#also this extends to Nikolai
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kikizoshi · 1 year ago
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I'm so, so close to the point of no longer posting and writing as though Meursault!Fyodor is real. So very, very close. Expect an update soon where I fully renounce Meursault!Fyodor.
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quarterlifekitty · 2 months ago
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I love your weaknesses posts🥹✨do you have any thoughts about the guys and massages (full body, shoulders, hands, etc)? could be receiving or giving them
I personally feel like Kyle would be so into them in general, meanwhile Johnny would try to be handsy or silly with them
Machveil I hope you know that I would blow up a fucking building for you if only you would ask me to
Weaknesses part 7: massages
I think Gaz is super into anything relaxing, aromatic, therapeutic. Loves candles, baths with special scented soaps and salts, massages. Anything that inspires slow, tantric intimacy. And also I think he is the king of treating himself and self care. Generally he’s more into giving, but he likes to trade massages too. He always sets the scene for you, lighting the aforementioned candles, putting on music, dimming the lights. And he’s really good at giving them. Because of course he is.
Soap is the fucking naughty masseuse and we all know it ok. He basically gives massages the way they do in porn where it’s just an extended pretense to sex where he can feel you up. Like he does try to give you a real massage for all of 3 minutes (if I’m being generous) before it’s basically just spanking you and reaching between your thighs. And if you decide to return the favor? He’s not going to shut up about getting a happy ending. Not for the entire time.
Ghost isn’t all the comfortable giving massages because he can see the blood on his hands at the edges of his vision all the time, like a cataract born of sin and violence unbridled n stuff. But he loves receiving them! You know he’s tense as fuck back there man. Doesn’t know how to relax himself, needs someone to force him to relax. You sitting straddled on him while you rub his back does it for him.
Price likes both. Plays a little into the housewife kink. Likes you to rub his shoulders after a long day, kneading into him and just trying to help him unwind like a good, sweet, considerate girl. And in return, this man is rubbing your feet and I’m not gonna apologize for saying it. Especially if you’re pregnant. Then it’s happening like every fuckin day.
While Gaz gives very sensual massages, König is gonna give you a massage that hurts like hell but fixes your entire life. Massages are one of the few things I think he’ll actually indulge in and pay for from a professional. Dude has a lot of muscles that go through a lot of grief. I think his height and his age also make him a little more prone to aches and pains. That said, he will love whatever kind of massage you give him, but it’s more of the thought that counts, cause you’re not hardcore enough to break his back the way he usually gets it done. He will literally lay down and let you walk on him.
Nikolai also loves a massage as an act of service. Just shows you’re thinking about him and his comfort, which he finds to be very sweet. He’s partial to a hand massage— he does a lot of work that strains his grip and fine motor muscles, so it feels good to take off the gloves and have you press between his knuckles and knead the meat of his palms. The massages he gives are a bit between therapeutic and foreplay. He uses the opportunity to edge you, is what I’m saying.
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osarina · 1 year ago
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ᡣ𐭩 SNEAKIN' A PIC (ATTEMPT: FAILED)!
FEATURING: fyodor dostoevsky
SUMMARY: you never get to see him like this. is it really so awful that you want to capture the moment eternally? evidently to him, it is. (wordcount: 1.4k; sfw; fem!reader)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: i'll never not make fun of that one panel of him sitting at his computers with his greasy ass hair even if he does look like a pretty princess in every other panel he has. my obsession with naps is being translated into my fics, i already posted a nikolai one posted and also have a dazai one in the drafts HAHA
When you wake up, you feel a weight on your bicep. Your brows furrow a bit in confusion, glancing to your right to where your arm is extended across the bed, but then your eyes fall upon Fyodor, fast asleep and using your arm as a pillow, and you can barely stop the small smile that rises to your lips.
Your arm is numb, but you don’t dare move in fear of waking him up—the clock on your nightstand reads nearly eight am, and you wonder when he finally came to bed last night. You know that he’s been pushing himself day and night to finalize the last parts of his plans, denying himself both sleep and food as he sits at his computers dealing with meetings and preparations 24/7. 
He hadn’t even changed into a pair of pajamas before falling into bed with you, nor had he bothered to get beneath the covers. a part of you wonders if he even meant to sleep, or if he’d just pushed his body too far and only barely made it to the bed before it gave out on him. 
It wouldn’t be the first time. 
You bite back a sigh as your gaze traces over the stubborn man—he always looks delicate in his sleep, in a way that he never does when he’s awake with his eyes shut and his long, dark lashes brushing his cheeks. His expression is the picture of serenity rather than the cold and unapproachable face he wears when he’s awake. 
You think that he’s pretty all the time, but there’s something special about being able to witness Fyodor Dostoevsky in his most vulnerable moments, knowing that you’re the only one he allows to be with him in them. 
You’re half-tempted to reach over to your nightstand with your free hand to try to grab your phone and snap a picture of him. You look over, wondering if you can reach it without jostling your other arm around, but before you can even consider your chances, you hear: “Do not.”
Fyodor’s voice is still thick with sleep. you glance over at him, surprised, but his eyes are still shut, and he hasn’t budged an inch. You wonder if you imagined it, but then his eyes crack open, thin slivers of purple glaring at you.
“Just one for me?” you ask quietly. “No one else will see.”
“No.”
You pout softly but roll back to look at him. He still looks exhausted, the bags beneath his eyes are dark and heavy, and he can barely even hold his eyes open. You reach out, cupping his cheek gently and watching as his eyes slide back shut, a soft exhale spilling from his lips as he lets the side of his face sink back into your arm, dozing back off.
You smile lightly, shifting forward a bit to press your lips to his forehead, stroking his cheek lightly with your thumb.
“I need to get up,” he murmurs, but his eyes are still shut and his voice is thick with sleep. “I need to finish-“
“You will not finish anything adequately in this state,” you chide gently. “If you get proper sleep, you’ll be much more efficient and effective.”
Fyodor looks as if he wants to argue, brows furrowing at your words even with his eyes shut. You only jostle him a bit closer, watching as he shoots you an irate look, but then settles down when he realizes you’re only dragging him closer so that he can rest his head on your chest—a place far more comfortable than your arm.
“Wake me up in an hour,” he finally orders, and you agree absently, knowing that you absolutely will not.
You think, as Fyodor lets himself doze off on your chest, that it’s hard to remember he’s quite literally one of the most dangerous men on this planet. That if he so pleased, he could activate his ability and kill you without a moment’s warning. That he’s a man who is so terrifyingly intelligent that it sometimes comes across as prophetic, and you can’t help but wonder if he speaks the truth when he claims to be led by the Hand of God. 
Your hand smoothes across his back in steady circles, tilting your face down to press your lips to the top of his head. His hair is a bit oily, as he usually lets it get when he deprives himself of basic necessities while he works. You’ll have to convince him to take a bath with you when he wakes up, but you figure it’ll be a battle because you already convinced him to sleep in a little longer, he’ll not want to waste any more time. 
You almost want to pinch him, wondering why everything with him has to be a war when it comes to taking proper care of himself. He rarely even remembers to take his iron supplements on the daily without your prompting, and he knows if he doesn’t take them, he’ll be prone to dizziness and fatigue. For all of his intelligence, you feel like sometimes that you’re a mother dealing with a stubborn child, not your lover. 
“Stop that,” Fyodor sighs, shifting a bit to get comfortable. “Dim your thoughts, dusha moya. I can feel you getting yourself wound up.”
You scowl. “You know, Fedya, maybe you should just drop the whole terrorist plot and become one of those preachers on the radio who pretend to be prophets. Build yourself a cult, make some money. You already seem to know everything, wouldn't be too hard."
Fyodor tilts his head up to look at you, expression so deadpan and unamused that it nearly makes you snort, but you only dip your head down to kiss between his eyes.
"Sleep,” you say, voice softer. “You need it.”
Fyodor doesn’t respond, and when you tilt your head to the side to look at him again, you find that he already dozed back off again, shoulders rising and falling steadily underneath the arm you have wrapped around him. 
You smile lightly and you tighten your arms a bit as Fyodor lets out a puff of air in his sleep, turning his head to lay the side of his face on your chest. In this position, you can see the way his eyes flit beneath his eyelids rapidly, his brain still running rampant even in sleep.
You bring your fingers to his hair to card them through the dark locks, slow and soothing in the way you know he likes, watching as his eye movements slow and his body relaxes into yours. 
Your smile widens a bit before it abruptly falls, laying your head back against the pillow as you finally begin your next challenge: drawing out a battle plan for convincing Fyodor to take a bath with you when he wakes up. 
You sigh to yourself heavily, knowing well that you're about to be facing the most difficult argument of your life with the most stubborn man alive. You can already feel the headache, and you think that you deserve a new picture for your lock screen from how much trouble Fyodor gives you on the daily, but as you side eye your nightstand again and try to calculate whether or not you can reach your phone without waking him up, you feel fingers wrap around your free hand.
You gape in disbelief as you look down to see Fyodor grab your hand in his sleep, as if he knew what you were planning even when not conscious.
Unbelievable, you think bitterly, plan entirely thwarted, but your gaze softens at the sight of him fast asleep on your chest, clutching your hand with one of his.
Maybe you don't need a picture, you realize, because you think there's no way you'd ever allow this image to fade away from your mind.
Still, you think he should severely reconsider his line of work.
Even more so now, in fact, because there is something entirely abnormal about his seemingly perfect foresight, evidently flawless even in his sleep too.
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laswells-ashtray · 2 months ago
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ALRIGHT LAST REQUEST BUT.. more young Price bull shittery(I was the one who made the first YP shenanigans). I find it hilarious how MacMillan handles him as if he were some feral cat.
How do you think he’d react to his superiors or another team’s captain disciplining John? The sergeant is gonna sass off to them either way, but what if someone oversteps to the point where his captain has to step in?
Also, I wanna see how you think he came across Nikolai. What does Mac think of the criminal pilot? lol
Sergeant John Price is an arsehole of the biblical variety. MacMillan is aware of it, anyone with ears who has ever made the mistake of interacting with John is aware of it. Despite it all, MacMillan is fond of him. In the same way one is fond of a stray cat. It's scruffy, grubby and smelly but you scratch behind it's ears anyway.
He knows John has a blatant disrespect for authority, he's been on the end of it so many times that it's starting to get funny. And he's fully aware of it extending to other captains or lieutenants, sometimes rightfully so, sometimes he's just being pissy. But John is his sergeant, what's most important is that the disrespectful little fucker is his disrespectful little fucker.
So, the day John kicks off at a lieutenant in a team they're working with, he isn't surprised. Hell, John's defending him.
"Captain, I think you'll find that my team is more capable for this situation so I should lead the entry." It's a daft lieutenant who has been getting on his tits all day, thinks he's Billy big bollocks because he has a few poxy bits of metal stapled to his perky little A cups. He's wrong, his team isn't more competent and they all know it but clearly, his captain is all but tonguing his hole if he has that level of overconfidence.
He doesn't get a chance to respond to him and he wasn't stupid enough to think he would.
John openly laughs at the man, rolling his eyes as he glances between the lieutenant and back to MacMillan. "Your team wouldn't know their bloody cocks from their coccyx if you asked them about it. Only way anyone would let your team lead is if they wanted shrapnel lodged in their sac."
He can see the man clenching his fists when he looks over at John, the typical reaction for that level of disrespect especially in front of a group but the sergeant is right. Letting the lieutenant lead would end in avoidable injury for almost everyone involved.
What he doesn't anticipate is the other team's captain stepping forward and clasping a firm hand on John's shoulder with a grip that is undoubtedly painful and deliberate. Captain Penfold, new to the position and smug about the rank as if it was anything but more work. MacMillan had interacted with him once years ago when he was a barefaced wee dickhead and had spent the rest of the night drinking to forget having to have interacted with him.
"Sergeant Price, I'd recommend you watch how you talk to my men before I have you written up for insubordination. Talking to a higher-ranking officer like that would've earned you a black eye where I was trained, I wouldn't be surprised if one of my soldiers offered you the same and I wouldn't feel inclined to stop them."
MacMillan is aware of two things, he inherited his mother's temper and his father's lack of tolerance for smarmy Englishmen, especially the ones who think talking with that fancy fucking accent makes them the most intelligent in the room.
Grabbing the man's collar and all but yanking him off of John doesn't take much thought, and it takes even less effort. He pulls the bastard close to him, staring down at his fuck ugly face and into those big beady eyes, highlighting the height difference that the other captain had been oh so testy about.
"David, if you so desire than I can assure you, I'll let you take that warehouse all on your own. Prove your talents that you're so eager to brag about. But if you put a hand on my sergeant again or if any one of your soldiers do then I can assure you that you won't be left with a black eye, you'll be left with a tight wee hole for your lieutenant to ram his prick in as he so eagerly desires and your own measly cock stuffed in your mouth to keep you quiet. Now, I want to hear that diplomatic apology that the fancy rich-boy school you went to taught you to hand out or you can promptly kiss my fucking arse and handle this mission yourself. You twisted wee knob gobblin' shitebag."
God bless the captain because he tries to defend himself, he does. But MacMillan isn't in the mood to fucking listen.
"I'll leave you standing there, dicks in the wind. If I need to discipline my sergeant or any of my soldiers, I'll do so as I see fit but until that cunt at your side learns his fucking place then I see no issue letting my men point out the flaws in his poxy fucking plan. Do I make myself fuckin' clear, Captain?"
John tries to pull him back and it should be enough of a sign that he's pushed it far enough but he stands firmly in place, grip tightening on the prick's collar.
"I work with you not for you and until you can make a plan that doesn't needlessly put my men at risk then we are done here. You can come and find me when you're ready to apologise and listen, until then neither you nor your lieutenant have a word to say to any of my men. And if you want tae play it up wae the brass then I'll let evdy ken exactly why your Da ended up in Barlinnie."
Only then does he let the other man go, taking a brief moment to enjoy the look of fear that passes over his face as he stumbles backwards. He doesn't bother listening to the dribble from the captain or the lieutenant as he drags John out of the room by the crook of his elbow.
They walk in silence as MacMillan leads them outside so he can smoke that fag he's been desperately craving since he stepped into the room with them all. He's surprised it takes John so long to ask when the young sergeants looks at him curiously.
"You've mentioned Barlinnie before, I thought it was a prison."
"It is."
"Oh. Oh."
Now, for MacMillan and his opinion's of Nik.
At first, the Scot thinks nothing of the Russian man. He's useful and he doesn't get on MacMillan's tits. Win-win. Then he catches John watching the Russian one day when he thinks no-one's looking.
They've never had the talk but John's never mentioned a bird at home and he's seen him slip off with another bloke "for a smoke" when they were at a bar, the lad came back with his fly down. He knows, he thinks John knows he knows but they never talk about it.
"Stare at his arse any harder and you might burn a hole through his jeans, John boy." He takes great joy in the way the younger man jumps at the sound of his voice.
"I wasn't- Don't blood call me that, I'm a grown man." A grown man who struggles to tie his own tie, aye right.
"Talk to him, lad." He wants John to be happy, wants him to succeed so that one day he has a sergeant that is as much of a pain in the arse for him as John is now but more importantly he wants John to have someone. The younger man might be a fanny on the best of days but he's one of the most efficient men that he has and he needs something other than the job before it gets him killed.
That line of thinking lasts approximately two weeks. Then the incident happens.
"John, are you- Jesus, Mary, mother of fuck. Put it away. In my fucking office? You clatty bastard."
"Mac, you were supposed to be away-"
"Take the Russian and get your bare arse off ma fuckin' desk. You little deviant."
"Yes, sir."
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panchulien · 22 days ago
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There's this thing called "Gün" in Turkish culture where it's just neighbor women regularly get together and all bring food, sometimes even money is involved, but overall it's just a nice hangout with good food and conversation.
I had a thought. If Nikolai happened to find himself in Turkiye for an extended period of time, either for a job, or to hide, he'd choose a normal, quiet neighborhood. He knows he doesn't exactly fit in there, but he lays low and is rarely visiting his flat. But he's also trying to keep a good profile for the locals, so whenever he has an encounter with one of them, he's kind, tries to come off as normal and not scary. They know he's Russian but none seem to mind, and to Nikolai's surprise, they accept him as one of their own. He's friendly with the kids, the old ladies love him, the men seem a bit more distant but he's helped a few and had a good chat with some.
So when Gün happens, one of the old ladies ask him to join. They almost love him like a son. They don't know what he does for a living but they've grown a liking to the big man. He's kind, helps them around, a good company.
So Nikolai sitting in between a bunch of old ladies, a full plate on his lap, being teased kindly about his work and love life ("When are you gonna bring home a girl?"), and even joins in on the neighborhood gossip. He dodges the questions about his private life professionally, but since he likes these people and sees no harm in it, he tells them he's not there to stay long and appreciates their hospitality.
I have a lot of thoughts about this. It's fun to imagine. I've grown up with Gün's. Going to the neighbours house after a long school day and filling your plate with good food while your mother and the others are engaged in conversation about their daily lives. I think Nik would appreciate the normality of it. These regular people with normal lives, so far from his own, yet still accepting him. Idk.
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ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes · 2 years ago
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Enchanted
pairing: kaz brekker x fem!reader
genre: fluff
el's thoughts: the first fic from the speak now event! requested by @wonderland2425 i hope you enjoy it! y/n is nikolai's sister in this story, but no physical traits are described
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“Princess!”
Y/N turned around to see some old family… friends, as her mother would call them. 
“Oh my! How grown you’ve become.” The older man smiled and reached for her hand as his wife stood beside him with a tired smile. 
“Yes,” she chuckled. “It has been a few years since I’ve been to a gathering like this. And I have to say, what a momentous occasion it is.” She looked down the hall desperately searching for someone to use as an escape. She saw two palace guards talking to each other and smiled. “I’ll have to excuse myself. I think my escorts are here.” She dipped her head into a bow of respect.
Placing her hands on the top layer of her deep purple dress, she walked away from the couple. She adjusted the off-the-shoulder neckline, her fingers running over the rhinestones around her shoulders. Once she was close enough she heard the female guard clear her throat as they both turned to face her. 
“Your Highness.”
Y/N smiled kindly at the bronze-skinned girl and turned to the taller man beside her. “Will you escort me to the main hall, please? I don’t think I can stand another conversation with these people.” She chuckled to fill the moment of silence before he nodded and walked beside her. 
She felt a bit uneasy as she let him lead the way. She made an effort to know every guard from her home yet these two had managed to slip past her notice. “Are you new?”
“Why would you ask that?” His voice was rough like rock salt as if he was getting over a sore throat.
“It’s just that, I typically know all of our staff back at the castle… I didn’t mean any offense.” 
The guard nodded stiffly and turned the corner, walking into the main hall. He stood still, waiting for her to walk to the rest of the royal family but she continued to stay beside him. 
Y/N felt his confusion and said, “I don’t feel like going in yet… Do you mind me waiting here?”
He looked down at her, his mind racing as if trying to solve a puzzle. “You’re the Princess, you shouldn’t be asking.”
“Well, I know, but you also have a job and you have orders from someone in a higher position. If you need to be somewhere else then you can leave.” Y/N smiled kindly. 
It was as if her smile never left her face and her thoughtfulness was what she expected people to receive from her. 
The hall fell into a hushed mummer as Alina walked into the room. General Kirigan led her to the stage and introduced her. He pulled the shadows of the room tighter and stepped back to let Alina take center stage. She clasped her hands together and pulled them apart, a ball of light floating between them. She brought the light to one hand and separated it into two orbs. She continued to push them towards the center of the room so the light reflected off the chandelier. 
The people in the hall gasped and were awed at the miracle before them. Alina made the light fade and everyone slowly fell to their knees before her. Y/N placed a hand over her heart and bowed her head in prayer to the Saints, but she didn’t get on her knees. She was still the princess and she was told ‘bow to no one’. 
Kaz cleared his throat and forced his eyes back on Alina as she made her way to the back of the room. ‘The mission,’ he reminded himself, internally scolding himself for staring at the princess during the light show. Scolding himself for noticing the way the light reflected in her eyes and the jewels on her dress and around her neck. ‘The mission.’
Y/N looked up at him and saw a distant yet determined look in his eyes. “You must have other things to do.” She stepped forward and turned to face him. “I’ll let you get back to your work, but I extend my gratitude to you for waiting with me.” She spun on her heel and pulled her shoulders back as she walked forward to her mother’s side. She froze in her steps and turned back towards him. “I didn’t ask for your name,” she said once she stood in front of him again. 
Kaz’s mind screamed at him not to tell her but he found himself at peace in her presence. “Kaz.” The flash of recognition in her eyes didn’t go unnoticed. 
“Kaz,” she smiled. “That’s a nice name. I’ll make sure to keep an eye open for you back at the palace.”
The Bastard of the Barrel stood there in a royal guard’s uniform watching the princess walk away from him. 
~
Kaz and Inej walked towards where Jesper stood, leaning against the stone statue. 
“What happened, are you okay?” Jesper asked as he looked over Inej.
“She’s real, Jesper. She made the light sing.”
Kaz glared between the two. “We lost her.”
“Did we?” Jesper smirked.
“We don’t know where she is,” said Kaz.
“Don’t we?” The Zemini laughed, “Just ask.”
“Jesper…” Kaz’s tone was a warning.
“Just ask.”
The three crows climbed onto the carriage, Jesper taking the reins with Kaz beside him while Inej stood behind the pair.
“Just ask,” said Jesper again.
“Fine. Do we have a fix on where to target it?” asked Kaz.
Jesper smiled and shook his head, getting the horses into a trot.  
Kaz sat silently beside Jesper staring blankly ahead. His mind went back to his encounter with the princess in between thinking of the sun summoner. He didn’t believe in love at first sight and he knew he never would, but his curiosity was piqued, to say the least. He wanted to know more about her and figure out why she was the way she was. Why she was so kind to a stranger in a familiar uniform? 
“What are you thinking about?” Inej asked over his shoulder. 
“Nothing.”
“C’mon, you can tell us,” chimed Jesper.
“I said nothing.” 
The two crows knew better than to push him farther but also knew better than to believe it was nothing. 
Inej had seen Kaz stare at the princess during and after the light show. She knew the princess confused him and he wanted to solve the puzzle. And she knew he’d put it aside till this job was done.
~
“Nikolai!” 
“Y/N!” 
The younger sibling wrapped her arms around her brother in a warm greeting. “I’ve missed you.”
“Just as I’ve missed you. How have you been?” The pair moved to sit down on the couch of Nikolai’s waiting room.
“I’ve been great. You’ll never believe who I met today.”
The prince laughed, “Who?”
“That Kaz Brekker of yours.” Y/N smiled widely at her brother’s disbelief. “Yes, I did. And for him being a gang leader, he had himself a very good set of manners. Though he didn’t talk much but I don’t blame him for that.”
Nikolai watched his sister with a knowing smile. He noticed the twinkle in her eye as she spoke about her latest encounter. “Was he handsome?”
“Oh, very handsome.” Y/N’s eyes widened as soon as the words slipped from her lips and gasped before covering her mouth with her hand. 
The older of the two laughed, “I had a feeling. Just asking.” 
“You had no right, Nik.”
“I had every right. You're my sister and I’m his employer… He just doesn’t know it yet.”
Y/N rolled her eyes, “Yes yes, I know. I’m going to bed now. Good night.” Nikolai smiled and wished her good night. 
Once she reached her room she twirled around in her nightgown, smiling giddily to herself. She had never experienced a crush before and this new feeling fluttered through her chest excitedly. The unknown of it all was addicting and she loved it. Would she see him again? Is he still awake thinking of her just as she’s thinking of him? Did he have another girl back home waiting for him?
“Please don’t have somebody waiting on you.” She spoke aloud as if the Saints above will carry her message to him. Throwing herself back into her bed, she pulled the covers around her body. Her eyes grew heavy and a yawn slipped past her lips. She switched her light off and smiled into her pillow as her thoughts echoed his name. “I was enchanted to meet you.”
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amandav09 · 9 months ago
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Helicopter and pregnancy
Summary : You are the pregnant wife of Nikolaï
Warming : none
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Metal music resonates in the airplane warehouse, Laswell walks towards the door and she notices that surprisingly the sound is not as loud as usual, and even if it’s been ten months since she had seen Nikolai, She knew that the Russian had the bad habit of putting the music at a volume too high for it to be healthy.
As always, the man working on top of one of his precious helicopters, she called him, but it was only the second time that he became aware of his presence
«Laswell» He put down his equipment while the woman walked to her computer to pause the music.
"Makarov?" He asks while standing up.
World travels fast
"Only if he wants it to..." he replied as he got off the helicopter.
Laswell explains the situation and the mission while walking towards the side of the aircraft.
"When are we leaving?" Nikolai asks
“How now...”
The engine begins to produce a growl and sparkles, Nikolai gives a blow and all noise goes out.
The cabin door opens and a half-asleep head comes out.
“Hi Kate”
«(Y/N)» The woman smiles and recognizes Nikolai’s wife
«We tried to reach you and Price» His face was slightly sullen and Nik smiled.
"Why? Was there a problem? I ordered your number to be one of the contacts that didn’t need to be intercepted.”
You stand up, a hand on the handle to put yourself on your knees. Laswell’s eyes widen when you see your hand resting on your pregnant belly.
“Since when?”
“It’s been 7 months” Nik says with a proud smile, “We don’t know the sex if you ask.”
“Congratulations!” She walks quickly towards you with her hands extended, it is only with your nod of head that she allows herself to put her hands on your belly.
«We wanted to warn everyone, but you were so busy» You say softly.
"The boys will be so happy... But were you sleeping?" She frowns.
“Yes, I put on a lot of blankets so I can take a nap, the baby becomes calm when he hears Nik’s music, and I sleep better when he’s around.”
"Isn’t it dangerous to sleep here?" Laswell turns his head to the pilot who makes a slight grimace.
«Never contradict the choices of a pregnant woman, I learned the hard way» He growls just thinking of the few times he dared to disagree
"You’re here because you need my husband, right?" You ask.
“We need an airplane and its pilot.”
«(Y/N)» Nikolai’s eyes turn to you
"I know..." You get off the plane and stand in front of the woman, "Promise me to keep him safe."
«Of course» She answers
You walk by them and say, "Good, because I’m coming with you to make sure."
Nikolai and Laswell insisted that you go to headquarters to wait for them and you didn’t argue, it was already a feat that your husband didn’t lock you up at home and put under surveillance. Your technology abilities were also another bargaining chip on both
They come back quickly from their missions and they had to walk headlong when you learned that they almost died. Laswell has never been so afraid of her life when she saw you walking quickly towards them.
A little later, the 141 arrived.
«My Brother» Rie Nikolai greeting Gaz with a hug
You walk slowly towards them, Price notices you and walks quickly towards you.
«No of God» He hugs you while paying attention to your belly.
«I too am happy to see you Captain» You give back his embrace. He slowly withdraws and gently touches your belly with the stars in his eyes, then he turns to Nik and points his finger at him while walking in his direction «We two, we have to talk!»
Ghost takes the opportunity to approach.
«Simon» You smile softly as you take his hand
Gas and Soap watch the interaction
"Who is it?" Soap confuses
“It’s true that you joined the team after she left. That’s (Y/N), she was dealing with everything that was technology and some weapons. One day she met Nikolai and they never let go. And she’s one of the few people Ghost lets open up to.”
Soap looks at the two discussing while listening attentively to Gaz. He notices you turning your gaze towards him, which makes him slightly tense.
«It is somehow the big sister of Ghost, if you have his approval then you won Ghost» Ris Gaz
Soap grunts «You do not reassure... In addition, if it is necessary she does not want Ghost to go out with another man»
Simon turns around and nods to the soldier to come to them. He sighs and walks straight towards them, but (Y/N) quickly strides and takes the face in his hands
"Look at yourself!" You smile, "You are so strong and beautiful! I understand why Simon chose you!" You laugh with joy, then you pass your arm around his and start walking towards the computers «I bet you have a lot to tell me! I want to know everything. And of course, I’ll give you anecdotes about our dear Ghost.” You wink at him complicity, which makes him relax
«(Y/N)» Scolds the hoarse voice of the masked man.
«Another time» You murmur quickly when you see Laswell arrive with documents.
Soap smiles at you, already feel that you two are going to make others live hell.
The last three are coming. Later, Nik behind Price after receiving a lesson on the role of being a father as well as the fact of not having warned his friend of the news
Everyone was ready to continue the mission, decide to finish with Makarov
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brainrotbrainrotbrainrot · 1 year ago
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Nikolai relationship headcanons. (Because he has taken over my brain)
Nsfw under the cut.
- You met through Price due to a mission and Nik helped you with an injury from almost falling out of a helicopter (because what else would happen to when you’re in a helicopter with Nik?) and he’s so attentive and sweet you can’t help but grow a crush on him.
- Nik is a fantastic listener. One of the main things about him you fell for.
- He listens to all your complaints and moans about the task force life and just nods his head and never tries to reason your complaints with logic. He knows better.
- This man will keep all your secrets and take them to his grave.
- Someone annoys you? He’ll have his gun ready and waiting for you. Just send a location.
- He’ll teach you how to fix a helicopter and how to fly if you don’t know already. It’s one of your favourite bonding activities.
- You thought Price gave good hugs but Nikolai’s hit different.
- He cannot ever take his eyes off of you in a room. Always admiring you and telling you how amazing you look 24/7.
- This man can own anyone at a BBQ.
- Loves seeing you in his jacket.
- Always sends flowers and other treats to your home address and the base when you have extended time away from each other.
Nsfw
- He is an ass man. Absolutely will fuck you from behind all the time so he has it on full display.
- Yes you would do it in the helicopter and hanger all the time.
- Spanking. That’s it. That’s the tweet.
- Can see he’s a bit of a brat tamer if you’re ever daring to be bratty with him.
- Goes mad for when you’re on your knees for him.
- Size kink.
- Absolute God with bondage. Will turn you into a rope bunny.
- if you’re into it, cuckolding with Price. Has the biggest fantasy of watching Price have his way with you. Even going as far as wanting to be tied down as he watches you two.
- Also if you’re into it, threesomes with Price naturally. He loves to share you with him.
- He is very handsy. The moment you’re both alone, he’s already all over you.
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thebadgerclan · 2 years ago
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Reunited
Pairing: Kaz Brekker x sister!reader, Nikolai Lantsov x reader
Summary: After 15 years, you are reunited with your brother...
Part 2 to “Sister”
A/N: I appreciate all the love that “Sister” got, but I will be capping this at 2 parts.  School is, unfortunately, more important than fanfiction 😂❤
Also yes I made Wesper married, I fucked with canon enough, enjoy
The King of Ravka watched as you shrugged off your silk dressing gown and joined him in bed, opening his arms to you.  “Oh, I forgot to tell you,” you said, extinguishing the lamp on your bedside table.  “My brother’s coming to town.”  Nikolai raised a brow.  “He is?  Why?”  “Apparently he and his friends have been hired for a job.  A job they need my assistance for.”  The King cocked his head as you snuggled into his chest.  “What kind of job?”  “All I know is that they need to get into the Religious Archives alone.  Beyond that, I have no idea.”
You’d told your husband about your brothers, about Hertzoon, how you’d come to Ravka shortly after your wedding.  It was only thanks to Nikolai, well, thanks to Sturmhond, that you’d been able to locate your brother and contact him.  Over the span of several months, you and Kaz had caught up on the 15 years of lost time, learned everything you’d missed on.  You’d discovered that your eldest brother, Jordie, had not survived, that Kaz had risen to prominence in the Barrel and was set on bringing Rollins, the man who had masqueraded as Jakob Hertzoon, to his knees.
And Kaz had learned that you were Queen of Ravka.  Part of him seethed with jealousy: you’d been brought up in the lap of luxury while he’d had to fight for every scrap, every penny, but he supposed he couldn’t be angry at you for that.  And your position had turned out to be a boon to he and his Crows; giving him a way into the Religious Archives.  As soon as Kaz had received the letter confirming you’d help, he’d gathered his flock and set off for Ravka.
***
“You’re fussing.”  “I am not fussing.”  “Yes, you are, my love.”  Nikolai took your hands, pulling them from where you’d been fidgeting with your hair, drawing your attention to him.  “I haven’t seen my brother in 15 years,” you said, letting your nerves bubble over.  “I don’t even know what he looks like now, let alone what he’s like.  Saints, I don’t even know wha-”  “Hey, hey,” your husband soothed, kissing your forehead.  “Take a breath, lovely.
“I know that you’re nervous, and I know that you’re a little bit scared, but I promise you that everything will be alright.  He’s your brother, and even though it’s been a long time, that hasn’t changed.  Just be yourself, Y/N, he’ll love you.”  Before you could respond, before your thoughts could spiral, the doors to the receiving chambers opened.  
“Presenting Mister Kaz Brekker, Miss Inej Ghafa, Mister Jesper Fahey, Mister Wylan Fahey, Miss Nina Zenik, and Mister Matthias Helvar.”  Your brother and his companions entered, and the guard bowed to you.  “His Most Royal Majesty, Nikolai Lantsov, and Her Most Royal Majesty, Queen Y/N Lantsov.”  With another bow, the guard departed, leaving the eight of you alone.
“It’s really you,” Kaz said, both to you and himself.  Gone was the little girl from Lij, afraid of the bustle of Ketterdam.  In her place stood a woman; a regal, beautiful woman, clothed in sky blue silk and diamonds, a Queen.  “It is,” you said, a tearful smile on your face.  When you stepped forward, arms extended, hoping for an embrace, your brother stepped back, drawing a sharp breath.  At once, you recalled one of his letters: Since that night on the Barge, I can’t bear to touch anyone.  Every time I brush against someone, I’m right back there with Jordie.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, quickly composing yourself.  “These must be your friends you’ve told me all about.”  Kaz cleared his throat.  “Yes.  Inej, Jesper, Wylan, Nina, and Matthias.”  Nina was the only one who dipped into a curtsey; as she was the only one who recognized you as her Queen.  “Please, sit.  I gather we have much to discuss.”  Nikolai seated himself with you on a loveseat, and your brother and his Crows gathered around.  Your husband and Jesper fell into easy conversation, and you smiled when he took your hand.
“So Kaz,” you said, clearing your throat.  “Tell me about this job in the archives.”  “A Shu priest claims that the remains of one of Sankt Kho’s clockwork soldiers resided in the archives,” he said.  “We’ve been tasked with returning it.”  You nodded, rising to pour yourself tea.  “There are indeed remains here, but whether they’re authentic is unclear.  Only a highly skilled Durast could tell, and even then it’s not certain.”
Kaz nodded, slowly spinning his cane between his hands.  “The priest said as much.  We’ve been guaranteed payment even if the remains aren’t genuine.”  “That’s all well and good, but how do you plan to conceal the fact that you’re taking the remains?  Those Archives are open to the public, people will notice their absence.”  Your brother rolled his eyes.  “If only I’d thought of that.  Jesper.”
The lanky Zemini stood and opened the satchel as his side, showing you what lay within.  “I happen to have  Durast on my team,” Kaz said.  “One who has become rather proficient in replication.  It’s not perfect, but to a casual viewer, even a monk, it’s identical.  If the clockwork soldier’s remains are real, then you have a nearly perfect replica.  If they’re a fake, then you’ve got yourself a new fake.”
You nodded.  This wasn’t the first heist your brother and his team had pulled off, you knew, but it was fascinating to watch his mind at work.  “Very well.  I can get you in at 10 bells tonight, but you have to be out by 1 bell.”  Kaz nodded.  “Done.”  You rose and called for a servant, who entered an instant later.  “Please show Miss Ghafa, Miss Zenik, Mister Helvar, and the Misters Fahey to rooms where they can rest.  I wish to speak to Mister Brekker.”  “Of course, moya tsaritsa.”
When it was just you, Kaz, and Nikolai, you resumed your seat.  Your husband sensed your nervousness and took your hand, kissing it softly.  “Did you ever think about me?” you asked, your gaze in your lap.  “After I left?”  “Of course I did,” your brother replied.  “Every single day, Y/N.  You and Jordie.  I swore that I’d get revenge for you, and maybe with this job, I’ll be one step closer.”  You lifted you face to find Kaz looking at you, and for a moment, it was like you were back in Ketterdam.
“I’m so sorry,” you whispered.  “You have suffered so much, and I…”  You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself.  “I grew up with every privilege, anything and everything I could ever want.  But I never forgot about you, Kaz.  Or Jordie.  Even when I didn’t know if you’d survived, I prayed for you.  To the Saints, to Ghezen, to anyone who’d listen.  And I am so, so sorry for everything you’ve gone through, and if I’d known, I’d ha-”
“Y/N,” Kaz said, leaning across the space between you and taking your hand.  You froze, knowing how much effort this was likely taking him.  “Y/N, you don’t have to apologize to me.  What happened to us, to me, no one could have stopped it.  Yes, I’ve suffered, but I’ve also fought for what I have.  And I’m so damn grateful that you didn’t have to suffer, that you didn’t have to fight.  Look at you; happy and healthy, a husband who loves you, you’re a Queen.  And if an ounce of my suffering bought you this happiness, then I am glad to have done it.”
Cautiously, you took his hand in both of yours, and while he squeezed his eyes shut, he did not pull away.  “Kaz, I–”  “You’re still my baby sister, Y/N,” he interrupted.  “Queen or not.  And I will do whatever I can to protect my baby sister.”  “By 1 year!” you said, and your brother laughed.  You and Kaz rose at once, and to your great surprise, he pulled you into his arms.  “I love you,” he said.  “Sister, I love you.”  “I love you too, Kaz,” you replied, tears spilling over.
When you broke the embrace, Nikolai extended a hand, which Kaz took, clasping it for a bare second.  “You know,” your husband said.  “If you ever want to get rid of this ‘Pekka Rollins’, I might be able to help with that.”  Kaz cocked his head.  “How so?”  “Well, he is indirectly responsible for your brother’s death, am I right?”  A nod.  “In that case, he’s responsible for the death of the Queen of Ravka’s brother, which is punishable by life imprisonment.”
Kaz nodded.  “I appreciate the offer,” he said, adjusting his hold in his cane.  “But when Pekka Rollins is brought down, I want it to be at my hand.  For Jordie.”  He looked at you, smiling softly.  “And for Y/N.”  Nikolai nodded.  “Very well.  But should you change your mind, the offer still stands.”  “I’ll keep that in mind.”  Your brother and husband exchanged a few more words before the former departed, leaving you and Nikolai in the receiving chamber.  “Do you think they’ll pull it off?” he asked, draping an arm over your shoulder.  “He’s Kaz Brekker,” you responded.  “Of course he will.”
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homosexualgirlandbags · 8 days ago
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Quick little drabble
Nikolai is constantly creating scenarios where Price ends up pressed against him, that, or within grabbing distance. They are in a mall? Nikolai makes sure that they are in a crowded space, resulting in the Brit pressing against him. They are on base and Price is busy training the recruits? Nikolai is there to offer water to the recruits while slinging an arm around Price's shoulder.
This also extends to their home life btw, after Nikolai officially moved in to Price's apartment (after far too much pinning), he's constantly snuggled up to Price, hands occasionally wandering below his pants...
Price doesn't mind that Nikolai is constantly lingering near him. He sees it as a sign of comfort, that him and his loved ones are safe and sound.
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sentientcave · 1 year ago
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Hey friends! I'm Charlie (He/They) and sometimes I write things! This is an adult only space please, so Minors Do Not Interact. I'm too old to want to deal with kids on here. I will also block blank and ageless blogs. Get into the tumblr spirit gang. If you aren't reblogging what are you even doing here? Tumblr relies on a collaborative spirit and you can aid in that with a very easy low commitment activity that also makes you not look like a bot. Cool!
~Master List~
Two Graves - Phillip Graves is haunted by the memory of his older brother
Fuck-ass Mohawk - Johnny likes it when you're mean to him (And Ghost does too)
Pompeii//Good Grief - Dealing with loss during a mission gone wrong- Or maybe gone right.
And They Were Roommates
Fem!Soap x Fem Reader - You're looking for a roommate, and Jaime Mactavish figures she's the right woman for the job.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
Heavy Weighs the Crown
Fantasy AU - A princess in self-imposed exile is forced to come home to face the man who took her father's crown and the life she left behind. 141 x Reader.
Chapter Index
Retirement Party
Price has retired from Military life, and he's not handling the change well. But on the one year anniversary of him hanging it up, his boys bring him something special to help keep him busy. You. (Dark fic! Read the content warnings)
Chapter Index
Dogs Will Hunt
Honey It's Alright- Part 1
Sadie Blackmoore-Price in
Nobody Does it Better - Sadie and John reconnect for a night
You Only Live Twice (In Progress)
Sparrowverse
Fics in an extended original character universe. I'll get around to posting Sparrow one of these days.
Cherry Bomb - Nikolai meets one of his Aunt's old school friends and tries not to fall in love.
You Drive Me Wild - Nikolai and Helena meet again three years later
WIP WEDNESDAY BAYBEE
Snippets and previews of things in the works
Rugby - Rugby Again - More Rugby - The Righteous Hand - Impound - More Impound - Sparrow - TNT - Lucky Bunny - Daddy's Girl - Sparrow Again + Retirement Party
#Cave Writing for unlinked works and me complaining about writing
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flurry-of-stars · 8 months ago
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⋆˖⁺‧₊☼𝓞 𝓢𝓸𝓵 𝓮 𝓪 𝓛𝓾𝓪☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
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𝒫𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔: Idol! Nikolai x Idol! Reader
𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒: Fluff, romance, reader is a bit anxious/experiencing some self-doubts.
𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 3.2k 𝓐𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮: I was possessed, trust. It's been a rough week so I'm writing something soft. This was only meant to be like 1k words so oopsss. Set a few years before this fic! Also this is my first time writing a proper dance scene so-- (ᵕ—ᴗ—) Also, also for the songs mentioned, the first could be any song of your choosing! I listened to like three different songs so ( ≧ᗜ≦) For the second, it's Señorita by Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes. And the third is We're in love by Boygenius ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎
𝕽𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌𝖘 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖞 𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖉 ♡
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You were like the moon. Mystifyingly bewitching, with an aura of mystery and intrigue that drew Nikolai’s gaze like a moth to a flame.
His heterochromatic eyes remain fixed on you as you twirl and dance to the pulsating rhythm of the music, following the choreography you’d meticulously crafted together over the past two months. 
Your movements were graceful and energetic, your body gliding effortlessly across the stage as you immersed yourself in your performance, the ruffles of your short blue skirt and white blouse swaying with your movements.
From time to time, you lift a prop microphone to your lips, singing along with the song playing. Though Nikolai notices you mostly forget to lift the prop when you sing. But it’s not a big deal; not when your dance was flawless, every step executed with precision and passion. Not to mention the way you kept a steady singing voice while dancing across the stage like this. As you dance under the soft, white light of the theatre stage, bathed in the glow of the spotlight that make you shine like a star, Nikolai leans back in his seat, captivated by your performance.
The generic pop song served as the backing track for your stunning performance, it’s upbeat tempo driving the rhythm of your dance, filling the air with an infectious energy. He flashes you a mischievous grin as you walk up to the edge of the stage, crouching, pretending to reach out to touch his hand as if he would be an adoring fan.
He chuckles under his breath; well, he supposed he was technically your biggest fan.
A sweet smile adorns your face as you extend your hand towards his when suddenly, a devious glint flickers in his eyes. He suddenly seizes your wrist, pulling you off the stage with a playful tug. A surprised squeal escapes your lips, the prop microphone slipping from your grasp as he easily pulls you into his embrace. His grin widens as he nuzzles into the side of your face, the pop song fading into silence as your playlist comes to an end.  “Kolya~!” You giggle as he peppers kisses the side of your neck and cheek, showering you with affection. Your hands find their way to his cheeks, cupping them tenderly as your foreheads press together tenderly. You whisper, “You’re supposed to be critiquing me…~” “Mmm, here’s my critique,” he murmurs,leaning in to kiss your nose fleetingly, “Perfect~”
He moves to your cheek, pressing a soft kiss against it, “Remarkable~”
And the other, “Dazzling~”
Finally, his lips hover just millimeters from yours, teasingly close. Your warm breath intermingles with his, and you catch the scent of the cologne he’s chosen to wear today. It smells rich and sweet, reminiscent of a sticky caramel apple bought fresh from the fair.
Your fingers tenderly caress his soft cheeks, your index finger tenderly caressing the bottom of the scar sliced down his left eye as he hums, moving in closer. “You looked like a true idol~” He finishes, letting his lips press to yours in a tender kiss. Your lips melt into his, pressing together like two pieces of a puzzle. As though you were meant to be. It lasts only a few seconds before he withdraws, pale blue and green eyes gleaming with a mixture of warmth and playfulness as he tousles your hair, earning another delighted squeal from you, “I don’t understand why you’re so anxious about the audition, songbird. You have a natural gift for this.” As you smooth down your hair, a lingering sense of uncertainty and doubt persists in the depths of your heart.
Nikolai had been saying that on repeat ever since you first shared the flyer for the auditions with him. He had been genuinely excited and eager to join you in trying out for this new idol company. You knew without a shadow of a doubt that Nikolai would shine. 
As the university’s most known theatre major, he ranked at the top of his class, exuding charisma and a presence fit for the stage. He was like the sun, radiating confident, full of energy, yet veiled in an air of mystery not even you had even uncovered yet. One thing was for certain; he was born for the stage. Compared to you, who merely dreamed of actually performing. That’s why only one of you was a theatre major. He was captivating and talented beyond his years. You weren’t the only one who thought that.
According to the rumours you’d overheard, well known and popular acting companies and directors were reaching out to him, vying for his attention. His name was becoming more and more well known around the country.
It left you lying awake at night in your shared dorm, wondering if he’d actually received these opportunities and hadn't told you about them. Or if he’d accept one without even mentioning it to you first.  Would Nikolai actually do that? Would he really accept one of these opportunities without discussing it with you first? It wouldn't surprise you; after all, the sun didn’t need the moon in order to shine… His reaction when you presented him with the audition flyer mirrored how you’d always imagined he would react when the talent scouts came knocking.
And yet, when the rumours began circulating, you’d returned to your shared dorm to find him idly playing a game, engrossed by it in fact. Well, until you walked in at least. 
At this moment, sitting in silence like this, Nikolai’s gaze scans your features, eyes narrowing slightly.
A subtle frown tugs at your lips, your expression troubled. Your brows knit together with concern and your eyes shimmer with self-doubt. With a soft exhale, Nikolai discerns your anxiety and inner turmoil all too well. You gasp as Nikolai suddenly scoops you up, rising out of the theatre's cramped chair and carrying you back towards the stage as if you weighed nothing.
His shoes thump against the hardwood of the stage, gently moving his arms and helping you place your feet back onto the ground. “Let’s practice the duo routine,” he brightly suggested, his hand reaching out towards yours, his mismatched eyes glimmering under the intense lights of the stage that shone around him like a halo of light, casting his frame in the warm light. Illuminating. Just like the sun. Your bottom lip trembles, brows furrowing and eyes moving between Nikolai’s warm, comforting smile and the hand he’s offering you. You reach out for a moment, hesitating. Your hand pauses before you begin to draw it back. But Nikolai doesn’t let you refuse him, his hand reaching forward to grab your hand before you can recoil. His fingers intertwine with yours as he pulls you in, a soft gasp escaping you, your chest almost pressing against his toned chest. He gives you a sly grin, his eyes shining with mischief, “Well? Are you gonna start the music~?” There’s a flutter of urgency in your chest as you turn your head, calling out your phone in a soft voice as you pull away from each other. Your voice echoes across the empty theatre as you walk to one side of the stage and Nikolai to the other, “Play my duo playlist.” A few heartbeats later, the first notes of a Latin Pop melody fill the empty theatre, its rhythm moderate and enticing.
The smooth, sultry beat pulses through the room, electrifying the atmosphere. Your heart quickens, a mixture of excitement and anxiety pumping through your veins. For months, amidst the chaos of exams and assignments, you’ve rehearsed this choreography relentlessly and now, as the music envelops you, it’s time to prove how far you’ve come. You follow Nikolai’s lead, his confident strides drawing you towards the centre of the stage. With each step, the spotlight intensifies, casting a warm glow upon you in anticipation. As you inhale deeply, trying to calm the whirlwind of thoughts in your mind, Nikolai’s voice cuts through the chaos. “Songbird.” He murmurs, his tone gentle yet firm, pulling you back from the edge of your nerves. You meet his gaze and a reassuring smile curves onto his lips, “Don’t overthink it. Let the music guide you. Trust yourself, remember?” You nod, swallowing the lump of apprehension in your throat. Trust. Feel. Pushing aside your doubts, you allow yourself to submit to the intoxicating rhythm of the music. Your body moves instinctively, syncing with Nikolai’s as your body brushes against his, the heat of his presence searing through the air. His touch is electrifying as his hand trails from your hair down to cup your cheek, his thumb gently brushing against it in silent reassurance. Your own gentle hands find their place on his broad chest, a tangible connection that grounds you in the moment as you caress the soft fabric of his tight, ruffled top and the firm muscles beneath.
With a gentle push, you feign resistance, a playful spark igniting between you as you dance. It’s not just a choreography now; it’s a story woven through movement and touch. You begin to lose yourself in the dance, the boundaries between reality and performance blurring, leaving only the raw emotion pulsing between you and Nikolai.
His hand delicately intertwines with yours, the rhythm of the music guiding your swaying hips in perfect harmony.
But as the tension mounts, you pull away, your backs now pressed intimately against each other, the heat between you palpable. In this moment of separation, the spark between you ignites into a familiar blaze of passion, drawing you back together in a magnetic pull.
As you turn to face one another, your hand grazes his chest, sensing the rapid beat of his heart beneath your touch.
His gaze, a mesmerizing blend of colors, smolders with an underlying fervor for you, compelling you to circle around him. His grasp on your hand is firm yet tender, drawing you back into his embrace.
With the music swelling around you, Nikolai's hand finds your knee, pulling you into a graceful dip, your foreheads meeting in a fleeting moment of tenderness. In the depths of his captivating eyes, the flames of desire burn brightly, consuming you both in their fiery embrace. Lost in the moment, you almost falter, but his touch grounds you, guiding you back to your feet and into the next sequence of the dance.
As you gracefully execute your solo choreography, Nikolai mirrors your movements, his own steps echoing a tale of unwavering devotion and determination.
Each twirl and flourish of his hands speaks volumes of his relentless pursuit of your heart.
In contrast, your choreography tells a story of vulnerability and guardedness, a woman wary of surrendering to love once more.
But as your bodies draw near once more, the narrative shifts, the barriers crumbling in the face of undeniable attraction. His hands find your hips, anchoring you to him, while your arms encircle his shoulders, sealing the inevitable conclusion of your intertwined destinies.
In this dance of love and longing, the conclusion is clear: he has won your heart, just as you have won his.
As the music fades into the background, the echo of your shared journey lingers in the air, a testament to the power of connection and the magic of the dance.
You pant softly, not pulling away from Nikolai right away as he holds you. His blue-green eyes shine under the stagelight like two burning stars, aching for you. His warm breath lightly caresses your lips as he leans in close to you. You move closer to him as the next song begins to play; a soft indie folk song this time.
The tempo is much slower, more gentle. It’s a song from the playlist you made for yourself and Nikolai. You’re not sure how this song ended up on your duo playlist. It isn’t exactly a melody you could dance to. But the gentle melody tugs you closer to Nikolai. Your soft lips linger near his, overwhelmed by the rich smell of his cologne and the warmth of his body. Only then to pause right before making contact. What if I’m not enough for him? As if overhearing your inner fears, Nikolai takes the plunge with renewed vigor. He suddenly lifts you off the ground, making you gasp in surprise, your legs wrapping around his waist tightly.
One palm rests under your rear, supporting you. The other grabs the back of your neck, pulling you in for an intimate kiss. The passion that had been ignited between you both through dance spills over into the kiss, causing him to kiss you hungrily. You sigh, your eyes closing as you return his kiss with equal fervor. Your hands grip his shoulders desperately. His hand trails up to the back of your head, entangling itself in your soft locks as he deepens the kiss, his teeth grazing against your bottom lip before he pulls back, leaving you both panting and breathless for a few moments. White strands of hair press against your forehead as he leans his forehead against yours, gazing into the depths of your eyes.
He whispers, his voice carrying with it the firm determination of a promise, “My songbird, how many times will I have to tell you not to overthink things?” You attempt to look away as your cheeks heat up but Nikolai doesn’t allow you to avert your gaze.
His hand stays firm on the back of your head, his eyes peering into the depths of yours as he adds, “You know if I truly wanted to, I wouldn’t still be here by your side. So why do you keep looking at me like that?” Your eyes widen. Nikolai gives the faintest smirk; of course he’d notice. You should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to slip your emotions past him undetected. He could read you like a book. He always could. You take a deep breath, pulling back as much as he will allow you. Your hands move to caress his shoulders, your gaze averting his as you mumble, “You’re so amazing, you know that?” Blinking a few times in surprise, Nikolai chuckles softly, leaning forward to kiss your cheek, “Compliments? All of a sudden, songbird–”
He’s taken off guard when your hands suddenly cup his cheeks, stopping him mid-kiss. When you look at him, he doesn’t see the usual flustered or loving warmth in your eyes he usually sees when you compliment him. Instead, he sees a flicker of fear in your eyes. He watches you swallow before continuing to speak, the song that was playing slowly fading into silence. Your voice is soft, filled with pride but also anxiety,
“I mean it, Kolya. You’re the top theatre major in the entire university. Possibly in the entire country. You breathe and you get any lead role you want..” You take a sharp breath, feeling your anxieties rising to the surface. “The minute we arrive at the audition, I bet they’ll be begging you to sign a contract with them. Just like all those acting companies…” You watch as his expression softens into a look of understanding. You offer a small, bitter smile, “The rumors are true, aren’t they?” You hop forward in his arms, feeling Nikolai’s arm tighten under you. “Did you sign anything? Where will you be going? They’re letting you finish university first, aren’t they?” “No,” he replies, clicking his tongue and shaking his head softly. “I didn’t sign anything, songbird.”
You stare at him in surprise, the shock evident in your eyes. After a few moments of stunned silence, you manage to utter one simple word, “...What?”
He chuckles, his smirk lighting up your heart as you see it. “I didn’t sign any of the contracts,” he confesses. He looks away, humming in thought. “There were some really good ones there too…”
“Wait, why not?!” You rock in his arms, causing him to groan. His hand moves fast, placing itself on your back to steady you. “Wasn’t becoming an actor your dream?”
Still humming, he looks back at you, shrugging idly.
His voice is rather chipper as he replies, “Well, I definitely could still accept one of the contracts in the future. But being an idol with my pretty songbird sounds much more fun. Can you imagine it?”
You squeal as he spins, holding you close. His dazzling eyes never leave yours as he stares up at you, twirling and stepping around the stage, spinning you with him. “Us performing together! I can already hear the crowd screaming for us!~”
As his spinning slowly comes to a stop, you wait a few moments for your stomach to settle before speaking up, “But what if I don’t get in? What if I don’t make the cut?”
A warm chuckle escapes his lips as he shakes his head, his hand lightly caressing your back. “I told you before, didn’t I? When you start performing, when you're not overthinking every step, you look like a true idol songbird.”
He leans forward to boop his nose against yours, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. He doesn't comment on the growing kindness in your cheeks as he whispers.
“I wasn’t just saying that to be nice. I meant it. And if that company can’t see that, then I wouldn’t want to sign with them anyway~”
“But you can’t keep passing up opportunities like this–” You squeak as he leans in, nuzzling against your cheek playfully, yet affectionately.
“If they don’t know true talent when they see it, why would I ever think about signing with them? And I’m not passing up opportunities. I’m just exploring all possible avenues~”
You huff, a small amused smile lifting onto your face.
Doubt attempts to creep into your heart once more, your smile faltering as you ask, “Are you really–”
“Yes, songbird. I’m really serious,” he interrupts you, his voice losing its playful tone and becoming more serious. He cups your cheek, turning your head gently so he can gaze into your eyes once more.
His thumb lightly caresses your soft skin as he whispers, “You’re going to shine so much out there, all the stars in the sky will be jealous~” He kisses your cheek softly, sweetly, adding, “Trust yourself, remember songbird?”
Your lips quirk upwards into a grateful smile, your arms wrapping around Nikolai as you embrace him tightly once more.
He chuckles, slowly settling you back down on your feet, his hand resting ontop of your head. Instead of ruffling your hair, he gently pats your head.
“I’ll…do my best,” you reply. Eyes turning upwards towards Nikolai, you offer him a slightly brighter smile. He grins at you, letting you go collect your belongings from backstage, his eyes watching you closely.
There was a bit more pep in your step. Good. His grin grows as he approaches you, taking his black jacket off, covering your shoulders with it as he speaks to you in a more cheerful voice, “Why don’t we grab dinner. My treat~”
You grab the warm fabric of his jacket, tugging it close. Then, you pick up your handbag, “You promise you’ll get anything?”
He clicks his tongue, his arm wrapping around your shoulders as he begins to guide you towards the theatre’s doors, chuckling, “Okay, okay~ Only because you did so amazing today. You were practising instead of studying, weren’t you?”
“No I wasn’t–~!”
“You moved so elegantly, and the energy you had on stage this time... You've come such a long way! Just think of how much more you’ll shine when you’re in your outfit! We’ll have to get up early to get a head start on your makeup too–!”
As he eagerly leads you out of the theatre, dimming the lights as you depart together, he wraps his arm around you, savouring the way you giggle and blush.
In that moment, as dusk envelops you both, it's clear: while the moon may doubt her significance to the sun, the sun knows his light would dim without the moon by his side.
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:*𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
@tecchoussuperlady @hearts4heidi @lovestruckbook @wixxlemuff @twinkaesop @livelaughyo @yonseibananamilk @honeyangelsblog @soggyoreoinmilk @verminthorr @lunarmin716 @cherridove @slowlyfoulenthusiast
Dividers: @/saradika
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barbarianbookhoe · 1 year ago
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Artists and Muses
Requested by: @dreampissybaby
Request: "Hi! I was hoping you could write a request, please ignore this if you don't feel comfortable writing this. Alina introducing shy!reader to Nikolai. and she's just like quiet and in awe, but Nikolai loves. Like it took Alina three weeks to get reader to smile at her and it takes Nikolai 15 minutes to make her smile. And she feels super comfortable with him"
A/N: this is pure heartwarming fluff, though I added a lil twist to make it more exciting if that's okay. (The twist being Nikolai and reader were friends, I know, what a shock.)
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Your time at the Spinning Wheel seemed to blend into one, long moment. You didn't spoke to anyone if it wasn't nessecary. Mostly because you didn't know what to say, but also because you were never the type to make small talk. You always had a hard time opening up to people, or just talk to someone without getting nervous about what you should or shouldn't say. You were shy in the sense that you favored comfortable silence over pointless conversation.
When the doors to the Spinning Wheel opened, you didn't look up to see who it was. Many people came in for the past week, and you felt less and less hopeful when you realized nor Alina, nor Mal was among them. As you walked down the big entrance hall to find more bandages, a familiar voice stopped you in your tracks.
"Y/N?" You heard a woman say and when you turned, you saw Alina standing at the entrance, Mal right next to her. "Y/N!" She shouted and made a run towards you. You didn't know what took a hold of you, but you began running too, and the two of you met in the middle with a crushing hug.
The two of you squeezed each other with a painful grip, before another voice spoke up. "Can I have my girl back now?" Mal said with a smile and the two girl made space for him to hug all of them.
You basked in their warmth, before you broke the hug. "I can't believe you're here! I almost began to think that you..." You swalloed before you continued with a head shake. "It doesn't matter now. How did you get here anyway?"
"We bargained our way onto Sturmhond's ship, then found the Sea Whip and I got my second amplifier to finally end Kirigan, then we got here on a flying ship which ended with a shipwreck from the sky, and we found out that Sturmhond is secretly-"
"Nikolai Lantsov." You whispered as you looked behind them to see him step through the doors. You watched him with a mix of shock and amazement. So he's the one who saved your friends?
Alina noticed the way you stared at him, and she smiled briefly at Mal before taking your arm in hers and leading the two of you to him. "I'd like you to meet the person who saved and then betrayed us."
"Betray? That's a harsh word. And if I remember correctly, I got my fare share of punishment for it. Still hurts by the way," Nikolai pointed to the side of his face and Alina rolled her eyes at him.
"And who is that pretty lady next to you?" Nikolai asked all of a sudden and turned his head to look at you. You began placing yourself behind Alina, but she was quick to hold you next to her, where he could see you.
"Y/N, this is Nikolai, Nikolai this is Y/N, my and Mal's best friend. She's who I told you about, who helped me escape in secret. Also, an excellent storyteller." You looked at her with wide eyes, pleading to let you go, but she just sweetly smiled back at you.
"Y/N? I've been looking for you for quite some time now. I suppose you escaped with Alina, then." Nikolai extended his hand for you to shake and you accepted it. After you left go of his familiar warmth, you clasped both of your hands behind your back. You nodded in agreement.
"That's why you're here." He smiled at you, but your face remained neutral, looking at him with curiosity. "I don't want to sound like the flirt everyone seems to make me out to be, but I don't forget a face such as yours, Gorgeous." He exaggerated on the last word and it made you chuckle.
You smiled as you questioned him. "Are you sure that you're not a flirt? You seem like the biggest one, Your Higness." Your smile didn't falter as he looked back at you with amusement. "That's the worst accusation I've ever heard about myself, and believe me, I've heart quite a lot of nasty things." He said and you chuckled again.
Alina looked at the two of you with wide eyes as she tried to piece together what was happening. You connected with the prince under mere seconds. What took Alina almost three weeks to achieve, it took Nikolai only one minute to make you smile and talk to him.
Mal came to stand next to Alina and the couple watched you and Nikolai smile and laugh at each other, with genuine curiosity and confusion. They were trying to figure out the connection between you, because they didn't think that their shy friend would randomly have a conversation with the Prince.
They both noticed that you were quick to smile at him, even though you still didn't talk that much, but definitely more than you used to. They also noticed the look in Nikolai's eyes as he noticed your small movements, hoping to get a message from those, if not your words.
"This might be a wrong time and place to ask this, but I'm a naturally curious person as you know, so my question is, would you be willing to tell one of your infamous tales? I never heard a single one, while I was in the Palace." Nikolai asked you, and the question made the smile falter from your face.
For once in your life, you didn't think about the words that came out of your mouth as you answered. "There never will be a good time for this, Nikolai. Might as well do it sooner than later. Who knows when will be the next time we can enjoy our lives, without constantly worrying if the next day will come?"
Nikolai looked back at you with a newfound amazement as he looked at you. Your words certainly made an impact on him, because you were quick to look away from his intense stare, and onto the floor. You were about to excuse yourself and go away, but then Nikolai spoke up with a sweet voice.
"You've changed since the last time I saw you. You became a little more spontaneous. I was curious before, but now I'm desperate to finally talk to you." He said and you stared back at him for a few seconds, before you lightly smiled at him.
"And when should we-" Your words were interrupted by one of the Grishas, an Inferni who you've been helping in the last week.
"Y/N! I need your help! Could you come with me real quick?" She asked and with an apologetic look you nodded to Nikolai, and left with the Inferni.
------------Later at Night-----------
It wasn't until midnight that you met Nikolai again. You bid goodnight to Alina and Mal, after the three of you caught up on the past few weeks, annoying Mal to the point he almost went to ask Tamar to execute him. Twice.
You were strolling through the halls and quickly regretted not borrowing the coat Mal handed to you. The halls were cold and you only had your long sleeved, blue dress on you. Sure, you had a thin nightgown under it, but it was a sorry excuse for warmth.
You went down another corridor, when all of a sudden, the doors next to you opened, revealing a muscled chest buried in a thick green robe. After you were done studying his chest, you looked up to see a smirking Nikolai looking back at you. You quickly turned your head away from him, hiding your flushed face.
"Nice to see you too," Nikolai chuckled and from the corner of your eye, you saw him tying the robe in front of his chest, covering up the muscles. He closed the door behind him and pointed forward, indicating a walk.
He fell in line next to you, as you tried to think of something to say. You always felt comfortable in his presence, that wasn't a problem, but you were quite nervous after seeing his really-not-so-bad muscles. You never knew what lied beneath those shirts and waistcoats while you worked at the Palace.
"You know that you can talk to me, right? You don't have to be nervous about saying something wrong," Nikolai softly said and you thankfully looked at him.
After a few more seconds of silence, Nikolai stopped you dead in your tracks with stepping in front of you. You almost collided with him, had he not took a step back to make a little space between you two.
"This might come off like I'm pressuring you, but I'm dying to know, and you know that I'm not exactly the most patient person." Nikolai quickly said, and you opened your mouth to question him, but he was quick to cut you off.
"I know that I have no business asking this, especially right now, but where have you been?" He asked with genuine concern. "For the last year I was asking about you, but you vanished into thin air. I mean, with Kirigan and the attacks I understand why one might go and-"
"You asked about me?" You asked on a quiet voice, and it made Nikolai look at you like you just told him the sky is green. "Of course I did. I even tried to locate you, but it was like your entire being got sweeped off the land."
Your heart skipped a beat at his words, amd you stared at him in shock. Did you really mean that much to him? Did he really try to found you of all people, during this war?
"But why?" You whispered and now it was Nikolai's turn to look at you in shock. "Why?" He breathlessly chuckled. "Why wouldn't I? You're the reason I did what I did in the last year. You kept me company while I sneeked out of the Palace, and quite honestly your words captivated me right then and there. You changed my entire perspective on everything I knew about Ravka and its people."
You looked at him with even more bewilderment than before, but took a risky step towards him, your eyes not leaving his. "And?" You asked on a soft voice, slightly tilting your head.
"And?" Nikolai asked back, and let out a slow breath before responding. "And I couldn't stop thinking about you. You were in my dreams, in my head, in the wind, you were everywhere. I couldn't stop imagining the moment I finally met you again. I could've even painted it if I had the talent for it." He swallowed as he looked down to his feet, like he was nervous.
You felt your breath get caught in your throat and you put a hand over your heart, while the other hugged your stomach. The nerves in your belly made your stomach turn in anticipation as you waited.
When Nikolai finnaly looked at you, you saw nothing but raw emotions in his eyes. Sincerity, pain and love. Yes, definitely love.
"I could write you poetry, I could paint you a hundred times, I could sing endless love songs to you. But I won't. I am no artist, Y/N." He closed that last remaining inch between the two of you and leaned closer to you, and you could feel his breath on your skin.
"Even if I'm a prince, even if I'm a bastard son, even if I'm a privateer, you are my muse. I am not an artist, but you are my muse, moye solnyshko."
[A/N: translation=my Sunshine]
His words made your heart practically burst out of your chest. You let your arms fall next to you, and took a quick look between Nikolai and his lips. Oh, to kiss him for just one moment. Would it be sweet like honey? Would it be soft like satin? Would it spin your head? You'd have to find out to know that.
"Can you," you started but the words seemed to die in your throat. Don't do this now. "I want you to," You whispered and despite what Nikolai said before, he stood there patiently, waiting for you to say what you wanted.
"Use your beautiful words, beautiful," Nikolai whispered and it was the only thing you needed to end the tension.
"I need you to kiss me." And within a second his lips were on yours. It was more than you expected. It was soft and warm, like a hug in the middle of winter. Nikolai was slow, like he was afraid you were going to vanish again if he let you go.
His hands found their way around your shoulders, and he hugged you close to himself. You clasped your hands behind his neck, keeping him from even attempting to pull away.
You had to break the kiss because you were running out of air, and the two of you panted as you tried to catch your breath. You looked at Nikolai with pure admiration, still not believing he spent an entire year looking for you, dreaming of you, thinking of you.
It made all of your sleepless night worth it. The nights you spent theorizing about where he could be, what could he be doing, if he even remembered you. This single kiss made this last year hurt a little less.
You were about to pull him in for another kiss, when a familiar voice interrupted you.
"Y/N, I've been looking for you every-" Alina said but when he saw the situation you and Nikolai were in, she quickly cleared hear throat. "Saints, I'm-I'm sorry for interrupting." She said. "I, uh, need Y/N for something. It'll be quick I promise."
She told the two of you, and you looked from her up to Nikolai, and before you could step away from him, he quickly whispered into your ear, so Alina wouldn't hear. "Meet me at your room."
You nodded while biting your bottom lip to keep yourself from smiling like an idiot. You let go of each other and you let Alina link your arms together, as she led you away.
You took a quick look back at Nikolai and saw him hiding a smile, which made you chuckle at him. The small noise made his face break out in a wide smile as he turned around.
"Mal and I were wondering if the two of you knew each other, because you were so comfortable with him earlier. Now I saw just how comfortable you are." Alina said with a light chuckle, before she continued. "You didn't seem so shy. Or is it just only with Nikolai?" She teased you and you attempted an angry glare at her, but she just giggled at you.
"Don't worry. You'll be back with your boyfriend in no time." Alina told you whick made your cheeks feel hot all of a sudden as you smiled to yourself.
For the first time in your life, you wouldn't be alone at night.
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neopentane5 · 8 months ago
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Would love to hear more headcannons about yuris personality. Read some of the ones you posted on twitter and they were so good i need more lol
Thank you for your interest! I will write a bit more about Yuri's personality analysis.
1. Yuri in Physical Aspects
Yuri's Great Strength and Lack of Control
Yuri's immense strength and lack of control stem from his past environment. Both he, Makarov, and other Russian soldiers considered such strength normal, though it actually exceeded normal limits (like when he gave Soap an injection). He likely used the same methods when dealing with Makarov for injections or bandaging.
Yuri's Exceptional Physical Fitness
Yuri's physical fitness is extraordinary, making him believe that everyone's physical fitness is on par with his. Despite falling from a waterfall, being bitten by a dog, or being impaled by a steel rod, he could still perform basic actions. You can imagine if his intestines were spilling out from a wound, Soap would be frantically alerting him, while he would calmly nod and say, "I know, just put them back in." This explains why, after falling from a building with Soap, he initially didn’t grasp the severity of the situation, not realizing Soap could die from it.
Yuri's Combat Skills and Mastery of Various Weapons and Drones
Both Yuri and Makarov were former Spetsnaz members, and joining Spetsnaz requires a minimum of being an officer. One of Yuri’s tattoos signifies "can be hired to kill," indicating his dangerous nature. He has been to prison for unknown reasons, but it can be speculated that he was either undercover or sent there by Makarov, who could easily get him out if needed. His tattoos also indicate a high status in prison, with his mere glance being enough to intimidate others.
In a hand-to-hand combat without weapons, Makarov wouldn’t stand a chance against Yuri.
Yuri's Preference for Cleanliness
When possible, Yuri shaves and washes his clothes regularly, even washing Makarov's clothes, as he believes maintaining cleanliness is crucial for health. However, he is not picky when conditions don’t allow it. He won’t complain about eating dirty food with Makarov or Makarov not bathing for days.
2. Yuri's Personality and Psychological Aspects
Yuri's Reserved Nature
Yuri speaks only when necessary, contributing to his intimidating presence in prison. If he doesn't want to answer, he remains silent, as seen when Soap mentioned his familiarity with Makarov, to which Yuri did not respond. Even in communication with Makarov, he often remains silent, especially when he disagrees. Instead of arguing, he expresses his discontent through silence and unhappy glances. This also applies when he doesn’t want intimacy with Makarov; he might say he’s tired or not in the mood, but more often, he remains silent.
Yuri Expresses Himself Through Actions
Though Yuri doesn’t argue with Makarov, he directly called the FSB to report him. This behavior extends to both his professional and personal life. While he struggles with verbal affection (he would, if pressured, awkwardly stammer through it with a blush), he proves his feelings through actions. He would shield Makarov from bullets and hold his hand in moments of despair, nodding to reassure him, “You still have me.”
Yuri's Loyalty and Realization of Love
Yuri is slow to recognize his own feelings, but once he does, he is unwavering in his devotion. He treats all deserving individuals well. On the battlefield, he would save every teammate, and his sincerity towards friends explains why he still has allies in the FSB and gains Nikolai’s approval. Makarov appreciates this trait deeply. Yuri’s approach to love is akin to his patriotism—loyal and steadfast, always wanting the best for his beloved.
Yuri's Gentleness and Attention to Detail
As Makarov’s right-hand man, Yuri must stay close, handling tasks like recording meetings, acting as a bodyguard, and listening to Makarov’s ambitions. Makarov values Yuri for his infrequent mistakes, attentiveness, and understanding of Makarov’s moods. Having endured the Soviet Union's collapse together, their bond is strong. When Makarov drinks heavily, Yuri changes his clothes, cleans him up, and puts him to bed.
Yuri's Clear Sense of Love and Hate
Yuri can take a bullet for Makarov without hesitation but can also shoot him if necessary, without a second thought.
Yuri's Shyness with Affection
Yuri is easily embarrassed, especially when faced with direct expressions of love, as he doesn’t know how to handle them.
That’s all for now! Feel free to add more!
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heliads · 2 years ago
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req with nikolai lantsov x reader. they are married for convenience but are friends and support each other until they fall in love and everyone notices but them. reader and nikolai kiss a few times and sleep together but never talk about it. when zoya becomes queen nikolai asks reader if she will want to stay married to him and reader says she loves him, with or without a crown. angst with a lot of fluff at the end please!
anon i love the way you think (also all hail dragon queen zoya)
masterlist
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Your husband may be joining you shortly.
It’s still strange to be saying that. Your husband, your king, your friend above all. Nikolai Lantsov has always been a great conspirator, a wonderfully clever thinker, so you trusted that he wasn’t merely making a drunken mistake when he asked for your hand in marriage over too many drinks one late night. Nikolai doesn’t do drunken mistakes. In fact, you think he gets drunk on purpose when making difficult choices to twist his enemies into thinking that they’ve got the upper hand, all so he can trick them when their eyes are closed in self-congratulation.
It might be a habit left over from his time burning the seas as Sturmhond, or it could just be Nikolai himself. Always the schemer, him; always the planner, the one with the ideas. His eyes glint like ice, his hair shines like metal. Both can cut if given the chance. No Lantsov would ever let themselves go into the unknown vastness without a weapon, even if the only one left is their own physical flesh and bone.
No, Nikolai wasn’t kidding when he asked you to marry him. By all accounts, it was a logical choice. The other nations had been clamoring for him to wed one of their daughters for quite some time now, and marrying you gave Nikolai an easy way out. You were a Ravkan noble, and well-connected to the independence cause while the Darkling was still in power. Having you as his bride would alienate no foreign powers just as it would connect him even further to his own people.
That’s the reason he gave you at least, his fingers tented in the shadow of a half-empty glass of champagne. The two of you were somewhere inside one of the Grand Palace’s mammoth rooms, far from the slippery wastes of the shadows outside. Nikolai always gambled best when his feet were on his own ground, when he didn’t have to fear anything or anyone interrupting his flow of thought. He could trick you into pledging your loyalty regardless of where he stood, of course, but it could never hurt to get the odds all in his favor.
You had said yes. Of course you had. You are Nikolai’s best friend, or so you like to claim. You think it could be true at one point. Maybe that will come after the veil descends over your eyes and a ring appears on your finger. Still, you think you’ll remember the way Nikolai’s gaze had sparked with triumph upon hearing your answers for years to come, as well as how he’d finally allowed a tipsy flush to descend upon his cheeks. Perhaps it wouldn’t be a terrible mistake after all.
The wedding served its political purpose. The biggest change the marriage gave your life was that it handed you a permanent spot in the Grand Palace. Before, you were always temporary, forever having your terms of service extended as your help was needed more and more in the war effort. Now, you’re a fixture for real, never having to worry about being gradually cut out again. It certainly allows you to make it to meetings on time with that much more certainty.
Also, you’re not alone anymore. You never were, not really; Ravka is a cramped sort of annex, the kind of place in which you can hardly go down the length of a street without bumping into at least half a dozen people. The palace is on a whole separate level, however. Here, there are guards stationed everywhere, First and Second Army alike, then all the Grisha there with the Triumvirate or having arrived to report from the Little Palace just around the corner. Factor in palace staff, random diplomats, and spies, and you’ve got an audience fit for any queen, no matter how recently crowned. 
No, hardly a dull moment indeed. Still, in the times when you need company most, those late nights when you’re certain that Ravka could never possibly come back from all the fights it has chosen to pick, you have someone there with you, someone who understands. When the moon has hung overhead for quite some time and the lights are off, Nikolai sits by your side, whispers that it’s going to be alright. Neither of you believe it, but it makes it better to hear someone you trust speak the foolish hopes aloud.
In all honesty, you think you’re growing to rely on him a little too much. At the beginning, you and Nikolai both agreed that this was strictly a marriage of convenience, that you had started this whole affair as friends and you would end it as such as well. Yet when Nikolai presents you to everyone in his path as his wife with that same giddy look on his face, it’s easy to pretend that his feelings could be elsewhere.
Elsewhere, just as yours are now. You had not intended to fall for him, but Nikolai does not make it a difficult task. He never has. There is another reason you agreed to his proposal, one you would not tell him in a thousand years:  you assumed that you would never get such a chance again. Nikolai is, after all, a royal, and you are not. If you had declined his offer, it would only be to watch him wed someone else. At least now you get to claim his heart. At least now it is halfway yours, even if he grows to love someone else. On paper, he is chained to you.
Some days, that is enough. Others, you won’t satisfy yourself until you know for sure. There are a few nights when both of you want to prove something, when you take kvas instead of water for too long and let yourselves pretend that your alliance is something more than mere politics. You have kissed him more than you thought you would, even when no one was watching and there was no audience in need of a ruse to be kept up. You did it because you wanted to, and he kissed you back because he needed it just as much as you.
You never offer up an explanation for those nights, and neither does he. In the morning, you both go about your business as if nothing had ever happened. In reality, it hasn’t. Small altercations involving both of you ignoring your duties have no place in the future. You are wed for Ravka and you’ll die for her too. Falling in love is only a distraction, and not one that will serve you well. You learn that soon enough.
Your husband may be leaving you shortly.
Nikolai is not a Lantsov, not really. The rumor mills have known it for some time, and you think Nikolai has as well. Of course it would all come to ruin at some point. Nikolai has had an incredible grip on his broken country for quite some time, but all those petty shards just sliced his hands to ribbon. It would all drop eventually, and no one could blame him for that.
The nobles wanted answers. They always do. What you did not expect, however, was to walk out of a conference in which Zoya Nazyalensky was named as ruler of Ravka instead of Nikolai. The general of the Second Army is a worthy queen, of course, and you easily hand your title over to her; the stress could gray your hair like a silver tiara, but it still leaves you wondering what comes next.
It also makes you think about Nikolai. Nikolai, who wed you to avoid political conflict. Nikolai, who is no longer in that same position. Nikolai, who has absolutely no reason to remain married to you at all.
Your thoughts race in a tumultuous rhythm all the way back to your quarters after that fateful meeting. It’s going to hurt. What will? And:  of course it will. What in this world doesn’t? You close the door behind you and walk halfway into the room before coming to a stop again. This has been your place for so long. It almost feels cruel to leave it.
The door opens behind you. You don’t have to turn around to know who has intruded on your shared space. You have long since been able to identify Nikolai by the turn of his step, the even rush of his breath, the quiet shuffle of his fingers in his gloves.
“Do you hate me for not giving you more advance notice?” He asks. Nikolai is careful to keep his voice neutral, but you hear the way his breathing hesitates as he waits for your response.
“No,” you say, although you do not turn around, “I knew you came up with it about thirty seconds before you said it. You didn’t have time.”
Nikolai exhales slowly. “We’ve had a lot of time.”
You close your eyes. This is the part you’ve been waiting for. This is when he ends it. Nikolai has no more use for you, not after he’s done his political maneuvering and finally managed to get himself out of the whole mess of kingship. You have always loved Nikolai for his mind, but Saints, if it doesn’t hurt sometimes to feel it used in the wrong direction.
“You could do it, you know,” you whisper, “No one would blame you.”
Nikolai had been starting to walk towards you, but his heels come to an abrupt click-stop on the floor. “What?”
You let out a bitter, quiet laugh. “End it. The marriage. People are already asking if you’re going to cut it off. We only made this agreement so you could fend off the other Ravkan nobles while you were king. You’re no longer king, why keep this around any longer? I won’t force you to stay with me if you love someone else.”
Nikolai is deathly silent for a moment, then two. You tense your shoulders, waiting for the blow to land, but it never does. Instead, he walks to your side and takes your hand.
“Do you always have to be such a martyr, sweetheart?”
Your lips part in a silent gasp. “What?”
Nikolai has the nerve to smile as if he hasn’t upset your entire world. “I know you didn’t just marry me for politics. I didn’t ask you just for politics, either. We wanted something. Maybe I still want it.”
He squeezes your hand; you squeeze it back, two beats of a heart. “You could marry Zoya, though. If you still wanted the crown.”
Nikolai laughs. “I don’t want the crown, and although I am certainly grateful to Zoya, I don’t want to marry her, either. No, Y/N, I want you. I want to wander through Ravka without having to worry about all the responsibilities of my office. I want to rent a rusted schooner and show you the sea. I want to get us in trouble and out of it again and again. I want to do a thousand things with you that we never could have done as king and queen. I want to die having loved you, and having loved you right.”
You smile, unable to stop for a second. “We can grow old without anyone needing us.”
Nikolai closes his eyes for a moment as if picturing it. “I think I’d like nothing more.”
You stand in a room that is no longer yours, in a palace that no longer calls your name. You think you have never been happier about it. You still have your husband. All else is a mere triviality.
grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @thatfangirl42, @amortensie, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggiesolovey
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atlabeth · 9 months ago
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now that the dust has cleared from the chaos for me irl, i want to officially thank you all for 3000 followers!! because wow. where do i even start?
this isn't a milestone i thought i would ever reach. i made this blog during my junior year of high school when i was bored as hell in online school, not knowing what would come of it, and honestly not expecting anyone to read anything i’ve written. i exclusively wrote avatar fics (kind of embarrassing that a series i started at the beginning of my blog still isnt finished huh?) because it was what i had been watching most recently. i started to gain some recognition, made some friends, and slowly but surely i carved out my little corner of the internet. and now, 3 years, 3000 followers, and almost 500,000 words later, i’m going into my junior year of college with some of the best online friends a girl could ask for (shoutout to my day 1 @simplysolo for still being around and still being the best ever, and shoutout to all my other tumblr friends that have deactivated over the years</3 i miss you guys) a whole array of fandoms that i’ve dabbled in, and a newly discovered thing for middle aged men. cool 
i truly cannot thank you all enough. i’ve always been a writer, but this blog has given me a sorely needed creative outlet and made me more confident in my writing skills than ever. at the end of the day i’m just writing silly little x reader fics, but i’ve truly had so much fun doing it! every single fictional man im in love with is also in love with me isn’t that crazy!!!
a special, extended shoutout to the loveliest mutuals i’ve picked up over the years. i wouldn’t be half the writer i am and i wouldn’t have half as much fun on here without you all. @simplysolo for being around since the beginning and truly being the greatest person on this app, i love you intensely, @sokkadora for being another one of my ogs (we dont talk anymore but i see you every so often on my dash and you’re doing great!!) @mcallmestiles for being one of the first avatar fics i ever read, traitor encouraged me to be a better writer and i hope you’re doing well with your medical career!! @tangledinlove for being my most famous mutual, the kindest person in the world, and being brought together through the power of lockwood, @giyuji and @milkiane who are both inactive but who i have to tag because i love them and i hope they’re doing well; naomi you got me into the grishaverse and liane we were in the trenches of the stranger things revival together, @boneblushed for dealing with so much but still being phenomenal and lovely in every way, @tommymcartney for being so sweet all the time, my biggest cheerleader and encouraging my insanity in every fandom ive been a part of, @nghtwngs for being the only person who loses it over nikolai lantsov as much as i do, to all my new/more recent mutuals @hotchfiles @ma1dita @moowithmidnight @emiliehornby @supercutszns i can't wait to get to know or keep getting to know you!!! you're all so lovely!!! and all the mutuals i don’t talk to as much as i should, i love you all and cherish you in my heart regardless of if we talk every day or have never said a single word to each other!! i don’t want to tag you all because i don’t want to bother you, but if you’re looking at this and thinking am i talking about you, i am. i love you. it takes a village and im so lucky to have you all as mine 
i can’t believe it’s been 3 years, i can’t believe i’m halfway done with college, and i can’t believe we hit 3,000. truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for reading my fics and letting me be some small part of your lives. i can’t wait to write more for you all. keep a lookout for my 3k celebration post! 
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