#also they are fuzzy cuz I just thought they live later down in game timeline

[fly-sky-high-bug-games]

girls as scugs idea

the fact that Silva and Yonna's colors correspond to in game slugs assigned to their skills is a pure coincidence XD

The little scav tribe is the one where Traveler and Pilgrim are

[originalityisruin]

June 17, 2021 - 3:14am

Already second night in a row that I haven't been able to sleep.... probably running on 2 -3 hours of sleep. I also drove 6hrs to the RGV. My brain won't shut off. I don't even know what I'm thinking tbh. It's all jumble. I guess I am overthinking our previous session. I was halfway distracted, so I became vulnerable. I am always guarded and know exactly what I say/give away. I had my guard down, but was still paying attention. I have found a couple of things you mentioned interesting. Idk maybe I'm overthinking like always 🤷🏽‍♀️. For example, I felt (maybe I mistook your tone/words) that you think I went through something traumatic with a male which turned me gay. Or my interactions with males have been so negative that I have turn my attention to females. I am not sure why that 4min conversation stood out. It might be because it would be easier to explain why I "turned" gay? 🤔 idk why but it bother me that assumption. Maybe because my mom has asked me and I know I have told you that before. She has asked me if a man touched me inappropriate when I was a child which would explain why I have never broughten a guy home. My reply is always, No, unless I'm forgetting something 🤷🏽‍♀️. She then goes on to say her opinions or observations. I just listen and nod and pretend to care to her opinions.

Maybe you can say I'm Bisexual if we want to be technical? I really don't think so tbh. I have always been attracted to females.

Society/religion (ugh) just molds us into believing that we have to be with the opposite sex and to a certain point I understand because we need to procreate.

So let's start from my childhood..

All of this happen before I was 12 yrs old and living in California.

First kiss probably I was around 9. It was behind a moon jump at a first communion party with a 12 year old boy. I remember this because I was so innocent/dumb haha. I was inside in a corner just kid watching (even as a child I enjoyed people watching). When this blonde boy, bounce up to me and was asking me something in English. I thought he was saying, "Want to trade candy (cuz we got our candy bags)?" I couldn't hear him because other kids were playing in the moon jump. He made signs for me to follow him outside. So me being me, I went outside and follow him to the back of the moon jump. We sat in the back and I pour out my candy still thinking that is what he wanted to do. When I looked up, he laugh and kissed me. I have no idea how long that lasted because I remembered being in shock and we got Interrupted by the owner of the moon jump telling us that he was about to turn it off. R. laugh, help me pick up my candy and walked towards the front. I had never seen/met that boy before. Afterwards I didn't see him, until another of couple of family gathering. Then his mom would come over or we would go over. We would always sneak off and do our own thing (Make out sessions, hand jobs, etc.), I know I was young and I obviously didn't completely comprehend what was going on. All I know was that he made me feel good and I always had fun. I think it went on for a year or so. Idk the timeline gets fuzzy. During that same year or so, my neighbor (J), and I started messing (kissing, touching each other "bikini areas etc..) around as well. Then a year later, it was with my other neighbor (N) female as well.

Also I experienced harassment from a 23 year old man. 

As far as I remember/am aware. I never had sex sex (penetration), like with a boy. Now a female, that's a different story.

Then I moved to TX, I was in the middle of 6th grade and was already 12.

I didn't do much grades 6th-8th. I kept to myself, develop crushes but never acted on them I would keep to myself. I was heavily into online games. So I met Johnny and we tried the whole Long Distance thing. We would write physical letters (still have them) to each other and Skype. Lasted for 2yrs. or so, I ended things. Then in highschool, I met Rudy, through a friend. He was a senior and I was a sophomore. Yeah, that didn't work out either. He kissed me and I nearly threw up. I was just not having it. He wanted to get married. Yeah no. 😬. Then I guess my group of friends started to explore their sexuality, and I was the most of "experience." So I taught most of my friends how to make out 🤷🏽‍♀️😂. Yeah idk it was fun and messy. Didn't date anyone.

College

Yeah, I was to busy dealing with shit at home. That I didn't have time to think about relationships or anything sexual.

* Side note* I know I recently had contact with R (Like this year) and he was brought that conversation up. He said he was upset that he wasn't my first and I told him, "Yeah, a girl beat you to it." He said it doesn't count 🤭🤷🏽‍♀️ He is an idiot.