]

“fuck’s sake, what’s your problem?”

This is so late and I’m sorry but I finally filled your prompt!

Richie/Eddie, 1.9k words, rated T for language

Eddie was seething. After a long ass day of listeningto his mother nitpicking and nagging like he was fucking ten years old, he just wanted to hang out with hisfriends and relax, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen.

“Hey Eds,” Richie called to him. Eddie took a deepbreath to calm himself. It didn’t work. He sunk deeper into the couch in Bill’sliving room, hoping he could somehow just melt into the fabric and disappearand never listen to one of Richie’s stupid comments ever again. Instead, hefelt a body plop onto the couch next to him, followed by a loud voice in hisear. “You seem mighty feisty today, little one!”

“Shut up, Richie,” Eddie said lowly. “I’m serious, I’mnot in the mood.”

“That’s not what your mom said last ni-“

“Richie!”

Richie just grinned, seemingly unaware that Eddie waslosing his fucking mind.

“You’re so cute when you’re mad, Eds,” he said, andreached over. Eddie knew he was swooping in to pinch his cheek, and he jumpedup angrily.

“Don’t pinch my cheeks, Richie!” He yelled. He wasaware the other Losers were all looking at him, but he didn’t care anymore. Hewas upset. “And don’t call me Eds! I’ve been telling you for the past eightyears to not fucking call me that! And don’t call me cute either, I’m notfucking cute!”

Richie’s eyes were wide, and no one spoke.

“I’m leaving,” Eddie said, storming out of the room.He went to the front door and angrily slammed it behind him. He groaned when heheard someone following him. He glanced back, clenching his hands into fistswhen he saw it was Richie. “Leave me alone, Richie!”

“Fucks sake, what’s your problem?” Richie asked,genuinely confused. “I haven’t done anything that I don’t always do.”

“Exactly!” Eddie screamed. “You always fucking do it!Even when I ask you not to, you still do it!”

“I- okay, I’ll stop, I’m sorry-“

“It’s not enough! The damage is done, okay? You callme fucking Eds and cute and pinch my cheek like I’m a fucking baby, like I’m alittle kid and weak and helpless, just like my mom treats me. And I’m not!”

“I know you’re not, I’m sorry-“

“I’m not a kid,” Eddie ranted on, ignoring Richie. “I’meighteen years old, I’m going to college soon, and I’m an adult! I’m a grownman, I’m not a baby, and I’m not cute, I don’t want you to think I’m cute –“

He cut himself off, biting his lip like he’d said toomuch. Richie just stared at him, unsure for the first time in his life of whatto say.

“I’m gonna go,” Eddie said finally.

“Eddie, don’t go,” Richie said frowning. “I didn’tknow you felt that way or I never would have-“

“Really?” Eddie said. “Because I asked you over andover to stop and you never did. Did you not think there was a reason I askedyou to stop?”

Richie opened his mouth to speak and then closed itagain. Eddie rolled his eyes, turned around, and walked home alone.

*

Eddie glanced up when he heard a knocking on hiswindow, and stood up, ready to send Richie away. However, he did a double takewhen he saw red hair through the window, and he hurried instead to help Beverlyinside.

“How does Richie do that all the time?” She asked,once she was settled on her feet. “I thought I was going to die like, fourdifferent times.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Is there a reason you’re here,Bev?”

“Damn,” she said, taking a seat at his desk chair. “Stillin a bad mood, I see.”

“Well, it’s only been like an hour, so…”

“Care to explain what happened?”

“Not particularly,” Eddie said, sitting on his bed.Beverly gave him A Look. He sighed. “Fine. I’m pissed at Richie.”

“Yeah, we all gathered that much,” she said. “No onereally understands why. Richie says that shit all the time.”

“That’s the point, Bev. I ask him to stop and he doesn’t.He’s never even asked why I want him to stop.”

“I mean, I can see it from both sides,” Beverly said,and Eddie groaned. “Hear me out! Like, when you asked him to stop he totallyshould have listened. But also, it’s Richie. And we all know he acts like hedoes because he wants attention, and you’re his main target because he wantsyour attention most of all.”

Eddie opened his mouth to argue.

“No! Let me finish. Richie can be the most annoyingperson ever, but he’s also one of the best people ever. He does what he doesbecause it gets a rise out of you and he doesn’t know how the fuck else toflirt with you.”

“He is not flirting with me,” Eddie argued.

Bev snorted. “Debatable. Besides, why do you hate itso much that he calls you that stuff? The rest of us all figured you liked itand were just playing along with him.”

Eddie shrugged. “I mean… It reminds me of my momsometimes. When he calls me cute and pinches my cheeks. I don’t know how I feelabout Eds, sometimes it feels like a little kid nickname but other times itfeels like something… special, just for him. But…”

“That’s adorable as fuck,” Beverly stated. Eddierolled his eyes. “But also, Richie doesn’t mean those things in a little kidkinda way. Everyone knows Richie has a crush on you, so I doubt when he callsyou cute he means it like your mom does.”

“I already said, Richie does not have a crush on me.It’s not flirting.”

“Listen, as Richie’s best friend, I’m privy to certaininformation. You have a crush on him, right?”

Eddie bit his lip. “I mean –“

“You have a crush on him, right,” Beverly repeated.Eddie feebly nodded. “Okay. Well, I can assure you it’s mutual. And that hefinds you much more than just cute. Especially when you wear your red shorts.”

Eddie gasped, and Beverly giggled.

“That’s the real problem, right? You don’t want him tothink you’re cute, you want him to think you’re hot.”

Eddie blushed. “Not hot in particular, just… not likea baby. And I hate his flirting thing, because it doesn’t feel real. Sometimesit feels like he’s making fun of me.”

“He’s not. Well, maybe a little,” Beverly conceded, “butit’s all in good fun. He’ll probably still do that stuff after you’ve starteddating.”

“Oh my god, Bev, don’t say stuff like that,” Eddiesaid, cheeks flaming. “I haven’t even talked to him yet…”

“Well…”

“What?” Eddie asked, suddenly panicked.

“He might actually be waiting outside.”

Eddie gaped at her. Beverly grinned, pecked him on thecheek, and climbed back out the window. Eddie was still gaping a few minuteslater when Richie climbed in.

“You’re gonna catch flies like that,” he said, andEddie closed his mouth. “So are you going to accept my apology this time?”

Eddie flinched at the hurt in Richie’s voice.

“Only if you accept mine,” he mumbled, and smiled whenRichie sat next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Cawse I will, deah,” Richie said.

Eddie scrunched his nose. “The fuck was that?”

“Work in progress,” Richie admitted, flushing. “Anyway,I am sorry for never listening when you tell me to stop doing that stuff. Iguess I thought…”

He trailed off, and Eddie leaned into him. “That I wasjust playing along?”

“Yeah,” Richie agreed. “But if you really want me tostop, I will. I just didn’t understand why.”

“I, um,” he paused, closing his eyes. If Beverly waslying, he was going to kill her. “I don’t like it when you flirt with me theway you do-“ Richie’s arm suddenly fell from his shoulders, and Eddie looked upto see Richie’s face looking dejected. “No! I just mean – sometimes it feelslike you’re making fun of me. Especially when you call me cute and pinch mecheeks ‘cause it’s like a baby, right? Like a little kid. Because I’m short, Iguess, I don’t know? But it hurts because my mom treats me like I’m a baby, sothen I think that you see me that way, too.”

“I don’t, Eddie,” Richie said honestly, and Eddiealmost winced at how awkward ‘Eddie’ sounded coming out of Richie’s mouth. “Ithink you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, and… I’ve been flirting withyou since we were like, ten, and I guess I never changed my technique over theyears, mostly because… I didn’t think you’d want me to flirt with you for real.”

“Do you want to flirt with me for real?” Eddie askedquietly.

Richie was looking down, picking at a loose thread inhis jeans. “I mean… Yeah…”

“Oh,” Eddie’s voice was barely more than a whisper. “Youcould try it now.”

Richie cleared his throat. “I um, I don’t really knowwhat to say.”

“Trashmouth Tozier, speechless for the first time inhis life?” Eddie teased, voice still quiet. “It’s okay, I don’t think I’d knowhow to respond anyway.”

“I don’t call you cute because I see you like a littlekid,” Richie said suddenly, looking up at Eddie. “I call you cute because youare cute. But you’re more than that, too. You’re fucking… You’re beautiful. Andsexy. I – sometimes I can’t think right around you and so I say stupid shitbecause your nose scrunches up and your face gets extra adorable when I saystupid shit, and nothing feels better than when your attention is on me. I knowthat’s not like, really flirting, but I figured you should know.”

Eddie leaned forward so their noses were brushing, andhe heard Richie’s breath hitch. “That was really good flirting, if you ask me.”

“Yeah?” Richie smiled. Eddie giggled, nodding. “Can Istill call you Eds?”

Eddie rolled his eyes and pretended to think about it.“On one condition.”

“What’s that?” Richie asked, bringing his hand up torest on Eddie’s shoulder.

“You have to kiss me.”

Richie’s jaw dropped. “What the fuck, Eddie Spaghetti.Looks like you’re the one who can flirt in this relationship.”

“Oh my god! No Eddie Spaghetti! Off limits!”

“Can I kiss you for it?” Richie asked with a smirk.

“No!” Eddie squealed, but Richie was already leaningin. His smile faded when their lips touched, and for a moment they were bothstill.

Richie pulled back a little, their foreheads and nosesstill touching. “This okay?”

Eddie sighed softly. “Yeah,” he said. “And I love you.”

“Oh my god, you’re so much better at this boyfriendstuff than me,” Richie whined, even though he was smiling.

“Who said we’re boyfriends?” Eddie asked. Richie pressedanother kiss to his lips. “Yeah, okay, we’re boyfriends.”

Richie laughed. “Good. And I love you, too.”

“Can you actually kiss me, now?” Eddie asked, soRichie did, bringing their lips together softly at first, timid, until Eddiebrought a hand up to tangle in Richie’s hair. Richie gasped against Eddie’slips, and Eddie deepened the kiss.

“Fuck,” Richie mumbled when they pulled back. Hewrapped an arm across Eddie’s chest and pulled him down so that they werecuddled together on the bed. “I’m so fucking happy, Eds.”

Eddie smiled, letting his head fall on Richie’s chestand feeling butterflies when he realized how fast Richie’s heart was beating.

“Me too,” he agreed. “Thanks for coming after me eventhough I was an ass.”

Richie laughed, and Eddie felt the vibrations of it.He snuggled in deeper, sighing when Richie’s hand started combing through hishair. “Of course, Eds. Anytime.”  

[forevfangirlwrites]

Spooky, Sexy and Scary™

The gash on his cheek was starting to itch, the blood oozing down his jaw. He tried his hardest to not disturb the syrupy trail, even as it made its way over the red and purple splotches marking his skin.

He tried to distract himself from the feeling by inspecting the rest of his body. His arms were filled with irritated scratches and his neck was slit open. He moved his hand towards his hair before abruptly stopping it midway and dropping it back to the side of his torn shirt. His head stung slightly with the chemicals that graced his messed up hair, but he didn’t dare touch it.

He marked his victim, a young blonde woman standing off to the side, looking like she was waiting for someone. She was distracted, looking through her phone, and with no one else around, it was the perfect time.

Matthew inched closer, a maniacal grin making its way on his face. He was so close, all he needed was for her to not look up and he would have done his job. He gripped the knife tighter in his hand… any second now…

Sensing his presence, the young woman looked up just in time as he flashed the knife in her face. Her eyes widened as she shrieked, hands fumbling as she almost dropped her. He grinned again, mission accomplished.

Her face quickly morphed into a frown as she took a moment to catch her breath from the scare.

“Ugh, you actually got me,” she huffed, still frowning.

“Kinda my job.” He was out of character now but he wanted to make sure she was alright.

“What are you supposed to be anyway?” she asked. She had regained her composure rather quickly, and now that he was no longer worried, he took a moment to take in her appearance.

She had soft brown hair tied into a ponytail and a vibe that told him she could have taken him down had he been a real attacker.

He shrugged in response. He honestly wasn’t exactly sure what he was supposed to be other than Scary™. The makeup, for its part, was well done and in the relative dark of the park he was pretty sure no one would be able to nitpick the costume too much anyway.

“No clue, my actual costume is sexy nurse,” he deadpanned. He wasn’t exactly sure what prompted this line of dialogue but now he was curious to see where it went.

The girl raised an eyebrow. “Sticking with the classics, huh?” He hadn’t really expected her to go along with it, the surprise on his face morphing into a grin.

He nodded in response. “Oh yeah, besides, red and white are my colors.”

At that the girl grinned back and Matthew was sure he was the one with a racing heart now. This was going better than expected.  “I just want to see you in the heels,” she remarked.

He gave an exaggerated wink. “You will.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Really? You’re gonna wear the heels.”

There was a challenge in her tone that made him smirk. “Definitely.”

She regarded him curiously. “Alright,” she remarked, skeptical. She reached into her bag to grab a pen. “Here,” she said writing something down on the map of the park. “I expect pictures.”

Woah, he had not seen that coming. But here was this girl giving him her number and a challenge. This had gone way better than expected.

He ran a hand through his hair, still shocked. He was so going to be on the receiving end of Carol’s lecture as she tugged every last strand back into place, but it was so worth it.

He barely nodded in response before she walked away with a small wave, leaving him with dumbfounded expression and plans to buy a Halloween costume.

-LINEBREAK-

Stephanie’s phone buzzed two days later with a text from an unknown number. Curiously, she unlocked it, opening the message and wondering if it was the guy from Fright Fest who had managed to scare her.

She still wasn’t sure what had possessed her to give out her number to a random guy dressed up as Scary™ at an amusement park. She didn’t even know his name– hell, she wasn’t even completely sure what he looked like.

But for some reason the conversation had resulted in a challenge and part of her really wanted to know if he had taken it up.

Who wore it better?

Well, she was about to find out. Following the message was a picture of the classic sexy nurse halloween costume as worn by the girl on the packaging. Next was a picture of a really cute guy wearing the same outfit except the dress was stretching due to his broad frame. He was indeed wearing the heels, his calf muscles clearly straining to keep him upright and he gripped the wall for support.

She wasn’t really sure what she had been expecting but admittedly this was not it.

She quickly typed out a reply. You, definitely

And you’re right, red and white are your colors

His response came almost immediately.

Thanks, I think the cap really pulls it together

She smiled as she looked at the cap that rested on the messy brown hair that looked really soft. She wondered if it was.

I’m impressed how you got into those heels

He responded after a minute or so.

I did it for the instagram pic

It took me two minutes to take them off

My feet are killing me

She winced, she knew the struggle. And honestly, it was probably worse for him because he probably had to squeeze into them.

I can imagine

He replied with a gif of a cat screaming.

She smiled, but before she could react he sent another message.

But hey, I did as promised, you got to see the heels

She considered the situation. He had definitely kept up his promise.

After a moment of thought she responded: that you did, how about coffee on me for all your pain.

Yeah, she could get to know the guy who went all out to wear heels with a sexy nurse costume and sent gifs of cats.

-LINEBREAK-

As it turned out coffee actually meant churros and Stephanie was back at Fright Fest because Matthew had work soon and a discount for the food vendors at the park. She could get behind free churros.

After meeting him though, Steph quickly realized that Matt in a normal jeans and hoodie was by far her favorite version of him (not that the others weren’t good.) But seeing him in normal clothes smiling shyly and rubbing that back of his neck, with no costume to hide behind, made her heart flutter.

Now that she had the advantage of light she could see just how mesmerizing his chocolate eyes were and how adorable he really was.

“Hi,” he said, offering a small smile.

“Hi,” she returned the gesture.

They sat down at one of the food court-esque tables, a little awkwardly. Things were suddenly a lot more real and nerves were getting to her. It was to be expected since so far all conversation besides the first time had been in texts and cat gifs and you can’t really do that in real life.

“Sorry,” he breathed finally, “You’re way cuter that I remembered, also better lighting now.” He gestured around.

She nodded. “Yeah, you’re pretty cute too, when you don’t have blood all of your face or a sexy nurse costume,” she teased, hoping to alleviate some of the awkward tension.

It worked when he gave her a scandalized gasp, “I’ll have you know, I rocked the sexy nurse costume.”

She laughed, “Yeah, you did. Got to say, I admire your commitment, I didn’t expect you to actually go through with it.” And she really did, that was the reason she had continued to talk to him.

He shrugged, a small smile making its way on his face. “It was worth it for a date with you.”

Her heart leaped. So maybe his fun personality had played a factor in her feelings for him. “Is that was this is, a date?” she teased lightly.

He ducked his head and offered another shy smile, “If you want it to be.”

It totally was.

——-

Matt had just headed out of the makeshift makeup/break room and into the rest of the park which was aptly decorated for the spooky season. Fright Fest was in full force as guests wandered from ride to ride waiting to get scared by people like him.

He smiled, he was so ready for this. Back in costume, ready to find his next vic-FUCK.

He jumped as he felt fingers poke his sides.

Laughter filled the air as he tried to catch his breath. He frowned as he turned to find his giggling girlfriend beside him.  It had taken a year but the tables had turned, unfortunately for him.

“Stephanie!”

She just smirked. “I thought you were supposed to be the scary one.”

He huffed and crossed his arms.  “I am! I’m very scary.” His costume had even been upgraded from last year’s Scary™ to vampire.

She raised an eyebrow. “Uh huh.”

Oh, so that’s how she was gonna play this. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her in, causing her to gasp in surprise. “Shut up,” he said lowly.

She stared back at him and there was a moment of silence and expectancy before he spoke again. “I’d kiss you but that’d mess up my makeup.”

Steph made a face, as he knew she would. He tried not to smile too hard, but honestly she was too adorable.

“Maybe you should have gone as stuck-up princess instead,” she retaliated, still annoyed by the lack of a kiss. So was he, really, but he didn’t want another one of Carol’s lectures if he messed up the makeup. She still hadn’t let go of the hair incident from before.

He looked back at her, affronted. “Excuse me, I’d be a sexy stuck up princess.”

She rolled her eyes but he could see the mirth behind them. God, did he want to kiss her.

“Yeah right,” she scoffed.

He couldn’t stop himself. He leaned down to meet her lips midway as the overwhelming tingling sensation that came with kissing Stephanie overtook his body.

“What about your makeup?” she teased when they broke apart.

“Couldn’t resist my amazing girlfriend,” he replied, smiling gently. Steph blushed at the words and pulled him in for another kiss.

“Besides,” he whispered after they broke apart again, “pink is so not my color.”

[tearlessrain]

Okay. So. I watched TLJ a second time because I took my mom to see it (visiting for the holidays) and I have Opinions. Because in all honesty I did not like it as much the second time.

For spoiler reasons, and because most of it is just me complaining (and/or being pointlessly confrontational and defensive about what I did like), said opinions are quarantined safely under this readmore.

Also just for the record I know I state things like facts as if I think I have answers and should be listened to but this is 100% personal feelings and opinions and I know nothing.

The main takeaway is that I’m okay with how things ended up, I just don’t really like how they got there. If they do a really good job with episode 9 I will feel better about this movie and not be too annoyed that they got a bit lost on the way. That being said, they really did get lost on the way and it was frustrating to watch once I actually knew where they were going with it. I’ll give almost anything a ludicrous amount of grace the first time I watch it. I liked the second Hobbit movie the first time I watched it, let that sink in. My already questionable taste in media becomes vastly worse when I’m watching something for the first time in a theater.

On Luke’s characterization/arc: I’m okay with the concept of it, but the execution was lacking. Responding to a traumatic event by fucking off to a deserted island to sulk melodramatically for years is kind of a very Skywalker thing to do, so I don’t have much issue with that. The logistics of how the Kylo Fiasco actually went down is neither here nor there for me, it’s all being relayed years later by two people who were both not in the best place emotionally at the time of telling so I think taking it with a grain of salt is wise here. And I don’t think his apparently newfound post-Yoda-epiphany snark was inherently bad, I feel like he’s always had the capacity for sass and would fully expect that side of him to emerge with age, but I understand how it felt wrong to people (especially with the transition we got) and I think it would have read better if they’d just had more time to establish act 3 Luke and balanced it with the characterization we’re used to from him. Which brings me to my main complaint about the Luke arc: I didn’t like how they paced it. What I would have liked to see is for the Yoda scene to happen much earlier while Rey is still on the island, then follow that with some scenes of Luke actually being more himself and training Rey (because realistically she has an awful solid mastery of the Force for the two halfassed lessons she got). He can still be opposed to going off to find Kylo on the grounds that Rey really doesn’t know what she’s doing yet even if her intentions are good, thereby prompting her to leave on her own (I mean he did the same thing and then he learned a horrible truth he wasn’t ready to hear, lost his hand, and jumped off a cliff, so I can see him not being jazzed about this).

As an aside, I really don’t like the throwing away the lightsaber thing. It felt too much like the emotional bait-and-switch thing Marvel does a lot and it’s a huge pet peeve for me. I just really hate it. Give me a damn genuine emotional moment for fucks sake. There were ways they could have conveyed the same thing that wouldn’t have felt so jarring and lazily written.

As another aside, and this is totally personal bias, I really love the Yoda scene, just full stop and without shame. It resonates with me in particular because in addition to being a very Skywalker thing to do, wanting to fuck off to a deserted island and hide for a decade because of one failure is also a very me thing to do. So that whole scene was just kinda cathartic on a personal level. They got lazy with Yoda’s dialect, though, which was mildly irritating to my pedantic obsession with keeping one’s lore consistent. It wouldn’t have been that hard to rearrange those sentences.

I also love the end with the twin suns callback. I know people feel like it was cheesy and trite. It is. I know this. I know. But I wholeheartedly love it anyway and I teared up both times I saw the damn movie and I will defend that scene with my life. Fight me.

Oh and shoutout to Actual Fashion Icon Luke Skywalker taking the trouble to astral project himself a stylish new all-black ensemble and perfectly trimmed beard to face Kylo in. Our boy’s still got it.

On the whole Finn/Rose plotline: .... why? Why did it happen at all? There was basically no payoff aside from what I guess was supposed to be a kinda heavy handed resolution to Finn’s personal arc but was ultimately just a waste of Captain Phasma as a character. They introduced Rose and gave her skills that should have been useful for what they set out to do but never got around to having her actually do anything, so while I enjoyed her character, it felt kind of hollow because there was no clear reason for her to actually be in the movie. Same with the casino planet, I loved the aesthetic and concept and atmosphere and that they did something new, but there wasn’t any point to it, they could have gone literally anywhere to find the guy they ended up with. If they’d actually picked up Space Dorian it would have been interesting because he’s not an archetype we’ve seen as much in Star Wars. We’ve seen plenty of grungy outcasts, let’s take advantage of the cool new setting you just presented. It even potentially could have made the eventual betrayal better, if they still needed to do that.

Thinking about the social climate and attitude toward rich people right now, if the betrayal had been a filthy rich arms dealer being let off by the empire because of his own privileges/connections and leaving Finn and Rose behind, I think you’d get a strong emotional response to that in a good way. Instead we’ve got... some guy who happened to turn out to be an asshole. And who could have come from literally anywhere in the galaxy and is not really bringing anything new to the table. He didn’t change as a character at any point, and his presence didn’t say anything that hasn’t been said or change Finn or Rose in any way in the end, so why is he here. I mean the whole casino planet was fun, but the way they did it they could have cut almost the entire thing out and the movie overall would not have been affected.

I just generally feel like 90% of what Finn and Rose did during this movie was only for the sake of giving them something to do and once again splitting up the main three and I’m sad about that because I adore Finn, and he has fantastic chemistry with Poe (whether you ship them or not, that’s irrelevant, I just mean they play off each other well but they’re never in the same place for more than five minutes and it feels like such a waste).

Also not liking that they had to throw in romantic tension with Rose, you want to make it a thing in the next movie fine, but it’s too soon right now, we only just got to know her character, can we maybe chill.

On Poe: I like his arc, I don’t much like the context, it was a bit contrived and of course tied in with the entirely pointless Finn/Rose shenanigans. But in a vacuum, I like where they took him and I like where he’s at now.

On Kylo: honestly? They have my attention and my interest. They didn’t after TFA, but he’s turning into an interesting character and I think I like where this is going so far. As long as they keep doing a good job in 9, I can definitively say that I like Kylo as a villain and as a character. If not as a person. He’s a dick. But it’s a good thing. And I’m sorry but I’m endlessly entertained by his entire uncomfortable relationship with Hux, I desperately need some people who can both cosplay and sing to perform What Is This Feeling from Wicked with these two (I propose Kylo on Elphaba’s parts, Hux on Glinda’s, seriously someone do this). Hux is just so pitiful and Done and it’s great. I usually don’t really like when a movie/show makes one character into a designated punching bag, but he’s inherently so damn punchable that I can’t even be mad. His actor did a fantastic job.

I think those are the main points I came away with, anything else is just nitpicking (porgs are the Jar Jar of the new trilogy, not nearly as bad but they still aren’t cute enough to carry the weight Disney has given them). My strongest feelings are regarding the Luke situation and it’s mostly because in my ill-advised hubris I feel like I know exactly how to fix it and could personally have done it better (that’s almost certainly not true but it’s how I feel). I don’t know what to do about Finn or how to better contextualize Poe’s character growth. I dunno.

But hey, at least Reylo isn’t canon and that’s really all I ever asked for.